


Ballum one shots/prompts

by Smugdendingle



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Fluff/Softness, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Oral/Anal Sex, Other, Self Harm, Sensory Impairments, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-18 10:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 138
Words: 161,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20637956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smugdendingle/pseuds/Smugdendingle
Summary: Ballum one shots/prompts for my own indulgence or readers can prompt me stuff to write too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> #1 - one waking up the other and whispers in his ear

Ben pushes his whole front body against Callum’s back. He probs his chin on Callum’s shoulder, half laying down and half in the air. “ Beautiful you are. “ he whispers into Callum’s ear, he fondly strokes his fingers through Callum’s thick brunette hair being mindful not to wake him up. “ I know I always joke about me teasing ya, but I do love ya. “ Ben confesses quietly. 

This is one of Ben’s favourite times in the early hours of the morning. If he wakes up first Ben would cuddle against Callum or place different kisses to Callum’s gorgeous body.   
Even if they’ve had an argument, Ben would whisper sweet nothings into Callum’s ear. 

“ I still can’t believe you held me in the middle of the pub, in your arms. “ Ben confessed, still in disbelief. He stroked up and down Callum’s chest in a warming manner. “ Even when Whitney was about to out you, when your wedding went to shit. You didn’t care about any of that, you only cared about me. “   
He stopped talking for a moment, taking in Callum’s peaceful face. “ I’ll always be thankful Cal, I’m still here to annoy the shit out of you. I’m still here to be Lexis dad and watch her grow up. “ his voice cracked, the lump suddenly coming up in his throat. God, he really has become a softy hasn’t he? “ I love you too much to lose ya cal, you’ve made me be me again, to feel like I don’t have to put up an act anymore. “ Ben twirled Callum’s lock around his finger in a gentle curl. “ I just wish you see the impact you have on other too cal, you’re too hard on yourself. “Ben said, in a pitying tone before smirking. “ But your always hard for me anyway, suppose that’s alright then. “ he chuckles to his own joke. He kisses Callum’s shoulder again and lays back down, tucking them both under the quilt. As he snuggled up to his boyfriend. 

“ m’did you whisper nothings into my ear again? “ Callum requires half slurring, voice deep with sleep. 

Ben smirks, eyes still closed letting Callum kiss his hand. “ Maybe. “ 

Callum scoffs quietly. “ A right softie you are. “ 

“ hmm. I’m not a sofie right now I’m I? “ Ben teases, pushing his crotch into Callum’s behind. 

“ Mmm I’m tired. “ Callum moans, pushing his head further into the pillow trying to get away from Ben’s countless sloppy kisses. He loves them really. 

“ Come on baby. “ Ben whispers, deep in his throat. He wetly kisses Callum’s neck, nuzzling his nose into Callum’s jaw making him laugh from the tickles. Ben carries on with the teasing kisses and snogs lovin’ the giggles coming from his boyfriend. 

“ B-Ben stop! “ Callum laughs out loud, placing his hand on Bens bare chest. 

“ hmm but you love my kisses! “ Ben protest, he lays Callum on his back and straddles his waist. “ You weren’t complaining last night. “ 

“ Had my mouthful didn’t I? “ Callum smirks. 

A twinkle sets off in bens eye, his smile widening. “ Think my bad influence is rubbing off on ya. “ 

“ I’m sure I’ll be alright. “ Callum replies, snogging Ben again, he pulls away with a smile when ben chases after his lips. “ And anyway everybody loves a bad boy. “ 

Ben hums, cupping Callum’s jaw.   
“ That’s why you chased after me all those months ago. “ 

“ hmm. I had that bench wood imprinted on my arse for days! “ 

“ Wish I could’ve seen my handiwork Cal, I would’ve kissed it better. “ 

“ and you did - only 2 nights ago. “ 

Ben leans forward again, brushing his lips against Callum’s. “ think I need reminding again. “ 

“ hmm I think you do. “ 

Their lips clashed together, going deep in the covers and had long, heated sex.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #2 - one seeing the other coming out of the bedroom shirtless and only in boxers

Ben slowly walked into the living room with a groan, holding his side where his wound was. Callum looked up and froze. Ben looked amazing, even when he’s just in his boxers and got his glasses on. How did Callum, a awkward nervous wreck, get a bloke like Ben? 

“ enjoying the view are ya?” Ben cocky says, his signature smirk plastered on his scruffy face. 

Callum got up from his seat and strolled over to his boyfriend wrapping his arms around Ben’s bare waist. He pressed down a kiss on Ben’s lips, smirking because his boyfriend is a shortie. 

“ Stop laughin’ at my height! “ Ben swatted Callum’s chest with a light laugh. 

Callum choked on a laugh, patting Ben’s head mockingly.  
“ Poor Bennie! “ 

Ben pushed his crotch into Callum’s making a point.  
“ You weren’t saying that last night where ya? “ 

“ Hmm that’s true, but the shortest of people are always the grumpiest. “ 

“ Says you! “ Ben screeched out. “ You are so grumpy in the mornings I fear for me life! “ 

“ Your such a drama queen! “ 

“ I’m not a queen! “ 

Callum scoffed, not taking note how their bodies bashed together as they laughed. Their arms still tangled together around each other’s waists. 

“ You looked very good in that tara yesterday Ben with Lex putting that make up on ya. “  
Callum raised an eyebrow with a teasing smirk, his eyes lightening. 

He blushed. “ Shurr’up! “ 

“ ah come on! You even had that cute little quiff too! “ Callum laughed into Ben’s head when he buried his face in Callum’s chest. “ Embarrassed are ya? “ 

“ I’m going to get you back for taking that photo I am. “ Ben murmured into Callum’s chest, his words muffled. 

Callum grinned harder, rubbing Ben’s back in a smoothing rhythm. “ Hmm never gonna delete it though. I may need it as revenge or something. “ 

Ben pulled his head off Callum’s chest frowning at him. “ Revenge? Your too good for being on the wrong side of the law. “ 

“ You never know. “ 

“ pfft. “ Ben scoffed. “ Your too good Cal, not in a million years can I see ya being bad. “ 

Callum tilted his head to the side. “ Well I did shoot mick. “ 

“ what! When? “ 

“ last January. I shot ‘im in the shoulder. “ 

“ I can’t believe I’m only hearing this now. “ Ben said in disbelief. 

“ A dark horse I am. “ 

“ hmm, I love a bloke with a gun I do. “ 

“ you have a gun kink? “ 

This time Ben tilted to his side, pretending to think. “ More about the bloke who’s holding the gun. “ he smirked. “ I’ll love to see you in your army uniform. “ 

“ That needs to be earned. “ 

Ben’s eyes darkened more with lust. “ and what do I have to do to gain your underlying trust? “ 

Callum carries on rubbing Ben’s back, his hand sliding lower and lower down Ben’s back. “ If you know me so much - you’ll have to work it out. “ Callum shrugged teasingly, the twinkle in his eyes beaming. 

“ I’m always up for a challenge I am. “ 

And didn’t he succeed in the challenge ( it took 3 weeks but that wasn’t mentioned. Only it was - Callum teased him for a solid 60 minutes).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #3 - Getting lost somewhere

“ Ben! It ain’t funny! “ Callum hissed down the phone. 

Ben laughed harder down the phone. “ Oh it is though! “ 

“ Ben I could get seriously hurt! “ Callum whined, frustrated that his boyfriend isn’t getting the crucial point. 

“ Pfft I’m sure your army training will protect ya! “ 

Callum huffed. “ All I was supposed to do was help Mrs Smith and now I’m lost! “ 

“ well that’s what happens when you help people. “ 

“ it’s called being nice. “ Callum reminded him bluntly. 

“ it’s called being in the pain in the arse. I can’t cuddle up to my boyfriend now because he’s lost somewhere in West - East London. “ 

“ sometimes I wish you were more sincere Ben. “ Callum grumbled, Ben could tell Callum was walking by the rusting down the phone. 

“ Come on don’t be like that. “ Ben told him softly. “ I was very sincere this morning. “ 

“ sex doesn’t count. “ 

“ Oh yes it does. Especially when I’ve given you the best blowjob in the world. “ 

“ wouldn’t go that far. “ Callum muttered. 

Ben faked outraged, with a gasp. “ Callum! “ he pronounced each 2 part with over exaggeration. “ Are you sayin’ the Ben Mitchell experience wasn’t top notch? “ 

“ Yes Ben. “ Callum’s voice light. “ I felt it wasn’t as good as other times. “ he deadpanned. 

“ Well we have to do something about that then won’t we? “ 

“ Hmm may have too. “ Callum commented, concentrated. 

Ben frowned, Callum sounded strange like he saw something and concentrating hard on something. “ what’s wrong? “ Ben wasn’t bothered he sounded worried. 

“ Some men are beating up a bloke. “ Callum explained, he sounded angry. “ gotta go. “ 

“ No Callum don’t go -“ but the line went dead. Ben got up from the sofa jogging to get his trainers on quickly before getting his keys and practically flying out of the house. He can’t believe his idiotic boyfriend is about to play hero with a bunch of blokes. 

Ben desperately tries to block out the flashbacks of Paul being beaten to death as he retraces Callum’s footsteps. 

-/- 

After 90 minutes of searching for Callum and calling him frantically Ben finally finds him slump against a alleyway wall.   
Ben runs to him automatically fearing for the worst because he’s not moving. Only, Callum is barley awake. 

“ Cal, Callum -come on wake up. “ Ben pleads, trying to wake up his semi conscious boyfriend. After a few minutes ( which feel like years ), Callum slowly wakes up with a groan, every nerve ending is screaming in agony. Like his body is seething with furry for him putting his body through this. 

Ben breaths out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, Callum doesn’t register Ben cupping his jaw. 

“ How’you find me? “ Callum says in the back of his throat, even talking is taking everything out of him. 

“ Never mind that! Look at ya! “ Ben stresses and he has a right to be stressed. Callum looks dreadful and Ben would never call his good looking boyfriend dreadful. Callum has blood all over his face, bottom lip & right eyebrow cut open, bruising already forming over his face. 

Ben stands up bending down at the knees to lift Callum up, who feels like deadweight.   
“ when your feeling better, I am going to be so mad at you - you wish I didn’t find ya! “ 

“ mmm. “ Callum hums drowsy, his head falling onto Ben’s shoulder. Ben basically carried Callum to his car with a lot of huffing and puffing. Callum is a tall bloke okay? How would you feel if you had to carry someone who’s 5 foot 9, is basically deadweight and your a midget? 

Ben pushes Callum into the passenger seat and has bit of difficulty putting his legs in and head. But he manages so far, he shakes Callum awake giving him water before driving off back to his house. 

He is going to go off at Callum when they get home. 

-/- 

Sooo - Ben dropped Callum.   
Not like Callum noticed, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him right? Right? Wrong, kind of. Anyways, Ben placed ( as gently as he could with aching arms - god bless his muscles ) his lover on the sofa. Who rolled his head, mumbled something and slobbed out. Ben sighed, he got the frozen peas and pushed them against Callum’s face. 

With unnecessary amount of force, but he can just say he didn’t want anymore swelling for his Callum. Not that Ben was taking out some of his anger through kindness. Of course not.... 

Ben checked for any swelling on Callum’s head and there weren’t, he put it down to mild/major concession. He has suddenly got a doctors degree and seems to know what he’s talking about. 

In which, he should know, the amount of times people have wallop him one he’s surprised he gets through a day without a bruise being supported on his face. 

Ben dragged Callum up the stairs, not wanting Lexi to get frightened by Callum’s face   
( he would laugh at his own thoughts if the moment was right ). He placed Callum in their bed and started to take off his suit. Ben took note of the scattered bruises on his abdomen and chest too, Callum probably has bruised ribs by looking at them. 

It has now been 3 hours since Ben found his boyfriend and brought him home. He kinda regrets not taking him to the hospital but it’s probably confession anyway. 

Whilst Ben sits next to his boyfriend watching him sleep he sees Callum’s hand twitch and Ben’s alert. “ Callum? “ 

“ ugh I feel dreadful. “ Callum groans out. 

“ Yeh you fucking look it! “ Ben raises his voice watching as Callum winces. 

“ Do you know how terrified I’ve been!? “ 

“ I’m fine. “ 

“ fine? Fine! “ Ben gets up from the bed and starts pacing.   
“ you could have died! “ 

“ and I didn’t. “ Callum weakly defends. 

“ YOU COULD HAVE DIED LIKE PAUL CALLUM! “ 

Callum sighs, at least he has the decency to look ashamed.   
“ I’m sorry. “ he murmurs. Ben’s face softens to a fraction.   
“ but I saw these blokes beating up a teenager! I couldn’t just walk past like I saw nothin’!” 

Ben sighs, retreats. Only Callum can calm him down quickly.   
He walks over and sits on the bed holding Callum’s hand stroking the skin with a thumb. 

“ I hate seein’ you hurt. I couldn’t have another boyfriend being beaten to death, I barely survived Paul. If the same happened to you? I don’t think I would function at all. “ 

“ I didn’t mean to upset ya. “ 

“ just - when your playing hero try not to put yourself into danger yeh? “ 

“ I try my best. “ 

“ no Callum take me seriously. “ Ben firmly said. “ I love you too much to ask Jay for a funeral discount for your casket! “ 

Callum choked on a surprised laugh. “ charmin’. “ 

Ben ignored the comment. “ I want you here with me, I want you to be your stupid naive self for a long time. Me and Lex need ya Cal. “ 

Callum looked down, avoiding Ben’s eyes at all costs. Suddenly it’s getting all too serious and he can’t handle it. 

“ Yous don’t need me. “ Callum said before he even thought about it. 

Ben gripped Callum’s hand tighter. “ Yes we do! Lex loves your stories about dragons or knights fighting to save the ice cream princess. “ Callum weakly smiled at that and that encouraged Ben to carry on.   
“ We love your home made cookin’, or you trying to do something and it goes to shits. Or you teaching Lexi how to roller skate and you fell arse first. “ 

“ that hurt that did. “ Callum piped in. 

“ Well by the massive bruise on your arse and lower back show, then yeh. “ Ben mentioned.   
“ what I’m saying is - we both need you, practically the whole square needs a bit of Highway in their lives. “ 

Callum chuckled whilst blushing. “ alright alright you’ve made ya point. “ 

“ so you’ll stop acting like a hero then? “ 

“ I’ll stick to the day job. “ 

“ good. “ Ben smiled, placing his lips against Callum’s, cheekily slipping in a tongue halfway in.   
“ love you. “ 

“ love you too. “ 

“ You can cook dinner tonight. “ Ben told him casually when he pulled away. 

“ what? Why! I’m broken! “ 

“ well you’ll be fixed in a few weeks! “ Ben shrugged, jokingly. 

Callum groaned again. “ fine. Spag Bol? “ 

“ with meatballs. “ Ben informed. “ I love a good wet, meaty ball I do. “ 

“ Jesus Christ Ben. I don’t think I can look at one the same now.” 

“ oh come on! You love the balls. “ 

“ okay stop now. “ 

“ and the sausages. “ Ben carries on. “ especially the thick long -“ 

Callum jokingly slaps him across the head as Ben covers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #4 - Pet names

“ Babe! “ 

“ what? “ Callum called from downstairs in the Beale’s house. He didn’t look up from the computer when Ben walked down the stairs in just his boxers and a thick navy gown hung from his shoulders. 

“ You dropped Lex off at school? “ 

Callum nodded, still looking at flats. “ yeh, got her on time. “ 

Ben sat next to his boyfriend wrapping his arm around Callum’s shoulder. He played with the short hairs on Callum’s neck by his ear. 

“ How’s flat searching going? “ 

“ Barely anything. “ Callum grumbles. 

“ We’ll find somewhere Cal. “ Ben murmured, pecking Callum’s cheek before shuffling closer to him. 

Callum sighs, fed up. All the flats he’s been ( and Ben ) looking for have been too dear, miles away from Walford and only have 2 bed. There isn’t anything that is reasonable price, 3 bed, liveable living room and kitchen with a Okay bathroom. They’re not asking for much. 

“ well I can work more at the arches? “ 

“ We barely see you as it is. “ Callum pouts, playing with Ben’s hand. Ben looked down and didn’t say anything because it is true. He’s been working over time lately, he barley sees Lexi or Cal and when he does it is for a solid 5 to 10 minutes. Only today he can go to work a bit later, it’s the same for Callum too. He’s done all the work, there isn’t much to do now.   
He’s even started to work in The Queen Vic, but the money isn’t drawing enough for London prices. 

“ We’ll think of something babe, can’t lose hope can we? “ he grinned softly, nudging his boyfriends shoulder. 

“ no- no its not that. “ 

Ben frowned, sensing Callum has more to say. “ but? “ 

“ I could go back to the army? “ 

“ no. “ Ben firmly said. 

“ but I -“ 

Ben turned his whole body to Callum, a stern expression on his face. “ no, I don’t want you goin’ back out there babe. “ he said, a slight tremor in his voice. “ I can’t lose ya. “ 

“ you won’t. “ Callum assured, squeezing Ben’s hand. 

“ You got that scar on your right side from being out there. “ Ben bluntly said. “ what if I get you back in a cardboard box? “ 

Callum ignored the last comment. “ But the pay is good, I could do that get the money for us three. “ 

Ben shook his head pulling away from Callum, not caring he’s been stubborn and unreasonable. “ I don’t want another one of my boyfriends dead Callum. “ he told him, whilst getting his coat. “ if you can’t understand that -“ he trailed off, a shrug of the shoulders. He still pressed a kiss to Callum’s forehead and lips before heading to work. 

Callum watched him go with a unreadable facial expression. He’s been thinking about going back to the Army lately, it wasn’t ever about the money when he first started. However, now it kinda is. He misses his mates, misses helping and laughing and once or loads of times smoking with them. But the pay is good, especially if he does it for about 6/9 months. 

Maybe he could get Ben round to the idea? 

-/- 

Callum stood in their bedroom looking at his army uniform. He misses wearing it, he hasn’t worn it in a long time, 2 years maybe? 

And before he even registers it, he’s putting the camouflage uniform on. It feels great, it feels great on him and he looks good. He isn’t a vein bloke, but since going for longer runs and more lifting up barrels from the basement of The Vic. He has become toned and it shows. 

He doesn’t even hear anyone coming into the room till he hears a impressive whistle before a very amazed Ben speaks. “ wow. “ his eyes trail down his boyfriends lean, tall body. God, his boyfriend is a model. 

Callum turns to him with a blush seeping up from his neck. He isn’t use to compliments and he always blushes when Ben does compliment him. He loves it. 

“ You look - wow -“ 

“ who knew Ben Mitchell would be speechless? “ Callum teases. Ben walks over to him still in shock, he wraps his arms around Callum’s waist and kisses his boyfriend hard and wet on the lips. 

“ Fucking hell Babe. You look like a model’. “ 

Callum chuckles, ducking his head onto Ben’s shorter shoulder. “ nah I ain’t. “ 

“ Yes you are! Look at ya. “ Ben protests, sliding his hands down to Callum’s plump arse. He grabs the butt cheeks and squeezes as he makes a moaning sound. 

“ How did I get someone so fit?” 

Callum pushes Ben tighter into his body and wraps his arms tighter around his waist.   
“ Hmm your fitter. “ 

“ You’re sexier. “ 

“ Guess we have to disagree to agree then. “ Callum smiles against Ben’s lips. 

Ben pulls away slightly to speak. “ Do I need to show you how fit you are again? “

Callum breathily laughs, remembering that time, months ago, when Ben fucked him senseless for 2 hours and admired Callum’s body. When Callum was having a bad day, his insecurities raising their ugly heads. Let’s say, Ben will be happily to show and have long slow sex to get Callum to see how fucking attractive he is. 

“ you may have too. “ 

“ babe. “ Ben moans, his head bending backwards as his crotch pushes into Callum’s hard on. He thrives the moments when Callum is being confident and starts to suduce Ben. 

“ You loving that you, baby? “ Callum whispers, sticking his second finger into Ben’s hole. 

“ Fucking hell - I’m gonna cum - nobody’s made me want to cum this fast before. “ Ben moans and groans and grips Callum’s shoulders as support. He can feel his legs beginning to buckle.   
The moment of Callum standing in his army uniform long forgotten now, they are more preoccupied. 

“ Fuck fuck fuck - I’m - I’m gonna cum -“ Ben pants. Callum plays inside in him teasing and mocking, moving in and out in slow and then fast rhythms. 

“ Cum for me baby. “ Callum commands, lust making his voice deep. 

And Ben cums hard. He bloody cums in his pants and isn’t even naked. That is what he calls “ The Callum Highway effect. “ Callum’s words not his. 

Ben pants into Callum’s chest, Callum pulls his hand out and kisses Ben’s slightly sweaty hair. “ You okay baby? “ 

“ hmm. I’ve never orgasmed like that before from just finger fucking. “ Ben breathlessly states, kissing Callum’s neck. 

“ I’m pleased I’ve done my duty. “ 

Ben laughs into Callum’s chest. He pulls away from him throwing off his clothes into the washing basket. “ why are you in your uniform? “ Ben asks him curiously and confused. He puts on his shorts and thick navy gown. He watches his boyfriend neatly take off his clothes too.   
“ If you’ve accepted to go back to the army I will actually kill ya. “ Ben threatens without any actual heat behind his word. 

“ I haven’t joined again. “ Callum answers the question.   
“ I just saw it there and decided to put it on. “ he says nonchalantly. 

Ben upturns his mouth and nods. “ Well you can wear that any time babe, because you look fit as fuck. “ 

“ You have a uniform kink or something? “ Callum turns to him amused. 

Ben fakes surrender. “ whatever gets it going.” He says, not really answering Callum’s question but Callum can see the little twinkle of truth in his blue eyes. 

“ Kinki Bastard. “ Callum mutters and yelps a second later when Ben rolls a towel up and smacks Callum’s arse with it. 

“ Oi! “ 

“ what! Your arse looks amazing! “ 

Callum scoffs, shaking his head fondly at him watching him stroll over to him and gently pinches the skin. “ Babe, come on stop it. “ 

“ mmm no can do I’m afraid. “ Ben fakes shown bothered.   
“ It’s against the law to not pinch a beautiful plump arse. “ 

Callum lets out a laugh. “ Under What law? “ 

“ the gay law. “ Ben actually says it like it is a law. 

“ Well I didn’t hear of this? “ Callum plays along. 

“ best get researching then babe. “ Ben smiles, kisses Callum’s lips once again and walks to the bedroom door. He stops and turns with a smile.   
“ Your cooking. “ 

“ takeaway. “ 

“ Lazy. “ Ben cheekily says and walks out. 

“ not as lazy as you heavy! “ 

“ Your gonna get a smack if you carry on calling me heavy! “ Ben calls out in a fast pace, his London accent coming in deep force again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #5 - Triggers kidnap, violence, blood/bruising

Ben rang Callum’s number for the millionth time only for it to go straight to voicemail. He is panicking till the point where he is struggling to breathe.   
Lexi, his little baby girl, is missing. He only left her in the park for a few minutes to get her some ice cream, when he came back she was gone. Disappeared from the face of the Earth.   
He checked everywhere, every single angle and spot within Walford. He cried, screamed and became a madman.   
Only, his boyfriend, Callum, wasn’t answering his calls. He always answered them but it’s Ben’s 30th call and it’s a dead end. 

Ben sits in his car, with the engining revenging trying to think. He didn’t see anything suspicious when he and his daughter were in the park. It brings a shiver down his spine knowing they were being watched. 

Jay, Lola, Kathy - the whole square are looking for her. 

His phone rings loudly, he grabs for it with an instant frown.   
A private number. 

“ hello? “ 

“ Ben. “ His blood runs ice cold.   
“ you really shouldn’t leave your sweet daughter alone on her own, anyone could get their grubby hands on her. “ 

“ YOU GIVE ME BACK MY DAUGHTER-“ 

“ now now, calm your sweet hands down Ben. You don’t want anything to happen to them. “ 

“ them? “ Ben repeated, feeling sick. 

He flinches at the laugh down the phone. “ Oh didn’t I not tell you? Your boyfriend is quite the mouthy gob ain’t he? “ the man chuckles darkly. “ Shame he so quiet now, the place is just so so silent with the both of them asleep. “ 

“ why - why’ve you done this? “ Ben asked, tears running down his cheeks, nothing compares to this wrenching feeling of his heart being pulled. 

“ Remember what I told you Ben? If I don’t get my money I’ll take what’s most important to ya? Well I have - both of ‘em. “ 

“ p-please don’t hurt them. “ Ben pleaded. 

“ Hmm no can do I’m afraid. “ The man winces. Ben feels the anger bubbling up, if he’s done anything to his innocent daughter- “ Now I wouldn’t ever hurt a girl, not a kid, I’m not that cold blooded. It makes my skin crawl thinking of those sickos hurting children. So, instead, your boyfriend has been taking the beaten for the two of them. “ 

Flashes of Paul being beaten rush through his mind. He can’t see Callum beaten to death, his broken body laying there. 

He can’t lose Callum. 

“ I’ll - I’ll do anything please - just don’t touch them. Don’t - don’t hurt them please. “ 

“ Ben Mitchell begging? Wow, they really are important to you aren’t they? “ 

“ Just give them back to me please! “ Ben cries, pushes his head back against the headboard. 

“ Hmm should I? Or shouldn’t I? I’m having too much fun though Ben. I love a Mitchell in desperate need and I have the whole power. “ 

“ If you touch them your dead! “ Ben hisses, venom lacing his words. 

“ Are you sure you want to make empty threats? Knowing that I’ve got your boyfriend and kid? “ 

Ben sighs in frustration. “ please just tell me what to do. “ 

“ Which one is most important to you Ben? “ the man asks him instead, completely ignoring what Ben just said. 

“ what? “ Ben lets out, frozen. 

“ which one is most important to you? “ the man repeats, casually. 

“ W-Why? “ 

“ I want to know so I can beat one of them up to a pulp if I don’t get my money. “ 

“ y-you don’t mean that. “ 

“ Don’t I? “ The man smirks, Ben can feel it. “ Do you really want to find out? “ a pause. “ meet me at the abandoned garage in East London - 5pm. Do not be late or you won’t get either of them alive. “ The phone cuts dead. 

Ben hysterically punches the starring wheel again and again till his knuckles bleed and ache. He can’t choose, it is impossible to choose between Callum and Lexi. He loves them both unconditionally, he’ll rather die than to pick. He can’t live a life with one of them not there. 

-/- 

“ You WHAT?! “ Phil yells at his son. “ One of your stupid- stupid deals has knocked your family into danger again! “ 

“ I know! “ Ben raises his voice in frustration. “ don’t you think I know? You know how much I hate myself -“ 

“ - don’t you fucking dare Ben. “ Phil warns him coldly. “ Don’t you dare do the pity party with me. You are the cause of them being kidnapped! Whatever happens to them you are responsible and I don’t think I could ever forgive you if something happens to Lexi or flippin’ Callum. “ 

“ you - you care about Callum? “ Ben repeats, something bursts in his chest. Does his dad finally accept him? 

“ You’re seriously asking me that, now? When your daughter and boyfriend are in the hands of a dangerous man? “

Ben doesn’t answer, just feels so stupid and ashamed. 

Phil walks over to the table getting his keys and phone. He walks past Ben whilst talking.   
“ Come on before we’re too late.” 

The drive is silent, only the judgement glances from Phil with the adding huffing and sighing. Ben can’t stop his leg bouncing up and down as he glances at his phone every 2 seconds. 

Till Phil breaks the silence. 

“ I do care about Callum, I’ve always liked him. Yeh he can be a bit thick sometimes and sometimes I want to cave his skull in to try to find his brain. But, I respect him. He’s a good one, a thick one, but a good one. “ 

Ben looked at his dad with his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He feels like he is accepted, it may not be much, but it means so much to Ben. 

“ thank you dad. “ 

“ hmm. Don’t push it. “ Phil grumbles, and with a rare sight. He ghostly smiles at Ben.   
“ I wouldn’t be surprised if he left you after this or Lola takes Lexi from ya, your really testing the people who love you Ben. “ 

“ I know. “ He whispers. He just hopes he’ll be forgiven and he’ll have both of them back and safe with him. 

-/- 

“ ah you’re early! “ The man cheers, in a fake happy tone.   
“ You’ll have to wait 10 minutes I’m afraid. “ 

“ why? “ Phil answers him. 

The man shrugs, with a smirk on his face. He doesn’t answer Phil, instead looking at Ben. “ Your daughter is quite the chatty box, Ben. “ 

A dark shadow rushes through his face and launches himself to the man only to have Phil roughly pull him back. 

“ Don’t you even dare talk about her! If you’ve hurt ya I’ll kill ya! “ 

The man laughs. “ I’ve done nowt, like I said on the phone call. You’re boyfriend has been taking the beatings. “

“ We’ve got the money. “ Phil informs him. “ just give us them and we’ll leave. “ 

The man winces, looking at his watch. “ 5 minutes to go. “ 

“ Fucking hell just -“ 

“ Ah that’s what Callum said, just before one of my mates walloped him one. “ the man sighs heavily, disappointed.   
“ You two aren’t exactly a barrel of laughs are ya? “ 

“ what do you expect? You’ve -“ 

The man groans in annoyance.   
“ yes I’ve kidnapped them, what do you expect? You struggle to pay me, I take what’s precious to ya and I get paid in full. “ 

“ your sick. “ 

“ hmm, at least I’m not a murderer Ben. “ The man bites back, before clasping his hands together and walking towards the two Mitchell’s. He takes the paper bag of money off Phill and suspects. “ Bring Lexi out. “ he calls out. 

and then all they hear is running and the shout of daddy! 

Lexi runs to her dad, obviously distressed and he picks her up and holds her close. He kisses her forehead, holding his princess so tight like his life does depend on it. 

“ where’s Callum? “ Phil asks. 

“ We’re bringing him out now. “ the man grins, mischievously. 

and they do bring him out. By the arms. Ben passes his daughter to his dad and runs towards his boyfriend. He falls to his knees, skids to Callum’s unconsciousness frame. 

Ben shakes Callum’s broken body, seeing his own tears drop onto Callum’s face. The memories of Paul come back again and that sickening emotion hits him 100 times harder. 

“ he ain’t dead. “ 

“ He fucking looks it! “ Ben’s voice breaks. “ Cal, Callum wake up! Please, baby, wake up I’m here! “ he sobs. 

“ aw isn’t that sweet, nicknames ‘and all! “ The man smiles nastily, he gestured for his guards to follow him. “ You never mess with me Mitchell. “Before walking out, leaving the mayhem to unfold. 

“ Mmm. “ Callum groans, in agony. Ben gasps with relief. 

“ cal, it’s alright, it’s Ben. “ 

“ What’s ‘rong with him? “ Lexi asks her granddad quietly. 

“ he’s just - tired. “ Phil weakly lies, before taking her outside to not distress her even more. 

“ Cal no, no don’t fall back to sleep on me. “ Ben pleads, shaking him again. Callum’s eyes look so exhausted and heavy, it looks like it’s taking everything out of him to just keep them open. 

“ m’so tired. “ He whispers. 

“ You can sleep for ages when we get home, I just need to take ya to the hospital. “ 

“ Mmm. “ Callum hums in his throat, his eyes already closed. He feels like he is slipping away, he feels Ben’s distant shouts and shakes of his body but at the same time he doesn’t.   
“ love you Ben Mitchell. “ Highway tells him, barely a whisper. 

“ n’no don’t say it like that Cal, don’t you dare say it like that! “ Ben cries, distressed. “ Don’t leave me, please don’t I need ya, both of us need ya. “ he rocks Callum’s body close to his chest feeling his boyfriend go limp. 

And that’s when his whole world collapses into millions of pieces. 

-/- 

“ You can see him now. “ The Doctor smiles kindly, letting Ben into Callum’s room. He breathes out a breathe he didn’t know he was holding. Callum is awake. 

“ God Cal I was so - worried. “ Ben breaks down again, he sits on the edge of the hospital bed as close as possible to him. Callum tuts fondly, wrapping his arms around the other man and gently hugging him. 

“ I’m fine. “ Callum soothes, rubbing Ben’s back. 

“ I - I’m so so so sorry Callum. “ 

“ This wasn’t your fault. “ Calum knows. “ You didn’t mean for us to be kidnapped. “ 

Ben pulls away from him he can’t believe this man is this forgiving. “ But - but cal he beat ya! Look at ya! “ 

“ I’ll live. “ 

“ you barely survived! “ 

Callum looks at his boyfriend dead in the eye. “ Ben I am fine, you didn’t mean for us to get kidnapped. I knew what I was letting myself into when I wanted us together. “ He said truthfully, holding Ben’s hand as he subconsciously played with his fingers. “ i knew you would do dodgy deals and all that, I don’t hate ya. “ 

“ You should. You should run a mile from me. “ 

Callum shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips. “ no can do I’m afraid, you’ve marked me Mitchell and you’ll never leave me. “ 

“ What did I ever do to deserve you? “ Ben asked quietly, he really doesn’t deserve this man. 

“ you didn’t do anything Ben. You deserve happiness. “ 

“ I’m going to stop the dodgy deals. “ 

“ don’t stop because of me Ben.” Callum told him, shifting on the bed. 

Ben shortly nods his head, to himself. “ I don’t ever want to go through this again. I felt like I died when Lexi went missing and found out you were too. “ 

“ I’ll support ya, no matter how much you annoy me. “ Callum joked. Ben didn’t comment, opting to just hug him being mindful of the injuries. 

-/- 

Callum is discharged from the hospital and Ben drove him back home to Ben’s mums house. Callum hugged the life out of Lexi when he spotted her on the sofa. She cried seeing his injuries ( and they were horrific ) but she calmed down, after Callum told her that he is fine. 

Ben helped him up the stairs, later on. He checked on Lexi again, before popping back into his bedroom. He smiled to himself seeing Callum sleep peacefully, Ben quietly got into bed and lay beside him. He traced the bruises and cuts on his boyfriends face. He felt so guilty, he will do anything to make Callum feel better. 

He’ll never put his family into danger again. 

“ I’m awake you know. “ Callum spoke out into the silence, letting Ben carry on touching him. He can barely see Ben, two of his eyes are massively swollen. 

“ I can see that. “ Ben whispered. “ I’m glad you’re alive. “ 

“ me too. “ Callum slowly reached for Ben’s hand to hold it. “ I’m glad I’m here with you and Lexi again. “ 

“ I wouldn’t have stopped searching for you if he didn’t tell me where you were, you know. “ Ben confessed. “ I was like a madman possessed. “ 

“ the usual then. “ Callum joked weakly. 

“ How do you always do that? “ 

“ what? “ 

“ make me smile or laugh when I’m down? “ 

“ Cos I’m a joke aren’t I? “ 

“ Don’t say that. “ 

Callum closed his eyes, fully shut. “ I wouldn’t ever let anyone hurt lex you know? “ he admitted, changing the topic. “ I fought them but I think I made her more scared. “ 

“ you didn’t do anything wrong Cal. You were protecting my little girl. “ 

“ I love her as much as I do you.” 

“ I can see it whenever your with her, or talk about her. You get that twinkle in your eye. “ 

“ she’s a right character. “ 

They were interrupted with a knock to their door. “ Yeh? “ 

The door slowly opened and Lexi came in looking vulnerable. 

“ What’s wrong? “ Ben got off the bed to crouch down to his daughter. 

“ can I sleep in your bed? I’m scared I might get taken again. “ She told him quietly. 

“ Yeh of course. “ he smiled, picking her up to place her in the bed. She held her teddy to her chest and hugged Callum who wrapped his free arm around her. 

“ I’m happy your safe Callum. “ 

“ me too princess. “ Callum whispered. Ben stroked his fingers through Lexis hair contently. 

“ Callum’s safe now, he’ll get better won’t you. “ He pointed at Callum who nodded. 

“ nothing can get rid of me. “ 

“ Well expect bugs. “ Ben piped in. 

“ And wasps! “ Lexi shouted. 

“ Spiders too! “ 

“ yeh alright. I don’t need two Mitchell’s ganging up on me do I? “ Callum defended himself. 

“ Hmm. Come on, let’s go to sleep. “ Ben sighed, noticing Lexie’s eyes become heavy. He lay back down with Lexi cuddled up to him and Callum too, the three of them huddled together and went to sleep. 

( and if Lola checked on them and took a photo of them three with a soft smile. Who needs to know? ) 

( okay maybe she sent it to Ben because it was adorable).


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #6

Ben smirked casting his eyes at the beautiful wet form in front of him. Who didn’t have a clue he was there. 

“ Well well well isn’t this a lovely surprise? “ Ben tilted his head to the side, biting his bottom lip. He held back the laugh when Callum jumped like a cat to face Ben. He looked horrified, gripping the towel around his hips tighter. 

“ h-how you get in here? “ Callum stuttered, still in shock, quite surprised he hasn’t had a heart attack. 

“ I let myself in. “ Ben said casually. 

Callum frowned, a unsettling feeling washing over him. “ the door was locked. “ 

“ yeh I know. “ 

“... you broke in? ....“ Callum still needed to process this information. He can’t believe Ben had broken in, a little strange to be honest with you. 

Ben sighed heavily, now moving his head in a straight line to face Callum with a bored look. “ yes Callum. It wasn’t that hard to be honest, you should get a lock that needs a bit more of a budging! “ 

“ How - how many times have you just - let yourself in? “ and now Callum is genuinely curious. 

“ Loads. I sometimes sneak in when your sleeping and sit there watching ya. “ As weird as this conversation was, Ben looked and sounded so normal. He even had this cute little soft look on him. Ben smirked more as Callum’s face changed to look more disturbed. “ You shouldn’t be sleeping with your mouth open Cal, you’ll wake up with an aching throat in the morning. “ 

Callum can’t believe how caring Ben sounds. All he was doin’ was having a shower and about to order a takeaway, but now he’s chatting with Ben. Who let himself in and finding out he watches him - sleep...?

“ there’s always water on my bedside table. “ The confusion still plastered in Callum’s voice. 

“ yeh I know, I always put a glass full of water there! “ Ben explained. “ I tuck you in a bit more when the covers have slid off the bed, I tidy your flat - because cal it’s a pigstie! “ Ben gestured to the messy living room. Callum moved his body slowly to see Ben’s explication. And Yes - the room is messy he’s got to admit. 

“ What - what do you actually do when your here? “ Callum still hasn’t moved from standing opposite Ben, only half realising he’s dripping wet and there’s a puddle surrounding his feet. 

Callum hasn’t ever seem Ben blush before. Till now, he has this sweet embarrassed smile on his face. God. If Callum wasn’t already in love with him - he definitely is now. “ Talk to ya getting things off my chest, trace different shapes on your body, gently kiss ya, tidy your flat and stuff. “ 

“ and then you leave? “ 

“ yes. “ 

“ you know any sane person would ask to see them? “ 

“ well I ain’t sane I’m I? “ 

Callum’s lips curl into a smirk.   
“ that’s what makes you unique. “ 

Ben chuckles at that comment.   
“ sometimes I just want be in your company. “ Ben awkwardly shrugs. 

“ Aww! “ Callum mocks, with a teasing smile. “ Ben Mitchell being a softie! “ 

“ shut your face. “ Ben replies back, without any heat in his words. 

Callum laughs before shrugging himself. “ well you can stay here if you want. We can have a takeaway and watch a movie? “ 

Callum can see Ben’s eyes lightening up and has a soft smile there. “ Sounds perfect. “ 

“ I’ll just get changed. -“ 

“ nah I’ll much prefer you like this. Nice and wet. “ 

“ Perve. “ 

“ You love it though. “ 

“ hmm. “ good that I love you then isn’t it? Went unsaid. Callum walked to his bedroom blushing when Ben made an impressive whistle looking at Callum’s plump arse. 

Callum ordered the takeaway - Dominos and it was the full works - and they sat half slumped on the settee. They both were watching some random movie that Callum found and it was the best time. They ate the food, drank beers, occasionally brushed their hands together till the point where they were practically inter-whined with each other. 

Callum fell asleep first, on Ben’s chest. Ben was too busy talking and eating when he finally realised Callum had been quiet. He smiled softly, he ran his fingers through the messy darker brunette hair and let himself relax even more. 

He wants more of this, them, together. 

Ben actually sees a future with Callum, Lexi calling Callum Dad, Lexi having loads of brothers and sisters in a nice house. 

Himself and Callum married. 

Ben wants the full works - he just hopes Callum feels the same. 

/-/ 

A few weeks later Callum has nearly forgotten about Ben breaking and entering his home. Till, one night he wants to wonder if Ben is still doing it.   
So he stays up and god it is painful because he’s so tired that he is nearly drifting off. 

When Callum feels his head looping forward the noise of the lock being unlocked awakens him. He sits up a little straighter and strains to hear any more movement. 

Callum sees Ben creep in quietly and god he looks dead fit, even in the early hours of the morning. In the dark Callum can still see Ben’s beautiful face, full of concentration and something else that he can’t put his finger on. 

Ben walks into Callum’s room quietly expects to see his lover laying in bed asleep. But no. He isn’t, the bed is empty. Ben frowns, he knew Callum went home after their date ( would you call it a date? A hangout with someone you love? )

Ben walks back into the living room looking around the dark room not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Only -

“ I’m here if your wondering. “ 

Ben gasps loudly and jumps out of his skin. “ Fucking hell! “ 

“ serves you right for sneaking into peoples homes. “ Callum deadpans. He switches the light on and Ben is clutching his chest still. 

“ you could’ve given me a heart attack! “ 

“ and your being a stalker again! You only saw me 3 hours ago! “ 

“ I only missed ya! It’s like a routine now! “ Ben accidentally blurts out. 

Callum smirks. “ a routine? “ he pretends he’s writing down on his palm of his hand. “ On a Monday I break into Cals flat at 2 ‘o’ clock in the morning. On a Tuesday I meet up -“

“ yeh alright. “ Ben brushes his sarcasm off. 

Callum lets his arms fall to either side and stands awkwardly. Ben copies the position too. 

“ Soo. “ 

“ soo. “ 

“ You want to go to bed with me? “ 

“ to do what? “ 

“ sleep Ben. “ Callum pointedly states. 

“ I’ve got a bed at mums. “ 

“ just offering. If you miss me so much. “ Callum says softly, this time without any teasing. Ben nods gently. 

“ okay. “ 

Ben gets dressed into just his briefs and Callum too. They get into bed and Callum suddenly becomes in charge, taking Ben into his side and wrapping his long arms around Ben’s waist. Ben rests his head on Callum’s chest, tucking himself further into Callum. Feeling himself fall deeper in love, with his heart clench more and doubles in size. 

“ I love you. “ Ben murmurs, doesn’t mean to say it but it just comes out. 

“ I love you too. “ Ben feels Callum press a kiss on top of Ben’s head. They hug each there tighter before falling asleep in each other’s embrace. 

Both of them feeling their hearts are doubling in size.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments, for the likes and reading. I do appreciate it hugely because I know people like what I write and it pleases me because I know I mean something. That I actually bring a smile ( or whatever) or make someone pleased with my fics.   
:)


	7. You are breaking my heart without even knowing it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #7 - Callum goes to the honeymoon after the wedding - that did not happen - he takes Chris with him. Ben isn’t too pleased and they have a passionate confession with Callum confused and conflicted about his thoughts along the way. 
> 
> Will Ben and Callum finally have their happy after ever or will they remain friends and their hearts marked for one and another?

Callum walked to the front door of his flat ( he can’t believe it’s his flat now - Whitney now gone. He felt ashamed he still has it ), and opened it after the multiple of knocks. 

Callum stood there surprised to see Ben there, still in that beautiful burgundy suit. Callum was looking at Ben the whole time, he wished he was marrying him - till Callum called it off. At the alter no doubt. 

“ B-Ben? Why you ‘ere for? “ He wasn’t expecting to even have any interaction with the other man now. Since Callum revealed that he loves another man in front of everyone - he’d thought Ben would run a mile by now. 

Ben clocked his head to the side. “ you ain’t letting me in first? “ 

As if it just dawned on him, that they were still standing with the door wide open. Callum let his lover in, Ben ( deliberately ) brushed his hand past Callum’s as he took in the surrounds and frowned. 

“ You running off? “ Ben commented, seeing the scattered clothes and accessories with a suit and other bag. Callum thought for a moment he heard panic in the other man’s voice but he brushed it away. Like when Whitney flung their wedding cake at him ( and god that girl has some strength- the cake felt like a ton of bricks than a cake ). 

Callum didn’t respond for a short moment, he instead walked to the half full suitcase and started to carry on packing.   
“ I’ve got a honeymoon still, unfortunately. “ 

“ ain’t it refundable? “ 

“ no. “ Callum folded his t-shirt before placing it into its new home. 

Ben chuckled knowing what Callum has told him. He can see straight through Callum, very transparent. “ Can’t believe you made a ‘oliday and didn’t check if you could get your money back. “ he said, with a bit of judgmental in his words. 

Callum sighed heavily, knowing Ben is right. He zipped up his suitcase and his other bag before standing up fully and placing his hands on his hips. 

“ yes I know I’ve been a bit stupid -“ 

“ -understatement of the year- “ 

Callum shot him a pointed look.   
“ but I get a holiday out of this mayhem so you lose some, you gain some. “ he hollowly stated.

“ A holiday that probably costed loads and going by yourself, drinking your body weight in alcohol? Yeh, sounds perfect mate. “ 

“ I ain’t going by myself. “ Callum informed him. “ I’m taking Chris. “ 

Ben’s face shifted, he felt his insides churning at another man’s name coming out of Callum’s mouth. It should be him. 

“ Chris? The Chris from the army that you apparently loved? “ he wants to be sick, he can’t let Callum go on holiday with a man that he loves ( or loved ). 

Callum nodded his head, he started walking to the kitchen to go into the fridge and got out a beer to calm his nerves. 

“ yeh. “ before taking a swig. 

“ Why didn’t you not ask me? “ Ben replied, before he even thought about it. If there was a hint of hurt in there - he could easily deny it. 

Callum frowned at him. “ You have a daughter Ben, you can’t just fuck off into the sunset for 3 weeks without any notice. “ 

Ben winced at Callum blunt, cold words. It is true, he has a responsibility to look after another human, he can’t just leave his child in the lurch or Lola. 

“ 3 weeks with Chris? “ A bite to his words, the jealously swirling around his head and body. 

Callum frowned at him again, he gently put down his beer can and folded his arms over his chest. Ben hated to admit it to himself but, when Callum stood tall it was intimidating and made Ben feel 2 inches tall. When Callum looked angry or pissed off. 

“ yes, Ben. Why? Are you jealous? Didn’t you tell me I wasn’t allowed to be jealous when you kept bringing different types of blokes into the Vic? Or when I admitted I loved you and you said - and I quote - why would I want to get involved with a head case like you? “ Callum listed off all Ben’s failures with a stone cold tone, his eyes showing nothing but hatred but sadness too. Ben hates Callum looking at him like that, he doesn’t care if it’s anyone else, but Callum? It matters, more than he’ll ever admit. 

“ ...Cal...” 

Callum laughed, a cold laugh that made Ben shiver. “ Callum I was drunk, Callum I still love you - what I said wasn’t true. “ Callum mimicked Ben’s words.   
“ i know what you’re gonna say Ben, yeh you was drunk, but it still hurt. I know I ain’t no angel either but it just shows we could never be in a relationship. “ 

Ben bit down on his cheek, keeping himself from breaking down. 

“ I will always love you, I will miss you, but what have had - what we could have is toxic. We ain’t a good match. “ 

Ben charge forward placing his palm against Callum’s jumper and his other hand cupping Callum’s jaw. Ben blinked away the tears, trying to keep himself strong. 

“ we - we are a good match Callum, just - just give us a chance. “ Ben pleaded. 

Callum softly shook his head.   
“ We’re too broken, I’m too broken. Even if I do want us back together, to really give us a go. I’m broken, I don’t even know if I do want to jump into a relationship. “ 

“ you’re not broken. “ Ben whispered, firmly. Mitchell stared deep into Callum’s blue eyes not breaking the connection. 

Callum give him a sad smile.   
“ I am Ben, like it or not - I’m unfixable. “ 

“ We can get you help then - you can go away and clear your ‘ead. Please don’t write us off before even giving it a try. “ 

Callum didn’t respond, but Ben could tell he was thinking.   
“ Did you see everyone’s faces? All of them judging and sneering at me? I even ‘eard Mo say why did I pick a troublesome Mitchell. “ 

“ It ain’t any of her business. “ 

Callum sighed heavily, he calmly rubbed Ben’s wrist with a thumb subconsciously. “ I don’t want to be more hated Ben. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but I’ve managed to hurt three people already. All I’m worth is trouble, I ain’t worth the hassle. “ 

Every time Callum repeats that last sentence what Ben once said, he wants to punch himself in the face. He hates how Callum really thinks that, that Ben planted that seed of insecurity into his lovers head. 

“ how many times do I have to tell you, your wrong? You are worth the hassle. I will wait for you Cal, I’ve already been waiting haven’t I? “ 

“ you shouldn’t be waiting Ben. You should be meeting whoever you like without pausing your life. “ 

“ But I want you Callum! “ Ben shouted in frustration, stepping away from Callum now. “ Why can’t you understand that? I love you! You bloody airhead! “ he yelled, irritated at Callum because he ain’t getting how much Ben is in love with him. Callum felt the tug at his lips, forming a small smile. “ I love that you are kind, generous, a right idiot at times, I love that you bring a smile to my face when I’m murderous, I love you! I don’t care if you are a bit stupid sometimes, I don’t care if you aren’t like my other hookups. You are like Paul, I feel like I’ve been given a second chance. When I first met ya I knew there was something ‘bout ya, I was first attracted to you. Why can’t you just listen to me? Why can’t you understand that I love you, I’ve always had feelings for you. “ Ben’s voice lowered down, now panting slightly but he isn’t finished yet. If Callum has to be told how much Ben loves him, he is going to bloody tell him. “ Even Lexi adores you! She loves the times when you and her watch Disney movies, or playing dress up - she loves that you read to her. I love watching the two people I love bond even more, it’s made me fall deeper in love with ya. “ 

“ Who knew Ben Mitchell would be so passionate? “ Callum grinned lovingly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He pushed himself off the counter and slid his hands around Ben’s waist, their bodies touching before separating at the upper chest. “ I knew you had feeling but - I never knew they would be that strong for me. “ he told him honestly, overwhelmed. 

“ I’m not exactly good at words I’m I? Only the sarcastic ones but feelings? Not my strongest point. “ Ben replied, half shrugging with a glint in his eye.

Callum chuckled. “ you were good at expressing feelings a few weeks ago remember? “ he grinned teasingly, pushing his crotch into Ben’s. 

“ hmmm - very good at showing how grateful I am for that. “ Ben smirked, loving their little sex life banter. Callum opened mouthed kissed Ben, their tongue sliding together before pulling away and resting their foreheads together. 

“ I don’t want to leave you here. “ Callum whispered. 

“ I don’t want you to go either, but this holiday- it’ll be good for you. To clear your ‘ead - to relax. “ with that Chris prick, went unmentioned. 

“ I’m sorry for before - I shouldn’t have been so nasty. “ 

“ It’s fine Cal, you’re quite the hottie when your railed up anyway. “ 

Callum chuckled. “ Shut up. “ 

“ I’ll be waiting for ya Cal. “ Ben confidently told him, now looking deep into those puppy eyes. “ You’re all I want, I know I don’t always show it and I know I go out drinking and sleeping around. But you are what I want, what I need. “ 

“ I’ll try to be the best bloke for you, you deserve someone who is confident and proud to be who they are -“ 

“ I just want you to be confident in being gay Cal, I’m not asking ya to change your personality you muppet. “ 

Callum laughed. “ I do love you Ben. I’ve always been yours, even when I was with Whit. “ 

“ Good, I know I’m the better shag you’ll ever have. “ 

“ vein. “ 

“ Vanilla. “ 

“ Strawberry. “ 

“ Strawberry?! “ Ben repeated confusion lacing his face. 

“ Yeh. You’re sweet and sour and big and strong. “ 

“ pfft wow. “ Ben scoffed again.   
“ that makes you a banana then. “ 

“ why’s that? “ Callum tilted his head, playfully. 

“ Because you’re long and tall and hard. For me. “ 

Ben smiled even more when Callum laughed harder.   
Before he looked at his watch and huffed out a long sigh. 

“ I need to leave, the planes at 6. “ 

And then they were hit with reality. Ben looked down again, sad that he has to say goodbye. 

“ I wish you and lex were coming. “ Callum admitted. Even when he just told the whole square he’s cheated. 

“ me too. But we have loads of time to plan a holiday don’t we? “ Ben grinned, before it slowly left his face. “ if you want that. “ 

“ Yeh I do. Just need to sort out my head don’t I? “ Callum confessed sadly. He reached for his flat keys handing them to Ben. “ you can have these when you get all moppy when missing me, or when you get murderous again. “ 

“ yeh I’ll be able to sniff your clothes now won’t I? Remembering you -“ 

“ Aww Ben! “ Callum heaved. 

“ What it’s true?! I could even sleep in your bed pretending I’m sleeping next to you ! “ Ben explained, basically telling the truth. Callum’s face softened. 

“ Aw you’re such a softie, you wouldn’t thought of that with your act of cockiness. “ Callum joked cheekily. 

Ben playfully pushed Callum into the counter, leaning against him fully, whilst he softly sucked and kissed Callum’s neck.   
“ if you carry on with any of that lip you ain’t getting any at all, when you come back! “ 

“ Mm’no don’t think so, I know you can’t resist me. “ 

“ well it’s good that I’m very fond of you then isn’t it? “ Ben murmured, placing another multiple of kisses to Callum’s neck. 

Callum moaned, running his hands under Ben’s blazer and then into his briefs taking a genius handful of Ben’s bum. 

“ I need to go Ben. I’m gonna be late. “ Callum half moaned, half whined. 

A strangling noise came from Ben’s throat, that sounded like a whine of stubbornness, desperate for sex and disappointment. 

“ I love you Cal, even if you don’t pick me - I’ll always be there for you. “ Ben looked at Callum again, his voice firm with seriousness. But there was something strange in his voice, like he didn’t sound like Ben for a minute. 

Callum nodded his head, his heart feels heavy that he is leaving. He’s only going for 3 weeks but - it seems forever. 

“ I’m gonna miss ya. “ 

They stared longingly again before laughing at the now awkwardness. 

“ I’ll best popping off then. “ 

Ben swayed his body to the side scrunching his face up. “ do you really have to say that?! We’re on top of dead people! “ 

Callum laughed, whilst getting his belongings. “ But Ben you love going on top! “ 

“ prefer them alive thanks, and their name starting with a certain C. “ 

“ what? Conner? “ Callum played dumb. 

“ such an airhead. “ 

“ hmm. “ Callum walked to the front door with his bag resting on the back of his back, his hand holding onto the straps as his other holding the slightly heavy suitcase. “ When I come back, you better not be in prison or in some major dodgy shit Ben. “ 

“ I try my best love. “ 

Callum chuckled at Ben’s fake soft posh tone. “ See ya. “ 

“ see ya. “ Ben said quietly, and heard the door shut quietly. He stood there in the silence no longer in Callum’s presence.   
He walked to the kitchen to get himself a beer when the door opened again. Callum rushing in, Ben frowned. 

“ forgot my phone. “

“ idiot! “ Ben called out and all he heard was a distant laugh. 

He really is going miss Callum. 

-/- 

After cleaning Callum’s flat ( he missed him already and it’d only been 3 hours. He felt closer to Callum some how - it made him feel calmer too ). He unlocked his phone to read Callum’s latest message. 

Cal - Morocco here we come!!! 

Ben smiled to himself, he could actually hear Callum saying that in his head. What a cutie. 

Ben - Have a safe flight Cal. You better be drinking for me too! 

Ben didn’t get any more texts since his last reply, guessing Callum quickly typed it out and then had to put his phone on plane mode. 

He locked Callum’s flat and walked back home, ready to see his daughter and try to act cheerful. 

Ben sat next to his daughter and stroked her head as she watched Cinderella. “ How was school today princess? “ 

“ m’good. “ She replied, whilst chewing onto her apple, not really listening to what her daddy is saying. 

“ Oh Yeh just good? “ 

Lexi nodded her head, eyes still glued to the tv. “ Yeh boring. Molly and Daisy were being naughty so they had to stand in the naughty corner for 10 minutes. “ 

“ what did they do? “ 

“ stole conners book and then he was upset because molly had it first but then Conner stole it off him. So molly and Conner were arguing and then Conner got into a strop and then molly started crying because of daisy saying they are being dramatic.” 

“ so a eventful day at school then. “ 

Lexi hummed. Ben got up from the sofa, giving his daughters hair a ruffle before helping his mum with the plates. 

“ Have you heard? “ Kathy told her son, her back turned from him as she washed the dishes. 

“ heard what? “ Ben was tiny bit hesitant, but played it off. 

“ Callum has left, still gone on that honeymoon. “ Kathy explained. “ poor girl, left heartbroken at the alter. I never knew Callum would be so nasty -“ the bitterness lacing her voice, as Ben tried to keep his cool. “ - I mean why is it so hard for him to admit he was gay? “ 

“ it was the same with me mum isn’t it? “ Ben flung down the kitchen towel on the counter, no longer able enough to hold the anger in. “ I struggled with my sexuality because I didn’t want to disappoint dad, it wrecked me too! And Callum is no different, he has two homophobes as relatives! “ 

Kathy stopped wiping the dirty plate to look at her son, her face full of guilt. “ I didn’t know, I knew Stuart can be bit of a -“ 

“ -prick-“ Ben helped her to choose the wording and he has plenty of words to help her to describe Stuart Highway. 

She sighed and looked guilty.   
“ But I thought Stuart would somehow understand? “ 

Ben laughed at her stupidity.   
“ Stuart? Understand? He beat me up at pride mum -“ 

“ you never told me that! “ Kathy interjected 

“ I didn’t want to upset you mum. But Stuart is a right nasty person, he wouldn’t ever support cal over his sexuality. Anything but straight, even if he did I wouldn’t trust him one bit. “ 

“ Oh what a poor lad. “ Kathy sighed sad. “ He must be so upset. “ 

Ben hummed. “ That’s why he’s gone away, mum. He needs to clear his head out. “ 

Kathy paused, frowning at him. “ wait, you know? “ 

Ben stilled, he let it slip. “ yeh - I’m his mate aren’t I? “ he covered. 

“ well he needs friends at this time doesn’t he? “ 

Yeh just has to be Chris with him. 

-/- 

Callum took a long gulp of his beer as he stared out at the blue sea in front of him. The scorching sun beaming down on him, as he lay on the sun bed. 

This is relaxing to the maximum. Where the sun can make him feel warm, for his skin to absorb the vitamin D, for him to let his mind wonder. He has been in Morocco for 2 days already, since then he has been drinking and laying at the beach. Chris has helped him a lot, letting him vent out his emotions and feelings. He helped Callum when he drank away his problems and nearly suffocated himself in his sleep - Chris has helped him. 

“ So we gonna talk about Ben or just gonna carry on ignoring it? “ Chris’s presence suddenly appears beside Callum, who deflates slightly. 

“ I love Ben, I hate how I’ve caused him hassle but he loves me back, more than I thought. “ Callum explained, not looking up from the half empty beer glass.   
Chris nodded, listening. “ When he was around me I felt like I could battle the world, I felt so happy and safe. With Whit, I was lonely, I felt nothing -just empty. “ 

“ why’s that? “ Chris pushed on. 

“ thinking now, I didn’t love her, well wasn’t in love, i liked her. But -“ Callum groaned in frustration, incapable of forming the words to sentences to making sense of his feelings. “ With Ben, we can laugh, we can change from topic to topic, our relationship is just passionate, intense, pure love, the sex is good. “ he chuckled at the end. “ with Whit -“ he sighed. “ It’s nothing. We can talk, the sex is alright - normal to standard. It’s just nothing more, it’s not passionate -“ 

“ you’re basically calling her dull and boring. “ Chris told him bluntly. 

“ She ain’t - but for me yeh. Ben is amazing, yeh he can be cocky, sarcastic and a right pain in the arse but I love him for it. “ A smile spreads to his face. “ he’s got all these different layers to him, like when you’ve discovered a cake and at first you think oh this is nice, then you dig in more and it has a triple chocolate in it and it surprised you because you wasn’t expecting to find something new about it. So every dig you make in this cake is like Ben, loads of layers. With Whit, she’s just a cake with no flavouring. Just a cake. “ 

“ Hope you didn’t say that to her face mate. “ 

“ No of course not. “ Callum shook his head. “ I just told her the truth, at the Vic cos I texted her. I said that I’m gay and I’m in love with someone else. “ 

“ What did she do then? “ 

“ throw the wedding cake at me. “ 

Chris laughed loudly. “ why didn’t you not go to the flat though? “ 

Callum sighed. “ I did, Bianca and tiff wouldn’t let me see her so I told her to come to the Vic. “ 

“ was she okay in the end? “ 

Callum shrugged. “ She was hurt, she has a right to be, but yeh. She was bitterly happy that I could be myself now - after ruining her life. “ 

“ she said that? “ 

“ not in those exact words, but I knew she thought it. “ Callum nodded. “ all I need is to clear my head, to have a good time and just be comfortable in my own skin. “ 

“ but do you really want to jump straight into another relationship? With a man no doubt, you haven’t even investigated into your sexuality, you’ve only ever had me and Ben. Two blokes and a girlfriend. “ 

Callum rubbed his face with his hands. “ Ohh I don’t know what to do! “ 

Chris reached over and rubbed Callum’s shoulder in pity. “ What did you tell Ben when you left?” 

“ that I’ll miss him, I do love him but I’m unfixable and broken. Ben said he’ll always support me if I don’t pick him, he’ll always be my mate. I’ve made such a mess out of everything and hurt everyone, fucked up my mental health, I don’t have a clue what to do. If I be with Ben I’ll be happy you know? But i also want do go out and have flings to build my confidence, to make me feel more proud of being gay. “ 

“ I don’t know what to say mate. “ Chris sighed, he doesn’t have a clue on how to help his mate with his dilemma. 

“ thanks Chris, thanks for your bloody help! “ 

“ your welcome, mate. “ 

-/- 

Jay shoot his brother eyes for the millionth time since this late evening. “ Have you got an admire or something? “ jay pointedly said, his eyes narrowing when Ben looked up from his phone with the smile still present on his face. 

“ what? “ 

“ have you got an admire? “ 

“...no..” 

“ Yeh you have! “ Jay playfully smacked Ben’s arm. “ come on who is it? “ 

Ben just desperately wants to tell him, to tell him it’s Callum but he can’t break his trust.   
“ Never you mind. “ he grumbled. 

“ it’s someone I know isn’t it? “ Jay explained, with bit of a exaggeration. “ is it Billy? “ he joked. 

Ben’s face scrunched up disgusted. “ Not in a thousand years mate. “ 

“ but it is someone I know isn’t it? “ 

Ben sighed, leaning his head on the leather back of the seat in the E20. “ Yeh. “ 

“ is it Callum? “ 

Ben’s eyes shot open fucking amazed that jay guessed so correctly. 

“ How long for? Your the bloke he’s in love with isn’t he?! “ 

Ben genuinely doesn’t have the ability to speak. How does jay know all this?

“ oh come on! You think I’m thick? “ jay shook his head in disbelief. “ I knew something was between you both for ages, your little looks and smirks. One of u’s rushing off then 3 minutes later the other follows, 20 minutes later you’re both flushed and glowed with messy hair. “ he listed off. 

Ben shrugged, making a gesture with his hands and half opened his mouth. “ mate I don’t know what you want me to say. “ 

“ the truth! “ 

“ yeh your right. “ 

“ and!? “ 

“ me and cal are shagging and deeply in love. “ 

Jay huffed annoyed. “ Be serious. “ 

“ what I am! “ Ben defended and was offended that his brother didn’t believe him.   
“ We kissed at pride, well more than a kiss on the table -“ 

“ - Fast motion along -“ 

“ - and we’ve had our bumps in the road, but we’ve gotten closer. Cal was still in denial, till he blown it off, telling Whit, and went on the honeymoon with his mate Chris. “ Ben explained all bluntly, without any heat in the words. 

“ Chris? Who’s that? “ 

“ an army mate. “ Ben didn’t want to add more information on that. 

“ Is Callum officially gay then? “ 

Ben nodded. “ Yeh, but he’s still struggling. He told me he’s unfixable and broken, he wants to be with me but he doesn’t want to jump into an relationship just yet. “ 

Jay hummed. “ Yeh, too early it is. He needs to discover his inner gay. “ 

Ben sighed, ignoring jays comment. “ I want to be with him. But I’m gonna wait, I’m gonna support him even if he ain’t ready to be in a relationship. “ 

“ proud of you brov, so being so mature. You really care for him don’t you? “ Jay can see the affection in Ben’s eyes. He nodded his head. 

“ I love him jay, but you can’t tell anyone okay? I can’t break his trust. “ 

“ I won’t. “ 

“ I’m gonna be always be there for him, show him I care and I’ll get him to come back to me. “ Ben determination lacing his words. He will win Callum around. 

-/- 

Late at night, Ben lay awake not tired. Callum has been gone for 2 weeks and 6 days now, he is missing him tremendously. Callum has been sending him loads of photos and videos, of him and some of Chris. Ben has saved all of them, whenever he has time ( there’s always time when it comes to Callum ), Ben gazes at Callum’s face. 

He has a beautiful bronze tan, his hair has highlighted to a capital T - he looks like a model. Ben hasn’t ever been so attracted to man where he was supporting a hard on through out the day. He can’t wait for Callum to come home. 

/-/ 

Callum dropped to the sofa in exhaustion after the long flight. The door was open anyway, he really couldn’t be bothered making himself known. He knew Ben was in the shower because he was singling loudly, Callum loved it. When Ben was carefree when he thinks no one is here. 

Callum hears the shower being turned off, he waits patiently for Ben. Only - Ben walks into the living room and doesn’t notice Callum at all. Instead, Callum has time to take in the beauty of Ben Mitchell, the slightly toned body, his gorgeous bum in the damp towel with water droplets running down his body. 

“ hiya. “ Callum says, Ben doesn’t turn around. Callum says it again and it dawns on him. 

Ben doesn’t have his hearing aids in. Shit. Fuck. You stupid Halfway prick. 

Callum doesn’t sneak up to Ben, but he is so bloody awkward and hesitant that he places his hand on Ben’s shoulder and winces. When Ben gasps loudly and jumps like a cat. He spins around with his hand clutching his chest struggling to bloody breathe. 

And what does Callum do? 

Waves awkwardly. He waves at Ben like he didn’t just cause him to have a mini heart attack. 

He deserves the slap across the face. 

Ben rushes out the living room to get his hearing aids before coming back out again angry. 

“ What the fuck are you playing at! “ 

“ I wanted to surprise you! “ Callum defended, guilty and now embarrassed. 

“ Well you did good job at that! “ 

“ sorry. “ 

“ yeh you should be sorry! I thought I had a heart attack! You know how scared I was for a minute?! Deaf and all I felt was a hand on me! “ Ben’s voice wavered, still in complete shock. 

“ I didn’t mean to scare you! I wanted to surprise you I didn’t know you’ll take them out! “ 

Ben sighed, can’t be bothered with the fight anymore. Is it even a fight? “ you could’ve told me you’re coming home. “ 

Callum frowned. “ I did? “ 

Ben’s face was a copy of Callum’s. He got his phone and sighed heavily, seeing the messages. 

“ See. “ 

“ yeh alright Sherlock. “ 

“ You not happy to see me? “ Callum asked, hint of sadness present. 

“ of course I am you muppet. Look at ya! You look like a right model. “ 

Callum flushed pink. “ you don’t look so bad yourself. “ he smirked, with his eyes trailing up and down Ben’s still wet body. 

“ have you decided then? “ Ben asked the million pound question. 

Callum nodded his head.   
“ yeh I’m - I’m not ready to jump into another relationship-“ he saw the smile slide off Ben’s face, the way his eyes lose their twinkle. “ - it’s not that I don’t want you ! I do, but it’s too soon - everyone will think I’m more of a prick if I keep someone’s bed warm. “ 

Ben sighed. “ you ain’t getting someone’s bed warm, you’re keeping my cock warm when it’s lonely for some Callum Highway action. “ 

“ fucks sake. “ Callum laughed at Ben’s response. 

He smirked before looking serious. “ so what you gonna do then? “ 

“ I’m gonna be proud of me sexuality, embrace it, i need mates around me. I want to build my confidence more, you know what I mean? “ 

“ yeh, yeh i do. I’m proud of ya cal. Honestly. “ Ben walked up to Callum and hugged him, tighter than necessary. Before pulling away to go back into the bedroom to get changed. And if he let himself cry softly - nobody has to know. 

-/- 

Jay, Ben and Callum are sitting in the Vic having a round of pints, enjoying each other’s company and the banter of what Callum did in Morocco. Till, Stuart came along - face full of anger. 

“ oi, You ain’t allowed in ‘ere! “ Mick shouted across from the bar. 

Stuart ignored mick and instead starring down at his little brother who looked like he was about to bolt. From the stone cold stare. 

“ You’re a puff? “ Stuart hissed out the word, disgusted. 

“ don’t say that -“ Jay piped up, his eyes flooding with disgust. 

“ I’m gay yeh. “ Callum responded, intimately.   
Ben could feel Callum become smaller, under his brother’s gaze. 

“ he’s -“ Stuart pointed to Ben. “ he’s changed ya hasn’t he? Why did you go leave Whitney for? She’s perfect. “ 

“ Stu I’m gay, I did love her but wasn’t in love -“ 

Stuart shook his head in denial.   
“ I can’t believe I’m little brother has gone down the road with fairies. “ 

“ that’s it -“ Ben roughly pushed past Callum and lunched himself onto Stuart, punching him one. Nobody bullies Callum and gets away with it.   
Mick ran towards them pulling Ben off who was struggling the landlord off. 

“ You ever say anything to him again it’ll be more than a punch! “ 

Stuart laughed nastily. “ What? You gonna give me a peck on a cheek? “ 

Ben went for him again to only have Callum now hold him back. 

“ Fuck off stu, I don’t want you here. You ain’t no brother to me, as I’m concerned your dead. “ Callum gritted his teeth, his grip on Ben tightening with anger. 

Stuart’s face fell, like he’d realised what he just done. “..cal..” 

“ no fuck off. You ain’t wanted here, go back to dad where you belong. “ 

Stuart silently walked out of the pub, head hung low as Callum watched him leave. He couldn’t believe Stuart would act like that with him, he thought his big brother cared about him. Obviously not. 

Ben turned to Callum, protective of him. “ Are you okay? “ 

Callum nodded, his eyes downcast. “ yeh fine. “ 

“ Well that Stuart hasn’t ever been different son, “ Mick told him, trying to assure him. “ You’ll be glad he’s gone, waste of space he is. “ 

Callum didn’t say anything to micks comment. “ I’m just gonna head back home. “ 

“ No come on - don’t let ‘him wreck your evening. “ Ben told him softly. 

“ Err no it’s fine, feel like a early night anyway. “ He forced a smile, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. He left, heading home. 

“ I hate Stuart, right bastard he is. “ Ben growled, shooting back his whiskey.

“ yeh Halfway don’t need him. “ Mick turned his nose up, his hated for Stuart only increasing. He went back to the bar to serve a punter. 

-/- 

Callum - How do you pick up a bloke? 

Ben wasn’t expecting this random text from him. Even worse - Callum is finding someone and he can’t let that happen, but what he needs to remind himself is he needs to play along. 

Ben - You need to talk. 

Callum - Yeh? And? 

Ben - Be yourself Cal. Where u? E20? 

Callum - Yes 

Ben has never got ready so quickly. He spotted him the moment he stepped into the building. Callum looked perfect, he made a real effect to look nice and his hair wasn’t gelled. 

Ben swaggered towards him, acting casual. “ So you need help picking up a bloke? “ 

Callum sighed. “ I’m pathetic. “ 

“ no you ain’t. “ 

“ yeh I am, I’m trying to build my confidence, trying to see who I am and I can’t even speak to a bloke. “ 

“ Well Cal - you’re gonna be anxious aren’t ya? You’ve spent the past 27years in the closet. “ 

“ why do you have to be so blunt? “ 

“ one of my charms. “ 

“ Smug git. “ Callum grinned. 

Ben’s eyes went from Callum to this bloke walking closer to them. “ Well, well, well who do we have here? “ A stranger came up beside Callum, leaning against the bar. Ben felt himself tense up. 

“ hi. “ Callum smiled, not knowing how to proceed forward. 

“ Do you want to sit with me over there? Alone. “ The man pointedly said at Ben, his eyes darkening. 

Callum looked at Ben as if he needs permission. Ben forced his head to nod and forced a painful smile. Callum stood up and left, before saying bye to Ben. 

It’s been an hour now since Callum has left him, Ben was been watching them whilst sipping on his 3rd beer. Every time the man stroked Callum’s thigh he saw Callum tense up, he knew he wasn’t feeling it and was uncomfortable. But if he goes up to them both he doesn’t want to cause any hassle for Callum. 

So he carries on shooting the stranger( who dares to talk to Callum )devils. 

The man leans in to kiss Callum on the lips, unexpectedly. Callum pushes him away with all his force but the alcohol is weakening his brain function, the man is too strong for him. The panic sets in, he isn’t budging, he’s forcing himself on Callum and he can’t get away. Till he feels the heaviness fade away. 

Ben’s there pulling away the man, looking like he is about to murder him. “ You better fuck off now when you can still walk! “ 

The man scoffs, shaking his head whilst muttering something and leaves. Ben looks back at Callum who’s stunned still, the shorter man rubs his lovers shoulder bringing back to Earth with calmness. 

“ you okay? He didn’t do anything else? “ 

Callum shook his head. “ no he didn’t. “ he feels the electricity go through him when he feels Ben with him, feels it when Ben is touching him. Ben is the one he wants - needs. He doesn’t want to be mates with Ben, he wants to be with him. 

“ Callum? “ The uncertainty in Ben’s voice is visible. Callum only realises he has been too stuck in his head. 

“ can - can we go back to mine? I need to talk about us. “ 

Callum hands over a beer can for Ben when they are back at his flat. Ben was apprehensive about what Callum is about to tell him, as it much be serious because Callum isn’t his usual awkward self. 

Callum sat down opposite Ben and took a deep breath before speaking. “ what I said when I returned wasn’t completely correct.” He stopped talking for moment. “ I do want to be confident in my sexuality, I do want to embrace it but not with finding different blokes or whatever. That ain’t me - it’s just, what Chris said, and yeh I let people’s opinions get in my head again. “ he bitterly laughed, he took Ben’s hand into his own both of their hearts beating rapidly. “ what I’m tryna say is - you are what I want. I know I’ve messed you around, I thought looking for men in different nightclubs would make me a proper gay? To embrace it. When really - I just want you Ben Mitchell. You are stuck in my head and heart, I was stupid to say I wanted us to be mates or to go out tonight. “ 

“ So you want us together? “ 

“ if you’ll have me? “ 

“ I’ll always have you. But what if you change your mind again? “

“ i won’t -“

“ how do you know though?” 

“ because I love you. I thought us being mates would be easier, but I miss you too much. I want us to give it a go, I know we could be a good team if we’re together -“ 

“ we ain’t in a football team Cal. “ Ben sassily said. 

“ no I know that -“ 

Ben sighed, taking pity on him.   
“ cal, I know what you’re trying to say. I want us to be together, I want us to be boyfriends but only if you want to be. “ 

Callum nodded, feelings of excitement consuming him.   
“ I do! I do, the moments when we’re alone I love it, or the moments with Lexi, I want that - I want that officially without any hiding or being secretive. “ 

“ me too. “ Ben whispered, nearly choking up now. 

“ Soo.. that makes you my boyfriend? “ 

“ I guess so Highway. “ Ben grinned, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend. They kissed for a while before hugging, contently. 

“ You should start doing the dishes then. “ he grins cheekily. 

“ Rethinking on the boyfriend thing now. “ Ben jokily said. 

“ I can owe you back later can’t u? “ Callum trailed his finger up to Ben’s crotch and started to rub the forming semi. 

“ You better. “ He grins, before sliding onto Callum’s lap and straddling his thighs. He presses kisses to Callum’s neck and face. “ Or we can go to bed and show me your beautiful body? “ 

“ what would you like me to show ya? “ he whispers inches apart from Ben’s lips. 

Ben runs his fingers through the light brunette locks whilst the other hand lays on Callum’s chest. “ your gorgeous body. “ Ben comments, kissing Callum sloppily as he takes off his boyfriends top and pressed multiple of kisses on Callum’s chest and stomach. “ I want to see your perfect cock and I want to trail my tongue all along your beautiful freckles. “ 

“ ...Ben...” he moans loudly. 

“ I love when you moan my name baby. “ 

“ I love you. “ Highway grips his grip on Ben’s hair slightly pulling. 

“ I want you on a bed not here. “ He orders, pulling Callum up and walking them both to their bedroom. He softly pushes Callum into the bed with a smirk, taking off his own clothes and then Callum’s trousers. 

“ we’ve got a lot of catching up to do. “ Ben crawls up Callum’s body pressing kisses and kisses up to Callum’s face. 

-/- 

Ben rests his head on Callum’s flushed chest both men still panting from their intense activities. “ You’ve been practising haven’t ya? “ Ben comments impressed. 

“ Hmm well l needed to show my boyfriend what he’s been missin’ haven’t I? “ Callum smirks, pressing a kiss to Ben’s head. 

“ Well I’m impressed. “ 

“ Ben your saying it like I’ve just completed a course. “ 

“ well - if it was a Physical Course. You’ll pass. “ 

Callum chokes out a laugh.   
“ I’ve missed this. “ 

“ and I’ve missed you. “ Ben says sincerely. He lifts himself up and lays completely on Callum again. “ but right now - I want more of you. “ he bites Callum’s bottom lip, teasing him when he gets the lip between his teeth. 

“ So fucking perfect. “ Callum moans out when Ben rocks his hips against Callum’s causing friction. 

“ I know baby, but your more perfect than anything I’ve seen before. “ 

“ Funny that. “ Callum comments, feeling Ben carry on sucking his neck. “ one of the bar blokes said that to me when I was away. “ 

“ Hmm really? “ Ben cocks an eyebrow. “ Well I need to show you how perfect and flexible you are then don’t I? “ 

“ You said that once and I clicked my hip that bad I couldn’t move. “ 

“ and I kissed it better! “ Ben protests. “ and your very swollen cock didn’t I? “ 

Callum tilts his head, his eyes dark with want and need. “ You made it very better. “ 

“ I am going to fucking blow your brains out till you can’t even speak. “ Ben commanded, dominantly. 

And that’s enough to make them both cum within minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what this is.   
Thank you for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #8

Callum needed to know who is Callum Highway. What did he like, dislike, what tribes is he into, what type of men is he into. 

For the best part of 27 years Callum has kept his sexuality hidden, buried it deep in his soul before it came back to the surface. When one Ben Mitchell came along and marked him. 

Which is why Callum is in a bar, oh no, not any bar but a gay bar. Callum found one away from Walford. He needed to find new blood, new flesh to feel and taste and even take home for a night. Okay, maybe he is pushing his own limits maybe, Callum wonders as he takes a sip of his beer. But, how will he ever know what his sexuality holds if he doesn’t do some discovering? 

Callum hasn’t spoken to anyone yet. Which is a disappointment, but he is too shy, too socially awkward to speak. He wishes he had Ben’s confidence- no he needs to push Ben away.   
Ben ended it between them - quite reputedly, he hurt Callum’s feelings, he made Callum’s safe place plummet down like it was nothing. 

Like they were nothing. 

As the night goes on, Callum gets more drunk, gets more confident but he strangely likes it. The buzzing feeling running through his veins, the anxiety leaving his body for a short while. His mouth preoccupied with another man’s tongue down his throat. 

Callum grips the man’s hips tighter, ignoring Ben’s face in his mind, he pushes their bodies closer and closer till there is no gap between them.   
Callum roughly runs and tugs this man’s strawberry blonde hair, as he snogs him - he considers that yeh this is good. He feels good, this is natural and he feels wanted. 

“ Rough - harder -“ 

Callum freezes for a moment, the man sounding like Ben, when Callum opens his eyes he isn’t Ben. The dilated eyes starring back at him are a deep brown. 

Callum hungrily kisses him again, needing Ben out of his system, needing to ‘replace’ Ben from his orbit ( if not his heart ). 

“ Come back to mine. “ 

Callum finds himself saying, he knows what he is doing but isn’t thinking it through, all he knows is - he needs this man in his bed for his sexual urges. 

And when Callum stumbles into the door laughing into the man’s chest - he forgets about Ben.   
He doesn’t even notice Ben looking broken standing 30 steps away from his flat. 

And when Callum is kissing this strangers body - he doesn’t remember anything else but this moment of heat. 

-/- 

Ben walked back to his home with his head hung low, he let the vulnerability wash over him. After seeing Callum, his lover, pulled - it is a punch to the stomach. Ben hates the man who is witnessing Callum sweaty flushes body, witnessing the sounds Callum makes when he is getting satisfied. 

Ben didn’t want to end things between them. He resents Stuart even more for it, for threatening Callum and using his insecurities and a touchy topic. Paul.   
Stuart got Ben cornered, Ben hates how he defeated but Stuart is that sick in the head, he threatened to do the same to Callum like how Paul died.   
How could Ben ignore that? He knows how unpredictable Stuart is, Stuart even shot himself to blame someone else! Ben couldn’t let anything happen to Callum, even if Stuart is bluffing, Ben can’t be at Callum’s gravestone knowing it’ll be his fault. 

He just wants Callum, he wants Callum to be his - he just wants Callum because he misses him.   
-/- 

The first sensation is pain. The headache in his head is like a hammer banging away at his skull. Callum groans as he digs his head further into the puffy pillow, he opens one eye, sees the room empty. Looks like his one time fling went away before he woke up. Thank god he ain’t an axe murderer. 

With about half an hour of huffing and puffing Callum is up. He knows he looks dreadful, he knows he looks like he should belong in one of those coffins downstairs. With his baggy joggers and hoodie on, with his phone and essentials. He is out of the door, heading straight to the café. 

Callum rests his forehead on the cool table, letting the coldness numb the pain in his head.   
His mind wonders off, he swears he saw Ben last night, of him standing by one of the market stalls. But the memory feels so distant, like his brain is tricking him because he misses him so much. 

Callum sighs again, the sex was good last night, standard. It wasn’t anything like him and Ben though- no, with them it is passionate, heated and so tense. Callum just needs to fill the void of loneliness in his heart. 

“ You look rough. “ 

Callum looks up and immediately closes his eyes in annoyance. Ben. He’s relieved he’s there but - not in the mood for his snarky comments. 

“ Come on loverboy, don’t look so caught up! “ Ben mocks, bites away the memories of Callum kissing another bloke. He doesn’t know which one is worse - Callum with Whitney or Callum activity looking for men. 

“ what do you want? “ Callum’s words are muffled as his lips are nearly touching the table, the light too bright for his sensitive eyes. 

Ben smirks, leans back and links his own fingers together and places them on the table. Nearly touching Callum’s messy out grown hair. God, he wants to run his fingers through Callum’s hair. 

“ Wealth, happiness, a fit bloke - suppose you’ll do. “ 

“ I ain’t yours remember. You ended it. “ Callum says matter of factly, now sitting up straight and thanking the staff member for bringing his greasy breakfast. 

A flash of regret comes through Ben’s face as soon as it goes.   
He remains silent, for a moment before changing the topic.   
“ Why are you so rough for? Ain’t like you to get bladdered. “   
Ain’t like you to shag a random bloke - is what Ben also wanted to say. 

Callum sighs, as he cuts the cooked tomato and puts some beans onto the fork. “ wanted to go out and have some fun. “ he says, unbothered. 

Ben hums, tilts his head up slightly knowing Callum isn’t saying the whole truth. “ Didn’t meet anyone? “ he pushes, he doesn’t like being lied too. 

Callum shifts, uncomfortably.   
“ no. “ 

“ Why you lying for? “ 

“ I ain’t. “ Callum defends, but he’s losing a winning battle. 

“ I saw you with some random last night outside yours. “ 

And Callum has the audacity to shrug like it ain’t no big deal.   
“ yeh? What if I did? “ 

“ I don’t want you going out and meetin’ new men. “ 

Callum scoffs. “ you ain’t controlling me. You ended it, I’m single what do you expect me to do? Become a monk? “ 

Ben frowns. “ no. I just - what I did- I regret it. “ 

Callum takes another mouthful of food into his mouth. “ Really. “ he says, playing along like he isn’t affected by Ben’s words. But honestly- inside his heart there’s a celebration of love. But - the bitter side comes out, he can’t let himself fall back down there again because his walls around his heart have been broken. 

He can’t let himself go down that spiral of sadness again. 

Ben looked down avoiding Callum’s gaze, unable to look at the face of the man he still loves. “ Do you not love me anymore? “ he said quietly, if Callum wasn’t listening he wouldn’t of heard. Callum felt his face fell, he hates seeing Ben looking so vulnerable. 

But he can’t lie to him. 

“ I do. I still love you, don’t think I’ll ever stop. “ 

Ben slowly brought his head up in hope, his eyes glistening with relief. “ you mean that? “ 

Callum nodded his head.   
“ yeh. But what we had - it doesn’t work. It’s too toxic. “ 

“ no it -“ 

“ no Ben listen, we were sneaking around behind Whits back and even then we were too intense with each other and I punched ya. Then, when Whitney leaves and I say I love ya for the first time and you say why would you want something like me? I’m too much of a hassle? You were only playing around? “ Callum listed off, the hurt visible in his voice. 

“ I was blackmailed! “ Ben nearly shouted. 

“ what? “ Callum pushed out confused. 

He took a deep breath. “ I was blackmailed. “ he said quieter this time. 

“ by who? “ 

“ Your bald headed freak of a relative. “ 

“ Stuart? “ 

“ Do you know any other bald headed freaks Callum? “ 

“ B-but why would he blackmail you? You’re Ben Mitchell- you don’t get blackmailed. “ Callum told him, still in denial and not exactly believing it. 

Ben sighed heavily, bless Callum. “ He told me, if I dare go near ya or be in a relationship with ya he’ll get someone to end you just like how Paul died.” Ben confessed heavily. 

Callum sat there stunned. Unable to respond because that is a sick thing to say, especially about your own brother. 

“ and even if he was bluffing I couldn’t risk it Callum! I couldn’t - I wouldn’t sleep at night knowing our time would be limited and then I’ll get a phone call hearing your dead? That I’d had to stand over your gravestone? I wouldn’t handle it Cal, I wouldn’t-“ 

“ come here -“ Callum whispered, sitting next to Ben as he softly cried into Callum’s side. 

Ben clutched Callum’s hoodie tighter, unable to let go now he’s in Callum’s embrace. “ and now knowing I’ve lost you for good, ‘cause I was too scared of you dyin’. “ his voice cracked, making Callum wince at how it sounded painful. 

“ you haven’t lost me. “ 

Ben froze. “ What? “ He pulled away and properly looked at Callum with his red rimmed eyes. 

“ you haven’t lost me. “ Callum repeated, stronger this time. He held Ben’s hands. 

“ you - you mean that? You still love me and f-forgive me? “ Ben whimpered, in hope. Callum broke out into a soft dork smile. 

“ I’ll always love you Ben Mitchell, what you said hurt, I should’ve known you didn’t mean that but - you made it sound so believable I thought you meant it. “ he explained. “ and I just - self destructed and needed to replace the pain. “ 

“ I didn’t, I swear Callum on Lexie’s life I didn’t mean any of it! “ Ben pleaded, needing him to know all those words he said were lies. Nasty blunt lies, that he was forced to say. 

Callum nodded his head, rubbing Ben’s hand with his thumb comfortably. “ I believe you. “   
Ben hugged the life out of Callum, thankful he hasn’t lost him. 

“ I’m going to see Stuart though. “ Callum confessed, pulling away from Ben. 

“ why? “ 

“ I want to know what he’s thinkin’. “ 

“ I’ll come with you then. “ 

“ it just needs to be me and ‘him. “

“ I don’t want him doing anything to ya. “ Ben whispered. 

“ I’ll be fine. Promise. “ Callum assured him, pecking him unexpectedly on the lips. 

“ that mean we back on? “ Ben hesitatingly asked. 

“ only if you talk to me, even if you are blackmailed because I don’t want you saying any of that to me again. “ 

“ I won’t, I swear Cal, I never want to be away from you again. “ 

“ me too. “ Callum smiled, before turning his head and looking at his now cold breakfast. “ you owe me breakfast now. “ 

Ben grinned, leaning closer to Callum dropping his voice low.   
“ I can return my sincere apologies in your bed. 

“ best hurry up then. “ Callum flirted back, kissing Ben in the corner of the booth before holding hands and leaving. 

/-/ 

Ben couldn’t be bothered rolling off Callum after their 3rd round of sex. Instead, they lay cuddled together in sweat and flushed. But they wouldn’t ever change it any other way. 

“ Fucking hell - this is one of the things I’ve missed. “ Callum admitted, still panting slightly. 

Ben chuckled lowly, smirking against Callum’s flushed chest.   
“ Even better than your last nights fling? “ 

“ it doesn’t compare. “ 

Ben smugly smiled. “ good. “ he placed a kiss to Callum’s sweaty chest. 

“ I do regret going out last night and shagging that bloke. I was just drunk - and wanted to forget everything. “ to forget you, went unmentioned. 

“ It did hurt, not gonna lie. But we’re okay now, aren’t we? “ Ben waited for Callum to nod.   
“ So there’s nothing to worry ‘bout, we need to look into the future. “ 

“ think you might need your specs for that. “ 

“ oi cheeky! “ Ben slapped Callum’s chest. Both men chuckled again, feeling so content and domestic.

“ ugh I’m starvin’ I am. You gonna make us a bacon sarnie? “ 

“ wasn’t I enough? “ 

“ Yeh course - still doesn’t mean I don’t fancy some salty pork. “ 

-/- 

Callum knocked on his lowlifes brothers door again before it finally opened. Callum pushed past him and stared at him in anger. 

“ why did you blackmail Ben for? “ 

“ He told ya then. “ Stuart scoffed, shaking his head and slumping into the leather sofa. 

“ Ben is my boyfriend and you tell him that your gonna get someone to kill me like how Paul died? You know how fucked up that is! “ Callum shouted. “ I’m your brother! “ 

“ brov I’m not gonna apologies okay? Ben is a horrible bloke, I’m protecting ya. “ 

“ protecting me by saying to my boyfriend you’re gonna get me killed like his ex boyfriend? “ Callum bluntly said, hissing out the words like they brought a distaste to his mouth. 

Stuart shrugged, sighing and nodding his head. “ Fine, maybe I went a bit too far -“ 

“ Too far?! You shouldn’t have said anything to him in the first place! “ 

“ you -“ 

“ I don’t care Stuart. You are dead to me. I hate ya, I fucking disown you. “ Callum seethed, pointing his finger into Stuart’s direction before storming off. He completely ignored Stuart’s calls and slammed the door shut. 

Stuart Highway doesn’t even exist in Callum’s book. 

-:- 

After driving back to Walford Callum had calmed down. When he entered his flat and Ben and Lexi were there - he felt at home and everything else melted away. 

“ Callum! “ Lexi rushed to him and hugged his waist. “ I’ve missed you! “ 

Callum laughed, stroking her head. “ I missed you too kiddo. “ 

Ben smiled, pecking Callum on the lips. “ Lex go sit on the tv, daddy’s sorting dinner out now. “ his daughter walked to the sofa and carried on walking Disney programmes. 

“ Hope you don’t mind lex being here. “ Ben told him, nervous if he’s over stepped the mark. 

“ no of course not. “ Callum said, wrapping his arms around the smaller man’s waist. “ You know I love her being here. “ 

Ben squeezed him tighter, rubbing his back. “ How did it go? “ 

“ Fine. “ He said heavily, pulling away from Ben to the kitchen platting up the food. 

“ Just fine? Stuart doesn’t just do -“ 

“ He won’t be bothering us again. “ 

“ you haven’t done something have ya? “ Ben was a bit alarmed by Callum’s words and how he seemed calm - too calm. 

“ what? No! I’ve had enough of him, as I’m concerned he’s dead. “ 

“ you don’t need him anyway Cal. He’s nothing but trouble. “ 

“ hmm. All I need is my little family. “ Callum confessed, giving his boyfriend a peck on the cheek as he brushed past him to give Lexi her food. 

And Ben watched them both   
fondly. How did he get so lucky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Tonight’s episode was epic! Tony was amazing, Bobby ( idk his real name ) was phenomenal. Ben was so cute and soft, Ian was just - stupid Ian.   
Mel ( dunno her real name ) was sad, I just find Jay cute in general and he’s Ballums biggest shipper 😂   
I really liked the army mention and Callum’s nightmares, I would love if EE made a PTSD storyline for Callum because Tony would fucking ace it and own it like the angel and talented actor he is.   
I’ll properly write a fic tomorrow after tonight’s ep, but I dunno. I have to find the time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #9 - a comment wanted a fic with Lexi putting make up on Ben 
> 
> and I honestly found that so cute that I had to write it and wish EE would have a scene like that

“ what sweetheart!?” Ben calls back to his daughter from downstairs at the Beales. 

She comes running down the stairs with excitement radiating off her body. She comes to a stop just beside her dad who’s watching the TV. 

“ I want you to be a princes!! “ 

He frowns at her. “ Eh? “ 

She tuts, annoyed at him for not understanding the simple logic.   
“ I want you to be a princess! “ 

“ why darling? “ 

“ because I want to put makeup on you and dress you up like Cinderella! “ 

“ Who’s that again? “ Ben frowns, half regretful for not remembering one of the Disney Princesses. 

“ Cinderella! Who sings with the flying tea cup and clock! “ 

“ ... oh... right I remember now..” 

“ please Daddy! Please can I put makeup on your face! “ 

He sighs. He can never say no to his little girl. “ fine. “ 

Lexi smiles widely and runs back upstairs. Ben sighs and goes back to watching the TV before he has a flying Tara flung at him with a wig. He makes a noise from the items being launched into his face. 

“ Lex no - not a wig. “ Ben shakes his head, yeh okay to the makeup but a wig? 

Lex pouts. “ I thought you loved me? “ 

Ben gasps at her emotional blackmail. She really is his daughter isn’t she? He picks her up from the waist and placed her on his lap. He kisses her forehead softly. 

“ Lex you know I love ya, sweetheart. “ 

“ then wear the wig! “ She shouts and plonks the blonde wig onto his head. He doesn’t say anything else knowing the discussion has closed. 

It’s ten minutes of Lexi sorting out the makeup, she then gets the lipstick. A bright pink one. 

Ben frowns at her. “ isn’t that mummies? “ 

“ ....no...” 

Ben sighs heavily. “ Lex you know how she gets when we touch -“ 

“ daddy it’s fine! She won’t recognise ya because you’ll be Cinderella! “ 

He doesn’t say anything. Because he probably will be unrecognisable with the makeup Lexi is applying to his face. 

20 minutes have passed and now he can finally stand up. Lexi gets him the makeup mirror and shows him her handiwork. She smiles at him with proud projecting out of her. 

Fucking hell. Is what Ben wants to say. Lexi has put mascara on his eyelashes, the lipstick is half on his lips and mainly on the skin around his mouth. He even has some sort of blusher on his cheeks that makes it look like he’s a raving alcoholic. 

“ Yeh Lex it’s - Err - lovely -“ he forces a smile. 

“ You look like a proper princess now Daddy! “ 

“ yeh. “ he smirks. “ and your my little beautiful Queen aren’t cha? “ he picks her up and holds her. He placed her on his hip as she wraps her arms around his neck. 

“ Are you proud dad? “ 

“ like you can’t believe. “ Ben grins, kisses her cheek which leaves a kiss mark on her cheek. 

She gasps dramatically. “ we can take a picture of you! “ 

“ no no Lex -“ he reluctantly puts her down when she wiggles in his embrace. She runs to get his phone and swipes to the left to get the camera app.   
He gets the phone and bends down to her, he tucks her into his side and take a selfie. 

Ben takes multiple of photos, one with them making silly faces, a second one smiling and the last one with Ben pressing a kiss to lexis cheek as she seen giggles in the picture. 

He loves his little girl.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #10 - patching each other up and being supportive of one and another

Ben collapsed his hand heavily on his thigh and place placed his head on Callum’s chest with a beaming cute smile on his face. 

“ Sooo date night? “ 

“ yeh if you want. “ Callum answered, still watching the telly. 

“ god don’t sound too excited there Cal, you might burst a brain vessel. “ Ben sarcastically stated out. 

Callum’s attention went from the TV to his husband and smiled. He placed a kiss to Ben’s head and runs his fingers through his husbands hair. 

“ I’ll be thrilled to go on a date with you Ben. “ 

“ Now it just sounds like your agreeing to go shopping! “ 

“ I won’t be going at all if you carry on! “ 

“ fine fine! “ Ben puts his hands up. “ I surrender. “ he fakes. 

Callum hums, whilst making a cheeky scrunched up face and kisses his Ben fully on the lips.   
“ love you. “ 

Ben laughs in his throat, more of a giggle and smiles against Callum’s lips. “ love you too babe. “ 

“ you want to hit the bedroom before we get ready? “ Callum cocks an eyebrow, runs his finger up and down Ben’s chest as he stares deeply into those beautiful expressive eyes. 

“ All part of getting undressed isn’t it? “ Ben flirts, kissing Callum again before dragging him to their bedroom. 

/// 

“ Two pints mick. “ Ben calls to the landlord, as they both enter the half empty pub. 

“ ‘alright son? “ Mick says, as he gets the two pints ready for them both. Callum and Ben sit together at the bar, holding hands normally. 

Callum sighs softly. “ Yeh fine mick, nothing much happening. “ 

“ married life dulling out then? “ Mick cheekily comments, placing Callum’s pint in front of him as he looks on faked shocked. 

“ Ay we’ve only been married 5 years! “ Ben defends. 

“ and you and Linda have been married for Donkey years! “ Callum also fires back. 

“ We’ve been married for 7 years! “ Mick corrects him. 

Ben tilts his head to the side, a smirk present. “ well - you’ve known Linda since yous were 14? “ 

Mick side eyes the both of them and sighs heavily giving up with the play domestic fight. “ alright, leave it to rest now ay. “ 

Ben’s and Callum’s knock together as they laugh and drink their pints. Not noticing Mick have a soft expression on his face, like he’s pleased for them. 

“ what? “ Callum frowns, confused. 

“ it’s just - I never ‘ave thought you two would be to’gether. “ Mick explains, pausing a moment as the two younger ones look more confused. “ Because Cal, no offence lad, was in the closet and after all the Whitney drama. It’s ‘lovely to see you, even now, happily married - being a dad to Lex and getting another 2 sprogs along the way. “ Callum and Ben share eye contact and they have a genuine smile on their face. 

After 2 years of their marriage, Ben waned kids with Callum. He loves them, he always wanted a massive family. So, one day, he asked Callum and he did too. He wanted a house full of children and to be the dad he never had, who shown love, safety and kindness. Ben was the same too, he wanted to show Phil he’s happy, to say a fuck you, I’ve got a house, a family and married to a man. 

Callum blushed, a nervous smile seeping into his face. “ Your support means a lot mick. “ 

Ben wraps his arm around Callum’s waist and his face reflects his husbands. “ it really does mick, ya know, how you ‘elped ‘im. “ 

Mick clears his throat, trying to get those dark memories of Callum scared and afraid on the edge of the quarry out of his mind. 

“ I see you as my son, Callum. “ Mick answers. “ always ‘ave, always will, you too Ben. “ He nods to him, feeling himself getting awkward. “ Even when I want to bash ya ‘ead in cos your annoying. “ 

“ Oi that’s me husband your talking ‘bout! “ Callum fakes offended, pointing his finger in the carters direction. They all laugh along. 

The moment is lost when The Vic doors slam open and two very drunk men stumble in laughing. Mick automatically looks uncomfortable and fed up, he just wanted a quiet night.   
Callum and Ben turn too, sensing trouble brewing. 

“ Nah come on lads, I ain’t serving ya. “ Mick orders firmly. 

“ ‘what you m’goin’ on ‘bout? “ One bloke slurs at the bartender. He catches Callum looking at him and turns to him angrily. “ what are you starring at? “ he hisses coldly. 

Callum jumps a bit, flustered.   
“ N-nothing. “ 

He scoffs, looks at his mate who’s head and arms are sprawled on the bar and turns back to Callum again. 

“ Yeh you were. “ The man still slurs, but suddenly sounds so much more sober. “ Tell me what you think. “ he steps forward, a dark mist covering his face. Ben stands up and stood beside his husband, one hand on his shoulder protecting him. 

Mick still stands where he is looking at the drunken sod. “ He don’t want nowt to do with ya. “ 

The man clocks Ben’s wedding ring and Callum’s. How they are so close and touching. “ Ohh I’m with fuckin’ fairies! “ he says in outrage and disbelief. 

Ben steps forward livid. “ what did you just say? “ 

The drunk man steps forward, stands tall and pronounced out the words slowly and clearly.   
“ I’m with fucking fairies. “ 

Ben launches himself at the bloke punching him one. The 2nd man gets involved getting his mate back, whilst Callum drags Ben back from punching him. Mick around the bar only to have the first drunk man throw a chair at Ben. 

“ I better not catch anything off ya! “ 

And this time, Callum doesn’t think and punches him. Nobody says that about his husband.   
The whole fight is messy and massive and nobody has a upper hand till Mick ends it. He doesn’t know how but he has and he bans the two drunk people out. Callum and Ben left panting and covered in blood. 

“ can’t believe he said that ‘bout ya. “ Callum rages. Ben sighs heavily. 

“ he’s a lowlife just forget it. “   
He’s just tired, all he wanted was a date with his husband. 

“ But Ben-!” 

“ Callum. “ Ben says firmly. “ He’s a prick who deserved the punches but we can’t let them rule our lives yeh? “ 

“ fine. “ 

Mick slaps his hands on Ben’s and Callum’s shoulders. “ Disgusting he is. You two Alright? “ 

“ yeh fine. “ Callum states out, a harshness to his voice. 

Ben sighs, closing his eyes for a minute before tugging his husband into his side. “ Cal you know those losers are scum, no point letting them -“ 

“ I know, it’s just - frustrates me. “ 

“ Well put that frustration into something else. “ Ben suggests. “ like our bed. “ 

Mick groans. “ I’ve heard enough of your sex life over these years. “ 

Ben laughs. “ Well ours is very unique ain’t it? “ 

Mick scoffs at his comment, without any nastiness to it.   
“ Come on boys - go ‘ome and get cleaned up. “ 

“ thanks mick. “ Callum smiles at him and he returns the smile too. 

///

Callum cleaned away the blood on his husbands eyebrow and dropped it onto the table, with the other heap of bloody cotton wools. 

“ this’ve been ya first punchup in 3 weeks. “ Callum says, would impress be the word? 

Ben grins. “ You impressed babe? “

“ think I am to be far. “ Callum agrees. “ You used to get a punch every day years ago. “ 

“ well I’ve changed haven’t I? “ 

“ Yeh - still miss the old Ben like but this one? Love even more. “ 

Ben presses a kiss to Callum’s lips. “ Same here. “ 

Callum pulls away slightly, looking from Ben’s lips to his eyes. “ Sooo when you said about our bed, getting rid of that heated frustration? “ Callum dirtily smirks and Ben reflects the smirk. 

“ Yeh? “ 

Callum slides of the coffee table and straddles his husbands thighs. “ I can think of a thing or two on how to treat it. “ he sucks hard on Ben’s neck. 

“ I’m loving your way of thinking baby. “


	11. Darkness, sadness, hopelessness and numbness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #11 - Please can we have a one shot of Callum feeling suicidal and Ben and Mick saving him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers - Depression, suicidal thoughts, child abuse 
> 
> \- Canon related/Alternative too

Callum slowly walked through the square in a trance, his mind full of self hatred and memories of his failures. He didn’t know where he was going, he just - walked around lost. He felt numb, disconnected from the world and his body. 

Was he an angel? 

When he looked around everything is a blur, the once colourful shades; now grey and died of their vibrant colours. Callum doesn’t want it anymore, he doesn’t want the life he’s been given. Callum was and still is always the odd one out, the awkward one out of the bunch. 

Jonno would tell him as much, Callum never told anybody about what Jonno used to do to him. How his dad would abuse him, but he was clever about it. That’s what Callum hates, jonno was aggressive and he always found a way to hurt Callum where nobody would look. 

Callum never took off his jumpers, always wore a long sleeved clothing. He never wore shorts. Always covered- always afraid. 

Callum would bolt awake from a nightmare, when really. It was only his brain torturing Callum again with the past events. Jonno always drunk, slamming doors and slamming beer cans down. Callum would do something wrong, he would get tortured or when stuart wasn’t at home Callum would get it regardless the situation. 

Stuart would fight back when Jonno hit him. Callum never did, he’s not a fighter, just vulnerable. Jonno took advantage of that and used it against Callum. 

Ben once asked about the cuts, burn marks, dents, abnormal skin. Callum told him it was from the army. Ben hummed along, He wasn’t stupid, Ben wasn’t, he knew Callum was tortured by his dad. Like how Ben’s dad’s ex ( now ) girlfriend used to abuse him. Ben never asked what happened to Callum - knowing that sort of abuse is never easy to talk about. 

Callum would forget Ben knew. He didn’t want any sympathy, he needed to push Ben away. To make him forget about him, so when Callum goes Ben won’t be sad anymore. 

He wants to be with Chris, he understood him. Callum loved him - Chris loved him back - Callum was the one who killed him. He killed Chris’s heart when he never returned back to the Army, he killed his heart when Callum never contacted him again. 

Ben was right when he said Callum is a coward, he is, he can’t even find the energy to kill himself. How pathetic is that? Maybe he deserves a slow death, a slow, lonely death where he can feel all the pain that Chris once felt. 

Him and Chris could’ve been the real thing, they could be boyfriends by now. If Callum didn’t chicken out, if Callum just admitted his feelings. But no, he left it and now Chris is dead. He is with the innocent angels mocking Callum - Callum just wants forgiveness. Callum didn’t mean for that woman to die, he saved her little child and Callum watched her die. 

The woman doesn’t forgive Callum, she tells him every night of every day. She follows him around yelling at him for not saving her too and now she won’t ever see her child grow up. Callum took her life away, Callum doesn’t deserve this life either. 

Callum is a heartbreaker. All he knows is letting people down, ruining things. Whitney is another example of his failures. He’s wrecked her life, he lied to her, cheated on her and been the man he really wasn’t around her. He is the reason for driving Whitney out of her home, for making her feel like a laughing stock.  
All she wanted was a nice, faithful man, to marry and start a family with. Yet, it had to be Callum. Everything he touches gets ruined. 

it would make no difference if he disappeared. No one would miss him - Stuart would be sad but he’ll get over it, the Carter’s the same and Ben. Ben would be happy wouldn’t he? All Callum is a hassle, someone who just messes people around and doesn’t know what he wants. What has he got to live for? He works at a funeral parlour, has a flat on top of that and - that’s it.  
No friends, a problematic brother, a shit homophobic abusive dad. No one would care if he died would they? 

Callum walks into his flat, his feet stinging and bleeding. The energy drained out of him, he feels bone dead tired. He leaves his crumbled suit in a heap on the floor, he slides himself into his bed and lays there. The flat is so quiet, too quiet but Callum likes it. The peaceful atmosphere making Callum feel like he is floating, his head light but the heaviness still in his chest. 

Another way to hurt yourself without leaving evidence. 

He was meant to go to work today but what’s the point when you’re going die soon? Callum isn’t going to be here much longer, so Jay might as well get used to the empty desk. 

Jay is always nice with Callum, he acts like his mate but Callum knows it’s a front. Callum doesn’t deserve anybody. 

Callum lets his eyes fall, letting sleep consume him - wishing it was forever than temporary. 

Callum used to lie awake at night back at the army bunkers. He would hear the distant gun shots being fired, the explosions and crackling and the screams.  
He would wrap himself into the bed even more, when it came to those moments. Callum wished he could get killed out there, to get it done and dusted. 

To have Chris wrapped in his arms, pressing silent kisses to his head telling him everything will be alright. And it will be.  
Chris keeps telling Callum that, he’s always with Callum now. 

He looks the exactly the same, sometimes he would be in his army uniform and sometimes in casual were. When Callum was alone at night Chris would sit next to him, holding his hand and they would have conversations together. Talk for hours till it came to 4 ‘o’ clock in the morning, Callum missed Chris but he doesn’t anymore. He is going to be with Chris, they are going to have their ending together, they can actually be together in the stars. 

Callum blinks the tiredness away, his brain has been running along again. When he thinks he’s sleeping he’s not, he was talking to Chris again. He was talking about them being together again and Chris was pleased. He brushed away Callum’s over grown hair from his forehead and kissed his head. Callum told him he loved him and Chris did the same. 

I can’t wait to be with you, he said. 

-/- 

“ Mitchell. “ Mick roughly calls, rolling his finger to get Ben to walk to him at the other far end of the bar. Where the double doors lead into the kitchen. 

Ben frowns at him, glass still in hand, as he leans against the bar too. “ what? “ 

Micks eyes lock over the bar for a moment before looking at Ben. “ have you noticed anything- different about Halfway?” 

Ben considers if it’s the right moment to say. He just thought it was just him who saw a dramatic yet slow changes in Callum. 

The very first change Ben saw was how Callum seemed unbothered about things. He didn’t take an interest in anything anymore, he would hardly eat. Then about 2/4 weeks ahead, Ben would hear and get told by Jay that Callum is always late for work and even then Callum seems the least apologetic. Ben always liked Callum because of his looks; the clean shaven face, combed hair and he genuinely took a pride in his appearance. Even if he does live in that black suit. However, over recent weeks, Callum has developed a bit of a medium sided scruff on his jaw and around his mouth. Callum has let his hair grow out and sits -not messily - but not neat on his head. Ben found it odd, but didn’t comment- well he did comment - by making a joke. Ben would usually get an eye roll or a smirk when he told his lame, snarky jokes to Callum. But all he’s been getting is blank looks, Ben would ask if Callum is okay. He would get back “ I’m fine. “

And then the most recent, Callum never socialises anymore. He never texts anyone, he just sits at work starring into space or actually doing work ( that’s surprising these days ). Callum would always be in his flat in bed too, saying he’s tired. Nobody can get to the bottom about the problems Callum is having. 

“ y-yeh I have. “ 

“ Our Lee used to be like that. “ Mick says, a passing comment. 

Ben frowns harder. “ like what?” 

“ depressed. “ 

“ how did you -“ 

“ I only found out when he was suicidal, saw a postcard with samaritans on it. “ 

“ You - was he -“ 

“ Lee said he tried to - ya know-“ Mick trailed off, memories building up again of that terrible day. “ but we did. We talk to ‘him and got ‘him ‘elp. “ 

“ and have you tried to help Callum? “ 

Mick sighs. “ his phones off, when I try to talk to him he ain’t there. “

“ how do you -“ 

“ mentally not there. I see him talking to himself. Like proper having conversations, in the park. “ mick explains concerned, lowering his voice not wanting anyone to hear. Only now wishing he asked Ben to go upstairs to talk. Ben’s face changes to alarmed, Callum has been having conversations with himself? Has he gone mad? 

“ Have you told anyone else? “ 

“ L knows, she’s noticed too. I rang the docts about Callum and they can’t do anything ‘bout it ‘cos Halfway is an adult. He needs to get himself to the doctors. “ 

Ben puts the glass down on the wood and rubbed his face with his hands. He should’ve done something sooner, he shouldn’t have left it so late. What if he done something that could have prevented it? He should have supported Callum more. 

“ I’m gonna head over to his now, we need to talk to ‘him. “  
Ben told mick, he nodded quickly and got his coat. They walked to Calum’s flat fairly quickly and knocked on the door and getting no answer. They share a worrying look before Ben tried to open the door and it opened. They walked in, already confused because the door wasn’t locked. The 2nd thing was that the flat was stuffy, they called Callum’s name and he wasn’t there. The flat was a mess. Till, Mick walked into Callum’s room and found him laying in the bed. Literally just laying there, eyes open and blinking. 

Micks face froze, so did Ben’s. Callum didn’t even flinch when they entered the room. Callum seemed out of it, curled in a ball with the quilt over him. His brunette hair sitting on the pillow whilst he blink every few seconds. 

Mick creeped to him, treating Callum like a scared animal.  
“ Halfway? “ he called once, the only response was a blink. “ Can you hear me? “ a nod. Mick looked at Ben with concern and pure helpless. Ben walked to his lover, completely out of his depth. He stroked away the lose strands of hair from Callum’s eyes. 

“ Cal? Please tell us what’s wrong? “ Ben said softly. Mick looked at him amazed, he’s never heard Ben sound so soft and quiet. 

“ I don’t want to be here. “ Callum whispered, the other two individuals nearly straining to hear him. 

“ How - How Do you mean? “ ben feared. 

“ I want Chris. “ 

Chris? “ Chris? “ mick repeated confused. 

“ who’s Chris Cal? “ Ben asked. 

“ I want to be with Chris. “ Callum repeated, rolling over and facing the wall. Ben stayed crouching down only seeing covered Callum’s back. 

Both men walk into the living room standing opposite each other. “ He’s depressed. “ mick says. “ proper depressed. “ 

“ yeh thanks Einstein. “ 

“ Right let’s just clean his flat -“ 

“ and how’s that gonna do shit mick!? “ Ben shouted at him. 

“ Well if you’ve got any ideas! “ 

Ben sighed heavily. “ You clean his flat then - like that’s gonna do shit - and I’ll talk to ‘him yeh? “ 

“ fine. “ 

Ben walked away, only letting his anger fade and took a deep breath. He doesn’t understand why he is so nervous for.  
Ben strolls to the other side of the bed and crotches down. So he’s squatting. 

“ Callum? “ Ben calls softly.  
“You know I love ya voice. “ he starts, awkwardly. It makes Ben feel more out of place when all Callum does is blink at him, his eyes have never looked so empty and dead before. “ I always love listening to it, or when you ain’t there I rewatch videos of ya in bed. “ Ben explains, truthfully. He hesitantly slides his hand under the covers and loosely holds Callum’s hand. This is the moment for Ben to talk, to talk about his true feelings to Callum. To get him to understand he ain’t alone, that he has Ben. 

“ I missed you. “ Mitchell chokes out, throat dry. “ I’ve missed your dorky face, always tryna make me happy when I’m feeling down. “ he trails off.  
Ben’s shit at talking about feelings, he doesn’t know if this is even helping. “ You always said to me talking helps. You should take your own advice, communication helps others to understand what you’re going through. “ 

“ I want Chris. “ Callum repeats, quietly. His voice rough from the lack of talking and drinking. 

“ Who’s Chris? “ Ben doesn’t know if it’s a real person or not.  
He has never heard Callum talk about this Chris before, until now. 

“ Me and Chris are going be together. “ Callum whispers, like it’s a secret. Only, Callum doesn’t move just muffled words coming out of his mouth. 

Ben frowns, something uneasy building in his stomach. The way Callum is talking and how he talks with so much sad emptiness is worrying. 

“ Where is Chris then? “ Ben plays along, curious. 

“ Chris is with me. “ Callum murmurs tiredly. 

“ he ain’t -“ 

“ I’m going to go with him. “ 

Ben bites his cheek hard, trying his best to not snap. He needs to be patient, even when Callum isn’t talking in proper sentences. 

“ Go where? “ 

“ To the stars. “ 

Silence. Silence. Silence. 

“ He’s dead? “ 

Ben wants to be sick. 

“ I killed him, but forgives me. We’re going be together, finally. “ Callum’s eyes droop from the heavy tiredness settling in. 

“ You - want to die? “ Ben lets out slowly. Callum can’t die, he can’t. 

“ No one will notice. “ 

“ Callum of course we will! “ 

“ Chris’ll be happy. “ He whispers and falls asleep. Ben stares at him, tears dropping from his eyes. Mick steps forward into the room, he same sorrowful expression as Ben. 

“ You - heard -?” 

Mick nodded quickly, wiping away a few fallen tears.  
“ We just - stay with him. Don’t leave him on his own - we’ll -“ 

And like a dam - Ben breaks. He sobs into his hands. “ I don’t want him to die! He can’t - he can’t leave me - us! Why is he sayin’ this?! “ he chokes out, his voice sounding terrible. 

“ He don’t - he doesn’t know what he’s saying okay? He’s just -“ mick struggles to talk too. “ He’s in a bad place but we’ll get him back. “ 

“ i want my Callum back. “ Ben cries into micks chest. 

/// 

Callum gets out of the bed. The bedroom casted in a dark shadow, he puts on trackies and a hoodie and some trainers on.  
He sees Ben sleeping on a chair, next to the window - Callum’s blank face doesn’t change. 

Ben shouldn’t be here. He should’ve forgotten about Callum but it’s okay now. Callum is the one who’s leaving. He walks through into the living room and Mick is asleep on the sofa. Callum has caused all this stress, even when he ain’t there. He can’t do right from doing wrong. 

“ Ready? “ Chris asks Callum when they’re outside. 

“ Ready. “ Callum smiles weakly. 

/// 

“ Where is HE! “ 

“ Mick he’s gone! “ 

“ Mick! Mick! CALLUMS GONE! “ 

/// 

“ it’s beautiful isn’t it? “ Chris supposes, looking over the quarry face. The full moon out tonight with the stars glistening in the black sky. 

“ We’re gonna be together- finally now aren’t we? “ Callum asks him, looking at the black. 

“ Of course we are. “ Chris agrees casually. “ but Callum -“ he faces him. “ Do you really want this? “ 

Callum faces him too. “ what? “ 

“ Callum! Callum!! “ distant shouts unheard. 

“ This, us. We -you- will be away forever, you can’t ever come back. “ 

“ Nobody wants me. I’m better off dead. “ 

“ Halfway! “ A rough shout coming closer. Callum turns to the shouts and his face slacks with panic. 

“ they’re gonna - they can’t find me! “ Callum stresses. 

“ Callum you need to calm down yeh? They only need to help you. “ 

“ you did - you did this! “Callum cries in betrayal. 

“ I haven’t done anything. “ 

Ben gasps. “ Callum. “ 

“ Nonono. “ Callum cries, moving more closer to the edge. 

“ don’t just - calm down Halfway. “ Mick reaches out his hand, heart hammering out of his chest. 

“ I don’t want this! Why can’t you just let me die! “ 

“ because we love you too much to let you go. “ Ben tells him. 

“ See? You have people who care about you Callum. “ Chris tells him. 

“ but I want you. “ Callum chokes out. 

“ Who you talking too? “ Mick says in confusion. Only seeing Callum staring at nothing. 

“ Chris. “ 

“ Cal, he’s dead. “ 

“ He’s not! “ Callum shouts. “ we’re gonna be together ! I deserve this , I deserve to die because I’m nothing! All I cause is hassle, I’ve wrecked lives, I’ve not helped people enough. “ 

“ you have - “ 

“ Callum we can talk about this, just step away from the edge for me. “ Ben slowly steps forward. 

“ I want want to talk. “ Callum whispers. “ I want everything to stop. “ 

“ What do you want to stop Cal? “ Ben asks him calmly, still slowly walking forward. Mick standing where he first found Callum. 

“ The pain, flashbacks, nightmares. All of it hurts. “ 

“ we can get you help then. “ 

Callum shakes his head “ I don’t want help. I don’t want this life “ 

“ this life wants you Callum and all the people init want you. “ 

“ We need you Halfway. “ Mick pipes in. 

Callum flings a arm at them, nearly falling back but steadies himself. Ben and mick nearly had an heart attack. 

“ You’re only just saying this! “ 

“ we not. “ Ben shakes his head.  
“ we are telling you all the reasons why you need to live. To not make this terrible mistake. “ 

“ we know you really don’t want this. “ Mick tells him. “ It’s that Chris-“ 

“ NO! He hasn’t done anything wrong! “ 

Ben shoot mick an angry stare, before looking back at Callum. He’s 4 inches away from him now. Still not touching. 

“ if Chris Really loves you, you really think he wants you to die? “ 

“ I want us be together. “ 

“ Is that the only reason? “ 

Callum finally looks at Ben dead in the eye. Ben looks shattered. Callum must look even worse. 

“ no. “ he whispers. 

“ Right, we can talk more about this can’t we? “ Ben said calmly. 

“ What about Chris? “ 

“ He’ll be fine, I think he’ll prefer you here alive then dead. “ Ben pointedly says. “ Paul would want me to live my life, to live a life for him. “ 

“ but he didn’t deserve to die. “ Callum says. 

“ No he didn’t. and you don’t either. “ 

“ I just want the pain to go away Ben. “ Callum cries. 

“ And it will babe, all you need to do is come with us. “ 

Callum looks at him both, their faces tight and controlled with fear. He slowly nods his head only- his foot slips and he goes to fall. 

“ CALLUM! “ 

“ You terrified me. “ Ben told him, shaken up. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

“ we just want to help you. “ Mick tells him too. 

“ I still want to die. “ 

“ we can get you help. “ 

Callum finally looked at them both and for the first time in a long time. He felt a tiny feeling of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the prompter, thank you for the comment, I hope i have done what you expected. I hope I haven’t disappointed you!!  
I wil Be writing the Callum’s PTSD one today, should be posted either today or this week. 
> 
> And to the readers, I hope you liked this? 
> 
> I do want EE to do a storyline like this for Callum or showing his PTSD


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #12 - Callum’s PTSD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is okay prompter !! 
> 
> Don’t hesitate to comment a one shot/prompt if you have any :)

Ben snuggled up against Callum in his semi conscious form but he slowly woke up. He grumbled in protest, feeling the sleep fade away till Callum kept moving in his sleep. Ben frowned at him seeing the light cover of sweat on his forehead, the way Callum’s whole front was flushed and shiny. Ben pressed his palm against his boyfriends forehead and the skin was boiling hot. 

“ M’nonono. “ Callum rolled from side to side, mumbling in his sleep. Ben gently shook Callum to wake him up but he never did. “ Chris - Chris -“ 

Ben felt his heart drop slightly. Callum never mentioned anyone called Chris but Callum wouldn’t ever cheat again. The last time it nearly killed Callum and he wouldn’t ever go down that root again. 

“ I’m - I’m sorry - “ The world slipped out. Ben could tell the nightmare was distressing from the way Callum was muttering the words. 

“ NO! “ 

Ben jumped out of his skin. Callum bolted up from the bed panting violently. He was shaking like a leaf, he looked completely zoned out with his eyes unfocused. 

“ Cal? Callum? Are you okay? “ He didn’t know if he should touch him or not. It pained Ben to not know what Callum needs at this moment of time. 

“ I’m sorry -“ Callum grasped out. 

“ why you apologising for? “ Ben asked him softly, he slowly run his fingers through Callum’s wet hair. 

“ I - I didn’t save - she’s dead -“ 

Ben shuffled closer to him and placed his hand on Callum’s arm. He immediately knew what Callum is talking about. 

“ You saved her child cal, you didn’t have enough time to save her. Even if you did - you would’ve died too. “ Ben explained, needing Callum to understand. If Callum did die, way before they even met, Ben wouldn’t have found love again, he wouldn’t have another boyfriend and found his soulmate. So, in some horrible terms Ben’s glad Callum didn’t have enough time to save that woman. 

“ but she’s gonna miss her child grow up. “ Callum choked out, his breathing steadying slowly. 

“ Maybe be so but at least her child does grow up. “ Ben assures his boyfriend. Ben tilted his head to the side slightly and looked at Callum hesitantly.   
“ you mentioned someone. “ 

“ did i? “ Callum frowns, confused. 

“ Someone called Chris. “ 

Callum tensed. “ No I didn’t. “ 

“ You did. “ 

Callum scrambled from the bed and practically ran out of the bedroom into the living room. He poured himself some cold water and gulped it down, feeling Ben right behind him. The silence deafening. 

“ You never mentioned anyone called Chris. “ 

“ Because he’s - it’s irrelevant now. “ He won’t ever be relevant in Callum’s life, even he knows that. 

“ Cal, you can talk to me you know. “ Ben told him quietly. He stepped slowly to him and sat on the counter beside his boyfriend. 

Callum’s head dipped downwards with a shaky breath. “ I know. “ 

“ So talk then.” 

Callum sighed heavily, turning around and leaned against the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest, the nightmare still vidid in his mind. The images of the war-zone, different people shouting at him. The gun shots and explosions with people dead on the ground. 

If the war doesn’t kill you, you kill yourself because of the war. 

“ I don’t know where to start. “ Callum rubbed his forehead. He wants to bury those memories, like what he saw back there. 

“ Start from the beginning. “ Ben told him softly. 

“ it’s complicated. “ 

“ Isn’t everything. “ Ben joked lightly. “ I’m getting the feeling you want to keep me in the dark. “ 

Callum sighed again, he walked away from Ben and started to pace in small circles. He peaked out the curtain to check if anything is there. He always feels it, the feeling of being watched all the time. 

“ it’s not that. “ Callum said from the back of his throat, he carried on looking through the window. Ben frowned harsher at him, just watching Callum looking out through the window as if he’s waiting or expecting someone to be there. 

HELP! 

Callum jumped like a cat.   
“ You didn’t just hear that!? “ he looked at Ben with wide eyes terrified. 

“ Heard What? “ 

HELP ME PLEASE! 

“ THERE AGAIN! “ Callum shouted, panicking. Callum frantically ran his shaking fingers through his wet hair.   
Ben jumped off the counter and walked slowly to him. 

Ben is kinda used to these situations now. Callum out of it when he had a nightmare, or when a loud bang happens Callum looks like he’s reverted back to the Army. But this is new. 

“ Cal there’s nothing there. Just you and me. “ Ben told him truthfully. He placed both hands either side of Callum’s arms. 

Callum shook his head, tearing up. “ She - it was her. She was calling for me to help her. “ 

“ she’s dead. She can’t -“ 

Callum shook his head, frustrated. “ I need to check. “ 

Ben opened his mouth speechless. “ How are you possibly going to do that? “ 

Callum slid down the wall burying his head in his knees shaking. Ben can’t believe how a tall man like Callum can look so small. Ben came the same level as Callum and held him. 

“ Let’s just go to bed okay? We can talk tomorrow. “ 

“ I can’t - I don’t want to talk. “ 

“ Callum you need help. “ Ben admitted, quietly. 

“ I’m fine! “ Callum cried out. 

“ You know your not. “ 

Callum ignored him. “ Let’s just - just go to bed. “ he said slowly. They got up from the floor and tiredly made their way back to bed. Ben was the big spoon and cradled Callum in his chest. Ben rested his chin on top of Callum’s head and pressed a kiss to his head. 

“ I’ll help ya cal, whatever happens. “ 

-:- 

The morning was tense. Ben stepping around Callum waiting for any sort of trigger and Callum was in a daze. He was barely awake, just acting on instinct. Callum sat heavily on the chair at the table slowly playing with his porridge and grapes. He didn’t know Ben was watching him. 

“ Are you okay? “ 

“ fine. “ Callum said emotionless. 

“ Last night -“ 

“ I need go to work. “ Callum shot Ben off with a slight harshness to his voice. 

“ We to talk about this! “ Ben called after him which left on deaf ears. Ben hates this when they argue or just have a lack of communication going. 

Ben roughly turns the screw clockwise in one of the car engines at The Arches. He’s been working all morning trying to distract himself. Callum hasn’t texted him all morning and Callum always texts him. Ben shot jay a quick text, disguising his worries about Callum. He didn’t want to bring unwanted attention to Callum in case it made the situation worse. When jay texted back saying everything is fine - Ben breathed again. Callum wasn’t dead or something. 

“ oi! “ Ben stills for a moment hearing his dad but doesn’t move waiting for him to speak.   
“ go have a bre’ak till 1. “ he ordered. 

“ but -“ 

Phil gestures at him with a look of annoyance. “ You’ve been in dolly day dream land all mornin’ “ 

“ I ain’t said anything! “ Ben faces Phill, in defensive mode. 

“ Yeh that’s the point Ben. You ain’t made some snarky fucking comment all mornin’. “ 

Ben sighed, dropping the screwdriver into the tool box.   
“ I’ve been minding my own business dad. “ 

“ Yeh I know Ben, what’s wrong. “ 

“ nothing. “ He ain’t going to do deep and meaningful with his dad. 

“ Ben, just spit it out will ya. “ Phil grumbled, strolling from one of the cars nearest to his son to the desk and sat down. 

Ben looked beyond hesitant. Should he tell his dad ( and god Phil Mitchell is like the worse person to talk too. It’s a robot ) about Callum or carry on suffering in silence about what to do? 

“ it’s about Callum. “ Ben speaks before he even processes anything. 

Phil Halfway flings his hands up as to say ‘ yeh and.’ 

“ well he’s been - having - “ 

“ bloody hell this is painful. “ phill mutters. 

“ you know what leave it. “ Ben walks to the doors. 

“ get your arse back ‘ere now and tell me what’s wrong. “ Phil demands. Ben retreats and slowly walks back to him. He sits on one of the car fronts. 

“ he’s been havin’ nightmares. “ 

“ yeh he told me. “ 

“ what!!! “ Ben half shouted. Callum. Callum bloody Highway has been talking to his dad. Who by the way is Phil Mitchell. Have they both been sitting around the table talking - Phil Mitchell - being....supportive? 

Phil shrugs. “ what? I’m a nice person when I want to be. “ 

“ But -“ 

Phil sighs. “ I saw ‘im few weeks back in the park. “ he explains.   
“ It was dark - nearly 11 and he was panicking about something. Shouting’ and all sorts. “ 

“ Was that - when I at that overnight business? “ Ben filled the blanks. He feels dreadful, when Callum needed him he wasn’t there. Callum never even told him, is there anything else Callum is hiding away from him? Is Callum still self harming? 

Ben feels his blood turn to ice. 

“ Yeh. I brought ‘him back to his flat and we talked. I managed to calm him down. “ Phill informed his son. “ eventually...” he added. 

“ but why - why didn’t you tell me? “ Ben asked him, confused and betrayed. 

Phill sighed again, getting uncomfortable. “ Because he didn’t want to worry ya. “ 

“ But I’m his boyfriend! “ 

“ yes ben, we are aware of that. “ 

“ I need to speak to him. “ Ben rushed out, just about he was to leave phill stopped him again. 

“ Don’t go all Ben Mitchell on him. He’s fragile. “ 

Ben turned to him angrily. “ You think I don’t know that?! “ 

“ I know and I also know when something has pissed you off, You go off the rails. “ 

Ben ignored him, shooting him a look and making his way to the funeral place. He didn’t knowledge that he was still in his oily overalls. 

“ Ben? You alright? “ Jay approached his brother seeing how he looked livid. 

“ no I am not alright jay. “ Ben snapped. “ Where’s Callum? “ 

“ driving in the hoarse. “ 

Ben sighed angrily and plonked himself down at the table. “ tell him, when I’m done with him he will be in a hoarse. “ he knows he doesn’t really mean it, he wouldn’t ever hurt Callum verbally or physically. 

Jay made a ‘o’ mouth shape and shot Callum a text. 

Jay - Ben wants your head when you come back. What’ve u done? 

Jay slipped his phone back into his suit pocket and sat at the desk. He rested his elbows on the arm rest and held his hands together. 

“ right what has he done. “ Jay said heavily. 

“ Lied. “ Ben snapped. “ Or well just not been telling me things. “ 

“ about what? “ 

“ You can’t tell anyone for now, okay? “ 

“ right - fine. “ 

“ Cals been having nightmares. I think he has PTSD. “ 

Jay breathed out shocked. “ wow. “ 

“ I dunno how to ‘elp him. “ Ben said, at a loss. 

“ Well he needs professional help. “ jay said like Ben didn’t already know. 

“ yes thank you Jay, I didn’t know that. “ Ben sarcastically commented. “ how can I get him help if he won’t even admit it? “ 

“ Talk to him. One to one, don’t just drop it on him. Let him see that what he’s going through ain’t normal. “ 

“ And I always thought you were thick. “ Ben sweetly smirked cheekily. 

“ What does that make you then? “ Jay tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. 

“ A genius. “ 

“ a genius who doesn’t know how to help his boyfriend. “ Jay said the remark before he even thought about it. Bens face fell and hung his head slightly lower. “ mate I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. “ 

“ no - no it’s fine. “ he waved him off, hurt.

“ ugh you won’t believe the day I’ve just had -“ Grumbled Callum, walking into jays office and seeing his boyfriend there too. Ben turned his body around to him, not impressed. 

“ Oh Really Callum? Please enlighten us. “ 

Callum sighed softly, eyes darting to an amused Jay back to Ben. “ Babe-“ 

Ben stood up, face to face - well face to shoulder ( because Bens small ). “ What are our loyalties in our relationship Callum? “ 

“ someone’s in trouble. “ Muttered Jay. Both of them ignored him. The audacity really, when they’re having a domestic in his office. 

“ Truth, communication, no lies, love, no deceit and safety. “ Callum listed off, using that voice where you’re in the doghouse. 

“ not a lot then. “ Jay muttered again. He can’t help himself. 

“ and which ones did you break? “ 

“ But Ben -“ 

“ which one did you break Callum. “ Ben empathised each word. 

“ truth. “ 

Ben hummed. “ We’re going back to the flat to talk. “ he didn’t, it was a command. 

“ but I can’t -“ 

“ Yeh Ben he can’t just walk out -“ 

“ Jay you’re working with dead people. I don’t think they’ll notice. “ he turned to his boyfriend. “ come on Halfwit. “ 

Callum groaned at the memory. “ Shirley used call me that. “ 

“ and now I am. Get a move on! “ he pushed Callum out of the door without any anger. Jay watched them go and now he’s sitting in silence. 

“ Idiots. “ he muttered to himself. 

Ben placed two mugs full of tea onto the table. He sat down opposite his boyfriend but close enough to support him and touch him. 

“ I just found out by my dad you two been talking about your nightmares. “ Ben starts off, not exactly sounding to impressed.   
“ it’s not enough to talk to your boyfriend but it’s fine to talk to bloody Phil Mitchell? “ he makes a face at the logic. “ I’m I really that bad that you can’t even talk to me? “ Ben let his vulnerability show, it’s only them two in the room. He feels comfortable enough to expose it in front of Callum. 

“ It’s not like that Ben. “ Callum told him, tiredly. He hates himself more making Ben insecure. 

“ Then tell me! When we first got together we agreed to talk about our feelings. We don’t lie. “ 

“ I was protecting you, I didn’t want to burden ya with my baggage. “ Callum confessed, not meeting Ben’s eye. “ You’ve already been helping me and I didn’t want you to resent me or laugh at me because of it. “ 

“ You honestly think that? “ Ben let out quietly. 

Callum looked apprehensive.   
“ you - you make jokes and snarky comments don’t ya? “ he admitted, nervously. As each word he says the more he wants to die. “ I didn’t want to be laughed at, i know it’s only your sense of humour but - I didn’t want to be a laughing stock. “ Confessed Callum, he hates how his shoulders feel a tiny bit lighter. Ben didn’t say anything and that nerved Callum even more. “ The square already think I’m a bit of a - you know and if they - if they found out I’m havin’ nightmares and you have to look after me -“ he blew out a frustrated breath. “ I didn’t want to look pathetic and weak. “ 

“ all this is my fault ain’t it? “ Ben cried nearly. “ I’ve pushed you away without even meaning too. “ he panicked. He’s managed to push away the love of his life. He’s wrecked another relationship, he’s made Callum not want to talk to him about his feelings. Just because Ben isn’t good at talking and always makes jokes - Callum honestly thought Ben would be uncaring and be so cruel? That stung, probably hurt more than all the punches and beating combined. 

Callum rushed to him, knowing his boyfriend is overthinking.   
He held Ben’s hands tightly and brought Ben’s head to face his. 

“ You ain’t done anything Ben. It’s me. My insecurities okay? You haven’t done anything wrong, you’ve helped me loads. “ Callum confesses, his own voice shivering with fear seeing his boyfriend upset because of him. 

“ I didn’t mean to push you away Callum! “ Ben tears up, his voice breaking slightly. “ I would never pick on you - especially with what your going through! I’m so sorry cal, please forgive me. “ He cries softly, not meeting Callum’s gaze again. 

“ Of course I forgive ya, you muppet. I’ve got nothing to forgive you for, but you ain’t done anything wrong. “ 

And that’s when he looks back at Callum again, all confused and conflicted. “ then why talk to me dad and not me? “ 

“ Because - when you were staying over night at that place. I had another nightmare but I was still in it - when I woke up. “ Callum explained heavily, getting uncomfortable because the memories are invading his mind again. Ben moved his thumb in a soothing rhythm over Callum’s skin on his hand. “ i saw them - “ 

“ Who? “ 

“ Chris. That woman. The captain - all of them were just shouting at me ‘n’ followin’ me. So I ran - I didn’t know where I was going. Till your dad helped me at the park and brought me back here. “ 

“ You should’ve told me. “ 

“ you were happy to see me the next day. “ Callum said simply. “ I didn’t want to wreck that, especially when you were hopeful that I didn’t have any nightmares that night. “ 

“ I should’ve noticed. “ 

Callum shook his head softly.   
“ You was happy to see me, even more so when you bagged that deal. “ 

Mitchell sighed, eschewing Callum’s gaze for a split second.   
“ I’m always worried about you. Even more terrified when you keep me in the dark. “ Ben explained, honestly. “ I’ve been thinking all sorts. “ 

Callum’s eyebrows narrowed.   
“ like what? “ 

“ You self harming again. “ 

Callum’s face fell in shock and overwhelmed. “ No Ben, i haven’t done that in a long ‘time. “ 

“ But thought about it? “ He filled in the sadly. 

Callum looked ashamed. “ yeh. “ 

“ what stopped you then? “ 

“ you. “ 

“ me? “ He repeated surprised. 

“ You always ‘elp me Ben. I - I saw the razor in the bathroom and - and I was about to -“ Callum gulped, a sad cover went over Ben’s eyes hearing this. “ -But I thought of you. I thought of you being so disappointed and I didn’t want to - I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me. “   
Ben slid closer to his boyfriend, wrapping his hand around Callum’s neck with the other cupping his jaw. Ben stared deep in Callum’s eyes. 

“ I would and will never be disappointed in you Callum. Never. “ 

“ At the time though-“ 

“ I know baby, but I would never think that of ya. “ 

“ I hate feeling like this Ben. “ Callum confessed, vulnerable. 

Ben blinked softly, stroking Callum’s jaw with his thumb. “ Like What, Babe? “ 

“ Defeated. I can’t just go through one day without feeling normal anymore. “ 

“ We can get you help then. We can get you feeling like you again. “ 

Callum sighed heavily. “ I don’t even know who I am anymore. “ 

Ben shuffled a bit more, pushing his right leg into the V of Callum’s legs. “ Well your soft, an idiot, sincere, a intelligent muppet, loving caring - “ Ben listed off, pressing each kiss to the words on Callum’s neck.   
“I’ll do anything to get you back to ‘normal’ okay? I won’t ever let anything bad happen to you or let you feel suffocated to the point of self conflict. “ 

“ I love you Ben Mitchell. “ 

“ I love you more Callum Highway. “


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #13 - hospital visits

Ben walked into Callum’s hospital room in a trance. Callum plays hero and pays the price. When Bobby was in the tunnel Callum ran after him, saving him but - the train caught onto Callum’s blazer. Callum was flung with the train for about 60 yards. Before finally being dropped because of his suit coat ripping and separating Callum and the train. 

Bobby was safe, not a single scratch on him. Callum. Callum was broken. The doctors were surprised he was even alive still, they were waiting for Callum to die because any person would’ve. After being attached to a speeding train. 

Ben was waiting 13 minutes for Callum on their date. When he heard Ian repeatedly tell Bobby to calm down and the mention of Callum. Ben felt his world stop. He rushed straight to the hospital without even thinking, he didn’t let himself think. When he finally got the doctors to tell him about Callum he broke down into sobs. In the middle of the doctors room. 

Ben takes Callum free hand and gently squeezes it. He wouldn’t cope if Callum died, he’ll always love Paul but - Callum is his soul mate. He understands Ben, they’re a match and fit together perfectly. 

“ Please Callum. Please wake up - don’t - don’t leave me. “ Ben whimpered, resting his head on the edge of the hospital bed. 

The ICT unit was quiet, deathly silent and Ben hated it. The doctors and nurses walking up and down the corridor, having jobs to do. Whilst his Callum is barely hanging on a thread. 

Ben blow out a long, hard breath trying to compose himself. Callum would hate it if he was crying. Ben would remember Callum wiping away his tears and telling him how things will eventually get better. When Ben was having a bad day. All he wants is for Callum to wake up and tell him everything will be okay, but Ben isn’t naive. It won’t ever be okay. 

Stuart creeped into his brother’s room, his face barely changing when he saw Ben’s shoulders silently shaking. Ben’s soft little sniffs and whimpers being heard in the room. 

“ How is he? “ Stuart asked, his voice the usual cold tone. Ben jumped a tad looking over his shoulder still sniffling. He wiped his falling tears with his sleeve and cleared his throat. Yet, he didn’t move. 

“ No change. “ 

Stuart’s shoulders dropped and let out a sigh of annoyance. “ still? “ 

“ yeh Stuart. He was attached to a bloody train. “ Ben snapped, not facing him.  
Stuart walked to the other side of his brother and sat down opposite Ben. Who looked more annoyed by his presence. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

Ben frowned, at the unexpected apology. “ You What? “ 

“ I’m sorry. I know - I know he means a lot to ya. “ Stuart awkwardly said, nearly cringing. “ I don’t know why - I dunno what he even sees in ya but -“ he took a deep breath, like what he has said is taking away his pride. “ I know you and him care for each other. “ 

Ben genuinely doesn’t know what to say. Everything the bald headed freak said was right but - why would Stuart suddenly say all this? 

“ What are you up too? “ Ben asked him, narrowing his eyes. 

“ I ain’t up to nowt. What happened to cal, it’s made me realise- hating you - causing my brother more hassle ain’t worth it. Especially when my little brother could be taken away from me. “ 

Ben let out a sigh, slowly nodding his head. He’ll never like Stuart, but, for Callum’s sake he’ll be civil. He’ll do anything for Callum. 

“ I told dad -“

“ your freak of a dad? “ 

“ yeh. “ Stuart simply said. “ He weren’t bothered. He just said it’s Callum’s own fault for savin’ ‘him. “ 

“ You What! “ Ben shouted. 

“ T’old him where to go ‘n’ haven’t heard from him since. “ 

Ben scoffed, muttering under his breath. “ Scumbag. “ 

Suddenly the heart monitor went ballistic, loud beeping noises filling the room. Both men shot up sharing equal terrified looks and the nurses and doctors bursting in. 

“ - You need to go -“ 

“ no no - wait what’s happening!? “ 

“ Callum! “ 

“ - He’s waking up - you need to leave now -“ 

Ben and Stuart stared aimlessly through the window helplessly. They watched the nurses and doctors calming down Callum and taking out the tube from his throat. It’d taken a solid 30 minutes before they were allowed to in. Only, the doctor stopped them. 

“ Mr Highway is extremely weak and will be confused after being in a coma for 3 weeks. You need to lay off him, let him stay calm and relaxed. “ The Doctor ordered them both, sternly. Before continuing. “ Callum may be confused for a while, we did talk to him and it shows. But you need to let him remember on his own terms. “ 

Stuart and Ben said their thanks and walked back into the room. Their own heard beating horrendously waiting for anything to happen. 

“ You - You Alright brov? “ Stuart forced a smile at him. He sat back down at his original seat and so did Ben. 

Callum didn’t speak, his throat as dry as sandpaper. Everything ached, his head foggy and the last few minutes already felt like a life time ago. 

“ What - w-what happened? “ Croaked out of his throat. 

Ben’s eyebrows borrowed.  
“ You don’t remember? “ 

Callum slowly shook his head, a lack of effort. He looked down with his eyes, taking in the 2 broken legs, 1 broken arm, wires, cuts, broken fingers, his ribs ached and they were broken too. The bandage around his head that tight he’s half surprised the top of his head hasn’t busted off. 

“ I think - there was a train? “ Callum let out confusingly. 

“ Yeh there was Cal, well done. “ Ben smiled, proud. Callum only nodded before looking back at Stuart with a frown. 

“ do I know you? “ 

Stuart sat frozen. “ Don’t Be stupid. It’s me - Stuart. “ 

Callum’s mouth went into a straight line, still confused. Ben looked at them both with a puzzled expression. 

“ Cal, this is your brother “ Ben informed him. God, he really hopes Callum hasn’t forgotten about him. 

“ I? I have a brother? “ Callum looked more puzzled by the second. 

“ I need to go - “ Stuart stumbled to get up and left the room. He went to the toilets and cried in one of the toilets.  
Ben cleared his throat, subconsciously waiting for Callum to forget about him too. 

“ Do you remember anything else? “ Ben didn’t want to ask. 

“ Chris. “ 

“ eh? “ 

“ where’s Chris? “ Callum repeated, now sounding a little bit more normal. 

“ I don’t now who that is? “ 

“ He was - was my -“ Callum couldn’t breathe. Like someone switched off his lung function. Ben passed him his oxygen mask and waited patiently for Callum to continue. “ He was sorta my boyfriend. “ 

Ben’s face went slack. “ in the army? “ It sounded more like a question. 

Callum slowly nodded his head, it was difficult with his head against the pillows. Callum’s eyes were going heavy as he blinked slowly. 

“ I never - never got to tell ‘him I love him. “ he whispered out the last few words before drifting off to sleep. Ben sat there still, unable to think. Callum had another boyfriend? In the army? He wasn’t the first? 

Ben headed out of the room needing some air. 

-/- 

Later on Ben returned back to Callum’s room, full of anxiety. He didn’t know what to expect at all, is Callum still the same? Has Callum got brain damage and will never be the Callum he fell in love with? 

Instead, he walked in and found Callum and Stuart talking.  
“ alright? “ Callum knowledge him. Ben’s eyes widened slightly in hope. 

“ Y-Yeh fine. Are you okay? “ now, went unmentioned. 

“ Yeh I’m fine thanks, bit achy but I’ll survive. “ Callum joked, a smile on his face. Ben nervously smiled back, knowing something is up by Stuart’s tense face. 

“ I’m sure that’s normal after what you’ve been through. “ Stuart agreed. 

Callum hummed, shifting with a wince. Ben sat down opposite Callum deciding not to hold his hand. It feels weird too now, it feels like Callum isn’t his anymore and it’s horrible. 

“ Has the doctors come yet? “ Ben asked them, silently hoping they will do. 

“ they’re - “ The doors open and in comes the Doctor. “ speaking of the devil. “ Callum smirks, a new glint in his eyes. 

Then realisation hits Ben - this Callum, seems more relaxed like the world isn’t weighing him down. Ben doesn’t know which Callum he likes ( obviously both but it is a new change ). This Callum seems so carefree and free from the demons but the other Callum cute and awkward. 

The female doctor smiles at his cheekiness. She looks down at her clipboard for a quick second before looking at them all. 

“ Mr Highway -“ 

“ please just call me Callum. “ He interrupted with a small smile. 

She nods and carries on respectfully. “ Callum would you rather have your family and friends with you or speak on your own? “ She suggests first. 

“ twos better than one! “ Callum laughs at his own sentence. Ben grins softly and Stuart’s lips turn up very slightly. 

“ The swelling has gone down on your brain Callum which is good. Have you noticed any changes in Callum? “ She points the question at Stuart and Ben. 

Ben shifts and looks at her hesitantly. “ Well he seems more cheerful and relaxed. “ 

“ and he ain’t awkward or flustered anymore. “ Stuart adds. 

The doctor hums, writing down what they said. “ it seems that you have a personality transplant Callum. “ She includes Callum into the conversation, quite bluntly. 

“ Is that - How? “ Stuart stutters out, shocked. 

“ Because of the severe swelling on your brain and the damage from the large impact. It has caused the part of the brain to be damaged also. “ the Doctor explained to them all. 

“ is it life threatening? “ Callum blurted out. 

“ no. It just means - you won’t exactly ever be the same again. Like how would remembered you. “ 

Ben felt nauseous building up his throat. 

“ Is it permanent? “ Stuart required. 

She tilted her head to the side, unsure. “ Callum may regain his personality back or never. It really depends on how he improves. “ 

“ wait - Callum forgotten about me when he woke up - is that normal? “ 

“ yes, he did just come out of a 3 week coma. “ The Doctor bluntly said. 

“ When will he come home? “ Ben choked out. 

“ Considering Callum has broken both of his legs he’s immobile. Can he stay at a house without any stairs? “ 

Ben sat up straighter. He’s going to be looking after Callum and that’s final. He needs more time with Callum, he’ll do anything to spend more time with him. 

“ me! He can stay with me. “ 

Stuart grumbled something and stared at him. 

“ Are you willing to be there 24/7 care for him? “ the doctor questioned. “ Callum will need as much support as possible and will need help getting to places. “ 

“ it’s fine. He can stay at my mums. There’s a enough room. “ Ben answered, a little possessively. 

“ Is that okay with you Callum? “ She asked for his input. 

“ more than fine! “ Callum smiled. “ I can spend more time with this hottie can’t i?! “ he joked, reaching over and stroking Ben’s scruffy jaw. Who blushed like a tomato. 

“ Thats sorted then. I’ll get your discharge papers for tomorrow. Till then, have a good rest. “ she smiled and left. 

“ I want to look after my own brother. “ Stuart seethed. 

“ Well you stayin’ at Cals aren’t cha? That has stairs, mine ain’t. He can sleep on the bed sofa. “ Ben smugly said, leaning back with his arms closed over his chest. 

“ It seems fine stu. “ Callum replied. “ If that means I can have his hands all over me - splendid! “ 

Ben choked out a laugh whilst Stuart looked like he was going to combust. 

Ben is going to love looking after Callum. 

-:- 

Ben wheeled Callum into the beales house and accidentally knocking Callum’s broken arm making him gasp. 

“ shit sorry! “ 

“ nah it’s fine. If it’s this Rocky whilst your pushin’ me I’ll hate it if ya rode on me in the bedroom. “ Callum smirked at the innuendo. 

“ cheeky you are Callum Highway. “ 

“ hmm. Extra cheeky in the bedroom too. “ 

Ben chuckled, shaking his head. He wheeled him into the living room and helped Callum into the sofa. Meaning, he had to lift Callum’s legs. 

“ Now, when attractive men have to lift my legs up - I usually expect to be taken on a date first. “ Callum commented when he was now safely sitting on the sofa. “ by the way - you need to cut your finger nails. “ Callum advised him, who had his hands on his hips looking at him with affectionate expression. “ I’ll hate it if you scratched me. “ Callum’s smirk widened. 

“ I don’t know if I prefer this Callum or the other one? “ Ben tilted his head, half teasing. 

Callum shrugged. “ I’m still the Callum you once new. Just the updated version. “ 

“ the dated version? “ Ben repeated, faking confusion. “ oh my days. “ 

Callum pushed his head back and looked at him with a smile. “ I really fancy some chips and a sausage. “ 

“ what kind of sausage? “ Ben said, meaning the different types of sausages to eat. Not the innuendo type. 

“ well, I want a thick, juicy one but i suppose any will do. “ 

“ Are we talking about the same thing or-? “ 

“ I don’t mind. I’ll eat any sausage any day me. “ 

“ right. “ 

“ Have you got a good package on you Ben? “ 

Ben sputtered out a laugh.  
“ it’s decent. “ 

Callum tilted his head and looked straight at Ben’s crotch. Ben blushed like a bloody girl. 

“ Hmmm. Seems big enough to me. “ Callum’s says impressed. “ I’ll differently eat that. “ 

“ Callum! You can’t just say things like that! “ 

“ what!? It’s true! “ 

“ right I’ll get your chips. “ Ben changed the topic. “ And the sausage. “ 

“ Your sausage? “ 

“ no Callum. “ Ben answered. “ Salt or vinegar? “ 

“ Salt is a bit sour isn’t it? Definitely when I’m putting it on your -“ 

“ vinegar it is then! “ Ben shot him down and walked to the back door. 

“ and get the sausage! Don’t damage it as I want to give it a suck later on with my chips!! “ 

‘ This is going to be - excitingly exhausting’ Ben thought. He wouldn’t change anything about it though. Well, maybe the temporary or permanent personality transplant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo the medical information is probably wrong. The brain damage/ personality is probably inaccurate. But it’s fiction. I would like it to be realistic but sometimes- it has to blur between the lines of reality and fictional.  
I kinda like this chapter anyway, I hope people like it too? Don’t find it too weird. 
> 
> * I really hope I haven’t offended ppl with the slight brain damage and made Callum out of character. I just wanted him to be more relaxed and more verbally dirty. I am sorry if I’ve upset ppl, it wasn’t intentional * 
> 
> To the commenter about those prompts, thank you so much for sending me those! I’ll start writing one of them today!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #14 - Ben finding out about chris 
> 
> ( Prompt 1/6)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not post all the prompts in order but I will be posting them when i’ve completed writing them.

Ben didn’t mean to snoop through Callum’s things, but he was tidying away clutter and he’s become a melt now so that’s that. When he accidentally knocked a lid off a box, a few things caught his attention. A army hat, letters and more letters with some candid photographs.   
Ben had a little look, then he was on the bed reading through all the letters because- he was being nosy. Callum had a love interest, his used to be closet case boyfriend loved somebody else. By looking at Callum’s handwriting too and with the dates on. 

Ben didn’t hear the front door open or the footsteps till he felt all the items being busted out of his grasp. 

“ What the hell do you think your doin’! “ Callum screeched, putting all the items back into its home. 

Ben stood up abruptly and looked guilty as hell. “ I didn’t mean to snoop -“ 

Callum angrily laughed at him, making Ben feel even worse and maybe a little - scared? It felt like he was a little child again, being shouted at by Phil and memories of Stacy too. 

“ You didn’t mean to snoop? You were sittin’ on the bed reading through my personal belongings! “ 

“ I dunno why you’re being so weird -“ 

“ Because he meant a lot to me Ben! He was everything and I don’t expect to find my flippin’ boyfriend reading through mine and his letters! “ Callum blurted out, anger evident in his voice. 

“ Callum stop acting so fucking -“ 

“ get out. “ 

Ben looked shocked at Callum’s cold voice. “ h-what? “ 

“ I said get out Ben before I throw you out. “ And by the way Callum was looking at him made Ben move faster out of the flat. He doesn’t understand why Callum is being so weird about a few letters? Okay, maybe he shouldn’t have read them but to get that kind of reaction? It wasn’t needed. It was the first time where he properly saw Callum livid and would never want to see that again. 

Callum heavily sat down on the bed with the letters tight in his grasp. He immediately felt guilty. He shouldn’t have treated Ben like that, but, it touched a nerve. He felt exposed, only him and Chris saw what was said and to have someone else ( he knows Ben isn’t just someone else ) reading what they used to have. It felt invaded.   
Plus, all the stress Callum has had with work ( it isn’t an excuse but more valid points to support Callum’s reaction ), with his own guilt with Whitney, Jonno, Stuart, his own Mental Health - he just snapped. Unfortunately, Ben was the last straw. 

Callum got into his baggy trackies and hoodie, needing to calm down himself. He put away the box neatly back into its original place and walked into the living room. The flat was quiet without Ben and he hated it. They always spent their hours with each other after work, to have a takeaway away or a date or Callum cooking. Now Callum has fucked it all up. 

Callum - I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted like that, come home? x 

He hit send and huffed out a loud sigh. He really hopes he hasn’t blown it with Ben, with his own stupidity. 

The door opens quietly 10 minutes later and Ben walks in, on edge like he doesn’t know what to do or how to act. Callum stands up and hugs his boyfriend, hating the vulnerable look he put on Ben’s face. 

“ I’m so sorry baby. “ He murmurs in Ben’s shoulder. 

Ben tightens his grip around Callum’s waist. “ I shouldn’t have looked through your stuff. “ he spoke into Callum’s chest, his words slightly muffled. 

Callum pulled away from his boyfriend and brought them both to the sofa. He sat down and laced their fingers together. 

“ I should tell ya. “ Callum started off, uncomfortably and heavily. 

Ben frowned slightly, feeling himself internally dreading for whats to come. “ Course. “ 

Callum took another deep breath. “ Chris and me - we - we used to be together- kind of. “ 

“ Kind of? “ 

“ In the army. I still - in the closet but I developed feelings for him and - I loved him. “ 

“ and he loved you back? “ 

Callum nodded, blinking back tears. “ We never had - sex just intimate in other ways. “ 

“ what happened to him? “ Ben asked softly. 

“ He died. “ Callum simply said. 

“ Cal I’m so sorry -“ 

“ s’not your fault. “ He shrugged, cutting him off. “ Just never got to tell ‘him I loved him. “ 

“ He would’ve known. “ 

“ He did say in the letters and his sister told me. “ 

“ You went to the funeral? “ Ben didn’t know why he sounded surprised. 

“ A year ago now. “ 

“ when did he die? “ 

“ Today. “ 

Ben’s eyebrows shot up and mentally kicked himself. “ and that’s why you reacted like that. It’s the day of his death and I was readin’ through personal stuff -“ he bit his lip, feeling utterly guilty. 

“ It’s fine Ben, it just - it was just for me and him you know? When I saw ya readin’ through it - it felt invaded. “ Callum explained, heavily. “ I’m not guilty of him or not guilty of you but - Chris still means a load to me. I’ll always be guilty for not telling him how I feel. “ 

“ It’s not your fault Cal, if his sister knew about you and ‘him - it was possible that he knew you loved him too. “ 

Callum didn’t say anything, unable to speak too overwhelmed for some reason. 

“ It’ll be the same with me and Paul you know? If I saw someone rooting through our stuff - I would’ve freaked out. “ Ben opened up, trying to make Callum understand and not feel the odd one out. 

“ I’m still sorry for the way I reacted. I hate seein’ you look so scared. “ 

“ It’s fine. “ Ben smiled weakly, meaning it. “ And anyway - both of us know I’m the stronger one. “ 

Callum chuckled, wiping away his tears. He doesn’t even know why he so so emotional. “ ‘cos I’m such a big softie. “ 

Ben tilted his head to the side, a little lustful smile developing. “ well - you got that right -“ he reached down into Callum’s crotch and stroked him through the fabric. 

“ Sex mad you are. “ 

Ben hummed along, pressing a kiss to Callum’s lips still teasing Callum’s now hard on. “ Especially when I’ve got a boyfriend like you. “ 

“ Think it’s the other way ‘round mate. “ 

“ ain’t ya mate. “ Ben snipped back. 

“ Definitely not. “ Callum whispered, against Ben’s lips and kissed him. They had bit of a snogging session on the sofa before ben was straddling Callum and lead to sex on the couch. 

They both panted in sync with Ben half laying on his boyfriend still on the settee. Ben rested his arm against Callum’s flushed, sweaty chest and kissed him softly again. 

“ Was Chris your first love then? With a bloke? “ Ben said it before he even thought about it. 

“ Had few crushes but yeh - Chris was the first I loved. Then you came along. “ 

“ You are a dark horse. “ Ben murmured, joking. 

“ I wouldn’t say that. “ 

“ I’m still guilty though. “ Ben started off, changing the topic. Callum waited for him to continue but he never did. Callum squeezed the part where’s a gap between the bottom rib and the hip. To encourage him to carry on talking. “ for looking through your stuff - “ Callum tensed and Ben mentally kicked himself for the wording. “ - personal belongings. “ ben changed the wording to the best suiting. 

“ it’s fine Ben. Honestly, I just, i felt exposed that’s all. I’m sorry for upsetting ya. “ 

“ Like wise. “ 

Callum nuzzled his nose into the crook of Ben’s shoulder, cuddling himself into his boyfriend. 

“ you cold or something?! “ Ben laughed at him. 

“ yeh. “ Grumbled Callum. 

“ Come on then loverboy - let’s keep you nice and warm again. “ Ben slid down Callum’s body. 

“ Just another excuse for sex. “ Callum smirked, his fingers gripping Ben’s sweaty hair. 

“ Hmm - of course. We need to build up our energy levels don’t we! “ 

“ why? “ 

“ gonna play fifa and have a takeaway. “ Ben casually said whilst sucking Callum off. 

Callum didn’t know how he could multitask. All thoughts went away when Ben did that thing to him and yeh -

The afternoon was very eventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who’ve shown support ( or liked ) regarding to chapters/fics. It is highly appreciated :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3.ballum wedding 
> 
> Prompt - 2/6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add a lot more but I didn’t want this to be so long. Idk, as it’s a one shot and not an actual fic??? 
> 
> Hope you like this! :)

Ben has been thinking of marrying Callum for a while now, borderline 5 months to be precise. Ben wants to be a husband, wants to be a husband to Callum and Callum to be his husband. That is why he’s far away from Walford as possible, to not get seen looking at rings and not to ruin the surprise. 

Ben stands in the shop where all the Male ring bands are, stuck standing there biting his thumb nail picking which one is the one for the both of them. Plain and simple but not too simple that it’s boring but unique enough to be special. So, not too much pressure then. 

“ Sir? Could I ‘elp you? “ A woman steps aside him, a welcoming smile on her face. 

Ben turns and looks ay her nervously. He doesn’t even know why he is nervous, maybe because this means so much to him. It needs to be the perfection of perfection. 

“ I - Err Yeh i’m looking for a r-ring for my boyfriend. “ Ben stuttered out. 

He can talk loudly about his sex life in public but can’t produce the sentence to another human about a ring. 

The woman’s smile widened and looked genuinely interested. “ Oh how lovely. “ she walked to the Male rings displayed and Ben followed. “ We have a wide selection of Male rings. Is there a particular ring you’re looking for?” 

“ simple but not boring. “ 

The woman nodded her head, seeming to know which one will be to Ben’s liking. She got out a brown leather box and opened the lid to revel a dark grey band. It had a small thin line running in the middle and it was shiny. 

Ben’s eyes immediately widened and he knew that was the one. “ Would you engrave them? “ 

“ certainly. “ She approved. “ what would you like to be engraved? “ 

“ Mine & his. “ 

“ You can tell you really love him. “ The woman commented, without any nastiness to the words. 

Ben blushed slightly, frowning.   
“ how so? “ 

“ your face brightens up and seem the happiest man on earth. “ 

And maybe he is. He is finally happy. 

-/- 

“ Babe I’m ho-me! “ Ben cheerfully sang out as he closed the door to Callum’s flat. He put the bag of food onto the counter and frowned. The flat was quiet. No Lexi being loud and her usual loud self, no Callum singing. Strange. 

Ben - You not home? 

After a few minutes without a reply. Ben started to put away the food into the cupboards and fridge. Callum was meant to pick up Lexi ( and he’d obviously had or he or Lola would’ve got a call from the school ). So Callum must have a reason why they’re late. 

20 minutes later Callum and Lexi come walking through the door. Callum huffing a bit and his cheeks were red. Ben strolls to him giving him a peck on the cheek and lips whilst helping him taking off his coat. Whilst Lexi takes hers off too. 

“ You been runnin’? “ Ben suspicions are up. 

Callum clears his dry throat. “ yeh I took Lex to park and lost track of time. Sorry. “ 

“ I wanted to play on the swings! “ Lexi shouts happily after Callum stops speaking. 

Ben laughs fondly. “ Did ya? Did daddy Callum push ya high up? “ Callum watches them both affectionately. 

“ My feet didn’t even touch the ground! Better than you dad! “ 

Ben fake gasps. “ My broken heart! “ 

Lexi laughs. “ Your heart isn’t broken dad! “ 

Ben grins at her and pick her up giving her a bear hug. “ You little rascal. “ 

Callum steps towards them both tucking the loose strange of hair behind her small ear. “ You ran away from daddy didn’t you? “ 

“ I was only playin’ “ Lex innocently smiled. 

“ Me and dad will have to have the triple chocolate ice cream now won’t we? “ Callum teases. 

“ No! Daddy! “ 

Callum nods, faking being strict.   
“ There’s one thing you can do though. “ 

“ what!? “ Lexi replies, naively. 

“ Gave me a massive cuddle! “ Callum says brightly opening his arms. Ben puts her down and Callum holds her, props her on his hip. 

“ Muppets. “ Ben jokes. 

“ but we’re your muppets though. “ Callum says fondly. Ben’s face softens even more and pecks Callum on the side of the mouth. He presses a little kiss to Lexis head too. 

“ Right come on then - you get changed, you don’t want to get hyperthermia. “ Ben instructs her and she frowns at him, not understanding. 

Callum speaks just before Ben. “ you don’t want to turn into an ice cube do ya!? “ he tickles lexis neck as he says it. 

Lexi shakes her head and walks into Callum’s and Ben’s bedroom, closing the door and getting changed. 

Ben breathes out a sigh. “ You cooking? “ 

“ Of course, considering I’m the only one who can cook. “ Callum replies smugly, walking past Ben and getting the ingredients out for a Spaghetti Bolognese. 

“ Err I have you know I can cook beans on toast. “ 

“ Oh my god how could I forget that? You should be on Masterchef Ben. You’re too good. “ Callum sarcastically says, putting up the mushrooms. Ben prods him in the side. 

“ Cheeky you are. “ 

“ It’s the truth! “ Callum says innocently before nodding to the top cupboard. “ Could you get the Bolognese from the cupboard for me? “ 

Ben stops leaning against the counter to get the Bolognese and struggles to reach the handle. 

“ You havin’ bit of trouble there? “ Callum smirks, looking at his struggling boyfriend. 

Ben chokes out a laugh, offended. “ no. “ Callum makes a ‘ Yeh okay face ‘ and goes back to cutting up the extra tomatoes. Ben goes on his tip toes and only his finger tips can reach the glass jar. 

“ this is actually painful. “ Callum comments, crossing his arms over his chest watching him. The half cut tomatoes now forgotten about on the cutting board. 

Ben huffs faked annoyed. “ you’ve done that on purpose. “ 

Callum frowns. “ what? Put a jar into a cupboard? “ 

“ on the top one. “ 

“ Oh the irony! We must call the police and have me arrested for putting things into the top cupboard. “ 

Ben makes a quick move and tickles Callum’s sides. “ Your attitude is getting out of hand! “ 

Callum giggles. “ get off me shorty! “ 

“ Never! “ 

Lexi comes back into the room and frowns with a slight smile on her face. “ What you doing daddies? “ 

Ben pulls away from his boyfriend, slightly panting. “ Daddy Callum is making fun of daddies height! “ 

“ you are small dad. “ Lexi agrees. 

“ See! “ A look of glee on Callum’s face. “ Even Lexi agrees with me! “ 

“ I feel so betrayed right now. “ Ben comments, faking wiping away a tear from his eye. 

“ Oh it’s okay dad. “ Lexi says soothingly. She hugs her dad’s waist. “ it’s alright to be small. “ 

Ben makes a hum in the back of his throat stroking his daughters hair. “ I’ll live. “ 

“ we could get you a ladder or a step box for you Ben. “ Callum comforts him. “ everything has a conclusion. “ 

Ben turns to him, pointing a not threatening finger at him. “ you get me either one of those things you’ll regret it. “ 

Callum laughs at the banter.   
“ I’ll best carrying on with the tea then. “

Lexi looks up at Ben. “ could we play on the x-box? “ 

“ Of course sweetheart. “ 

Ben sets up the x-box for Lexi and when she’s sorted. He sits down on the sofa relaxing. This is what he wants forever, Callum cooking, Lexi playing on the x-box and maybe have a few babies along the way. Ben wants their forever, he never knew he would be so domestic. He always thought he’ll be the one Mitchell who would be unsettled, lonely and only finding comfort in one night flings. But now, he has a boyfriend ( soon to be husband if Callum says yes. Ben hopes Callum will say yes ), a beautiful intelligent daughter and a happy life with a successful business. 

Only, he doesn’t know when to propose to Calum. He needs to get the ring too. Everything will fall into place. 

-/- 

“ Why are we here dad? “ Lexi requires, looking up at him still holding his hand as they walk into the engagement shop. 

“ dad is going to propose to daddy. “ Ben tells her softly, internally panicking because Would Lexi be okay with that? 

Lexi gasps excitedly. “ When? When! “ 

“ when the time is right sweetheart. “ Ben tucks her blonde hair behind her ear. 

“ Can I be there?! “ 

“ of course sweetheart. “ Ben promises. 

“ ah hello. “ The same lady returns to the glass desk who served Ben the other week. “ Are you ready to collect your rings? “ Ben smiles, nodding his head. The staff worker goes to collect the ring. Ben and Lexi have a little look around waiting for her to come back. 

The rings are beautiful. Ben can’t believe a band can look so angelic. “ Dad they’re amazing! “ she lets out, shocked. 

“ Should be for that price. “ Ben mutters, but he has a smile on his face. He always does now and he secretly loves it. 

When Ben and Lex are walking out of the shop with the bag tightly in his hold Lexi looks up at him. “ When are you going to propose dad? “ 

“ Tomorrow. “ nerves traveling up his spine. 

“ Could we get a happy meal to celebrate? “ 

Ben chuckles. “ of course. “ 

-/- 

“ Thank you so much. “ 

Callum caught the end of Ben’s conversation on the phone. “ One of your dodgy deals?” Callum assumes, sliding his hands around his boyfriends waist also propping his chin on top of his head. 

Ben smiles naturally kissing Callum’s jaw. “ Nope. “ 

Callum fake gasps. “ A change.” 

“ I’ve actually booked you, me and lex a table tomorrow in a restaurant. “ Ben explains, turning around in Callum’s embrace looking up at him. 

“ What’s brought us the pleasure? “ Callum murmurs. 

Ben shrugged, the smile still plastered on his face. “ I wanted to treat my family didn’t I? “ 

“ I love you so much Ben Mitchell. “ Callum pecked him on the lips before pressing deeper and they kissed hungrily. 

“ And by the way -“ Ben pushed back in to kiss Callum repeatedly. “ - I love you so much too Callum Highway -“ he told him, full of love. 

Callum pushed Ben against the counter and basically leaning his body against his boyfriends. They kissed for ages till their lips were red and swollen. 

“ Why you back here anyway? “ Ben required curiously, pulling their lips away. 

“ not happy for me to be here? “ Callum faked disappointed. 

“ No have course I am. Just wondering. “ 

“ It’s my lunch break init? I wanted to see a certain someone too. “ Callum grinned. 

“ How long you got? “ 

“ till 1. “ 

Ben hummed happily. “ We’ve got enough time. “ he dragged Callum into the bedroom. 

-:- 

Ben brushed down his browny red shirt and let out a deep sigh. This is the night where everything changes. The brown leather small box sitting comfortably in his suit matching trousers. He puts on his blazer and checks the time, half an hour before they have to leave. 

“ wow. “ Callum looks speechless. “ You look - amazing. “ 

A grin appears on his face. “ you don’t look so bad yourself. “ he neatly does Callum’s tie and fixes Callum’s own navy suit blazer. 

“ Where’s the little drama queen? “ 

“ I’m lookin’ at him. “ 

Ben playfully slapped Callum’s arm who faked hurt. “ Lexi. “ 

“ She’s sorting out her hair. “ Callum informed him. “ You can tell she’s yours. “ 

“ Perfection takes time. “ 

“ shouldn’t it come naturally? “ 

“ shut up Callum. “ 

-/- 

“ Ben how are you affording this? “ Callum said in hushed tones, slightly leaning over whilst being mindful of the candles. 

“ Well I had a deal didn’t I? “ Ben replied, like it was obvious. 

“ Shouldn’t you be saving -“ 

“ Cal, I love you very much yeh? But please don’t start sounding like Kathy. “ 

Noted. 

“ Dad this is a massive place! “ Lexi spoke, slightly louder than a whisper. “ It’s like the dragons! Dark with fire to use as light! “ 

“ And Callum’s the goblin! “ Ben cheekily added. Callum kicked Ben’s ankle under the table. 

“ And What does that make you? “ Callum asked him, cocking an eyebrow. 

Ben fakes thinking. “ That makes me a prince. “ 

“ aren’t they meant to be tall? “ Lexi genuinely seemed confused. Whilst Callum choked out a laugh at Ben’s not impressed face. 

“ don’t worry Ben. I’ll buy ya some shoes with a higher soul on. “ 

“ I actually want to kill ya. “ 

“ no you don’t. “ Callum smiled innocently. 

Ben shared the affectionate look. He nearly forgot he has a box in his pocket and he’s afraid of forgetting to propose to him.   
Actually he can’t even feel the box anymore. Ben’s face changes to panic and starts patting down his pockets till he feels it and lets out a breath of relief. Only, Lexi and Callum are watching him confused. 

“ You losing the plot or somethin’? “ Callum plainly said. 

Ben shook his head, sliding his hand across the table and holding his soon to be husband or fiancée. 

“ Thought I forgot my wallet. “ 

“ ah. “ 

They reluctantly pulled away when the food was served. Lexi put her colouring book next to her and started eating her chicken nuggets and chips. Callum started into his steak, chips and salad. Only, Ben couldn’t. He was too nervous, he didn’t know when to propose to Callum. Would it be now? During their dinner or afterwards? 

Ben internally shook his head and started to eat his meal too. Just relax. It’ll come naturally. 

Lexi could tell her dad’s anxiety. So, she helped him along. 

“ daddy? “ Lexi asked Callum. 

“ yeh princess? “ Callum replied, still chewing on the meat. 

“ have you ever thought of marrying Dad? “ Lexi bluntly asked him. Ben’s eyes widened not expecting her to ask that, but the look she gave him made him proud. Their daughter is too clever for her age. 

Callum rested the knife and fork down onto the half eaten plate of food. He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “ Yeh. All the time. “ 

Ben’s heart did a summer-salt. 

“ When would you like to marry him? “ Lexi asked, as well as eating her chips. 

“ I’ll marry him right now if that was even possible. “ Callum truthfully replied. Ben sat frozen, Callum felt the same. Both of them wanted to marry each other. He can’t believe it. 

Lexi kicked Ben’s leg to egg him on with the proposal. Ben cleared his throat feeling like he was about to collapse from the nerves but when he saw Callum’s cute little confused face as he slid of the seat and went on one knee. Everything faded away, like it was only them three in the whole restaurant. 

“ B-Ben - What you doin’? “ Callum stuttered out, noticing the room falling silent. Everybody’s eyes solely on them. 

Ben took a deep breath. Lexi had a massive grin on her face and Callum looked like he was about to cry from so many positive and overwhelmed emotions. 

“ I’ve been wanting to marry you for so long Cal. “ Ben started off shakily. “ I always thought I was the mess up of the family, the odd one out who could never love or be loved by anybody. But, you Callum Highway, came into my life and made me want to change. You made me fall in love again, you accept Lexi as your own. You are everything I want, need and you are just my other half. “ Ben watery smiled, tears falling down his cheeks. He gripped the ring tighter in his fingers. “ What I’m tryna say is - will you marry me Callum Highway? “ 

Callum wiped away his own tears. “ Yes! Yes of course I will you muppet! “ He choked out. Ben’s smile widened and could lighten up the whole universe. He slid the ring onto Callum’s finger as the whole restaurant clapped and whistled to celebrate them both. Lexi was jumping from excitement. Ben and Callum kissed before hugging each other and never wanting to let go. 

“ For the married to be couple! “ A female staff member smiled as she handled them both a bottle of champagne on the the house. 

As everything quieted down, Callum let out a shaky breath still in utter shock. “ I can’t believe it - cant believe we’re gonna be married. “ he let out but had a smile plastered on his face. 

“ Well you’re gonna be tied down with us forever now. “ Ben grinned, squeezing Callum’s hand. Their wedding rings glistening in the candlelight room. 

“ I can’t wait. “ and he meant it. He really did. 

/:/ 

“ I now pronounce you both Husband and Husband! “ 

Callum lunged for Ben’s lips. They hungrily kissed as the whole square and Mitchell’s and Stuart clapped and whistled. Lexi clapping with contentment, Lola wiping away a tear and maybe Jay who coughed making out he wasn’t crying from how happy and proud he is. 

They have finally fought their demons and are together forever. The best thing Ben and Callum ever did was admit who they were because- they wouldn’t have had this otherwise. 

Happiness.   
Love.   
Amazing sex.   
A family.   
A soulmate.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #16 - Callum with Lexi and Kathy
> 
> Prompt - 3/6

“ ‘ello Callum. “ Kathy smiled, warmly. She held up her own mug to make a point. “ You want a drink love? “ 

“ Err I’ll have a tea thanks. “ Replied Callum, giving him a small smile. He stood awkwardly for a short moment before nodding towards the living room. “ Lexi through there is she? “ 

She let a little chuckle. “ has been all mornin’ love. “ 

Callum shot another smile and walked into the living room where he was hit in the face with fake spider webs. 

“ Flippin’ heck. “ He gasped and the room was filled with giggles of laughter. 

“ It’s fake Callum! “ Lexi laughed at him, running to him and giving him a hug. Her small arms wrapping around his waist. 

“ You’ve been busy haven’t ya? “ Callum guessed, stroking her head looking around the messy room. It has lots of Halloween decorations with big and small black spiders, ghosts, witches and the lot. 

Lexi pulled away from him walking over to the filled table and getting a Halloween book.   
“ Daddy read this to me he did - he did all the characters really good! “ 

“ Did he? “ Callum says. “ He does have that dark vibe about him. “ he joked. 

Lexi faked gasped. “ Callum! “ She lets out the two syllables. “ 

Callum fakes surrender. “ We don’t want Ben the Creep Reaper to get Do we? “ 

Lexi laughs, gulliblbely. “ no. “   
Callum grins and tickles her cheek. 

Kathy then walks into the living room and immediately smiles at them both bonding. She has accepted Callum the first time she met him. She knew Callum was a good lad, very respectful and sincerely and even sees him as one of her own.   
She adores seeing Callum and Lexi building a Father and Daughter relationship. 

“ here you go love. “ Kathy smiles casually, placing the large mug onto the tea mat. 

“ Thanks Kathy. “ 

“ Callum? “ Lexi pauses waiting for Callum to look at her curiously. “ Can you dress up as a ghost? The costume doesn’t fit on daddy. “ she said disappointed. 

Callum’s eyebrows borrow. “ Why doesn’t it fit on him? “ 

Kathy giggles and both of them face her. “ He’s too short. The costume is like a tent on ‘him. “ 

“ Bet he wouldn’t be too pleased hearing you pick on his height. “ Callum chuckled. 

“ He’s as small as a dwarf! “ Lexi exclaimed. 

“ We should get a gnome with Ben’s name on it? Put it outside and have it say ‘ Ben Mitchell ‘. “ Callum suggested, a massive grin showing. 

“ He would probably go ape! “ Kathy huffed out a laugh. 

“ So can you Callum? “ Lexi asked, impatiently. “ Dress up as a ghost!?” 

“ yeh of course. “ He said, in honesty. Lexi beamed and ran to get the costume and gave it to him. 

“ I’ve got make up too for your face! “ 

“ What? My face isn’t pretty enough as it is? “ he joked. 

“ no. “ 

“ charming Lex. “ Callum faked offended and shot Kathy a non threatening stare. He went to the bathroom and got changed into the costume. 

Kathy looked at her granddaughter, still holding the mug of tea. “ Lex, you know that was rude of you. “ 

The little girl looked down. “ it was a joke. “

“ I know sweetheart , but you sometimes need to reconsider what you’re about to say. “ Kathy smiled at her, a little patronising. She squeezed her shoulder before walking back into the kitchen to do some cleaning up. Lexi didn’t understand what Kathy meant by ‘reconsider ‘ but she knew by the tone what she said was wrong. 

“ This Alright then Lex? “ Callum gestured to the white costume draped over his body. All you could see is his eyes and feet. 

( the arms of the costume went over his limbs to move about in ). 

“ I’m sorry Callum for what I said. “ Lexi apologised, genuinely sounding so upset.   
Callum walked over to her and crouched down to her eye level. 

“ hey it’s alright, you’ve got nothin’ to be sorry for. “ 

“ but nanny said I should re-consider what I say. “ Lexi vulnerability said. 

Callum frowned slightly, not knowing why Kathy told Lexi that. “ I know you were joking Lex. There’s nothing to be sorry ‘bout. Okay? “ he smiled, trying to encourage the girl to be happy again. 

She smiled weakly at the older bloke. “ You look silly like that. “ 

He chuckled. “ Bet I look better than daddy Ben don’t I? “ 

“ Even better. “ She said softly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. He pulled her up and placed her on his hip. 

“ Should we see daddy at The Arches then? Give him a bit of a surprise? “ Callum suggested, cocking an eyebrow with a honest smile on his face. He loves Lexi, he really sees her as his own child. 

“ Yeh! “   
Callum laughed at her enthusiasm. 

-/- 

Callum pressed his finger against his lips to silence Lexi. Ben was working on an engine, he was fully concentrated and focused on his task. That’s why he didn’t notice nor hear the two of them walking in. 

Callum left Lexi by one of the cars silently telling her to stay put. He sneaked up to his boyfriend and pinched Ben’s bum. Who let out a loud yelp and flung backwards with a jump. He banged his head on the lid of the car door thing. 

“ Fuckin’ hell!! “ Ben shouted, from the shock and pain. He turned to face Callum and jumped again. 

Ah. Callum was wearing the ghost costume that he forgot he was wearing. 

“ What you think’ doin’ ! “ Ben gasped out. Lexi giggled at her dad’s reaction. 

“ I wanted to surprise ya! “ Callum defended himself. “ but who knew the tough man Ben Mitchell would Yelp like a girl!!! “ he barked out a laugh, bending forward. Lexi was laughing too. 

“ Dad! You should’ve seen your face! “ 

Ben flushed like a tomato.   
“ I didn’t hear ya. “ 

“ Your face! “ Callum laughed harder. 

Ben couldn’t help but feel the tug at his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. The screwdriver still tightly in his hand. 

“ Muppets. “ he grumbled, but he honestly loved seeing his boyfriend and daughter getting along. Calum and Lexi calmed down and he pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips and hugged him. He wrapped an arm around his waist and brought his other arm out for Lexi to join in the hug also. 

“ Lex told us this was too big on ya. “ Callum was delighted in telling Ben this. Who blushed further with embarrassment. 

“ mum didn’t tell ya did she? “ Ben looked pained. 

“ oh yeh she did. How this was too big on ya because your a shortie! “ 

“ I want the world to swallow me up! “ 

“ dad that’s impossible. “ Lexi commented. 

“ Don’t worry lex. The world is too big for our little Ben. “ Callum smiled cheekily, patting his boyfriends head. Who grumbled and prodded Callum’s rib. 

“ Your gonna regret saying that! “ 

“ Me too. “ Callum agreed. But he didn’t care. 

All three of them laughed together by a broken car feeling this is the most normal In a while.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3.adopting a teenager or toddler
> 
> Prompt- 4/6

Now Ben and Callum have been married for 3 years and within those 2 years they both wanted kids. They wanted to try adoption first, for the same reasons actually. 

To give that children a home, a warm loving household that is nothing like their childhood. At first, it was difficult with Ben’s track record. When the woman told Ben that it may be near impossible for them to adopt a child because of him. He cried, when they got back their house in Walford. He sobbed like he just found out his dog died. 

He felt he ruined everything, because of past mistakes. He felt dreadful. Till the manger gave him a second chance. Callum obviously was there to support his husband and so was Lexi. She could tell her daddy was upset about something and she knew that he made mistakes ( “ I just made some terrible mistakes sweetheart, when I was younger “ ). 

When the adoption letters came through Ben cried again. They could have a kid, they could actually start making a family of their own. Only, because of Callum’s clean track record they were more pleased and they told Ben that social services would come to their house. To check everything, Ben wanted to throttle her. He felt like he was a monster, having to have people access him when he was home with his husband and their child? But he agreed, he couldn’t stop this for Callum. He’ll do anything for him. 

It’d taken 6 months for everything to finally work out. Ben and Callum felt terrible that they had to go to an orphanage and see which individual they liked best. It felt like they were picking out a dog. 

But, 3 toddlers tugged at their heart strings. Two boys and a girl. The 3 children were a gift made from heaven, they were so sweet and cute and god Callum wanted to bring them home there and then. 

With loads of visits. Loads of chats. Social workers. Letters and signatures. 

They finally brought them home. Ben and Callum remembered everything they liked and disliked. So, they put the two boys in a bedroom with bunk beds. The walls were scattered with astronauts and dinosaurs, Callum joked saying the dinosaurs were chasing after the astronaut. The two boys laughed and it was the best thing. Ben brought them a present, a astronaut Lego set. But the woman who accesses everything disapproved. She told him that he can’t buy their love and Ben was offended. 

The girl was a daddies girl, she took a liking to Callum. It seemed she was already fond of him. Lexi got on with all 3 of them. 

It was made to be. 

Lexi loved the concept of a little sister and 2 younger brothers. The little girl slept in Lexie’s room. Ben and Callum spilt the bedroom into two, with one half ( of the largish room ) being the little girls. She loved princess and football just like Lexi. Whilst Lexi kept her side of the room. 

But now all that stress and problems didn’t matter anymore. Not when all their children were asleep. Ben and Callum kissed every one of them goodnight. This felt right, normal. They never thought in a billion years they would have this. But, they’ve made it. 

They’ve finally made it to the happy place and they can’t wait to expand their little family. With pets also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a bit unrealistic maybe but I just wanted them both to have kids. To have those children a better childhood than Ben or Callum.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #18 - A positive date where they go... 
> 
> Prompt- 5/6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in a day! Aren’t u lucky chaps! 
> 
> I wanted to post this before tonight’s episode as this takes place a few weeks ( maybe 1/half of 2 weeks ) after the 1st date. 
> 
> * no spoilers as such, just hints at how the date failed because of Ben’s insecurities :((( *

Ben walked into the funeral parlour and found it empty. Till he hears the sound of writing and follows the sound till he sees the sight of Callum writing in his office. 

“ alright? “ Ben supposes, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and ankles crossed. 

Callum briefly looks at him, a look of annoyance and confusion evident. “ Yeh fine. “ he puts the finished piece of work into a brown envelope and seals it closed. Ben watches him work on another work load and feels quite offended that Callum is blanking him. 

Okay, maybe he has a reason too. 

“ Been busy ‘ere then? “ Ben comes up with another reply. It feels dead and awkward. He’s never the awkward person but when Callum is involved - he gets all flustered. 

“ Signing dead people off and sending them away. You know the usual. “ Callum casually states out, still not making any attempt to be sociable around Ben. 

He huffs, frustrated. “ Cal stop blanking me will ya. “ 

“ I ain’t doin’ nowt. “ 

“ You’re being cold with me. “ Ben says quietly. He hates it. 

Callum drops his pen onto the half finished work and leans back against the desk chair. Ben notices Callum has a new suit - a very dark blue suit. It brings out the blue in his eyes, how it highlights his pale skin. 

Callum looks fucking amazing. 

“ And you want me to tell you why? No? “ Callum tilts is head, this new confidence about him startles Ben. 

“ I’m Sorry. “ 

“ Likewise. “ 

“ I never meant to ‘urt ya. “ 

“ did a good job on that didn’t you Ben? “ 

Ben huffs out another breath and rubs his forehead. A headache becoming to form, he isn’t good with talking that much. But he’s trying to be better. 

“ I - I let my insecurities get in the way. “ 

“ and that makes it okay? “ 

“ No. well -“ Callum gives him a look. “ No. “ firmly replied Ben. 

Callum sighs, tired of this between them both. “ I’m tired. “ 

Ben swoops in quickly when there’s a second silence. “ Go to sleep then. “ 

“ I’m tired of this -“ he gestured between them both. He had the audacity to look casual about it too which also hurt and pissed Ben off. 

He’s really blown it this time hasn’t he? The one time of happiness and he fucks it up. 

“ Don’t say that. “ Ben quietly pleads, steps forward with his fingers dancing on the edge of the opposite seat. 

“ It’s true. I’m too tired of this Ben between us. We’re too intense with each other, when we’re angry or upset we lash out with each other. It ain’t healthy. “ 

“ But doesn’t the good out weigh the bad? “ Ben felt tears in his eyes, his heart slowly dying hearing how defeated Callum is. 

“ In most cases yeh but Ben - maybe we ain’t meant to be. “ Callum starts, his expression changing to sad. All Ben wants is to cup his jaw and tell him everything will be alright. “ Everything you said was true. Maybe we were just too lonely and found comfort and company in each other. “ 

Ben firmly shook his head, letting the separate tears fall down his cheeks. “ no don’t - everything I said was wrong Cal. I was just - just tryna push ya away! “ 

“ and that’s the point Ben. We push each other away and it’s tirin’. “ Callum half whines. 

Ben strolls to the side of the desk taking in Callum’s hand and holding onto them like a life line. His eyes are pleading. 

“ p-please don’t do this Callum - please just - just don’t write us off. “ 

Callum inter-whines their fingers and squeezes Ben’s hand. Highway has a sad look on his face and his eyes have lost their usual lightness. 

“ I need too. We need to just - be friends or just strangers. We cant keep going on like this. “   
Callum looses his grip and slides his hands out of Ben’s. Who stares at him in devastation. Ben slowly gets up and walks out. Both men feeling their hearts shattering. 

-:- 

Jay slides into the seat next to Ben in The Queen Vic. He eyes up the several glasses of beer and whiskey. Jay looks at Ben who looks like he’s been told he’s dying tomorrow. 

“ What’s up with you? “ Jay requires, curiously. 

“ You. “ Ben half slurs. “ be’cos of you I’ve lost the love of me’ life’. “ 

Jay frowns. “ Who? Callum? “ 

“ who’ else Jay? “ Ben grumbles, taking a large gulp of whiskey not wincing from the strong after taste down his throat. 

“ Well talk to him then. “ 

Ben barks out a bitter laugh. “ don’t you think I haven’t already done that? “ he lets his head fall against the wooden barrier of the seats. “ he hates me. “ 

“ I’m sure he doesn’t, aren’t cha being a bit dramatic? “ 

“ From the way he looked at me. I could tell I lost ‘him. “ 

Jay went into professional mode, listening intensely like how he’ll deal with grieving widows. “ how did he look at ya? “ 

“ Like I was a stranger. “ Ben tells him, deep in his throat, heartbroken. 

“ well win him back. “ 

“ Its too late. “ 

“ You’re Ben Mitchell. You never go down without a fight. “ 

Ben sighed deeply. “ he don’t want me no more. “ he takes a last gulp full of his whiskey standing up from the table. “ Hope your snide comments were worth it jay. “ he bitterly tells him, through gritted teeth. He hard slaps jay on the shoulder and sulks off. 

Jay closes his eyes in guilt.   
All this is his fault. 

-/- 

Ben slumps onto his back when he wakes up in his slumber. The alcohol he consumed yesterday is mocking him today. For one thing, he’s glad he is deaf because he can’t hear anything and that helps his banging headache. 

Yesterday was a disaster. He knew he’s fucked up with his relationship with Callum but he didn’t know it was that bad. But one thing jay was right about was - Ben Mitchell never goes down without a fight. He is determined to fight for Callum. 

Ben’s got a plan and it will be successful. 

-/- 

Ben - meet me at mine, 18:00. Do not be late! 

Ben breathed out a nervous breath. He looked at the displayed table and felt this weird feeling go over him. 

Ben has cooked. He has actually cooked a meal that hasn’t gone to shit. Steak and chips. The absolute classic, with beers and 2 candles sitting in the middle of the table. Where a deep red cloth lays in the middle. Ben has even gone to the trouble of buying rose petals and scattering them on the table. Oh no not the original red rose colour but the light pink one. 

Ben is really pushing out all the stops okay?! 

Ben brushes down his most smart shirt and takes a swig of his beer to calm his nerves. He wants to show Callum that he is deadly serious about them. He doesn’t want Callum thinking he’s just after the sex ( one of the reasons but not the main one ). 

Ben jumps a little bit at the knock against the back door. He checks the time and it is only 10 minutes to 6, Callum’s early. Must be good then? 

Ben smiles at him, genuinely happy to see the other man standing there. “ Your early. “ 

“ is that okay? You want me to come back in 10 minutes time or something? “ Callum replies, a bit grumpy.

Ben shakes his head, steps aside letting the other man in. He is still wearing that beautiful tight fitted suit. Ben knows that Callum is allowed to be a bit grumpy because 1, when Callum hasn’t eaten anything in a long time he gets a bit snappy. Number 2, Ben was a bit of an arsehole to him when they tried the 2nd date and finally number 3, Callum has his ‘walls’ protecting him and is being dismissive. The same like Ben. 

What a match. 

Ben guides Callum into the living room and Callum immediately looks taken aback. The room is in a dark casted glow, the table looks beautiful in its poor lighting. It is romantic, he never knew Ben had it in him. 

Ben can tell Callum is impressed which boots his confidence levels. “ I’ve cooked as well! “ 

Callum turns to him, eyebrows raised. “ really? “ 

Ben hums. “ sit down and I’ll get them plated. “ 

Callum does as he’s told. He hears Ben clattering and banging before finally smelling the scent of steak and chips. 

“ cooked it how you like it! “ 

“ what’s all this in aid of then? “ Callum requires curiously, gesturing to the table and Ben’s smart clothes. 

“ I wanted to show ya your wrong. “ Ben starts off, hoping Callum won’t go off on him. “ We can really be a couple, if we both put the work in. “ 

Calum’s face falls, apprehensive. “ Ben -“ 

“ No don’t - “ Ben takes Callum’s hand beside him. He has to lean over a tad because he’s short. “ - I like ya, I really do Callum. I want us to make a go of this. “ Ben desperately says. “ if you feel the same? “ the confidence slowly filters. 

“ of course I do, you muppet. “   
Callum tells him quietly, a fond sense going over him. 

“ We Have a bond Callum. We get on, Yeh we sometimes have arguments but you and me - we’re made for each other. “ 

“ I just - I don’t want any more hassle. “ Callum confesses, stroking Ben’s hand in the process. “ I don’t want us pushing each other away no more. I’m sick of it. “ 

Ben nods, understanding. “ me too. But we can learn to communicate more. “ 

“ We’re already good at that. In the bedroom. “ Callum’s muscles twitch and his lips upturn into a massive grin. 

Ben fake gasps. “ Callum Highway! I’m meant to be the dirty one! “ 

“ And now you’ve got me. “ 

Ben grins, makes a small huff in his throat and looks at his Callum through his eye lashes. 

“ I do have you. “ 

They both lean in and kiss each other softly on the lips and Callum’s stomach wrecks the moment with a massive grumble. 

“ I’m stavin’. “ 

“ always are aren’t cha? “ 

“ Starvin’ for some Ben Mitchell. “ Callum snipes back and doesn’t let Ben make a comment. “ I’m gonna eat you out after as desert. “ Callum says casually, like he’s told Ben he’s going to the shops after. He pops a chick into his mouth, smirking like a Cheshire Cat at Ben’s stunned expression. 

“ I never - I don’t think -“ 

Callum places his hand under Ben’s chin and closes his mouth. “ You know you only need to keep your mouth open for when I’m coming into ya. “ 

Ben has lost the ability to speak. 

Callum tilts his head, absolutely loving to make Ben stunned to the core with his unexpected dirtiness. He holds a chip and looks at him. 

“ Come on eat up! “ Callum tells him, eyeing up the uneaten steak and chips on Ben’s now Lukewarm plate. 

“ I never knew - you would be so dirty. “ 

Callum shrugged, a glint in his eye. “ A mystery man I am. “ 

Ben laughs. “ oh I love you Callum Highway. “ 

“ me too. “ 

And suddenly the atmosphere came too suffocating with the seriousness of their words. 

“ You mean that? “ Ben suspects, nearly not believing him. 

“ of course I do. “ like Ben was stupid. “ I love everything ‘bout ya Ben. “ 

“ Same here. “ 

“ how Veins that!! “ 

“ I meant I love everything about you two! “ 

Callum scoffs. “ bet ya did. “ 

Ben pokes him in the ribs. This little date, he never thought it would turn out so positive. 

“ Come on eat up halfway. “ Ben orders him, without any heat - well the only heat is lust. “ We need to build up our energy levels don’t we. “ 

“ yeh for me to do all the work! “ 

“ and we’re gonna have some sexy time. “ 

“ genuinely can’t believe you just said that. “ 

“ you love my one liners. “ 

“ I do Halfway. “ 

“ oh wow. “ 

-/- 

“ Have you been practicing without me? “ Ben gasps out, panting. 

“ I might’ve done. “ Callum grins, breathing through his nose to get the oxygen levels to normal. 

“ Well I’m impressed. “ 

“ I’m so happy we’re going to do this. “ Callum changed the topic, meaning their relationship. 

“ What? Sex? Me too loverboy. “ Ben grinned, turning onto his side and laying against Callum. 

“ no you muppet. You and me - boyfriends. “ 

Ben looked up at him, narrowing his eyes a tiny bit. “ and that’s what you definitely want to be? Boyfriends? “ 

“ well it’ll be a bit hard if we were anything but boyfriends. “ Ben frowned at him. “ I’m gay aren’t I? So we kinda have to be boyfriends. “ 

“ what a lame joke. “ Ben affectionately shook his head. 

“ you love it. “ 

“ I love the bloke but not the jokes. “ 

“ N’aw I’m offended. “ 

Ben kissed his sweaty chest. “ Kathy will love you. “ 

“ everyone loves me. I’m like a puppy. “ 

Ben snorts. Callum’s stomach rumbles again. “ you’ve just eaten! “ 

“ Yeh well I’m like - 5 foot 9 taller than ya! I need loads of food to give me energy! “ 

“ If that’s a dig at my height. “ Ben threatens. 

“ No never. “ 

“ good. “ 

“ it’s about your weight. “ 

“ Callum! “ 

Callum wrapped his arms around Ben’s waist and kissed him deeply. “ I’m joking! You are beautiful. “ 

“ Hmm. You might have to show me how beautiful I am then. “ 

Callum made a cheeky face and slid down Ben’s body, whilst supplying a load of wet kisses along the way.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #19 - their teen being insecure about being gay ( and maybe having suicidal thoughts/self harming? )
> 
> Prompt- 6/6 
> 
> * no mentions of the 2 triggers above. Only has slang homophobia *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo I didn’t want to write the character having these two mental health illnesses. I wanted the character to be upset and to have Ben and Callum there to comfort him.   
I did change the characters sexuality ( different to what the prompter wanted ) because I felt it was more him.

“ James?!! “ Ben called after his son who practically flew into the house and up the stairs to his room. Ben winced from the loud bang of the door. He turned down the heat on the pans and crept up the stairs, he softly knocked against his son’s bedroom door respectively. 

“ Go away! “ James choked out. Ben felt his face harden, his son crying in his bedroom after school. 

Whoever has upset his son will pay for it. 

Ben sighed softly, composing himself. If he goes all gun ‘n’ blazing he won’t get anywhere. “ right I’ll leave you for now but I’ll be coming back to give you your tea and you can speak to me or cal about the problem. Yeh? “ 

“ yeh fine. “ James’s voice hitched. Ben had to force himself to walk away from his son but he had to respect his son’s privacy and let him compose himself. 

Ben walked down the stairs and got out his phone to text his husband. 

Ben - James is upset, ran up the stairs in tears. Come home soon x 

Ben placed the phone onto the white counter and started to plate up the food for Lexi, Abbie ( In her memory, he always has a bit of her in his heart ), James and Charlie. 

“ Teas ready! “ and all of them expect for James. Ben’s worries instantly increased, James is a sociable person. He always comes down the stairs with his sisters and brothers. Now he hasn’t? Ben wants to kill the person who’s brought distress upon his little boy ( considering he’s 16, James will always be Ben’s and Callum’s little lad who walked into walls because he needed glasses ). 

“ daddy where’s J’ames? “ Abbie murmured into her peas. 

“ James’s just feeling unwell darlin’. “ Ben spoke softly, putting her loose strands of hair behind her ear. 

“ Will the rest of us be infected now? “ Charlie asked and Ben choked out a laugh because of casual he sounded. 

“ No Charlie, we won’t be infected. “ Ben bluntly said. “ But you will be if you don’t eat those carrots! “ he grinned, putting some enthusiasm into his words. 

“ but I hate carrots! “ 

“ and they make you big and strong! “ 

“ thoughts that’s for peas? “ Abbie corrected, confused. 

Ben mentally kicked himself, he’s getting caught up in his own web of lies. Trying to get the children to eat their vegetables. 

“ and it’s for carrots too. “ 

“ But Daddy you said carrots make you see in the dark. Your still blind becos your wearing glasses. “ 

Ben stared at them 3, who blinked at him. “ just eat your food yeh. “ he still smiled though. Bitterly. “ I’m gonna take this up for James and when I come back down I expect all of you to’ve eaten your food. “ Ben gets the plate and makes his way out of the kitchen till he stops after Charlie calls him. 

“ When’s Daddy Callum coming!? “ 

“ Soon, I miss him as much as you. “ 

Ben knocks against James’s door and when he calls ‘yeh’ he walks in. “ we missed you down there. It ain’t the same without your cheekiness. “ Ben informed him, using some sort of guilt trip care. When he only just wants to understand what’s happened. 

After Ben puts James dinner on the beside table he sits on the bed. James doesn’t move, barley even looks at his dad. 

“ please tell me what’s wrong. “ 

“ You’ll only kill them. “ 

Well he ain’t wrong. 

“ Only becos i love ya James. “ 

He sighs. “ I’ll tell dad. “ 

Ben nods his head, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore when James prefers ( sometimes) to speak to Callum. Ben learnt that Callum knows what to say and has a bit of a wider, wiser ways of words. But James told Ben isn’t second best, both of his dads have their strengths and weaknesses. 

“ Good, we only want to help ya. “ Ben softly tells him. “ And you know I’m here too. “ 

James finally looks up and weakly smiles. “ I know dad. “   
Ben reflects the same smile as James and leans over to hug his son. 

“ And this gives you no excuse to not eat your vegetables! “ Ben jokes when they pulled away, feeling his chest contract when James smiled and huffed out a laugh. 

“ can I have some chocolate ice cream after this too? “ James cheekily asks. 

“ hmm go on then. But don’t push it! “ Mitchell gets up from the bed and walks to the door. “ Your just like your dad you are. “ 

“ Yeh because he loves comic books unlike you! “ James defends, his dad’s always manage to make himself feel better. 

“ Because I ain’t a geek! “ 

“ No, but say that to your country music. “ 

“ I thought we‘re never going to mention my secret love of county music again? “ 

“ Think again. “ 

“ cheeky. “ 

-:- 

When Ben enters the living room Lexi, Charlie and Abbie are all watching television with some different fruits in a bowl. They’re eating from. Ben hears movement from the kitchen. “ is dad home? “ 

“ yeh he came back a few minutes ago. “ Lexi answers him, none of them looking at Ben as he disappears into the kitchen. 

“ well weren’t you quiet? “ 

Callum turns around from tidying the mess away and opens his arms to hug his husband. 

“ I weren’t actually. The kids made a right din when I came back. “ Callum murmured into Ben’s hair. “ What’s wrong with James? “ he asks pulling away. 

“ Came running in and straight for his bedroom, cryin’. “ Ben explained. “ Think he’s bein’ bullied. “ 

“ I ain’t visiting me husband in prison Ben. “ 

“ well someone’s upset our boy. “ 

Callum rested his hand on his arm and gently squeezed his limb. “ It’ll be okay, especially when he’s got us for parents. “ 

“ I hate seein’ him upset. “ 

“ I’ll talk to him. “ Callum promised, kissing Ben and going upstairs to talk to James. 

Knock knock. “ James can I come in? “ 

“ ...yeh...” 

“ How was school? “ Callum started off, wanting to circle around the topic first than diving in straight away. 

James shrugged. “ It was alright. “ 

“ till? “ He prompted. 

“ I - I’ve been -“ James struggled to speak, hating the inability to form words. Callum waited patiently, knowing from his own experiences how hard it can be to talk about what’s going on in your head. “ - I have feelings. “ 

“ What type of feelings? “ 

“ a crush? “ James mumbled, he doesn’t know why he’s embarrassed. It’s not like Ben and Callum are two homophobic parents is it? 

“ I think I’m gay or b-bi. “ James confessed and it felt a tiny bit better having this weight lifted off him. 

“ Have you always been sure or have these feelings made you realise that your gay or bisexual? “ 

James played with his own fingers. “ I always had an idea but never - never completely thought about it. “ 

“ How does that make you feel??” 

James looked at his dad, not completely following. “ what being not straight? “ 

Callum shrugged. “ Either one. “ 

“ I don’t know. “ James admitted. “ I think - I think I’m Bi. “ 

“ yeh? “ 

James nervously nodded his head. “ Yeh, cos I - I like girls but I also like boys but - I like boys a little bit more. “ James confessed, but still looking a bit frizzled. “ Does that make me bad? “ 

Callum moved back so he was leaning against the wall as well. He wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulders to comfort him. 

“ of course not, being Bi has nothing to worry about okay? It doesn’t matter if you like both, you still have all the time to discover or re-discover yeh? “ 

“ You know I said I had a crush on a - a boy. “ 

“ hmm. “ Callum hummed to know he was listening. 

“ Well I tried to kiss him. “ James let the words out slowly. “ only - he pulled back and a few lads saw me and started calling me a puff. “ 

“ they what! “ Callum tried to keep his voice calm but it honestly was testing his patience. 

“ They followed me ‘ome, picking on me - and I couldn’t do anything. They were laughin’ at me. “ James started to panic again. Callum trucked his son into his side even more and gently kissed his head. 

“ They’re scum okay? You ain’t a puff or anything they say, cos you ain’t James. You don’t believe them do ya? “ 

James shook his head. “ no, because- I should be proud of who I am. You and dad taught me that. “ 

“ And you know me and ben will always stick by ya and we won’t ever judge you okay? We don’t care who your with, we only care if your happy. “ 

“ Thanks Dad. “ James smiled, nervously and awkwardly. They hugged and after a short while they parted. 

“ Just one thing I gotta say. Don’t ever hide your feelings or bury who you are because- it wrecks ya. I ain’t just saying that, it will slowly kill you. “ Callum told him, his voice deepening with sadness and regret. “ don’t be like me or Ben. We want the best for you. “ 

James knew a little bit about his dad’s past and knew how hard it was for the both of them. So he knew when they told him about taking pride and being who you are. They’re not just saying it, they proper mean it. 

“ love you dad. “ 

“ love you too kiddo. “ 

“ Dad mentioned ice cream. “ 

“ hmm did he now?? “ 

“ yeh, especially when I came in upset. Think I deserve a treat. “ 

“ You pulled my arm, you can have a bowl full okay? “ 

“ with some raspberries. “ 

“ With some chocolate syrup? “ 

“ and a cup of tea. “ 

“ anything else? “ 

“ a packet of crisps. “ 

“ you don’t want much do ya? “ Callum jokes. 

“ No of course not. “ James smiles innocently. 

Callum huffed out a chuckle and walked out, closing the door behind him. He walked down the stairs into the kitchen to get his son the items he wanted. Ben leant against the counter biting his thumb in nervous. 

“ He Alright? “ 

Callum nodded, whilst getting the cup from the cupboard. “ he told me he might be bi or gay. “ he said in a quieter tone, not wanting their other children to hear. He didn’t want James getting more bother, especially if he’s been picked on at school. 

“ and someone knew? “ 

“ Not as such. “ Callum turned to his husband after switching the kettle on. “ He’s got this crush on a boy & he tried kissin’ him. Only, the lad pulled away and some of the boys caught him. They followed James home callin’ him names. “ 

“ fucking scum. “ Ben growled. 

“ I’ll go into the school tomorrow and sort it out. “ Callum reached over and rubbed Ben’s shoulder. When the kettle was boiled he poured the scolding water into the mug. 

“ How can people just be - so nasty? “ 

“ because they haven’t been brought up properly and have had bad influences with social media blackening their minds. “ Callum spoke wisely. 

“ I don’t want him having the worst time of discovering himself like us. “ Ben admitted, disappointed, not at James. He’ll never be disappointed in his boy. 

“ I don’t think he would Ben. “ said Callum. “ he said we’ve learnt him to be proud of who we are and he knows snippets of our coming out stories. “ he explained, whilst putting scups of ice cream into the deep bowl. “ and anyway, he’s got us hasn’t he? “ 

Ben’s face softened, the sad look fading. Ben wrapped his arms around his husbands waist and kissed his shoulder. “ Yeh he has. “ 

“ I’ll best take this up for the royal highness anyway. “ Callum joked, holding the bowl and crisps in one hand and the other with the mug of tea. Doing it like pro. 

“ He wants all that? “ 

“ yep. He said you agreed for him having some ice cream? “ 

“ yeh after being emotionally blackmailed. “ 

“ he’s played us. “ 

“ You can tell He’s your kid. “ Callum cheekily said. 

“ oi he’s half yours too ya know! “ Ben defended. “ Both of our -“ 

“ yes okay Ben, don’t have to go into detail. “ 

“ Tell him I love him yeh? I’ll see him after and make sure I’m here too. “ 

“ I will do. “ Callum sincerely said. 

-/- 

The morning of the new day and James is shitting himself with nerves. He doesn’t want to face those boys again and face that lad he kissed but Ben and Callum told him it’s nothing to be ashamed off. He is bound to make some mistakes in life. 

But when he went to school having Callum by his side everything was okay. Callum was calm and used his disapproving words to make the teacher sweat under the collar. Because Callum can take legal action against the boys and the school for not doing anything. Till, the head made the bullies to stop their behaviour. 

School was school again. Boring. 

Ben was proud. He kissed Callum on the cheek for sticking up for their boy ( and he obviously knows the reason why ). Callum has come a long way since hating himself. 

James came out 3 months later. He’s bisexual and Ben and Callum did a pride party for him. 

James never felt so accepted in his entire life. He has the best dads, siblings, home and life in the entire world. 

Ben and Callum never felt so overwhelmed because their children are having the childhood they never had.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #20 -making fun of one another

Ben frowned slightly turning to his boyfriend who was watching the TV whilst drinking his cup of tea. 

“ Callum? “ 

“ what? “ Callum’s gaze didn’t shift from the television. 

“ Have you always had big ears? “ 

Callum frowned, turning slowly to Ben offended. “ You picking on my ‘ears for? “ 

“ I was just wondering. “ 

“ yeh they have. “ Callum answered, bluntly. 

“ they remind me of an elephant. “ 

Callum launched for Ben tickling his sides and Ben burst into a bunch of giggles trying shove him off himself. 

“ Cal-Callum - stop-“ Ben laughed breathlessly. 

“ Why? You’re making fun of me! Again! “ Callum tickled Ben even more getting his point across. 

“ Oh-Oh okay I’ll stop! “ Ben giggled again ( who knew Ben Mitchell would be giggling? ). 

Callum stopped, the smile still in place when he pulled away from his lover. “ My ‘ears have done nowt to you. “ 

“ I know babe. “ Ben agreed, pressing his lips to Callum slipping a tongue between the teeth. 

Callum pulled away from him, inches away and smirked with a twinkle in his eyes. “ And anyway you are the one to talk. “ 

“ How so? “ 

“ you’re small! “ Callum exclaimed, whilst Ben grumbled. “ You always look up to people!” 

“ But my Ben isn’t small is it? “ Smirked Ben with the innuendo. He crawled to his boyfriend straddling his thighs and pressing different kisses to Callum’s neck. 

“ Definitely not small. “ Callum moaned, consciously untying Ben’s belt and fly to get his cock out. Callum grabbed the swell and stroked it in a hard warming rhythm. 

Ben breathed out. “ Fuckin’ hell cal that feels - “ he didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence when Callum tucked and gripped harder on his swollen dick. 

Callum pulled away from him teasingly to torture him some more. “ Cal! Why you stop! “ Ben whined, the loss of touch when he so desperately needs it. 

Callum shrugged, acting casual. “ Wanted to rail you up and then push you away when you’re in desperate need of a fuck. “ 

Ben groaned and moaned at the same time feeling his body seize up again. He is too horny, too horny for Callum and he needs Callum’s hands on him now. 

“ Please Cal - please just -“ 

“ please What love? “ Callum answers, smugly. If Ben wasn’t thinking with his cock he would be impressed by Callum’s confidence. 

“ -Just fuck me -“ 

“ fuck you how much? “ 

“ Till - Till I see stars. “ Ben sucked at Callum’s neck, whilst stroking his own cock. 

Callum made a disapproving noise. He is having too much of a good time with tormenting his boyfriend. “ I don’t know now. I was tryna use those sex toys you wanted to use -“ Callum used the ‘disappointing ‘ voice. That caught Ben’s attention because he stopped and came face to face with him. “ but I’m still deeply offended about the ears problem. “ 

“ I’ll do anything babe. “ Ben told him, sounding too sincere. Just desperate to have sex, Callum proposed. 

“ I’m going to take you down, piece by piece and ruin you. Then going build you up all over again. “ 

“ -fuckin’ hell -“ Ben moaned out. Ben thrives for the confident Callum, especially in the bedroom. The way Callum talks sexually nearly makes him cum. 

Callum wetly snogged him before dragging him into the bedroom and pushing him on the bed. To carry on the kisses. 

Ben loves Callum topping. 

-/- 

Ben was pretty sure he couldn’t think or speak. Callum really stuck to his word and fucked Ben slowly and carefully making him a whimpering mess. 

Callum kissed his sweaty shoulder and locked their fingers together. “ you okay? “ 

Another thing Ben loves about Callum. He always makes sure he is okay straight after sex, just so considerate. 

“ You are so - fucking amazin’ -“ Ben panted out, bloody exhausted. 

Callum grinned. “ Not so bad yourself. “ 

“ how are you not tired? “ 

“ Because all this was for you. “ Callum simply answered. “ For teasing my ears! “ 

Ben huffed out a laugh. “ I was jokin’. “ 

“ I know babe, but I was deeply offended but now you know what happens when you pick on me. “ Callum kissed him again. 

“ Well I think I should tease ya more then if I get that incredible sex. “ Ben commented impressed. Callum chuckled, kissing his sweaty forehead. 

“ I enjoyed myself too - I think you should. “ replied Callum. “ You want me to get you anything? “ 

“ You. “ 

“ you’ve just had me for 3 hours! “ 

“ and I want you again now. “ Ben smiled innocently. Callum straddled Ben’s waist to press multiple of different kisses to Ben’s chest. 

“ but first I’m gonna get you some food. You need keep your energy up! “ 

“ Go on then, elephant ears. “ 

Callum gently slapped Ben’s shoulder in return. “ Cheeky! “ 

“ That cheeky that I want more cock. “ 

And he did get some more for another few hours.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #21 - scarworship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is funny how nobody notices your pain and you just seem fine

Ben straddled Callum’s waist and rested his butt on Callum’s stomach as he traced the scars on Callum’s side and a few on his stomach. 

“ Don’t think you ever told me how you got these. “ Ben commented, casually and seeming genuinely curious. 

Callum shrugged, continuing to rub Ben’s left thigh. “ ’just never had the relevance to bring it up. “ 

“ till now. “ Ben replied. 

“ They’re from the army. “ 

“ From a explosion? “ 

Callum nodded. “ You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to Cal. “ Ben must’ve seen Callum’s face change to slightly uncomfortable. 

“ I don’t mind tellin’ ya. “ replied Callum, unbothered. “ It’s just - hard to talk about sometimes. “ 

Ben nodded, completely understanding Callum’s struggle with the scars and the memories representing them. 

“ I still have flashbacks from the shooting ya know? “ Ben confessed, still stroking the scar. “ It’s not as bad now, from the first few days. It’s nearly like it ever happened. “ 

Callum gave him a funny look. 

Ben sighed. “ What I mean is, I forget about it, not dwell about me dyin’ and about to lose the ‘chance of seeing Lex growing up. “ he explained, a light lining of sadness viable. “ - Of missing the chance of being with you -“ he added, quieter. 

“ I don’t think I would’ve coped you know. I would be like Chris all over again, me not tellin’ ya how I properly feel. “ 

“ but we’re here now. “ Ben smiled softly, using that soft voice when he said he remembered when Callum would agree to everything.   
A natural smile forming on Cal’s face as he sat up straighter and pressed a gentle kiss to the scar on Ben’s chest. 

“ It shows you survived. “ Callum murmured. 

Ben held onto Callum’s love handles resting their foreheads together. “ You too. Even when we didn’t know each other - you came back to me. “ 

“ Fucking hell thats romantic. “ Callum chuckled, ruining the intimate moment. 

“ We were having a moment then! “ 

“ We were having a moment yesterday!? “ 

“ You having a crisis about dropping Mrs Dubles -“ 

“ -Mrs Doopler -“ Callum corrected him. 

“ Mrs Duble’s -“ Ben repeated the incorrect surname for the purpose of winding Callum up.   
“ ashes all over ya isn’t a moment. “ 

“ The ashes went everywhere! “ 

“ yeh! You looked like you seen a ghost! “ 

“ fuck off Ben. “ Callum playfully nudged him. 

“ I mean I can fuck off but I much prefer you fucking me off. “ 

Callum rolled his eyes. “ You have to turn everything dirty? “ 

“ It’s all part of being unique. “ 

“ Muppet. “ 

“ Plonker. “ 

Ben sat up and immediately fell on top of his boyfriend with a big huff. “ still fallin’ for me ay? “ Callum joked, his arms flat out under Ben. 

“ My legs are dead. “ Ben winced. 

“ Awh poor baby. “ Callum sarcastically said, pouring out his bottom lip. 

Ben ignored his comment. “ Don’t think I’m moving any time soon. “ 

And then Callum groaned. “ I’m actually dyin’. Who knew someone so small can be so heavy? “ 

“ when I can move again your gonna have a slap. “


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #22 - Jonno returns and Callum comes out to him. Jonno beats him up and Ben&Phil save Callum, Who Ben kisses and says “ get your hands off my boyfriend “ then kisses Callum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the prompt.

Jonno scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “ Why would you not want to marry that tart for? “ 

“ Because I’m gay dad! “ Callum shouted in frustration. He actually said it, after 28yrs of burying who he is, after years of hating himself. He said it. 

“ You What? “ Jonno let out, confused. “ Your my son, you ain’t a puff. “ 

Callum shook his head, livid. He walked in a small circle needing to move. The darkness covering them under the train bridge making it harder to see. 

“ How are you this delusional? “ Callum let out, facing his twat of father. “ why can’t you just be ‘appy for me? “ 

“ Because no son of mine is a fuckin’ puff! “ Jonno yells, launching himself at Callum and punching him in the face with a load of force. Callum fell back, with a thud. “ I’m gonna beat it out of ya! No son of mine is a fucking fairly! “ Jonno repeatedly kicks Callum in the stomach. He suddenly crouched down and grabs Callum’s collar in his fists. Callum whimpers in agony. “ You deserve this. “ Jonno grit through his teeth and aggressively punches his son, beating him up till there isn’t a single area of skin that isn’t covered in bruises. 

///

Ben sighs loudly, dropping his phone onto the kitchen table in the Mitchell’s house. “ I dunno where he is dad. “ 

“ He’s probably off in his flat. “ Phill grumbles. “ You need stop worryin’ ‘bout him. “ 

“ Didn’t you not see his dad attacking him in the Vic? What if he’s done something? “ 

Phil turns to his son, now Phil’s attention is caught. “ you think he’s found him and done the job proper? “ 

Ben’s face falls, a sickening feeling going over him. “ Yeh. “ barely a whisper. 

Phil huffs and gets his keys. “ come on then. “ 

They walk around the square before looking in the unlikely of places. The bridge only to find Jonno kicking the shit out of Callum. Who is laying on the ground unmoving. Ben and Phil leg it to them and Phil drags Jonno back who screams in anger. Ben collapses onto Callum, sinking to his knees in shock. Callum looks dead.   
It’s like the same with Paul, images of Paul invade his mind. Ben doesn’t even know he is sobbing uncontrollably, Jonno is laying on the floor unconscious   
from the punch Phil gave him. 

Ben doesn’t notice anything but Callum. 

Phil rings an ambulance. Everything goes in slow motion. Ben crying over Callum’s lifeless body. Phil trying give comfort. Ben being ripped away from Callum when the ambulance comes. 

Why is this happening again? 

//// 

“ please - please wake up Cal - please don’t leave me - “ Ben whimpered, resting his forehead on Callum’s arm as he held Callum’s hand with both hands. “ - you can’t - you can’t die like Paul you can’t - please wake up - please -“ the words clogged up in his throat. Ben’s throat sore and raw from sobbing for the past 2 days. He has been repeating the same things over and over again like a mantra. 

Phil had tried to calm him down. Tried. Ben chucked him out of Callum’s hospital room. Stuart came and was blaming Ben for everything and Ben should be proud of himself for not punching him one. 

( “ this is all your fault! I knew my brother ain’t safe with you Mitchell lot! And now I could lose him! “ 

“ Don’t you think I know that? You bald headed freak? “ Ben screamed through fresh tears, the words getting caught up in his throat. “ I could lose him too. I could lose somebody else I love too Stuart! “ ) 

And now he is all alone with Callum. The beating heart monitor telling him Callum is still hanging on, the machine breathing for Callum begging for him to stay alive. Everything in this world is telling to hang on but he isn’t waking up. Ben just hopes Callum does want to stay with him. 

-/- 

It has been 3 weeks, 3 weeks of Callum being in a coma and the doctors are finally bringing him out of it. Ben is terrified, Stuart is nervous because he wants his brother to be okay and Mick & Linda are apprehensive. The police were waiting outside the room too. To get a statement off Callum the minute he woke up and nobody was bloody happy to say the least. 

-/- 

“ Mr Highway? Mr Highway, can you hear me? “ 

“ m’yeh. “ Callum mumbles, rolling his head to the left side of the pillow. 

The visitors breathe out a breath of relief. 

“ Do you know where you are? “ 

“ M’dunno. “ Callum mumbles. 

“ You are in Hospital. I’m Dr Williams. “ 

Callum doesn’t comment. He feels himself slipping back into unconsciousness again till he feels hard pressure on his collar bone and he is fully awake with a wince. 

“ You have been beaten up and been in a coma for 3 weeks. “ The doctor talks at him. “ I will be coming back later on to check on you, when you are more aware of your surroundings. “ they start to walk away only to have Ben block their way not intimidating. 

“ You not just gonna leave him are you? Look at ‘him! “ 

The doctor sighs gently. “ Mr Highway looks fine. the tests we had done tell us he is okay, the skull has healed tremendously. He will be okay with rest and fluids. “ The Doctor explains and walks around ben to talk out of the room. 

Everyone gives Callum a hug and tell him how worried they were and tell him how much the square have been rooting for him. How all of them hate Jonno for doing this to him. They leave. Not Ben, he stays, he hasn’t said anything because if he does - he’ll completely break down. 

“ Ben. “ Callum weakly calls, squeezing Ben’s hand as tight as physically possible. Ben sits straighter and shuffled closer to him. 

“ You okay? “ Ben immediately panicking. 

“ Are - you? “ Callum sucks in a breathe between his words. 

Ben chokes out a laugh. “ me? You’ve just been in a 3 week coma and been beaten up! The doctors didn’t even know you’ll survive! “ 

“ Sorry. “ 

“ I don’t want an apology Cal, I care ‘bout ya. I love you and when I saw you -“ His voice breaks. “ -when I saw you just lyin’ there I thought you’s died. “ 

Callum bitterly laughed but it sounded painful. “ Da-dad nearly done an successful job then? “ 

“ yeh he nearly fucking did Callum! “ Ben half shouted. “ I thought I lost you! “ it was like a parallel of Callum saying it when Ben was shot. 

“ I wouldn’t have - Have left you. “ Callum gasped out. 

“ You nearly did. You could’ve gone the same way as Paul. “ 

“ I’m sorry you had to go through that. “ Callum apologised. Only he would apologise for getting beaten up and for Ben to be involved. That is why Ben loves him, cal is so compassionate and hardly takes himself into consideration. 

Ben sits on the edge of the small hospital bed and cradles Callum’s broken face. “ I love you, you are a bloody idiot sometimes but I do. I want you and me to be together properly, i want us to spend every last minute of our lives together because I can’t lose you. “ 

Callum watery smiled. “ Deal. “ 

Ben grinned softly and slowly pressed his lips against Callum’s and kissed intimately. 

-/- 

After a week in hospital Callum was discharged. Ben helped Callum to his flat and basically became the doting husband. 

(Ben secretly loved looking after Callum, especially when Callum needed Ben around to support him ). 

Callum lay in bed with his cup of tea in agony. He hates his dad, loathes him even. Ben certainly hates Jonno, if he had the chance Jonno would be dead by now. 

Ben smiled happily carrying Callum’s fruits ( side dish ) and Spaghetti Bolognese to him with a glass of orange jucie next to the dish. 

“ Whoah-la! “ 

“ This isn’t microwave food is it? “ Callum suspects, eyeing up the hot food but taking it anyway. 

Ben sighed. “ That was one time. “ 

“ yeh one time too many! “ 

Ben smiled sweetly. “ but it was nice though. “ 

“ suppose. “ Callum mumbled but he had a small smile on his face. “ Thank you Ben, for looking after me. “ 

“ I care ‘bout ya cal. I’ll do anything for ya. “ 

“ Well you can make a gap in the wardrobe and some space in the cupboard then. “ 

“ Is this you asking me to move in? “ Ben excitedly confirmed. 

“ Yeh. I love havin’ you here and we get on so much. Lex can even stay here too. “ 

“ Cal I don’t know what to say -“ Ben tearedly smirked. “ I love you so much. “ Ben pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“ I love you too. “ Callum returned the kiss. “ And Lex. “ 

“ I’ll go and get my stuff! And lexis!” Ben rushes out to get their belongings as Callum huffs out a fond smile. 

He really loves this new setting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was slightly different to what you asked me to write but I hate Jonno and didn’t want to write him. However, Jonno would be arrested and gone to prison for a homophobic attack ( Idk if you can go to prison for that - I wish there was a prison sentence for that ). Jonno had a GBH sentence. 
> 
> Ps; Autocorrect is a tw*t


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3.Moving away -#gaypanic

Ben strolled into the Café and immediately softened when he saw Callum at the far end of the café next to the window with his cup of coffee and a newspaper in hand. 

“ Alright grampa? “ Ben jokes, sitting down opposite his sorta - not - kind - of boyfriend. 

Callum rolls his eyes at Ben’s own amusement and plonks the paper down next to his half eaten bacon sandwich. 

“ Alright? “ Callum replies, having an genuine interest. 

Ben shrugged. “ ‘suppose life is alright at the moment. “ 

“ because of all those dodgy deals have gone alright and not to shit? “ 

“ Yeh - thanks for that Cal. “ 

“ no problem mate. “ 

Ben sighed softly, leaning forward to take a look at the newspaper Callum was looking at. Houses. 

“ You’ve already got somewhere to live? “ Ben pointed out confused. 

“ yeh I know but I can’t just stay on top of the place I work forever can I? “ Callum replied like it was obvious. 

“ But you - can’t just move away from here. “ Ben tried again, panicking. Callum can’t leave, Ben couldn’t cope with not seeing Callum’s face in The Square every day. 

“ Well I can. “ Callum tilts his head, his usual smile present.   
“ I’ve been saving up money and I’ve got enough to buy a ‘ouse. Especially from Dads will money. “ 

“ But where would you be moving to? “ 

“ Scotland. “ Callum simply replied. 

Ben looked like a picture. “ Scotland! “ 

Callum burst out laughing at Ben’s horrified face. “ Oh my god your face! “ he chuckled. “ Nah, be around ‘ere or somewhere in London. “ 

“ But what about your job? “ 

“ well I drive don’t I? “ 

“ but - but what if jay needs ya and you aren’t close enough to ‘elp him? “ 

Callum frowned at the Mitchell. “ Why you so bothered anyway? “ 

Ben tried to remain calm and collected. “ I only thinkin’ of the logical reasons for ya. “ 

“...right...” Callum paused. “ well I’ve got a house I need to look at tomorrow, with an estate agent. “ he added. 

“ What time? “ 

“ 11. “ 

Ben nods his head slowly, surely he can think of something to get Callum to miss it so he wouldn’t be leaving? 

Ben looked at his watch and sighed heavily trying to act nonchalant. “ Well I’ve got a car to collect so-“ 

“ Not a dodgy one? “ Callum faked surprised. 

“ Nope. “ Ben smiled sweetly. “ See ya. “ he cheerfully said and left the café. He stood outside and took a deep breath calming his nerves. He can’t let Callum move away from him, they were getting on splendidly and were getting so close. He can’t understand why Callum wants to leave Walford? 

Ben enters the Parlour and sees his brother at the desk doing paperwork. Act casual. 

“ Alright brov? “ Ben greeted, sitting down on the punter chair. 

“ Yeh fine. “ Replied Jay, still writing down on the paperwork. 

“ So I ‘eard Callum is leavin’. “ 

“ yeh I already know. “ 

Ben shifted, so he was the last to know? Considering how close himself and Callum have gotten? 

“ how? “ 

Jay looked up with a frown. “ How did I know he’s leavin’? Well I talked to him for starters. “ 

Ben sighed at his bluntness.   
“ Where is he movin’ too? “ he changed the topic. 

“ Dunno. “ The other Mitchell shrugged, leaning back on the desk chair. “ He has a enough money so probably be anywhere. “ jay explained like it was no big deal - like Ben’s heart isn’t shattering. 

“ Why does he want to leave? “ 

“ Why you so interested in Halfway’s life? “ 

Ben shrugged, keeping the blush at bay. “ just being nosy. “ 

Jay hums, unconvinced. “ Think he just wants to be independent. “ he answers anyway. 

Ben nods, taking his time processing the information.   
“ I wouldn’t want leave ‘ere. “ 

“ Really? “ Jay is surprised. 

“ Yeh, It’s were I grow up. “ 

“ didn’t you move away? “ Jay pointed out. 

“ Yeh but - this is my ‘ome unfortunately, deep in ‘eart. “ 

Jay hummed. “ Well whatever he wants to do I’ll support his decision. “ 

“ even if he quits this job? “ 

Jay shrugs. “ I’ll miss him - but I’ll still see ‘him occasionally. “ 

Ben doesn’t understand his logic, how can he not miss Callum every single day like Ben?   
It feels like Callum is slipping away from him. 

-/- 

As Callum is plating up his dinner when his phone lights up with a message off Ben. 

Ben - I need your help tomorrow. Meet at car lot 10 

Callum frowned, curious. He held his knife&fork with the plate of food in one hand with his other holding his iPhone.   
He puts down the items and types back his message. 

Callum - Why? I can’t be late for the agent tomorrow. 

Nearly immediately later Ben texts back. 

Ben - I’ll make sure you won’t ;) 

Callum doesn’t believe him. Callum might be a bit naive sometimes ( and a bit thick ) but he knows what Ben is planning. He don’t want Callum to move away and he will do anything to make that possible. So, Callum rings up his estate agent and rearranges the booking to 4pm. 

-/- 

Callum walks to the car lot and ends up at the building at 9:40. Ben smirks happily when Callum enters and stands awkwardly at the punters chair. 

“ Ahh! You’re early! “ Ben announces cockily, leaning back with his usual smug grin. 

Callum ignores his comment “ When we goin’ then? “ 

Ben flops the paperwork onto the desk. “ At 10, we’re meeting ‘em at half ‘ten. “ 

Callum nods his head. He sits down on the chair and slumps slightly. “ So is this a dodgy deal? “ 

“ yep. A very good deal too. “ Ben explained impressed. “ a load of dosh comin’ my way. “ lies to make it believable. 

“ if it works out. “ 

“ thanks for that Cal, really feelin’ the support ‘ere. “ 

“ Well I am ‘ere aren’t I? Why else would I be here? “ 

“ To ‘elp me. “ 

“ ...right..” 

Ben sighed heavily. “ You’re a barrel of laughs aren’t cha? “ he sarcastically states out. 

“ Haven’t had anything to eat. “ Callum grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“ Ah, Halfway in need of food ay? “ Ben suspects before getting up from the desk chair and clapping Callum on the shoulder. “ right come on. “ 

“ We goin’ now? “ Callum requires, getting up too and following Ben out of the car lot. 

“ I’m gonna get you a maccies breakfast and then drivin’ to the meetin’ point. “ Ben answers, whilst looking the metal door. 

“ You ain’t have to do that Ben. “  
“ oh I bloody am Cal, I ain’t goin’ anywhere with you on a empty stomach. “ Ben told him and started walking to the car.   
The memory ( memories) reappearing in both of their minds of Callum being grumpy/snappy and it is not a nice side of Callum to see. Even if Callum is funnily sarcastic and rude. 

-/- 

Callum huffed for the millionth time looking at his watch and shifting on his feet. “ Where is he? “ 

Ben hid a ghost of a smirk knowing Callum is going to miss his appointment. “ I dunno. “ maybe because there isn’t actually a dodgy deal to go to . 

“ Well it’s good that I rearranged my appointment then. “ 

Ben spun around shocked. “   
You what?” 

Callum looked at him in the eye. “ I’ve rearranged my appointment ‘cos I knew we would run over time. “ 

You snide fucking -“ you ain’t so Halfway now are ya? Thinkin’ ahead. “ Ben bitterly chuckled, going for something different to what he thought. 

Callum shrugs. “ people don’t give me enough credit sometimes. “ he admitted sadly. Ben’s face fell and felt a urge to touch him, he rested his hand on top of Callum’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze. 

“ I always see more to ya Cal. “

“ your properly the only one who truly sees the real me. “ Callum confessed, out of all the scenarios and places they are having a heart to heart in a shady garage. 

That’s when it hit Ben. He can’t push Callum away, he can’t stop his happiness from going ahead just because Ben don’t like it. Love is a 2 way process and sometimes you need to hurt for your loved one to carry on. 

Acceptance. 

“ I’ll always support you Callum. I’m always ‘ere if you need me. “ Ben softly spoke. The voice he uses on Lexi and Callum seeping out. 

“ There ain’t no deal is there? “ Callum caught him out, might as well point the obvious. 

Ben sighed, dropping his hand from Callum’s shoulder and backing away slightly. “ no. I didn’t want ya to go. “ ben confessed guiltily - referring to the estate agent appointment. 

“ why?” Callum frowned, not seeing the clues in Ben’s actions. They both sit side by side on the front end of the car, thighs touching and hands dangerously close to each other. 

Ben gives him a look of ‘you taking the piss?’ “ Cal I care ‘bout ya. I love seein’ you in The Square you wolly. “ 

“ why? “ Replies a confused Halfway. 

“ because I like you, you thicko! “ Ben exclaims widely and in disbelief that Callum doesn’t understand Ben’s warmth for him. 

Callum blushes, a smile creeping up and he can’t do anything about it. “ I’m quite fond of you too Mitchell. “ 

A laugh escapes Ben’s lips. “ That’s why I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave me because- “ he struggles to continue with the nerves and ( the fear of ) rejection taking over his ability to think & talk. 

“ -Because I might move on and forget about you? “ Callum filled in the gap for him, feeling depressed that Ben even thinks that. When the past few months have been amazing between them both. How they’ve gotten closer and more intimate ( not sex ). ( they wanted to lay off the relationship side and just get to know each other more ). 

Ben nodded his head quickly feeling the most vulnerable in a long time but having Callum here it doesn’t make Ben feel uncomfortable. Instead, he feels safe and protected. 

“ I - I like you a lot Cal -“ I love you “ - and I don’t want you finding’ any other bloke ‘cos- your mine. “ 

“ Bit possessive. “ Joked Callum, nudging the shorter man’s shoulder. 

Ben looked back up at him with a weak smile. Only Callum ( and Lexi ) could make him feel happier immediately after feeling so small. 

“ I am when I care about someone. “ 

Callum opened his mouth but didn’t comment. Instead, he slid his hand between their thighs and locked their fingers together tightly. 

“ Well it’s good I like you too init? “ Callum told him, casually fondly. 

It‘s like a firework sets off in Ben’s heart. “ you mean that? “ 

“ I ain’t just sayin’ that. “ 

“ You still goin’ look at that ‘ouse? “ Ben required, cocking an eyebrow. 

“ Yeh. “ Ben’s face fell, his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape in disappointment. “ but - I’ll like you to see it as well. “ Callum grinned, something in his voice mysterious. 

“ Me? “ 

“ yeh. I need you to like it too don’t I? “ Callum responded, dropping the ‘seed’ for Ben to realise. 

“ Why -“ Ben felt something in the pit of his stomach, like butterflies. The dots mapping together making a picture. 

Callum sweetly chuckled. “ I always thought Ben Mitchell was a clever clogs? “ 

“ You askin’ me to move in? “ 

“ Yeh - well both of us buyin’ a ‘ouse together. “ Callum corrected in his usual awkwardness. “ It’s got enough rooms for the 3 of us. “ 

“ Lexi too? “ Ben is just - this cant be happening, especially to him. Good things don’t happen to Ben. 

“ Ben she’s ya daughter. You havin’ some brain short circuit thing or somethin’? “ 

The slightly younger bloke’s face softened into silk. “ I just can’t believe it, I hardly ever get happiness - I don’t deserve it. “ 

“ You Do! “ Callum strongly replied, shocking Ben from how fierce he sounds. “ You Ben Mitchell deserve everything. You are an amazing person and I’ll use the rest of our lives to show you that. “ 

“ the rest of our lives ay? “ Ben repeated with a watery grin. 

“ If you have me. “ Callum shyly commented. 

“ I’ll always ‘ave ya. “ 

Callum’s eyes twinkled and slowly leaned closer to kiss Ben on the lips. Their lips connected with a sweet moan, the taste of maccies and the taste of salvia. Ben opened his eyes when Callum slipped in a cheeky tongue before pulling away. Bog of them rosy pink in the cheeks and both bursting with fireworks. 

“ I love you. “ Callum whispered, sincerely. He has never loved anyone more than he loves Ben and it is magical. 

“ I love you more. “ Ben repeated, inches away from Callum’s lips before pecking him on the plump lips again. 

Hesitation grow on Callum’s face, pulling back from Ben who couldn’t understand the sudden change in him. “ What’s wrong? “ he internally begged Callum to not change his mind. 

“ I ain’t rushin’ you or lex into anything am I? “ Callum feared. “ I’d hate to have you resent me -“   
“ -Whoah - whoah wheres that comin’ from? “ Ben butted in, taken back by the word ‘ resent’. 

“ I just don’t want ya to feel rushed. “ 

Ben sighed, or well a deep breath, looking down before looking back up at him. “ Cal...you do realise I’ve practically been livin’ in your flat yeh? And Lex? For the past few months. We are basically a couple without the label ‘ couple ‘ hanging on us. “ he explained to him, amused by Callum’s naiveness 

Callum looked flustered and awkward and oh god they have been haven’t they? “ Have you known -“ 

“ yeh, as well as the whole square but I didn’t say nowt to ya. I didn’t want you to be scared off and wanted ya to realise on your own pace. “ 

“ so thoughtful. “ 

“ Especially in the bedroom department. “ Ben cocked an eyebrow smirking. 

“ Especially in the bedroom. “ Highway agreed, repeating the same dirty tone. 

-/-

The Estate Agent let both of the two look around freely in the house and honestly they were amazed at how beautiful and big it was. The house had a rich design to it, had its own liveable drive way ( greyish/cream stones ), trees and flowers on the outside with a nice garden out in the back. Basically- Tumblr style. The house was very rich looking but so cheap price. 

“ Cal you’ve picked a right bargain ‘ere. “ Ben suspected, completely impressed standing in the nice white/black kitchen. 

“ I know I ‘ave. I can’t believe it’s so - wow. “ Callum chuckled.

The Estate Agent smiled proud for the positive feedbacks from the best house on the list. “ Will you be putting an deposit on it Mr Highway? “ 

He looked at Ben, it’s now or never. “ Do you want this? “ 

“ I’ll want everything with you. “ 

“ I guess it’s a yes then! “

Everything is slotting into place 

///

“ Lexi! “ Ben called his daughter from down the stairs. “ If you ain’t got your school uniform on I won’t let ya walk Sniff after sch’ool! “ 

“ Daad! You can’t do that! “ Lexi cried out, her voice disapproving. 

“ I will lex, Cal will back me up on it as well! “ 

Callum walked to the stairs too and rested his hand on the railing. “ Daddy’s right lex, you know how he gets. “ 

“ You ain’t helpin’ here Cal. “ Ben turned to look at his boyfriend ( secretly his husband in his head because Ben has been fantasying about Callum being his husband for ages ).

“ Love you too Ben. “ Callum grinned and pecked Ben on the cheek before walking back into the kitchen to get Lexis school stuff ready. 

Ben sighed, turning his body back to the stairs again. “ you have 5 minutes Lex okay? “ 

“ fine! “ 

Ben walked through the hallway and into the kitchen where Callum stood putting the final equipment into his daughters school bag. Sniff waged his tail when Ben entered and jumped up to hug him. 

( “ Looks like we’ve finally got the pitball and all we need is the joint gym membership. “ Callum laughed lightly, repeating Ben’s words back at him. 

“ We don’t even go to the gym. “ Ben said matter of factly. 

“ Well we have the dog. “ 

“ a dog we haven’t even chosen a name for. “ 

“ Sniff. “ Callum blurted out, interrupting Ben. 

“ You What? “ 

“ Sniff the Pitball. “ 

“ How did I ever get someone like you Cal? “ Saying it without any unkindness to the words. ) 

Ben creeped up to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around Callum’s waist, resting his chin on Callum’s shoulder ( having to go on his tiptoes ). 

“ I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. “ Ben murmured, words slightly muffled as his jaw couldn’t move properly. 

“ Me too. “ Callum admitted. “ I never thought I would have this but - I’m so glad you came into my life and became an annoying arsehole. “ 

Ben breathlessly laughed. “ You aren’t exactly an Angel either Cal! “ 

“ More so than you. “ Callum smirked, turning around in Ben’s embrace and wrapped Ben tighter to him. 

Ben hummed, pressing his lips closer to Callum’s. “ You might be right on that Mr Highway. “ he kissed him lovingly. 

“ I am right Mr Mitchell. “ Callum grinned and returned the kiss. Which it was broken apart with Lexi calling them both because she is ready for school. 

“ I’ll see you later cal. “ Ben called. “ love you! “ 

“ love you too! “ 

They really want to marry each other and have anything and everything together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what this is. I hope u like this :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #24 -sleeping in

Ben used to love staying away from home to do dodgy deals ( a far stretch say, but he didn’t hate them ), but now he loathes being away from his little girl and boyfriend. 

It’s only one night Ben. It will go dead fast and you’ll be able to come home Ben. What a load of bullshit Ben thought remembering Callum’s words. It has been the longest night of his life without Lexi’s screeches and bubbly personality or Callum’s dorkiness and just his presence not with Ben. But now, after a night in a cold ( and too big bed ) in a hotel room he can finally go home. Ben practically flew out of the East End and straight for the square. 

When Ben saw all the regulars ( Martin selling bananas to customers, whilst Kush tried to sell badly designed dresses to woman ) - Ben was home. He walked to Callum’s flat and got his keys out to unlock the door. 

Ben had his suspicions up all morning. When Callum hadn’t texted him anything, but Ben put it to aside. It could’ve just been Callum forgetting where he put his phone again. 

And what Ben saw when he entered the flat and then the bedroom was heartwarming. Callum and Lexi snuggled together, Lexis head resting on Callum’s chest ( Callum was laying on his back ), with Cal’s head leaning against his step daughters. The ( a little over grown ) brunette hair all fluffy and messy laying on the pillow. 

They looked beautiful. This, them, that was Ben’s family and he couldn’t have asked for anything better. Ben quietly got his phone ( from the kitchen counter where he placed it ) and took a picture of them both. Then a second later Callum grumbled something and shifted, holding his daughter tighter against him. Like he is protecting her from the dark ( when it was morning - 10 in the morning). Ben felt tears in his eyes, he couldn’t have asked for a better family. 

Ben took off his clothes and put shorts on to be a big spoon against his boyfriend. All 3 snuggled together and slept.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #25 - Hugging

Callum sighed heavily on the settee. He can’t be arsed. There are too many people dying and he has to do a load of paper work for them. It’s not their fault, Callum knows, but could people stop dropping like flies for a day? 

Jay ain’t helping out with the work either, too loved up with Lola ( Callum is happy for them, he really is, but when you have to do loads of paperwork he becomes annoyed by them ). 

So, Callum has taken a break. A lunch break - to relax and try to get rid of the annoyance that has settled in his bones.   
The door opens and Callum can’t be bothered to speak, only Ben enters looking far from okay and Callum is immediately in protective mode. 

Highway comes up to him and gives him a back hug, resting his head on top of Ben’s head with his arms wrapped around his boyfriends waist. 

“ what’s the matter babe? “ Callum murmurs, all of his past problems forgotten about. 

Ben breaths out of his mouth, tilting his head back to rest on Callum’s chest. “ Nothin’. “ 

“ You know I won’t accept that answer. “ Callum warmly tells him, very slightly swinging them both side by side. 

Ben takes a short pause, before answering him. “ Can we just - have lunch and I’ll discuss it? “ Whines Ben, he wants a distraction. 

“ Sure. “ Callum agreed, pressing a kiss to the shorter man’s head and pulling away. Ben hating the loss of contact already. 

Callum stabs the fork into the seedy rocket leaves and tomato’s before glancing up at his boyfriend. Who is playing with one of the tomato’s with his fork. 

“ You gonna tell us what’s the matter? “ 

Ben blinks, once, twice, sighs, carrying on playing with his food. “ It’s just - Dad. “ he says dryly. “ Choosing favouritism yet again. “ 

“ this about keanu again? “ 

Ben rolls his head to the side, in an over exaggeration response. “ yes it’s about Keanu! It’s always ‘bout bloody ‘him! “ 

“ sorry. “ Callum mumbled awkwardly, not expecting Ben to snap at him. 

Ben reaches over the table and holds his boyfriends hand guilty. “ I’m sorry cal, it just annoys me sometimes because it makes me feel 2nd best. “ 

“ Well you ain’t. “ Callum assures him. “ You ain’t ever second best in my book! “ Halfway tried to lighten the mood. 

“ you have a book? “ Smirks Ben. Callum gives him a little kick in the shin for a non verbal response before adding. 

“ Lex adores ya, I’m quite fond of ya -“ Callum shyly smirks whilst Ben chuckles, stroking Callum’s hand with a thumb.   
“ Lola likes ya, Jay finds you annoying but he’ll do anything for ya. Pam sees ya as her other son. “ Callum lists on his ramblings. Ben frowns at him, confused, because his boyfriend is just mentioning a load of people and it feels like there ain’t no point to his ramblings.   
Callum sees Ben’s eyes slightly glaze over. “ What I’m sayin’ is, just because Phil don’t see your true aspirations and see you for you - fuck him off. “ 

Ben chokes out a surprised laugh at ‘saint’ Callum’s vulgar language. “ Callum! I never ‘eard you say such words before! “ Mitchell teases. 

“ Yeh I usually leave that for the bedroom don’t I? “ Callum plays along, cocking an eyebrow before returning back to the original conversation. “ What I’m sayin’ is, stop thinking Phil Mitchell is the only person in your life you have to look up too and get approval off. “ 

“ But He’s me Dad. “ 

“ yeh? My mums probably dead in a ditch clutching a alcoholic bottle. “ Callum states bluntly, making a point. “ Me Dad is a homophobic twat, Stu is the same like ‘him but does have a weird way of loving people. I ain’t got no role models, but I’m still nice and kind. I don’t care what they think because it’s my life and I’ll do what I thinks best. “ 

Ben raises his eyebrows, blowing out a surprised breath. “ and I thought me family were bad. “ 

“ Still are probably. “ 

“ oi cheeky! “ Ben points, non threatening, at him. 

“ Just be you Ben. “ 

“ But I don’t always want to be known as the bloke who terraces people and is always nasty. “ Ben admits, truthfully. He has been thinking about it for a long time now. He don’t always want the repetition of being cocky and horrible to people. He has Callum and Lexi to look after, he wants to change because of them. 

“ nobody’s askin’ ya to change Ben. “ 

“ No I know that but - I want lex to know I ain’t nothin’ like her grandad. “ 

“ You ain’t. “ 

Ben softly scoffed. “ Come on Cal, be truthful. I am like him. “ 

“ yeh okay fine - sometimes you can be but, you are so different to him as well. “ 

“ I don’t want to push the two people that mean everything to me away. “ 

“ You’ll only do that if you let it happen. “ 

Ben sighs. “ Keanu can knock up my little sister but he’s still top dog. “ 

“ I don’t get why your dad’s pickin’ him. “ Callum’s at a loss. “ But make Phil proud of ya, without always doin’ dodgy deals, or doin’ crime because that only puts you into danger. “ 

“ You sayin’ that I should just mellow down? “ 

Callum doesn’t comment on the wording. “ What I’m saying is show you want to change, express yourself more than being a complete prick. “ 

“ Cheers. “ Ben sarcastically says. 

“ Don’t completely change but make people want to approach you, make people want to like ya but don’t hide your past and your dodgy side because that’s what makes you, you. “ 

“ You should be a counsellor you. “ Ben tells him in full honesty. 

Callum shrugs, blushing from the compliment. “ I try me best. “ 

“ I love you. “ 

“ I love you too, even when I want to scream bloody murder at ‘cha. “ 

“ Maybe you can scream bloody murder in bed when I’m fucking your brains out. “ Ben slides his foot up Callum’s leg and pushing his toes into Callum’s semi hard on. Callum shares the same look and grins, eyes dilating with lust. Callum gets up from his seat and straddles Ben’s legs kissin’ him hungrily on the lips. He places both hands on Ben’s neck and jaw deepening the kiss both moaning. Ben slides his hand into Callum’s boxers, loving the weight of his boyfriend on him. 

“ Let’s move this to the bedroom shall we? “


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7.Panic 
> 
> * Grooming * 
> 
> Completely my alternative route & I don’t think this will happen but I do think Callum would be naive back when he was older 
> 
> All disagreements are welcome but please stay respectful

Callum frantically ran his fingers through his hair with the nerves and anxiety shooting inwards and outwards from his body. Leo was back, back in Highways life again. Callum thought he handled Leo, thought he kept it handled and controlled. Callum kept overthinking. He kept going over and over and over all the scenarios but he still doesn’t know the conclusion- only the possibilities. 

Callum feels the old, scared Callum make an appearance again. He heard the multiple of voices keep ringing in his head. 

‘ why didn’t you save me? ‘ 

‘ Such a good boy. You are skilled in the hands department or is that mouth department? ‘ 

‘Callum you could have saved me and you didn’t! ‘ 

Callum pushed his chair out and got up, chest contracting and tightening. He needed space but - his head is filled to the brim and Callum is scared of letting his hidden side out. Again. 

Callum has kept it away for so long and he feels it sneaking to the surface again. He doesn’t want to show that side of him again but - it might be too late. Like a ticking time bomb. 

-/- 

“ Well, well - well isn’t it the only Callum Highway. “ A voice comes from the shadows of the park. A cold bitter voice that would send a shredder down anyone’s spine. 

Callum looked up from the ground and felt his defences rail up. He erupted up from the damp bench and came face to face with the man he loathes. Leo. 

“ You fuck off -“ Callum went to push him only to have Leo grab onto both writs in a vice grip. He needs to show Leo he hasn’t broken him, that he hasn’t made Callum a terrified mess but - he has. 

Leo will always be Callum’s demon. 

Leo laughed nastily in Callum’s scared face. Leo can actually see the young Callum Highway in this man’s eyes. Reverted back. 

“ Now, now Cal-“ A flinch. “ -you don’t want to get upset do ya? “ Leo empathised the words, enjoying the torment. 

“ Why are you back ‘ere? “ Callum whimpered, remembering the exact words he said years ago. 

Leo smirked, tilting his head. No facial change when he gripped harder when Halfway tried to pull away. 

“ You love it. “ 

( Callum cowered away into the corner of the trunk, feeling petrified of Leo slowly walking towards him. “ Why are you ‘ere?” 

“ You love it. “ Leo corrected him, dominating. He was in Callum’s personal space and lifted Callum’s jaw up feeling it wobble in tears. “ You did good. “   
“ I don’t want to do it no more! “ 

“ You know what happened last time. “ ) 

“ No! Please just leave - leave me alone!! “ Yelled in distress. 

Ben stopped in his tracks hearing Callum’s distraught yell and he ran towards the sound. 

“ Nah. “ Leo lightly stated. “ I want you again. “ 

“ you wrecked me! “ 

Ben stopped quietly, observing the two men. All he wanted to do was rip that strangers man’s off his lover but he didn’t want to intrude. Too curious to pass up.

“ And I made ya into a man! “ 

Ben frowned. 

“ You changed me and I could never -“ 

Leo pushed his body into Callum’s seeming to be like the hulk of how strong he is. “ You never complained. “ 

“ I never wanted it. You groomed me! “ Callum confessed, only he didn’t sound strong or determined. He sounded weak, the weakest Ben has ever heard of anyone. 

Leo scoffed. “ Groomed? “ 

Callum frantically nodded his head letting the tears roll down his face. “ You and - and all the others groomed me! “ 

Ben’s whole face tightened. He put his hands into tight fists wanting to rip the man’s head off his body for grooming Callum. 

Nobody touches his Callum either in past or present. 

“ yeh? “ A unreadable smirk plastered onto Leo’s face. He quickly pushed Callum hard onto the ground. The silence filled with a gasp and the air literally knocking out of Callum.   
“ You know what to do, how this ends but if you want me to tell everyone how a dirty little -“ 

Callum wheezed, clutching his chest. He couldn’t move. “ No. “

Leo bent down feeling the pleasure of Callum flinching away from him. “ That’s my boy. “ he brushed his fingers through Callum’s hair and stood up to walk away like nothing happened. Ben checked to see the close was clear and jogged to Callum. 

“ Callum are you okay? “ It felt stupid to say considering Callum is gasping for air on the ground. 

“ f-fine. “ Callum grumbled in agony, rolling slightly holding his side wishing Ben would just go away so he can suffer alone. 

How he has been suffering for so long already. 

Ben scoffs lightly. “ mate you have seen ya’self yeh? “ 

“ Just leave - me alone Ben. “ 

“ Ain’t gunna h’appen. “ Ben replies, voice stern. He helps Callum up. Who screeches in pain and Ben repeatedly apologies till he lets Callum collapse on the sofa back at Cal’s flat. 

“ So who was that bloke? “ Ben curiously noses. 

“ nobody. “ Callum lies, a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. How much does Ben know/heard? 

“ You can talk to me. “ 

( “ It’s okay to talk about it Callum. “ Chris tells him, encouraging. 

“ I can’t. I can’t ever tell anyone. “ 

“ You can talk to me or anyone else. “ 

I’ll always be alone. ) 

Callum stares long and hard at Ben deciding if he should or not. Would it be okay? What if Ben laughs at him? The Callum Highway everyone knows will resent him, for the things he had to do. 

( “ DO IT CALLUM! “ 

“ NO! “ Callum screams, reaching breaking point. The gun shaking in his hand violently. 

“ SHOOT HIM CALLUM! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO -“ 

BANG 

Leo slapped Callum’s shoulder, proud. “ Well done. ) 

“ Cal? “ 

He blinks out of his flashback.   
“ W-What? “ 

“ You can tell me anything you know? “ Ben repeats, softly. 

A forced smile plasters onto Callum’s face. “ I know. “ 

Ben seems unconvinced but doesn’t say anything else. “ I’ll see ya later mate. “ he smiles, but Callum can see the wheels motioning in his head trying to work out Callum’s behaviour. 

Callum needs to get rid of Leo. 

-

After yesterday Ben has been restless. He can’t concentrate on work or Tubbs or Martin because Callum needs him. He might haven’t even said it but Ben knows, he ain’t stupid.   
All the messages he sent to Callum aren’t settling his nerves because the replies are only coming back with “ fine.” 

Ben walks in the pub and immediately spots his brother in the booth just at the side of the bar. He sits down next to him and takes a swig of the already there pint. 

“ Have you noticed anything weird ‘bout Callum? “ Jay requires to his brother in a hushed tone.

Only, Mick has his suspicions up. He keeps glancing at Jay and Ben from the booth under the window. 

Ben has flashes of Callum wheezing on the ground yesterday, of that bloke clutching Callum’s wrists like his life depended on it. 

“ Like What mate? “ he supposed instead, taking a gulp of his beer. 

Jay sighs softly, clicks his jaw and eyes gazing slightly unfocused. “ Like He’s hidin’ something. “ 

For Ben to not look odd either he agrees. “ He does seem - different. “ 

The double doors open and Callum stumbles in surprisingly drunk. Ben and jay frown, a rare occasion for the Highway lad to be drunk. Mick says as much. 

“ I’m just havin’ a good time! “ Slurs Callum, lolling on the bar front. “ Get us a double whiskey. “ Callum orders, his voice lost its usual softness. 

“ I ain’t -“ 

Callum slams his fist onto the wooden counter. The room winces from the painful bang. However, Callum seems to not notice, too consumed with anger and too intoxicated. Jay and Ben make their way over to them. 

“ Mick get me a fuckin’ whiskey! “   
Ben hesitantly touches Callum but he flinches away and pushes Ben off him. The Mitchell man tries to hide the hurt. 

“ Maybe you should go ‘ome Cal. “ Jay softly advices. 

Callum frowns turning to his boss and points a wobbly finger his way. Callum doesn’t look like Callum anymore. It’s like a shadow has taken over his body, hiding the innocent Highway away. 

“ Why should I listen to ya for? You’re just some lousy boss. “ 

Ben shoots his brother a look   
‘ he don’t mean it ‘ but he can see the stung in his eyes. 

“ If you feel like that don’t come into work later on. “ 

“ Wasn’t planning too anyway. “ Callum grumbles, turning to his father figure who watching him with a sad expression. “ Get me that whiskey mick or I’ll buy a whole b’ottle ‘ull. 

Mick sighs heavily getting his son ( he sees Callum as his son ) the whiskey. “ one and I ain’t servin’ ya anything ‘else. “ the landlord orders. “ And we’re havin’ words when you’re more sober. “ 

Callum rolls his eyes and shots back the whiskey slamming the empty glass onto the wooden surface. 

“ thanks for nothin’. “ Callum mumbles, he goes to walk through the double doors only to have Leo and Whitney walk in. Everyone spots Callum looking shaken but he stares Leo down ( who does the same ) and pushes past him to walk out. 

“ what was that about? “ Whitney frowns. 

Leo has an unreadable face on but tightens his grip around Whitney’s waist. “ He’s just drunk. “ 

Ben eyes Leo up, narrowing his eyes and pushes off the counter to follow Callum. The pub stays silent feeling the tension. 

Ben catches up to Callum ( who didn’t walk far ) and grabs his shoulder not at all expecting Callum to tense and practically cower away from Ben. 

“ Cal it’s only me. “ Ben comments, being calm to not scare Callum even more. 

Callum doesn’t speak. He keeps his head hung low, feeling dirty.   
“ Please just leave me alone Ben. “ 

He needs to tread carefully to not sound demanding. “ I care ‘bout ya cal. “ Ben lets out. “ I want to help ya. “ 

Callum turns around, shoulders still hunched and avoiding Ben’s gaze. “ You can’t help this. “ he says bitterly. 

Ben frowns at the hatred Callum has suddenly developed. “ I’ll try too - I’ll do anything for ya. “ 

Only goes Ben notice Callum sounding and looking more sober. 

“ tell Jay I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. “ Callum says out of the blue. 

A bit taken aback. “ Y-yeh course. He knows you didn’t mean it anyway. “ 

Callum wipes away his tears and turns, without speaking, to walk back to his flat. Only Ben follows too and walks along side him. 

“ I want you to open up to me. “ Ben firmly tells him without any heat. 

Callum pauses mid unlocking the door and looks at Ben vulnerability covering his features. Ben has never seen Callum look so young before, it is like he has reverted back to a younger person again. 

“ I don’t know if you’ll believe me. “ 

“ I’ll always believe everything you tell me Callum. “ 

And that seems to bring new tears to the surface. Callum opens the door and lets Ben in. They walk up the steep stairs in silence and Ben stops by the entering of the living room. Callum throws his keys onto the table and walks to the settee. 

“ Haven’t you got dodgy stuff to do with Martin and that other bloke? “ Callum comments, just remembering. 

Ben sits down next to him and looks at the side of his head. “ ain’t important. You are my 2nd main priority. “ 

Callum laughs sadly. “ I don’t mean anything to anyone. “ 

“ don’t say that. “ 

“ it’s s’true. I don’t, he’s right. “ shit. 

“ who? “ 

“ it doesn’t matter. “ Callum slowly chickens out. 

“ Please talk to me Callum. I hate seein’ ya like this. “ 

“ I don’t know - I don’t know where to start. “ 

“ From the beginning? “ Ben suggests, without any mocking tone to it. 

“ How long have you got? “ Callum bitterly says, trying to bring light to his words but it’s just wrong. 

“ All the time in the world for you. “ 

A shake of the head. A deep breath. A control in his voice slowly fading. A million and 1 thoughts rushing and battling. 

Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety.   
Paranoia. Paranoia. Paranoia. 

“ I was groomed. “ 

Silence. Pause. Silence. 

“ Groomed? “ A repeat of the word. He feels sick. He don’t have a clue how Callum is feeling. 

“ In the army. “ 

“ H-how long for? “ God he hopes he’s being sensitive. 

“ 5 years. “ 

Phah. Ben’s eyebrows shoot up. “ That long? “ 

“ I knew you wouldn’t believe me. “ Callum says his thoughts going to stand up only to have Ben gently pull him back down. 

“ I do believe ya. I know you wouldn’t ever lie about something like that. “ Ben recovers, needing Callum to talk more now since he knows. 

Callum rubs his forehead harshly. “ It’s hard to talk about. “  
“ was that bloke involved? “ Ben knows Callum knows who he’s referring too. 

Callum nods his head, god he feels numb. All the emotions coming back to him again. He thought he buried them ages ago. 

“ Leo. “ 

“ Whits new boyfriend? “ 

“ yes Ben, keep up. “ 

Ben shuts down. He is terrible at talking, especially when he is too out of depth with something. 

“ I - I was young. “ Callum starts, voice thick and deep with nerves. “ When me Dad chucked me out he wanted me to go to the army. “ Ben nodded his head, showing he is listening. “ I was - 16 years old, when I went to the army and I was - stupidly naive and gullible. “ 

“ Ain’t your fault. You left home too young. “ Ben filled in the gap, correcting him. 

“ But I should’ve known Ben! I should’ve known what they were doing to me at the start was bad! “ 

“ Only because they manipulated you. “ 

“ How do -“ 

“ because grooming is being manipulated ain’t it? They talked you round to something probably and becos you didn’t know about things you thought it was normal. “ 

“ They made me do some terrible things Ben. “ Callum breathed out. Ben rubbed Callum’s back knowing he is starting to have a panic attack. 

“ It’s okay baby. “ 

“ no it ain’t. “ Callum cried, choking out the confession. 

Ben brought his lover into his embrace and cradled him. “ They forced ya into doing something. It ain’t your fault. “ 

“ I should’ve-“ 

“ Even you said you were too naive and gullible back then. How could you know what they did to ya was wrong? “ 

“ I hate myself for what they did.” Callum cried into Ben’s chest. Ben carried on rubbing his lovers back and rested his chin on his head. 

“ They should only hate themselves Cal. Whatever you did - I support ya, I’ll never hate ya. “ 

“ You should. “ Callum disagreed. 

“ The things I’ve done I’ll be a hypocrite. “ 

“ I just - just want to go bed. “ Callum admitted. 

Ben pulled away and brought Callum to his bed and stood awkwardly at him sitting down. 

“ You want me to stay? “ 

Callum shrugged. “ I don’t know if I’ll be much company. “ 

“ Well I could come back in an hour and check on ya? “ 

“ can you tell me first when you’re here? “ Callum questioned. He feels so scared.

“ of course I will. “ Ben honestly replied. “ I’ll see ya in a hour Cal and if you need me just call me Yeh? “ 

“ Yeh. “ Callum weakly smiled. “ I-err thanks Ben. “ he stuttered, he feels so pathetic. 

“ it’s okay. “ 

Ben made sure Callum’s front door was locked before leaning against the wall. He needs a moment. Callum was groomed. All he wants to do is kill Leo for doing this to his Callum but even he isn’t stupid. He needs to act ‘nonchalant ‘ he can’t drive attention ( or more ) attention to Callum because Cal would drive him away. And Ben would suffer knowing half of a horrific story. 

He just wants to support Callum. To be there for him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #27 - watching the other sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still writing the part 2 of chapter #26. I’ve just hit a bit of a barrier in writing terms. 
> 
> So, I’ve posted this instead for the meantime

If somebody asked Ben what the definition of ‘beautiful’ was, he would say this moment right here. Callum dead asleep with his mouth half open, his left arm stretched out to his side ( where it was wrapped around Ben till he moved away, wanting to see the whole picture of Callum ) with his other arm resting on his bare stomach. 

In recent weeks Callum has left his brunette hair to grow out and Ben isn’t complaining one bit. There is more to grab onto now when Callum is sucking him off in The Funeral Parlour ( Jay still hasn’t caught them & they’ve been having quickies in there for months ) or when Ben is fucking against him and he wants to grip onto that sweet sweaty hair. It now rests on the puffy pillow messily but Ben doesn’t care because Callum still looks like a glowing angel. 

Ben scoots up on the bed with his knees and leans over Callum’s sleeping form. He puts his arm on the other side of Cal, to support his body weight and places kisses all over Callum’s chest. 

Ben doesn’t know why he woke up at 3’o’clock in the morning and he had a moment of reflect. 

To gaze at his gorgeous boyfriend and had the urge to kiss him all over. 

Callum shifts and groans, does a weird mouth movement ( like he is eating something) and goes back to sleep. Ben shakes his head fondly, the cuteness overload is too real. 

One day, Ben wants to wake up like this and see 2 wedding bands on their wedding fingers. To be sleeping in their very own bed, in a house they own with a load of kids and dogs. He wants the full package with Callum. The thought scares him to the very core, because he has never felt a overwhelming feeling like this before. He’ll always have Paul in his heart, but, Callum has filled up the whole shape. 

Ben feels his eyes droop and lies back down, putting his head in the usual place. On Callum’s chest with his arms wrapped around Callum’s waist pressing one last kiss to the warm skin. 

He will love him forever and keep on falling in love with him too.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #28 - Part 2 of “ panic “ - chapter 26

Callum still felt drained when he woken up from his deep sleep. The day was barely over and he was done in. The alcohol had done its job, he just wanted to drink away the problems and the feelings.

With a achy groan from the back of his throat he got up from his slumber. Callum walked into the kitchen area and gasped at the firm pressure on his shoulder as he spun around. Leo’s eyes were dark, his brunette eyes turning black like a devil when he pushed Callum further into the counter.

“ You’re hurtin’ me. “ Whimpered Callum, unable to not say it. The pressure increasing by the second in his lower back and with the stern pressure on his wrists from Leo gripping onto him.

“ Do you really think I care? “

“ P-please leave me alone. “

Leo pushed his body into Callum’s being invasive of Callum’s personal place. “ Why would I want to do that Cal? “ Callum visibly gulped hating the nickname Leo has always chosen for him.

Callum tried to remember Ben saying it, to remember Ben’s words, his touches and kisses but Leo has ruined all of that.

“ I haven’t - I haven’t done anything! “

“ No you ain’t but you are so easy to manipulate. “

Silence.

“ Now. “ Leo starts off shortly.

“ Do you want people to know what a dirty sleeze bag you are?”

“ You forced -“

“ ugh Cal, no wonder you are so alone.You do go on don’t you? “ Yawned Leo. “ Now, back when you were too innocent. Everyone had a bit of Callum Highway. “

Callum avoided his gaze. He felt small. “ And you were so good at the jobs we gave you that - I’ve gotta give a more. “

“ But - but why come back? 

Leo gave him a pointed look ‘ you really are thick ‘ “ Because since finding ya again I want to ruin you all over again. I want to torment ya and even have a bit of you. “ Leo grinned weirdly, sliding his hand down Callum’s tense front to his soft penis and rubbed teasingly. Callum shuddered, squirming away feeling his body react and he hated it. He felt victimised.

“ Oh look at that? After all these years and you still react to my touch. “

“ I don’t -“

Leo leaned into Callum’s body mouth to ear. “ I’ll send you details Cal, you better not ignore me or Whitney gets it. “

Highways eyes widen in terror. “ no you can’t! She’s done nothing! You can’t ‘urt her! “ Callum preached in fear.

Leo hummed happily looking back at his face again. “ You’re right and that’s why you are going to be my little muppet again! “

Trapped. _Suffocated_. Drowning.

“ Bye Callum. “ Leo pressed a peck to Callum’s cheek and walked out of his embrace and left the flat. Callum collapsed onto the floor shaking like a leaf. He wanted to he sick. He wanted all his insides to come out and rip his skin off feeling Leo’s touch on him.

Ben rushed into the living room panicking and skidded to Callum in the kitchen. Ben put his hands on Callum’s shoulders looking frantic and murderous.

“ Callum What has he done to ya? “ Ben demanded.

Callum sobbed into his knees

“ He’s back. “

“ What has he done? “

“ I can’t - I can’t do it again Ben! I can’t! “ Hysterically cried.

Ben cradled him into his side, Callum consciously falling his head into Ben’s chest.

Safe. Protected. _Loved_.

“ I won’t let you do anything Callum. “ Ben soothed him. “ I’ll protect ya. “

Callum sniffed hard, ignoring the stinging of the eyes . “ You can’t. He’s too clever Ben. He’ll just - just find another way! “ screeched Callum panicking again. Ben held his lover tighter, shhing him to calm him down.

“ We could tell the copshop? “

“ Nonono! “ Rocked Callum backwards and forwards reaching breaking point. “ They’ll find out what I did. How I - how I killed someone and I’ll get arrested for murder! “ Callum blurted out accidentally but he was too far gone to process the present moment. Ben sat still in shock. He didn’t expect to hear that from him.

Callum gasps deep from his chest, pulling away from Ben shaking. “ what if - what if Leo gets me and sends me back there? What if he tells the army and I’ll get arrested for murder and for betraying the army and government? What if they all find me? I can’t go to prison I can’t - I can’t!!! “

“ Just calm down Cal -“

Callum jumped up pacing around the living room like a mad man. Ben watches him unable to tame the usual calm and flustered Callum down.

“ I need to get rid of him. I can’t let him ‘urt Whitney because of me. I need to stop him. I can’t go to prison. I can’t I can’t - oh my god what if he’s set up cameras and they’re all watching me? “

“ Callum, “ Ben stepped forward stopping Callum from walking around in circles. “ just think rationally for a moment. “

“ I can’t Ben. He’s watchin’ me! He knows that I know that he knows and I need to stop him. “

“ Cal, you ain’t thinkin’ straight. People will know it’s ‘ou because you could cut the tension with a knife in the Vic. “

Callum shook his head violently now stopping and looking at Ben brokenly. “ I can’t be his muppet again Ben. “

Ben rubbed Callum’s arm. “ Then we will do something about it then. “ Callum frowned at the ‘we’ it’s like this mess is Ben’s mess now.

“ We? “

“ yeh I ain’t lettin’ you suffer on your own. “

“ but you have a life -“

“ Yeh you are right but I can’t watch you suffering on your own. “

Callum collapsed onto the sofa, long limbs stretching out in front of him. “ They wrecked me, they did. “ Ben sits beside him slouching down slightly too listening.

“ What did they do? “

“ Told me it was normal to do things and when I told them no. They would threaten me and because- because I was in the closet they knew somehow. “

“ Knew how? “

Callum shrugged his shoulders. “ I don’t know, I probably sent off those vibes or stared at men longer than necessary. “

“ and they hurt ya? “

Callum took a deep shaky breath. “ They would touch me, teasingly because they knew I didn’t know any better. “

“ And did Leo do that? “

“ Yeh. “ Callum swallowed thickly. “ Sometimes it was the other campmates but it was mainly him. “

‘ So you were a target? ‘ Ben assumed on his own. “ Did Leo touch ya when he came here? “ Callum froze for a second and Ben slowly slid his hand onto Callum’s. “ it’s okay to tell me Callum. I won’t do anything. “

A bit of a empty promise. It’s coming from his heart though, he can’t think of the idea of Callum getting hurt and he didn’t do anything to stop it.

Callum gasped for air for 3 seconds. The anxiety raising higher and higher drowning him.

“ H-he slid his h‘and down my body and into my - my shorts. He was t-teasing me. “ Callum uncomfortably told him his body feeling the cold fingers over his body. It feels ticklish. Callum wants to rip his skin off.

“ And then he kissed me on the cheek. “

Ben’s jaw clicked and locked.

“ Did he do anything else? “

Callum shook his head. “ don’t lie -“

“ Not touching but just being dominant and intimidating. He pushed his whole body against me making me feel - “ Callum shuddered, making him disgusted. “ him. “

And that’s when Ben had a sicking realisation. When he was dominant with Callum - did he trigger him and Ben didn’t notice?

Callum had a sick sense what Ben was thinking and looked him dead in the eye. “ It’s different with you Ben. I feel safe - I won’t lie I do have a nanosecond of panic but I feel - good with you. “

Ben felt his eyes tearing up. “ You should’ve said. I would hate it if I made ya -“

“ you haven’t made me do anything Ben. “ Callum firmly told him. “ With you it’s completely consensual. I want it. With - them it was - pushed. I didn’t want it because I didn’t - I didn’t know it was wrong. “ Callum rambled. “ it felt - wrong but - I know now I was groomed. “

“ Did anyone else help you? “

“ Chris figured it out. He told the other - ones and they stopped. I never saw them again. “

Ben was familiar with Chris but it was always lacking detail and felt there was more when Callum mentioned him.

“ and that’s why Leo is back for ya? “

“ Probably. “ He said quietly.

Ben blew out a breath not expecting to have this heavy topic dropped on him for the past 44hrs. He doesn’t care though, he is glad Callum has opened up to him and he will support Callum through anything.

“ What do you want to do about it then? “

“ I’ll have to do it. “ Callum informed, guilt, shame.

No other way out, except for one but it leads to consequences.

“ No Cal, no you ain’t! “ Protested Ben turning his body to look at his lover. “ I can’t let ya -“

“ there’s no other choice Ben. “

“ but the police -“

“ -won’t believe me. “ Callum filled in Ben’s sentence. “ There ain’t no evidence. “

“ What If the other army people clocked on something and didn’t -“

Callum huffed. “ I don’t know where they live. Let’s face it I’m alone in this I have to obey Leo or he’ll hurt Whit. “ he sadly explained the truth.

Ben sighed heavily, do you not care about yourself? Ben wanted to say but he knows Callum cares too much about Whitney.

He is Ben Mitchell and he can’t even think of anything to say. Never been good at talking.

“ Does he have any connections? “

“ dunno. “

“ We could send him a warning -“

“ which he know it was me. “

Fair point. “ I don’t want you doing it. “

“ you think I WANT TO DO IT BEN? “ Callum shouted, offended.

“ no of course not. “

“ I’m more experienced now. I know more. “

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Ben thought, less naive? In what aspects? Does Ben even want to know?

“ But he’s already hurt ya in your home. “ Ben reminded sadly. “ what if he hurts ya somewhere else? “

Callum gasps. A idea pops into his head and before he knows it he is getting changed quickly and getting his phone and keys. Ben rushes around him bloody confused and instantly in panic mode because he can tell Callum has an idea.

He doesn’t know if it’s good or bad.

“ Callum! Callum! Wait! “ Ben rushes down the stairs behind a too far ahead Callum. Only Tubbs knocks into him and Ben’s falling into the wall.

“ A date gone ‘rong Mitchell? “ Tubbs grins, cheekily.

Ben brushes his hands off his body and goes on his tiptoes frantically searching for his not-kind of boyfriend.

“ What’s got into you? “ Martin smirks smugly, loving that he is the one who can make the remarks. Especially to Ben Mitchell.

“ Nothing. “ Ben grumbles and heads off seeing Callum’s car driving away.

He needs to get to Callum before it’s too late.

-In Callum’s car as Ben was trying find him -

Callum tried to do his breathing exercises. The iPhone 6 shaking in his clammy hands with the numbers blurring. He stares at Leo’s number for 20 seconds before hitting call.

A wait. Pause. Phone picked up.

“ Well well Well Cal, I knew you couldn’t resist me. “

Bastard. “ I’ll do it. “

Callum can sense a quirk of the lip and an eyebrow. “ Oh Yeh? “

“ I’ll do whatever you want. “

“ Just like old times ay? “

“ You know it was all you. “ Callum snapped back.

“ And don’t you know it. “ Leo agreed coldly. “ I’ll send you the address. Come in 20 minutes. “

Phone line goes dead. Callum smirks stopping the recording. Leo was always a step behind in thinking.

-/-

Ben - Please tell me where you are

Ben - dont Do anything stupid Cal

Ben, voicemail at 13:20 - If I find out you have agreed to anything Leo has done I will go ape

Ben, voicemail at 13:22 - you know I won’t but please just - be safe Cal. I need to know if - voicemail ended.

Callum put his phone back into his pocket with the voice recorder playing. Deep breath. Breathe. Calm. Read script.

“ Callum! You came! “ Leo smiled psychotically. “ Remember all those times when you did? “ a dark smirk developing on the man’s pale skin at the innuendo.

“ What do you want? “

“ You rang me. “

“ After you breaking into my flat and harassing me.“

Callum tilted his head to the side. A new confidence blossoming. “ You want to tell me why you are after me again? “ he adds.

“ You have short term memory loss Highway? “

Callum smiled darkly. “ only for you. “ Leo’s face shifted and he started to walk to Callum. He brought his hands up and sorted out Callum’s crumbled jumper. Who looked away feeling disgusted at the touch and memories sprinting back.

“ I told you I want to enjoy the torture I’ve got held for you. I want you to be a good boy back in the day. “

“ And what jobs will that be? “

“ I want someone killed. “

Callum physically jolted by the calmness of the words. “ who? “

“ now that would be telling. Gotta keep that confidentiality. “

“ Not when I have to do your job. “

“ hmm true that. “ Leo hummed. “ what if you shut up and do what I tell ya? “ Leo’s voice hardened. “ Here ya go. “ Leo shuffled a brown envelope out of his jacket and pushed it into Callum’s chest. “ do not fuck it up and you and your direst Whitney will live another day. “

“ Don’t you get tired of this? You already did this back in the army.”

“ Yeh because you were so naive and I could groom you all day long. “ Admitted Leo, actually fucking admitted. Callum’s lungs felt the air knock out of them nearly. “ It took ya 5 years like but - it was good while it lasted? “ Leo grinned, like it’s a joke. It made Callum want to kill him for what he was put through.

“ How the fuck was it good? “ Callum angered. “ You and your lot groomed me for what? Just because I was a army chief? “

“ Because you was 16. We could easily manipulate ya and you went along with everything we said. “ Leo laughed.

“ You’re sick. “

“ Maybe I am but you still gunna so that job for me. “

“ And If I don’t? “

“ I’ll be more physical with you and put you back into your box. “

Callum was silenced, shocked, appalled.

Leo’s face lightened and stepped into Callum’s personal space again. He cupped Callum’s jaw and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “ Now you do that job for me Cal and I’ll get ya your money. “

Callum didn’t say anything. He felt frozen again, just like back at the army again. Leo has this methodical hold over Callum and it is like he has to obey to what Leo says. Silenced all over again.

-/-

Callum stared at the gun and the recording conflicted. When he was back at the army and didn’t do what Leo wanted he got forced into sex. They told him it was punishment and “ getting your experience “ they said. Callum knows now that it was rape.

The door opens suddenly and Ben rushes in red with anger ignoring Callum looking like he had an heart attack.

“ I’ve been ringing and texting you for the past 2 hours Callum! “

“ didn’t get them. “ Mumbled out the lie.

Ben shoots him an unconvinced glare before clocking the 2 items on the coffee table. “ Why you got a gun? “ he questions dumbly. “ Wait - you’ve seen him haven’t you? Callum I told ya -“

“ yeh I know what you said Ben! You don’t need tell me again. “ Callum Shut him up. “ He wants me to kill someone. “

“ you ain’t gonna do it are ya? “

Callum shrugged. He doesn’t know. Ben sits beside him. Now both men looking at the two items thinking. “ I’m scared of him. “

“ Don’t mean you do what he says. “

“ I have too Ben. “ Callum lets out frustrated. “ When I used to tell ‘hem no they raped me. They pushed me into havin’ it. “Callum’s voice quietened. 

Ben let a tear fall from his eye not bothering to wipe it away. That hurts. The times when they had sex and knowing Callum had those memories, when they done rough sex once ( they were a little drunk and desperate for each others touch ) and Callum had experienced the worst thing in The Army. It brings such a heavy weight to his chest and shoulders.

“ Cal I’m so sorry -“

“ I don’t want any apology. You’ve done nowt. “

“ Can I ask you a question? “

Ben starts off hesitantly.

“ depends on what it is. “

“ Was - was it all the - time? “ Mitchell struggles to speak, nerves.

Callum didn’t speak for a short while and when Ben was about to apologise ( again ). Callum started talking voice flat.“ Sometimes. If I did something wrong they would shout at me, hit me, or show me ‘how I need to be a good boy.’ “ Ben could tell Callum was repeating the quotation of what they told him.

“ You must’ve been so scared. “

Callum chuckled bitterly. “ one way of sayin’ it. “

“ do you want justice? “

“ I’ll still have those memories Ben. “

“ yeh but knowing he’s locked up? Knowing he won’t ever ‘urt you or Whitney. “ Ben let him know. “ With Stella -“ Ben shifted, instantly regretting bringing his abusive step - mother up. “ - now she’s dead I know I’ve got justice for my younger self. She’s dead. She doesn’t get to live her life no more and you can carry on with yours. “

Callum’s eyes hardened. “ how did she die? “

“ Fell - well dad pushed her - off a roof. “

“ and he didn’t get no bother from the police? “

Ben frowned at Callum’s weird tone he’s using. “ Why are you talking like that? You better not be planning something. “

“ No of course not. “

Ben didn’t like this change. You could always tell when Highway was lying but now it’s so convincing.

“ Did you record the conversation then? When you met him? “ Ben changed the topic.

“ Yep. “ popping the ‘p’.

Ben sighed, rubbing his forehead. “ Callum to be honest with ya. I don’t have a clue on what to do. You ain’t talking to me. “

“ I expose him. “

“ Are you sure? “ Ben didn’t seem so sure.

“ I tell the whole square and make him hated. “

“ what if they don’t believe ya? “

Callum looked sad again. “ Guess they never knew me properly then. “

“ just sleep on it Yeh? Then in the -“

“ I have to kill that bloke tonight Ben. “ Informed Callum bluntly. “ I don’t have the time to sleep on it. “

Ben’s heart started to race. “ I’ll do it for ya. “

“ No Ben I can’t -“

“ no! You can. I don’t want you having someone’s death on your conscience. “

“ already got that. “ Callum laughed emptily.

If he did go to the police. He’ll have to tell them everything. He even has a phone recording and the conversation recorded to prove that. So why isn’t he not doing anything? Ben’s right, just because he’s scared don’t mean he has to follow everything Leo says.

“ I’m gunna tell the police. “

Ben’s face lit up at Callum’s right decision. “ proud of you. You know I’ll be there with you every step of the way Yeh? “

All as long he has Ben. He’ll be okay.

-/-

Ben walked behind Callum giving him the space. Callum placed his hands onto the wooden counter with glass windows. The police looks at him waiting.

“ I want to report a crime. “ Callum anxiously told him, looking over his shoulder quickly and to have Ben smile at him to encourage him more. It helped. Actions speak louder than words.

“ I was groomed when I was sixteen, with other sexual assaults. Now my groomer has come back to blackmail me. “

“ and this man’s name? “

“ Leo King. “

-/-

Callum breathed out a deep breath, pressing his head back against the headrest in Ben’s car. “ You okay? “ Ben required.

“ Telling complete strangers about your abuse? Fantastic. “

“ What are they going to do now? “

“ They don’t have enough evidence. They have the gun, have the recording but of course not! That can’t be enough can it? “

“ Has he tried ringin’ you now? “

Callum shrugged. “ They’ve taken in my phone. To get the recording. So I’ll probably get punished for that after. “

“ No you won’t. I’m gunna stay with ya. “

“ I ain’t your responsibility. “

“ No but you are my priority because I love you. “

Callum turned his head to look at him amazed. “ you mean that? “

“ of course I do. “ Ben told him,in that tone ‘ you muppet.’

Callum broke out into a small smile sliding his hand over to Ben’s hand. “ I love you too. “ he sincerely vowed. “ but I ain’t ready -“

“ I ain’t pushin’ ya. I’ll never push you into anything Cal, all at your own place okay?! “

Callum squeezed Ben’s hand in response. “ I don’t want to go home yet. “

“ Well we could always get something to eat? “

“ in that burger place? “

“ Of course. I love wrappin’ me mouth around something meaty. “ Ben joked, lightening the dull mood.

Callum laughed through speaking. “ Ben! “

There ain’t enough words to describe how good it feels to see Callum laugh freely, especially from these last few days.

-/-

The cold laugh echoed into the square. Ben wrapped his arm around Callum as he shuddered from his evil abuser. How can he be laughing and living whilst Callum is so lost and broken?

“ Are you sure cal? “ Ben asked him, nervous for Callum’s state to worsen.

Cal visibly gulped and nodded his head. “ I - I need to. “

Ben shot him a smile, ‘ I’m here for you,’ and gently squeezed Callum’s side to start walking into the Vic .

“ oh ‘ere he is. “ Whitney suspects, eyeing Callum up in disgust. “ You get a thrill out of wrecking people’s l’ives? “

The room quietens down. Mick looks at Callum, he sees him like his son and can always read him. But now? Mick’s confused. “ Halfway, why did you get Leo arrested for? He wouldn’t ever -“

“ he would! “ Callum snapped at the landlord. The tension getting to him, surprised nobody else can hear his fast heart beating.

Whitney put down her glass and stood straighter intimidating her ex. “ Come on then halfway -“ she lets out the words slow and mocking. “ tell us why you got my boyfriend arrested? “

“ you don’t have to do this cal. “ whispered ben, seeing Callum’s body language look so ragged.

“ I ain’t hiding no more. “ Callum told her, told Ben, told everybody in the Vic with confidence. “ Your boyfriend groomed me back in the army. “

Gasps.

“ Your still saying that? “ Leo appears from behind them, intensely. Ben stands straighter getting ready to defend his Callum.

“ You did! You know you did! “ Callum pleaded.

“ Halfway come upstairs yeh? We can talk about this. “ Mick suggests to highway.

“ You don’t believe me so ya? “ Spins around Callum broken. Whitney walks over to her boyfriend and now both of them stand face to face with Ben and Callum.

“ Of course they don’t Cal. “ Mocked Leo, not letting Mick answer. . “ Why would you be saying this now? It’s been 11 years since you left for the army. “

Mick’s face shifts, eyes narrowing. “ So you admitting that aren’t cha? “ he directs to Leo.

Leo looks flustered but quickly recovers his posture. “ we were in the army. I was mates with ‘him but something in that brain of y’ous thought it was sinister. “

“ Callum wouldn’t just say you was grooming ‘him for nowt. “ Ben knows, crossing his arms over his chest eyeing Leo up.

“ Nah I wouldn’t, not our Callum. “ Phil appears from the booth and stands beside Callum. To protect him like when Jonno tried attacking him.

“ Well you don’t know him as much then do yah? “ Leo mocks.

“ He cheated on me. None of ya thought he’d be capable of that! “ Whitney defended them both, smugly.

“ Fair point. “ Louise mutters.

“ Shut up Lo. “ Sharon hisses.

“ I wouldn’t lie! “ Callum feels like dying.

“ but your sick brother with that nonce stuff -“

Mick points his finger in Leo’s direction standing just behind Cal. “ Our Callum ain’t nothin’ like that. He ain’t lyin’ I can tell. “

“ well I guess you’re more stupid than I thought. “ Whitney answers, upping her jaw up.

“ You was with h’im. Surely you believe him? “ Ben nearly shouts. He wouldn’t of thought Whitney would take somebody’s else’s side over Callum.

“ I thought I knew him till I found out he was gay. “

Leo eyes them all up, loving the thrill, loving to see Callum sink further and further down into dread.

“ The police let me go. Nobody believes ya cal. “ Leo patronises. “ Just tell us the truth. “

“ I am telling the truth! “ Callum lunges for him seething. Mick holds him back roughly. “ You ain’t telling anyone the truth! You know what you and rest of them did! “

“ Did daddy never give you enough attention? “ Leo says out of the blue, feigning interest. “ Or did he only give it in punches and beatings? “

“ shut up! “ Callum goes for him again.

“ cal calm down. “ Ben rubs his lovers shoulder whilst mick still has a tight hold on the lad.

“ Or your mum? “ Leo carries on, winding him up, laughing in his face. “ Loved sweet cally more or loved a whiskey bottle more? “

“ I’m tellin’ ya, shut up! “ Warning in Highways voice.

“ or what? “ Leo leans forward, teasing. “ yous gonna give us a peck on the -“

Thump.

Callum punches him hard in the face making the other man to fall back with force. Nobody can pull Callum away from punching Leo in the face. Too much consumed anger making Callum see just red.

Even the sweetest of people can only take so much.

Eventually, Phil, mick and Ben manage to drag Callum off Leo. Who is covered in his own blood and Callum’s. Barely conscious.

“ I told ya! “ Seethed Callum, sounding unrecognisable. The whole Vic in state of shock. “ I told ya to shut up and you ain’t! “

“ You’ve inherited your dad’s temper, gotta give that to ya. “ Mocked Leo, feigning impressed. Callum jolts go for him again and mick becomes the bigger man.

“ Halfway get to the back now and ‘alm down! “

Callum doesn’t move. He glares down at his abuser. He could kill him and not think twice about it. All the built up hatred now breaking out.

“ Now! “

Ben roughly pulls Halfway into motion and all 4 men go into the Vic’s kitchen. Mick gets out the first aid kit starts wiping the cuts on the other man’s knuckles in silence. Callum knows mick is disappointed in him for the way he has acted but he ain’t guilty.

“ You could’ve killed him Callum. “ Phil tells him instead, like it isn’t obvious.

“ And you would’ve been sent to prison. “ Ben adds.

Callum’s mouths form a straighter line not saying anything. He don’t care. It isn’t like him to be like this, to feel like this but Leo - he has changed Callum again. He has made everything come back up to the surface again and Callum can’t do anything to control it.

“ Halfway, what Leo said. Did he really - groom ya? “ Mick hesitantly asks him.

“ yeh. Yeh he did. “ Callum confesses, sad, hollow. Anything.

Phil glances at his son, a fraction of emotion showing on his face.

“ how long for? “ Phil pipes in.

“ 5 years. “

Mick’s and Phils eyebrows shoot up whilst Ben looks pained again. All he wants to do is walk out and clear his head, he can’t physically be able to stand there. Knowing his Cal was abused for such a long time.

“ why didn’t you not tell anybody? “

“ I didn’t know I was being groomed till i was far too late. “ Mumbled Callum, feeling suffocated. “ I told - I told Chris and he some how - got them to leave me only Leo never did. “

“ well let’s talk to Chris then. He probably got evidence on ‘him then. “ Mick suggested.

“ Chris is dead. “

“ and the police? Have you been -“

“ they don’t have enough evidence. The recording I have of Leo practically admitting it is not enough apparently. “ Callum bitterly told them all.

“ Fucking clueless they are. “ Phil seethed.

“ he’s never going to leave me along now. “ Callum said ever so quietly. You had to strain your ears to hear him.

“ We could get him for harassment? “

Callum pushed against his chair needin’ to be left alone. He can’t deal with any of this now. Everything is too much and he wants to die all over again.

/-/

6 months later

Ben snuggled closer to his boyfriend and kissed Callum’s warm shoulder sleepily.

“ mornin’. “ he murmured, against Callum’s bare chest.

“ mornin’ to you too. “ The brunette wrapped his arms tighter around Ben’s waist. “ I can’t believe yesterday really happened. “ he explored.

Ben hummed. “ You’ve got justice now Cal. Everyone believes ya. “

“ it feels weird. “ Admitted Callum as he played with his boyfriends hair.

“ good or bad? “

“ Good I suppose. I just - I can’t believe all these months have been worth it. To see all those - abusers sent to prison for years. “

“ I’m proud of ya. All of us cal. We knew you’d get justice. “

“ it’s just you, me, Lex and the future now. “ Callum pressed a kiss to Ben’s forehead.

“ Just us 3 and our future. “ Ben shortened and repeated with a glistening smile. He pulled himself up and pressed a soppy kiss to his boyfriends mouth.

The pain was worth it. To get here, to get that dark, hidden experience off his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel in parts of this I have lost motivation and had writers block. Which I did, I genuinely didn’t know what to write but i wanted this to get finished. I don’t know Leo’s last name, I’m sorry for that. 
> 
> Also sorry if this is a massive disappointment. If anyone has any comments please say.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #29 - drawing each other

Ben is a man with many skills. One of them being a very good artist, he could look at something and draw it. All the major and small details included. So, when his fiancé is cooking in their house looking more like a model than a funeral director. Ben draws him. The little outlines and the things surrounding Callum fading on the art paper. The shading in with the black highlighting Callum’s hair and the shorts he is wearing. Damm even Ben has included his boyfriends muscles and the drawing looks - wow. Callum says as much. 

Ben blushes, Ben Mitchell isn’t the sort to get embarrassed. Only Callum Highway would claw that side out of him. 

“ it’s nothin’ really. “ Ben covers, feels his cheeks go warm. Callum makes a face and gets the notebook suspecting the magical drawing. 

“ Ben, “ Callum empathises the word. “ You are dead talented. This is beautiful. “ 

“ Says the man who I was drawing. “ Ben replies back smugly. He gets up from the kitchen table chair and places his hand on Callum’s shoulder. Now both men looking at the artwork. 

“ babe, it ain’t nothin’ special Yeh? “ 

Callum pouts, looks like he is about to argue but internally sides against it. Defeats. “ Yous gonna keep it though yeh? “ 

Ben considers it for a moment, there isn’t a reason for him to get rid of it really. “ Of course “   
And the delighted face Callum has just melts Ben’s heart into goo.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #30 - One of them is sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, last nights EE ep was so GOOD! The Ballum kiss was so hot & sexy. Max and Tony really perform their gay characters to an excellent standard, watching the couple is so realistic. The actors really go down and fucking perform that script, especially the kisses, to a GODS GIFT STANDARD. 
> 
> When you watch other characters ( different soaps/shows ) you can feel the uncomfortableness, you can sense they’re not into it ( meaning, they are still themselves & not their characters) like how the characters are meant to be. I feel my describing is terrible but I hope u get the point? 
> 
> Also, can I just say. Max Bowden can play dark Ben to a capital T. The scene where the train was going past & you saw glimpses of Ben were - hot! Bloody hell, Max is the only Ben Mitchell in my book. 
> 
> I loved it how Ben entered Callum’s flat and was so soft. It was literally like he left his tough act outside the door & was his true self when he entered his safe place. I’m just astonished how well played Max and Tony play their characters. 
> 
> ( and now for some Tony/Callum appreciation) 
> 
> I loved Callum sticking up for himself & Whit ( on her defence) to Leo. I love him knitting up all the dots together & it just shows Callum isn’t to be messed with, because he ain’t thick. He is clever, but just a incredible angel dork 😂
> 
> I can’t wait for what is about to come for both characters, separately and individually together.

“ think I’m ‘dyin’. “ Groaned Ben, not moving because it feels like he is paralysed. 

“ You ain’t dyin’. “ Confirms Highway, bringing the herbal tea to Ben’s bedside table. 

“ Well it fuckin’ feels it. “ grumbles Ben. It hurts to even think and use his brain. He looks in the corner of his eye and sees the steaming tea and huffs ( barely huffs ). “ I ain’t got the energy to drink that shit. “ 

“ I’m gunna feed it to ya. “ 

“ oooh kinky Cal! “ Ben coughs out and winces from the PAIN. 

“ it’s a lemon and lime drink. “Callum states bluntly. “ nothing kinky ‘bout that. “ 

Poor innocent Callum, Ben thinks. Bless his boyfriend.   
“ never mind. “ 

“ Right bring your ‘ead up. “ Instructed Callum. 

“ Ain’t gunna happen. “ 

“ Lazy. “ 

“ I’ve got the flu! “ 

Callum slaps his hand on Ben’s shoulder and literally drags Ben up from the bed. “ I would say that was hot but -“ Ben coughs at Callum and winces and grumbles again. “ - that fuckin’ hurt. “ 

“ soz Babe. “ Callum at least looks guilty. “ You want a straw or drink straight from the mug? “   
“ unfortunate term of phase. “ 

Callum rolls his eyes, remembering the time in The Queen Victoria bogs when Ben said that. “ Straw? “ 

“ Yeh. I’m very good at sucking on something I am. “ Ben smirks slightly. Only it looks wrong, considering how illy pale Ben looks with the black bags under his eyes. 

“ I’ve had better. “ 

Ben slowly turns his head at him. Callum should be proud actually because that is the first movement Ben has done for at least 4 days. 

“ You jokin’? “ 

“..Yes...” 

“ give me that straw. “ Callum does as he’s told. Ben drinks the whole tea, only becauseCallum refused to take it away when Ben made gagging noises. 

“ I hate you for forcing me to drink that shit. “ 

“ I love you too babe. “ Callum smiled sweetly, leaving the mug on the bedside table. He gently pushes Ben back down who groans. It feels like he is floating. 

“ take me glasses off and me hearing aids. “ 

“ but you’ll be unable to ‘ear anything. “

“ that’s the point Cal. “ Ben says with his eyes closed. Callum does as he’s told reluctantly. He presses a kiss to Ben’s forehead and leaves the room. 

Callum loves Ben he really does but if Ben becomes ill again. He’ll happily go on holiday for the foreseeable future of Ben’s hypothetical illnesses. 

Okay he’s lyin’ he’ll always look after his boyfriend when he’s ill. 

-/- 

Callum thought he heard something, like someone was calling his name but every time he paused and listened tensely there was silence. Till, what felt like the millionth time, the same calling was heard and Cal realised it was Ben. Callum jogged up the stairs and was met with a very emotional Ben. He was crying and looked so vulnerable it broke Callum’s heart. 

“ hey what’s the matter? “ Callum soothed him, rubbing Ben’s arm up and down. 

Ben coughed, looking like he was straining to find the words. Ben saw Callum’s lips moving but he barley heard anything, only sounds that would be heard under water. He regretted telling Callum to take out his hearing aids. 

“ H-hearing aids. “ Ben breathed out, his voice rustier than normal. Callum made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth and put the hearing aids into Ben’s ear and waited for him to speak. 

“ I - I was callin’ ya for ages. “ Ben whimpered. It felt like a knife to the stomach hearing Ben sound so little. 

“ I’m so sorry I didn’t ‘hear ya properly. Every time I thought I did -“ 

Ben cut him off. “ I regret tellin’ ya to take out my ‘earing aids. I felt so - so alone. “ he whimpered. Only showing his vulnerability in front of Callum because he feels safe and protected with him. 

“ Oh babe. “ Callum breathed out, feeling so such sympathy for his boyfriend. He lay down beside him and hugged him. 

“ I’m sorry Ben. “ 

“ You’ve got nothin’ be sorry for. “ Mumbled reply. “ please just - just stay with me - don’t leave me. “ 

“ I’ll never leave ya. “


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #31- trigger - implied rape/injuries afterwards ( I wouldn’t say graphic but please be mindful in reading !) 
> 
> Prompt 1 - Ben or Callum being raped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always feel horrible when I write this sort of horrid experience/assault. But I like ( wrong wording, sorry! ) how to express the individual’s feelings and how they may cope afterwards? 
> 
> In this I wanted to write cal, because I thought, well, he is inexperienced and he may not know the dangers or how someone ( a bloke ) can manipulate him. I thought he is more of a vulnerable target than Ben. ** I’m not saying Ben wouldn’t get assault but in this Callum is naive and because of his kind nature. He wouldn’t really pick up on the manipulative techniques. 
> 
> I just don’t want ppl hating me for writing this and for my wording! If i have written this in a wrong way please tell me. I didn’t do it intentional at all, i will fix the pointed out mistakes. 
> 
> But if ppl do want a second chapter of this I’ll do it. I was going to be a 2nd one, but i didn’t want this 1 chapter to be too long.

8.silenced 

Ben would never -not -let Callum be happy. He loves Callum too much to watch his soulmate be miserable and unhappy - like when he was with Whitney. Ben knows Cal loved her, but, he was hiding his true self and was suffering in the process. 

And that is why Ben agreed with Callum to be mates, best mates, whatever you want to call it ( friends in love? ) 

Callum was going out tonight. In London, away from the square and having peering eyes glaring into him ( hint - Whitney ). He was excited and nervous and felt the adrenaline flush through his veins. 

And he was alone. 

He told Ben that he is discovering his preferences ( in men ) and that he’ll be fine. When Ben offered to come with him, Callum declined, not because he’s ashamed of being out with Ben, but because it would be unfair for his love to watch him meet new guys. 

Hence why Ben is sitting in the dim living room at the dining table starring at his phone. He is worried about Callum being alone out in London and vulnerable. Ben obviously knows the Highway lad is an adult but when you have no experience ( at all ), no concept of the dangerous ( whilst being intoxicated/men being manipulated etc ) Ben didn’t want to leave Callum alone.   
But he reluctantly respected Callum’s choice to leave going out with him. The Mitchell bloke didn’t want to seem pushy, dominating Callum too much. 

It is killing Ben to no end. Especially when Callum has stopped texting him around 10 minutes ago. Ben leaves his phone at the table and grabs a beer. 

-

Callum tapped his foot to the beat of the pop music observing the environment. It is active, illuminated by laser beams and shooting neon shapes. 

Callum opted for a busy bar, the first gay bar that caught his eyes. It was - good but strange being here. The ‘ gay man night of horniness ‘ was booming with life and Callum never felt so alive. Okay, maybe a tad over exaggeration but more so without Ben. He misses him. But they are mates! So Callum has to put up and shut up about his beating heart of love... 

“ Aren’t you a fine thing? “ A man creeps up to highway, nearly purring with impression shown on his face observing Callum’s movements. 

A blush crept up onto his cheeks and bit back a nervous smile. Which made him look too cute than necessary. 

“ Awah blushing already are we? “ the man smirked, eyes darkening when he stroked Callum’s cheek with a finger. 

“ N-no. “ Callum found his voice and also found it squeaky with nerves and anxiety. 

The man laughed at Callum not in a mocking way. Callum felt more confident after internally composing himself. 

Does this man like him? If he didn’t he wouldn’t be talking to Callum would be? And Cal has gotta admit, this man is pretty decent, not Ben Mitchell decent, but good enough decent. 

“ Whats cha’ name? “ Callum asks, sipping from his beer. 

“ Luke. “ Luke answers, leaning forward closer to Callum with something in his eyes Callum can’t name. “ but you can call me whatever you like honey. “ 

Okay a bit forward. But wasn’t Ben forward anyway with him? No, actually he was teasing. But was it? Fucking hell Callum stop having a mental crisis, flippin’ heck. 

“ Yous gunna tell me yours or are ya gunna stay anonymous? “ referring to exchanging names. 

Callum bit back a chuckle. Okay this isn’t going so bad. He can do this. “ Callum. But you can call me anything you like too. “ he silently hesitated but went to stroke Luke’s hand with a flirting smile. 

“ You are too cute Callum. “ Luke announced. “ are you this cute in the bedroom? “ 

“ You’ll have to find out. “ A cock of an eyebrow, flirting back. Is this what you’re supposed to do? Flirt? He thought abstractly. 

“ A man with a mystery. I love unfolding a story and seeing how it all breaks apart. “ 

“ hmm. I like crime shows too. “ 

Luke chuckled darkly. Callum didn’t seem to notice the hint of danger in Luke’s voice with his earlier reply. 

“ Do you live near? “ 

“ No I live in Walford. “ 

Luke nodded his head, sucking in his bottom lip and biting it, starring intensely at Callum. “ I’ve got a hotel near by. You want to come? “ 

“ I - I don’t normally do flings. “ shit. Shit. Shit. He was bricking it, it feels like he is cheating on Ben. 

“ Well we can have a coffee and get to know each other better can’t we? “ Luke stroked the full length of Callum’s arm whilst talking. 

Deep in Callum’s gut it felt wrong. All this just felt - odd, unsafe, maybe this man genuinely wanted to get to know him. Why would a person want anything more? They can just have coffees and talk and then Callum can go back home. 

“ yeh okay. “ Agreed Highway easily, smiling softly taking a gulp full of his nearly finished beer. Luke chuckled in the back of throat and locked his right hand with Callum’s right, before pulling him in the direction of the exit. 

Callum felt a buzzing in his head. The alcohol helping to soothe his nerves whilst pushing away the doubts and dangers. 

The night ahead going to drastically change his life forever. 

-  
Ben - 12:30 - are you okay? 

Ben -12:59 - Callum, pick up the phone 

Ben 01:02 - voicemail - Callum please pick up the phone. I’m worried ‘bout cha. I don’t want you out in London on your own, I don’t want ya getting hurt. Just - just text me yeh? so I can pick you up. 

-

Luke lets out a ‘relaxed’ breath zipping up his fly and buttoning his brown belt around his jeans. He didn’t knowledge Callum laying lifelessly on the hotel bed, just starring into space unmoving. 

Luke groaned, eyes dark. “ Cal don’t act like this. You were the one playing hard to get. “ he moved closer to the bed ignoring at the way Callum tensed scared. “ You wanted me. You was moaning ‘n’ the lot! You liked rough and you got it don’t be so ungrateful. “ Luke disapproved, disappointed. He leant closer to clasp his lips against Callum’s cheek and rubbed Callum’s naked, bruised back. “ I’ll be back again if you ever want some rough sex. “ he grinned, coldly, like what they just did was 100% consensual. He got up and got his jacket from the floor and other accessories. 

He stood at the hotel door, hand on the door nob before looking back at the broken man. “ Oh by the way this room has been payed for. So you don’t have to worry about money! You dirty little slut. “ a loud echoing laugh escaped his lips and walked out slamming the door shut behind him. 

Callum couldn’t move. Empty. Victimised. Lifeless. Changed. How could this happen? Why did that man have sex with him when Callum said no repeatedly? Why ignore Callum getting distressed by the second? He ( Callum ) thought Luke was being nice, he thought they would just have coffees and talk. All this is Callum’s fault isn’t it? He’s brought this onto himself. 

What a laughing stock he is. 

-

Ben can’t concentrate on work. It is now 11am, 16hrs since he last saw his Callum and Ben is beyond worried with anxiety.   
Ben sighed heavily with a groan throwing his pen down onto the half written papers and locked the car lots door shut. 

He’s gunna find Callum. 

Fortunately for him Callum is walking back to his flat slowly. Ben frowned at the man’s slumped posture. Highway looked in pain, like he seen someone kill a puppy. There was a weird vibe about Callum and Ben didn’t like it one bit. 

“ Cal! “ 

( “ come on Cal! “ ) 

Callum stiffened to a log. He cowered in fear, Luke was back. Did he follow him all the way back? 

“ Please don’t - please don’t do it again -“ Whimpered Callum, turning his face and body against the brick of the flat wall. 

Ben let the hurt and confusion be evident on his face. “ Callum it’s me. Ben. “ he reached out to touch Callum to know it is really him but Callum flinched from the non touch. He tensely flicked his eyes to Ben like he was expecting it to be a sick joke but no- it was really Ben standing there. 

In most cases Callum would feel safe and protected but now? He felt like he died. 

“ I need - I need to go -“ 

Ben didn’t respond at first. He narrowed his eyes and looked at the dark patches on Callum’s neck. Now looking at Callum properly he looked like he’d been through something traumatic. 

“ What’s happened to ya? “ 

Raped. I was raped. I - I met someone and they -“ nothing.” Callum blurted out instead. He can’t speak. He feels sick, he might actually be sick. 

“ I don’t believe you Callum. “ 

Tears drop from Callum’s eyes. A minute away from a emotional breakdown. Callum quickly opened the flat door and let Ben in. They both walked up the stairs and Callum heavily sat on the sofa and started to cry from the pain and distress of what happened to him. Ben sat next to him putting his hand on Callum’s arm who shrugged him off. 

“ I met - I met a bloke. “ Choked out Callum, not meeting Ben’s half murderous gaze. 

Ben’s jaw locked and clicked. He felt the flurry speeding down his veins a thousand miles per second. “ And he hurt ya? “ 

“ He -ra-raped me Ben. “ Callum burst into a painful sob, crying frantically into his hands. Ben couldn’t move. He physically could not move a muscle. Callum was - raped? His Callum! Whilst he was sat at home fretting over Callum - he was experiencing the worst physical thing to happen to somebody? 

Ben mentally shook himself and cradled his soulmate. He rubbed Callum’s back in a calming rhythm, resting his head against Callum’s head. 

“ it’s gunna be okay. It’s gunna be alright Callum. I’m ‘ere now. I won’t let anything hurt you no more. “ Rambles. It felt like he wasn’t even saying it no more, everything felt - on its axis. 

“ It ‘urt so much Ben! “ Callum’s throat wobbled, gasping through sobs. “ He wouldn’t stop! I kept saying no - but -“ 

Ben tightened his hug, cradling him more. “ I know, I know. “ the words left his lips loosely. 

-

Callum cleared his throat awkwardly when Ben was still sat on the sofa. Callum had a shower needing to get that man’s scent and touch off his skin but - Callum still felt him. 

“ You - you can go if you want. “ 

Ben frowned. He doesn’t know how to approach Cal, he is too out in depth. This is such a sensitive and fragile situation that Ben can’t afford to fuck up. 

“ I don’t want to leave you on your own. “ 

Callum adverted his lovers gaze and fiddled with his hands. The dark bruises on his wrists evident. “ I don’t want you stoppin’ your ‘ife because of me. “ 

Ben slowly got up and walked over to him with the calmest expression not wanting him triggered. “ It ain’t stopping Callum. I want to support you. “ 

“ I don’t know what to do. “ confessed Callum, brokenly but no tears came to the surface. “ I feel different. I’m not me no more. “ 

“ Don’t you ever say that again. “ Ben couldn’t help to sound stern. “ He ain’t changed ya. You are you. You’re the same dorky Callum Highway that I fell for. “ a slight smile and glow to his eyes brightened. 

“ It feels it. “ Callum whispers, throat tight. 

Ben stepped into Callum’s space and pathetically questioned Callum permission to touch him. When he got accepted Ben placed his hand very loosely on his lovers arm. 

“ He has not changed you Callum. He is scum. You - you may feel like this for a while but you’ll soon realise you are exactly the same as before. “ 

“ I hate him. “ Callum’s chin wobbled. “ I hate him for doing this to me. I feel - I feel so so strange and I - I don’t know how to describe it! “ 

“ can I give you a hug? “ all he wants to do is put all his words and emotions into that embrace. 

Admittedly, he don’t know what to do or say. Only, he does know what to do. He will find that rapist and he’s gunna make him regret ever touching his man. 

When Callum has calmed down, sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea. Ben observes him. Bruises, cuts, love bites covering his lover and the flurry washes up in his veins again. 

“ Yous decided about telling the copshop? “ 

Callum shook his head. “ I don’t want to talk about it. “ 

“ but you can get justice! “ 

“ And they probably don’t have enough evidence! “ 

Ben frowned. “ they have the CCTV footage, your clothes - all your injuries-“ 

“ and they’ll probably say the footage shows nowt! I willingly went with him! “ 

“ What about your clothes then? “ ben challenges him. “ They have his DNA on them. “ 

Callum huffs, rubbing his forehead not knowing his hoodie sleeve rolled up showing the bruises. Ben bites back the cry of the reminder. 

“ And it don’t show nowt! What if they just say it’s rough sex? “ 

“ Your injuries say other wise. “ Ben darkly reminds him. 

“ I just don’t want to look like a laughing stock! “ 

Ben made a quick move and sat next to him grabbing Highways hands. “ You ain’t a laughing stock, not to me. If they don’t believe ya, if the bloody square don’t believe ya. I will. I ain’t goin’ no where. “ 

Callum anxiously looked up and blinked at him. Scarred. “ you promise? “ 

“ I promise. “ 

“ Okay then. “ barely a whisper. 

“ Yeh? “ 

“ Yeh. “ Callum sounded more confident than a second ago. 

I’m so proud of you. Ben instead opted for a hug, digging his nose into Callum’s shoulder feeding the pride into the grace.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #32 - Ben gets sexually assaulted 
> 
> Please mind for triggers and read with care. 
> 
> -alcohol abuse ( not shown, very implied), slight references to suicidal thoughts ( again referenced and not grafic ), sexual assault ( not too grafic but it does show - touching ), anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this is slightly better written than my last chapter. Which is a shame but for the second chapter I will write it for justice! ( for the Callum chapter). 
> 
> Thank you for the 2 comments, you both for giving me 2 ideas that made this one shot. I do like how I’ve written this and I do hope you 2 and other readers like this too?
> 
> I googled sexual assault and I hope I have written it correctly? If not i am sorry but I hope I haven’t done a terrible job at writing it. 
> 
> Criticism is welcome but please stay respectful when you’re stating out your opinions.

8.broken 

Ben tucked his collar of his dark black dotted shirt up to flattened it out in the mirror. Ben knew he looked good, like, really good. Ben’s hair was styled with a slight quiff and had that messy - yet neat - vibe to it. 

“ How did I get a model of a boyfriend? “ Callum appeared, standing by the bathroom doorway of his flat. He observed his boyfriend who smirked at him, nearly blushing and not breaking eye contact in the reflection. 

“ You let me torment cha be’cause you knew you loved me. “ 

Callum huffed out a fond chuckle, making 2 wide steps to his shorter partner and back hugging him to rest his chin on Ben’s shoulder. 

“ You shouldn’t look this attractive babe. “ 

“ Hmm. Yous not so bad ya’self. “ Ben said as he sprayed his fruity cologne onto his neck and couple of sprays on his body. 

Callum coughed when he breathed in the chemicals. 

“ Okay never mind Cal. Yous choking on cologne? “ Ben turned to him who was red from embarrassment and half suffocating. “ How did I ever get a boyfriend who is a muppet? “ 

“ You love me? “ Choked out the words. Callum had a wonky smile and recomposed himself and kissed his lover on the lips. 

Ben scoffs. “ at least that is one benefit babe. “ 

“ so when are you goin’ then? “ 

“Don’t sound too pleased babe. “ Ben crosses his arms over his chest leaning against the sink with no negative body language radiating off his form. 

“ Haha, Yeh I’m gunna ‘ave a great time! Me, Netflix and unhealthy food all to me self! “ 

“ Hmm and your beautiful, sexy boyfriend ain’t there to cuddle up to ya! “ 

“ what will I ever do now? You know I long for those beautiful lips against flushed skin. “ 

Ben burst out laughing. He couldn’t hold it in no longer at their ‘ banter conversation.’ 

“ I love you Highway. “ 

“ I always knew I was the Highway in your life. “ 

“ pfft fucking hell Callum. “ 

Callum grinned teasingly and pecked him a more sloppy kiss on the stubble cheek. “ You are the only man I have eyes for. “ 

“ Good. I ruined you for any bloke and you. are. all. mine. “ a kiss to every last word. 

Callum bit back a dirty moan. “ you really have to go? “ 

Ben pulled back with a hum of acknowledgement. “ You know I ain’t seen me mates in years. “ 

Callum whined. “ You better make it up to me when you get back baby. “ 

“ I’ll do that tongue thing you like? “ Ben questioned, cocking an eyebrow of smugness. “ I n’ever have thought Callum Highway would be such a dirty minx! “ 

“ It’s what the Mitchell Foundation does to ‘ma. “ 

“ The Mi- The Mitchell Foundation? “ Ben repeated, astonished by what his soul mate even came out with. “ Oh no cal, I can’t believe you even thought of that! “ 

“ Mmmhmm. “ 

“ such a cute baby gay. “ Ben breathed out relaxed whilst checking the time on his wrist. “ The night ahead a waits unfortunately. “ 

“ Have a good time babe, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. “ 

Ben huffed teasingly with sarcasm. “ what? Socialise? Do ‘crime’? Drink more than a beer full? “ 

“ Yeh I don’t miss you no more. “ 

Ben chuckled, wrapping his arms around his giant of a man and kissed him affectionately. They basically snogged and kissed and dirty moans till Ben dragged himself out of Callum. 

“ Gotta go. “ a whine. 

“ I’ll leave the door unlocked for ya. “ 

“ so considerate. “ 

“ That’s why I’m considered the nicer one out of the two of us. “ 

“ ...thanks cal....” 

“ no problem babe. “ 

-

So the boozy night was going - meh. Ben used to be best of mates with his friends years ago, but since it’s been 7 years, since they have all grown older. They have also disconnected and drifted away from each other. It is awkward and they’re like a jigsaw that isn’t fitting together. Which is why Ben is standing at the too colourful bar, a beer in hand and texting his boyfriend in the other bored. 

Till someone snipes his phone away and he is about to head punch the tosser for taking his phone. 

“ Oi! Wut you think you’re doin’?! “ Ben angrily raises his voice putting his own property back into his bottom -safe. 

The stranger laughs whilst fake surrounding. “ Yous got dirty stuff on there or something? “ 

“ Nah I ain’t and even I did ‘ave. it ain’t nowt to do with ya. “ 

“ oh come on Ben. “ 

“ ... oh did you? “ 

“ Charlie? “ Charlie states out, like it is obvious. “ The hookup from months ago? “ 

“ I don’t? “ Ben says confused and is cut off abruptly when Charlie lunges his hand into the front of Ben’s jeans. 

“ - Get the fuck -“ Ben pushes the man backwards violently. “ you fucking stay away from me, you pervert! “ 

Charlie laughs amused. “ Yous never used to be this sensitive ben. “ he says knowingly. 

Ben feels his chest tightening and hates to admit it but he’s scared. He feels exposed and horrible and he’s rushing off needing Callum till suddenly he is pushed in an empty bathroom. 

“ Get off me! “ Ben tries to push the man off him. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Too much pressure. Images of Stella abusing him. Phil attacking. It’s all too much. Foggy. Misty. 

He never remembered this Charlie - being so so strong? When did Ben become so - weak? 

“ I know you love rough Ben. “ Charlie says from the back of his throat. “ i don’t get why you’re acting so - touchy? “ 

Ben growls seething from anger and terror, pushing roughly at the man to get away. “ Because I ain’t available. “ 

“ When did the cheap Ben become faithful? “ Charlie laughs in his face. Ben bits back the hurt, feels the tears forming and he is scared of what could happen to him. 

He just wants Callum. 

“ get off me! “ 

Charlie ignores the increasingly distressed human and slides his hand down into Ben’s boxers again and fiddles with the non boner. The breath hitches in Ben’s throat, feeling nothing but panic. He digs his fingers into the man’s arm to get the grip away from his throat but nothings working.   
His muscles are failing him and he feels like a little boy again but with a completely different scenario. 

“Aw ain’t someone feeling it tonight? “ Charlie torments at Ben’s lack of activity in the south. 

“ Please - please stop - don’t -“ 

Callum. I want Callum. Callum ain’t like this. He wants safe. He wants Callum. 

“ Ben Mitchell begging? Hmm more like him now aren’t cha? “ 

“ Get off-off me! “ Ben growls one more time and Charlie stumbles into the toilets. Ben uses all the strength he has and wallops him one, making him fall the floor with a thump. 

Ben legs it out of the nightclub. He doesn’t even think of his past mates. He runs and runs till he is in a badly lit alleyway and barely breathes. He can’t physically get his lungs to function again. He honestly thought- he really thought he was going to get - 

He can’t even bring his brain to the concept of it. 

Ben still feels that man’s hands on him. He still feels Charlie touching him where only Callum is meant to touch him. Where he is meant to feel safe and protected and loved but - Charlie’s wrecked that. Ben can’t stand it no more. 

He just wants to go home. 

-

Ben quietly walks into the dark flat feeling at his lowest. He slides the keys quietly onto the kitchen table unable to get his brain from not remising earlier events. He glances to the further away living room where the settee sits and there’s scattered beer cans and pizza boxers and bowls of chocolate ice cream been eaten. 

The smallest and slightest smile spreads on Ben’s face. He can perfectly picture Callum munching away on unhealthy crap as he killed Zombies in a t-shirt and boxers on. But as fast as the image of Callum appears Charlie appears and Ben wants to rip his skin off. 

Ben checks on Callum because he can. He just needs to know his love is safe and okay and asleep and he is okay. In a deep, undisturbed slump and Ben very gently places a kiss to Cal’s forehead. He brushes the loose hair from Callum’s full shut eyes and feels his heart contract when the unconscious man mumbles and shifts in his sleep. 

Ben pulls away and goes into the bathroom, softly shuts the door and locks it. Then that is when all the paranoia sets the motions in check and Ben goes in a trance of getting undressed to go into the shower. 

He is too exposed. What if people saw him being weak? Why is he so weak? Phil is right, has always been right, he ain’t a Mitchell. He is just a ponce. He couldn’t even get another bloke off him. He was all teary eyed and frightened and scared and he couldn’t even push the bloke off him? Bet Phil would be laughing at him, but Phil would give him the look of disappointment and not concern. 

The freezing cold water splashes onto Ben’s shoulders. Ben bends his neck back to a far stretch letting the icy cold water freeze his goosebump skin. It feels good. He is too cold, his skin turning purple and he is too numb to feel anything. 

Only, he still does. The sensation is still there and Ben hates it. Ben eventually gets out, tiredness overwhelming him and he slowly dries himself. He catches his reflection in the mirror and stares. 

He looks - dead. He looks purple, a goo-y blue/purple and he somehow looks thinner but he looks the same. It is like Ben has aged 50 years yet reverted back 18years at the same time. 

Ben gets his grey trackies and finds Callum’s oversized black hoodie. He feels safe, closer to Callum without the physical contact. He doesn’t want to be touched and that is more heart breaking than anything. He doesn’t want his beautiful, sincere boyfriend to even lay a finger on his body. 

Ben lays further away from Callum in their bed, wrapping the thick quilt around himself unbothered about the still wet hair on the pillow. 

Callum will hate that. 

“ When did the cheap Ben become faithful? “ the words spin around in Ben’s head again. A broken record repeating and terrorising Ben like a personal bully only it’s his mind. 

Callum shuffles and Ben stills. Callum reaches his arm out and wraps his arm around Ben’s waist and that panic settles again. Charlie’s hands on him again, suffocated, trapped, can’t move - please get off me! 

Ben as gently - with shaking hands - as he could he pushes Callum off him. He doesn’t want to hurt Callum but - that panic is there and he really can’t stand any person touching him. 

He’s wrecked. Broken. It’s all his fault ain’t it? Maybe Ben deserves this, after all the years of annoying people and being nasty and trying to act like the hard man. He is finally getting what he deserves and someone actually showed Ben how much he really is - pathetic. 

-

Ben has always been a deep sleeper, sleeping in late ( till 9am) but since Lexi came into his life has only woken up till 08:30. The bonus of being deaf? He don’t hear anything so he can sleep longer. 

Only this morning. Ben has woken up early, too early, 06:20. He kissed Callum a good morning and left the comfort of the bed into the lukewarm of the living room. The semi cold mug nested in his hands as he stared at nothing. 

What if Callum don’t believe him? What if his boyfriend and the whole square think he is lying because he is always having hookups? What if Callum leaves him because he thinks Ben is cheating and has had enough of him? Phil will find more reason to hate him, Lola will stop Lexi from seeing her daddy because he is scum, jay won’t have the strength to cope with him. 

Ben will be all alone. No one to comfort him, no one to support him - he’ll be alone again. Just a name, no solid family or friends to his name. 

A no one. 

That’s why Ben needs to be kept quiet. He can’t lose Callum, Lexi, Lola, Jay - his life in the square. Even when he bickers with people he at-least has someone there - he isn’t isolated. 

“ Whah! “ Ben gasps, spilling the coffee all over the kitchen table. When Callum slid his hands around Ben’s waist to hug him. Who also looks as startled as Ben does. 

“ Sorry! Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you Ben I just saw ya and I-“ 

Ben breaths deeply, trying calm himself down. Even now he is causing problems for his Callum. Ben reaches out and slides his arms around his waist, nestling his head into his chest. He is trying his hardest not to tense, he doesn’t understand why yesterday has worked him up like this? Is it like a electric wire, being stretched too much, being too frizzled and it just - snaps. All the electric explodes and becomes a mess? Is that what’s happened to Ben’s head? 

“ m’sorry for scaring ya babe. “ Callum murmurs into Ben’s hair, rubbing his boyfriends back. 

“ It’s fine. “ the words come out muffled. 

“ You not hungover? “ 

“ no. I didn’t want to get drunk. “ just say it. Just say it. Just say it. Ben’s brain screams but he can’t, he can’t face the rejection, the loneliness. 

“ I’m surprised really. “ Callum fondly says, pulling away to look properly at his boyfriend. Who looks up at him with such sadness and vulnerability but with so much love and pleading too. “ I thought you’d be sleeping the day away! “ 

Ben clears his throat. He feels indifferent. “ nah, didn’t feel like it. “ 

“ so come on, tell me! “ 

“ tell you what? “ 

Callum frowns slightly at him, confused by Ben’s lack of awareness. “ Last night? Was it shit or good? You was there last night weren’t cha? “ he fires question after question only in his usual dorky manner. “ You wasn’t off with another bloke. “ he jokes and fucking god that hurts Ben. Did he cheat? He let that bloke touch him, even when he tried pushing him away, he let another man touch him in the most private place. Ben feels the guilt trickling him and he can just see Callum’s face, full of betrayal and everyone else’s faces full of disappointment too. 

Callum’s eyebrows frown even further, he digs his fingers int Ben’s biceps to bring him back to the present. Ben blinks a few times with a slight nod to the head bringing himself back to the present. 

“ Yous okay? “ 

No. “ yeh fine. “ 

“ you can tell me anything Yeh? You know I was only joking. I know you love me. “ Callum assures him, whilst assuring himself too - hopes he isn’t being pushy or anything. 

“ Of course I love ya. I’d never do anything like that. Ever. “ it feels dirty, especially when last night is in he front of his mind. “ think I just got a foggy brain that’s all. “ 

“ Hmm. You want some paracetamol? “

“ m’im be fine. “ Ben slightly slurs. “ I’m just gunna ‘ave a shower and head into ‘ork. “ 

“ you sure? “ Callum questions, cupping Ben’s stubbly jaw. “ You look ill. “ 

“ Must’ve caught a cold or something. “ 

“ I’ll get you some soups and stuff for ya. if you want? “ 

I don’t deserve you. “ That’ll be really good. “ Ben whispered, kissing the off side of Callum’s mouth before turning away go to into the bathroom. He completely misses the concerned look on Callum’s face. 

-

Jay walks into The Maximum Motors lot and frowns at his brother who is starring blankly into thin air. He clicks his fingers in front of his brothers face who jumps with a fright with a slight gasp. 

“ Yours on something brov? “ jay half jokes, tucking his hands into his work suit pockets. 

Ben shifts, head down looking at the papers whilst glancing at jay for a nanosecond. “ No. “ 

“ I don’t believe ya Ben. “ Jay states. “ What happened last night? “ 

Ben’s chest tightens. ‘ i don’t get why you’re acting so - touchy? ‘ the flashback appears again and it feels like Charlie is right next to him again, feeling him, touching - hot, sickening breathe on him. 

“ nowt happened. “ he says eventually, but his weak voice says otherwise. 

“ Did you cheat on Callum or something? “ 

“ what? “ 

“ because you just so - guilty? I dunno how to explain it. Yous acting dead weird and even Cal has noticed. “ 

“ I haven’t - I haven’t cheated! “ Ben cried out, why does everyone think the worse of him? He has been the happiest man on earth, finally accepted himself fully and then - then last night had to happen -

“ then tell me what’s wrong Ben. “ jay softens, sitting down opposite him. “ You can tell me anything. You are my brother yeh? But Callum is my employee and mate, I want to help you both. “ 

“ I would never cheat on Callum. “ Ben argues, why can’t he see that? 

“ Maybe not but you have cheated, you do have hookups and maybe the bloke didn’t mean -“ 

Ben flings up ignoring the chair falling backwards into the wall. He leans close to jay in a death cold stare. 

“ I would never cheat on Callum. I l‘ove him. “ 

“ Ben I’m sor-“ 

Ben storms past him livid. He needs a drink. 

-

Callum has been waiting patiently for Ben to talk to him. It’s been 3 weeks since Ben went out with his mates and since them he has been distant, drinking loads and - cold. 

Callum has made hints and attempts for Ben to open up but nothing’s working, especially when Lola and Jay have told Callum - in not so many words - that maybe Ben had a drunken fling and is regretful. It doesn’t help the matter when Ben can’t even touch Callum. 

Highway has never been sex mad, it’s not that important in a relationship, in his opinion, but 3 weeks without sex? A bit of a problem, he misses the intimacy between them, the closeness, the build up pressure of love and life. And it is more of a problem when Ben Mitchell don’t want any sex. Callum knows Ben loves sex, hell he’ll even do a blow job in Martins stall of vegetables ( mainly because Ben loathes Martin - “ anyone want any cummy carrots? “ Callum knows Ben would definitely say that ) and not care. So when Ben don’t want any sex at all, Callum is even more concerned. 

Or is it him? Is he the problem? Because he is inexperienced maybe? 

Callum is sitting at the settee waiting for Ben to come home. He knows he is meant to be dropping Lexi off with Lola and he’ll come here for tea and then sort out Lexi’s room for her to come tomorrow. 

The door opens and suddenly Callum feels nervous. “ Alright? “ he calls out, standing up to greet his boyfriend who stumbles in slightly with a gruff. 

“ Yeh. “ Ben grumbles, taking a large swing of his whiskey. 

“ we need to talk. “ 

“ ugh. No - not today Cal. “ 

“ They were right weren’t they? “ Callum says quietly, somewhat believing it. 

Ben slowly looks at him shocked by his boyfriends sudden vulnerability. He’s done this, again, he can’t do anything right can he? It would’ve been better if he died and not Paul. 

“ who’s they? “ 

“ You ‘ave cheated haven’t ya? “ 

Ben lets his face fall, only, that slight loose of expression makes Callum angry. “ Get your stuff and get out. “ 

“ No Cal let me explain -“ Ben quickly covers. He can’t loose Callum, he can’t, he means half of the world to him as Lexi means to him. 

“ No you cheated on me Ben! “ Callum shouts, livid, broken, betrayed. He storms past Ben knocking his shoulder and the Mitchell lad stumbles slightly with a wince of reminder. 

Ben follows Callum into their bedroom packing all Ben’s shit up frantically. “ Callum please - please don’t believe them -“ Ben starts to softly cry. He grabs the half full bag of clothes and starts to take them out, like a little boy in a frantic state. 

“ you have been drinking for weeks Ben! You ain’t had sex with me, you’ve been withdrawn - it’s either you don’t want me or you cheated on me! “ 

“ I never! I swear! “ Ben pulls Callum back with enough strength for the both of them to stare at each other. 

“ so it’s me then? “ All the fight leaves Callum’s body. 

“ No it ain’t. “ Ben breaks again, cupping Callum’s jaw. He gets them both to sit down on the double bed unable to meet Callum’s gaze. “ something happened in the nightclub. “ 

“ like what? “ Callum still has his defences up but now level headed. 

“ A - a old hookup saw me. “ Ben takes a shaky breath. “ - he wouldn’t - he thought I was up for - for a fling. “ explains Ben uncomfortably. Callum still looks slightly confused but he just knows - deep down something worse happened. 

“ he didn’t - he didn’t do anything did he? “ Callum questions scared, dread. 

“ He touched me. “ 

“ ...where? “ 

“ in my pants. He did it tw-twice. “ 

“ Ben I’m so sorry -“ 

“ No don’t it ain’t your fault okay? “ 

“ But you managed to get away yeh? “ 

Ben nods his head slowly, blinking back the tears but two droplets fall onto their locked hands. “ Eventually. “ 

“ Why didn’t you not tell me? “ Callum tells him quietly, confused and full of sorrow. 

“ Because I’m cheap aren’t I? “ Like it’s obvious. “ i thought no one would believe me, because I used to always do hookups and i just - I thought people would think I was being stupid and probably deserved it. “ 

“ You are stupid aren’t you? “ Callum says slowly, no heat or venom in his words. He cups Ben’s scruffy jaw and brings his head up to look at him through misty eyes. “ of course I’ll believe ya. Jay and Lola too - everyone would believe ya Ben.” 

“ Maybe not everyone cal. They only put up with me because I’m with you. “ 

Callum licks his bottom lip and slightly shrugs. “ Even so, your family will believe you Ben. I definitely would, I would know 100% you wasn’t lying. I know you. “ 

“ I’m so sorry Callum. “ Like a dam Ben breaks, sobbing into Callum’s chest. The long rub of Ben’s back is a comfort and for once the touch of contact doesn’t immediately disgust Ben anymore. He feels - weirdly okay, but the slight panic still settles. 

“ you ain’t got nowt to apologise for babe. I believe you, I’m sorry for shouting earlier. “ 

“ It’s fine. “ 

“ no it ain’t -“

Ben pulls back and watery smiles at his boyfriend squeezing their locked hands again. “ You have nothing to apologise for because you didn’t know what happened. “ 

“ You must’ve been so alone. “   
Callum comments upset. 

“ I still had you and lex - even when - even when I was at my lowest. “ 

Callum tucks his boyfriend back into his embrace and hugs him needing to protect him. “ I love you Ben. You are it for me okay? I don’t want you keeping anything else from me. “ 

“ I promise. “ Ben’s words are muffled, tucking himself further into his boyfriend needing the safety blanket. 

“ You ain’t -“ 

“ I’m being honest. I was - I was scared ya know? I was just - in a whirlwind of emotions and insecurities but - I am - I’m okay. “ 

Callum pressed a kiss to his head. “ Whatever you need I’m here okay? Don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially from me. “ 

“ you’re all I need right now. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make clear, what Ben feels is souly on how he feels and ain’t referred to how I feel about him. If that makes sense.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #33 - Callum talking to Ben about not having a proper childhood ( like liking boys etc ) 
> 
> Tw - Child abuse ( Emotional/neglect/Physical )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo what i’ve written is kinda between the lines of this prompt. It does mention Cal’s sexuality crisis and him and boys. But it’s more about callums ( and I had to mention Stuart becos he is related to Cal ) child abuse. 
> 
> I’ve also added Ben’s abuse too, but not graphic at all, literally mentions about Stella. 
> 
> I’m not going to write the Ballum Halloween prompt becos it’s past Halloween now. well, tell a lie, I did write it/post it, then delete it because it barley got any recognition. Not to sound vein but it was slightly off putting and mine was the lowest of the low. So if people want me to post it here instead? I’ll be happy to share :)

Ben shifted in the bed. The warm comfort of his boyfriend sleeping soulfully in an angelic way. Ben presses his lips against Callum’s cheek gently before snuggling back into the warm covers to try to get back to sleep. However, Callum started to whimper and slur words which weren’t audible. 

“ nn’oo. Please..not again... dad..don’t hurt...no...” 

It broke Ben’s heart. He rested his hand on Cal’s shoulder and shook him without any sudden force. To coax him out of his nightmare yet it didn’t work and by the second Callum was getting worse. 

“ Dad no it hurts. Please... please don’t hurt me...I’m scared...” Callum started to shake more furiously now, coming in a cold sweat with tears slipping from the corner of his eyes. 

Ben quickly got a warm, wet flannel and brought it back to Callum’s face and naked front. He knew from experience when himself had nightmares ( about Paul, Stella, Callum getting hurt/Lexi, Phil - ) having a flannel put to his skin kinda helps. So he hopes it is helping Callum too. 

“ DAD NOOOO! “ Callum bolted up with a gasp, heart hammering, legs losing function. Ben’s own heart hammering from the utter shock, unexpected. 

“ baby it’s okay, it just a nightmare. “ Soothed Ben, running his fingers through Callum’s sweaty hair taking it away from his forehead in the process. 

Callum still breathing heavily, eyes unfocused and unaware of his surroundings. “ Dad-Dad- please-“ He panted, begged. 

“ He ain’t ‘ere. It’s just you and me baby. “ 

Callum slowly brought his head up to look at the man and found indeed its Ben. Callum broke out into an relieved expression, still panting but he don’t look so scared no more. 

“ Ben. “ 

Ben smiled, showing no teeth. “Yeh it’s me babe. You okay? “ 

“ It was - it was nothing. “ Callum lied, voice becoming normal again and his breathing in the correct rhythm again. 

“ You had a nightmare and a panic attack Cal. “ Ben pointed out bluntly. “ You ain’t okay. “ 

Callum groaned slightly. “ it’s just me - me dad that’all. “ 

Ben tilted his head to the left side still stroking Callum’s arm to guard him. “ You know you’ll have to talk about ‘him eventually. “ 

“ I don’t - I don’t know where to start. “ he said helplessly. 

“ I was the same remember? But you helped me talk ‘bout Phil and Stella. “ 

Callum adverted his gaze to the bed sheets and traced random shapes on Ben’s thigh. “ Can I - can I have some water first? “ 

“ sure babe. “ Ben agreed. “ I’ll be straight back Yeh? “ Callum nodded still not looking at Ben but who pecked his head anyway. 

Callum takes a large gulp full of his water when Ben returned. It was comforting, a cold icy liquid running down his throat. To have his lover next to him touching him, to have his gaze on him observing his every move. Which was a bit off putting but Callum knows Ben is only deeply concerned ‘bout him and is only protective of him. 

“ Dad was abusive to me and Stu, but mainly to me. “ Cal started off, his voice low, a unexplained emotion in his voice now. Ben can’t tell what name it is. 

“ What did he use to do? “ Ben treaded carefully. He wasn’t touching Callum now, knowing it can cause an accidental trigger. Like when Cal rested his hand on Ben’s thigh one nightmare night and Ben jumped with a flinch remembering Stella hitting him. Callum was so painfully apologetic it hurt Ben more, knowing how sorry he was. 

Callum huffed, or well, breathed out deeply. “ What if you get triggered? “ 

“ Don’t mean you can’t tell me ‘bout your abuse too Cal. I’ve coped with my shit but I could always get triggered by my abuse anyway. “ 

“ It’s - errr - he would h-hit me.” 

Ben nodded, eyebrows knitting together slightly. “ All the time?” 

A shake of the head. “ no. When I’m - no when he was angry. Which was often. But he would kick me, push me, punch me, throw me ‘round the ‘oom, throw furniture at me or knock me unconscious. “ 

“ Would he cause bruising? “ 

“ all the time. “ Callum informed.” Sometimes I couldn’t even walk or move. “ 

“ didn’t your school or teachers notice? “ 

Callum shook his head. “ I always had to - to put make up on. To cover it. “ 

Ben bit back the smirk. He was never good at fragile moments really, always had to make a joke or laugh or something but - this is Callum. He can’t laugh at him, because he loves him, he’ll stay up all night to listen to Callum. 

“ And your dad never found out?” 

“ no. Thankfully. “ 

“ Didn’t Stuart help ya? “ 

“ He took the beatings for me. But because I never or couldn’t fight back - I was the weaker link. Dad hurt me more, tormented me more. “ 

“ cal I’m so sorry. “ 

Callum shrugged, a sad smile on his face. “ its okay. The physical abuse was more welcoming after a while. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ because it was better to cope with things. I found it - comforting, but the emotional and the neglect was as bad too.” 

“ did he never feed you or Stuart? “ 

Callum slumped back, taking Ben with him and cuddled him. They linked their hands together and draped the quilt over them both again. 

“ when he wanted too. Which was hardly ever. Stuart got a job, after and before school. That gave us some food but - not a lot. “ 

“ didn’t your dad work? “ 

“ he was on benefits. “ Callum replied. “ and that went on booze, gambling and the tv. “ 

“ fucking hell. “ Breathed out. 

“ we were so cold. “ Callum huffed out a chuckle. “ Maybe that’s why we were the skinniest in school. “ 

“ And yet? No one noticed? “ 

Callum shrugged. “ A few teachers asked questions, but we always said we couldn’t put weight on. “ 

“ why didn’t you just tell them the truth? “ Ben asked another question curious, hoping he isn’t being judgmental. 

“ Because Dad was all we had. Mum fucked off, had no other family and he was all we had. When he weren’t drinking or gambling he was okay. “ 

Ben rubbed Callum’s stomach up to his chest and back down again. “ Stuart was all you had?” 

“ Basically. “ Callum sighed. “ We hardly had any mates. Dad wouldn’t let us out of the ‘ouse. He controlled us both but - its ‘eird ‘cos he let Stu out to get a job. “ 

“ You think he had favouritism then? “ 

“ I don’t want to say yeh but - a tiny bit more. dad always hurt me that tiny bit more, always humiliated me, always abused me more. “ 

Ben didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say really. Instead, he pressed a kiss to Callum’s skin and wrapped his arms around Callum’s waist more. 

“ Did he ever leave any scars? “ Ben knows there are some on Callum’s body but he didn’t know if it was from the army or his lunatic dad. 

Callum played with Ben’s hair as he spoke. “ Some. They’re barely noticeable now. “ 

“ I’ve got more reason to hate him now. “ 

“ He ain’t worth your hate Ben. Me and Stu learned to move on but - it gets to us sometimes. “ 

“ Wait what happened to him when you went to the army? “ 

“ He carried on with the job but full time. Barely at dads and he got himself a flat. “ 

“ how long were you in the army for? “ 

“ 4/5 years. “ 

“ and was that better or worse?” 

“ In-between. I got picked on, carried on carrying with my sexuality, had few crushes. Then after that I went back to Stu’s and lived at his for a while.”

Ben shifted up and straddled his soulmates waist and kissed him on the lips. “ I’m proud of ya, even more now. “ 

Cal blushed. “ nowt to be proud of. “ 

“ You escaped ya abusive dad. I can’t believe I’m sayin’ this but - I’m glad your bald headed freak of a brother was there to protect ya. “ 

“ He does have a weird way of lovin’ people. “ 

“ hmm’ Glad you didn’t turn out like ‘im or ya dad. “ 

“ Sometimes I worry I’m like him.” 

“ And I’m innocent. “ Ben scoffed. “ You’re nowt like them. Okay? You’re sweet, innocent and naive. That’s why I fell in love with ya. “ 

A small smile spreads on Callum’s face. “ You’re nice too Ben. You should give yourself more credit. “ 

“ oh yeh that reminds me. I need to sort out some more deals tomorrow. “ Ben mainly said to himself. Callum give him a look ‘really? ‘ “ Im trying to baby. You and lex make me want to be a better man. “ 

Callum leaned forward and pecked Ben’s lips, then started slowly kissing messily. “ I love you. “ 

“ I love you too. “ 

“ I want to go to sleep now. “ He whispered. 

Ben pressed one last kiss to Callum’s lips and both snuggled back down into the bed. They cuddled and Ben rested his head on Callum’s pillow. 

“ You know Whatever you want to talk about - I’m ‘ere you know? “ Ben whispered. 

“ I know. “


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #34 - completely AU that it is actually laughable 
> 
> Callum becomes a billionaire because one of his relatives died.

“ OH MY GOOOODDD!! “ Callum screamed in joy and utter disbelief. He rocked Ben awake who was snoring softly. Who also grumbled in his slumber. 

“ M’what? “ 

“ I’m a billionaire! “ Callum screeched. 

“ Ya what? “ Ben is more alert now. 

“ Ben! “ Callum rocked him awake again. 

“ if you rock me one more fucking time -“ Ben threatened. 

“ I am a billionaire! “ Callum repeats. 

Ben sat up and rubbed his eyes then putting his glasses on. “ Why you a billionaire? “ 

“ my great granddad - who I didn’t have a clue existed- died and he’s given me all his money!” 

Ben’s eyebrows shot up. “ Fucking hell. “ 

“ apparently he didn’t want anything to do with Jonno and he always thought I was better one out of Stu and dad. “ 

“ Well aren’t cha a lucky bastard? “ Ben joked. 

Callum grinned x1000 more than he already was. “ I know! “ 

And looks like by the way he completely dismissed the way his own brother hasn’t got a penny. Means he is too happy and fucking amazed to use his gentle heart thoughtfully. 

Callum gasps, eyes side and kneels on the bed. He genuinely looks like a little kid. “ I can move away! I can get a nice ‘ouse in London, never work again- “ and as he gambled on about his dreams Ben felt his heart crunch with fear. Callum moving away from Walford, leaving him, for a better life. 

Leaving Ben in gritty old Walford. Too common and criminal for Callum now. Callum will find a better man than him now, he’ll get a better life, someone worthy. Who ain’t Ben. 

And what really surprised Ben with Callum’s continuity. “ You and lex can move in with me? You and lex and me over lookin’ London! “ 

“ really? “ Ben let out, genuinely shocked. 

Cal frowned at him confused. “ yeh? We are together aren’t we?” A little hesitation in his voice. 

“ Y-Yeh of course we are babe but I just thought- with you bein’ rich. You’ll fuck off and find ya’self a better bloke. That all. “ 

“ Oohh Ben. “ Callum whispered, sad. He shuffled closer to Ben and kissed him repeatedly on the lips and slid his hands around his boyfriend waist. “ You muppet. I love ya. I love lex too, I’ll never ‘eave ya both becos I’m rich. “ 

“ promise? “ Ben fiddled with Cal’s fingers feeling insecure. 

“ I promise baby. I’ll rather have no money than lose you both. “ 

Ben huffed with a small smile. “ I love you and I wouldn’t let cha leave us anyway. “ 

“ haha. I wouldn’t leave you because i know you’ll hunt me down and drag me back ‘ere. “ Highway joked. 

“Damm you right! Ain’t no man takin’ you from me. “ 

“ I wouldn’t dream of it Mr Mitchell. “ Callum whispered against Ben’s lips. 

“ hmm Mr Mitchell now is it? “ 

“ Shut up. “ Without any heat behind his words and he kissed Ben sound fully till Ben broke the kiss with a smirk. 

“ always wanted to date a billionaire. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeh, I know what you are thinking. What the fuck? this can’t be actual possible because it don’t make no sense? 
> 
> Well I’ve got news for you - it’s fiction and I couldn’t get this little snippet of stupidity out of my head. 
> 
> So thank you for reading and i hope u have at least enjoyed it!!


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #35 - ( prompt ) Callum and Ben go to pride since Cal is out 
> 
> Includes Lexi, fluff and cuteness and more!

Ben clapped his hands together to wake Callum up. Ben straddled Callum’s waist ( when he pushed him onto his back ) and massaged Callum’s shoulders. 

“ M’what yuw doin’? “ Callum sleepily asked. 

Ben tilted his head to the left side slightly, eyes shining with full of mischief. That is so Ben Mitchell. “ Well honey I’m waking ya up. “ 

“ Yeh why? “ Callum yawned, slightly loudly before rolling his head back into the pillow to catch sleep. 

Only - 

Ben started to kiss Callum’s face and it felt too good and - big Callum was now awake sooo-. “ It’s the 5th of June today. “ 

“ you don’t say. “ Callum sarcastically comments. 

“ It’s pride. “ 

“ M’yeh. “ another yawn. 

Ben gets the feeling he ain’t listening to him. Maybe because Callum isn’t a morning person now. Ben wrecked that for him. Callum used to always wake up around half 6 in the morning, get dressed ( or stay in pjs temporary ), have breakfast and then get set for work. Since him and Ben become official ( 7 months ago ) Ben kept Callum in bed, kept him sleeping and slowly ( and deadly ) made Callum become a not So morning person no more. 

“ Babe you want breakfast first? Or an extra waking up? “ Ben wiggled his eyebrows, a lustful glint in his eye and he started rubbing down to Callum’s crotch, dangerously close to the boner. 

Callum smirked, he kissed Ben on the lips, then tongue, then messily wet and pulled back.   
“ You’re doing the work then babe. “ 

Ben pouts. “ lazy baby. “ 

“ Says you, hypocrite. “ 

“ It was one time! “ 

“ Yeh Ben one time too many! “ 

“ Fine. “ Ben huffs, without any real heat in his words. He kissed his beautiful boyfriend again and slid down his long, lanky body. 

-

Callum got the too flipping boiling hot bowl out of the microwave. Ben chuckled at his boyfriend flapping his hands about from the devil touch. 

“ Yeh Cal, you meant to wear gloves or somethin’? “ 

Callum turned to him, face full of sarcasm. “ You don’t say Ben? “ 

“ ... yeh Cal. Hence why I said it...” 

Callum turned back to his fruits and oats and muttered ‘cheeky bastard. ‘ Ben smirked widened and back hugged him, plonking a purple grape in his mouth. 

“ I’ll never know how you find this nice babe. “ 

“ It’s called healthy. “ Callum jabbed Ben’s stomach in a teasing way. 

“ Oi! “ Ben nuzzled his face in Callum’s shoulder, letting his hands wonder against the front of Callum’s front. “ You said you’ve always liked my bit of a dad bod! “ 

“ I do baby. “ Callum softly replied, turning in Ben’s embrace and kissed him. 

“ Love you. “ Ben replied instead of a Ben Mitchell comment. 

“ You too. “ Callum pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips again before getting a fat, juicy grape and pressing it against Ben’s lips. Basically feeding him before going back to his lukewarm oats/porridge again. 

“ Prides today. “ 

“ oh yeh? “ 

And that’s when it kinda hit Ben. Callum didn’t tense, there wasn’t a delay in his reply, no hesitation. He was - fine, okay - normal even. Ben didn’t know what he was expecting, maybe the Callum from 11months ago to appear. That he still felt fear about being gay and out and proud. 

“ Hmm. Thinking we should go?” 

“ In London is it? Or somewhere tiny bit out? “ 

“ In-between. “ 

“ Yeh fine. “ Callum agreed with a spoonful of porridge and fruits entering his mouth. 

“ you 100% okay going? “ Ben asked, slightly worried. He didn’t knowledge that he was still running his hands up and down Callum’s sides. 

Callum choked out a cute laugh. “ yes Ben. I know I used to be a baby gay -“ Ben smiled, a slight chuckle remembering that day in The Vic. “- but I’m proud. I’m proud of yuw, I’m proud of me, I’m proud I’m in a m/m relationship. That I can show I love cock and nowt else. “ 

“ that’s the spirit babe. “ Ben loved the way Callum expressed his reply. It made Ben feel proud too, proud of his once closeted, scared baby gay. 

“ seriously though, I am proud of you. “ Ben sounded serious. 

“ I know you are. “ Callum nodded, blushing slightly. “ I always see the pride in yuw face when you look at me. “ 

“ It’s because I am Cal. So incredibly proud of my baby gay, now you are a cute gay. “ 

Callum laughed into his spoon.   
“ Oh my days. “ 

Ben played dumb. “ whaat? “ 

“ Nothing. Nothing. It’s just - love yuw so much. “ Callum spoke through a half full mouth. 

“ You and me both. “ Ben kissed him on the corner of his cute gays mouth. He took Cal’s spoon off him and took a spoonful of his breakfast and tried some. 

“ thats Alright to be fair. “ 

“ told yuw. I’m always right I am.” 

“ yeh alright cocky. “ 

“ well I know something cocky I want wrap my mouth about. “ 

“ I’ve actually created a monster. I’ve genuinely ruined your innocence. “ 

-

“ You okay baby? “ Ben murmured to his daughter, whilst all 3 of them walked hands in hands along to the train station. 

“ yes dad! I can’t wait to go to pride! “ Lexi enthusiastically told her dad. 

“ it’s gunna be filled with glitter and rainbows innit sweetheart?” Callum added, running his free hand through the girls blonde hair. 

Ben and Callum chuckled at the 7 year olds eyes light up like a flame. “ Glitter!? “ she jumped. 

“ Oh no. “ Ben teased, knowing what’s going to happen. “ You ain’t gunna get covered in glitter again princess. “ 

“ But daaad. “ Lexi froze on the vowel for a short time, sounding disappointed. 

“ Lex, yuw already got glitter on yuw Yeh? Also, when yuw had glitter Ben was covered in it. “ Callum started laughing at the Ben to the end part of the memory. 

Ben shot his boyfriend a disapproving stare. “ That took months to get rid of it. “ 

“ but you was a sparkly rainbow! “ Lexi prompted with a whine. 

“ well I weren’t so sparkly when I couldn’t get it off me. “ 

Callum snorted. Lexi smirked, which was terrifying like Ben.   
“ Dad you was like a unicorn! You looked beut-if-ul!! “ 

“ Princess, I’m always beautiful. I don’t need no glitter to highlight that. “ Ben smugly stated. 

Callum carried on looking ahead as he said his peace. “ says the man who’s currently wearing glitter and does ‘beautiful’ in the mirror with products, when it’s meant to come naturally? Sure Ben. “ 

Lexi laughed out loud. Whilst Ben shot him a death glare. He’s gonna pay for that. 

-

Lexi gasped dramatically. “ Look at all the colourful rainbows! “ 

“ And the hearts and drag queens! “ Callum added, amazed. This is his first time going to pride and he’s got to admit, it is a bit overwhelming but so overwhelming in a good way too. 

Ben came back from the bar and gave Callum a larger and Lexi her orange juice. Ben sipped from his plastic beer cup and looked around the heaving streets. 

“ so what do we do dad? “ Lexi asked him, looking up as he shrugged without any negativity. 

“ We ‘ave fun princess. “ 

“ Lets sing our ‘earts out. “ Callum grinned. 

“ that’s the spirit babe. “ Ben pecked him on the cheek. When Lexi and Callum were about to walk away Ben gripped hold of Cal’s hand and looked him dead in the eye. “ You okay? This ain’t too much? “ he worried. 

Callum gave him a truthful smile. “ I am more than fine. Yeh it’s bit overwhelming but - I already feel like I fit in. “ 

Ben looked like he was about to cry. “ I’m proud of ya, I really am, that you’ve found somewhere you belong in. “ 

Callum wetly chuckled not wanting to get emotional. “ Come on then! “ 

Ben locked their hands together as they walked through the jam packed crowds of people. The big LGBT+ flags, the rainbows, love hearts, posters - all different kinds of sexualities and genders. This is where they belong, this is why Ben loves pride. Whatever you are, wherever you are - pride is always there for you. 

-

The three amigos collapsed onto the sofa at the Beale’s house. They have finally got back home after a very productive day, their ears ringing from the booming music, their heads fuzzy from the excitement and dancing and singing and drinking ( for Callum and Ben ). 

Now they sat slump on the sofa unable to move. Lexi tucked in the middle of her two daddies, who has fallen asleep. The glitter on her face even messier and love hearts still in place. 

“ It was amazing wasn’t it? “ Callum murmured, eyes closed exhausted. 

“ Hmm. It was somehow even livelier than last year. “ Ben explained. He tucked the rainbow rose from under him and chucked it onto the coffee table. 

“ I want to go back. “ 

“ Well there’s always more pride Cal. “ 

Callum hummed in response getting the photo booth images of them three ( with couple of pictures with drag queens too ) and gazed at them. 

“ We look ‘appy ‘ere don’t we? “ 

“ Like life ain’t got nowt on us. “ Ben said softly, relaxed., feeling the best he has ever felt. 

“ I think we could enlarge ‘em and photo frame them? “ 

“ That’ll be perfect. “ Ben agreed, pecking his boyfriend on the lips then cheek before groaning loudly and pulling himself up from the sofa. “ Come on. Think we need a early night. “ he rhetorically said, picking up his daughter and carrying her to her room. With Callum following. 

With Lexi all warm and asleep in her own bed. Ben gets himself unchanged and gets into bed with Callum, they cuddle. The usual position, Callum on his left side with Ben’s legs in the V of his boyfriends legs and arms and hands locked. 

“ You had a good time then? “ Ben asked him in the darkness of the bedroom, like a protective blanket. 

“ The best. “ Callum murmured against the shared pillow. 

“ Don’t think I’ve seen you so ridiculously happy. “ 

Callum chuckled. “ today was - perfect, for many reasons and today - I really let me ‘air down.” 

“ Proud of you, don’t think I’ll ever not be proud of you. “ 

Callum sleepily hummed. He slowly kissed Ben again before dropping his head further into the pillow, leaning his forehead against Ben’s. 

Belonging somewhere is the most luscious feeling in the entire universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never been to pride ( :(( always want to go tho ) so I don’t know what u do there? Think there is music but I haven’t added much from pride in this fic. So sorry ‘bout that! Also I wrote this on the coach and I don’t want to fiddle with it because I’m kinda happy with the outcome. 
> 
> Hope it was enjoyable to read!


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #36 - Calum’s dog hasn’t taken a liking to Ben, but Ben somehow makes Alfie like him now.

Callum strokes his golden retriever’s head whilst watching one of his box sets. The pizza box, Pepperoni, sits on his lap whilst his cup of tea is on the coffee table. Callum’s got to admit, he loves this, just him and his dog whilst munching his way through pizza and unhealthy shit whilst watching his boxsets. 

He loves doing this with Ben too, only, Alfie ( the dog ) doesn’t like Ben and Callum doesn’t want to get rid of Alfie. So, they had to change plans sometimes. Which was a shame but Ben was supposed to come home 20 minutes ago and there ain’t no sign of him. 

Callum 19:43 - Where are u? 

And nearly immediately later the reply comes back.  
Callum pats away Alfie’s breathe on the half eaten pizza. 

Ben 19:44 - Gettin food x 

Callum 19:44 - already got some? 

Ben 19:45 - both of us know that pizza has 3 slices left....

Callum sends his boyfriend an emoji and sighs. Alfie sits up ( making sure to sit up whilst pressing his whole bod against Callum’s left side ) and licks Callum’s neck and face. 

“ Alfie.” Laughs Cal, stroking his dog whilst he licks away. He grabs Alfie’s face ( without any pressure ) and looks him dead in the eye but can’t help the smirk as Alfie licks his hands. 

“ Yew gunna be good yeh? Don’t be a prick to Ben. “ Alfie barks. Callum winces from the ringing in his ears. “ I know yew don’t like him but I do so please- just don’t be a tosser Yeh? “ 

Bark. Bark. 

“ For fucks - “ 

“ Honey I’m ho-me!! “ Ben sings along closing the front door and walking into the living room with a bag of food and a large dominos box of pizza in his other free hand. Callum grins at him, his eyes lightening up. He stands up and pecks his boyfriend’s cheek then lips and gets the bag of food. 

“ what yew got? “ 

“ well you have to look Cal. “ Ben bluntly states, smirking. He stands behind him, pushing his crotch into Highways bum. 

“ I want us to binge watch telly and eat our bodyweight in food and alcohol. “ 

“ Hmm love our binge sessions.” Callum turns in his embrace and slaps his arms around Ben’s waist kissing his neck. 

“ Looks like you’ve already started without me. “ Ben half moans, voice turning dark with lust. He rubs Callum’s stomach whilst stretching his head back making more room for Callum to suck his neck. 

“ You taste so good babe. “ Callum nips the red skin between his teeth. 

“ Fuckin’ hell Cal - if you carry on talking like that -“ Ben’s sentence is cut off by a humongous moan. Callum sucked hard and wet against Ben’s neck, the blood coming to the surface. Callum gripped his boyfriends hips and pushed his massive turn on into Ben’s full on too. 

Callum finally pulls away, stops being a leech and smirks at Mitchell looking spaced out. Ben is breathless and half sweating and wow - Callum is a little minx. 

“ That’s just a introduction into what I’m gunna so to yew after.” 

Ben makes a wild noise in his throat and his banana shaped harden twitches. “ Callum! “ Ben moans, feels Callum’s hand on him ( yet they’re not ), his brain currently in his cock and all he he wants his Callum’s hands on his skin, cock to cock, skin to skin, mouth to mouth - you get the jist. 

“ P-pleeasee babe -“ Whines Ben, clutching the grey t-shirt and sliding his hands down into Cal’s jeans. 

“ You have to earn it. “ 

“ Nooooo -“ 

Callum giggled at his whining boyfriend. Till, Alfie came along and jumped up to hug Callum licking him. 

“ We’ve got all night babe. “ Callum told him, reminding him that they’re adults and don’t have to go to bed at 9pm. 

“ But I need you now -“ Ben sucked on Callum’s neck, before pressing deep wet kisses along the collarbone and up to the jaw. 

“ Mmm I want you too baby but just wait - we don’t always have to rush into sex. “ 

Ben huffs, defeating and reluctantly accepting Callum’s decision, not pushing him into sex if he doesn’t want it right now. 

“ Fine but you owe me Highway.” Ben weakly jabs at Callum’s chest kissing him on the lips again. 

“ I’ll be the best Highway in yew life. “ 

“ Pfft. Stop with the puns. “ 

“ I actually fancy a hot cross pun. “ 

“ Muppet. “ 

“ I’m 1 episode in prison break. “ 

“ Cal! “ 

“ Well yew should’ve been faster! “ 

“ But -“ 

“ and it -“ 

“ No spoilers! “ 

“ fine. “ 

“ findy dandy. “ 

Alfie moved and sniffed Ben before nibbling on him. “ Your dog hates me that much he wants to eat me. “ Ben deadpans with fake hurt. Callum laughs and picks the medium sized dog and cuddles him whilst pressing kisses to the dogs head. 

“ Well I love ya and I still want to eat you out. “ 

Ben smiled without showing his teeth and pressed a kiss to Callum’s head before sensitively stroking the top of Alfie’s head. The dog looked at him like to say ‘ you carry on and I’ll eat your hand ‘ so Ben made a face and walked to the sofa. 

“ Babe I’ll never know how you eat so much yet gain hardly any weight. “ Ben comments in disbelief looking at the now empty pizza box that was already there. The other foods half eaten too. 

Callum joins his boyfriend on the sofa and cuddles into his side with Alfie resting his head on Callum’s upper thigh. 

“ Like - If I ate the same as you I’ll gain 2/4 pounds by tomorrow.” Ben carries on to say, in jealousy? 

“ Well I’m taller aren’t I? So you would barley notice but yew? You’re a shortie. “ As he bites into the pizza slice. 

“ Well you wasn’t saying that last night. “ Ben replied smugly, as well tucking into the pizza. 

Callum gives the crust to Alfie.  
“ Just because Big Ben is large don’t mean you are tall. “ 

“ you really know how to make a man ‘appy ay? “ 

Callum looked at his boyfriend and cheekily grinned pressing a kiss to his lips. “ We gunna watch his then? “ 

Ben sighed. “ You’re 1 ep in. I’ll miss the continuity. “ 

“ Don’t matter. “ he shrugs. 

“ But it does -“ 

“ Fine. We’ll watch the first ep then first. “ Callum puts on the first episode. When the show starts Callum lowers his head to Alfie’s level making sure Ben can hear him. 

“ No wonder yew don’t like him.” 

“ oi! “ Ben swatted Callum’s arm offended. “ I’m a joy to watch telly with! “ 

“ Sure. “ 

“ I am! “ 

“ Of course Ben. “ 

“ Callum! “ 

“ Babe you are a joy to watch telly with. Every time i get the chance to binge watch with yew. I want to scream in excitement.” Callum sarcastically told him, opting for the most serious voice he can do. 

“ Muppet. “ 

“ you love me though. “ 

“ Do I love ya? Yes. Do I like ya? Datable. “ 

Callum tickled Ben’s side. “ Cheeky! “ 

“ Haha - no cal stop -“ Ben wheezed from the astonishing tickling. He can’t breathe. 

“ Say I’m the best boyfriend ever. “ 

Alfie jumped on Ben too licking him to death. Ben is pretty sure he’ll die of suffocation. 

“ Your - your the best boyfriend ever -“ 

Callum stops pleased and pressed a kiss to his forehead as Alfie gives one final lick to Ben’s face and goes back to Callum. 

“ good. “ 

“ Oh my god I can’t breathe-“ 

“ Ohhhh I love this bit! “ Callum screeched at the scene on the telly ignoring Ben gasp for breath. “ shh babe you’re missing it. “ 

Ben got his own revenge afterwards. 

-

When Ben woke up. He was alone. Which was a shame because he wanted lazy sex. He got up nevertheless and stretched making a little groan and putting his airaids in and glasses on. 

He hears Callum talking to Alfie and he stills for a moment just hearing his dorkable boyfriend talking to a animal. Who can speak back. That’s one out of million reasons why he loves Callum, always communicating with the dog and treats him like a human. 

Callum is gold. Ben has found the rarest type of precious gold. 

Ben makes his way to the living room and Alfie and Cal sit on the sofa with Highway feeding Alfie crusts of bread. 

“ You two look so cute like that. “ 

“ I was gunna bring breakfast to ya in bed. “ Callum comments, pressing a kiss to Ben’s lips. “ mornin’.” He whispers against his lips and Ben does the same. 

“. Now you’ll have to make breakfast for me now. “ 

“ Mmm. Pancakes with chocolate and strawberries with raspberries? “

“ perfect. “ 

Callum just looks calm and loved up. “ I’ll make them from scratch then. “ and gets up to get the ingredients and equipment out as Ben Alfie; Alfie follow suit. “ Why don’t u use ready made pancakes? It’s much more easier Cal. “ “ But homemade is always better babe! “ As he gets out the liquids to make the pancake. He gives Alfie a quick stroke as he starts the gas on the cooker. Ben props himself onto the counter and observes his boyfriend cooking. “ I love watching you cook. “ “ Why? “ without any judgement or confusion in his voice. “ because you look dead fit, especially when you bend down - whoah!!! “ “ you’re not too bad ya self babe. “ He flips the pancake over.

“ Well Yeh because I’m the sex god -“ Ben supposes. “ - but you look sexy everyday. You don’t need sex when you have a model of a boyfriend. “ 

Calum fake gasps at the confession whilst putting a second pancake into the boiling pan. “ Did Ben Mitchell just say he don’t need sex? Who are you and what you done with sex addict Ben Mitchell? “ 

“ haha very funny. “ 

“ S’true. “ 

“Hmm. “ Ben jumps off the counter and presses a kiss to Callum’s neck. “ I love you. “ 

“ I love you too and Alfie is a close first. “ 

“ You and that bloody dog. “ 

“ actually-“ Callum cocks his head to the side and smiles mischiefly. 

“ -oh no -“ Ben knows that face. 

“ - you can take Alfie on a walk. “ 

“ ...no Cal ...” 

“ bonding session. “ 

“ i dont want to go out! I’m warm and -“

“ Well I’ll warm ya up when you comeback. “ 

“ We need to practice on your flirtatious skills.” 

“ OKay we work on that and you 2 bond then? “ 

Ben’s huffs, rolls his eyes, does a shift. “Fine. “ 

“ good boy. “ 

Ben just laughs at him beforehand giving him a kiss and reluctantly getting changed. 

-

“ Never again!!!! “ 

“Ohno. “ Callum mutters to himself, hearing his partner practicality scream in furry. 

“ That fucking dog needs to fuck off! “ Ben storms into the living room covered in mud. “ Don't you dare laugh! “ he points his finger in Callum’s direction. 

“ what happened? Wheres Alfie? “ Callum asks two questions at the same time worried. 

“ I’ve left him with mum after she took a solid 5 minutes hysterically laughing at me. “ 

“ How did -“ 

“ Alfie HATES ME! He was runnin’ around and when I tried putting him on the lead he ran off making me slide through the mud!! “ 

Snorts. Laughs. Fucking hell he wished he went. 

“ Is he okay? “ 

“ Yes he’s bloody okay! “ Ben snaps, taking off his jumper and jeans. “ I’m freezing cold, im dirty and hungry and I haven’t even had a blowjob. “ he rants. 

“ Babe stop overreacting-“ “ CAllUM! I’m soaked through with mud! Me mum has to wash that bloody dog and I looked like a right idiot! “ “ But yew already like that? “ Ben stared at him not amused. Callum slightly huffs and tuts walking to his dramatic boyfriend and pressing a kiss to his lips. He brushes away the fringe that is matted to the dirty forehead and sighs softly. “ You still look hot. “ “ You got a mud kink or something? “ “ no. I have a Ben Mitchell kink. “ Ben huffed a laugh. Only Callum Highway ( and Lexi ) would make any situation better. When Ben feels humiliated. “ Love you. Even that bloody dog too. “ “ well we come as a package don’t we? “ Ben dropped a wet kiss to Callum’s face making sure to spread the mud onto Highways face. “ Err! Ben! “ Mmmm. “ Evil laugh. “ Deserve It Highway. “ “ Get in that shower. “ Callum said from the back of his throat harshly pressing lips together and getting a generous hand full of bens arse in his hands whilst pushing the Mitchell lad into his body more. The next water bill will be twice the price for this month

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a turn. I was gonna go into little detail with Ben and Alfie but then - it went off the rails and became cute Ballum 😂😂


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #37 - James and his mates feel like they can talk to Ben and Callum because their family are homophobic? 
> 
> 1/2 prompts 
> 
> Tw - Child abuse briefly mentioned

Ben took a swig of his beer and snuggled back into Callum’s side again. He wrapped his left arm around his husbands waist and rested his head on his chest as they watched the television. 

“ See? I don’t get that at all. “ 

“ what don’t you get babe? “ Ben replied, his eyes not missing the drama unfolding on the telly. 

“ why would you tell someone yew loved ‘em but then shag someone else afterwards?” 

( Not at all thinking he did the same to Whitney years ago....) 

“ Because they’re cheaters aren’t they? And are scum. “ 

“ Yew but -“ 

Knock knock. “ someone’s at the door. “ Groaned Ben, pushing his head further into Cal’s chest. 

“ go get it then lazy. “ 

“ Don’t wanna. I’m comfy. “ 

And the person carried on knocking on their door. “ God they’re persistent aren’t they? “ he grumbled and pulled himself off the sofa to tell whoever to fuck off. 

“ Yeh? “ Callum announced when he opened the front door to the boy standing on the doorstep nervously. 

“ H-hi is - er- James in? “ 

Callum frowned. “ Yeh. Who are yew? “ 

“ who is it Cal!? “ Ben called from the living room. 

“ someone asking for James. “ Called back Callum and turning his attention back to the lad. “ You one of James’s mates?“ 

The boy shifted anxiously. “ Y-Yeh. “ he then shifted his gaze to Ben walking behind Callum and putting his hand onto his shoulder. 

“ We’ve never seen yuw before.” Ben’s suspicions are up. 

“ Well no -“ 

Callum huffs. “ Come in and I’ll get James. “ he walks up the stairs without saying anything further. Ben closes the door and crosses his arms over his chest judging this lad. 

“ What’s your name? “ 

“ Brad. “ 

Ben nods, still slightly frowning at him. “ Why you never made yourself known before then? “ 

“ wut you mean? “ 

“ it means why you never come ‘ere before. All of James’s mates come here or something. “ 

“ Well I -“ 

“ Why the fuck are you ‘ere? “ James fumes, storming down the stairs. Ben reacts quickly getting between them both seeing the fire in his sons eyes. 

“ just calm down. “ Callum pulls him back, shocked at the furry his son is in. 

“ James I’m sorry! “ Brad cries. 

“ What’s he sorry for? “ Ben sounds like he is about to kill brad. 

“ He’s the one who picked on me kissin’ me mate! “ 

A dark mist covers Ben’s eyes and Callum is about to throw this Brad out on his arse. “ And now you came ‘ere?? “ Ben snaps at him, standing straighter making himself look stronger. 

Brad is like a deer caught in the headlights. “ I - I wanted to explain! “ 

Callum sighs at him. “ James let him talk yeh? Talk through the back. “ James throws one last dagger at Brad before him and Callum walk through the kitchen. Brad quickly follows as Ben looks like he is ready to rip his head off. It’s good that he loves Callum or Brad would be in hospital by now. 

“ They - they made me say those things. “ 

“ What? Homophobic slurs? “ James bitterly inserts. 

“ i said no. I said I don’t wanna do it. “ 

“ yet you carried on. “ Callum pipes in. 

Brad looks at Mr Highway - Mitchell. “ Only because they threatened to ‘urt me and me sister. “ 

“ Why not tell the school then? “ Ben questions. 

“ they won’t do anything. They’re shit. “ Brad told them like it’s obvious. 

“ your parents? “ Callum shoots another question, curiously. 

“ They’re - they don’t care. They neglect me and me sister - and are homophobic. “ Brad explained, vulnerability. “ I thought if I acted like those boys I would be accepted. I could hide who I really am. “ he accidentally slips out. Shit. 

“ So your gay? Bi? “ James options. 

“ gay. “ Comes out barely a whisper. 

“ and that’s why you went along with them? To not look different because you was scared? “ James asks him, understanding. 

“ Yeh, cos you - you have a family. You are loved and your dad’s adore ya, mine? They barely notice me or my sister. Only notice us when they beat us or verbally abuse us. “ 

Ben and Callum share a knowing look. They feel for the kid, they can tell he ain’t lying.   
“ Brad, there’s always you can always turn to for help. You don’t have to suffer in silence. “ Ben told him, a little bit more softer than his cold tone. 

“ Thanks. “ he awkwardly smiled. “ but I just don’t want cause more trouble. “

James stepped forward and smiled tensely. “ I forgive ya. “ 

“ you do? “ Hope. 

“ Yeh. What you did was wrong but - I understand your reasoning behind it. “ 

“ thank you James. “ Brad lets his shoulders drop in relief. “ and I’m sorry for upsetting for upsetting your son too. “ he directs at Ben and Callum. 

“ We’ll forgive ya. We just want to help you okay? “ Callum softly reassured him. “ you are always welcomes ‘ere. “ 

And when Ben didn’t say anything James and Callum looked at him pointedly. “ You and your sister can come here if you want, to be safe. “ he reluctantly said, still has his walls up. “ but I don’t you ever picking on James Yeh? “ his voice darkening slightly. 

Brad nodded nervously. “ I won’t - I’m really sorry. “ 

“ its fine. “ James smiled. “ you want play on the x-box? “ 

“ no. I can’t - I need to go back home. Sorry. “ 

“ no - no it’s fine. Maybe another time? “ 

“ I’ll love too. “ Brad smiles, genuinely happy. Ben lets Brad out and says to him that he can always come to him or Callum to talk. Ben comes back through the house to Callum and James separating from a hug. 

“ You handled that well James. “ Ben proudly states. 

“ i didn’t do anything. It was mainly up and dad. “ 

Callum puts his hand on James’s shoulder. “ But you understood ‘him, you let him talk and sorted it out without any fights. “ 

James shrugs with a embarrassed smile seeping onto his face. “ It’s the right thing to do. “ 

“ You’re so much like ya dad. “ Ben softly tells him. 

James smiled wider. “ I’m gunna go to my room and do me homework. “ he hugs Callum and Ben before jogging up the stairs. Ben slides his arms around Callum’s waist and pressing a kiss to Callum neck. 

“ We’ve done good with him haven’t we? “ 

“ We have. “ Callum rested his head against Ben’s head. “ Can’t wait to have more. “ 

“ Me too. “


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #38 - an ice skating date 
> 
> 2/2 prompt

“ Are we there yet? “ 

“ No. “ 

“ Now? “ 

“ No! “ 

“ Cal please - I’m starvin’! “ 

“ Shut the fuck up ben! You’ve been going on and on for a whole hour! “ 

Ben shut upped. To be fair to him, he has been whining a tad bit much but the drive was long and he was hungry. 

Callum was taking them somewhere for Christmas. A 4 day holiday for Ben to relax after a hectic year and how that year has taken it out of him. So maybe Ben is being a little ungrateful and should consider all the planning Callum has done especially for him. 

Ben slid his hand over and hesitantly placed it on the upper thigh and did a slight squeeze.   
“ Sorry baby. “ he guilty apologised, looking at his boyfriend with eyes slightly downcast. 

Callum sighs softly, holding Ben’s hand and pressing a kiss to the knuckles with his eyes still on the road. “ No I’m sorry - I shouldn’t have snapped at ya. “ 

“ I have been going on cal, it’s kinda expected. “ Ben lightly said, trying lighten the slight awkward atmosphere. 

Callum clicked his jaw. “ Do you really want to know where we’re going? “ The Highway lad defeated, slightly disappointed he couldn’t keep the location a secret for a while longer. 

Ben bit his lip, ‘I’m always ruining things’, he thought negatively. “ You don’t have to Cal. I know you’ve took a load of time organising this. “ 

“ i just wanted to make it a surprise that’s all. Yew’ve been dead tired ‘n’ busy this whole year. I wanted g’ive ya a break.” 

“ no ones ever done that for me before. “ Ben said quietly, amazed at his boyfriend’s gratitude. How he would book a place away from Walford, probably at a high place, 2 weeks away from Christmas just for him. 

A Christmassy, magical forest of love, for 4 days. 

“ Well you deserve it. “ 

“ I don’t. “ Ben let out, suddenly insecure. It’s weird because when you are seen as weak people take advantage of you. That’s why Ben has always built a cold hard man wall around himself, to bury his childhood self to rest. He always need the approval, the acceptance and that’s why he ended up in hospital.   
But when he is with Callum, he feels safe, content that he doesn’t have to pretend to be a hard man all the time. Who has no feelings and is just cold and deathly. That ain’t him - not really. 

Callum glanced at him and smiled at him softly. “ You Ben Mitchell deserve all the love and happiness in the world. “ 

“ But the things I’ve done -“ 

Highway interrupted him.“- And I still love ya. You make mistakes, sometimes you take action and then think afterwards, but you’re human. You have a family who care ‘bout ya. “ Callum preached, drilling the highlights into Ben’s head, trying to make him see that he is worthy of love. 

“ Dad don’t think that. “ Ben grumbled, playing with the rear end of his sleeve. 

“ Well He ain’t the most - nicest of people is he? “Callum choose carefully with is words. “ I know you want approval off him but why? To get him saying “ well done Ben for doing something successful? “ does that really mean everything to ya? “ Callum didn’t mean for it to come out so painfully blunt and harsh. 

And now Ben feels pathetic. He genuinely feels the smallest object in the universe for Callum’s blunt words. 

“ Oh no Ben - don’t cry -“ Callum cried, reaching his free hand and wiping away Ben’s tears. Ben sniffed not speaking. Callum pulled at the side of the road when it’s safe and turned in the set. 

“ Baby I didn’t mean to make yew upset. “ Callum guiltily commented, pulling his boyfriend into his chest - hugging him. 

“ You’re right. Dad won’t ever be proud of me. “ he whimpered into Callum’s chest. 

“ I know Phil means a lot to ya - I know you want some sort of acceptance off him but - you don’t have to nearly kill ya’self to get it. “ 

“ I just want him to be proud of me. “ 

“ Make him see it then. “ 

“ I have Cal! “ Ben choked out, pulling away from him and wiping his eyes. “ I’ve got a brilliant daught’er, a beautiful boyfriend a ‘ouse, businesses and deals - and it ain’t enough!” Ben sobbed, breaking point. “ it ain’t ever a enough! “ 

“ Jonno won’t ever be proud of me but see me now? I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted - everything I never had as a child and I’m saying a massive fuck you to ‘im. Because I know what hurts him more is seeing his son grow up without needing him, completely blocking ‘im out and he’s only looking inwards into my life. “ Callum preached his family unit, showing Ben that you don’t always have to do more than what you are mentally and physically able to do. 

“ But why does it feel like I need to tell him? Why do I always - always feel like I need to show ‘im that I’m the son he’s always wanted? “ Ben whimpered, saying it from the core of his insecurities. 

“ because like every one - they want praise. They want to make their parents proud - even when they are shit because what they think of yew matters more. “ 

“ I hate feeling this way Callum.” Ben admitted, voice raw. “ I hate feeling like I’m the shittest human ever and Phil will always see over me like I’m just a burden. “ 

Callum grabbed his boyfriends shaking hands and made him look at him. “ You are not a burden. Lexi adores ya, Lola and Jay love ya - I’m quite fond of yew. You are surrounded by so many people yet you are still attracted by the darkness of Phil Mitchell. “ 

“ I just want him to be proud of me. “ Ben repeated tiredly, he is just - mentally tired now it hurts. 

“ Don’t you think Phil was proud of yew he would’ve shown it by now? “ Maybe tough love has to work than the easy route. “ Yew need to accept you won’t ever fully get Phil’s acceptance Ben. It’s gunna end up killin’ ya. “ 

“ I just want to be the son he wanted. “

“ You can’t force yourself to be something you’re not Ben. You can do a few deals there and then but that isn’t what Phil should be proud of, yew plonk. “ Callum joked at the added part, doing all his worth to get Ben to smile at least. And Ben did, a small little chuckle and it makes Callum feel better for seeing his boyfriend smile a tiny bit.   
“ He should be proud of yew daughter, your legal businesses, you accepting your sexuality eventfully and for embracing it, for you to get a shared mortgage with your plank of a boyfriend - you’ve achieved so fucking enough and Phil should be proud of that. It’s wrong of him to only want dodgy deals and think that’s all you’re worth.” 

“ maybe that’s all I’m worth. “ Ben accepted defeat. 

“ I ain’t listening to your self pity. You are worth more than that, more than beatings and crime. You just need to see it. “ 

“ Well I am half blind so -“ Ben added, with a slight smile at his own suspense. 

“ See? “ Callum murmured. “ You havin’ a laugh ‘bout yewself. You ain’t nowt like Phil - and if yew are - it’s barely noticeable. “ 

Ben sighed heavily, clearing his throat and coughing slightly. “ I need to accept Phil won’t ever be proud of me, don’t I? “ 

“ Yeh. “ Callum lowered his tone, upset that a son has to accept your dad won’t ever be proud of your success. That hurts. “ But you can move all that negativity Phil has on yew and turn it into positivity for Lexi. You can make her proud she has a dad like yew, you show her how proud yew are of her. “ 

“ I am proud of her. “ Ben replied, frowning slightly. 

“ I know you are babe - What I’m saying is - be the dad you never had. “ Callum told him. “ Show Lexi how a real dad should act and treat her and loved ones like they mean the whole world of gold.“ 

“ I don’t want her to ever think I don’t care. “ That’s one of his worse fears. 

“ She don’t. She knows yew love her, you can see it from a mile off. “ 

Ben stretched out and hugged his boyfriend tightly, pressing a kiss to Callum’s neck. “ Thank you. “ 

Callum rubbed Ben’s back. “ Nowt to thank for. “ 

They pulled away and Ben looked at his watch - 17:30.   
“ Are we gunna miss whatever you’ve planned? “ he regretfully said, sounding so insecure. 

“ No. the check in is in thirty minutes so - if we go now we won’t be late. Unless you want -“ 

Ben firmly shook his head. “ no I want to go - you’ve planned all this and - I need a break. I want to be mentally better when I come back. “   
Callum shot him a proud smile and kissed him before starting the car again and driving to the cabin. 

-

“ oh my - “ Ben breathed out, eyes wide. “ - Oh my god -“ he stared at the dark, moist cabin. The big, thick Christmas trees running around and scattered over the place with the big tall ones protecting the area.   
The fairy lights and bulbs lighting up the dark area with the steaming hot top lighting up quarter of the area. 

Bloody magical. 

“Like it then? “ Callum grinned, smugly, pleased, nervous or all combined together. 

Ben turned around and practicality jumped up and down like a little kid before lunging for Callum to hug him tightly. He pressed multiple of kisses over Callum’s face and neck. 

“ It’s - It’s like a fairyland! This must’ve costed a load! “ He said when he pulled back to look at his too kind boyfriend. 

“ It was cheap to be fair. “ Callum admitted, before pressing a final kiss to Ben’s lips and pulling away to get their bags. “ talk inside - it’s fucking freezin’ out ere. “ he demanded without any dominance in his tone. 

Ben gasped when he entered the cabin. The homely, medium sized cabin splashing out boiling heat from the open log fire, rich red/golds and browns with lots of oak wood and drift wood making the cabin spring out into life. 

“ It’s nice init. “ Callum spoke when he got in and took off his boots with snow on. “ Looks nicer in real life than on the website. “ 

“ Cal -“ Ben wiped away a tear, overwhelmed by emotion. “ this - this place is beautiful. You must’ve paid a fortune-“ 

“ It don’t matter. “ Callum dismissed his worries. “ This break is gunna be about yew and me and sex with hot chocolates and marshmallows.” 

Ben huffed a smile. “ You are the best. The best boyfriend ever. “ 

“ I treat the ones I love. “ 

-

“ ...Cal? “ 

“ yeh? “ 

“ is that a ice rink? “ 

“ yep. “ 

“ I’ve really hit the jackpot haven’t I? “ 

“ Wait and see my love, wait and see. “ 

-

“ no no babe -“ Ben whined through a laugh slipping on the ice gripping into the barrier like his life depended on it. 

“ You just need to stand straight! “ 

“ unfortunate term of phrase. “ 

Callum fondly rolled his eyes and wrapped his hands around his boyfriend’s waist. He lifted Ben onto his feet and back hugged him as he slowly ice skated them around the rink. 

“ You gotta let your feet be in control. “ 

“ I bold of you to assume I’ll concentrate on this when I feel your dick against my arse. “ 

“ Ben! “ Callum choked out a surprised laugh. He tightened his hug and pressed a cold kiss to Ben’s neck. “ Yew enjoying yourself babe? “ 

“ Whenever I’m with you - I’m always enjoying me’self. “ 

“ what? Even when I was puking my guts out last month? U enjoyed my company then? “ 

“ Sickness ‘n’ health init. “ Ben joked boldly. 

“ Can’t wait. “ 

A jolt through Ben’s body. A hint of marriage, he can’t wait to marry Callum in the foreseeable future. 

“ I love you Callum. “ Ben told him, voice even, he means it. The words coming straight from his heart. 

“ I love you more sweetheart. “ Callum spun Ben around, who made a very shocked face and yelped terrified as he spun in Callum’s embrace. 

“ never do that again! “ Ben told him off after nearly having a heart attack from the shock. 

“ it was so funny though! “ 

“ Meany. “ 

“ You love it. “

“ Mmm debatable. “ 

Ben pouted. “ I’m cold. “ and he was, it was like he turned into an ice cube. 

“ You wanna go into the hot tube with those hot chocolates?” 

Ben pressed a millionth kiss to Callum’s icy lips and slid a teasing tongue in. “ Perfect. “ 

-

“ This is the best holiday I’ve ‘ever had. “ Ben told him, resting his head on the edge of the tube. 

“ I’m pleased yew’re enjoying yew’self, especially at the price I paid for this place. “ 

Ben opened his eyes and looked at Callum squinting nearly because his glasses fogged up.   
“ I am grateful. This - no ones has never done this for me before. “ 

Callum placed his mug down onto the flat surface and straddled Ben’s thighs, bare chests hitting wet skin. “ I love yew Ben. I’ll do anything for yew, I wanted to treat yew and I’ll always gunna treat yew and lex.” 

“ can I marry you now? “ Ben stroked the length of Callum’s wet arm, smiling without showing teeth. His eyes radiating love and happiness, the lightest colour of blue. 

“ Think the rings are in my bag.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this longer and do an actual Christmas fic but then i didn’t want to post it on the actual EE page for it to become unpopular? I didn’t want this to be so long on this multi chapter fic either. So yeh. 
> 
> thank u for reading, the support and prompts!!


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #39 - Callum considers doing a Health & Social Care course or work experience to get the qualification

Callum was minding his own business in his own flat, sitting on their ( his & Ben’s ) soda looking on his MacBook till what felt like a rock being hurled at him. It was not. It’s Ben. Who jumped down beside him and felt like a rock. 

“ alright babe? “ Ben questioned not letting him communicate back as he pressed a kiss to his lips happily. He wrapped both arms around the man’s waist and hugged him, letting his head fall onto Callum’s shoulder. 

“ I was till you nearly dislocated my hip. “ 

“ aw baby. “ Ben mocked. “ you want me to kiss it better? “ he made a fish ‘o’ mouth and even added the bloody fish sound effects. Do fish actually make a noise? Callum wondered. 

“ no - just a new hip thanks. “ 

“ it ain’t broken! “ 

“ How would yew know? “ 

“ You’d be in fucking pain! “ 

Callum grumbled something whilst raising both eyebrows like he insulted Ben in his own head. He then takes his attention back to the laptop whilst asking a question to his boyfriend. 

“ Why yew so ‘appy? Yew finally made a successful deal yet? “ 

“ Yes Callum, thank you very much. “ Ben was not amused with Callum’s attitude. “ my last deal went okay in fact. “ 

Callum frowned, dramatically turning to him frowning. “ You didn’t get it? “ 

“ No - because the twat got something better. “ Not at all bitter. Well - he should be suppose. 

“ Meanin’ your deal was shit. “ 

“ It was not shit Callum! It was the full bloody works! Seat warmers, the highest engine speed and - and! It was a old make worth thousands!! “ 

“ ...yet you couldn’t sell it off? “   
Callum faked winced. Damm Callum is in a brutal mood. “ That car that geezer got must’ve been 20 times better. “ 

Ben clicked his jaw. “ It weren’t Callum! It was probably cheaper! I tell you now he’ll be coming back to me wanting me to s’ell ‘im a dodgy car. “ 

“ Or he just wanted to see if your shit car is still there and think that’ll do. “ 

Ben lightly smacked Callum’s chest. “ Stop bein’ bitchy! “ 

Callum huffed a laugh, pressing a apologetic kiss to Ben’s forehead. “ It’s a change really - yew always bitchy. “ he explained. “ Bitchy Ben Mitchell.” He adds. 

“ I will be bitchy in a bloody minute if you carry on! “ Ben lightly threatened. He then takes notice of the light screen and sees courses and career paths. “ why you lookin’ at Health and Social courses for babe? “ 

“ Well I’ve always been kind natured and always want to look after people don’t I? “ says it like it’s obvious. “ I want to ‘elp people- I want to support ‘em. “ 

“ you want look after old people? “ Ben is blunt. Callum rolls his eyes at Ben’s wording- because it sounds like it’s coming out of a 5 year olds mouth than a 25 year old. 

“ It ain’t just the elderly Ben -“ Callum states him correctly. “ - it can be with infants, children, adolescents, adults or the older generation. “ 

“ oooh look at yew! All educated! “ 

“ Ben “ Callum sighs, annoyed.   
“ I’m bein’ serious- can yew be too for once? “ 

Ben sits up into a more comfortable position and takes a proper interest into what his boyfriend is looking at. “ Which one do yew want to look at? “ 

Callum tilts his to the side considering the options. “ Adolescences, or the elderly- I want to support the vulnerable. The people who really need a support. “ 

“ a social worker? “ 

“ yeh... maybe... I want to give kids who are in a abusive household a chance of happiness. I want to help everyone basically. “ he chuckles, more to himself. 

“ That’s really good of ya babe. “ Ben amuses, stroking Callum’s chest. “ you’d be the most reliable, kind hearted worker out there. I honestly think you’d make a difference. “ 

Callum blushes. “ Don’t say that-“

“ I’m bein’ serious! I think you’d be perfect to do Health & Social care. “ 

“ well it splits into 2 sections - you’d either do Health or social for the level 3 - if yew get to that. “ 

“ is the working with kids in health then? “ 

“ no you do a separate course for that - childcare. “ 

“ ohh. “

“ mmm. “ Callum hummed, concentrating on the paragraph of information. “ You don’t have to go to college - you can get work experience and work on the job apparently. “ 

“ I think that’s the better option. It’d be better than going to college at your age - you’d be the oldest there! “ 

“ cheeky! “ 

“ what?! I’m stating the truth! “ 

Callum tickled Ben’s side before stopping and making a decision.   
“ I’m gunna ring ‘em for more information later. “ 

“ on a serious note babe - Whatever you do - I’ll support ya. “ 

Callum smiles at him happy, happy that he has support. At least 1 person has hope for him.   
“ I love you. “ 

“ I love you too. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my personal opinion, I think EE should’ve gone down the route of Health and social care for Cal. It opens up so many career paths that would suit Callum because it all involves helping people. I don’t think being a police officer would benefit Callum, because he ain’t the sort to arrest people. I think he’d feel bad - i don’t know. I just don’t see Callum being a police officer but he would look dead fit in the uniform lol 
> 
> But my opinion may change.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #40 - PC Highway comes in late from a night shift - queue vulnerable, sleepy Ben and soft talks in the morning with the added smut too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored and this came along and I’ll probably write more bored fics
> 
> Thank you for all the support! It does not go dismissed!

“ That y’oo Babe? “ Ben sleepily slurred from his deep sleep. He reached his arm out to touch Callum who was sat on his own side of the bed taking off his shoes. 

Callum turned softly stretching over to give his boyfriend a kiss on the forehead. He brushed Ben’s messy hair off his forehead soothingly. 

“ Yes, go back to bed. “ Callum whispered delicately. 

Ben seemed to ignore Highways light demand and shuffled closer to him and wrapped his arms around Callum’s bare waist. 

“ You meant be back hours go. “ Ben told him, the deep slumber clinging onto his brain function making him not make proper, understanding sentences. 

“ I know baby, the night shift took longer than expected. “ 

“ M’missed you. “ 

Callum kicked his shoes away and took off his work trousers before sliding into the bed with his still half asleep boyfriend. 

“ I missed you too. “ he snuggled up to him and wrapped the quilt around Ben again. Who clung onto Callum like a octopus. 

“ You didn’t get hurt? “ 

Ben has taken the habit of asking Callum this now, for every shift Callum does. Night or day - stand by or not. 

“ No. “ 

“m’you not lyin’? “ 

“ sleep. “ Callum told him again, seeing Ben’s eyes become heavier and his body becoming dead weight. 

“ better not be. “ is his last words. 

-

“ What time did you get back? “ Ben asked him, still in the position when Callum first came in. 

“ 2 in the mornin’. “ 

Ben nodded, yawning. “ You didn’t answer me question. “ 

“ What was it? “ 

“ did yew get hurt? “ 

“ No, just few verbal assaults but not physical. “ 

“ good. “ Ben kissed Callum’s defined chest. 

“ You was okay? “ 

“ Just missed you - hardly ever see you anymore. “ Ben admitted to him sadly. He traced different shapes on Callum’s muscled stomach. 

When Ben found out Callum had to go to the gym ( he wasn’t ever fat or borderline chubby but the Chief recommended going because the Police have to do lots of physical work ). He weren’t too happy. Ben loved the softness to Callum’s body, the soft skin made Ben feel comforted and safe and warm. But, now Callum’s body is defined by muscle - don’t get Ben wrong he likes muscley men but - Callum is different. He liked the softness to his body and now Callum is not soft. 

“ I’m sorry for that. “ Callum murmured, he kissed Ben’s forehead and slid his hand down to Ben’s arse to give the plump flesh a squeeze. “ but I’ve got a day off today. “ 

Ben lifted his head up in surprise. “ Really? “ he sounded so hopeful. 

“ hmm. “ He nodded. “ You and me and Lex could do -“ 

“ it’s a school day. “ 

“ it’s Saturday init? “ 

“ Thursday. “ 

“ oh. “ 

Ben sighed, another thing he doesn’t like about Callum’s long night shifts is he sleeps the day away and all the days to weeks get blended together. 

“ We could do something then?” Callum tried, bit awkwardly. 

“ But your tired though. “ Ben disappointedly stated, getting up and straddling his boyfriend’s waist. Callum automatically placed his hands on Ben’s love handles and stroked the skin with both thumbs. 

“ I want to spend the day with me boyfriend - don’t wanna sleep the day away again -“ 

Ben smiled softly and kissed him on the lips. “ Wot you want to do then? “ 

“ Well we could always go on a dinner date for our tea? Then come back ‘ere and ‘ave long, loving sex. “ 

Ben snorted at Callum’s soft, dopey smile and voice. “ Feels like a long time since I had your big weapon up me arse. “ 

Callum snorted with laughter.   
“ I missed you - “ he started. “ Physically - I’m really starting to ache for your hard, wet cock in me anal now. “ 

Ben burst out laughing before quietening down shortly afterwards. “ in the last 12 months of knowing ya - you’ve never been so blunt! “ 

“ because I’m that desperate babe for your leaking cock. “ 

“ I’ve been using our sex toys I have. “ 

“ oh yeh? “ 

“ Mmmm. When I’m alone in our bed - I stretch my hole out and pretend it’s your fingers in my leaking hole - “ Ben sucked on the skin of Callum’s collarbone as Callum moaned feeling his penis outgrow. “ - and fist myself for ages till the point where I’m screaming for your name and I make myself come thinking of you -“ 

“ Oh baby -“ Callum grinds his hips up into Ben’s hole underneath him. 

“ - and then I have the biggest buttplug to memorise your dick inside me instead. “ Ben growled against the flush skin and kissed Callum’s lips hungrily again. 

“ I need to fucking fuck you now -“ Callum rolled down Ben’s boxers and pushed him backwards making Ben the bottom. 

“ Come on baby - be dominant-and sexy with me - make me come and waiver under you -“ Ben tugged ya Callum’s hard cock. 

“ - I’m gunna make you ache and whine and fucked when I’m gone with yew -“ 

“ All the talk and none the action -“ 

-

“ wow “ Ben breathed out, beyond impressed. “ All those gym sessions have worked out then. “ he huffed a breathless laugh. 

“ Because I only want to be flexible for you babe. “ Callum joked, giving Ben’s moist shoulder a kiss. 

And then Ben grimaced from  
the uncomfortable sensation of wet, cum and clammy feeling on the bed and himself. 

“ I need a shower. “ 

Callum grinned and straddled Ben again kissing him senseless for saying against his lips. “ Round 3? “ 

“ We can never have enough sex -“ Ben stated. “ - and anyway we’ve got a lot of make up sex to do, don’t we? “ 

“ A lot of make up sex -“ Callum repeated with lust, they both started kissing again for a few minutes before having rounds and rounds of shower sex.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #41 - Ben lands himself in prison and the consequences are the chances of losing his family

“ Cal I’m so sorry “ 

“ You should be “ 

Ben winced at his cold words.   
“ I didn’t mean to get caught!” 

“ no, course you didn’t- but you did ben. “ 

“ Please don’t be like that. “ Ben requested quietly, glancing around the prison room to check if anyone saw his inner vulnerability. What a joke, even now, he still needs to play the hard man - even when the love of his life is slowly fading away because of his stupidity. 

Callum tilts his head to the side, eyes narrowing with enough coldness to make Ben physically shiver. “ like what Ben? Angry? “ he seethed in a hissed tone. “ Happy? Happy that my supposed boyfriend is doing time in prison!? “ 

“ I’m still your boyfriend. “ Ben reminded him, more for himself because they are aren’t they? Boyfriends? 

Callum huffs out a short laugh and leans back on the plastic chair, folding his arms over his chest. “ You expect me to pause me life whilst yew’re in ‘ere? “ 

Ben flinches, one tear slides down his cheek, head down, ashamed. 

“ What about lex? Ay? Think of her! “ 

Ben’s head shoots up, he leans forward too quickly making the table knock into Callum. Too angry and protective to care.   
“ Don’t you bring -“ 

“ Yeh I will Ben -“ Callum tells him too calmly, leaning forward too now and crossin’ both arms on the flat surface. He is taking control of the situation, confident. “ You never thought of her when you was doing your dodgy shit once. “ 

“ Yeh I-“ 

“ No you didn’t! “ Callum dismissed him. “ You never thought of that little girl crying at home after I told her, her daddy ain’t coming home for years! “ 

Ben bit his cheek hard, to not let out a sob. 

“ You never thought of the future without her dad, she adores yew, you are her moon and oxygen. “ Callum uses the guilt trip card, because it’s true in his book. “ Yew never thought of Jay or Lola or yew mum or me. Yew only cared about the money, of getting the approval off yew dad - everything else don’t matter no more. “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ He chokes out, its hard to swallow from the hard lump in his throat and the guilt eating him alive. 

“ Sorry ain’t good enough Ben. “ Callum bluntly said. “ This is yew’re home now - for the next 5 years. “ 

“ But I’ll have you -“ 

“ Bold of you to assume I’ll be coming here to see yew. “ 

Ben flinched harshly. Fine, if that’s how he’s gunna be, 2 can play that game. “ If you fucking feel like that then fuck off! “ 

“ But then you’ll be alone won’t you? “ Callum pouts nastily. When Callum plays nasty, he really plays the part. “ Daddy ain’t ‘ere to see yew, you do know -“ he leans forward to him. “ - he’s disappointed yeh? “ he chuckles. “ - not in yew Ben - but in the fact that - you couldn’t have just stopped it, before it went too far. “ 

“ I don’t need you Callum. “ 

“ no? Well that’s me told init? Yew won’t get your ‘bodyguards’ on me for upsetting yew? “ 

“ Fuck off Callum - if you hate me so -“ 

“ I’m disappointed in you. I don’t hate yew, or resent ya, I’m just - disappointed. “ 

Ben avoids his gaze. “ I wanted to get that money and I didn’t mean for anyone to get ‘urt. “ 

“ But they did. You are responsible with the other thugs. “ 

“ So I’m that I’m I? “ He stares at him, hurt. “ A thug? “ 

“ what do you call yourself Ben?” 

“ It Don’t -“ 

“ yeh it does - what do you think you are Ben? “ Callum pronounces each word with curiosity. 

“ A failure. “ 

“ At least you’ve admitted it. “ Callum agrees to a point. “ I mean - how many times can a person do ‘business ‘ and it all went wrong? “ 

“ Why are you being so nasty? “ 

“ Maybe because I want to be for a change. I can’t always be the nice guy you know. I can’t always be the cheerful bloke everyone likes. “ Callum informs him, tired, angry, disappointed - too many emotions. “ Maybe I want my boyfriend to know how hurt I am - maybe I’m that bitter and angry I want to hurt him too. So he can feel how I feel. “ 

“ I know you are hurting. “ 

“ Yet you can’t do anything about it. “ 

“ I can get a reduced sentence- on good behaviour -“ 

“ Please Don’t make me laugh Ben. yew ain’t gunna get out of ‘ere - yew gunna cause more trouble in ‘ere. Yew gunna go and start fights because yew think you’ve lost everything ‘n’ yew feel what’s the point? “ 

Ben blinks, how does Callum know him like that? How does he know Ben act like that? 

“ Haven’t I? “ 

“ what? “ 

“ lost everything? “ 

“ I still love yew. Lex - loves ya, Lola and Jay are mad at you. Phil is - Phil. “ 

“ I don’t want to lose you. “ 

“ Should’ve thought of that -“ 

“ Yes i know that Callum. “ Ben snaps. “ I know I’ve fucked up, I know I’m a disappointment and a failure. I know I’ve lost me boyfriend, my daughter-“ his voice cracks. “ I know everyone’s gunna move on with life and I’ll be forgotten about. “ 

“ You’ll won’t ever be forgotten about Ben. You’ll just be someone who ain’t there no more. “ 

“ Because that makes me better don’t it? “ 

The police officer shouts 10 minutes to go. Ben panics. This is going to be their final goodbye init? 

“ I still love you Ben. “ Callum finally shatters the walls around his heart. “ but I’m angry at you. I want to wait for you but - you’re gone for 5 years. “ 

“ I know that baby but please don’t give up on me. “ Ben begs. 

“ I don’t want too but - What If it’s too late? What if I don’t want to wait 5 years? I don’t want to fall out of love with you. “ 

“ I don’t want to either. “ 

“ I’ll always love Lexi. “ 

“ don’t you dare -“ 

“ I’ll always protect her and always be there - but maybe you was right - we’re too different people. “ 

“ Shut up. “ Ben bites down on his lip but the tears keep coming down. 

“ I wanted us to be married in a few years - a ‘ouse together, kids -“ 

“ and we still can -“ Ben grabs Callum’s hands in a vice grip. 

“ but you’ve wrecked that now. We can never have kids of our own - your track record was already bad as it was. “ 

“ Then what do you want to do about it Callum? It seems like you’ve already written me off. “ 

“ I just wished me and Lexi were enough for yew. “ 

“ You were - are! You two mean the whole world to me! “ 

“ no we don’t. “ Callum dismisses. “ We only mean half of the world to ya - your dad’s approval means more to you. “ 

Ben shakes his head, 5 minutes to go, a countdown of their relationship as it seems. “ You know you and Lexi mean everything to me. “ 

“ so why do the dodgy deals? “ 

“ Because - because it’s the only way of getting money! “ 

“ Yet someone got badly injured because of it. “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

“ I honestly don’t know where we stand anymore. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Callum is very harsh in this and mean to Ben, I gotta admit. But, I wanted him angry at his boyfriend for getting himself into prison.   
I left what happened to the bloke, for you to decide and for you to think of concepts with Ballum either breaking up/staying together etc. 
> 
> Please don’t be too mad at me! What I wrote was entirely how the characters feels and isn’t reflected on my own opinions


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #42 - PC Highway saves Ben’s ass yet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank u for all the support and gratitude !!! 
> 
> -I’m thinking of doing a small one shot of a mpreg with Callum freaking out about having a baby being developed inside him 
> 
> And with ben being smug he’s knocked someone up the duff again

Callum rushed to The Car Lot on his shift break and didn’t bother to knock on the metal door. He is too frantic and needs to urgently tell his boyfriend the news. Callum completely dismisses Ben jumping out of his skin when he bursts in. 

“ what the hel-“ 

“ You need to get all your dodgy shit out of The Arches! “ 

Ben frowned, alarmed and standing up facing his police officer boyfriend. One benefit of dating a copper - they let you know information relating to you. 

“ Why? “ 

Callum huffs at his lack of logical thinking. “ Because you’ve been doing dodgy activity Ben! You’ve caused suspicion and they’re gonna do a unexpected expectation. “ 

Ben sighs heavily, rubbing his forehead. “ I knew that fucking-“ 

“ I haven’t got the time Ben! Just get rid of anything illegal!!!” Callum blurted out hysterically because he’s going to be late for his next duty. He then quickly pecks Ben heavily on the lips and then he’s gone like the flash. 

Ben got both sets of keys and locked the car lot door before sprinting to the arches to get rid of evidence. 

-

Ben placed the lasagna onto the plates just in time for his boyfriend to enter the flat. Callum sighed heavily, physically tired. He tiredly smiled though at Ben looking domestic. 

“ what’s this in aid for? “ Callum supposes, pecking Ben on the lips as Ben wrapped his arms around Callum’s waist ( it was hard to wrap his short arms around because of Callum’s layered police uniform ). 

“ to say a thank you for letting me know I’ll get raided by coppers. “ 

Callum hums playfully. “ You should be Mr Mitchell. I was on me break and sprinted ‘ere to tell yew. “ 

Ben kissed him again and pushed him against the counter. “ If only I was there to see ya run. “ 

“ It was nothing special - I tripped over a casket of tomato’s. “ 

Ben howls with laughter. “ What?! How? “ 

“ I was too busy saving me boyfriend’s arse. “ 

“ And later you can eat me out for saving it. “ Ben appreciated Callum’s bum with a tight squeeze. 

Callum scoffed and kissed him lovingly on the lips. “ I need to get changed and ‘ave a shower.” 

“ A shared one? “ 

“ Not tonight baby. “ Callum rubbed Ben’s arms. 

“ Shame. “ he pouts. “ Wanted to thank you some more. “ 

“ Yeh shame init. “ 

“ Idiot. “ Ben laughed. 

20 minutes later Callum strolls back into the living room wearing his shorts and white - it’s seen better days - t-shirt. Ben reheated Callum’s meal for him and now sits on the coffee table with a small table for your lap. 

“ Babe it’s turning cold - eat it well ya. “ Ben ordered. 

Callum collapsed onto the sofa next to him gulping down the beer before pulling away with a loud burp. 

Ben grimaced. “ Maybe that’s why yew got one boyfriend. “ 

Callum smacked him on the arm. “ oi cheeky! “ he stated. “ I’ve done a 13hr shift! “ 

“ Excuses. “ 

“ You sorted the arches out then? “ Callum changed the topic. 

“ Yep. Just in time and the coppers found nowt. “ Ben smiled pleased. 

“ Which police officer did yew get? “ 

Ben shrugged. “ some bloke called PC Jones? “ 

“ ohh him! “ Callum exclaimed whilst taking a mouthful of lasagna. “ He’s dead nice. “ 

“ I didn’t think that when he was looking in me draws. “ 

“ yeh no one wants see that. “ 

Ben nudged him. 

“ Did you arrest any baddies then? “

“ yeh a few - there was one bloke -“ Callum swallowed his food. “ -and he had dead good package on him. “ 

Ben deadpanned him with a look. “ Should I be jealous? “ 

“ no he’s going to prison for selling class A drugs. “ 

Ben chuckled lightly. “ You little tease. “ 

“ What? It’s true -he had good set of muscles on him! “ 

Ben wrapped his arm around Highways waist. “ You’ll rather have me though -“ 

“ No one compares babe - “ 

“ Same goes for you -“ Ben smiled sleepily. “ Why do you even do in the car with your colleagues? “ 

“ Driving ‘round - going on car races - having a quickie- arresting people. You know the usual. “ Callum had a cheeky glint in his eye. 

“ I think I preferred you when you was less sarcastic and less like me. “ 

“ It’s the Mitchell influence. “ 

“ Mustn’t be working cos u a officer. “ 

“ But I’m still protecting ya from the law. “ 

“ true. “ 

Callum finished off his food and put the dirty plate onto the coffee table. “ cheers for the Tesco take away lasagna. “ 

“ Your welcome. “ Ben grinned. “ Now - bedroom? “ he wiggled his eyebrows. 

Callum answered with a hungry kiss with his hand sliding down Ben’s pants. 

The past tiredness completely forgotten about. He can sleep tomorrow away - because of all the make up sex tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never had custard but I really fancy some hot custard over a thick chocolate cake 
> 
> Weird init. I’ve never had custard, yet, becos of a school memory i want it


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #45 - 10 years on

Ten years on 

Ben breathed in the fresh air Walford. It was still the same, nearly half of a lifetime and Ben never felt so at home before. Since Ben had been traveling around and since seeing Jay, Lex and Lola away from the square. It was time to be back. 

Things had changed and some of it was Ben’s doing. Lola, Lex and jay wanting a new life away from Walford, now happily married. Ben single since the full filled burst up with Callum that broke them, broke their relationship. 

Ben expected Callum to be single, or in a relationship. 

Ben walked into the café and immediately spotted Callum was a bloke. Too close for Ben’s liking and then his chest and stomach churned as they kissed freely on the lips. 

The bands on their fingers made the blood drain away. Married? They - his Callum is married? That should be him and Callum but since - 

“ Love! Your back! “ Kathy burst into tears, running excitedly round the counter and hugging the life out of her son. Ben returned the hug and kiss on the cheek but still catching eyes with Callum. 

Cold eyes. 

Callum looked angry but retreated. Ben hated it. Both of the men stood up and Callum kissed him again as goodbye. 

“ alright Cal? “ Ben announced with that smug smirk, shooting the bloke who kissed is Callum. Ben don’t care if he’s being petty - Callum is his - even after these painful 10yrs. 

Callum’s eyebrows knitted together. Ben didn’t notice that but his body - he looked fitter now, than all those years ago. Callum’s hair styled to perfection, a light fit tan to his once pale skin. 

Ben’s been missing out. 

“ why yew ‘ere? “ 

“ Thought I’ll make an appearance. “ 

Kathy slapped her son’s arm. “ it’s been 4 years Ben! “ 

“ I’ve been busy! “ 

Callum scoffed. “ bet you have.” He muttered. Ben sighed heavily and shot his mum a look ‘ can u leave us? ‘ 

“ Can we talk? “ 

“ no. “ Callum didn’t miss a beat. 

“ please cal. “ 

“ you lost that right ages ago, calling me that nickname. “ 

“ Please. “ Ben repeated, even more vulnerable. Callum sighed heavily and nodded shortly walking out of the café to his car. 

Surprisingly Callum doesn’t live in the square as Ben assumed. He lives 30 minutes away from there. Ben doesn’t know why he would drive all the way there but Linda, mick and probably Stuart still live there. 

And also what really made Ben shook was the fancy house Callum lives in. A fortune. Is Callum rich and his husband? ( Ben wanted to be his husband). 

Callum entered his home and walked into the large kitchen starring at Ben with a dull look. 

“ what do you want? “ 

“ I want you. “ 

“ You taking the fucking mick? “ 

Ben shook his head. “ no! I know it’s been 10yrs -“ 

“ - you’re too late. “ 

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. “ I know a lot has changed-“

“ I’m married, I have a beautiful husband and have 3 gorgeous kids Ben. Why would I want to walk away from that? “ 

Ben couldn’t speak. He wants Callum, he misses him loves him still. “ because we’re soulmates.” 

“ No we ain’t - you wouldn’t have broken me heart if you really loved me Ben. “ 

“ I didn’t mean to do it! “ 

“ what? Break me heart or wreck us? “ 

“ both! “ 

“ Leave. “ 

“ no! Not without you admitting you love me still! “ Callum couldn’t believe the audacity this man has to flounce back into his life and to announce his underlying love for him. 

“ I don’t. I love Luke. “ 

“ Not like us though. What we had -“ 

“ yeh Ben had. What we had is gone. “ 

“ And we can still change it to now! Please I’m sorry -“ 

Callum groaned. “ what part of leave don’t yew understand? “ 

Ben stepped forward and cupped Callum’s stubble jaw. He had a proper beard now, it made him look even more handsome. The beard made him look stronger, less innocent. Ben missed the chances and that sweet Callum Highway isn’t here no more. 

“ I know you love me. “ 

“ you are delusional. “ 

Ben bit his lip. He still sees it. The fire and spark in Callum’s eyes. That love is still there, still beating hard. Soulmates always find a way of reconnecting. 

“ I will get you back Callum. “ 

“ why now? Why wait so long? “ 

“ I needed to be stable again. “ 

“ you’re too late. Everything has moved on. You’re still in the past Ben. “ 

“ And that’s what we are Yeh? The past? “ Ben broke. 

Pause. Too long. “ it’s what we have to be. “ 

“ I still love you. “ 

“ I’ll always love you. “ Callum admitted heavily, now cupping Ben’s stubble jaw. God he is beautiful still. 33 years old and Ben still looks gorgeous, completely grown into his looks. “ But I have a life now. I love my family, what I have. Everyone has moved on, changed. You are too late. “ 

“ We’re never too late if we don’t try. I want to fight for us. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can decide why Ballum broke up. I wrote this because it just came to me and I’m not going to make a part 2 because I don’t always want a clear ending. 
> 
> But I hope this has captured you and you liked it anyways !


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #46 - A insight into Ben’s and Callum’s traumatic experiences and shows why they are good together 
> 
> ( Mentions of Child abuse & Stella & unhealthy coping mechanisms )

Ben and Callum both knew they suffered from nightmares. They both knew they kept it a secret and wouldn’t tell anyone, only each other reluctantly. That’s why both men are so linked with one and another, they understand each other and both have a deep understanding about child abuse, sexuality, crap parents ( Phil & Jonno ) and their struggles with needing to be strong and not weak. 

When Ben is upset, he drinks, pushes people away and lashes out. To build a metaphorical barrier around himself to protect himself. 

Callum has the similarities as Ben’s unhealthy coping mechanisms. He becomes withdrawn, drinks, sometimes turns the hot water to scalding and tries to hurt himself in silence. 

When both men are mentally and physically hurting - they understand to a point of their trauma. Callum knows the triggers Ben has, who likes to avoid them or deny them as possible. But Callum can see straight through Ben and he is lowkey thankful because he don’t need to lie as much. 

When Ben had a trigger it was in the middle of that night. When he dreamed of Stella, that night was made worse because he jumped off the bed. Into the darkness and he still heard Stella, she was coming closer to him, but, he couldn’t see or hear properly. So he was falling and stumbling into different, hard surfaces. The magic black room filled with harsh breaths and animal whimpers. 

“ Cal - she’s here - help me! I can’t see nor ‘ear anything!! “ 

Callum never came. Ben was alone again, with Stella and - he was back at his house. Where he used to live in his late childhood days. 

Ben ran. Stella came rushing, screaming and hysterically laughing. Ben cried. Sobbed. He felt beyond vulnerable now, reverted back to that child again. 

“ leave me alone! “ He screeched. “ Your dead! “ 

“ no I ain’t! “ Stella told him straight, all teeth, all red eyes glaring into his soul. 

“ please just - leave! “ Ben sobbed into his knees, wrapping his arms around his head into a fatal position. 

“ Always a coward - forever a coward! When will you ever be a proper man!? “ 

And he flinched harshly at the human touch to his shoulder. 

“ Ben -“ 

It sounded like he was underwater. 

“ Ben yew okay? “ 

“ Stella? “ Ben grasped out. Voice sore and raw, like he’d been yelling on top of his lungs. Maybe he has? 

“ It’s me Ben. Callum. “ 

Ben looked up and squinted. He saw the outlines of the man’s features, the man’s voice more recognisable now and Ben could finally breathe again. He leapt into Callum’s embrace, sobbing hysterically, clutching Callum’s t-shirt as he shook and shakes with the powerful cries of distress. 

“ she was ‘ere! She - she was gunna get me again! “ 

“ she ain’t Ben, yew just had a nightmare-“ 

And from then on, Callum taught himself to not be a deep sleeper. He was a light sleeper now a days since the worst nightmare Ben has experienced. Ben always wrapped his body to Callum as humanly possible nowadays. To be protected, Callum was his safety blanket. 

The same with Callum too. He had PTSD and his nightmares turned to daymares. The flashbacks of bombs, explosions, shouts, screams, Jonno, Stuart - Chris. The list will go on.

And Ben and Callum always supported each other. The nightmares they would make hot chocolate with marshmallows in & chocolate powder. If one of them couldn’t get back to sleep, if they just wanted to sit in silence with the other. To feel calm or too traumatised to get back to sleep again. 

Ben always thought he was shit at advice. Callum told him repeatedly he isn’t. Ben always talks about how he copes to other that suggestion to his lover. Ben would stay up all night with Callum ( and vice versa ). Ben doesn’t need to say anything at all because he is good at non verbal communication, with all the unspoken words going into gentle touches, hugs, tears/hot chocolates. He just needs to be there. 

That’s why Ben and Callum have found their match. They understand each other, relate to each other, had the ( about) same abuse and internal crisis about being gay. 

That’s why every time someone says how do they get on so much. Why are they still together when they’re too completely different people? 

Ben just says “ We’ve shared the same story but got different chapters of experiences. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know what this is. It kinda just came to me. Sorry if it’s   
sh!t !! 
> 
> I know Ben has suffered equal amounts as Callum but I didn’t want to list loads of things. To make the fic boring and dragged out.


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #48 - Callum is volunteering at a palliative care hospice and today is more emotionally draining than the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly canon! I changed it and I think I’ve ( multiple times ) incorrectly spelt the word “ palliative “ wrong? Sorry! 
> 
> Also, I wouldnt say nicked, but I got inspiration off - https://archiveofourown.org/works/21733549 this fic and wanted to do my own spin off. ( not saying it’ll be better! It’s just I got my own idea and I thought- oohh wanted to write it ).

Callum decided not to go into the police force. It was much harder than he originally thought, the exams, intense physical activity and then he would have 6 months shadowing.   
Callum wasn’t naive enough to think it’d be easy, but if Callum really wants to help people, really wants to make a difference. Why not go into the career of a Social Worker? 

He applied for an apprenticeship and that is starting in April, so for now he is still working in The Funeral Parlour and volunteering in a Palliative Care Hospice in London. 

The palliative care is draining. It can make Callum low, watching people die and hearing their last harsh breathes. Callum was used to people dying, seeing people deceased. But somehow this was completely different, you are actually there unlike the army you hear them or just see them fall the ground. 

Ben helped Callum a lot. He made Callum comfortable when he was having an extra hard time at shifting the day off. Ben would make hot chocolate ( just powder and hot milk but Callum dismissed Ben’s comments of “ its nothing “ or “ it’s just a hot drink “ ). Then make a little binge session in front of the telly and run his fingers through Callum’s hair. 

Like today. Callum was in a comfortable, peaceful room with a old friend. He had no one. He told Callum his friends drifted away from him when he joined The Royal Air Force, his family outcasted him when he was 16. So, Tom, died alone with only Callum there. 

Callum and Tom talked about the distant memories, talked like they hadn’t lost touch for about 12 years. Callum missed Tom, when they lost touch, he would have times of wondering. A pity, this is the end of chapter of their drifted friendship. 

When Callum was on the train home that last afternoon ( or shift ) really hooked onto his bones. What if Callum will be like that? What if he dies on his own? What if Ben and him break up and Callum will have no one? Will he become like his father? 

Of course, Ben declined the self pity. Ben lay in bed with him, stroking his hair like he would with Lexi and murmured sweet words into his ear. 

“ You will never be alone babe. “ Ben pressed a kiss to his cheek. “ You know why? “ Callum weakly shook his head against Ben’s chest. “ Your too good, loads of people love ya, you are easily likeable so you’ll end up with loads of people ‘round cha.” 

“ I don’t want to die alone Ben. “ Callum actually sounded scared. Ben bit inside his cheek and rubbed Callum’s shoulders relaxing him. 

“ Why would you die alone? “ 

A pause. “ I - I don’t know. “ 

“ Then you’ve got nothing to worry ‘bout? You have me and lex and all me lot then the Carter’s. Even if we did break up, I’ll still support ya - won’t be cold with yew. “ 

Callum sighed through a hiccup. “ I’m just - it’s just hit me that’s all. “ Ben hugged him tighter and pressed a kiss to his scalp. 

“ Don’t mean you ain’t entitled to feel sad Cal. “ 

“ I know. “ Callum murmured, consciously stroking Ben’s warm arm. “ You want to really help? “ 

Ben hummed, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend’s mischievous tone. “ what? “ 

“ Ben & Jerries cookie dough ice cream. “ 

Ben huffed lightly. “ With some fruits with it too. “ 

“ hmm only for you. “ Ben defeated knowing what to do by now. He pressed one final kiss to Callum’s lips and heaved himself off the bed. He came back 7 minutes later with two spoons and Callum’s favourite fruits. 

“ ‘ere you go baby. “ Ben murmured, straddling Callum’s upper thighs and feeding him one spoonful of ice cream. 

“ love you. “ Callum stroked Ben’s love handle and kissed him on the cheek. 

The glint in his eye brightened.   
“ I love you too babe. “ he licked the ice cream off the spoon. “ more than ice cream. “ he added with a grin. 

Callum laughed, a little belly laugh, making Ben smile more.   
“ More than ice cream?! “ 

“ err yeh? Not amount of ice creams can fulfil my love for you. “ 

“ You’d melt! “ 

Ben snorted at his boyfriend’s 8year old logic. “ yes cal, I’d melt. “ 

“ We should do something tomorrow. “ 

“ like what babe? “ 

“ I dunno “ he later shrugged sillily. “ us two and lex - a day trip out? I just -“ his gaze avoids Ben’s swollen love sick eyes and down to his half melted Ben & Jarries. “ I want to spend time with family you know? You never know when any of ya could die and I want to build memories. “ 

Ben blinked. It’s true, however much he wants to be in denial about the prospect of losing this family. He doesn’t want to have lack of memories, experiences or the loss of opportunities just because he didn’t feel like it. Acting like they’ve got forever. 

Like him and Paul till it was ripped away. 

“ I’ll love that - Lex would do. “ 

“ We should go to central London? “ 

“ Well you’ve already seen the crown jewls havent yew? “ Ben spoke dirtily. 

Callum flushed pink and couldn’t help the smile on his face. “ cheeky you are Ben Mitchell. “ 

“ what? “ plays innocent. “ I’m only stating the obvious! “ 

Callum scoffed, not verbally saying anything and going for another kiss.   
“ You feeling okay now? “ Ben repeated the question for what felt like the millionth time. 

Callum shrugged, he doesn’t know. Their little bubble of happiness short lived and he has reverted back to - meh.   
“ Emotional sex might ‘elp. “ 

Ben choked on his ice cream. “ emotional sex? “ his mouth formed an ‘ o ‘ shape. 

Callum nodded, taking their spoons and carton on the bedside table. He pulled himself up and started slowly kissing his boyfriend. 

“ I want long - passionate sex with you. I want to feel every inch of you on me and in me. “ 

Bens neck arched backwards in a deep moan. “ babe -“ he protested. 

“ I want you to make me feel better -“ 

As much as ben wanted him - he didn’t want Callum thinking with his cock and not his head. “ Callum are you sure - I don’t -“ 

Callum pulled away, he glared deep in Ben’s dark blue eyes and Ben saw it, the emotions. “ I want - I want to forget for a bit. I just - I just want my boyfriend- I just want to feel physically closer to you -“ Callum rambled on. “ I don’t know how to describe-“ 

Ben huffed a small smile and placed his hand onto Callum’s chest, kissing him wetly on the lips then teasingly pulling away. 

“ only if you’re sure? “ 

Callum pushed his body further into Ben’s heatedly. “ I want you. I need you. “ 

“ then you’ll have me. “ Ben bit down the lump of arousal by hearing those words slipping out of Highways mouth. It was blissful. 

Emotionally connected yet physically intertwined. Like a jigsaw piece they fit together and emotional sex always makes Callum feel whole again. Loved. Remembered. Safe.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #49- After Callum was involved in a terrible bomb explosion he is severely injured. He is in incredible pain and struggles to move, yet breathe. One of Callum’s cooking pals takes pity on him and offers him illegal drugs to help his friend, but will Callum accept the drugs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The explosion is not shown and Callum’s injuries are mentioned but not graphic.

Callum flopped down onto the bottom bunker and let out a humungous sigh. He was in tremendous pain, the bomb had really blasted the force into Callum and now he was suffering physical yet mentally too. 

Callum remembers what happened like it was yesterday. It has been 4 weeks ago now but every one is on the look out, all the soldiers and civilians are looking over their shoulders constantly. 

“ Mate, I tell ya - just accept the ‘elp yeh? “ One of the cookers said slightly annoyed at his work mates half swollen and cut face.

Callum shook his head and slowly lay on his bruised and disgustingly blistered back. He sensed his friend sitting next to him and tensed feeling the presence next to his badly broken leg. 

“ I ain’t havin drugs. “ 

“ They’re ‘armless! “ 

Callum coughed in frustration and become his flustered self. Callum held onto his broken rips and thought of Ben. He would be ashamed if he found out Callum was taking drugs. Lexi wouldn’t think Callum was angel daddy anymore too. 

“ I can’t - they’re illegal. “ 

“ yeh? And? “ The cooker shuffled closer to Callum and stroked his hand along Callum’s broken, burnt arm. “ I hate seein yew like this. “ 

Callum was slowly losing fight.   
“ Ben would be ashamed -“ 

“ He wouldn’t - he knows you need it. Do you want to be in pain forever? “ His mate used coercive control on naive Callum. Who shook his head timidly and his work colleague smiled sweetly passing him a cigarette. 

“ ‘ave this when you are in pain. When you can barley move Yeh? “ he instructed. “ I’ve got more but you gotta do - “ he tilted his head to the side, playing ‘ thinking.’ “ - do some jobs yeh?” 

Callum frowned at him, playing with the ciggi between his fingers. “ what sort of jobs? “ 

The dark haired man shrugged. “ Money dealings , any sort of dealings - don’t worry cal. Just do what I ask yeh? “ 

Callum didn’t respond, taking in the detail of the cigarette. He has smoked before but never drugs. He feels guilty. 

“ and this will definitely ‘elp Yeh?” 

“ You’ll be on cloud nine. “ 

“ ..right..” 

“ take it now and go to sleep. “ The man patted Callum’s collarbone ( becos Highway’s left shoulder is burnt ). “ our secret. “ he winked and swiftly left Callum’s bunker in peace. 

Callum watches him go and sighs again. What does he do? He is in pain, no words in the English dictionary describe this pain. The prescription pills don’t do shit. Maybe - maybe this is the only solution?   
But Ben will be ashamed of him. But if Callum doesn’t tell him, it won’t hurt him will it? And when Callum is better, when he feels himself again. He’ll stop taking the drug. 

He’ll stop. It’d be easy. 

-  
8, long, months later. 

Ben’s face brightened up into thousands of city owl flies. “Callum! “ he ran to his boyfriend and squeezed the life out of him in a bear hug. He kissed the side of Callum’s neck and pulled away, burrowing his eyebrows together. “ you look - drained. “ he said completely concerned for Callum’s Health. 

Callum cleared his throat, noting all the prying eyes glaring into them. The sun blaring down at him, like a microscope and he is the investigation. 

“ I’m- I’m just tired. “ Did he really sound like that? His once clear, soft voice replaced with a deep roughness and awkwardness. 

“ just tired? You look dead! Look how pale you are! “ Ben cupped Callum’s scruffy jaw and wanted to cry. It dawned on the Mitchell lad that they are sitting standing opposite the The Square Garden. He started helping Callum walk to the beales house. 

“ What is that smell? “ Ben sniffed Callum’s clothes in concentration before he looked murderous. “ that better not be what I’m thinking it is. “ 

Callum stayed silent. Ben has sussed him out hasn’t he? 

“ We’re gunna have a serious chat when we get home and you can tell me every thing. “ Ben’s grip tightened on Callum’s arm. 

-

Ben silently put down the mug of black coffee on the table in front of Callum. Who daren’t to say anything to Ben, because tense silent treatment was too much. 

It felt too much like the cold nights in that bunker and every drug - it helped. 

“ Why you taken drugs for? “ Ben bluntly asked him, folding his arms on his arms as he leans forward, with his eyes narrowing in anger. 

‘ don’t tell anybody - not even yew boyfriend. ‘ 

“ ...I’m not -“ 

“ BULLSHIT! “ Ben yelled making Callum jump, a flash back of his captain screaming in raged. “ Do not lie to me Callum! You was in the army for 1 fucking year and you still ain’t a good fucking lier! “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ Callum cried, his body shaking from distress and for his next fix. Ben sighed and rolled his eyes at him. He moved over to the couch and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s back. 

“ talk to me Cal - I just want to know why. “ 

“ I needed - I’m in so much pain Ben. “ 

“ But the doctors- they gave yew pills, bloody strong ones. “ Ben tried to understand. 

“ And they weren’t enough. “ Callum helplessly said. “ I needed to do so much and I couldn’t - I couldn’t move. I was just in so much pain and one of the lads - they took pity on me.” 

“ took advantage more like. “ Ben muttered angrily. 

Callum frowned quickly. “ He wouldn’t -“ 

“ he would babe. Someone naive like you? In pain and legal drugs ain’t workin? Of course he’s gunna give them to you. To make you do jobs as well. “ 

“ how do -“ 

“ because I’m a criminal remember? “ 

Callum sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead harshly. “ I’ve been so stupid. “ 

“ not gonna comment on that. “ 

“ I’m so so sorry Ben. “ Callum burst into heart wrenching sobs against Ben’s chest. “ I just wanted to get rid of the pain! “ he screeched, angry at himself. He tried hitting his damaged leg only to have Ben wrestling him to not hurt himself. 

“ Babe, we can take you to the doctors yeh? We can make you better again. “ 

“ I won’t ever be the same Ben! I’m broken! “ Callum became more distressed, crying hysterically into Ben’s damp purple jumper. “ I hate how I’ve become like this! “ 

Ben rested his chin on the top of Callum’s head and pressed a kiss on his hair. “ You needed help. That’s it Cal - you needed help and just found the wrong way of doing it. “ 

“ I want to stop -“ he gasped loudly trying to calm down. “ I can’t though- I’m a failure dad was always fucking right! “ 

“ You ain’t a failure. You’ve been in the army! You ain’t a failure in my eyes - lexis - Lola’s -“ 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

“ Stop apologising. “ 

“ maybe I should’ve died -“ 

Ben growled yanking away and taking Callum’s face to look at him harshly. “ Don’t you ever ever say that again. I don’t want to hear those words from you again, do you hear me? “ Ben gripped Callum’s jaw harder when he tried to move out of Ben’s hold. 

“ It’s true. “ Callum choked out, letting Ben wipe away his crystal tears. 

Ben shook his head, holding back his own tears. “ It isn’t and I’ll show you every day how much I love you, how much you are needed ‘ere. “

Callum didn’t respond. He collapsed against Ben and gripped onto his jumper for comfort. The pain in his chest unbelievable. 

He just wants to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for mistakes autocorrect is terrible 
> 
> I know this isn’t in Callum’s character to take drugs but it is AU. However, he did shoot mick so anything is possible. My lame attempt at a joke, sorry. 
> 
> But I do hope you like this at least? 
> 
> ( thank you for all the continuing support when I do post fics/chapters !! )


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #50 - A little insight into Callum’s memories and mood when Ballum split up 
> 
> Tw - Mentions of child abuse but nothing graphic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally posted this as a fic on the Eastenders page, but it flopped and I decided to post it on this set of fics. 
> 
> Harry is a made up character for the sequence of this plot

Callum has always hated Christmas since he was 5 years old. He always got a present in return for a beating from his dad, always got verbal abuse from his mum and of course his dad. 

Christmas was forever wrecked. When Callum left for the army he spent the holiday season cooking for all the soldiers and cookers and the working people. It become the normal, usual day basically. Till, till Ben came along. 

Ben bloody Mitchell changed everything. 

Ben made Callum love Christmas again. He made Callum want to buy Christmas presents and eat food and just enjoy the festive season.   
To never be alone like he used to be when he was 5 again. 

Only. Only Ben had, Ben made Callum feel the lowest of the low, like how Jonno made him feel when Callum walked away from home to go to the army. 

And now history has slightly changed itself. Callum now older, deeply in love and going on the train leaving his home and heart with Ben. 

He never thought Ben could do this to him. He never thought Ben would be so heartless and careless to dump him days before Christmas, to act so cold and throw him to the side of the curb like he is just rubbish.   
But suppose that’s what Callum is ain’t it? Rubbish. Jonno and his mum never cared much about him, their beatings and verbal abuse showed as much. Stuart tried protecting him but Callum knows Stuart had too, he was his brother after all. Maybe Callum deserves to be on his own. Maybe he is just meant to be on his own, to not feel love because- he’s Jonno’s son. 

He needs to be punished. 

-

Late December came and went. Early January too. Booze helped, cigarettes and food and sleeping on a empty bed with your mate was just - exposing how fucking lonely Callum feels. 

Callum groans in hatred at his iPhone ringing into his stone soul. Happy Callum isn’t here today, he got left behind in 2019. 

A voicemail from his brother. 

‘ Cal - Callum hi, erm, please just come home. I - miss ya and - Shut up Raine , i ain’t tellin’ him that! - and I want to see me brov. I’m worried and yeh - please come back? Love you. ‘ 

Callum sighed heavily. Stuart must be serious if he is saying he loves Callum. Callum heaves himself out of the bed and makes his way into the freezing cold kitchen. 

“ alright mate? “ Harry questioned without turning as he stirred the black coffee. 

“ hmm. “ 

“ still grumpy I take it Cal? “ Harry quizzed with a grin passing his mate the coffee. He leaned against the black kitchen counter as Callum drank his coffee sitting down on the stool. 

“ Not at all mate. “ 

“ You know I hate it when your a grumpy twat. “ He continued. “ I’m used to you being a happy dorky prick. “ 

“ Thanks Harry. “ Callum grumbled even more. 

“ You know, if you frown even more - I think I’ll be able to stick a two pence in your forehead lines. “ 

“ You are gunna wear me coffee in a minute if you carry on. “ 

“ but cal, you are being a miserable bastard. Surly that Ben ain’t that worth it? If he’s made you feel this shit. “ 

“ Ben is just protecting me. “ Callum repeated, feeling like the millionth time he’s said that one sentence. 

Harry frowned, nearly laughing. “ from what? His bald headed serial grumpy frier dad? “ 

“ Ben just wants the approval. “ Callum yet again defended him, even now, when Ben has broken his heart. He still has his (ex) boyfriend’s back. 

“ Why? “ 

“ Personal reasons. “ 

Harry huffed. “ Callum he is choosing his dad over his supposed boyfriend. Do you really want that? To be second best? You wasn’t even thought of by your parents, do you really want that life again? To be never thought of? “ 

Callum stayed quiet. Harry patted his shoulder knowing the answer by his mates depressed face. 

-

Anxiety took over Callum’s body when he walked to the funeral parlour. He hasn’t been in Walford for 3 weeks now and he hasn’t heard a word from Ben, a few texts from Jay, Stuart of course and Lola one. 

What a way to make a man feel wanted ay? 

“ mate! “ Jay explained joyfully hugging Highway and patting him on the back. “ Where ‘ave you been? “ 

“ To a mates. “ He replies nonchalantly. 

“ Ben told me -“ 

“ Don’t wanna talk ‘bout it. “ 

“ - he’s - he’s missin you. “ 

Fuck that. “ He’s missing me? He don’t have the right to miss me Jay! He broke things off with me!! “ 

Jay raised his eyebrows at Callum’s raised voice. “ Alright calm down. “ Callum shot him an annoyed look and walked further into the building to his desk. 

“ Phil has found out Keanu and Sharon have been shagging in secret. “ 

“ ...that’s it? “ Callum bluntly stated. “ Ben was protecting me from that? An affair? “ 

To be fair to jay, he didn’t have a clue. Ben barely told him anything when Jay finally got to Ben’s sad mood. “ I don’t know mate, that’s what you need to ask Ben yourself. “ 

Callum huffed out a pissed off laugh. They both turn to the footsteps and Ben’s whole face lights up in relief when he sees Callum. 

“ You’re back! “ 

“ Seems it, unless it’s a copy of me. “ Callum shot back coldly. 

Ben bit inside his cheek hating the distance between them both. “ How - How long you been back? “ 

Callum slowly looked at his watch and back up at Ben with a blank expression. “ 20 minutes. “ 

Jay swiftly left the room, not wanting to be present in the tense room. 

“ I - missed you lex too. “ 

“ I missed her too. How is she? “ Callum genuinely interested about Lexis well fair, he cares about that little girl, more than he’ll like to admit. 

He nods slowly, only Callum can make him this nervous. “ Good, dead chuffed about her presents. Thanks by the way - for her unicorn play seat. She adored it. “ he grinned softly. 

Callum forced a smile through his pain of missing her delight.   
“ I’m glad. “ 

Awkward silence broke in and Ben shuffled on his feet before looking back up at him. “ T-thanks for the wallet. “ 

“ it’s alright. “ 

“ C-Cal -“ 

“ Is that it? “ Callum cut in.

“ what do-“ 

“ well I’m busy ain’t I? Had 3 weeks off and I can’t waste me time on pointless conversations.” 

“ Our conversations ain’t pointless. “ Ben needed to say, exposing his vulnerability. 

“ I’ll let you decide that ay? “ 

“ brovva! “ Stuart grinned, from ear to ear rushing around Ben and hugging the life out of him.   
“ Your back! “ 

“ I am Stu! “ Callum grinned, sitting back down not taking a glance at Ben who’s standing observing with a broken look. 

“ What does he want? “ Stuart aimed at Ben. “ You want a discount on a Funeral? Or you booking it yourself? “ 

Ben ignored him. He kept on searching Callum’s face for anything, trying to identify some kind of emotion but it’s like the face of rock. Ben’s done that to him. 

“ I’ll - I’ll guess be going then. “ 

“ bye. “ Stuart pointedly said, Ben left, carrying on hearing the two brothers talk. 

Ben wants his Callum back. 

-

“ you got to be fucking kidding me. “ Ben gritted out, tightening his grip on his larger. 

“ what? “ jay frowned, following his brother’s gaze to the two men at the table in the far right of the E20. 

Callum and a man, drinking and laughing. 

“ well what did you expect Ben? Callum to become a monk? He’s single now. “ 

“ he’s mine. “ Ben dragged out the words darkly. The anger and possession swirling around in the bottom of his stomach traveling up and up till he wants to be sick. 

“ No he ain’t no more. “ 

Ben slammed his glass down, ready to bolt over there when the prick stroked his Callum’s thigh. “ Ben leave it out yeh? He’s allowed to go on dates. “ 

Ben snapped jays hand off him and turning to him like a bull seeing red. “ He is mine jay! Mine! I ain’t lettin’ no man see my Callum! “ 

“ but you ended things? Why do you want to control his love life for? “ 

“ BECAUSE I WANT HIM BACK JAY! “ 

“ You What? “

Ben and jay turned to Callum standing there starring at them, especially Ben, with a confused look on. A mixture of emotions. 

“ Callum -“ Ben reached out to touch him but Callum moved too fast. 

“ you’re too late Ben. “ 

Ben whimpered. “ no I ain’t. “ 

“ You are too late Ben. “ Callum dragged out each word with hostilely and walked back to his table and before Ben knows it. Callum and his ‘date’ are walking out together. Ben runs into the toilets crying hysterically. 

He’s lost him. He’s fucked up the only chance of happiness and it weren’t even worth helping his dad anyway. 

\-   
Callum laid in his back alone in the darkness rewatching videos of Ben laughing and being stupid. Them both kissing, bantering and just - pure videos of a time when they were both happy. 

Callum won’t ever get that feeling again. He’s accepted it now, he will live and die alone forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last nights episode ( 25/12/19) was amazing! Steve ( Phil Mitchell) was amazing, he made Phil Have a heart when he was arguing with Sharon. I actually felt sorry for Phil, till he threw a pregnant woman ( Sharon ) on the ground. The argument was so intense and very well acted. 
> 
> And then Danny Dyer! God, he was incredible. He performed the panic attack to such standard it felt very real. He even made Mick look so ill and vulnerable when he was laying in Micks and Linda’s bed too. 
> 
> Then the spoiler about Ben opening Callum’s present. I thought that was a waste, he just opened it, looked sad&guilty and moved on. But maybe in the New Years flashback episode, it might be shown but I don’t think it will. I think it’s too insignificant to show Ben’s opening the wallet properly. 
> 
> I just want Callum Highway back and I want him to have a really good storyline. Callum deserves to be looked into more and Tony deserves more recognition becos, I feel he’s ‘hidden’ away more.. I always see loads of ppl talking about how good max is ( and god he is a good actor ) but I hardly see anything Callum/tony related. It feels like he is just pushed to the side.   
But that may also be because I don’t follow enough people on Twitter? I do see a hell a lot more Ben/max tweets/articles etc than Callum/Tony.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #51 - sequel to the last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went off the rails with this one. I wanted to write Callum with the date but then - it didn’t happen 😂 
> 
> ( but I might do a bonus chapter and write about cal & Simon? But it probably won’t be worth it? )

Ben woke up slowly, letting his head fill in the agonising pain he is currently experiencing. What happened last night is a blur, he remembers blurting out he wants Callum back, then running into the public toilets and the rest is blank. 

Not at all lost his dignity. 

“ Lexi!! Get ready for school! “ 

Ben groans at the shouting from Lola. He suspects he is hungover and honestly he doesn’t give a toss. Calum was out on a date with a bloke, Callum is experiencing new men and Ben will lose him forever now. 

“ Lexi you better be dressed for school or swear to god! “ 

“ I’m coming!! “ Lexi screeched 

“ wheres ya bloody fa-ther?! “ 

Ben grimaced. 

“ I think daddies still asleep! “ 

“ Lazy. “ Ben heard Lola’s comment. Isn’t he not allowed to be lazy? He has just found out his (ex) boyfriend is out on a date last night. Who probably shagged and now some poncey prick has seen his Callum’s body and the outstanding noises he makes in bed. 

Ben hurls over the side of the bed being sick. Think that says a lot doesn’t it? 

-

“ One fabulous cup of coffee! “ Stuart placed the milky coffee opposite Callum with a massive grin. “ for one amazing brova! “ 

Callum took a swig and grimaced. “ it tastes like your personality. Shit. “ 

Stuart’s face fell. “ Come on brov, don’t be like that. “ 

“ Ben does it better. “ 

“ and he also makes peoples hearts break too. “ 

Callum huffed a long breath, rubbing his forehead. “ I need a fag. “ 

Stuart frowned, lips forming in a straight line with a curl of a frown. “ when did you start smoking? “ 

Callum popped the fag in his mouth and zipped up his nike coat. “ Back in the army, stopped when I left and gone back into it again. “ he answered whilst fetching his lighter and phone. “ don’t wait up. “ and he left. 

Raine came walking in, hips to the sides and slid her hands around Stuart’s large waist. “ What’s up with him? “ 

“ Ben Mitchell. That’s what. “ 

“ didn’t his date not work out? “ 

“ I don’t know. “ Stuart struggled to answer, too preoccupied with concern. 

“ I’ll ring Simon, see what happened. “ Raine decided on her own. “ He probably didn’t have a big enough package for Halfway. “ she laughed dirtily at her own nude joke. 

Stuart groaned in disgust. “ I don’t wanna know ‘bout my brovas - interests thanks. “ 

Raine rolled her eyes and slapped her boyfriend’s chest, the thud echoing the room. “ I was only joking! You grumpy grizzly bear! “ 

-

“ Had a nice sleep did you? “ Lola popped the ‘p’ with a plop as she stood over the other half asleep Mitchell. 

“ hmm. “ “ ow! “ Ben rubbed the side of his stinging thigh where Lola smacked him one. 

“ You moping about! You nearly missing the school trip and I had to take her! “ 

“ well lexs at school now ain’t she? “ he said unfazed. 

“ that’s not the point. “ 

Ben tiredly turned to her and his eyes glared into hers. “ What is the point then Lola? “ 

“ the point is , you need to stop moping about Ben! You ended things, you’re the one who got bored of him. “ Lola hissed and soon regretted the words as they came flying out of her mouth. Ben jumped up and squared up to her seething with angst. 

“ I did not get bored of Callum. “ he said sternly. “ I was protecting him. “ 

“ from what? “ Lola asked in a softer tone. 

“ me. “ 

Lola’s eyes turned depressed and she sighed softly. “ oh Ben-“ 

“ I don’t wanna ‘ear it no more. “ Ben pushed past her and stormed through into the direction of the front door. 

“ where you goin?! “ 

“ out. “ 

-

“ Who knew saint Callum smokes? “ Ben flounced around the hedge with his cheeky grin and placing himself down next to Highway on the bench. 

“ What do you want? “ Callum bluntly asked the other man, taking a long drag and puffing out the smoke. 

“ You. “ 

“ Tough. “ 

Ben sighed. “ I’m sorry cal. “ 

“ For which bit? “ Callum leant back on the back of the bench and let his legs spread out. Ben tried to keep his gaze up and not at Callum’s thick thighs. 

“ For breaking up with you. “ 

Callum didn’t respond for a short while, taking one last puff and throwing the cigarette on the wet ground. He squished it till it became practically nothing. 

“And not for the humiliation? Breaking up with me days before Christmas? For not lying to me face?

“ I was protecting you Cal! “ 

“ I know you Ben! I know you are fucking protecting me from you, I know you think you are keepin me safe from your criminal acts and your family demands and what shit! But you are just wrecking every chance of happiness you are gunna get. “ 

“ I can’t ruin you Callum. “ 

“ And What if you have already ruined me? “ 

Ben looked more tearful. 

“ You have already ruined me Ben, you have already ripped into me heart and now I’ve fallen for you. I love you, like or not, I do. You broke me, you. “ 

“ I didn’t - “ Ben sniffled. “ - I didn’t mean to ruin you Callum.” 

Callum wrapped his arm around Ben’s shoulders not helping but to feel sorry for him. “ You are lovable Ben. Yeh you have done crime, been to prison and a right prick sometimes -“ Ben huffed a small laugh. “ - but I love that. I love a baddy. I don’t want some saint who thinks they are God’s bloody gift! I would end up killing them me selves! “ 

“ No you wouldn’t. “ Ben protested in a fragile voice, snuggling into Callum’s chest. 

“ Nah, I probably wouldn’t. “ Callum agreed sweetly. “ But you really want me to be honest? “ 

Ben nodded his head apprehensively. 

“ I can’t be with someone who keeps trying to control me, trying to wrap me up in cotton wool and always thinks for me. Even if their heart is in the right place. “ 

“ I ain’t controlling you. “ Ben disagreed, hurt. 

“ It feels it. “ Callum admitted.   
“ I know you are protecting me and you don’t want me ‘ruined’ but I can’t live a life where I’m always scared. Of you breaking up with me if you panic about something or you have done something wrong. “ 

Ben let the few tears roll down his cheeks. This is the end, he already feels the distance between them. 

“ I love you Ben Mitchell. I will love you double times as much to show you, you are worth it. “ Callum squeezed them together tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of Ben’s head. “ and I’ll wait for ya. When you are ready, I’ll be there. “ 

“ but I am - I’ve always wanted you Callum. “ Ben pulled away quickly looking at his face. 

“ I don’t think you do. I think you are just scared of losing me and you feel like this is the only chance of love you’ll get. “ 

“ I need - I need you Callum - don’t do this -! “ 

Callum clasped both of Ben’s hands into his own and held them tight. Both men looking deep in each other’s eyes and not losing eye contact. 

“ when you are ready, come back to me. I will always be waiting for you Ben, you have wrecked every bloke for me, you are the only man I want and ever need.” 

Ben choked on a sob. He may be acting dramatic, crying opposite his lover in the spitting rain on a bench in the middle of the square. But he is too overwhelmed, Callum telling him he’ll give him a second chance and how Callum is showing how deep in love he is with him. How could Ben ever doubted or wanted to jeopardise this rare breed of love? 

“ Don’t let go of me Cal. “ Ben leapt into Callum’s embrace crying into his chest. “ Please please - wait for me. I’ll get better , I’ll be the man you deserve to be. I’m-mean it! “ 

“ I don’t want you to change Ben. “ his words muffled in Ben’s hair. 

“ I want too. I don’t want to be like this no more. “ 

“ I’ll support you , like you supported me. “ 

Ben breathed out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Hope. There is hope for them, for him for their family. 

-

6 months later! 

Ben went up on his tip toes and pressed a pressured kiss to Callum’s lips, smiling into the kiss. “ Remember last year, when you was in denial ‘bout your sexuality? “ Ben reminisced past events. Callum hummed, not following Where Ben is going with this. “ and a year later you are going to pride, with a man and are genuinely proud to be gay? “ ben stroked the trail of Callum’s back. “ well I’m proud of ya. Like - really , really proud to call you me boyfriend.” Ben smiled, nearly giggling with love. Callum blushed, pecking him on the lips. 

“ You helped me ‘ere too you know. “

“ but it’s mainly down to you Cal. we’ve had our ups and downs but - it shows how strong we are, how our bond won’t ever be broken. “ 

“ how many brandy’s have you had? “ Callum joked, getting handfuls of Ben’s bum and letting go like its bloody play dough. 

“ hmm. Only 4. “ Ben played along. 

“ love you mr Mitchell. “ 

“ love you too mr Highway. “ 

They kissed, all mouths and moist till reluctantly pulling away. 

“ Think prides calling us. “ 

“ Better getting going then? “


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #53 - This is purely Callum & Chris in this chapter. When they were both in the army 
> 
> ( this is set when Callum didn’t come back to Walford at all - his years in the army basically when he left home ).

Chris took off his equipment for his 30minute break. It was hard work, being a soldier, but when you see your secret love sitting on his bunker reading with his back to the door. It was worth it. 

Chris crept up to his Callum and gripped onto Callum’s shoulders like a cat jumping and pressing its claws onto the object. 

“ Boo! “ 

“ Ahh- fack!! “ Callum gasped loudly, clutching his chest breathing deeply from the bloody fright. Chris howled with laughter. 

“ Your face! “ 

“ you could’ve given ma a heart attack! “ 

Chris pouted cheekily and sat down on Callum’s bunker giving him a quick kiss, knowing Callum was in the closet and didn’t want anyone knowing. But when he is with Chris? You would have never thought Callum was your typical closet gay. 

“ You okay now Cal? “ Chris asked in a serious tone. “ you wanna me to kiss it better? “ Callum flushed red and tried to hide an embarrassed smile. 

“ ...no...” 

Chris huffed a cute laugh and placed his hand on Callum’s thigh. He squeezed the flesh and kissed Callum with his eyes - the eyes reflecting nothing but love. 

“ How was your day? “ 

Callum nodded, shrugging his shoulders. “ Good. Been quiet. “ 

Chris looked in the direction of the book Callum was previously reading. “ hence the book. “ 

“ hence the book. “ Callum agreed. “ It’s about this soldier finding love on the war zone but the man he secretly loves is in the closet. “ 

Chris all but wanted to make the remark that - that book is basically them but he didn’t want Callum to feel stressed. 

“ oh yeh? “ 

“ hmm and the closet gay has feelings for the soldier and they kiss in the bunkers in the dark. “ 

‘This book is a story about us,’ Chris said to himself in his head. 

“ what else happens then? “ 

Callum shrugged again looking awkward, his cheeks still a rosy pink and looking far too cute in his little beanie. “ I don’t know - I was on the last sentence and you scared me. “ 

Chris laughed again. “ Well I’m sorry! “ 

“ You should be! “ Callum protested. “ That last chapter was dead intense and you made me squeal like a girl! “ 

“ You didn’t though! “ 

“ Well I nearly did Chris! Bet yew glad I held it in! “ 

“ And you know what else your holding in? “ Chris smirked, lowering his tone. Innocent Callum frowned. 

“ what else I’m I holding in? “ 

Chris bit back the sigh of “ good sake Callum, keep up. “ Kennedy quickly looked around the room and then outside the unit before fully closing the door shut. Chris walked back to Callum ( who was still sitting down looking confused but there was something else on his face too. Chris knew Callum had an idea of what’s to happen ). 

Chris gently pushed Callum down on the bed and straddled Callum’s waist pressing his lips against Callum’s ever so softly. 

“ You okay? “ Chris stroked his long, tanned fingers through Callum’s brunette hair. 

Callum swallowed the lump in his throat, feeling his army trousers become tighter in the crotch area. 

“ F-fine. “ His voice broke. Like when he hit puberty and was a stuttering, high pitched mess of a boy. Jonno abused him more for that, when Callum was going through the phrase of puberty. 

“ I’ve missed you - over these last few days. “ Chris murmured quietly, pressing another fragile kiss to Callum’s lips. Callum starred up at him, in those beautiful brown eyes. In his chest was fireworks and it felt so bright and wow - Callum didn’t admit it to anyone but he was falling for this man. 

It’s just - Callum’s scared of coming out. 

“ Me too - ain’t been the same without you. “ 

“ Maybe we should - get to know each other more? “ Chris hesitantly required. Callum had the look of fear ( not that he was scared of Chris, but of the concept of intimacy and sex ). 

“ H-how - people might walk in.” 

“ Then we won’t. “ Chris 100%respected Callum’s choice. “ We could always snog like teenagers then can’t we? “ he grinned. 

“ That - that sounds good. “ Callum whispered, stroking his fingertips up and down Chris’s arm and pushed his body up. To capture Chris’s lips and kissing him. 

“ How longs your break? “ Chris gasped out. 

“ 40 minutes. “ 

Lucky bastard. 

“ 20mins now. “ 

“ best hurry up then. “ Callum gained confidence out of bloody no where. 

Chris’s eyes dilated with lust and carried on kissing Callum again, messing up his brunette hair as he kept running his fingers through the locks. 

And their last 20minutes together was the best after the last few days of not seeing each other.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #54 - Set around now ( 3/1/20) but Callum has already returned. This is a mid set argument ( where Ben has already entered Callum’s flat and the conversation got more heated )

“ I was protecting you Callum! “ Ben yelled, in frustration and anger that Callum isn’t bloody getting it. 

“ but why?! “ 

“ Because I planned a fucking murder Callum! That’s why? “ Ben admitted with shame, he didn’t shout it out this time. He said it in a dull tone of defeat. 

Callum stepped back a tad and laughed. No honestly he laughed and that fucked with Ben more than he’ll like to admit. 

“ Why the fuck are you laughin’? You should be disgusted with me!! “ 

“ Ben. I was in the army yeh? You do know that? “ 

“ You was a cooker though?! “ 

“ Who said cookers can’t do a bit of murder too? “ 

“ Wha-“ 

“ There was this terrorist and they came in our base. They was ‘bout to shoot me and me mates till - till I shot them dead.” 

Ben paled. “ You - let me get this straight “ Ben firmly rubbed his forehead and placed his hand on his hip. “ - innocent Callum Highway who didn’t even get shagged by the age of 27 - murdered two people? “ 

“ Oi, just because I was Virgin Mary don’t mean I’m innocent Yeh? “ Callum defended himself. “ You ain’t the only one who has skeletons in yew closet Ben! I was in that closet for FUCKING yearrrs! And you can’t believe how suffocating that closet was with all me baggage too! “ 

“ ....listen to me yeh? Just calm your fucking tits down Callum. It ain’t a fucking competition who’s got more emotional baggage yeh? “ 

“ But Ben! You are always tryna fucking save me from shit when I’ve dealt with your similar shit in completely different life spaces!” 

“ I don’t want to wreck you Callum! “ 

Callum charged for him and gripped Ben’s coat firmly in his hands. “ I am already broken Ben! I’m already fucking wrecked and I will always be ruined. Don’t you get that? “ 

A tear slipped from Ben’s eye.   
“ Your perfect to me. “ he whispered so quietly it sounded like a breath. 

Callum shook his head sadly.   
“ Well I ain’t Ben. Both of us are broken, life experiences have broke us but that’s why we understand each other?” 

“ I’m sorry. “ Ben broke, big fat ugly tears rolling down his cheeks and onto Callum’s shirt. His arms tightly around Callum’s waist as he hysterically sobbed. 

“ All - everything has just - just piled and I - I was protecting you. “ 

Callum rubbed circles onto Ben’s back calming him down as he spoke sweet nothing into his hair. “ I know you’ve made mistakes- but you just need to let people in Ben. “ 

“ I can’t Callum! “ Ben screeched out. “ I can’t trust people - they only stab yew back in the back! “ 

“ And was I the same then? “ Callum couldn’t help but ask. Ben pulled away and saw a blurry Callum standing inches away from him. 

“ No! You was - you are trustworthy but I am - I’m just scared and I don’t - I’m scared of exposing me self. “ 

“ There’s no need to always play strong Ben. It ain’t you. “ 

“ Phil has made me - “ 

“ Phil Phil Phil - you ain’t Phil Ben. “ 

“ I want him to be proud of me. “ 

“ he won’t ever be proud. He will only be proud of you if you do bad things and what’s the point in that? Wasn’t he proud of you having a daughter? “ 

“ I think so -? “ 

Callum sighed. “ I don’t know where we go from here even. “ he said in defeat. Ben wiped away his tears, ready to start crying again hearing Callum sound so exhausted. “ I love you - but we’re too broken and I just - I can’t deal with a toxic relationship. “ 

“ we ain’t toxic -“ 

Callum gripped hold of Ben’s hands and got his full attention. “ I don’t want us to get toxic. We - we have too much baggage and I don’t want us to be unhealthy. “ 

“ please don’t - please don’t give us up. “ 

“ But Ben- you already did.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #55 - post breakup and set 3 months in the future ( they’re still separated).

“ You okay Callum? “ Stuart asked his brother, slightly confused and concerned that the flat has been cleaned top to bottom and has a very strong smell of bleach. 

“ yeh fine Stu. “ came the reply as he carried on scrubbing the already clean floor. 

Stuart entered the house fully now and bent down to his little brother’s eye level. Who wasn’t even looking at him and carried on washing the floor. 

“ ‘ave you killed somebody? “ 

“ Wha - What? “ Callum mustered out finally stopping the cleaning to look at his bald brother. “ why you sayin’ that for? “ 

“ Becos Cal - this level of cleanliness is looking like you are covering up a crime scene. “ 

Callum huffed at his brother’s over reaction and got up from his knees with his bleach and scrubber to put them both into the sink. “ I ain’t killed no one. “ 

“ What’s wrong then? “ Stu pushed for answers. 

“ Nowts wrong! “ 

“ Well there obviously is Callum - when you get stressed or struggling to cope. You get all -all-“ 

“ all what Stuart? “ Callum dared to ask him, crossing his arms over his chest. 

The bald highway cleared his throat. “ All loopy - intense cleaning the shit out of your house when it’s already clean. “ 

“ ....you came here to just annoy me? “ 

“ no I came ‘ere to see if my brovas mentally okay! “ 

“ well I’m fine! “ 

“ yeh? Well you didn’t look too fine when you was smoking and drinking at the E20 the other day! “ 

Callum looked guilty but played it off. “ Well I’m single ain’t I? I’m obliged to go out and ‘ave fun considering I’m single. “ 

“ but it ain’t you Cal. “ Stuart softly stated, he wont ever use his soft voice to anyone ( he has one with Raine but it ain’t as soft as he speaks to Callum when he’s with his girlfriend).   
Stuart has a massive soft spot for his little brother and will always protect him regardless. 

Callum shrugged his shoulders now becoming uncomfortable by the truth. He turns around and starts cleaning again, back to Stuart hiding his true feelings. 

“ Well Maybe relationships & me don’t work. Maybe I’ll always be single forever. “ 

“ and why’s that? “ 

Callum sighed heavily. “ I don’t want to talk about it. “ 

“ Callum, I know I ain’t the best talker and that I don’t understand some of what your going through but - I’ll support ya. I want you to let me in. “ 

Callum heavily dropped the cloth into the shining sink and turned around again. He leant against the counter and looked at Stuart. 

All he wanted was a quiet day in. 

“ Whitney. Ben. Chris. “ 

Stuart briefly knows about Chris but since seeing Callum too distressed to form words. He’d left it and has decided for Callum’s own peace. He will wait for Callum to tell him, but he ain’t stupid- Callum probably won’t ever tell him about Chris. 

Stuart didn’t respond for a few seconds, wanting to think before speaking to not piss ( or upset ) Callum off. 

“ But your out now Cal. You can find love again. “ 

“ I’m too damaged -“ 

“ You ain’t -“. 

“ I am Stu! I can’t - I can’t go into another relationship knowing it’s gunna go wrong. I can’t get hurt again. “ 

“ but you - will you get lonely? “ 

“ I’m always lonely. I’ve just got used to it. “ 

-

“ ahh Halfway, alright mate? “ Mick smiled at his son ( who he sees as a son ). But something about his posture was different- like he was up to something to help Callum. 

“ Yeh good Mick. “ Callum answered, tiredly. 

“ You not slept? “ 

“ I was cleaning. “ 

Mick sighed in defeat. “ Again? “ 

“ the flat is messy! “ 

“ that messy you need to scrub the tiles till they eventfully evaporate? “ 

“ Don’t be dramatic. “ 

“ Miss Marble ain’t got nowt on you has she? “ 

Callum sighed heavily, shifting on his feet getting irritated. “ All I wanted was a beer. “ 

“ you never actually asked for one. “ 

“ I ain’t having this -“ he turned to leave but Micks calls stopped him.

“ Come on lad - stay ‘ere and I’ll get what you want and I’ll leave you alone yeh? “ 

“ fine. “ It seemed a fair bet.

After Mick poured Callum’s pint and shot him an concerned look. Callum sat at the furthest booth away from the crowd, wanting to be alone. Only, life wasn’t on his side today ( or his entire life ).   
Ben spotted him and immediately grinned like a Cheshire Cat. He walked over and slid into Callum’s booth. 

“ I ain’t seen you in a while. “ 

Callum took a sip of his beer and licked the foam off his top lip nodding at Ben once. “ been busy. “ 

“ For 3 months? “ 

“ looks like it. “ 

“ I ‘eard you been intense cleaning -“ 

“ fucking hell cant catch a break me can’t I? “ Callum bitterly snapped. 

“ People are worried about you Callum - we care. “ 

“ you don’t give a shit about me.” 

“ Your wrong -“ 

Callum bashed his fist onto the table without thought making Ben jump, a few residents too and Mick popping his head over the corner to see what’s going on. 

Callum took no notice. 

“ You would’ve called over and seen me! You could’ve talked to ma but you ain’t. You don’t care and you made it crystal clear you don’t love me. “ 

“I - I do -“ 

“ Fuck off Ben - you’ve got daddy issues to catch. “ 

And then Callum left the book abruptly. Leaving Ben say frozen by how cold Callum was. What a massive mistake he’s made.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #56 - Domestic and sentimental

Callum did his usual routine. Get dressed, have fruit with porridge and a strong coffee then go to work. At 03:00 in the early morning. 

What hurt most was leaving Ben alone in their double bed. Who slept away snoring like a piglet with his cheeks a rosy pink colour and looking too beautiful for a person who was unconscious. 

Every time Callum was leaving early he would leave a post it note for when Ben woke up. Callum’s little way of non - verbal communication to make Ben feel less lonely. 

Which Callum has been doing this little sentimental thing for the past 3yrs now. Ben loves it , more than that actually, he loves the little things his husband does. Like, cook him his favourite food ( Steak & chips with a small salad beside the plate. Who knew Ben Mitchell liked salads? ) or when Callum is doing a night shift, he brought Ben a sizeable teddy with Callum’s cologne ( A strong but sweet scent Ben adored on him ) with one of Callum’s t-shirts. For Ben to snuggle with and to pretend his husband is actually sleeping next to him. 

And this shift is a long one, 14 hours with 3 30 minute breaks. In those times Callum had the opportunity to call or text Ben and that was a crystal moment of Ben’s day and was the highlight actually. 

But the pay made it worth it though. It also makes finding a Surrogate much easier too, he just has to find a way if Ben wants the same too.


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #57 - This chapter is set from last nights episode ( 14/1/20) where Ben is left heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone have any prompts?

Ben always thought Callum will love him no matter what. To support him and to secure Ben with whatever Ben has done or done. 

He thought Callum would see hope in him. But he was wrong, Callum walked away from him, without a second glance leaving Ben hysterically crying on the sofa. It felt like losing Paul all over again but the crushing pain was astonishing. 

People like Ben don’t deserve love, affection or happiness. God knows how Phil has got it. 

Ben only wanted to feel love, he wanted Phil to be proud of him, Ben wanted everyone to be safe and Ben stretched himself into so many directions he become disfigured psychologically. 

But must of all - he wanted Callum to be proud of him but even now he has wrecked that. He has made the most loving man in this universe give up hope. 

Ben goes to bed broken. He mourns the loss of love, of happiness- he will forever be alone and have to pretend - 

He’s fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben sobbing actually broke me ngl. He really felt Callum had walked out on him because Callum didn’t love him enough for all his baggage. But that’s so wrong! Callum loves Ben too much and didnt know how to handle all the information+yesterday and Monday’s situations. He felt too overwhelmed.   
Ballum are broken souls who need to desperately find each other again.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #59 - For Vicki , 1/2 prompts - Ben attempting suicide and Callum or Jay finding him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the prompts!!

He’s lost everything. Callum doesn’t love him anymore. Lexi will hate him eventually and Lola&Jay will resent him. Phil don’t see him as a son only a nonsense. 

So why is Ben still hanging around? Why is he still here?   
And he don’t mean moving away from Walford. 

Ben walks to the railway bridge and lets his legs hang over freely. The sense of freedom making him calmer. He feels closer to Paul now, up in the sky and seeing high above everyone. 

Paul would be ashamed of Ben wouldn’t he? Ben’s a murderer now, he didn’t actually do it but planned the murder and now got somebodies blood on his hands.   
Phil isn’t proud of him still bloody found fault with what Ben did. Ben can’t do anything right can he? What ever he does will forever aggravate Phil and he will inevitably be resented by his ‘ dad’. 

That’s why Ben is on the bridge. He is doing everyone a favour. No one will love a beast like him, no on like Ben will find long term happiness because he is a train wreck. People like Ben Mitchell don’t deserve life. 

“ Ben! “ 

Ben looks down squinting and sees a horrified Callum staring up at him. Callum shouldn’t be here - he should be as far away from Ben as humanly possible. 

“ Ben stay where you are! “ and then he’s gone. 

Ben ignores it. He is too tired now, he wants out. He didn’t get to decide to be born, to have this life but he gets a choice in ending his life. 

“ Ben -“ Callum is scared, sounding too calm and if you look at him. He is full of guilt and remorse. “ Ben just get down -“ 

“ why? “ 

“ Because Lexi wants to see her daddy don’t she? She wants to see her dad give her praise and love. “ 

“ I don’t deserve her. “ 

“ you do! “ 

“ I planned to kill a man Callum! “ he yelled, not caring that he’s in public. “ and it’s all for nothing! Keanu is still alive and I lose everything! “ 

“ You ain’t Ben. “ Callum steps closer to his love, he can easily touch him now but he won’t. 

Ben nods his head letting tears drop down onto his thighs. “ I have. “ Ben’s voice thick and broken. “ I lost you. Lola and Jay don’t care bout me. Lexi will eventually hate me. “ 

“ Lola and jay do care about you. “ Callum is confused. 

“ They hardly see me. They just - they just stay out of my way now - they don’t let me see Lexi no more. “ Ben sobbed. 

And then Callum realised. Both Lola and Jay have told him the reason why they’ve been distant and Callum has been trying to help but - Ben’s been pushing people away. 

“ They don’t want you stressing Ben. They love ya. “ 

“ No! “ 

Callum gripped hold of Ben’s bicep making him look at him.   
The tensions intensively high. 

“ don’t go killin yourself Ben. You have too many who love you. “ Callum told him. “ I love you - I’ve been stupid for walking out on yew that night “ mentioning when Ben hysterically cried the house down. When he confessed to helping a murder. “ But I love you! “ 

“ I don’t - I’ve hurt so many people Cal. “ 

“ we’ll sort it. You’ve got me, Lola, Jay - lex. Ben you are so loved and yeh you make mistakes but your only human. “ 

“ I’m so sorry - I’m so sorry “ Ben burst into tears cradling his head into Callum’s chest into a awkward position. Callum cradled him, pressing a kiss to the top of his skull. 

“ We’ll fix your problems. You will be better. I believe in ya. “ 

“ I can never do anything right. “ 

“ you got Lexi right - together business right, Jay loves ya and your a great brother. “ 

“ but I’ve hurt so many people Cal. I’m no good. “ 

“ Because you have Phil Mitchell as a father. “ 

Ben pulls away sniffing whilst wiping his eyes. “ you have Jonno as a dad and you ain’t nowt like me. “ 

Callum slightly shrugged. “ probably because I have a better resilience than you. “ 

“ I don’t want to be like Phil Callum. “ Ben admitted, the worst thing he can imagine. It scared him. “ but I’m worried I’m becoming him. “ 

“ You are nothing like Phil Mitchell Ben. “ Callum firmly told him. “ You show empathy, love, you protect the people you cherish. You have similarities but all I see is Kathy in yew. “ 

“ Please help me Callum. “ Ben broke, no tears came though. 

“ I’m never leaving you again. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is what you wanted Vicki and I hope all readers weren’t offended by what this fic represented?


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #60 - 2/2 prompt Bens hearing worsens 
> 
> Includes - soft, domestic and married Ballum!

Worsening hearing 

“ Ben! “ 

Nothing. 

“ Ben come ‘ere will yew! “ 

Silence. 

“ fucking hell. “ Callum muttered annoyed that he had to leave the kitchen ( making sure the gas was turned down low ) and having to go upstairs. To see where his husband bloody was.   
“ bet he’s forgotten his ‘earing aid the idiot. “ 

And there Ben was. In the bathroom, relaxing in a steamy dim lit room with bubbles covering his form. In the tub. 

Nice to know some people can relax isn’t it? No bloody responsibilities or worries affecting them init? 

“ Ben. “ Is is taking the Michael? “ Ben! “ Callum slapped his husbands wet shoulder who jumped making some of the water float down the sides of the white bath. 

“ what?! “ Ben answered equally annoyed. But because Ben’s ears feel muffled and blocked he is shouting than a loud groan. 

Callum takes his husbands attitude to no notice. He’s probably in a mood. Probably no cheesy Doritos left in the cupboard or something insignificant. 

“ I was calling ya for ages. “ 

“ yeh? I’m obviously preoccupied aint I? “ Ben answers sassily, having the audacity to lay his head back against the wet bath back. 

“ Why was you ignoring me? “ Callum continued to say. Ben is surprised how Cal isn’t looking the slightest horny with his charming husband wet and very naked in the bubbly ( and obviously scented ) water. 

Ben frowns, straining to hear him properly but just about heard Callum’s voice. 

“ why are you not taking no notice to your beautiful husband? Who’s fully exposed and dripping wet? “ 

“ Ben we’ve been married for 10 years. “ 

Ben makes a gesture - ‘ so? ‘ 

Highway Mitchell takes a calming breath. “ I’ve seen ya a trillion times by now. “ 

Ben’s ego has taken a beating.   
“ You no more attractive to me now babe? “ he pouts, deliberately making the sad face that makes Callum guilty. 

Callum’s face softens and walks to the side of the bath. He crouched down to Ben’s face and eye levels, leaning over kissing him a kiss to the lips. 

“ I will forever be attracted to you baby. You still have that effect on me. “ Callum murmured, domestically, actually meaning every word.   
He runs his hand down Ben’s wet body, feeling the bubbles run up his arm and hand fists Ben’s harding cock. 

“ I love every bit of you Ben. Till we’re both old and grey. “ 

“ Good because I ain’t letting you lose the spark. “ Ben tells him straight, kissing him and moaning at the same time. 

“ I need to go back to the food babe. “ 

“ What is it? “ 

“ You’ll have to wait and see. “ Callum grins, pulling away and deliberately squeezing Ben’s had cock as he goes. 

Ben deeply moans wanting the pressure back. “ baby -“ 

“ Be ready in 10 minutes! “ 

But Ben didn’t hear him. 

-

10 weeks later Callum has had enough. 

“ You need your hearing checking Ben. “ 

Ben scoffs, carrying on drinking his tea and reading a car magazine. “ Nowt wrong with me hearing. “ 

Callum chuckled. “ well that’s bullshit init? You wear a hearing aid for a reason babe. “ 

Ben jabs him in the ribs. 

“ My hearing aid is working perfectly. Maybe it’s you babe, maybe you need a hearing aid. “ he says casually, whilst reading about engines and makes of cars. “ We can both relate to our deafness then. “ 

“ fuck off. “ Callum laughs breathlessly nudging him into the arm rest. 

Ben pulls away from his magazine and looks at him. “ Babe, I’m fine. “ 

Lexi then walks past the living room and decides to make her opinion known. “ Dad you are more deaf than 10 weeks ago.” 

Ben frowns. “ what? “ 

Lexi and Callum share a knowing look. 

“ Lex what did you say? Why you looking at me like that for? “ and now Ben just sounds slightly distressed. 

Lex laughs at her fathers confusion. She points to her ears and silently shouts “ deaf. “   
And then leaves. 

Callum turns to him and nods his head agreeing with what his step daughter was saying.   
“ its true. You are more deaf. “ 

“ No I’m not. “ Ben’s cheeks are redding as he slouches down the couch 6 inches. 

Callum copies the same position and wraps his arms around Ben’s waist, resting his left side of head/face on his chest. 

“ it’s okay to admit it babe. “ 

“ Fine. “ he grumbles, hating to lose his dignity. “ maybe me hearing isn’t the - best. “ 

“ never has been babe. “ 

Ben pinches Callum in the tit. 

“ AH FUCK -“ 

“ you alright dad!? “ Lexi calls down from her bedroom. 

“ yeh fine sweetheart! “ Callum calls up pretending to be fine but he’s really not because that fucking hurt.   
“ You ain’t getting any now. “ 

“ haha. Yeh I am. “ 

Callum shakes his head and Ben hates that knowing look now. Callum’s eyes glint with mischief. 

“ You won’t get any for weeks if you don’t get a doctors appointment. “ 

“ seriously! A sex ban?! “ 

“ yep. “ 

“ get me the doctors number. “ 

“ Can’t. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ they’re on holidays ain’t they? Only for emergencies. “ 

“ You prick. “ Ben growls. 

Callum laughed at Ben’s internal pain. “ that’s what you get for being stubborn. “ 

-

Callum has a day off. All work done, all children off to school.   
Husband off to the doctors for his declining hearing. 

Speaking of husbands-

Callum hears the door open and close with a thud and he instantly knows Ben isn’t happy.   
He does hope the news isn’t completely serious and Ben’s hearing has decreased a little bit. 

“ how was it babe? “ he calls into the silence. Ben huffs and plonks himself down next to his husband on the ridiculously comfy sofa. 

Ben has his arms crossed over his chest and looks pissed off.   
“ Doc said ‘earing has gone down. “ 

“ you need surgery? “ 

Ben shakes his head. “ Just need stronger hearing aids. Apparently they’re coming in 2 weeks. “ 

Callum nods his head, not understanding why Ben isn’t happy. “ what’s wrong? “ Callum plays with the short ends of hair at the bottom right side of Ben’s neck/end of hairline. 

“ it’s just -“ he huffs. “ - it’s just another failure init? Me being half deaf and now they’ve gone down further down. They will always disorientate till I’m permanently deaf. “ he choked on the words. It shouldn’t get to him this much but - he will always be the deaf and half blind kid. 

“ ooh Ben -“ Callum’s voice levelling to gentle care. “ You’ll still be you. Even if your hearing does go eventually. “ 

“ but I don’t want that. “ Ben lets out frustrated. “ I want to ‘ear me husband talk or moan in bed. I want to hear Lexi rant about her boyfriend’s or girlfriends. I want to hear the toddlers talk and jabber on. I don’t want to sit in silence whilst everyone is talking. “ 

“ then we’ll do more research. We’ll see what we can do to help your hearing. “ 

“ but it’d be expensive! “ Ben whined, upset by the obstacle. 

Callum sighed heavily, not at Ben but because what he has been keeping a ‘ secret ‘ and a ‘surprise ‘ will be known now. 

“ I didn’t want to tell ya. “ 

Ben frowned and looked at him face full of mixed emotions.   
“ No? “ 

“ it’s nothing bad. “ he assured. Well unless Ben feels betrayed than happy. “ I’ve been - I’ve been saving up money in a savings account. In case your hearing does go worse and in case you wanted - to go privately to ‘fix’ your hearing. “ Callum confessed, hesitantly. 

“ You - How -“ 

“ 10grand. “ 

Ben looked gobsmacked. “ ten grand! “ 

“ It’s a savings account! The interest helps for the money to increase! “ 

Ben looked like he was about to cry. “ you really saved up money for me? To help with me hearing? “ 

Callum nodded his head with a small, sweet smile. “ Your me husband Ben. I’ll always look for ways to ‘elp ya. “ 

Ben started to cry and hugged the life out of him. Even after all these years, Callum is still surprising him. 

“ I really don’t deserve you. “ 

Callum held him more, whispering right in his ear and loud enough for Ben to actually hear him. 

“ you do. You always deserved love. “


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #66 - Ben being unwell and getting diagnosed with cancer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ellie x

Cancer. 

He has - cancer. 

Stage 3 apparently but it can turn into advanced if he don’t have treatment. If the treatment doesn’t work he will die. He can die in a hospice if he doesn’t want treatment but it won’t progress into that at this stage. 

Apparently. 

Ben lies in the stone cold water, knees pulled up to his bare chest in a trance. Callum has been supportive regardless, Kathy too, Lola, Jay - even Ian. 

They haven’t told Lex. Ben doesn’t want her to know. He can’t stand to face the hesitant look on her young, naive looks. How she would be conscious every time she would hug her dad or how she would become stoney distant with Ben. With not being able to cope with the news, the concept of knowing her daddy will die. 

But it won’t process into that. Fucking apparently the doctor had told him. Ben wanted to scream at her, wanted to cry, wanted to run. 

He wanted to - he wanted to be healthy. He wanted a full life of being able to propose to Callum, of being a husband, being a dad, having children and dogs and have a big house and being -

Happy. 

But cancer has taken that away.   
Ben’s body has betrayed him, his cells have been damaged and died and multiplied into one big fat lump. 

“ Ben? “ Callum’s voice has never sounded so sad, and quiet. That’s what Ben hates as well. The word “ cancer “ makes people act differently around you, like you are the fucking disease and if people do an action wrong they will suffer. 

Ben wants to repeat history. If he was more kinder, more softer - maybe he wouldn’t have this cancerous condition. 

Ben doesn’t even flinch when Callum crouches down next to the bath tub touching is bicep. 

“ Baby, you want to have a lie down now? “ 

“ I have cancer. “ Ben slowly tells him, there’s a small crack on the opposite white wall. That describes his life now, he’s a crack and will carry on cracking till he breaks and dies. 

Callum swallows thickly, 3 tears run down his cheeks but this ain’t about him it’s about Ben. 

“ I know baby. “ 

“ I don’t want to die Callum. “ 

“ I don’t want you too either. “ 

“ I think it’s too late. “ 

“ It won’t.” Callum bites down on his cheek. “ You will fight, the treatment will work and you will be okay again. “ 

“ I deserve this. “ 

“ You don’t deserve cancer Ben!” He snaps. “ I’m sorry. “ 

“ don’t say sorry to the cancer man. “ 

A sigh. “ Ben. “ 

“ I’m cold. “ 

“ come on then. You love our snuggles. “ 

“ We won’t have anymore of those will we? “ 

Empty silence filled with answers. 

-

“ Are you okay daddy? “ Lexi asks him, snuggling up into his chest. Ben wraps his thin arms around his little girl and props his head on hers. He kisses her blonde hair. 

she always had Lola’s hair colour. 

“ I will be darlin “ 

“ Why did your body give you cancer daddy? “ 

Ben chokes on a sob. “ I don’t know baby. “ 

And if anyone saw Callum gasp on his own sob. No one exposed him. 

And if anyone went into Ben’s bedroom and saw Callum spooning Ben who had Lexi tucked under his head. 

They didn’t start tearing up at the prospect of Ben no longer being the middle part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can decide which cancer Ben unfortunately has and like how this chapter has been structured out.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #67 - Callum’s and Ben’s wedding ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Slytherin Princess x

Ben and Callum decided to have the wedding ceremony outside, in the hot summer to highlight their new chapter together.   
The big bright star is out in the baby blue sky as it shadows all the square residents and the nearly married couple. 

Birds chirping away with butterflies dancing around as Callum stands opposite Ben. Both men reflecting tears in their eyes, looking beautiful in the sunlight. 

“ Callum, when I first met ya - I was blown away. I was intrigued by you and with all the winding up and the messin around. I was glad. “ Ben cleared his dry throat, becoming nervous again before Callum squeezed his hand in assurance. “ Because I fell in love with you. You marked me from the first moment we met. “ 

Callum chuckled lightly.   
“ Softly.” 

All the Mitchell’s and Carters and non family related smiled at the duo. 

“ I - I’m glad we met, regardless of all the shit u thrown my way. “ Ben couldn’t help but smile. “   
“ I’m glad because I wouldn’t have met the most amazing step daughter, I wouldn’t have have this fantastic whirlwind of a life. “ 

“ that a compliment or -?” 

“ take it as a compliment. “ 

“ nice. “ 

“ I now announce you both Husband and Husband! You can now kiss! “ 

And god they do kiss. After 20 minutes of over dramatic snog and taking advantage of the opportunity to kiss in-front of the square. They reluctantly pull away. 

“ Love you. “ Ben mumbled against his now husbands lips, chest against Callum’s. 

“ I’m really stuck with you now ain’t i? “ 

“ and your not going anywhere.”   
Ben nuzzled his nose against Callum’s before officially partnering and walking down the path between two parts of individuals. 

This is their new, exciting yet terrifying chapter together.   
And they cannot wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this wasn’t what you were expecting!!


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #68 - Callum having brain ( tumour) cancer and being scared 
> 
> prompt by the lovely Robronfan94 
> 
> “ show some bits of Callum’s treatment? “ “ him on a hospital drip and Ben being proud of him whilst Callum being scared? “

It has been 2 months now since Callum’s multiple Brain Tumour diagnose. And he was ready to give up. He told Ben as much too. 

He’s been in and out of chemotherapy, after having operations to try and get rid of the tumours but - they’ve come back stronger and trickier to handle. 

Callum lies in bed feeling completely drained. He’s supposed to have a chemo session at 11:30 and it is 10:55. 

Ben comes rushing in stressed. “ Why ain’t you dressed? The appointment is in 35minutes and gunna miss it because of traffic. “ 

“ I’m not going. “ Callum muffled out, face pressed into the pillow. 

“ Don’t be stupid. Come on. “ 

“ I’m not - I ain’t havin no more. I’m done. “ 

Ben’s face falls and crouches down to his husband, wrapping his warm ones to his cold and skinny hands. 

“ you cannot give up. “ Ben begs, voice wavering. 

“ I’m tired Ben. I’m so tired and it - it ain’t even workin no more.” 

“ then we - then we try something else then? We can look at more intensive options. “ 

“ what’s the point? “ 

“ what’s the point? WHATS THE POINT? “ Ben flies off the handle, standing up. Callum has always been the strong one, always been there to support people and be the wisdom of advice. 

He’s hardly ever been the weak one. 

“ our children for a start, our marriage, your job, your friends and family! You are defeating to fucking cancer! You just gunna rot away slowly and for what? “ 

“ to stop hurting. “ 

Ben sighed heavily to himself and sat on the edge of the bed stroking Callum’s bald head. 

“ I know you hurt baby, I know - but you can’t give up on us. “ 

“ I’m tired. I’m so so tired Ben. “ Callum broke. “ I’m horribly skinny, I’m always cold, I’m aching and sleeping. I’m barely even livin! “ 

“ And when you do battle through the cancer. It’d be worth it. “ 

“ And then you will always be at risk of getting it again. “ 

“ everyone’s at risk of getting cancer babe. But you just need to be stricter. “ 

Callum sighed heavily and got up slowly. “ Come on then. “ 

Ben’s eyes lit up in hope. “ your going then? “ 

Callum shakily nodded his head.   
“ Can’t leave u behind can I? You’ll make everyone’s life a nightmare won’t ya? “ 

Ben tearfully eyed smiled. He cupped his husbands sharp jaw and pressed a kiss to his sunken cheek. 

“ That’s my boy. “ 

“ Cringe. “ 

“ I’m proud of you. Everyone is.” 

Callum didn’t speak, just nodded his head and slowly got up from the double bed. “ Go and get things ready then babe.” 

“ I love you. “ Ben wrapped his arms around Callum’s small waist and kissed him on the lips before pulling away. “ Be ready in 5. “ and then he was gone. 

Callum sighed heavily looking at the empty room. Their bedroom filled with pictures of their kids, them, family, dogs. 

Their home. 

Callum can’t miss seeing their family expand if he gives up can he? 

-

“ good afternoon sleepy head. “   
Callum groans again and blinks multiple of times before coming aware of his surroundings. 

“ S’what time is it? “ Callum croaks out, still half asleep. Ben puts his arm back onto the pillow on the arm rest. 

“ half 1 babe. “ Ben answers, stroking his thumb on the grey skin of Callum’s hand. 

“ Has it finished now? “ he looks around the chemo room and it only has a few patients having their medications and that’s it. 

Also when he realises his drip isn’t into his arm anymore. 

“Yeh. The nurses wanted to leave you for a while, you were in a deep sleep. “ 

“ i was tired. “ Callum murmured. 

“ I know babe. “ Ben smiled. “ You ready to go? “ 

Before he had chance to speak he was violently sick, Ben managed to get a bucket and Callum continued to be sick in that.   
Ben firmly rubbed his ill husband’s back trying not to break down but it was so hard not too. He loathed seeing him like this, weak and disgustingly skinny. Callum was practically grey and struggled to walk whilst getting tired far too quickly. 

“ Mr Highway Mitchell, are you feeling better now? “ A male nurse asked the man. 

“ Do you want some water? “ Another nurse, female, asked Callum. Ben bit his lip to not snap. Why can’t they just give his husband some space for a second? 

“ W-water please. “ Callum gagged into the bucket.   
“ this is why I want to give up sometimes. “ Highway directed at his husband. Ben flinched slightly, not knowing what to say. 

He’s scared of Callum dying and he won’t have a say either way. How does a man hold onto something so special when it’s wasting away? 

-

Ben has been the bigger spoon as of yet and tonight is no different. He has his small ish limbs wrapped around Callum’s body. He soon discovered doing this position ( legs over Callum’s long legs and arms wrapped around waist/chest ) keeps Callum warm and more secure. 

Ben slowly kisses the back of Callum shoulders and neck whilst rubbing his husbands chest keeping him warm. 

“ You okay now baby? “ 

“ will be. “ 

“ Ain’t convinced ‘ere babe. “ 

“ When will I ever be better? “ Callum asked, snuggling back into his husband. 

‘ don’t make promises u can’t keep Ben! ‘ 

“ When we carry on with treatment. “ 

“ I can’t keep going on like this.” 

“ I know. “ Ben whispered against Callum’s skin. 

“ I made the will doc-“ 

“ Don’t you dare - don’t even mention it Callum! “ he hissed hurt. 

“ But we need to face facts. “ 

“ You are going to be fine. “ 

“ it will only hurt you more when I die. “ 

“ And you don’t think I ain’t hurting now? Seeing you like this? “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ Callum apologised, taking a painful amount of time to roll around to face his husband. 

Ben brushed his fingers across Callum’s face and side of his exposed ribs. “ You will be okay.” 

“ I hate doing this to you. “ 

“ ain’t like your doing it maliciously. “ 

“ no but - you always wanted excitement and -“ 

“ -and I always will be protective of you and don’t even think I want out of this marriage. “ Ben cut him off sternly. “ I love you Callum. When I made that vow to you I meant it, through sickness and health. I will be there if you like it or not. “ 

Callum felt so overwhelmed. He scramble closer to him and nestled himself in Ben’s soft chest. “ love you. “ 

“ love you too. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is what you wanted Robronfan94 ?!


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #69 - Both of the boys need to go to the opticians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Molly x

Nobody expected Callum and Ben to be long term, nobody expected them to last more than 3yrs.   
But for them to last 50yrs and continuing? 

Mind blown. 

They are the super couple, they are in sync together and have grown old together. They have 6 adult children, loads of grandchildren, more pets and million upon millions of memories. 

And because the old couple are so in sync with each other? Their eyes have gone to shit. ( Ben’s more so but not dangerously worse ). 

The optician stated they needed glasses but because of their ego sized personalities ( Callum not soo much but he didn’t typically like the concept of specs). They didn’t want them but after a firm comment from the glasses person, they agreed and off they trotted into their car with their new glasses. 

“ you still look sexy babe. “ Ben smirked, his wrinkles crinkling a bit more. He brushed his fingers on his husbands face and touching the black frame. 

“ Likewise. “ Callum kissed Ben’s hand. “ Love you dear. “ he joked. 

“ love you too babe. “ Ben smiled intimately. “ if we weren’t so old - I would’ve pounced on you by now. “ 

“ Well nothing is stopping us when we get home is it? “ 

“ Naughty Sir! “ Ben camply smacked Callum’s arm. 

“ Come on then babe - we have long, old aged sex to do. “

“ and have our glasses mist up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is what you wanted?


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #70 - Food kink ( but it is more domestic with some half feeding involved). 
> 
> Prompt 1/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Robronfan94 xx

“ Babe. “ Ben called for his babe from the living room sofa, where he sat watching telly, topless and very pregnant bump on full display. 

“ Wh’at. “ Callum called out from their bedroom. 

“ can yew feed me strawberries and fruits again?! “ 

“ no! “ 

Ben choked on an offended noise. “ Err why? I’m the father of your kids! “ 

“ I’m busy! “ 

“ What? More busy than to feed your beautiful fiancé? “ he heard a huff and then here his soon to he husband walking out of their bedroom. 

“ Course not baby. “ Callum pouted and kissed him lovingly on the lips before moving down and kissing Ben’s heavily pregnant bump. 

Ben hummed in knowledgement and smiled more into the sound full kiss. “ Babies are hungry. “ 

“ I know you are. “ He said when pulled away fully. 

Ben pointed to his bump with a fake offended ( but pointedly ) face. “ These babies. “ 

“ Anything else you want apart from the strawberries? “ 

Ben shook his head, knowing Callum despises him eating pickles. Callum got a dish full of the red fruit and went back to the sofa. Callum helped him to lie across the sofa for Callum to straddle him. He balanced the bowl on Ben’s tummy. 

“ I prefer you to not use me as a table Callum. “ Ben ain’t impressed. 

“ Do you want to be fed? “ 

A nod. 

“ so I’m using you as a table. “ 

Well then. 

Callum pushed the first big fruit into Ben’s lips, he bit into it and the red juice ran down his chin.   
“ This reminds me when I could actually eat you out. “ Ben goes down memory lane. 

Callum chuckled. “ Really? “ 

“ hm - hm. Now I can’t -“ He pouted, soundingly bizarrely like Lexi. “ - me bump is too big. “ 

“ Can barely get to the counter can ya? “ Sniggered Callum, munching on a strawberry himself and playfully dodged the smack from his babe. 

“ You know women -“ 

“ I do know of them - have dated one before -“ 

Ben shoots him a look. “ - well - Do you - will you still fancy me when I’ve had them? “ he self consciously rubbed his belly, feeling the little movements within. 

“ Where’s this coming from? “ 

A slight shrug. “ I read somewhere that couples get distant and the love evaporates because the man is disgusted by the woman’s figure. “ 

Callum placed both hands either side of Ben’s stomach, moving both thumbs to stroke the skin. 

“ I fancy you now don’t I? I love all your stretch marks, all your changing body. I love watching you grow bigger with our babies. “ Callum had a small smile on his face, eyes twinkling.   
“ I’ve fallen deeper in love with ya. “ 

Ben wiped away his tearful eyes. “ Soppy git. “ 

“ It’s true. I won’t fall out of love with ya. I wouldn’t care if you stayed bloated after birth. Becos I know you’ve been carrying our future. “ 

And what Ben took from that was. “ bloated? Really? “ 

“ Yes. “ 

“ I dunno why I got insecure. “ 

“ It’s a big change Ben, your entitled to be insecure sometimes. “ Callum told him, comfortingly. “ and anyway - ain’t just you who’s grown is it? “ Callum says not so happy, gesturing to his own body. 

Ben’s head falls to the right with a smirk, he wraps his arms around his lovers waist whilst groaning because- big bump here! 

“ You ain’t gained much babe. “ 

“ Apparently it’s called pregnancy, sympathy weight or somethin. “ 

“ well I like ya like this. “ 

“ Kinky. “ 

“ Callum kinky. “ 

Callum laughed into the kiss.   
“ muppet. “ 

“ But I’m your muppet though ain’t I? “ he smiled cheeky. He leans back down looking up at his beautiful soulmate. “ Seems to me you’ve forgotten the strawberries babe. “ 

Callum playfully groans but does get a fruit and feeds it to him. “ You look sexy like this. “ 

“ Bet that’s what whales say to each other. “ 

“ Nah not whales - elephants. “

“ because that makes me better. “ 

Callum scoffs a strawberry in his gob to shut him up. “ You need to take a compliment. “ 

“ I do thanks - “ 

Callum cupped the slightly younger man’s scruffy jaw and delicately pressed a kiss to his lips. 

“ Do you think Chris would be proud of me? “ he suddenly said. 

Ben slid his hand around the back of Callum’s head and forced his lips on his again and pulled away whilst playing with the brunette locks. 

“ he’ll be proud of you. How far you’ve come and accepted yourself. “ 

“ you think? “ 

“ I know. “ He willingly said. 

“ i think Paul would feel the same too you know? He’d be proud of you - finding new love and moving on from him. “ 

“ I hope he is. “ Ben feels his chest feel crushed by the sadness. 

“ Sorry for making the mood dampen. “ 

“ It’s Alright. “ because it is. “ We need to have these moments of reassurance. “ 

“ I’m glad I met you; you know. “ 

“ Me too. “ He pulled Callum’s head forward again and pecked him on the lips. 

“ You want to watch a movie babe? “ 

“ Yeh - so you can carry on feeding me. “ Ben reminded him with a dominant tone, sliding his hand down into Callum’s boxers. 

His hot breath burned Ben’s skin on his neck. “ or take this to bed? “ 

“ Bed. “ Ben hungrily said, snogging some more before Callum getting up and helping Mitchell along the way. 

“ don’t forget the strawberries! “


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #71 - sequal to chapter 59,
> 
> “ Ben and jay have a heart to heart “ about ben being suicidal on the bridge where Callum saved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For jess_2304 x   
( sorry this is so late! )

Callum brings Ben back to his. Where he is now safe tucked away in Callum’s bed asleep, exhausted of the lying and tonight. 

Callum texts Jay, Lola and Kathy to let them know Ben is safe. He also tells them they can come to his flat tomorrow to talk to Ben. 

Callum rubs his face and sighs heavily. Ben nearly died. He was going to kill himself and if Callum wasn’t there - Ben would be on that wet ground by now. Alone, cold and dead. 

Callum walks into his bedroom and gets a blanket for himself. He stares down at Ben and immediately becoming emotional. He doesn’t notice the tears running down his cheeks.   
He bends down and kisses Ben softly on the forehead. 

“ I love you. “ he whispers before leaving. 

-

Ben wakes up with a banging headache and feels rough. He blinks multiple of times before remembering what happened last night. He is embarrassed. 

He gets up regardless and walks into the living room where Callum is sat looking hesitant.   
Ben hates doing this to him, to his family for all the stress he’s caused. 

“ You - you okay? “ Callum apprehensively asks him, standing up from the sofa and looking back at the man. 

He nods slowly. “ Y-Yeh. “ 

“ you don’t have to lie Ben. “ 

A shrug. “ I ain’t. “ 

“ Last night Ben, you were about to kill -“ 

“ I know Callum. “ Ben announces tiredly. “ I didn’t mean for it to happen. “ 

“ but you’re obviously suicidal-“

Before Ben can argue back there is a knock at the front door. Callum walks over and les Jay in who looks concerned. 

“Ugh - “ Ben groans. Does the whole square know about last night? 

“ Ben What the hell were you doin? “ Jay hisses at him in stress. Callum exits the flat and goes outside. 

“ I was drunk. “ Ben replies knowing full well it’s a lie, he goes to the sofa and sits down. 

“ And when people are drunk they usually go to a bridge and about to spatter themselves on the ground do they? “ 

“ It wasn’t like that. “ 

“ oh what was it like then? “ Jay pushes. “ As to what I remember Callum told me about you not wanting to be ‘ere. “ 

“ I dont want to talk about it. “ 

“ Please just tell me what’s going on Ben. “ Jay sits opposite him on the coffee table. 

“ you, Lo don’t see me no more. I ain’t allowed to see lex. Nobody bothers with me. “ 

“ We want to give you space. We’ve noticed how you’ve been stressed and been busy with Phil. We didn’t want to add more pressure on ya. “ 

“ but lex is my little girl jay. I’m never too stressed to be with her. “ 

“ That might be true but Ben. You’ve been drinking and not your usual self so we didn’t want you with lex -“ Jay regretted how he worded it, the second it came out of his mouth. 

Ben’s face fell and tears started sliding down his cheeks. “ You don’t trust me with her? “ 

“ that ain’t what I meant. “ 

“ then what did you mean jay!?” 

“ We didn’t want Lex to cause you to be angry and we don’t know what frame of mind you are in. “ 

“ I wouldn’t ever do anything to lex. “ Ben repeated. 

“ no, but you gotta understand how worried we’ve been Ben. “ 

“ I can’t tell you jay. “ he rubs his forehead. 

“ why? I’m a Mitchell too you know Ben. “ 

“ because it’s too complicated and risky. “ 

“ It’s bad ain’t it? “ 

“ Could say that. “ he muttered. 

“ so you really want to die? “ 

“ ..no. “ 

“ Because we do care about you. “ 

“ i was lonely. With everything with Phil, with you two and lex not seeing me and me ending things with cal. It felt too much. “ Ben told him truthfully. “ I started thinking about Paul and how he’d be ashamed. “ 

“ he wouldn’t Brov. “ 

“ you don’t know that. “ 

“ I do. He loved ya and would always see the good in you. Like Callum. He still cares bout you. “ 

“ everything is a mess. “ Ben cried into his hands. Jay sat next to him and wrapped his brother into a side hug. 

“ We will help you Ben. You ain’t alone. “ 

“ I just wanna be better. “ he choked. 

“ Then you will be. “ 

“ I’m in too far deep.” Ben stated. He will always be under Phil’s shadow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is what you wanted jess_2304!


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #72 - Prompt -1/6, Ballum & their kids, different problems and how they help them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Jess_2304 xx

Abbie was always a happy girl. She was always bubbly, always helping people and a genuine joy to be around. Till, she went to high school and her personality had changed. Abbie, only being 14years old, now drinks and smokes secretly. She argues with her siblings and parents. The school have had enough of her and everybody is concerned for her well being. 

Abbie comes into her home and slams the door shut making Ben, Callum and the kids all jump. Callum goes to the hallway fed up. 

“ stop slamming the door. “ 

“ Fuck off. “ 

Callum’s eyebrows shoot up and then suddenly Ben is there. “ Oi don’t talk to your dad like that. “ 

“ I’ll speak to him how I fucking want too. “ Abbie seethes and goes up to her room. The parents sigh. 

“ daddy? “ Their little girl tugs at Ben’s hand. He lifts her up and presses a kiss to her forehead. 

“ yes baby? “ 

“ what’s wrong with Abbie? “ 

Callum strokes her brunette hair back affectionately. “ She’s just in bit of a mood darlin. “ 

“ she swore. It’s naughty to say the f word. “ 

“ we know baby. “ Ben soothes.  
“ Don’t worry - me and daddy are going to sort out her problems. Now what about you go back into the living room and watch those Disney channels? “ 

The little girl smiles and runs back through into the living room. Callum wraps his arms around Ben and looks at him. 

“ It ain’t us is it? “ Callum asks in a low voice. 

Ben frowns at him, running his hand up and down Callum’s arm. “ What do you mean babe?”

“ Abbie ain’t acting out because we’re her parents? It ain’t us? “ 

“ No! “ Ben doesn’t mean to raise his voice, he’s just shocked that his husband came to that negative conclusion. “ But we do need to talk to her. See what’s wrong. “ 

Callum nods his head nervously. “ Now? “ 

“ yeh. “ 

Callum sighs and goes to walk up the stairs with Ben following. Callum knocks against her door and she grumpily says “ what. “ so they walk in and there she is slumped on her bed, phone in hand with a grumpy look on her face. 

“ Ab, we just want to know what’s wrong. “ Callum says first, breaking the temporary silence. 

“ We’re worried bout ya. “ 

Abbie does look guilty, upset.  
Yet doesn’t say anything. 

“ The school are becoming worried too darlin. This ain’t like you. “ 

‘ You are just a puff. ‘  
‘ you will soon turn out like Ben Mitchell because look at you! You’re horrible! ‘ 

“ like what? “ She stays on the defensive. 

“ Moody, angry, argumentative.” 

She shrugs her shoulders, avoiding her dads concerned gaze. She feels too trapped and ashamed for her behaviour. 

Callum makes his way to her bed and sits down looking at his daughter trying to read her thoughts. 

“ just tell us what’s wrong. “ He begs. Ben leans against the door frame, arms crossed observing. 

It’s time. It’s time to reveal the situation. “ These girls have been bullying me. “ 

“ how long for? “ Ben questions, eyes locked and burning. 

“ For few months. “ Abbie tells him, them quietly. 

“ What they been doin? “ Callum asks her. 

“ Callin me names, being nasty bout you two and me family. They’ve just - just made me horrible and I dunno how to cope. “ 

“ You should’ve talked to us. “ 

“ But your ill dad! “ Abbie outraged at Callum before turning to ben. “ and you’ve been stressing bout him and you have James, Lexi, Charlie and everyone else to stress bout! “ she tears up. 

Ben sighs to himself and walks over and sits down on the opposite side of the bed. “ don’t mean you can’t come to us. “ 

“ Apart from the drinking and smoking what else you been doing? “ 

She shrugs again, finding the braided blanket strangely interesting. “ Nowt much. I sometimes do those things but - that’s it. “ 

“ and there ain’t anything else is there baby? “ Ben takes her hand and holds it tight. 

She stills for a nanosecond but Callum and Ben notice it. Of course they do. “ I’ve just been worrying bout the future, about me. “ 

“ You’ve got ages to sort of your life. You don’t have to set everything out you know. “ Callum comforts. 

She huffs, angrily wipes away her falling tears. “ I’ve been pushing you two away. To not deal - deal with Dad’s illness so it hurt less if something happens. “ 

“ oh darlin. “ Callum cools and brings her into a tight hug. He presses a kiss to the top of her head and holds her tight. “ You know the doctors said it ain’t anything sinister. “ 

“ but google said -“ 

Ben huffs a slight laugh. “ Google is known for dramatics baby. You can’t believe that shit.” Callum kicks him in the ankle for swearing. 

“ I’m gunna be okay Ab. You got nowt to worry bout. “ He squeezes her in a hug before pulling away. 

“ You don’t know that. “ she whispers vulnerability. It’s like she has reverted back to a child again. 

“ No you right I don’t but with the right treatment and medicine. I’ll be me again. “ 

“ I don’t want you to die dad. “ she chokes on a upcoming sob. Ben has to blink away tears and gives her a hug. 

“ you know dad aint leaving us. And you know I’ll only give him hell in the afterlife for doing so. “ he jokes and smiles a tad more when he feels Abbie huff a small smile. 

“ what if we go into the school to’morrow and sort everything out Yeh? “ Callum suggests. “ We could get you some counselling? And u off the booze and fags. “ 

“ I ain’t an addict. “ 

“No I didn’t say that did I? I just meant stopping you from choosing the wrong decisions becos it can affect ya health. “ 

Abbie nodded still looking bit stiff. “ I’m sorry dads for - you know. I didn’t mean to cause you both added stress. “ 

Ben ruffled her hair. “ it ain’t be normal if life didn’t chuck us in the deep end. “ Ab smiled weakly. 

“ do you forgive me? “ 

“ of course we do! “ 

“ You muppet. “ Ben joked. “ Your our little girl, we’ll always be there for ya. We’re just sorry we didn’t realise-“ 

“ no don’t dad - it isn’t either of your faults. I was acting stupid and I know both of you are always there. “ 

“ but you just got trapped for a while. “ Callum added with a empathetic smile. “ If you’re really sorry - you can do house work for a month. “

“ a month! “ 

“ yep. “ Ben grinned. “ You can even do the toilets if you want. “ 

“ ew! “ 

“ Daaadd! “ The Little one called from downstairs.  
Ben was about to stand up but telling her one thing. 

“ We Good? “ 

Abbie smiled and hugged him in a tight hug. “ we good. Love you dad. “ 

“ love you too sweetheart. “ he kissed the top of her head before leaving the girls bedroom. Callum stayed, not done with the conversation. 

“ I don’t know why you never told us sooner Abbie. “ 

“ I didn’t want to cause stress and didn’t want to seem weak. “ 

“ you ain’t weak for asking for help. “ 

Abbie nodded. “ I know. I’m sorry dad. “ 

“ There ain’t nothing else is there? “ 

“ no, you and dad know everything now. “ 

“ good. “ He smiled, he opened his arms. “ come here. “ she hugged him and rested her head on his chest. “ You really scared of us you know. I thought it was us that was upsetting ya. “ 

“ it was never you two. I’m sorry dad. I really didn’t mean to cause all this. “ 

“ It’s all in the past now. “ he smiled. 

And everything will be okay eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried looking back at these chapters finding the Ballum & Family ones but I only found 1!! I can’t remember their kids names and how many there are!  
I’m terribly sorry if i’ve left any children out, but just know they are present but not mentioned. 
> 
> But I hope this is good at least and you all like it? 
> 
> Thank you all for the support :))


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #73 -prompt 2/5 - Ballum talking about their pasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Jess_2304 xx

James quietly walks down the stairs in the dim light. It’s bedtime and he should be asleep but he can’t shift his thoughts about his extended family and basically wants answers.   
He sneaks through the door frame and watches their dads for a moment. They can’t see him as the sofa is opposite the 2nd living room door and watching television. Ben has his head leaning against dad’s shoulder and James can tell they are snuggling. 

This is the typical position they’re in. 

James sneaks around the sofa and Ben catches something in his eye and looks at him frowning. 

“ why you up? You should be in bed. “ Ben tells him, confused, unmoving from his position. 

“ What’s wrong James? “ Callum a knowledgeably sees a hesitant look on their sons face. 

“ I got a question. “ 

“ hmm bout what? “ Ben asks him, curious but not unwelcoming. 

“ About your pasts and family. “ James tells them straight now walking to the other sofa and sitting down. 

“ why do you want to know about our family? “ Callum asks, looking like he’s dreading it. 

“ because I want to know about my grandads on either side of your family. “ 

“ James, you know Grandad Phil is dead. “ Callum tells him confused. 

“But what about your dad? “ James fires back directly. Ben rubs Callum’s arm feeling him tense up and starting to tremor slightly. 

“ You don’t have to tell him. “ Ben whispers. Callum shakes his head at him, he knew this time was going to come but he wished it wasn’t right now. 

“ What do you want to know bout my dad? “ 

James shrugged, awkwardly.   
“ Anything. Where is he? Why don’t you ever talk bout him and when he’s mentioned you look all - sad. “ 

Callum clicks his jaw. He should’ve known James would catch on to something- he’s only 12 but is very intelligent for his age. 

“ He’s in prison. “ 

James’s eyebrows shoot up gobsmacked. “ Prison! What for? “ 

“ He - used -“ Callum shrugged to get the words out, feeling his chest contrast. “ - he used to hurt me. “ 

Ben deepened the rubbing circles on Callum’s shoulders not wanting to relapse. “ How? “ James asked quietly. 

Callum cleared his throat and coughed. “ Verbally and physically but he used to be the same with Uncle Stuart too. “ he explained. “ not as bad though.”   
He added quietly. 

“ And that was when you were both a child? “ 

A firm nod. 

“ then why is he in prison now then? “ 

Ben took Callum’s place. “ He did something to Daddy years ago and got arrested. “ 

“ what did he do? “ 

“ I don’t want to talk about it. “ Callum sternly said, the itching under his skin getting hotter whilst his forehead starts getting sweat beads. 

The memories come back of that dreadful night and all he wants to do is curl away. 

“ okay. “ James agreed, self consciously. “ I’m sorry daddy. “ 

“ what for? “ Callum fragility says, trying not to break down in front of their son. 

“ for causing the memories back. “ 

“ it’s okay honestly. “ He forced smile. James nods awkwardly, looking terribly guilty. Callum gestures for him to come over and James sits on Callum’s lap. 

“ But your nana Kathy is still ‘ere ain’t she? You love cooking with her. “ 

“ The food ain’t as good as yours dad. “ 

Ben chuckles. “ it’s becos he’s a chef ain’t he? “ 

“ But dad why you so bad at cooking? “ James asks Ben. 

“ Hardly ever given the practice. But I’ve gotten better. “ 

“ really? If your food is bad now it must’ve been horrific years ago! “ 

Ben looks at him offended. “ Thanks Son. “

James giggles. “ I’m only joking!” 

“ Sure sure. “ 

“ But you’re right James, Dads cooking skills were terrible back in the day. “ 

Ben slaps Callum’s arm. “ Stop picking on me! “ 

“ I’m only stating facts! “ 

“ how did lex have food then and not stave? “ James questioned, fearful. 

“ She had Lola ain’t she, and jay and Kathy and this one -“ Ben nudged his husband. 

“ So u didn’t feed her? “ 

“ no I did but only the basics. “ 

“Oh. “ James made the sound.   
“ What about you dad? “ he directed at Callum, meaning about his childhood. 

He answered, guessing James meant his childhood. “ Well I had me Dad. “ 

“ What about your mum? “ 

“ She left when I was little. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ She -Err - she couldn’t cope with me and Stu. “ 

James looked like he discovered a secret. “ You two were naughty! “ 

“...no...” Callum really tried to not break down or have a panic attack. He feels too overwhelmed. “ mum has some issues and needed to be on her own. “ 

“ so you think she has another family now? “ 

“ I don’t know. “ 

“ Do you -“ 

“ James think that’s enough with the questions now ay? “ Ben cut in seeing the distress on Callum’s face. 

“ But what about you dad? “ 

“ what about me? “ Ben frowned. 

“ How was your dad with you? “ 

“ We had a rocky relationship bud. “ Ben sighed, sadly. 

“ But did he love you? “ 

“ in his own way. I like to think. “ 

“ Well I love you dad and I’ll love you more than he should’ve. “ 

Ben couldn’t help but feel emotional at the sincere of his son’s words. He hugged him and kissed his forehead. 

“ thank you sweetheart, I love you too. “ 

“ more than daddy? “ 

“ the same amount. “ He smiled before pulling away. “ Now go to bed yeh? You’ve terraced us enough now ain’t ya? “ 

James got up and hugged Ben again and then Callum pecking him on the cheek. “ Sorry Dad for making you upset. “ 

“ I ain’t don’t worry. “ Callum weakly smiled. “ Love you. “ 

“ love you, night! “ 

“ night night! And u better be asleep when we go to bed! “   
And James went to bed. Ben faced his husband who had a sad blank expression on his usual cheerful face. 

“ baby? “ 

“ I’m fine. “ he lied. 

“ Don’t lie to me Cal. “ 

“ Just brought back memories, that all. “ 

“ wanna talk bout it? “ 

Callum shook his head, not making eye contact with him.   
“ Just wanna have a snuggle. “ he whispered, quietly. Ben wrapped his arms around his husband letting Callum snuggle down and lay his head on Ben’s lap. Ben played with Highways hair slowly. 

“ You okay? “ 

“ will be. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is what you wanted and the chapter is okay for everyone!!


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #74 - prompt 4/5 - James getting a boyfriend, the boyfriend wanting to reach the next step and asking Ballum for advice because he’s nervous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Jess_2304 xx

.  
James is twenty now. He’s been with his boyfriend for 3 years and Li ( the boyfriend ) wants to progress their relationship by moving in together.   
Li has his own apartment since being chucked out of his home at the age of 16 ( because he’s gay and that goes against his religion). He managed to have his own home and James makes him safe, makes him secure and basically gives him Maslow ( a pyramid of human values ). 

So why not move in together? James is always at his anyway, most of his personal belongings are at his apartment now. So it is obviously ready for them to live together permanently? Right? 

James left Li on read and freaked out. 

He went home and tumbled in his dad who immediately recognised the internalised fear in his eyes. 

“ what’s the matter James? “ Ben asked him now worried. “ those boys ain’t been bullying ya again? “ 

James shook his head. “ no it ain’t that. “ 

“ is it Li? 

Silence. That’s the answer then. 

“ Has he hurt ya? “ Ben’s voice slightly hardened. 

“ No! “ 

Ben brought him to the living room and sat him down. He sat next to him with hands folded worried. 

“ what’s wrong? “ 

James sighed heavily, rubbing his palms together nervously.   
“ Li wants to move in together. “ 

“ Soo? “ 

“ Well it’s a big step aint it? I’m committing me self to him. “ 

Ben laughed. “ You ain’t getting married! “ he exclaimed. “ You shoulda seen me and cal when we was younger. “ Ben chuckled to himself shaking his head. “ I was freaking out bout it, but there was nothing to be worried bout. “ 

“ but didn’t you not think it’d be mad? You two arguing and all. You had lex too. “ 

“ yeh we did but we love each other too much. We had our bickerings - still Do mind - but it was the best decision. “ Ben couldn’t wipe off the shy smile on his face. “ wasn’t it babe! “ he hurled back slightly calling to his husband. 

“ what?! “ 

“ Me and you bickering when I moved on top of the funeral place! “ 

“ yeh you was a right nightmare!” 

Ben sat up. “ He’s only joking -“ 

“ no I bloody ain’t. “ Callum walked into the room, placing his hands either side of Ben’s shoulders and massaging him. 

“ You was dead grumpy and I did all the cleaning! “ 

“ Yeh but I repaid ya back didn’t I? “ He fires back sassily. 

James got the message and scrunched up his face. “ I don’t wanna know. “ 

“ but - “ Callum starts off now smiling seriously. “ - it was the best thing. It brought us closer, the domestics, the watching telly and binge eating. I wouldn’t ever change that. “ he kissed Ben’s jaw who looked sickeningly in love, still after all these years of marriage. 

“ and then you got married. “ James added. 

“ and then we got married. “ Callum repeated. “ But James - don’t let fear ruin your chances of life. You’ll end up lonely and regretful and trust me - it ain’t nice. “ 

“ I just don’t want me and Li to mess up. “ 

“ I ain’t gunna sugar coat it. “ Ben started off. “ You’ll have ya arguments and times when you feel like leaving but - it’s part of life. It only means you two are real and it ain’t all perfect. “ 

“ and the making up is brilliant too. “ Callum grinned. 

James faked gagged. 

“ Do you love him. “ Ben asked. 

“ yeh. Tons. “ 

“ do you see a future with him? “ Callum followed on. 

James blushed whilst nodding. 

“ then take this next step. If both of you are ready - go for it. And your home is always ‘ere, bud. If you need us , we’re here.” 

“ thank you dad. “ James hugged Ben and then Callum which was an awkward position but they got there eventually. 

“ And anyway ain’t like you’re going far is it? “ 

James shook his head. “ Scary I’m actually leaving here. This is all I’ve known. “ 

“ well you have been staying at li’s more than 2 days a week. “ 

“ yeh but permanently. “ 

Ben grasped his son’s shoulder.   
“ James, do not overthink this. If you are ready, fly the nest. “ 

“ I’m ready. “ 

“ I’ll help you pack. “ 

“ bloody hell dad, at least seem sad that I’m goin! “ 

Callum huffed a chuckle. “ of course I am! What if we cook one last meal together ay? Have the whole family together and have a little celebration of you leavin. “ 

“ I’ll like that. “ 

“ We’ll be here. Whenever you need help - we are here okay? “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is okay!


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #75 - prompt 5/5 - first time brad & his sister come over. A few months into their visits their parents come and Ballum protect the kids and stick up for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last one for Jess_2304!! xx

Brad and his sister, Amy, come to the Mitchell and Highway’s household for tea and to play with James+ siblings. Ben and Callum had welcomed them in like they were family, especially when their parents were horrible ( by what they’ve been told ). Both men wanted to protect James since coming out as gay ( to them because he felt completely comfortable around them ) and they knew Sarah and Jack ( mum and dad ) were homophobes. They wanted to do something about it, they wanted to get Amy and James out of that toxic house but also not wanting to cause more grief for them too.   
So they reluctantly left it. 

“ Amy - James - you want anymore food?! “ Ben called from the kitchen. 

“ no thank you! “ James shouted back. 

“ No th’anks! “ Amy lisped. 

Ben put the rest of the homemade Shepard’s Pie into containers for the next nights tea. James and Amy have came back to Ben’s and Callum’s house for tea again. Straight after school and they always play with James, Charlie, Abby, Lexi, Jessica whilst watching television. It makes Ben and Callum relax knowing they are eating ( since looking a bit too skinny ) and being looked after properly. 

BANGBANGBANGBANG 

Ben frowned at the violent knocks to the front door and walks to the hallway just in time with Callum walking to the door too. 

“ Where the fuck are my kids you puffs?!!! “ An aggressive Male pins Callum’s up against the wall the second he opened it. Ben drags the man off his husband about to deck him one. 

“ oi, get off him! “ 

“ WHERE ARE THEY? “ 

“ I ain’t tellin ya. “ Callum isn’t backing down. “ They’re terrified of you! You aint a parent! “ 

“ I don’t want me kids getting involved with puffs and fucking queer kids! “ Ben punched the bloke in the jaw. Nobody calls his family those disgusting names, especially about his children. 

“ No wonder they been wanting to stay ‘ere. Look at you! “ Callum growls with disgust, seeing his own dad in flashbacks. 

“ Oh and they’ve been sayin that ‘ave they? “ the man laughed nastily. 

“ it shows they don’t! “ 

“ dad. “ Brad comes behind Ben with Amy stood behind her big brother petrified. 

The dad lunches for them only to have both Ben and Callum push him back. “ We don’t want to live with you no more! “ Brad shouts, shaking anxiously. 

“ And What? You rather stay with these fucking fags?! “ 

“ they’re twice the dad you are to us! “ 

“ They’ve been tainting ya minds! “ The dad exclaimed disgusted. 

Amy shook her head, holding Brads hand, jumping slightly when James and Lexi stand behind them too. 

“ we don’t want you daddy. We love it here. We feel safe. “ 

“ Yeh? Well no fucking wonder ya mum left you two! She couldn’t stand either of ya and I had to be stuck with you! “ the man seethes hatred at them. “ But you are my fucking kids and you’re coming with me NOW! “ he too quickly grabs Brads arm and drags him to him trying to reach the little girl but James and Lexi latch onto her. 

“ She ain’t goin with you! “ 

“ Leave it. “ Callum tells them not wanting them to get hurt. 

“ Yeh leave it sweetheart. “ 

A thunder comes rocketing down his face and pushes hard against the man’s shoulders. 

“ don’t you ever call my daughter sweetheart. “ 

“ and what you gunna do about it? Queeny? “ He laughs mocking him. 

Ben fists his hands in balls trying not to be too violent. He isn’t that man anymore but this man is testing his patience. 

“ I’m gunna call the police and tell them how their dad is a abusive, homophobic arsehole! “ 

“ go on then. “ The man challenges. “ Do it. See where it gets ya. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta admit, I struggled with this. I didn’t know how to write it and then this ending. I just left it because I couldn’t picture it in my head.   
Ben and Callum have no parental hold of James& Amy and they are basically the parents of James+siblings.   
So when Social Services come in, they’ll take the two kids into foster care where they’ll hopefully find a family???   
( and meaning by this in my head -the homophobic dad has lost custody of his 2 children ).   
But if Ballum could adopt Brad & Amy - it happens in this story but all you lovely readers can decide on what happens! 
> 
> I do hope this is okay and not a massive disappointment. But if it is I’m extremely apologetic!!


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #76 - prompt 2/2 - it is Paul’s birthday and instead of Ben spiralling and drinking himself into a oblivion. He talks to Callum about his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Robronfan94 x

It has been 6 years since Paul had tragically died. When Ben’s heart broke and part of him died with Paul, even now, with Callum. He wishes Paul was here, he was his first love, he still loves him. But has learnt to move on and carry his heart and expand new love. Callum has filled his soul and part of his heart but Paul will forever be dented in his mind. 

He usually drinks himself till he sees triple. To push his feelings away but of course Callum nips at Ben’s feelings and thoughts till he reluctantly reveals what he is troubling with. 

Which is why he is the smaller spoon in their mini king size bed with Callum’s arms wrapped around his chest and legs covering Ben’s small ones. 

“ Talk to me baby. “ Callum murmurs, tracing his fingertips up and down Ben’s slightly defined chest. 

He sighs, shifting back into his boyfriend more. “ I don’t know what to say. “ 

“ just say how yew feelin. “ 

“ It was my fault. “ 

“ why do you think like that? “ 

Ben frowned harshly. “ I was mouthin off - I was swearin and tryna act all tough and - Paul paid the price. He died because I couldn’t keep me gob shut. “ 

“ You were standing up to homophobia Ben. You didn’t mean for anything to happen. “ 

“ He was me first love. “ Ben’s voice cracked. “ we were meant to work in the funeral home together- we had plans. Then it just gets all snitched away like it was nothing, like we were nothing. “ tears start to roll from the corners of Ben’s eyes. 

“ you gunna think of the positives. You experienced love, you still shared a life with Paul and in the final moments of his life - you were there. You was making him laugh and smile. “ before he died went unmentioned. 

Ben made a strangled sob in his throat from hearing Callum’s words. “ But he died being petrified. “ 

“ Death ain’t always peaceful Ben, you’ll fade away with a painful consequence to it. “ 

“ I should’ve done more. “ Ben murmured to himself. 

“ what could’ve you done? They would have beaten you too. “ 

“ at least they wouldn’t have put all the focus onto him. “ 

“ and if they did that and Paul still died? “ 

Ben shrugged slightly. “ I miss him. “ 

Callum tightened his grip on him and kissed lightly on Ben’s skin.   
“ I know you do babe. “ 

“ I wish I told him i loved him more. “ 

“ I’m sure you did. He would’ve known. “ 

“ He was everything. “ 

“ and he will always will be. He will always be in your heart and won’t ever leave you. “ 

“ I don’t want to forget him. “ Ben whispered, borderline scared. 

“ you won’t. But you need to move on from him. It’d make ya ill if you stay in the past. “ 

“ Do you think he forgives me? “ 

“ He wouldn’t ever doubted you. He knew you did everything you could. “ 

“ I can’t live with him hatin me. “ 

“ he don’t. “ 

“ in some ways - I see Paul in you. That’s why I feel - I feel like he’s still ‘ere. “ 

It was sentimental in a way. But Callum doesn’t know how to feel about it, Ben sees his dead boyfriend in him. What if Ben tries to make him into Paul to feel closer to him?   
Callum mentally shakes himself out of his delusional thoughts. 

“ Then you can listen to me when I say he don’t hate you. “ 

“ I want to sleep now. Don’t wanna talk. “ 

“ do you want me to go -?” 

Ben shook his head and brought Callum’s arms tighter around himself. Whilst being completely against his boyfriend. 

“ I don’t want to be alone. “ 

“ You won’t ever be. “ Callum pressed another delicate kiss to Ben’s neck letting the man fall asleep. 

All Callum wants is to help Ben. But he don’t want to say the wrong thing. Would Ben be grateful to have a teddy bear especially he made for him? To have the bear have fabric that Paul used to have? The scent and voice recorder of Paul’s voice? So Ben can feel closer to him? 

Or would it cause more distress for the guilt ridden Mitchell? 

-

A few weeks later and Ben is back to his usual snarky self. He felt better about talking about Paul, he didn’t feel less drained and he had to admit. It felt good not drinking himself to death. 

Whilst Ben has thought everything is going normal. Callum has been organising the teddy bear for Ben.   
When they are in Callum’s flat, alone whilst Ben is watching reruns of Peaky Blinders. Callum holds the box behind his back entering the room hesitantly. 

Ben side eyes him with a smirk.   
“ Got a surprise for me eh? Some sexy silk? “ he sniggers dirtily. 

Callum chokes a laugh before pausing the episode. Ben frowns. “ was watching that. “ 

“ you know - you know few weeks ago it was Paul’s anniversary? “ Callum starts off nervously not knowing how to approach the topic. 

Ben frowns more, confused.   
“ yeh? “ 

Callum clears his throat and feels his hands turn clammy. Having Ben staring at him and him only is causing his anxiety to powershoot up into space. 

“ Ah - Err - well I - I thought -“ 

Ben stands up and cups his boyfriend’s jaw pecking him on the lips carefully. “ babe calm down - it’s only me. “ 

Callum takes a deep breath, trying desperately to calm his anxiety. “ I was thinking of getting - “ he stops and just passes Ben the box. It saves the talking. “ Jus - just open it. “ 

Ben opens the box and gets out a teddy bear. He is hella confused. But, parts of the teddy have this patten Paul used to like. Surely that’s a conscience? 

“ have a smell of it. “ Callum instructs him. Ben would’ve made a cheeky comment if his stomach wasn’t churning and the lump in his that was so big. 

Ben gasps. Paul’s aftershave. Paul’s shampoo fragrance. 

“ the shop made this using the things Paul liked. And I thought- I thought you might feel closer to him? “ 

Ben is crying now, clutching the teddy to his nose breathing in Paul’s smell. This is overwhelming. He feels Paul right next to him, all the memories come flooding back. 

It hurts so much. 

Callum awkwardly reaches over and presses a button and - Paul’s voice fills the room with Ben’s hysterical cries. He hasn’t heard that voice in 6 long, painful years. 

Callum takes it the wrong way and completely panics. “ I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you!! I’m so so sorry Ben -!” 

Ben quickly dives for a hug and clings onto his boyfriend with the teddy protectively in his chest. 

Ben can’t breathe. “ this - thank you - Cal - oh my - god -“ 

He hasn’t ever had someone be so thoughtful. To have a sentimental teddy bear especially for him, to feel close to Paul. No other present will ever add up to this. 

Callum rests his head on top of Ben’s hugging him back. “ You can talk to him, you’ll feel like he’s right there and you won’t feel lonely no more. “ 

Ben chokes and sniffles. “ I ain’t lonely. I just miss him sometimes. “ 

“ or when you do - you can sleep with him and have the teddy close to ya? “ 

“ I don’t know what to say Cal. “ Ben’s voice is hoarse. “ thank you. Thank you so much. “ he hugs him again before pressing a kiss to Callum’s lips. 

“ I love you. “ 

“ I love you too. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is okay?!


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #77 - For Jess_2305 - Ben and/or Callum confronting Leo in the pub ( and therefore have Mick support him ).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A late prompt

Leo laying lifelessly on the wet ground with a puddle of dark liquid expanding next to his head. 

Callum standing over this man’s body panting heavily, anxiety and overwhelment intoxicating him. The brick drops to the ground smashing into 3 large pieces. Stone still. 

They were arguing, Leo punched Callum in the face twice, then Leo just walks away leaving Callum on the floor. Callum doesn’t remember the 15 second period but all he knows is. 

He had a bloody brick in his hand and now Leo is dead. All Callum knows is, his captain screaming at him and he can hear gunshots and is back in Iraq. That Leo punched him and they were arguing ‘bout Whitney. 

“ Oh stop it! “ Callum never turned so fast. Honey laughing with Karen walking past the chippy and making way to their homes. The angry tears roll down his cheeks and he quickly drags Leo in the direction of the funeral home. Callum making sure the brick is with them. 

Callum had to move, look and deal with dead bodies in the army. You wouldn’t have thought that, considering he was a chef, but you can’t be limited in doing 1 aspect of war. You needed to be qualified and able to do other things too. 

Callum has never told anyone that he is more than a chef. 

Callum turns off the CCTV. One of the coffins has Mrs Robert’s in there. She was a lovely lady, she always made Callum laugh and they truly bonded. She said she didn’t want to be alone when she died. 

Callum wishes he didn’t have to put Leo underneath her. 

He disguises Leo fairly well, a bit too well for his liking. The lid goes over the base and screws all the nails in again. Callum wipes all the DNA off the coffin and brushes the floor where he had dragged Leo. 

Callum is on autopilot. Doing everything by trance. All he can hear is his captain, soldiers shouting, gunshots, Leo shouting, Ben being soft and Lexi laughing. 

It’s the laugh. Lexis laugh on repeat, going louder and louder and lo-

He punches himself in the head. 

‘ Pathetic! ‘ 

‘ I know you could always cover up a murder. ‘ 

-

“ I thought I was supposed to be the one coming in late in this relationship? “ Ben looks up at his boyfriend unmoving from his half sitting position on the bed. His iPhone 6 still in hand. 

Callum swallows thickly, his heart beating out of his chest and hands going clammy.  
He forces a chuckle. “ Y-Yeh I was - “ what was he doing? “ I went on a run. “ 

Ben can easily tell he’s lying. “ Thought you were seein Whit? “ 

Shit. “ Afterwards. “ 

Ben nods his head not convinced in the slightest. “ right. “ 

“ Why - why you still up? “ 

“ was waiting for you for 3 hours and you only meant to go to the chippy and Whitney’s. “ Ben pointedly states, narrowing his eyes at his flustered boyfriend. 

“ ran out of time. “ 

“ I know you are lying Callum. “ 

“ I - I - ain’t. “ 

“ The truth soon be revealed sooner rather than later. “ 

Callum shrugged scared and nodded once again, turning his back on Ben, who’s eyes were glaring into his head. 

‘ You are a murderer. ‘ 

-

Ben wraps his arm farther around Callum’s neck and pressing another kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. 

“ You’ve been actin strange recently. “ Ben comments, open question. 

Callum tries not to tense but Ben notices. Always notices every thing Callum does. “ Have I? “ he plays dumb, getting a swig of his whisky. 

“ hmm. One of them is - you’ve been drinking whiskey and I know for a fact you don’t like it. “ 

“ Well I want to expand my tastes don’t I? “ Callum half shrugs, avoiding eye contact and finding the concentration of the whiskey glass rather fascinating. 

And before Ben can push on, Whitney comes into the Vic whilst demanding her order loudly. 

“ One bottle of champagne please Mick! “ Whitney proudly announces to Mick with a wide grin. 

Everyone’s attention goes to her. 

“ What’s the occasion? “ Mick asks, getting what Whitney ordered. 

“ Leo has finally left me alone! “ Whitney smiles brightly, like a weight has lifted from her shoulders. 

Callum wants to be sick. 

“ That’s Good ain’t it? He’s finally fucked off. “ 

Callum mutters ‘ you don’t have to announce it to the world. ‘ only Ben hears him and frowns.  
“ Why’s that babe? Ain’t she glad to get rid of that psycho? Bet your glad too? “ he snipes at him, knowing he is getting under Callum’s skin to the truth. 

Callum clears his throat. “ Well I just don’t get why she needs to tell everyone? Maybe Leo has just left deciding what’s best for him. “ 

“ what have you done? “ 

Callum paled, chest tightening as the anxiety raised. “ what do you mean? “ his voice catches him out. 

“ you done something to Leo. “ 

“ no I -“ 

“ ay Callum! “ Callum turns his head that fast, he might have whiplash. 

“ yeh? “ he tries to go for normal. 

Whitney holds a glass out for him. “ ‘ave this - after him pestering you bout your army days -“ 

No he don’t deserve it. Not after he’s killed a man. “ no no -“ 

“ no go on ave it -“ Whitney continues, now at their table.  
“ I’m sorry for believing you was like those other blokes. I shoulda known you ain’t nowt like that. “ 

Callum forces a closed smile on his face that much, it looks like he’s at gun point. “ T-thanks. “ 

Mick holds his glass up in the air. “ to Leo King never returning again! “ 

“ to Leo king never returning again! “ 

The champagne is poison going down his throat. 

-

“ MURDERER! “ 

“ NO! “ 

“ KILLED ME AND YOU STILL GET A LIFE? “ 

“ I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry! “ 

“ Callum wake up! “ 

“ Leo I’m -“ 

“ wake up!! “ 

Callum bolts up in bed gasping for oxygen. Ben frantically rubs his back trying desperately to calm him. “ baby you gotta talk to me. “ 

Callum weakly shakes his head, still gasping for breath. “ I - can’t -“ 

“ it’s been weeks. “ 

“ you - you promise you won’t -“ Callum defeats. 

“ I swear, whatever you say baby, I’ll be there with you. “ Ben kisses delicately on Callum’s sweaty head. 

“ I killed - Leo king. “ 

Ben stills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really struggled with this one, I had writers block and couldn’t picture it in my head at all!  
I haven’t done what you completely asked, but I thought it’d be easier having fewer ( eg - Ben ) ppl knowing about Leo’s death the better? 
> 
> I do hope it isnt as bad as I think it is, but if so. Sorry!


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #78 - Can you do a story where Callum is playing video games and Ben walks in with just his boxers and tries to seduce Callum and works (Got the idea from when Whitney tried to do it to Callum lol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Krl96 x 
> 
> Role play, kink & smut

Ben peaked round the door frame of their bedroom and spotted Callum playing on his X-box. He grinned mischievously and dropped the fluffy navy gown to their double bed. Only wearing his Kelvin white pants, the ones Callum loves on him because they cling onto the right places. ( and because Callum loves groping Ben’s peach bum ). 

He strolled over to his distracted boyfriend and lopped his own small leg over Callum’s bent up ones. Callum didn’t even shift a glance his way. 

“ Nooo kill him! Kill him Knightinshiningamour65! “ Callum roared in anguish, feeling the adrenaline rush through him. 

Ben sighed heavily at the lack of attention. He tried again, by sliding his hands around his boyfriend’s waist and slowly meowing at his neck. He slowly kissed along the neck and jaw opting to be more forceful when Callum was relaxing and moaning quietly. 

Callum stammered to stop the game and took off his headset.  
“ What you doin? “ he moaned, arousal deepening his voice. 

“ Tryna seduce me boyfriend. “ Ben told him straight ( unfortunate term of phase ). 

“ Can I just - finish this last game? We’re nearly winning. “ Callum pleaded, naive to think Ben Mitchell will back down without an alternative motive. 

Ben pulled away with a smile.  
“ Fine Babe. “ 

Callum grinned like a child and pecked his Ben on the lips and a nanosecond later back killing people. “ Sorry guys I’m back - just had a distraction. “ 

Ben’s eyebrows flow up offended. Nice to know his boyfriend appreciates him. Ben got up from the sofa and left Callum alone for a while. Ben Mitchell can make a challenge out of anything and this? Trying to arouse his boyfriend? Is a challenge and will succeed. 

Ben softly closes the door and gets out his underwear. The sexy underwear. Since that day, finding Callum looking at half naked men wearing lace with their ( very ) hard ons on. Ben brought lacy undies, different variety of colours and different sizes with some black thin ribbons hanging down. 

Ben was into whatever Callum was into ( okay he has some standards and even Callum Highway doesn’t know what he’s into most of the time ). If it made Callum look at Ben with eyes full of thirst and want and ready to pounce on him?  
Ben is obviously going to fulfil Callum’s kink ain’t he? 

He puts the gown back on and reopens the door taking his sweet time walking to his lover. Who is still killing people on the x-box ( even Ben was bit surprised that angel Callum plays these type of games but apparently it calms Callum. A bit psychotic but there you go ). 

“ Gogogogogo Simon, you fucking dimwit!!! “ Callum screams at the screen and headset. His fingers going 100miles a minute with the buttons and 3D controller button. 

Ben sits down and deliberately slouches out and spreads his legs wide open, gown still closed. Ben then places his hand on the dip of Callum’s leg, where his crouch lays. 

“ you alright babe? “ Callum asks him, acknowledging him but still fully focused on the game. 

Ben hums in the back of his throat and runs his hand up and down Callum’s leg. He pinches and tightens the grip before pulling away. 

Callum swallows, shifting in his seat feeling his dick twitch and expand from the feel. Ben smirks and takes off the gown, all of him exposed now and cock full display even in the lacy underwear. 

Callum looks at once, then twice and thickly gulps because this is a beautiful sight to see Ben hard and sexy and how god his joggers are too tight. 

Callum tells his online mates that he needs to go and then turns to his gorgeous boyfriend who is glowing with smugness. 

“ You look a bit red there babe.” Ben knowingly states, cupping Callum’s jaw whilst feeling himself with his left hand. 

“ you look - wow -“ Callum is speechless. 

Ben sits up and teasingly kisses Callum on the lips. “ nobody chooses a game console over me. “ 

Callum’s eyes dilate. “ I’m sorry -“ 

“ You should be. “ Ben agrees. “ And now - you cant take these off me can you? “ he falsely pouts, getting Callum’s hand and rubbing it over the lace and his now hard cock. 

“ P-please Ben - you - “ 

“ Shhh. “ He presses his finger against Highways lips. He leans Callum’s down and straddles his waist. Callum is nearly suffocating from the overwhelming view in front of him.  
Ben looks magnificent, especially with the red lace pants expressing Ben’s body figure to an A, how they make Ben’s cock more captivating and all he wants to do is bite Ben’s skin with the lace and lick him and suck - 

“ You’ve been a bad boy ain’t cha? “ Ben tuts, touching the boyfriend’s fully expanded organ. 

“ I’ve tried to be good -“ he gulped fucking aroused. 

“ I know baby but bad boys need punishing don’t they? “ 

“ Make me good. “ 

Ben slowly kisses Callum mouth accepting the challenge. 

-

Callum pants heavily sweating on the sofa with Ben laying on him too panting softly. “ You are too sexy Ben. “ 

Ben chuckles softly, stroking Callum’s flushed chest and pressed a wet kiss to the salty skin. “ I can’t take all the credit babe. “ 

“ You looked - magnificent in those lace pants. “ 

Ben blushes, ducking his head shy. “ A bit of a over exaggeration. “ 

Callum tucked Ben into his body more and pressed a kiss to Ben’s wet hair. “ You need to improve your self esteem babe.” 

“ A bit of a hypocrite don’t ya think? “ 

“ I’ve been trying! “ Callum moaned through the protest shifting his hips up to get some friction with his painfully hard cock. 

Ben hums not convinced and sits up, lazily straddling him again. “ I think we need to practice more with our esteem.” 

Callum places his hands on Ben’s love handles. “ and what does that entail? “ 

“ more action, less verbal. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is what you wanted and wasn’t too cringe!!   
I have no idea about smut so i really was just going off fics ive past read ( you know, Robron/Ballum fics ).


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #79 - Dennis having a mental health or sexuality crisis or some sort of issue and Ben and/or Callum finding & helping him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Jess_2304 x

Ben sat next to Dennis and laid backwards copying his step brothers position. “ what’s up? “ 

“ nothing. “ Dennis grumbled. 

“ I know your lyin. Is it dad? “ 

Dennis shifted and cleared his throat. “ he’s a shit dad. “ 

Ben tried to hold back the smirk and snarky comment. “ Why’s that? “ 

“ he don’t love me. “ 

“ I’m sure he does. “ more than me. Ben went to say but declined it. 

“ Phils just - always angry and moody and unpredictable. You can’t rely on him as a dad, he ain’t like Sharon. “ 

“ Phil has always been like that. “ Ben went on to say. “ he’s hardly ever been the feelings type of bloke. “ 

“ and is that why you shaped out the way you are? “ 

“ what’s that meant to mean? “   
Offended. 

The younger man looked awkward. “ Well you a criminal ain’t ya? You murdered Heather, you do dodgy deals and kept pushing that Callum away. “ he listed heavily. “ You don’t like talking bout your feelings and you do the hard man act and make people scared of ya becos your threatening. “ 

Ben couldn’t help but look hurt hearing all the things that he has done. The last part really stung, people are scared of him? He’s threatening and people don’t want to be around him? He doesn’t want to be like that, like some sort of monster. 

“ The way I am - it’s because of Phils doing. “ a bit of a bold statement. “ He was always hot and cold with me, and I felt like I needed to win praise, acceptance and to be the son he always wanted. “ 

“ and you ain’t? “ 

Ben sighed, sadly. “ no. “ 

“ because your gay? “ 

“ Partly Yeh. “ 

“ so what’s the other reason then? “ 

“ I ain’t like a cold robot I’m I? As you may think I am. “ Ben bitterly said. “ Phil struggles to be affectionate. I think he has his own troubles with his own brother, and parents and whatever. But he loves you in his own way. “ 

“ I don’t want to end up like him.” 

“ no ones telling ya too. “ 

“ but you have. Bet you didn’t want to end up like a wanted criminal? “ 

“ I ain’t wanted. “ he frowned. 

“ no but when there is bother - the bobbies immediate thought is you because of your track record. “ 

He sighed, he really wasn’t expecting to be grilled by a teenager today. “ Dennis, I’ve tried to help ya and all you have done is offended me. “ 

The younger lad smirked. “ sorry Ben but you gotta take the truth. “ 

He hummed pissed off. “ Be more like Sharon, den. You have all the other Mitchell’s apart from dad. “ 

Dennis sighed. “ I don’t want to be the odd one out. I’m a Mitchell and I ain’t like you or dad. “ 

“ You don’t have to be. Callum ain’t like his dad or brother and look how he’s shaped out to be!” 

“ I do love you Ben, I’m sorry for saying about your past. I know your tryna be better. “ 

“ it’s alright. “ He shrugged. “ I know people won’t ever forget what I’ve done but I’m just wanting forgiveness or civilness.” 

Dennis chuckled. “ you can always beat it into people. “ 

“ you cannot beat people for that reason. “ 

“ but it’s okay for a valid reason? “ Dennis smugly asked. 

The other Mitchell rolled his eyes. “ It ain’t okay full stop. Now, is that all you wanted to talk about? “ 

Dennis nodded. “ I just don’t be like you or dad and if there’s anything you two would do - don’t do it. “ 

Ben patted him on the back. “ Good thinkin. But you will have to do something for me now. “ his voice going ( fake ) stern. Dennis sat up looking worried. 

“ do what? “ 

“ Well you can’t possibly think I was gunna let ya, make those comments, freely without any consequences do ya? “ 

“ what do you want me to do? “ Dennis gulped nervous. 

“ you in the Arches 9am on the dot tomorrow. “ 

“ no Ben-!” 

“ And you going without pay. “ 

“ the whole day?! “ 

“ 5 whole days. “ 

“ No! It’s fucking borin! “ 

“ 7 days. “ Ben changed the date limit. 

“ Piss take. “ 

“ 14 days. “ 

Dennis looked like he wanted to argue more and sighed heavily. “ fine. “ 

“ good chose. “ He smiled brightly. “ right I’m starvin - you want a bacon sarnie? “ 

“ fine. “ Dennis grumbled, watching his brother go and privately smiled to himself. He’s secretly happy to be spending time with his big brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not completely what you wanted! I didn’t want to do another metal health one or sexuality crisis. I just wanted both Ben and Dennis talk about their feelings, but i wrote Dennis being blunt and bit harsh! As I think he can be like that?


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #81 -prompt 2/2- Callum proposing to Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Enya189 xx

Callum pats down his dark navy suit in the opposite long length mirror and sighs nervously. This is the day where his and Ben’s life will change forever, positively or negatively and Callum hopes it’s the first than the last option. He has been thinking of proposing for 7 months now. He did not want to rush into things, not like Whitney, because Ben deserves planned. 

And that’s why Callum has put on his best suit ( and Ben’s favourite suit on him ) with the dark red tie for a stand out look.  
And in recent weeks Callum has let his hair grow out and decided to have it gelled back, with a bit of ‘mess’ to it. 

He looks like a model. 

“ Daddy Callum? “ Lexi calls out to him, standing by the door frame playing with her fingers hesitantly. 

He turns to his step daughter and smiles softly. “ Yes pumpkin? “ 

“ Are you going to ask daddy to marry you today? “ Lexi quietly asks him. Callum picks her up and places the youngin on his left hip. 

“ yes sweetheart. “ Callum agreed. “ You haven’t changed your mind have you? “ he feared. 

She shook her head, whilst biting her lower lip. “ I don’t want things to change though. “ she insecurely stated. 

“ why would you think that sweetheart? “ 

“ Because you and daddy are getting married and I don’t want to be - to be pushed out. “ her eyes welled up slightly. Callum made an ‘o’ mouth shape and sat down on the bed. He threaded his fingers through the blonde hair. 

“ You will not be pushed out sweetheart, you will always be daddies little girl okay? You will always be my lexi. “ 

“ Even if you start a family? “ 

Callum nodded firmly. “ you will always be our Lexi and you’ll be a big sister or brother won’t cha? Your future siblings need to be taught how to do the floss don’t they? “ he joked and smiled wider when the girl giggled. 

“ I can’t believe you two don’t know how to do it. “ 

“ Well we’re oldies ain’t we? “ 

Lexi laughed making her head hit gently against Callum’s upper chest. “ I love you daddy. I can’t wait for the weddin. “ 

“ he ain’t even said yes yet! 

“ he will. He loves you daddy, I can see the love in his eyes every time he looks at yew or talk bout ya. “ Lexi explained to him, sounding a lot more mature for a 10 year old. 

Callum felt pathetic for feeling emotional at the sincere statement. “ I love him too. “ 

-

Ben didn’t have a clue what was going on. All he was doing was eating a bacon sarnie and drinking black coffee ( when he supposed to be working ) and he gets summoned by Callum. That he needs to put on his best clothes and meet him at this fancy restaurant in London. 

And when Ben asked what was going on Callum was being secretive. 

Ben doesn’t like being left in the dark but he is rather intrigued to find out. 

-

“ You look very dapper sir! “ Ben grinned cheekily pecking his boyfriend on the cheek. He sat down opposite him in the told restaurant and looked round again. Dim lights, romantic music plus candlelight tables. 

“ you don’t look so bad yew’self.” 

“ so what’s all this in aid for then? “ Ben questioned as he took a sip of his ice cold larger. 

Callum shrugged and tried to take away the nervous smile. “ Just wanted some time together. “ 

“ Bet ya got us a dark room ay? “ he sniggered. “ And a romantic hotel room where we can have long passionate sex on a heart shaped bed. “ 

“ I - er - Have actually but not the heart shaped bed. “ 

Ben genuinely looked shocked and started to look sicken. “ I ain’t missed an anniversary ‘ave I? “ 

God he’s doing this all wrong. He is terrible at planning and doing this all - he should’ve just stuck the ring in Ben’s hand and told him ‘will you marry me’ to save the embarrassment. 

“ what? No no! I just wanted ya to have a nice time. You deserve this. “ he reached over and held Ben’s smaller hand. “ love you. “ 

Ben’s eyes twinkled. “ I love you too baby. “ “ but you look very nervous. “ Ben knew how to read him. “ is it becos you’re worrying bout the bill? “ 

Callum chuckled and chilled slightly. “ Of course. “ 

And before they could continue their small talk. the waiter comes to their table loving his job. “ what would you want sir?” 

“ Well that’s the part when you ask us if we had menus? “ Ben sassily said. Callum squeezed his hand to calm him. 

The waiter boredly handled them both the menus. “ I’ll be back in 10 minutes. “ 

“ and please do return with good social skills! “ Ben half angrily stated watching the poor social skills man leave.  
“ the cheek of him! Bet he didn’t get a good shag and that’s why he’s so sunken! “ 

Callum bit back a laugh. Which failed. “ Ben! “ 

“ what?! “ Ben’s face open and free. “ he looked like a had a lemon up his arse! “ 

Callum giggled and Ben smiled more at the beautiful sight. The dazzling orange and yellow making Callum look dangerously sweeter and hotter. 

“ You can’t say things like that Ben. It’s rude! “ 

Ben sighed and defeated. He brushed his foot against Callum’s leg and looked at the menu. “ What the - what’s a co-q a-u? Vin? “ Ben was hopeless at pronouncing it. 

“ Coq au vin? “ Callum pronounced it like that ‘foreign’ word was just any other regular, simpler wording. 

“ How can you pronounce it. So effortlessly? “ 

“ I’m upper market than you.” He fired back still looking at the posh dishes. 

“ right I might have the -? Cassoulet? “ 

Ben rubbed his forehead feeling a migraine develop. “ I’m too common for this place. “ 

“ Aw don’t say that! “ Callum rubbed Ben’s hand. They are that couple, they haven’t even realised they’ve been holding hands the entire time.  
Callum has really grown since that period when he was too afraid to say the word gay. 

“ I’m gunna ave the same as yew. “ he sighed. 

“ If I like it, you like it? “ 

“ Yep. “ Ben popped the ‘p’. “ should we order some Oysters?” 

He scrunched his nose up.  
“ they’re h’orrible but elp yourself to the disgustingness. “ 

The food came 20 minutes later and they ate their food in comfortable silence. Now and again they commented on the food and Ben was truly shocked how nice the - Cassoulet was. He described himself as posh now. 

And then the Oysters came and Ben wanted to shrivel up like a slug. “ that’s disgusting!!! “ he heaved and gagged. 

“ told ya. “ Callum smugly smiled. Ben held up one of the Oysters, the most filled one. “ try it. “ 

“ no thank you. “ 

“ go on try it! “ Ben made the Oyster closer to Callum’s lips, not caring that he is being ‘ rude ‘ and is getting filthy looks off the too posh for fun people.  
Callum very reluctantly eat the Oyster and felt his stomach come back up. 

“ and now both of us have experienced it! “ Ben clapped his hands together in joy. 

“ I already experienced them though. “ He exclaimed. This night is going amazing. He’s nearly forgotten the reason why they are here. 

“ but you have experienced the experience I have experienced though and that makes our experience better. “ 

Callum laughed at Ben’s logic and smiled. This is the time now. When they are both drunk on happiness, when they have done a lifetime of PDA in the restaurant.  
Callum gets the black velvet box and slides off the platinum coloured chair. Ben frowns at him confused. 

“ you not havin a heart attack are ya? “ 

Of course Ben would say that.  
“ no I ain’t havin a flippin heart attack! “ 

The room fell into silence. The music softly fading and all eyes on them. Don’t fuck this up Highway. 

Callum is visibly shaking but he’s holding it together whilst standing on one knee. “ Ben, when I met you. I wanted to learn more bout ya, I was invested the minute our eyes locked together. “ his voice wobbled with nerves. Ben couldn’t look away from him, feeling his own chest tighten. “ you was a right teasin prick. “ everyone smiled and laughed but especially Ben. “ but I was fallin in love with you, I accepted you. And all the times we had our lows. I didn’t care - well I did because you was annoying - but I just wanted you. You saw me and just me and didn’t want anything else. “ 

Ben chuckled, wiping a tear away from his eye. Callum grabbed his hand and held onto it. “ Cheque to say, but I fell in love with you the minute I saw ya. And ever since, I have kept falling in love with you and keep discovering you. “ 

“ well I am highly loveable. “ Ben spoke out, he didn’t sound recognisable. 

“ And that’s what I love bout yew. Your ego answers for you. I love how your a family man, you’ll protect your family at whatever cost. You have a heart of gold even when you have negativity bout ya self. “ 

Callum took a deep breath, ignoring the few tears falling down his cheeks. “ I will keep loving you, keep showing you that you are worthy of love! I will love you when your old and grey and when we’re both too fragile to move. “ 

Ben hiccuped on a sob. 

“ I won’t ever stop loving you because you are my soulmate. So, will you, Ben Mitchell, marry me? “ before he added. “ Becos you’ve wrecked me for every other bloody man! “ 

Ben wetly giggled and pounced on his now fiancée. “ Of bloody course I’ll marry ya!! “ he kissed him heavily, pulling away for Callum to slide the platinum grey ring on Ben’s wedding finger. He stared at it and stretched his hand out admiring it. 

“ it’s beautiful babe. “ Ben whispered looking up at Callum who’s smiling like crazy. Only now realising the whole restaurant was whistling and clapping and smiling like crazy too. 

“ for the engaged couple!! “ The two waiters handled them both very expensive champagne. 

“ thank you. “ The two couple thanked before sitting down. 

“ I can’t believe we’re getting married. “ Ben is gobsmacked. 

“ me too. “ Callum’s eyes have never been brighter, he never felt like this with Whitney. 

“ I think we should get that hotel room? I ain’t gunna lie, I really want shag the bones off ya whilst seeing my ring. “ 

Callum smirked. “ Come on baby. “ he kissed Ben’s knuckle and went to the bar to pay beforehand. But the manager shook her head with a pleasant smile. 

“ no no. It’s on us tonight. You two need saving for the weddin!l She announced. 

“ But how much did it come too anyway? “ 

“ £250.69. “ 

Callum is glad they are getting it for free. 

-

Ben rested on Callum’s wet chest tracing the ring. “ I love you Mr Callum Highway - Mitchell. “ 

“ I love you too Mr Highway - Mitchell. “ Callum kissed his head, then forehead and lips.  
Ben slowly got up from the king sized bed and straddled his soon to be husband. He kissed along all the length to Callum’s lips and heavenly sucked on his neck. 

“ I can’t wait bein your husband and I ain’t gunna fail ya. “ 

Callum plastered his hands on Ben’s waist and kissed him hard on the lips. “ you won’t ever fail me. “ 

This is for life.


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #82 - Luke is alive and he comes back. Ben is scared and Callum protects him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Krl96 x

Ben is walking through the square holding his black coffee in a okay mood. Life has been going okay recently, his businesses going legit and actually booming at the moment. Himself and Callum are solid too, they have never been so close and since Callum’s therapy sessions dealing with his PTSD. He is some what ( nearly ) mentally stable too. 

Lexi is living in Callum’s flat to add the mix. They are a proper little family now, who cook homemade food together and watch Disney movies whilst singing terribly. Ben loves it. 

“ Oi Ben! “ 

He freezes to the spot. The cardboard cup nearly cracking in half. 

He’s back. He can’t be. 

“ Aw Ben, dont look so scared! “ The man exclaims with mock mixed in his voice. He firmly turns the frozen Mitchell around and chuckles at Ben’s panicked -but frozen - face. 

“ what - why you ere? “ 

Luke’s eyebrows go up and grins. He still hasn’t removed his tight grip from the nearly shorter man’s shoulder. “ I wanted to see you! “ 

“ w-why? “ 

He frowns, pretending to look confused and broken but really he is loving the control and the power of making Ben small and weak at the spot. 

“ I ‘eard you got a new fella on the scene. “ 

The vulnerability washes away and points threatening at the man. His ex control freak.   
“ Dont you talk bout him! “ Since the Keanu business, Ben has become very ( more ) protective of Callum. 

“ oooo. “ Luke steps back raising his hands in mock surrender. “ touchy ay? Thought ya fellas therapy is meant to calm him? “ 

Ben wants to be sick. “ how do -?” 

Luke laughs at Ben and it makes the other man want to crawl away into a hole. “ It’s all over the news init? How he had this massive fanny breakdown. “ all of this - how Luke is talkin. He is mocking his Callum and Ben just wants to run back to the flat and protect him against the monsters. 

“ He’s traumatised! “ he defends Callum. Angry that he has to even explain. 

“ Bit like you then? When I beat ya up a few times and controlled ya? “ 

Ben clicked his jaw. “ You was abusive. “ 

“ Just because you can’t handle intense relationships. “ 

Ben took a stern step forward, backing his shoulders backwards and squaring up the man. 

“ You was controlling and thought you could manipulate me. You thought ya could use coercive behaviour but I ain’t weak no more. “ 

“ You done with your preaching?” Luke had a bored expression on. 

“ You stay away from me and me boyfriend or I’ll get Phil again. “ Ben saw a very slight flicker of panic in Luke’s eye. 

“ And what’s daddy gunna do? Beat me up to a pulp? “ 

“ If that’s what it takes. “ 

Luke scoffed. “ Nice try benny. “ he patted Ben’s cheek and 3 seconds later Ben knocked his hand away angrily. “ I’ll be back and may even say hi to your new boyfriend. “ he winked and walked away. Ben felt his heat batter against his chest and quickly ran home needing to be with Callum. 

He comes into the living room and Callum is watching television. He looks peaceful, nearly the same bloke Ben fell in love with. But the hesitant and anxiety is still lingering and Ben hates it. 

“ only me babe. “ Ben smiles and tries to keep his voice casual and not to startle Callum. 

Callum weakly smiles and gets up to hug Ben from the waist and kisses him on the lips softly. “ You s’uppsed to be in work? “ 

Ben hummed and really tried to breath deep but his brain is working million miles a minute. “ I just wanted to see me boyfriend that’s all. Ain’t allowed? “ 

“ nah course you are. “ that’s the glimpse of the old Callum and Ben is nearly brought to tears. “ you locked and latched both doors? “ his thumb goes around in circles on the back of Ben’s rib. 

Shit. “ I’ll do it. “ Callum pulls away and walks to the doors, checks every angle and behind door to check if it is just them. 

Once Callum is bolting up the flat Ben lets himself deflate. How is he going to mention this to Callum? He is obviously going to notice the slacken face and anxiety on Ben isn’t he? But he don’t want to cause Callum to relapse after 3 months of being - okay. 

“ You want lunch babe? “ Callum asks him, walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. “ We have - enough food for a salad? “ 

“forever the healthy eater. “ Ben rolls his eyes. If he ignores the worry ‘bout Luke - he’ll be fine. Callum needs stability and Ben is not going to be the one to wreck that. Not again. 

Once Callum gets all the ingredients out. Ben slides his hands around his tall boyfriend waist and kisses his neck. 

“ You need some meat on ya.” Another, amongst other things, ben is concerned about. Callum was already skinny but now losing 3 stone, he looks ill. 

“ Hmm I’m fine babe. “ Callum turns in his embrace and cradles Ben’s face and repeatedly kisses him. “ You wanna eat lunch or ave me for lunch? “ 

Ben giggles. “ I think you’ve read my mind darlin. “ 

-

The moon shines through the curtains onto Callum’s soft face. He sleeps on Ben, side of face and arm resting on Ben’s chest and stomach as he breaths softly. 

Ben’s awake hearing for anything abdominal. This is what he did the first few weeks but now he is scared of Luke coming back. He doesn’t want to look weak because that will drive Luke closer to them. 

That’s why he needs to tell Callum. If they communicate, they will be stronger. 

“ baby? “ he whispers shaking his lover awake. 

“ mmmm. “ 

“ Baby, Cal - Callum. “ 

“ M’what? “ he moaned. 

“ I need to talk to ya. “ 

“ can it wait? I’m sleepy. “ Callum grumbled, nestling his head back into the soft, warm place where he felt lay asleep. 

Ben brushed Callum’s long hair away from his forehead. “ no it can’t baby. “ 

Callum groaned in annoyance and got up slightly rubbing his eyes at looking through his swollen sleepy eyes at his anxious boyfriend. 

“ what’s wrong? “ 

“ my ex is back. “ Ben justified. “ He used to be a- abusive. “ 

“ Abusive how? “ Callum quietly asked shocked. 

“ Controlling and just beat me up few times. “ Ben murmured, playing with Callum’s fingers before looking to at him. “ but I dunno why he’s come back babe. He - he knows bout ya. “ 

Callum’s eyes widened and felt his chest immediately close up. “ H-how?! “ 

“ the news. Headlines. Articles.” 

Callum gulped, flashes of his breakdown coming full force. His screams scrabbling into his brain. 

“ but I won’t let him near ya okay? “ 

“ How can you be so sure? “ 

“ because I’m gunna protect you. “ 

-

A few weeks later Ben and Callum walk past the car lot with their arms joined together. They have nearly forgotten about Luke and being on the look out but when Ben tenses up. Callum trues to remember his breathing exercises. 

“ Oh! This must be the tapped boyfriend! “ 

Ben’s face darkened. “ he ain’t tapped -!” 

“ At least I ain’t a controlling prick! “ Callum barked at the man. 

“ You gettin ya knickers in a twist for! You need to take ya meds? “ 

Callum untangled his arm from Ben and stepped forward ignoring his boyfriend tugging him back. 

“ You leave us alone. We’ve done nowt to ya! “ 

Luke smirked. “ I just wanted to say Ello! See how’s the weak boy doin but I see he’s supporting a headcase of a boyfriend instead. “ 

“ just becos I ave me issues don’t mean you can discriminate me ! “ Callum defended himself just fine. “ you fuck off and live your sad sorry of a life. Becos -“ Callum steps closer again, gaining the control. “ - if you was so happy you wouldn’t be back ere would ya? You are obviously lonely and felt you needed a ego boost. But you ain’t gunna wreck me boyfriend no more and I don’t wanna do my army training on a skinhead like yew! “ 

Luke took it on the chin and left. His face hardened but eyes failing him. Ben gently clapped Callum on the shoulder proud. 

“ wow. Babe that was - didn’t know you had it in ya. “ 

Callum blushed, wrapping his long arms around his proud boyfriend. “ nobody is allowed to upset ya. I will protect ya headcase or not. “ 

Ben did a slight huff of disapproval. “ you ain’t a headcase. “ 

Callum pecked him on the lips and then nose smiling when Ben giggled. “ Love you. “ 

“ love you too - my hero. “


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #85 - aftermath kidnapping. Set when Callum comes back home after a week in hospital and is different.

Ben finally has him back. After so long, of the dwelling tiresome nights and days. Ben finally has Callum back and when he sleeps on his left side opposite Ben sleeping peacefully. He cries softly. Callum shouldn’t be cut and bruised or blooded and broken or frightened and mentally damaged. He should be - Callum. The dorky soul, full of happiness and love and giving but not receiving. How Callum once quoted himself “ I’m used to being lonely but I like people. “ that’s Ben’s Callum. That sociable human being who loves talking to others and is painfully selfless. Keanu wrecked him. 

It has been a full day since Callum came home. Since he lasted a week in hospital and Callum has already changed within those 4 days. Callum is quieter now, distant and observant. The shine and bubbliness has evaporated into nothing. Ben is glad Keanu has died. 

Callum whines in his sleep, shifting and frowning slightly with his distant shakes. Ben is already on the alert and gently shh’s him, stroking Callum’s cut cheek and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. 

Ben won’t be sleeping tonight. 

-

Ben’s face is bright but tight when Callum hobbles into the living room out of the bedroom. He clutches his side in pain but battling on through it. 

“ You need your meds babe? “ 

Callum nods shortly, stumbles to the kitchen table and sits down not making a single comment. “ ‘ere you are. “ Ben tried helplessly to fill the awkward silence. Highway takes his strong painkillers and Ben decides to sit next to him linking their hands together and pressing kisses the knuckles. 

“ How are you today? “ 

Callum grimaces at the pain when he shrugged. “ No different.” Came the ruff voice. 

“ You’re still a little dazed - maybe u need go back to hoz-“

“ no! “ Callum immediately said.   
Then regretted it by Ben’s flinch.   
“ Sorry. I mean no. “ 

“ I ain’t forcin you. “ Ben stroked Callum’s skin. “ Last night you slept well. “ sounded more like a question. 

Callum nodded, smiling shyly at Ben. “ Had you there didn’t I? “ 

Ben chuckled. “ forever the protector. “ 

A cloud goes over Callum’s eyes. The memory of him falling unconscious and talking to his dad, Whitney, Ben, Chris and the captain. It scared him. The dark and cold and the animals and creaks of sounds made him lifeless. 

“ Callum? “ Ben repeats, edging closer to his eye line. It seems to bring him out of his little trance. 

“ Er Yeh? “ 

“ are you okay? “ 

No. “ yeh fine. “ 

Ben hums not convinced. “ You want brekkie? “ 

Tiredly he nods. “ That soft food again? “ 

“ it seems so mister! “ Ben says too brightly. “ You know your cheek bones and throat is fucked. “ 

“ they only said for few weeks. “ 

“ yes temporary damaged then.” Ben presses a kiss to Callum’s forehead and goes to make his breakfast. Callum slumps in his position and becomes unfocused, going back to that day of him greeting death. 

Callum lying on the concrete ground helplessly starring at the far away wall. He couldn’t move, the metal bar stuck on his leg trapping blood circulation. He was frozen in time, feeling the life slowly drain out of him.   
He knows he was alone but Stuart, Jonno, Whitney and Chris were there talking to him but then they weren’t. 

He kept shouting for help but no one came. He was going to die alone and never be found. He will just be a lost memory and won’t ever find peace in the afterlife. Did he deserve this? Just because he was unable to save that Mother ( from the army )? 

“ Callum? “ 

He didn’t know if it was real or not. He has been hearing so many voices for so long he can’t see reality from fiction. Reading Between the lines. 

“ Callum! “ 

He groans and whimpers calling for help, even to his own ears he sounds far too weak. Like when you are dying and all you have the strength to do is whisper. 

“ Callum can you hear me?! “ 

Callum wakes up to Ben’s panicked face in his and Ben’s smaller hands digging into his bruised shoulders. 

“ Callum are you with me?! “ 

He nods slowly, wincing and feeling dizzy and his stomach churning. “ Y-Yeh. What ‘appened? “ 

“ you had nightmare. “ Ben answered. “ You was whimpering and callin for me and talkin. “ 

“ m’sorry. “ 

Ben sighed softly, moving his hand to Callum’s jaw and stroking the soft skin. “ don’t worry baby. You thought you was back there? “ 

Callum nodded, fragility. “ I don’t like bein like this Ben. “ he told him quietly. 

“ I know, talking helps. “ 

Callum tried shrugging him off but Ben didn’t let him. “ Or writing things down? I dunno wot to do baby. “ 

“ I don’t want talk bout it. “ Callum snapped before slowly getting up from the wooden chair. “ I’m goin back to bed. “ 

“ but you haven’t had your breakfast. “ Ben quickly stated, standing helplessly near him. 

Callum shrugged. “ then I eat it in bed. “ and off he went, shoulders hunched over going back to bed. Ben sighed softly watching his indifferent boyfriend changing in front of his eyes and he can’t do anything ‘bout it.


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #86 - “ They’ve got jam everywhere! “ 
> 
> Ballum children!

When Callum has placed Abi, Emma and Oscar on the wooden stalls where the kitchen counter was. Callum was having a internal breakdown. 

They are making a Victoria Spongecake, for Ben’s birthday. The little ones suggested it, wanting this massive cake to show their love for their daddy and Callum more than happily to volunteer to do some baking.   
Till, Abi managed to redecorate the kitchen with jam, Oscar thought the flour was snow and wanted to play in the ‘ snow’ and Emma wanted to cover Oscar in whipped cream thinking he will look like a snow man. 

“Stop the madness! “ Callum couldn’t hack it anymore, sounding like Phoede off Friends. 

All three kids stopped magically. Callum could laugh at their frozen faces but in reality they haven’t heard daddy Callum sound so strict their lives. 

“ You’ve made a massive mess and now you’ve wrecked your clothes. “ Callum continued to say. “ go and get undressed and I’ll put the hot water into the bathtub. “ 

Abbie pouted, Oscar looked sad and Emma disappointed. Callum felt like the Grinch but if he was a softie all the time, their children will be spoilt wouldn’t they? 

Callum looks at the catastrophic mess and muttered to himself, “ they’ve got jam everywhere,” loads of dark red sponges covering the farmhouse creamy colour counter and red tiles on the floor. The flour and butter, bits of eggs on the edge of the unit - Callum wanted to cry. 

After 90 minutes of washing 3 hyperactive children. They were washed and clean and sitting happily watching the telly, whilst doing some colouring work. In that time Lexi had contacted him saying she’ll be back at dinner time with the extra cake and presents.   
And now Callum is left to be the housewife. He doesn’t mind it to be fair, he loves staying at home looking after the offsprings, then cooking and doing the wash-

He’s a housewife. He needs accept it, he is basically a house cleaner. 

“ Daaddyy!?” 

“ yes?! “ Callum calls still scrubbing the glued in jam from the floor. 

“ Can we get a dog?! “ Abbie randomly called to him. 

“ anything you want princess! “ 

“ What about a Cha-“

“ noooo! “ Oscar whines from the background. “ I want a Husky! “ 

Emma gasps. “ I love Huskies! “ 

Callum butts into their conversation still in the kitchen. “ We’ll discuss it more later on Yeh?! “ 

“ O-kay Daddy! “ 

Callum sighs, practically seeing his reflection in the tile. Ben should be home any second now. 

“ I’m home! “ Ben sings, closing the door and walking to his children pressing a kiss to each one of their foreheads. “ how are you lot today? “ 

“ We’ve been really good! “ Abbie smiles widely. 

“ hmm. ‘Ave you? “ 

“ yeh! “ Oscar shouts. 

“ And Daddy is cleaning up! “ 

Ben chuckles, ruffling their hair before carrying the small food shop into the kitchen where his lovely dearest sits. 

“ ‘ello baby. “ Ben slowly kisses him, cupping his light scruffy jaw. “ you ‘ave flour in your hair?” 

Callum just smiles. “ Welcome back to the madhouse. “ 

Ben scoffs and brushes it out of the brunette locks. “ why you been baking for? “ 

“ A surprise. “ 

Ben clocks it. “ It aint for me birthday is it? “ 

“Now, would I want to waste my whole day baking a cake especially for you with our kids and have a breakdown afterwards? “ 

“ Yes. Yes you would Cal. “ 

Callum grumbles, but still wrapping his long arms around the other man’s waist and pressing kisses to Ben’s neck. 

“ How was work? “ 

“ you know the usual - boring. Thinking of you today beautiful.” Ben smiles softly, looking into Callum’s ocean blue eyes. Cheeks turning a soft rose colour. 

“ Good I hope. “ 

“ you turnin 35 - old man. “ 

Callum frowned whilst looking seconds away from correcting Ben. Which he does. 

“ But you are 5 years away from 40 ain’t cha? I’m 9 years away from 40. “ 

“ yeh alright Ben. “ Not too pleased then. “ Lex is coming back from her sleepover and is greeting us in time for dinner. “ 

“ Charmin. Only using us for food and then buggering off again. “ 

“ gunna be worse when she’s older Ben. We’ll barley see her.” 

Ben shook his head dismissing that concept. “ our little girl won’t grow up. I’ll forbid it. “ 

Callum snorts. “ Keep her like how Tangled was treated? “ referring to the Disney princes in that tall tower, long floaty blonde hair towering down to the price charming. 

“ Maybe. Maybe I won’t. “ 

“ Gotta let her ‘ave her phone then. “ Callum knowingly states, before pulling away from his husband. “ Time to get the tea in the oven then - “ only ben pulls him back and pushes his knee in the V of Callum’s legs. 

“ wait, hang on, ain’t cha got me anything for me birthday? “ 

Callum mischievously smiles. “ Gotta find out won’t ya? “ 

Ben raises an eyebrow. 

“ Hint; Big and long. “


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #87 - Set during this canon era. Callum has his PTSD nightmares and the past come to haunt him and even when he becomes conscious, he is still in his trance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this when I was bored and hope I have done it justice?

Callum violently sweated, shaking & turning left and right, left and right. 

“ DON’T LEAVE ME KEANU! “ 

Ben jumped awake, sitting up trying to calm him. 

“ DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! “ 

“ baby wake up. “ 

Callum whimpered. “ I don’t wanna be on my own. “ he shuffled closer to Ben then backin away, repeating it as he pushed and pulled Ben with his hands. 

“Callum -“ 

“ I’m sorry dad! Don’t ‘urt me! “ 

Jonno battered Callum. Hitting him and punching and kicking him till Callum became quiet. 

‘ your just like him. ‘ Ben. ‘ your tainted. ‘ 

Whitney slapped Callum across the face. ‘ you wrecked me - if it wasn’t for you, Leo wouldn’t be ‘ere! ‘ 

“ Callum please wake up- it’s just a nightmare! “ 

“ don’t hurt me anymore Keanu!” Callum cried in his deep sleep, tears rolling down his nose and cheeks. 

‘ why should you live when I’ve lost mine? ‘

“ Keanu dont - !“ 

“ 3 “ 

‘ GOGOGOGO’ The captains scream. 

“ Stop! “ 

‘ ExPLOSION! ‘ 

“ 2 “ 

‘ FIRE! ‘ ‘ puff ‘ he spits. 

“ 1 “ 

BANG   
‘ BANG! ‘ 

‘ I WANT MUM! ‘ 

“ NO! “ 

Callum screamed awake. Lungs failing him, heart beating 200mph, sweat dripping off him. He can’t feel anything. A white noise. 

“ Callum, can you ‘ear me? “ 

Callum breathed in like he was in the cold air, gasping for fresh oxygen. “ Mum. “ 

“ baby, look at me. “ Ben sounded broken. 

Callum’s eyes glazed over. He slowly turned his aching neck and looked at the frightened Ben staring back at him.   
His mouth moving but nothing was heard. 

“ B-Ben. Save me. “ 

“ you’re already are saved baby, you need to wake up. “ 

‘ Times up lad. ‘   
‘ MICK! ‘ 

Callum flinched away from him.   
“ I don’t want too! “ he shouted at Jamie ( army colleague ) over Ben’s shoulder. 

‘ do it! ‘ 

“ Please leave me - leave me alone! “ Callum scrambled out of the bed, falling on the ice floor before running into the living room. It was dark, too dark, like in that warehouse, dimly lit. 

“ Callum, come here. “ Ben dug his fingers into the flesh trying to get him out his continuing nightmare. It was like all of Callum’s senses aren’t even working. 

‘ You ain’t gay. ‘ 

“ I am dad! Please save me! I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry! “ Callum cried into his knees on the floor. 

‘ WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LIVE?’ 

“ I didn’t mean too. “ 

‘ Halfwit. That’s all you are - and you will always be stupid. ‘ 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

“ Callum fucking look. At. Me! “ Ben growled shaking him, digging nails further into Callum’s shoulders. He doesn’t want to hurt him but - he can’t sit there knowing Callum isn’t ‘in the room. ‘ 

Callum jumped back into the counter with a sharp intake of air, shocked, overwhelmed, tired - depressed. 

“ Ben? Are you - why are you ‘ere? “ 

“ We’re at home baby. “ Ben softly answered, stroking Callum’s jaw. “ You’ve been in a severe nightmare. “ 

Callum didn’t respond, looking around their surroundings with a frown. “ why are we on the floor? “ he let out slowly. 

Ben let out a breath. “ You was talkin to someone - and you just ran off terrified. “ 

“ who was I talking too? “ Callum sounded more and more confused. 

“ Someone in your head. “ He hated how blunt that was. Ben noticed Callum shivering, goosebumps raising on the surface of the skin. “ You want to go back to bed baby? “ 

“ I don’t like the dark. “ Callum instead let out the confession. 

“ Why? “ 

“ bad things happen in the dark.” Callum sounded like a little boy. “ Keanu ‘urt me so much in the dark and I was all alone for hours, days in the dark. “ his chin wobbled. “ I had - I had animals and insects all over me. “ he shook violently remembering the little legs crawling over him, the little taps on his skin and he couldn’t do anything but injure it. 

Callum started crying at the distress. “ I don’t like it! “ he starts rubbing at his arms seeing and feeling little bugs on him. “ get them off me! “ 

Ben held onto Callum’s wrists making him look straight at Ben. “ There is nothing on you Callum. It’s your mind tricking on ya. Just breathe. “ 

Callum shook his head. “ I don’t want to be alone Ben! They were going to kill me! “ 

“ Keanu was the only one there?”

“ and the animals and insects and parasites. The ghosts! “ 

“.....the...ghosts? “ 

Callum thumped into the side of his head. “ In ‘ere! They want to kill me! “ 

How does Ben calm him down without sounding patronising?   
“ Callum, maybe we should talk about this after yeh? When you’ve slept properly becos I think you’re still half asleep. “ 

Callum whimpered. “ I don’t want to alone. I’m scared, I - had to sleep on that cold ground and I had to be wrapped in a small ball. “ 

Ben stroked Callum’s cheek, wiping away the tears. “ You ‘ave me Callum. You aint alone no more, you can sleep with me.” 

“ and you won’t ever leave me again? “ 

Ben pretty sure he just heard his heart crack. “ I won’t ever leave you again baby. “ Callum seems to trust him and let Ben guide him back to bed.   
Callum rested his head on Ben’s chest and wrapped his arms around the Mitchell’s waist like it was a life line. He soon fell unconscious with Ben stroking the brunette hair being crushed by guilt. 

I’ve done this to him. I’ve completely broken him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I have written anything incorrectly - I apologise!


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #89 - Ballum banter and smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m watching early 2018 Callum Halfway and GOD I love him I do! Bloody naive, gullible - idiot. But he has a good heart.  
Funny that Ben was appearing at the same time when Callum was on but they never interacted!  
Looks like 2019 Ben thought Callum had grown up & looked fitter than 2018 Callum😂
> 
> But I am so glad that he has had a character development and grown intellectually and physically too

Ben rolled his head onto Callum’s chest and slowly stroked him. “ What was the weirdest moment you’ve been involved in? “ 

“ Errr - think the time I had a tampon up me nose? “ Callum answered like that was completely normal. “ but I’ve had other weird -“ 

Ben frowned sitting up and looking at his boyfriend with sheer ‘ what the fuck? ‘ expression. 

“ Oh Yeh - “ After realising his utter bluntness and knowing the context of what he said. “ I shot Mick. “

“ Why? “ Ben reinforces his confusion. 

Callum shrugged his shoulders, slowly tracing his fingers along Ben’s arm. “ I was caught up in some stuff. “ 

Ben laughs out loud not noting Callum’s confused face. “ You? In “ stuff? “ come off it. “ 

“ what?! “ Callum challenges. “ I can be a hard man as well. “ 

Ben laughs harder. “ Yeh you can Cal - but arousal and bein a criminal are two separate things! “ 

Callum grumbles and mimics What Ben just said childlike. “ I was in the army. “ he later added. 

“ Yeh cooking sausage rolls and gettin steamy over the pans! “ 

Callum fully sat up now and crossed his long arms over his chest fully offended. “ I did manual handling as well - I have you know! “ 

Ben got off him and kneeled, sitting on his feet and mocking Callum still grinning widely. “ What? Carrying sausage rolls to one department to the other? “ 

Callum started to get frustrated but honestly loving their banter.  
“ I sometimes went into the field and ‘elp the soldiers. “ 

“ By giving them food? “ 

“ By carrying guns and shooting the enemy. “ 

Ben turned serious. “ What really? “ 

Callum nodded. “ yeh. “ he slightly over exaggerated it. “ I ain’t just a chef you know. “ 

Ben closed smiled at him, rubbing Callum’s thigh. “ I know babe. I barely know your time in the army in fact. “ 

Callum dilemma changed slightly and Ben hated to see him become uncomfortable. “ you don’t have to tell me. “ 

Callum forced a smile and pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips. “ Another anecdote for another day. “ Callum gently pushed Ben back on the bed and straddled his waist. “ But I’m very - “ Callum said slowly, whilst taking his time stroking the whole length of Ben’s front body. “ - very offended that you was mocking me for my capabilities.” 

Ben visibility swallowed, rocking his hips up, boxers getting tighter by the minute. “ And Er - What you gunno do ‘bout it baby? “ 

Callum slowly sucked on Ben’s too sensitive nipple, making the man moan out loud and rocking his hips right up against the bed. 

“ I’m gunna make you regret ever laughing in front of my face again. “ Callum heatedly threatened, biting the tip of the tit before sucking again and squeezing Ben’s tight balls. 

“ Oh my god Callum -“ Ben made the loudest moan he’s probably capable of.


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #92 - Part 2 of chapter 91!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the ones that wanted a second part like this? I wasn’t sure what ppl expected or wanted?!! But I feel I’ve done it justice and is as good as the last chapter:)

It has been 2 days since they both announced Callum’s pregnancy in the Vic. Everybody was completely shocked but regardless congratulated them and buying the drinks in ( Ben got bit tipsy and Callum had lovely orange juice ).   
Mick and Linda hugged the life out of Callum and told him Callum can go to theirs for baby advice and can ask any questions he or Ben have.   
Ben wasn’t used to such love and acceptance from people before, Phil barely seemed thrilled but Kathy, Lola and jay supported massive grins. A new member of the Mitchell/Beale family. 

And now, after going into London for a day out with lex and shopping for baby items and accessories. Lexi in bed in Paul’s old bedroom and Ben laying on Callum’s chest in their room. 

“ At least you didn’t have a major disease and wasn’t just getting fat without a cause. “ Ben voiced his thoughts, trailing his hand on Callum’s tummy. 

“ I’ll still get fat. “ 

“ Yeh but you know your eating for two and not just bein a greedy bastard. “ 

Callum smirked. “ You’ll still fancy me babe. “ 

“ even if you crush me. “ 

Callum jokingly slapped Ben’s chest. “ When I’m 8 months pregnant I couldn’t even lie on ya! It would hurt to much - even now it’s delicate. “ 

Ben rolled up and looked at him.   
“ I know. “ he ever so softly said. 

“ I can’t believe i can get pregnant though. “ Callum stated amazed. “ I didn’t know I was a carrier and that one time we don’t use protection. You make me pregnant. “ 

Ben’s ego was thrilled. “ Knocking 2 people up without even tryin too. Me swimmers must be strong. “ 

Callum scoffed. “ Of course your ego will talk for you. “ 

Ben kissed Callum’s throat. “ of course baby. “ and then getting up to straddle Callum’s thighs. He put both hands either side of Callum’s belly and rubbed it.   
“ I never got the chance to do this with Lola. “ 

“ what? Straddle her? “ 

“ no you plank! Experience the pregnancy with her. I weren’t there when she had lex and I only bonded with her when she was little bit older. “ he regretfully stated. “ But with this little one -“ he smiled, more to himself, going down to kiss Callum’s tummy just top of his belly button. “ - I can go through all the moments of seein he or she grow. Watching you blossom and lookin beautiful. “ 

“ You won’t be saying that when I’m ‘bout to pop. “ 

“ I will Cal. You’ll always be beautiful to me. “ 

Callum looked away not being able to look at the sincere in Ben’s face. He knows he means it, whatever compliment Ben makes about him is from the bottom of his heart. And Callum can’t listen to it, his self esteem not letting him savour it. 

Ben shuffled forward and cupping Callum’s jaw with one hand, slowly stroking his cheek with one thumb. “ I hate seein you look insecure. “ Callum didn’t know what to say. But his eyes betrayed him. 

“ i love you. I will always love you “ Ben confessed his heart to him. “ Not so long ago I was scared that in the future we could never ‘ave kids. “ Ben started off saying, getting everything off his chest. Callum listened, he didn’t have a clue how Ben felt about children with him. “ - becos of me track record of crimes, me bein a criminal & a Mitchell. I thought I’d hold ya back. But now, knowing you can become pregnant? “ Ben now smirking after he let his walls down only for Callum. “ I can take full advantage of that and your gonna be a baby machine popping them out like tennis balls. “ 

Callum burst out laughing.   
“ oh my god. “ he scrunched up his face creasing. Ben wanted to kiss him even more. “ A baby machine?! “ 

Ben nodded, rubbing Callum’s baby belly. “ knowing me swimmers are Athletes. It’s gunna tempt me into wanting a bigger family. “ 

“ and you definitely want that? A family with me? “ 

“ Yeh of course I do Callum. Why would I not want that? “ 

“ Becos I’m me. “ He insecurely told him. 

“ You will be an amazing dad, no doubt ‘bout it. “ 

“ But we’ve barely discussed where the baby is going. There ain’t enough room ‘ere. “ He feared. 

Ben shrugged. “ We make room. ‘Ave the little one in ‘ere. “ 

“ but they’ll start growin up and wanting a bedroom -“ 

Ben started getting ready to speak whilst putting his hand on Callum’s chest to calm him. “ Babe, stop worryin. I’ll work more, get more deals done - legit- and when the baby is born. I’ll ‘elp ya, we take in turns with the baby and work for few days. “ Ben reasoned. 

Callum was some what settled with that logical plan but still felt uneasy. “ but I don’t want us bein distant. “ 

“ If we let it happen, but we will talk. And we have Lola, Jay, mum, or ‘ave Billy lookin our them. We ain’t alone babe, but If your really stressed out. We can make a schedule and ‘ave some time to ourselves. Yeh? “ 

“ Who knew Ben Mitchell could think of perfect fucking plans? “ Callum partly joked, looking at him. “ shame that you can’t be the same with illegal stuff. “ he cheekily added. 

Ben gasped. “ Oi! “ 

Callum giggled. “ Only partly jokin sweetheart. “ 

“ Hmm you better. “ 

Callum slid his hands down underneath Ben’s boxers and felt the semi hard on twitching with delight. Ben moaned out at the touch. 

“ Babe not tonight - lexs only next door. “ 

“ I know - just want tease ya. “ 

Ben shot him the glares. “ Don’t you dare get me railed up. “ 

Callum pouted, rubbing both of Ben’s balls giving them a squeeze. “ but baby - “ he tugs gently. “ - you love me handling you? How you can orgasm from just my touch. “ 

Ben’s breathing quickened and deepened as his cock grew in Callum’s hands. “ Baby - please.”

“ please what? “ Callum cockily said. 

“ I - just - I need you. “ he couldn’t form a proper sentence, Callum’s thumb going over the slit as his other fingers squished Ben’s balls playing with them. 

Callum hummed, rubbing Ben’s whole length making pre cum come out of Ben’s penis. Ben loves but hates that Callum can make him react like this. Just from his touch alone can make him come like a desperate whore - but let’s face it, he is for Callum. 

“ I know you want to come for me Ben. “ 

Ben whimpered, sweating lightly as Callum quickened the pace of his hand. “ I don’t want come in me boxers -“ 

“ Your already a dirty little slut anyway. “ Callum dominantly told him. Since finding out Ben’s little dirty sex talking kink. Callum has been trying to be the dominant one, and so fair he enjoys taking control making Ben shiver and whimper just for him. 

Ben breathed out, stretching his head back as his cock has reached the limits of hardening. Rock solid. “ P-please baby - just let me come in your mouth.” 

“ Either come in your boxers or wank yourself off. “ 

“ no! “ When Callum started to pull away. “ I need your hand on me. “ 

Callum smirked wider, doing his work and when Ben’s whole body tensed up and his cock twitching. Callum made one final movement and he cummed in his boxers. The front of the grey pants having a massive wet stain on them. Ben didn’t care, breathing out a content sigh. 

“ Dirty little whore ain’t ya. “ 

Ben lied on top of Callum and kissed him. “ Only for you. “ he whispered against his lips. “ Are you okay with me on ya? “ he didn’t want the baby to be hurt. 

“ No I’m fine. “ 

“ I love feelin your bump against me. “ 

“ Ben Mitchell do you have a pregnancy kink?! “ 

“ New discoverings. “ Ben joked.   
“ I have the Callum Highway Kink. “ 

Callum snorted. “ You do come up with some bullshit. “ 

Ben just smiled. “ Love you too honey. “ 

Callum pecked him on the lips.   
“ You stink of spunk. “ 

“ Your fault. “ 

“ Only becos you have no sense of self control. “ 

Ben kissed him again, shutting him up. 

-

Callum was now 8 months pregnant. Heavily pregnant. All preparations have been organised and they ( and everyone else ) were ready for Mr or Ms Mitchell Highway to join the world.   
Ben stuck to his promise and organised a schedule for who wants to baby sit, when Callum&Ben can work, have time together and which one will spend the days with the new born whilst the other works.   
Callum couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend or soulmate. 

And now Callum sits on the sofa with his biggest hoodie on in a mood starring at the blank tv.   
Ben has gotten used to these moods and results to teasing him because it’s funny. Apart from the time Callum hurled an object at his head and Ben had to duck. 

“ what’s the matter Mr Blobby?” 

“ Fuck off Ben. “ No hesitation involved, Callum’s voice dangerous. 

“ Why you in a grump for? “ Ben asked him, getting him something to drink. 

“ I’m not. “ Callum snapped. 

“ Moody. “ he muttered. 

“ Moody! I’m mindin me own business Ben! “ 

“ You want to calm down babe, don’t wanna pop before your due date. “ 

“ Leave me alone. “ 

Guess this is worse than Callum’s other mood swings. Ben instead left it for a little while. He made Callum some marmalade on toast and placed the plate on Callum’s massive stomach. 

“ what’s that? “ Callum clearly said. 

“ Toast Callum. Marmalade on toast. “ 

“ I can see that - but why is it placed on me? “ 

“ Your obviously hungry. “ 

“ I’ve eaten enough as it is. “ 

“ ahh. Your in a mood becos of your weight. “ 

“ Oh well done Sherlock. You must be so proud of coming up with that fucking conclusion. “ 

“ you aint even that big. “ 

“ IM MASSIVE! “ 

“ Only because you have a 8 month baby in you. “ 

“ And I’m fucking eating for 2! “ 

“ Yes Cal, well done on your very simple mathematics. I know your shit at it like but god -“ 

Callum jabbed him in the side. Ben gasped as his long finger went between the gap under his rib. “ that ‘urt! “ 

“ I can do it harder if you like.” 

“ stop bein grumpy. “ Ben demanded, taking one slice of toast and placing it on Callum’s lips. Who starred at him with evils. Ben cocked an eyebrow and silently told him to eat it. 

“ good boy. “ 

“ It’s cold. “ Callum stated the obvious. 

“ That is what happens when you don’t eat your food fast enough. “ 

“ Sorry for bein grumpy. “ Callum sounded guilty. He cupped Ben’s jaw. 

“ It’s okay, I know your bound to have these moments. “ 

“ Don’t mean you have to deal with them. “ 

“ No but I want too, becos I love you and whatever problems you have are mine. “ Ben supported him. “ but at least you ain’t thrown a book at me this time. “ 

“ And I did apologise. “ 

“ yes but there’s a dent in the wall now but that’s okay. “ 

Callum sighed. “I want to go somewhere. “ 

“ Go to the river? “ 

“ can’t be bothered getting up. “ 

“ let’s go telepathically then. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #95 - Ben is really suffering with his hearing whilst Callum is missing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Enya189 x

Ben walked into his boyfriend’s flat and hung his coat up on the hangers. He spent the day with Lexi, going to the park and having some fish & chips with ice cream away from Walford. He wanted some bonding time with his daughter but not hearing her voice or anything made his mood dampen. 

So he’s come in a bit late, 18:20. He walks further into the apartment and finds Callum watching a show. “ Hey. “ Ben says with a weak smile. 

“ alright? “ Callum looks at Ben saying it slowly. “ how was the beach? “ 

Ben nods his head, plonking himself down next to him, puts his hand on Callum’s thigh. “ Good. We had fun. “ 

“ There weren’t any trouble? “ 

Callum was worried when Ben first said he was going somewhere away from Walford. He had this protective urge to go with him before biting himself for not letting Ben have his independence. Just because his boyfriend has a impediment does not mean he isn’t capable of doing tasks he used to do. 

Ben shakes his head and then nods the television seeing different people talking. “ What you watching? “ 

Callum shrugs and turns his gaze back to the tv. “ Some show. “ 

Ben shorty nods feeling weirdly left out. That he can’t hear it.   
“ Can you put the subtitles on? “   
Callum does so and they sit in silence. Ben rests his head on Callum’s shoulder smiling to himself feeling Callum laugh at a joke. Even when the words come up on the screen it’s not the same than actually hearing the joke. 

Ben’s mind wonders over the last few weeks. It’s been 2 months since his hearing diagnosis and on the waiting list for the Cochlear implant operation. He been scared that Callum and him would drift apart, as much as Callum dismisses this. Ben feels the gap between them. They used to be very physically active when Ben could hear, now since he is completely deaf. They haven’t had any sex.   
Does Callum not want him no more? Does he find Ben unattractive? Is Ben a burden? 

Before Ben knows it he feels 3 fingers under his chin and his head is turned right to look directly at a worried Callum. 

“ Are you okay? “ 

Ben forces a smile. “ fine. “ 

Callum frowns not convinced.   
“ You sure? “ 

Ben takes a big breath and sighs heavily and reaches over to the remote control. To switch the tv off. 

“ We need to talk. “ 

“ Okay? “ 

“ I don’t want to lose you. “ 

Callum frowns about to speak but Ben applies a finger to his lips and fades the creases away in his forehead. 

“ You ain’t the same with me no more. “ 

“ I haven’t changed? “ Callum almost sounds like he is reminding himself that. 

Ben nods his head softly. He doesn’t blame him. “ You have Cal. “ it feels so sad. Callum’s chest feels like he has a ton of bricks on him. “ Your different, you ain’t even realised. “ 

“ tell me then. “ 

“ You are too careful with me. You act like I’m gunna break just becos I can’t hear. God I do appreciate this but - all these websites and research you’ve done to support me. It’s changed your mind - about how you act ‘round me. “ 

Callum’s dips his head guilty.   
“ I’m sorry. “ Ben frowns not knowing what he said he knew he said something by his lips moving. He can tell by Callum’s body language that he apologised. 

“ I just want me Callum back. “   
Who looks back up and says he’s always been ‘ere.   
“ why don’t you want have sex with me? “ Ben bluntly asks him, nearly aggressive. Callum immediately looks uncomfortable and is about to move away but Ben stops him with a firm had to his knee. 

“ tell me. “ 

Callum takes a deep breath, hating that he’s going say this.   
“ I’m worried it won’t be the same again. I don’t want either of us to feel - awkward ‘bout it. You used to love the noises I made, how I screamed ya name or moaned. But now you don’t know what I’ll be sayin - I don’t even know if you’ll be lookin at me or I’ll forget to look at you. “ 

A lump forms in Ben’s throat. His insecurities becoming true. 

“ And I don’t want to sound like I’m discriminating ya or something. I’m just worried. I’m worried that our sex life will drive us apart. I knew we used to love lying next to each other and talk bout stupid stuff. But -“

“ your over thinkin this babe. You ain’t even tried it with me. “ 

“ but the first few weeks - I weren’t avoiding it. I was in pain with me ribs and bruising and fractures -“ 

“ but as the weeks went on you didn’t want me no more? “ 

“ ..... it weren’t like that. “ 

“ then how was it?! “ 

“ I don’t want you bein sad that you don’t feel physically closer to me! I don’t want you hating yourself more becos of your deafness! “ Callum exhaled, raising his voice. “ don’t even say to ma I don’t notice becos I do Ben! But the things I’ve been reading - it says that it is sometimes better to leave your partner alone sometimes. “ 

“ why? “ 

Callum shrugs softly. “ To deal with everything- and I don’t want to be a hassle to ya. “ 

“ why would ya? “ 

“ I don’t know. I love you too much to lose ya and I think that’s why I’ve kept a distance. Thinkin you’ll break up with me again thinkin I don’t luv ya or something. “ 

“ Both of us are insecure softies ain’t we? “ Ben says softly, feeling his insides warm. He strokes Callum’s thigh. “ Actions speak louder than words Cal. “ 

“ I’m sorry baby. “ Callum cups the man’s scruffy jaw. 

“ I know you are. Both of us need to adapt with this - I know it won’t be easy but just find new ways of communicating more. “ 

Callum leans forward and pecks his boyfriend’s lips. “ love you. “ far away enough for Ben to lip read. 

“ Me too. “ 

They will be them again. Ben & Callum know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben is already struggling on the show so I didn’t want this chapter to be basically the same on EE.   
So I’ve altered it and is set 2 months ahead with both of Ballum having insecurities and talking about them.


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #96 - Ballum spend time with Lexi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Enya189 x

“ Daddyy?! “ 

“ yes princess?! “ Ben calls back from the sofa of the Beale’s living room. 

She runs down the stairs and flies into her dad who winces from the weight and impact.  
“ Can we go to the beach with daddy Callum? “ 

“ ‘cause baby. “ Ben texts Callum and nearly 2 minutes later he replies. “ looks like we’re all goin to the beach sweetheart. “ he runs his fingers through Lexis hair. She smiled brightly. 

“ I’ll get me wellies! “ 

Ben frowns. “ why do u need wellies for lex? “ 

“ to go into the sea to collect crabs daddy. “ She tuts and then disappears upstairs. 

Ben - u may need wellies Cal. 

Callum - why? 

Ben - collecting crabs apparently 

-

“ I love to be by the seaside! “ Lexi sang along the waves crashing into the sand with her spade and bucket swinging by her side. Callum and Ben held hands as they walked 20 steps behind their daughter eating their shared chips. 

“ this is lovely you know. “ Callum commented, referring to the strong smell of sea salt and the chips being dangerously tasty. 

“ should be for that price. “ 

“ Don’t be like that babe. “ 

Ben shrugged but he had a smirk on his face, picking up a large chip and sliding it into Callum’s mouth. “ You love the long ones baby. “ 

Callum choked on it laughing and it made Ben laugh more. “ and you also choke on the end of the long ones too. “ 

“ Little annoying prick ain’t ya. “ he nudges Ben’s side. 

“ One of me charms baby. “ 

“ Daddy I found a shell! “ Lexi held her shell with pride grinning like a Cheshire Cat. 

“ Good girl lex! Find more for daddy and you’ll get some chocolate and ice cream! “ she gasped and ran along far away trying desperately to get some more. 

“ don’t go too far Lexi! “ Callum called after her. Before turning to Ben who was looking at him with a soft smile. “ what? “ 

“ Your really good with her. “ 

Callum blushed. “ I ain’t - I’m just her dads boyfriend-“ 

Ben stopped him. “ never say that again. Do u ‘ear me? “ he firmly stated. “ You ain’t just her dads boyfriend. Your her second dad too okay? “ 

Callum nodded, still bit hesitant. He wrapped his arm around Ben’s and carried on walking. “ Maybe we should ‘elp her find some fossils ay? “ 

“ and sell them on eBay for profit. “ 

“ muppet. “ he mutters. 

Lexi watches the waves splash against her legs watching the water drip down the wellies. Ben and Callum stand beside her and enjoy the calmness. 

“ Dad used to take me and Stu to the beach. “ Callum started off. Ben wasn’t expecting him to talk about jonno, he rarely spoke about their childhood. 

“ oh yeh? “ Ben prompts on. 

“ Did he buy you ice cream daddy Callum? “ Lexi looks up at him. Callum smiles. 

“ Brought us some orange juice as well. “ 

“ Gotta get that vitamin C ain’t ya babe?? “ Ben jokes. 

“ Did you make any wishes Callum? “ 

Callum nods, still looking out at the line between the sky and the sea. He has always been fascinated by the sea. “ Yeh I did. “ he says it emotionlessly. 

“ what was it? “ Ben asks him,when he went quiet. 

“ I will be happy one day. When I found happiness. I should go back to that very beach and bring me happiness with me. “ 

Ben looks touched. “ which beach is it Daddy Callum? “ Lexi curiously asks. 

“ this one. “ 

“ what really?! “ Lexi gasps. 

Callum nods his head and picks her up, putting the 9 year old on his hip and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Ben joins in and slips his arm around Callum’s shoulders and rests his head on the shoulder. 

“ And you will be stuck with that happiness forever. “ Ben adds on, kissing Callum’s neck just under his ear. 

“ And dad used to make us throw one shell into the sea. To make another wish. “ 

“ and what will that be? “ Lexi looks at him. 

“ it won’t come true if you say it out loud lex. “ Callum tells his step daughter. 

“ can we do it? “ 

“ ‘cause. “ They get one shell each and throw their shells into the sea watching them plop in. 

“ And what happens now? “ Lexi seems confused. 

“ we wait for our wish to become a reality. “ Ben answers. 

“ But How long will it take? “ 

“ Ones who wait are more likely to get their wish. “ Callum wisely said. 

“ That’s a good quote daddy. “ Lexi seems inspired. 

Ben chuckles and tightens his grip on Callum. “ He’s a wise man ain’t ya darlin? “ 

Callum laughs. “ Ain’t really. “ 

“ I’m hungry. “ Lexi says out of the blue, becoming bored. 

“ We can get something in that nearby restaurant? “ 

Callum puts her down back into the wet sand. “ Yay! “ she cheers. “ can I get more shells first! “ 

“ Yeh come on. “ Ben holds hands with her and make their way to the restaurant. Whilst Lexi swings hers & Ben’s joined hands as they walk, Ben’s free arm is looped with Callum’s. 

“ what you said was really sweeting. “ 

“ it wasn’t really. It was just nothing. “ 

“ it means something to you which makes it important to me.” 

Callum embarrassingly smiles.   
“ Dad was good when we was younger. “ 

“ what happened to him Cal? “ Lexi hear drops and automatically makes a comment. Ben squeezes Callum’s hand for comfort. 

“ Mum left us. That’s when he came different. “ 

“ was he sad daddy? “ 

Callum nods his head, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. Hating how he has so easily become emotional. “ I think so darlin. I think he just really missed mum. “ 

“ Well don’t worry! Everyone’s a bit sad sometimes! “ 

And the beach is filled with echoes of laugher. 

-

Lexi’s legs swig on the stall as she eats her chicken nuggets and chips. Ben bites into his cheesy beef burger and chunky chips, Callum doing the same. 

“ what was Phil like when you was a child dad? “ 

Ben stills for a second before swallowing. “ the same as he is now. Grumpy. “ he half jokes. It’s not even a joke but he don’t want Lexi to see her grandad differently. 

She frowns not satisfied with his response. “ did he take you to the beach? “ 

“ no. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ don’t know lex. He was busy back then and I hardly ever went anywhere apart from Walford. “ telling the story of South Africa untold because it’s too complicated for lex to know. 

“ Well That’s boring. “ 

Callum smirks into his burger but doesn’t say anything.   
“ Sometimes but I had me mates. “ 

“ I’ve got loads of mates! “ Lexi proudly states whilst chewing with her mouthful. 

“ don’t eat with your mouth open. “ Ben tells her off, catching Callum’s look because ben acting bit of a hypocrite. He nudges Cal with a playful glint in his eye. 

“ I’ve had a really nice time I ‘ave. “ Callum tells them. “ Nice to get away from the square sometimes. “ 

“ hmm. “ Ben hums in agreement. “ Nice little bonding sess ain’t it? “ 

“ we should go to the zoo! “ Lexi voices her idea. 

“ Or go into London and ‘ave look at the sights? “ 

Lexi squeals. “ We can go the London eye and the museums! “ 

“ Maybe we can do that next week? “ Ben asks his boyfriend, nearly nervously. If he wants spend more time with them. Ben doesn’t know why he is still insecure about Callum and Lexi. 

“ Yeh! ‘Cause! Could even stay in London if your lucky. “ Callum raises an eyebrow and smiles at Lexis excited face. 

“ yeh!! “ 

“ lex indoor voice. “ 

“ thank you daddy Callum! “ 

“ no problem sweetheart. “


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #97 - Can you do one where Callum & Ben go on holiday together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Kate x

“ We should go on holiday. “ Ben tells him. 

“ Where too? “ Callum replies, frowning slightly but his focus still on texting his army mates. 

Ben shrugs, rolling into his head and hugging Callum in bed. “ Somewhere abroad? Just the two of us bein our first holiday together. “ 

“ Aw how sentimental. “ 

Ben pinches Callum’s side laughing as he jumped. “ Wot ‘bout Paris? “ 

“ it is nice there. “ 

“ you’ve been?! “ 

“ yeh? Went with me army training mates. “ Callum explained glancing at him before seeing a new message pop up in the corner of his eye. 

Ben pouted. “ You went to the most romantic place with your army mates? Did ya go the Eiffel Tower and get a little smooch in? “ he joked. 

“ No but I had peck on the cheek and even got a baguette with cheese and ham. “ 

“ ...fair enough but why? “ 

“ I was hungry and someone gave me their food. “ 

“ Well babe I’m expecting more than a peck on the cheek and a sandwich. “ 

“ your wish is my command! “ 

-

You can rarely make Ben Mitchell speechless and Callum should get some sort of honour award for reaching this achievement.   
Callum had booked them 2weeks in Paris, all all inclusive and it was fairly cheap too. The hotel being 4stars and their room was - wow. Exactly what Ben said when he walked into the actual hotel then the large room, a massive double bed that looked like The Heavens designed it. The balcony view was astonishing. You can see the city and if Ben jumped on Callum wrapping his legs around his waist kissing the life out of him. 

Only them two need to know. 

-

Both men walk down the levels of the hotel and go into the large room area for tea. When they enter, classical French music greets them with massive stacks of food forcing them to eat. 

“ Babe, if I get fat. Will you still love me? “ Ben asked him being deadly serious. The hams and cheeses then the fruits and breads. He wants to stay here forever. 

“ Honestly I’ll be fat with you and I’ll still love ya. “ 

They found a table and munched away at their food. Till Callum brought over snails. 

“ nah you havin a laugh?? “ 

“ nahhh! It’s a French classic. “ Callum handed his boyfriend one who damm right refused.   
“ more for me then. “ Who shrugged and eaten the snail. 

Callum heaved, spitting it right out. Ben laughed at him smugly. “ told ya. “ 

“ How the fuck do they eat this?! “ 

Ben ripped off the roast chicken off the leg with his mouth. “ Different breed babe. “ 

“ I have never felt so violated in me life. “ he goes on to say. 

Ben frowns with the half chicken leg in his hand mid in air. “ So the time when you was taken hostage and got your human rights & dignity taken off ya. That was better than that snail?” 

“ ...well no...” 

“ Right then. Snail up. “ Ben grinned, pushing them over to his dramatic boyfriend. 

“ If you force these upon me again you ain’t gettin no anal. “ 

Ben gasps mockingly. “ Both of us know you ain’t so innocent in the desperate sex department. “ 

Callum blushed. “ Gotta wait and see ain’t ya. “ 

“ well whilst I’m waiting I’ll be gaining me body weight in food.” 

-

“ CAL-L-LUUMM! “ 

“ WHAT?! “ 

“ IVE GAIN WEIGHT - FUCKING HELL -“   
Callum got up from the bed and strolled into the golden, blue bathroom to the sight of Ben butt naked starring at his reflection in the mirror. 

“ What do you expect? “ 

Ben was offended. He turned around and put his hands on his widened hips. “ what’s that supposed to mean?! “ 

“ Well it’s all inclusive ain’t it? Bound to gain bit of weight ain’t ya? “ 

“ Bit of weight does not suit short people! “

“ at least your admitting you are short. “ 

“ that’s not the point Callum! “ 

Callum bit back a comment and kissed him. He hugged his short boyfriend and stroked his back.   
“ You have got some back rolls.” 

Ben smacked his arm. 

“ But some swimming will ‘elp ya babe. “ 

Ben sighed into Callum’s chest.   
“ do you still fancy me? “ 

“ Of course I do baby. Where I’m I gunna get me little cute blob from? “ 

“ You ain’t exactly stayed the same weight too hypocrite. We both gained weight. “ 

Callum pecked his lips and smiled. “ Tomorrow we shall walk the streets of France and have some exercise apart from sex. “ 

“ Sex was always a good way of exercising. “ 

“ Who said we can’t have sex in public? “ 

Ben raised an eyebrow. “ Like your thinkin babe. “ 

-

“ I’ve never seen such a beautiful sight. “ Callum stared out looking at the Eiffel Tower. 

“ thanks babe. “ Ben’s ego talks for him. 

“ the tower Ben! I’m talking bout the tower! “ 

“ Knew you had a size kink - you always love the large things in life don’t ya? “ Ben laughed. “ You deep throating me -“ 

“ we’re in public! “ 

“ They’re French! They won’t know I’m talking bout ya deep throating ma! “ 

“ knew I shouldn’t ever taken ya on holiday. “ 

“ aw come on Cal, dont be like that. “ Ben slid his hands around Callum’s next, locking his hands together and pecking him on the lips. “ love you. “ 

“ suppose I love you too grumpy.” 

“ I am grateful you taken us ‘ere.” Ben complimented him. “ I do appreciate it really. “ 

“ I’m glad. We both deserve it. “ 

Before Ben can kiss Callum again a tourist comes to them. From what they can tell she is a photographer. 

“ hello sorry to trouble you but I’m a photographer-“ 

“ don’t want a life story love. “ Ben interjected. 

She throw him a filthy look and instead talked to Callum. “ - and I take pictures of people. When you two was hugging and kissin - I taken some snapshots of the two of you. “ 

“ you what?! “ Ben angrily said. “ we never given you permission! “ 

“ but I was going to tell ya and send you the pictures. I was wondering if I could put them on me university portfolio. “ 

Callum rubbed Ben’s back calming him. “ let’s see ‘em. “ 

And to be far. The images were outstanding. Ben & Callum looked beautiful, love radiating off them with the Eiffel Tower in the background and them in the middle. They taken copies.   
When Ben did apologise to the woman, both men made their way back to the hotel. 

“ models. She said - we look like models. “ Ben’s grin nearly came off his face. 

“ I think she was over exaggerating babe. “ 

Ben stopped him from walking.   
“ MODELS! “ 

“ Think you’re gettin bit excited.” 

“ you really should take compliments seriously. “ 

Callum looped his arm around Ben’s and kissed him on the cheek. “ I do - I just decide to ignore ‘em as they ain’t true. “ 

“ Looks like I’m gunna show ya how wrong you are again. “ 

“ by doin wot baby? “ 

“ slow, deep & loving shagging with ya. “ 

Callum couldn’t help the smile on his face. “ Whilst I see the city of Paris in my eyeshot. “ 

“ and me leaking cock in front of ya - i will be the view. “ 

“ Don’t think you’ll be a better sight than Paris babe. “ 

And how wrong Callum was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you were expecting something more but I didn’t want this to be long and just wanted to do snapshots of their holiday. I hope their banter & jokes weren’t too cringe-y!! 
> 
> Hope people liked this regardless though and thank you to all the supporters/readers/commenters and prompt senders!!


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #98 - Can you do one where they send smutty texts to each other and then it ends up with them talking on the phone? Really hot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For AnonymouslyAnonymous x

Ben was bored out of his brain. The Arches paper work halfway completed and all cars done and dusted. Now he has to do the loathing part of his business- sorting out figures. 

His phone pinged with a new message and dully picked it up before raising his eyebrows in a direction skyline. 

Callum - I want you 

Ben’s mind immediately going down in the gutter. 

Ben - What do you want baby? 

Callum - I want your leaking cock in me mouth and choke me with your massive heavy balls 

Ben shifted in his desk chair, feeling his trousers become tight. Callum Highway being the confident one for a change is a massive turn on for Ben. 

Ben - Do you want to fuck me daddy? Till I’m screaming your name? 

Callum - Till you can barely speak and you can’t stop cumming for me 

Ben stopped texting hastily and rang his horny boyfriend.   
“ Hey baby. “ Ben purred down the phone knowing full damm well he sounds as desperate as a whore. 

“ I’ve been thinkin of you for the past hour. “ 

“ what ‘bout?” Ben unzipped his trousers and sprung his semi hard cock into his hand, stroking himself. 

“ Your hands on me thighs, kissing along the inside & sucking me. “ Callum growled.   
“ Havin you lick underneath me cock and suck me from underneath like the dirty whore you are. “ 

“ I want those anal beads filling you up, me sucking your cock and make you see stars. “ Ben carried on, pushing his head back letting out a small moan. 

“ what would you do to me baby? “ Callum’s voice lowered.  
“ Would you spank me? Make me whimper yew name? “ 

“ I’ll strap ya to the bed, tease ya, rail you up to the point of release and I’ll carry on fuckin you and not lettin yew come. “ 

Ben heard a loud moan down the phone but then hearing Callum recover himself. “ I’m at home. Alone in our bed. “ 

Ben’s eyes widened at the opportunity. “ Waiting for me are you? “ 

“ Hard and wet for you Ben. “ 

“ Bet your stroked yourself to orgasm just thinkin of me weren’t you? Thinkin of me placing love marks all over your body. “ 

“ want you to play with me nipples, make me a whimpering mess. “ Callum sucked on the dildo in his hand deliberately over exaggerating it. “ Ohhh ben - “ 

“ Don’t you dare come -“ 

“ what you gonna do? “ Smug.   
Before jumping 3 inches backwards when Ben appeared in the door frame, a little out of breath from lust and running to the flat. 

“ You gonna regret teasin me. “ Ben growled, taking off his t-shirt, crawling on the bed and straddling his boyfriend. “ Big and wet for me, laying out straight on the bed lookin like a pornstar. “ 

“ what you gunna do to me Ben? “ Callum looked up at him through his long eye lashes, biting his lower lip whilst stroking his long cock with his equally large fingers. 

Ben bent down pressing lazy kisses along Callum’s inner thick.” Beautiful. “ then sucking on the tip of the leaking cock and licking the slit. “ You taste like no other. “ 

“ You don’t know what you do to me. “ 

Ben smirked, slowly wrapping his mouth on the massive thick dick and sucked slowly. He purposely pulled away making Callum groan in annoyance. 

“ Why’d you stop! “ 

Ben shrugged cheekily. “ You ain’t deserved me yet. “ 

Callum’s mouth opened slightly. Role play. “ What you want me to do daddy? “ it slips out accidentally. 

Ben pulls Callum up and puts him on his knees. “ God designed you for me fuckin the life out of you. “   
Ben stroked the whole length of Callum’s back making him shiver, goosebumps coming up.   
The Mitchell man lines his cock to Callum’s entrance and smiles wider than before. 

“ oh Callum - you sneaky boy. Getting all ready for me didn’t ya? “ his finger slid around the wet hole seeing it tense and then clench. “ Your body reaching to me touch, you really are a desperate one. “ 

“ Just fuck me ben! “ 

“ tut tut tut. You was doin so well baby and now you gunna get punished. “ 

Whimpers. “ P-please I’m sorry.” 

Ben kissed Callum’s butt cheek. “ shoulda thought of that before you snapped at me. “ and before Callum had any notice. Ben pounded into him. 

“ AHHH FUUCKK! “ 

Ben went out of role play for seconds. “ Are you okay? “ he sounded panicked. 

“ Just took by surprise. “ Callum muttered, pushing his arse back into Ben’s cock. “ fuck me. “ 

“ Oh baby I am. “ 

-

Callum’s fast paced gasps filled the room along side Ben’s heavy breathing. “ Such a whore you see Callum Highway. “ Ben was amused. 

“ Well I’ve got a fit boyfriend ain’t I. “ Callum exhaustively smiled. “ Didn’t know you was so flexible. “ 

“ neither did I to be honest but that’s what you do to me baby.” Ben kissed Callum’s hand. “ And I’ll be hurtin tom’orrow but it was worth it. “ 

“ I love you Ben. “ 

Ben slowly got up and straddled him but god he felt heavy. “ I love you Callum, your the most special person to me. I love you and - I just - I want to forever shag ya. “ 

Callum choked on a laugh, pushing their lips and tongues together. They passionately kissed, cocks rubbing against each other before the other man stopped kissing. 

“ I want to marry you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am disappointed with this smut. I really ( and I honestly did ) try to write what you specifically wanted. But I’ve never experienced smut and I’m really shit at writing it.   
So I am very sorry that you are probably gutted with the outcome of this chapter. I didn’t not want to write it, but I do hope it is - okay and not that bad??


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #100 - Baby gender reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Millie x 
> 
> One hundred chapters!!!!   
Thank you to everyone for the support and reading these chapters

“ Today is the day babe. “ Callum grins. “ To see which gender our little one is. “ he strokes the bump. 

“ I think it’s a boy. I can feel it in me blood - or well, womb. “ 

Callum snorted. “ I think it will be a girl. “ 

“ why? “ 

“ dad’s gut instinct. “ 

Ben smiled. “ your gunna be an amazing dad. “ 

“ I hope so too. “ 

“ can you cook me breakfast first? “ Ben smiled sweetly at him. 

“ Fruits and pancakes? “ 

“ Perfect. “ 

_

Ben carried on grumbling from the car to the appointment room not happy. “ come on babe, stop bein a grumpy bastard. “ Callum told him off for his sour mood. 

“ you made me drink 1litre of water Callum. I genuinely feel like a swimming pool. “ 

“ It’s better to see our Baby. “ 

“ yeh and it’d be better if I could walk without feeling me insides slosh a bout. “ 

Callum pecked him on the cheek. “ come on. “ and the door opened greeting the nurse. 

Ben was put on the bed and rolled his jumper up. The lady nurse put that horrible gel on his stretched stomach and shot glares at Callum. When the ultrasound monitor pressed deep in the skin making the water move. 

“ Ah ‘ere is the heart beat. That’s what we like to hear. “ she grinned, watching the screen and the blob. 

Ben reached for Callum’s hand and kissed him. Their baby. The heartbeat nearly making them cry. 

“ Do you want to know the gender? “ 

Ben shot a look at Callum double checking. He nodded. 

“ it is a - girl! “ 

“ I knew it!! “ Callum exclaimed loudly. “ I was right! “ 

Ben laughed but subsided. “ Yeh alright calm down. “ 

“ Ah I see i have competitive dads on me hands then. “ the nurse commented amused. 

“ more so than me. “ Ben told her. “ You would’ve thought I’ll be the competitive one. “ 

The nurse smiled politely, going back into professional mode. “ the baby is perfectly fine. No problems I can see. “ 

“ that’s good. “ 

“ Do you want a copy of the scan? “ 

“ Yes please. “ Ben answered. 

The nurse nodded and walked out. Callum still smiled and stared at the bump. “ We’re havin a girl. “ 

“ Gotta talk to Lola ‘bout girls then ain’t we. “ Ben internally groaned but he was excited really. 

“ I can paint her room pink with unicorns! “ 

“ you can’t paint babe. “ 

“ I can do those transfer things.” 

Ben shook his head chuckling.   
“ muppet. “


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #101 - can you do (canon ben) being deaf and callum buys him a bracelet that flashes when callum wants to talk to him, which makes ben really emotional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ballumm x

It has been 2weeks of being completely deaf. It has been 2weeks of silence, seeing people laugh and talk - of Ben being on mute but he can still talk.   
Ben didn’t see the point of getting up this morning. He couldn’t speak to anyone because they would talk too fast or too slow and make him feel different. It made him feel like he doesn’t exist which is too hard to describe. 

Callum soon got up earlier on. He kissed Ben on the neck and then on the head not waking him up. But Ben was awake, he felt the presence leave and then he was left alone in the bedroom. He assumed Callum left because he hasn’t re-entered the flat at all. 

Callum walks in quietly trying not to wake him up. Bless him. Ben tries to shake off the mood and smiles softly. “ Mornin Baby.” 

And when Callum’s whole face lights up it pulls at the heart strings for Ben. “ You had a good sleep? You must’ve been tired. “ he strokes the bed hair away from Ben’s forehead. 

Ben captures few words. “ M’yeh I did. “ and then he notices something is off with his boyfriend. “ wots wrong? “ he gets up slowly and leans against the headboard. 

Callum clears his throat and gets the small bag and awkwardly hands it over to him.   
Ben accepts it but he has a frown on his face. 

“ I - Err went to a shop in London. They ‘ave a special shop for Deaf people. “ 

Ben still looks confused but touched as well. “ What did you get me? “ he says quietly, still sad about his deafness. He don’t think he can completely get over it. 

“ open it silly and ‘ave a look. “ 

Ben glances at him with his head still looking down and got out this blue box. He opens it not seeing the nerves controlling Callum’s features. 

“ it’s a bracelet? “ He doesn’t understand. 

Callum takes the black bracelet out of the box and places it on Ben’s wrist with a click. “ it vibrates when I or anyone speaks directly to you. “ he switches a button on, from the inside. 

“ Does it work? “ 

Ben starred at it for a short while. It buzzes against his skin. Callum takes his silence as a bad thing. “ I’m sorry Ben, I didn’t mean to upset ya, oh god I’ll get a refund -“ 

Ben places his finger on Callum’s lips to shut him up.   
“ Shur-up you muppet. “ he smiles but his eyes water. “ It works. “ 

“ Does it? “ Callum breathes out in relief. 

“ The buzzing - it gets more erratic or goes mild, medium to strong depending on the tone of voice. So when you was having a mini meltdown - it was a fast paced buzz. “ 

“ and what about now? “ in a calmer, gentler voice. 

“ Just a soft buzz. “ 

“ do you like it? “ 

Ben cries softly, getting up and hugging him digging his nose in the crook of Callum’s neck and shoulder. “ It is the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever received. Thank you. “ 

Callum strokes Ben’s back, pulling away. “ I’m glad. “ he says. “ I ‘ave two other gifts for ya. “ 

“ wot? “ Ben’s face falls. “ Callum this must’ve costed you loads as it is! “ 

“ Your worth it. “ 

Ben looks disappointed. “ No Cal-“ 

Callum puts his hand over Ben’s. “ Please just listen. “ he gets another technological object from a bag. “ this is a smart watch. “

“ I can see that. “ Ben snipes smugly. 

“ When somebody talks, it detects it and you can read what they’re saying on the screen. It’s big wide enough to catch every word/sentence. “ 

Ben is overwhelmed. Truly over the moon with the generosity of his boyfriend. What did he do to deserve him? 

“ and you can connect it to your phone or something and ‘ave conversations on the phone. So you ain’t limited and still communicate with the world. 

Callum wiped away Ben’s tears, knowing they aren’t caused by him personally. He switched on the smart watch and set it up within minutes. “ So Yeh - you can enlarge or decrease how big the letters you want them to be. “ 

Ben reads every word. He can hear Callum’s voice in his head and without notice. He completely breaks down. 

Callum tucks him into his chest and softly talks to him calming him and it makes Ben cry more because he can read what Callum is saying to him. 

“ Ca-Callum I don’t know what to say. “ Ben’s voice is hoarse.   
“ nobody has ever done this for me - ‘elpin me feel included in society. “ 

“ I just don’t want you to feel isolated or feel left out. “ Callum strokes Ben’s cheek. “ And the final gift. It’d come in 3 weeks time and it is meant to ‘elp ya for day to day things. To protect ya from danger when you can’t ‘ear it. “ 

Ben slowly kissed Callum’s lips and said quietly. “ But you already do that. “ 

“ when I ain’t around babe. “ Callum answered him. “ I got ya a dog, a fully trained professional dog to keep you safe. To alert ya for stuff. “ 

“ this is too much. You must’ve spent hundreds on me. “ Ben was too guilty. He didn’t deserve all these gifts, he doesn’t deserve help. 

“ You do Ben, you deserve everything and all the money I spent on ya. If it helps to stabilise your well being. I’ll do anything to keep you ‘appy. “ 

Ben whimpered. “ I don’t know how to repay ya. “ 

“ You don’t have to do anything.” 

“ please just tells me how much this stuff has costed ya though.” 

“ I don’t want you to feel guilty and I’ve been saving up and got some money from savings. “ 

Ben knew Callum was trying to cover it up and make Ben defeat. “ How much Callum. “ 

“ £5,378 “ 

“ HOW MUCH?! “ the figure being spent on him is too much. “ Cal you need to get a refund you have wasted too much money on me. “ 

Callum held both of Ben’s wrists and looked at him dead in the eye. “ You are worth every penny and I do not regret it. “ 

“ I’ll repay the money back to you -“ 

Callum shook his head. “ You don’t need to. This is for you. “   
Ben looked at his smart watch and then only noticed the other sensor was buzzing too. 

“ At least take back the buzzer thing. “ 

“ You need it when someone talks. “ 

“ but -“ 

“ no buts. You are keeping it all.” Callum ordered. “ And it’ll all ‘elp ya with work in the car lot and the arches. “ 

Ben was getting used to the idea. It would help. He can still run two businesses without extra help. 

“ and if we go to the E20. You can just read what I’m screaming at ya over the booming music. “ 

“ at least I’ll be the one without ear ache or a bangin headache.” This is the first time in ages. Ben has been able to have a little laugh about his deafness. Only Callum can make him see the positive side to his new adjustment. 

“ I love you Ben. “ 

“ I’ve fallen more in love with you Callum Highway. “ 

Ben clashed his lips to Callum’s, moaning deeply into the kiss. “ let me show you much I appreciate you. “ 

“ you better hurry up then. “ Callum grinned, wriggling his eyebrows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I googled gifts for deaf people and there is hardly any sentimental/thoughtful ones!   
I wanted something that actually makes the person feel valued & loved, not just something they actually need but a meaning behind it. 
> 
> So the smart watch( my idea ) I don’t know if that is a real thing. But I’m making it a real thing. Sensor watch is a really nice idea to alert ppl but it’d give u bit of a fright when you start buzzing and then realise what it is!! 
> 
> The deaf dog idea. I googled and investigated loads and I still do not know if you have to pay or are they on the NHS. So I am assuming you’ll have to pay for them.   
The breed of dog. You can decide. 
> 
> Hope this is realistic and not too fiction-y?!


	83. Chapter 83

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #102 - after Callum gets out of hospital he doesn’t really feel up to eating very much and Ben gets worried so he tries cooking Callum’s chicken pasta for him as a romantic gesture and to help him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For A x

Ben helps Callum up the steep stairs of the funeral home flat and Callum has to stop midway to catch his breath. The injury, on his right hip just above, feels like it is ripping in half and making the old army wound worse. Callum can barely breath, are your lungs meant to feel like shards of glass? 

Ben glances at him again seeing if he is okay and Callum is thankful he can’t hear his own shaky deep breaths 

“ Are you okay? “ 

Callum weakly nods his head and carried on walking up the steps holding his side. You just need walk few more steps and collapse onto the couch. You got this Halfway. 

“ I - you want some water? “ 

Callum shakes his head before changing his mind and nodding. He gets his strong painkillers and thanks Ben when he has returned with the glass of water. 

Ben has never been awkward. He has always known what to do in a situation and make some sort of snarky comment. Even when he doesn’t know what to say or do he don’t show it because that makes him look weak. When he stands opposite Callum twiddling with his fingers awkwardly. He knows only Callum can bring out this reaction in him. 

“ You want something to eat? “ 

Callum is grateful for Ben being here. He really, really is, Ben was all he thought about when he soon accepted he was going die on a cold ground alone. But in this moment right now in pain ( if he had to pick a number from 0-10. He would pick twenty ) and hurting and his mind just aches. Ben’s constant worrying is adding onto Callum’s stress and he snaps. 

“ what is this? Twenty questions? “ He says it clearly at Ben. Who flinches, he doesn’t know which one is worse. Reading Callum’s body language and irritated face or not even hearing him but Callum’s once bright eyes dull & angry. 

Ben looks down at his joined fingers. He knew he is a burden, he was right and even the most loyal ( apart from that era with Whitney - but the reason why is valid ), loving person is getting sick of him now. 

Callum bites his inside cheek in regret. Of course Ben will believe his insecurities and think Callum doesn’t want him.   
Callum moves his hand to catch the deaf man’s attention and he looks back up with a sad face. 

“ come ‘ere. “ 

Ben does what he is told and sits next to Callum feeling odd. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. 

Callum tucks him into his own side and rests Ben’s head on his chest. Callum won’t let his own damaged well being affect Ben. 

He traces ‘ I love you ‘ on the inside of Ben’s palm and pressed a kiss to his head. Ben snuggles more into his boyfriend’s chest and wraps both arms around the man’s slim waist. 

“ I missed you. “ translates to ‘ I love you. ‘ 

Callum grimaces in pain. Ben’s arms perfectly lining up the scattered bruises and cuts, especially his old army wound.   
Callum traces ‘ I know ‘ 

“ Can we just sit ‘ere for while? I want to feel you. “ 

And the pain is bloody worth it, seeing Ben’s peaceful sleepy face in his chest. 

-

5 hours later the boys wake up. Ben slowly pulls away from Callum’s thighs, obviously slid down his body during his nap. Callum blinks heavily too ruffles his boyfriend’s hair. 

“ Think we needed that. “ Ben jokes softly. 

Callum hums, and then forgetting, he traces yeh on Ben’s skin. Ben stretches and walks to the kitchen looking for food. 

“ You hungry? “ 

Callum sends him a text. No. 

“ But you need to eat. “ Ben faces him. 

“ I ain’t hungry. Lost me appetite. “ 

“ Did you eat in the hospital? “ 

A shake of the head. 

“ you ain’t eaten for 4 days Callum! This day included! You must be starvin! “ 

Callum rolls his eyes and huffs.   
“ Oi! Just because I’m deaf don’t mean I lost more of me eye function. Don’t huff at me! “ 

“ you need calm down babe. “ 

“ Callum you need to eat! “ 

“ are you included in that invitation? “ 

Ben blushed. “ if you eat. “ 

Callum held his hand up and got to, joining their hands together to walk into the bedroom closing the door shut. 

-

Callum couldn’t sleep properly. The dark room reminding him of that abandoned warehouse, if Callum can strain his ears enough he can hear the wild animals and water drops echoing.   
Callum turned and a natural smile appeared on his face. Ben slept peacefully next to him, his hands tucked under his chin with his mouth partly opened. Nobody gets to see Ben Mitchell like this, this vulnerable and Callum is privilege to witness and have this moment forever. 

Callum slowly gets up from the bed holding his side and went to the living room window. Walford quiet for a change, no drama, no hassle. Peaceful till the busyness welcomed the residents. 

And if Callum fell asleep on the sofa. Only him would know. 

-

3 days later. 

Callum returned home from doing bit of shopping and socialising with some work done & dusted ( he can’t believe he nearly dropped Mr Davis on the floor ).   
A smell hit him in the face when he entered. It smelt like - chicken pasta? Callum rounds the corner more and Ben, his Ben who is shit at cookin proper food, is cooking chicken pasta. In Callum’s baggy grey joggers ( that are falling and just hanging on his hips ) with Callum’s big hoodie. He looks sexy, especially in his black glasses. 

Callum walks to him and bites himself when Ben jumped nearly a mile away. “ sorry baby. “ he clearly apologised. 

Ben shakes his head in no mock attempt and pressed a domestic kiss to the taller man’s lips. “ love you. “ Callum strokes the hair behind Ben’s ears and leans in again to slowly kiss him. 

“ Missed you today. “ Ben murmured. 

“ Well I’m ‘ere now to keep you company. “

Something about Ben relaxes and the tension or worry fades away. It’s like Callum is his comfort blanket. 

“ I cooked your infamous chicken pasta with that cream. “   
He gestures to the cooking food self consciously. “ The chicken, I brought a already cooked one so you just put it in with the pasta and that cream I tried googling for it but none of them suited your recipe. I put those green herb things in too but I think I have put the wrong ones in and I hope it’s not that bad and the pasta I tried to do that chef thing. Where they don’t break the pasta in half -“ Ben rambled on and on. Only now he looked up at Callum’s amused face. Callum smirked even more when Ben blushed, turning away shyly to turn off the gas. 

“ I don’t get why you always make me nervous, acting like I’m a teenage girl with a massive crush but instead i love you -“ Ben stopped talking, realising what he just said. “ Err just forget that. “ he mumbled, kicking himself mentally. 

Callum brought Ben’s chin to face him. “ You love me? “ 

Ben embarrassingly smiled. “ Yeh - Yeh I do. Sorry I never said it. “ 

“ But I felt it. “ Callum brought Ben’s hand to his upper breast bone where his heart beats. “ this beats only for you. “ 

Sentimental git. “ I don’t deserve you. “ 

“ why? “ Instead of saying “ You do “. 

Ben tried to pull his arm away but Callum joined their hands together. “ because I’m me, a mess and deaf. “ 

“ well I’m bit thick sometimes and a complete idiot sometimes. I also went to the army and dropped mash potato all over the floor & the army dog ate it. “   
Callum recalled the story understandingly in a slower pace. If the captain yelled at the chef’s about the 1 big try of potatoes that could’ve fed 30 people & Highway stayed quiet. They’re not going to know are they? 

Ben burst out laughing. “ Are you bein serious?! “ 

“ yeh i am! Thought I was gunna beheaded but I never got found out. “ 

Ben tutted, standing into Callum’s personal space and placed a slow, long kiss to his lips. “ Naughty Callum Highway.”

Callum slid his hands down Ben’s body before pinching his bum. Ben jumped into him laughing. “ oi! “ 

“ Let’s eat this whilst it’s hot. “ Callum carried on as normal slipping away from him. 

“ You actually gunna eat today then? “ 

Callum turned to him. “ Oh can I not? Ben Mitchell actually cooking & the food looks edible. How can I pass this opportunity? “ 

“ cheeky. “ 

Callum put the food onto the plates equally and put on them both onto the kitchen table. He got out 2 beer cans and sat down. 

Ben took a mouthful. “ Oh my god - this is actually nice! “ 

Callum chewed on his food. “ Even I’m surprised. Well down baby, you can cook me steak & chips next.” 

Ben smirked, twirling the fork in the creamy pasta & chicken. “ Baby steps first. “ he said, not needing a reply.   
Callum tried eating his meal. He really did but after days of no food, being in beautiful pain. He couldn’t stomach this filling dish. 

“ You don’t have to eat it babe, I won’t be hurt or angry. “ Ben noticed his struggle. 

Callum winced. “ I’m sorry baby. I’ll try eating it tomorrow. We can save the rest. “ 

Ben firmly squeezed Callum’s hand. “ It is okay. “ 

Callum burped loudly.   
“ there ya go - made some room now aint ya. “ Ben commented. 

What a pair they are ay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is what you wanted? 
> 
> I’ll try posting another ( different prompter ) request tomorrow which has been written


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 103 - Where it’s Callum’s birthday & Ben organises a birthday party in the Albert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Kate x

“ He is turning 29 mum! I want him to have a fun birthday party! “ Ben snapped. “ No I do not sound like a bloody child! “   
Ben snapped again and muttering quickly he has to go when he heard the front door being opened. 

“ ‘ello babe. “ Ben smiled too innocently which made Callum suspicious. 

“ wot you done? “ 

“ nothing! “ 

“ You haven’t accidentally ripped me comic books again ‘ave ya? “ 

“ no I haven’t ripped your baby books Callum. “ 

“ Ba-Baby books?!!! They are comics about super heros and are unlimited condition from the 1940s! “ 

“... babe, you know how you finally admitted you was gay after making a life in the closet.” 

Callum frowned at the sudden change of topic. “ yeh? “ 

“ and how you admitted you wink with both eyes. “ 

“ You just listing all me mistakes? “ 

But Ben carried on. “ And how you was dancing around in the bathroom butt naked and slipped on yew arse. When you thought I was in bed? “ 

“ That hurt Ben! I fractured me tail bone! “ 

“ Well you desperately need to accept you are a inner geek and I accept & love you for it. “ 

Callum grumbled. “ I ain’t accepting nowt becos I ain’t a geek. “ 

Ben sighed, Callum is as stubborn as he is. “ fine. You win. “ Ben pecked Callum on the lips wiping away the grin on his dopey face. 

Callum kissed him back and walked to the kitchen opening the fridge door. “ we ‘ave enough to cook a chicken chaw mien. “ 

“ I’m so glad I ‘ave a chef as a boyfriend. “ 

Callum put out the ingredients onto the counter and opened the kitchen cupboards. “ You should be. If you didn’t ‘ave me you’ll be gettin fat with takeaway food and ‘ave health problems. “ 

Ben blinked at him. “ I ain’t that bad. “ 

“ Okay you not. “ 

“ I’m not!! “ 

“ Okay Babe, i love you and you need to accept it. “   
Ben sneaked up to him and hugged him from the back, propping his head onto Callum’s shoulder. 

“ can’t believe you’re using me words against me. Evil. “ 

Callum laughed. “ Only the truth baby. “ he turned in Ben’s embrace and kissed him for the last time. “ Now get out of me kitchen I’m cookin. “ 

Ben rolled his eyes dramatically.   
“ Yes sir. “ 

-

It is the 25th of March. Callum’s birthday and Ben is attempting to cook him a full English breakfast. So far the meal has done well and is actually edible!   
Ben carried the tray of food and orange juice to their bedroom where Callum peacefully slept. 

Till Ben got out the very loud ring from his wardrobe and really started ringing. The deafening noise awoken Callum, because Ben did it right next to his ear. 

“ what the fuck is that fuckin noise Ben! I was sleeping why can’t you fucking let me sleep?!” Callum grumbled in rage and annoyance.   
Ben ignored it knowing he is a grumpy fucker when people wake him up. 

“ I ‘ave cooked you a full English breakfast for ya birthday! “ Ben presented the meal on the plate. 

“ You cooked the bacon too long. “ Callum held up the nearly black pork not impressed. 

“ You can still eat it babe. I tried it and it is okay. “ 

Callum raised his eyebrows in the manner of ‘ right?! ‘ he cooked into the tomato’s and put some beans onto the fork before looking back up at Ben. 

“ you gunna just watch me or-?!” 

“ Well wot else I’m I gunna do babe? “ Ben took one of the sausages off the plate. “ Love a thick sausage I do. “ 

“ I know you do - your gay. “ 

Ben bit back a laugh. “ you are too! “ 

Callum swallowed the food down and drank some of the orange juice. “ see? Even thinkin of yew bowls too. “ Ben pointed to the juice with his head. 

“ thanks. I guess. “ 

Ben kissed him. “ when you’re done - you’ll get your first present birthday boy. “ 

“ Can’t wait. “ Callum grinned into the kiss. 

-

Ben covered Callum’s eyes with his small hands and leaded him into the E20. “ You ain’t gunna murder me are you babe? “ 

“ no Callum I ain’t. How I’m I supposed to get the best shags then?! “ 

And before Callum could say anything else. Ben dropped his hands and the whole E20 room shouted 

“ HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALLUM! “ 

Callum turned red from the shock and embarrassment. Ben handed him a beer. “ drink up baby. “ 

-

Callum was completely sloshed.   
Everyone kept buying him drinks for his birthday and Jay & Lola kept playing drink games with him. They were drunk too but not as drunk. 

“ B-benn. “ Callum lolled onto his boyfriend. “ im ‘uv yeeww. “ 

Ben grimaced at his breath.   
“ I love you too baby. “ 

Jay laughed at them both. “ If you still luv him after this - it must be tru luv. “ 

“ Aw don’t say that. “ Lola giggled. “ they’re made for each other! “ she slurred. 

Ben picked Callum’s arm and put it around his neck. “ come on baby let’s get you home. “ 

“ but I - want stay ‘ere drink till blank. “ Callum did not have a clue what he was saying. 

“ Well you can drink nice water can’t you? “ Ben told him.   
“ the birthday boy is leavin now and will be welcomed by a lovely hangover tomorrow. 

Jay patted Callum on the shoulder making him look at his face. “ It’s been a great laugh mate see ya tomoz. “ 

“ luv ya jay. “ Callum’s hand went from Jay’s forehead to chin in a long stroke. 

“ Luv you too mate. “ 

“ ‘Ave a nice night Callum. “ Lola then said. 

“ good luck with the shagging! “ 

-

The next morning 

“ oh my god. “ Callum whined. 

“ Ah the beast awakes. “ Ben deadpans. 

“ I’m dead. “ Callum let out a long groan, forcing his front face into the pillow. Only to have Ben roll him onto his side. 

“ ‘ave some water and paracetamol and you’ll be fine. “ 

“ I’ve actually died. “ 

“ No you ain’t. “ 

“ think I’m gunna be sick. “ Callum heaved and yep. He was sick, Ben was glad he put the bucket next to the bed. 

“ I don’t know why I’m the one havin to deal with this. “ Ben muttered. 

“ I’m dyin!!! “ 

“ You will be in a fuckin minute if you stop wailing. “ 

-

Callum felt 2% better. Ben stroked his hair away from his eyes. “ You had fun babe? “ 

“ The best birthday ever. “ 

They drank and chatted and even had strippers in there. Callum got an eyeful and even felt a bit aroused. They played different kinds of games, ate cake and done some dancing & snogging. 

Callum Highway knows how to party. 

“ I’m glad. It costed a bomb. “ Ben gleefully told him, he didn’t care not really. He would do it all again to see Callum carefree and having the time of his life. Even if he got slightly touchy freely with the Male stripper. 

“ I love you Ben. “ 

“ luv you too babe. “ 

“ did I do anything embarrassing. “ 

“ loads of things. “ 

“ oh god - like what? “

“ Well apart from gettin aroused by the stripper, drinkin like your life depended on it, trying to sexily eat cake. You was dancing on the bar counter to Lady Gaga with bottle of rum in your hand, shirtless. “ 

“ I want to die. “ Callum buried his head in his hands. 

“ don’t worry baby, even if you did we videoed the lot and you’ll still be remembered. “ 

“ Fuck. “


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #104 - Ben gets in a fight or a disagreement or something (maybe even Paul’s killer?) and the guy goes to stab Ben but callum gets in the way and gets stabbed instead? He’s fine but Ben feels guilty af

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dofty x

Ben and Callum walked down the streets of outer Walford. They had their daily routine of spending the day together where they flirted, chatted and with the added snogs. 

“ I cook poached eggs better than that café - £4.60 for that shit! “ Callum ranted, Ben chuckled into his said. 

“ But their egg toast was dead nice babe - you gotta admit there are other better chefs than you are. “ 

Callum gasped, looking down at his boyfriend in disbelief. “ Can’t believe you just said that! “ 

“ Look at Gordon Ramsay or that veggie bloke chef. “ 

“ who? Jamie Oliver? “ 

“ Yeh! You sayin your cooking skills are as high standard than theirs? “ 

Callum stayed quiet, pouting. Ben went quickly on his tippy toes and pecked him on the cheek. 

A voice came from behind them. It made Ben’s blood run cold. “ Oi! Thought when ya faggot of an ex died you wouldn’t keep bein a pussy! “ 

Ben slowly turned round praying it’s not Paul’s killer. He hoped he would never see him again, he should be out of prison. 

Ben didn’t realise he said that very last sentence out loud. 

“ I was, did 5 years for your pussy boyfriend and got released on good behaviour. “ 

Ben charged for him. “ You should’ve died! “ only he was pulled back by his Callum.   
“ leave it he ain’t worth it. “ 

Paul’s killer laughed. “ Yeh listen to your toyboy Ben. “ 

That laugh. That laugh brought him back to that night haunting him for the rest of his life. 

“ You should’ve been in there for life! “ 

“ Yeh? Who would kill the puffs then? “

Ben flew out of Callum’s grasp and walloped the killer in the face. Callum saw a silver glint and charged in-between the two men. 

“ Callum! “ 

“ 2nd boyfriend gunna die on yew Ben! “ The man mocked, putting the bloody small knife back into his pocket. “ Added blood on your h’ands. “ 

The man strolled away leaving the mayhem yet again. Ben couldn’t stop the tears flowing down his cheeks seeing the blood expand on Callum’s shirt. 

“ Ben I’m fine. “ and he was kind of. He wasn’t stabbed that deep in the skin. 

“ you’ve been stabbed Callum! Becos of me! “ 

Callum cupped his boyfriend’s jaw forcing him to look at Callum. “ A bit of first aid will do the trick. I ain’t gonna die. “ 

“ But you might get infected, get sepsis or somethin! “ 

“ Calm down. “ 

“ HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO LOSE A SECOND BOYFRIEND I LOVE!” 

Callum wasn’t going to get any further with Ben when he was this distressed. He looped their arms together and made them both walk back home. 

-

When they got back home Ben striped Callum out of his shirt. Unfortunately, no high levels of testosterone were present and he had Ben’s upset and conflicted emotions crossing his gorgeous features. 

“ Stay ‘ere. “ Ben demanded.   
A few minutes later Ben pushed the coffee towards Callum and Ben sat on it with his right leg pushing in between Callum’s opened ones. 

“ You get ‘urt again becos of me. “ Ben was talking out loud more to himself than Callum. “ I’m your boyfriend, I’m meant to protect ya, meant to treasure ya. You always gettin ‘urt or injured becos of me. “ Ben’s voice wobbled as he concentrated on wiping away some of the dried blood and putting antibiotic wet wipes over the wound. “ What does that make me? “ 

“ It don’t make ya anything babe. You do protect me. “ 

Ben made an frustrating noise and groaned slightly. “ I yelled at Paul’s killer, I did the exact same thing I wished I never did.” 

“ You ain’t Ben Mitchell if you don’t go away from a fight in silence. “ Callum tried to lighten the mood. 

“ But you got stabbed Callum. “ Ben pushed the point bluntly. 

“ And I’ve had worse. This -“ He puts to the ( very ) slight stab wound. “ - is barely anything and yeh it’ll scar but I ain’t in hospital I’m i? “ 

Ben sighed heavily, dropping the blood stained cotton wall ball onto the table and pressed a cloth against the cut. 

“ I love you Callum. I never knew I could love anyone this strongly & just seein you slightly hurts makes me feel like the world is endin. “ 

Callum held hands with him.   
“ Me too, I never knew love would feel this ecstatic. But me and that murderer. It ain’t your fault. “ 

Ben dips his head. “ it feels it. “ 

“ You have low self esteem Ben. You are bound to feel guilty. “ Callum wisely said. “ Hell if it rained in summer you’d apologise. “ 

Ben huffed out a laugh but he smiled. “ It’s the uk. It will rain in summer. “ 

“ I just want you to be okay and your reaction was understandable. “ 

Ben stroked Callum’s chest.   
“ I’ll try to keep me cool next time. “ 

“ I know you feel strongly ‘bout Paul. But his killers will get karma to them eventually. “ 

“ I guess I need to wait then don’t I? Can’t waste me life on scum when Paul would’ve wanted me to be happy. “ 

“ See? Do what Paul wanted ya to do. He was a special part of ya Ben. “

Ben slowly kissed Callum on the lips and slid his hand from the jaw to the back of the neck. 

“ I’m gunna cook tonight. “ 

“ Oh god - dunno which is worse your cookin or bein mildly stabbed. “ 

Ben pinched Callum’s skin.   
“ cheeky bastard. “ Ben grinned. “ and anyway I was gunna order a takeaway but now you will get me cookin skills. “ 

“ why do I open me gob? “ Callum faked being dramatic.


	86. Chapter 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #106 - Part 2 of ch105

“ Miss him sometimes. “ 

Callum leant against the wall in disbelief & utter silence. He didn’t know his husband felt that way about him, about them. Why did he never say anything to him? Why did he never see that Ben felt neglected? 

Sure Callum has been more busy as of late. The business of the funeral pourler becoming increasingly busier and with Callum’s second business taking more of his time. Callum doesn’t really see much of his family. But he is still a permanent father. The kids still see lots of Callum and even when they don’t, Callum rings and texts them knowing he is still there if not physically.   
And then Ben. He and Ben been married for nearly 10 years and they are in love with each other. Callum misses his Ben too, the old Ben and the new Ben.   
He has changed over the years, less sarcastic and more wise, less defensive and more of a thinker. Callum misses the cheeky sod he met 10 years ago ( they were together 3yrs before marriage ). 

Callum quietly walks out of their house to the fading sound of Lola and Ben howling with laughter. 

-

“ Your doin it wrong Ben! “ Lola scolded him, lying on the floor flat out on her back. She faced him and smacked his arm where he was also in the same position as her. 

“ I ain’t lo! You said to slowly lift your leg and bend at the knee. That’s what I’ve done! “ Ben ranted too, dropping his leg onto the wooden floor. 

“ You are meant to raise your leg high enough till it is straight.” 

“ Well I dunno if you’ve noticed but I’m gay. I am incapable of bein straight. “ 

Lola huffed at the sass. “ You can straighten your legs and do it. They’re short enough. “ 

Ben was offended. “ How I met you and wanted you in me life I don’t know. “ 

Lola smirked, knowing Ben secretly has a soft spot for her. “ Does Callum ‘elp you with these type of activities? “ 

Ben sighs, whilst doin the leg movements. “ He tries to but he is always tired or he spends more time with the kids than me. “ 

“ Well he does run two businesses don’t he and has 4 children, number 5 on the way. You can’t expect him to be stretched in so many angles. “ 

“ no I know that lo. But I just miss talkin to him or intimate moments. “ 

“ I don’t want know your sex life -“ 

“ Get your ‘ead outta the gutter.” He told her off. “ I mean snuggling together or silly convos or snoggin sessions. “ 

“ You ain’t teenagers. “ Lola all but said. “ Your 31 now Ben and he’s 34. You both grown up. “ 

Ben is sad. He thought Lola would be more understanding.   
“ don’t mean we have to be borin and forget what we once were. “ 

Lola saw how much this is affecting her friend and gently rubbed his shoulder. “ Speak to him. “ 

“ I don’t want to sound stupid. “ 

“ Well you’ve spoken to me aint ya? Do you think you sound stupid? “ 

“ Well your me mate ain’t ya. “ 

“ And your husband is also your best mate. It’s basically mate rates with a legal certificate sayin you’ll forever shag him. “ 

Ben burst out laughing with Lola in tow. 

-

“ Hiya mate, can you do me a favour? “ Callum rang his secretary. “ Make Mrs Jones the senior management and put her in me place for while. I need to do part time. “ Callum drew random objects on a piece of paper. “ no me mental health ain’t gotten worse - I just need spend some time with me family and have a step back. “ Callum answered the worried question.   
“ Brilliant and I’ll do the same with the funeral home. Cheers mate, I owe you one. “ Callum hung up on the call and sighed heavily. The two businesses successful enough and large enough for Callum to step back from them. Callum has accepted that he has been bit obsessed with his work load. But it is only fundamental to his family to have the best life ‘n’ all. 

And now Callum has a very big apology to make to his gorgeous husband. 

-

Callum carried the medium sized bouquet of pink & red roses ( from Tesco ) in one hand and the other carrying a bag of goodies & oils for a romantic night in. Hopefully it’ll work out. 

Ben was in his spot on the couch. It has been his spot for the past few months now, since it was the most comfortable. 

When Ben heard someone in the house and Callum came into view. His whole face lit up and eyes twinkled. “ ‘why you back?” 

Callum saw the vulnerability for a nanosecond. The face of “ missed you “ and relief that Callum has come home back to him. How can Callum be so stupid?! 

“ I wanted to say a very big sorry to me sexy husband. “ Callum nervously said, handing him the roses. “ And how much of a idiot I’ve been, neglectin ya.” 

Ben looked touched, still holding the roses and smelt them twice.   
“ You ‘eard What I said to Lola didn’t ya? “ 

Callum didn’t see any point in lying. He sat on the table in front of Ben and massaged his thighs. “ I did and I’m glad becos I would still be in the dark. I didn’t mean to make you feel lonely. “ 

Ben put the roses down beside him. “ I just miss the old Callum.” 

“ I didn’t mean to change. “ Callum’s voice changed, a lower tone of shame. 

“ I just miss the times when you would look at me like I lit the moon up. Or you touchin me in public and bein dominant. “ 

“ I still look at you like that? “ It came out more like a question. 

Ben hated talking ‘bout his feelings. “ You do - kind of -“ 

“ You’ve lost me Ben. “ 

Ben groaned. “ when we was boyfriend’s you used to always touch ma and think the sun shines from me arse. Now we are married it feels like you’re used to me. “ 

Callum’s mouth opened slightly. Oh. “ Well I’ll make more of an effort. “ 

“ but I don’t want you doin it just because you have too. “ 

“ I ain’t. I gotta admit I’ve been bit self centred and concentrating on the businesses & spending more time with the kids. But that’s only becos I want them to have a good life and want them to have their dad there. “ Callum said from his point of view. “ But If you want, we can go on more dates together, spend more time together away from the square and be just us if ya want. “ 

Ben smiled. “ I’ll like that. “ 

“ And me love for yew. That never changed. “ 

“ I know. “ Ben squeezed Callum’s hand. “ I know you luv me. Everyone does. “ 

Callum laughed. “ That’s the Ben I’ve also missed as well. Cheeky and egocentric. “ 

Ben chuckled slightly. “ Think we’ve let life & responsibilities get between us haven’t we? “ 

Callum nodded. “ We’ll get through this sore spot babe. Think every couple have this period. “ 

Ben leant forward and kissed him. “ You and me remember? “ 

“ And beyond. “ 

“ cheesy. “ Ben sniggered. “ Anyway what’s in the bag beautiful? “ 

“ All your favourites. “ Callum looked through the contents. “ We’re gunna ‘ave chicken & pasta whilst you rest your head against me thighs like old times. Whilst catchin a movie. “ 

No other word describes what Ben is feeling. Love. Whole. Valued. “ And then we’ll go to bed and I’ll do me scented oils and remember all parts of ya again. “ 

Ben quirks an eyebrow. “ And ‘Ave an early night in? “ 

“ Of course Baby. “ 

“ All the kids not coming home then? “ Callum shook his head and told him where they are.   
Ben grinned and slowly kissed him, pulling away & going back again for a deeper kiss. “ I want you baby. “ 

Callum’s hands slid around Ben’s widened waist and moaned. That’s the spark being relit again. It never died out. 

“ Come on babe. I want you. “ 

Ben never got up so fast, seeing that want & need in his husband’s eyes that he so sure died out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is what everyone wanted and hoped for?!   
And Callum tells Ben about taking part time/step back from work after they shagged ( & also becos I forgot to put it in and forgot to add the kids in this. Sorry)


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #107 - Ben finds out he is pregnant. Callum wants it but Ben doesn’t because he thinks it is too early but he doesn’t want to exclude children completely in the future.
> 
> Tw- abortion ( implied not shown )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Kate x

Callum sits impatiently on the sofa with his foot tapping against the wooden floor anxiously. Whilst Ben does the pregnancy test. 

He comes out of the bathroom awkwardly. “ Positive. “ he shows the stick. Whilst Callum’s whole face brightens and relaxes with excitement. Ben looks unhappy. 

“ You don’t want a baby with me do yew? “ Callum knows, he stands away from Ben when he was about to hug him. 

Ben tries to hide the hurt. He loathes seeing Callum upset, especially by him. “ It ain’t that I don’t want one with ya. “ 

“ but? “ 

“ but it’s too early. “ 

“ how is it?! “ Callum snaps, he doesn’t mean too. “ We’ve been together for 2years Ben. We live together. “ 

“ yeh and I’m only twenty six (26) and I don’t wanna be held down by a sprog. “ 

“ Nice. “ Callum feels his chest contract with anger and upset.   
When Ben is about to apologise he cuts him off. “ When do you want kids Ben? When your old?” 

“ I don’t know cal! I just don’t want any now. “ Ben steps forward towards his boyfriend and slowly wraps his hands around Callum’s large ones. “ this is good between us babe, i don’t wanna wreck it. “ 

“ you won’t -“ 

“ no I know but a baby is a big commitment. I don’t want to bring a life into tension and toxicity if one of us is unhappy.” 

Callum felt like crying but he held it together. It’s Ben’s choice and if he doesn’t want a baby that’s - but Callum can’t force him can he? 

“ fine. “ Callum heavily said, feeling his own heart crunch. 

Ben cocked his head to the side slightly. “ Fine? “ 

Callum nodded, feeling his hands loosen around his boyfriend’s hands. “ Your right its too early. “

Ben smiled slightly. “ I’ll make an appointment then for an abortion. “ 

Callum couldn’t understand why Ben wasn’t seeing the pure pain and the shatter of his heart break. “ You can ‘ave me there if you want. “ 

Ben shrugged. “ I - I don’t know. Think I’ll go alone. “

Awkwardness. So final. 

“ If that’s what you want. “ 

“ yeh. “ 

Callum cleared his throat and pulled away from Ben. Instead of hating the loss of contact, for the first time he didn’t feel anything. 

“ I’m goin to the pub. “ 

Ben frowned. “ Thought we was goin watch a movie ‘n’ snuggle?” He practically whimpered. 

“ Don’t feel like it now and we can watch a movie whenever can’t we? “ 

“ guess so. “ Ben twiddled with his fingers feeling too fragile for his own good. 

“ You can come if you want. “ 

“ Nah I’ll just - see jay. “ 

“ Don’t miss me too much. “ Callum smiled but it was fake. The same as the twinkle in his eyes weren’t there. 

-

Ben walked to Jay’s house and let himself in. Who was sat slump in the sofa watching the telly - The Case, such a grampa. 

“ alright brov? “ 

Ben nodded his head, he wasn’t, he was far from it. “ Need tell ya somethin’ but you can’t say nowt to anyone. “ 

Jay muted the television and sat up now concerned. “ What’s up?” 

“ I’m havin an abortion. “ 

“.....your...your pregnant? How long for? “ 

“ 3 months. I took the pregnancy test 10 minutes ago and Cal -“ 

“ didn’t take it well? “ Jay was egging on protective mode. Callum is his work colleague and mate but if he steps over the line of upsetting his brother. 

Jay will become Callum’s own nightmare. 

“ Nah well - he just went quiet and just felt cold. “ 

“ felt cold? “ 

“ Distant w/ me jay. “ 

“ well it’s a shock into Ben. He ain’t gunna jump up and down is he? “ 

Ben sighed heavily, putting his head in his hands. “ I know but I regret tellin him I don’t want a baby. “ 

Jay leant forward and put his forearms on his thighs. “ Ben if you feel uncomfortable you ‘ave every right to tell him so. “ 

“ But I do want a baby with him but in the future. “ 

“ Then tell him? “ 

“ I did. “ 

“ and what did he say? “ 

“ kinda snapped but he agreed that it’s too early. “ 

Jay rubbed his forehead. “ where is he now? “ 

“ in the Vic. “ 

Jay frowned thinking why isn’t he not with Ben at this time. But people cope with thins differently he supposes. “ Think he needs get his head round it mate. “ 

“ I don’t want him to think I don’t love him. “ 

“ Well your a muppet if you think that. “ 

“ I want things to go back to normal. “ 

Will they though? The small insecurity echoed. 

-

When Ben came back from jay’s he went home to his safe place. Callum wasn’t there but he proceeded to go in anyway till he saw a body in the bed. He went in and Callum laid in the bed with the covers over him. 

“ baby you asleep? “ 

“ no. “ Callum murmured. 

“ It’s only half 6. “ 

“ And i felt tired that’s all. “ 

Ben nodded to himself. It feels like the whole atmosphere has changed and he feels suffocated. 

“ can I sleep with you? “ 

Callum rolled over and shot him a stupid look like he was an idiot. “ come ‘ere you git. “ 

Ben smiled weakly and got undressed snuggling into his boyfriend. “ love you Callum. “ 

Callum cuddled him more.   
“ I guess I do too. “ amusement was in his voice and he gently kissed Ben’s forehead. 

-

It has officially been a month since the abortion; and Ben has noticed a large change in his Callum. He has been distant and cold with him, Callum barley likes their cuddles and when he does reluctantly it feels -wrong. 

Ben leans against the counter watching him cook. He has barley glanced his way in 10 minutes not like Ben has been counting. 

“ you hate me. “ 

Callum carried on starring the sauce. “ I don’t. “ 

“ then why are you distant with me?! “ Ben frowned harshly. 

“ Well after someone decides to get an abortion and when you have your dreams jolted away from yew. It gets bit of gettin used to don’t it. “ 

Ben flinched at the nastiness in Callum’s voice. He never thought Callum would use that unpleasant tone with him. 

Callum’s shoulders went down and he turned down the gas on the top stove. He walked over to him and slid his hands around his waist. “ I’m sorry - I didn’t mean that. “ 

“ you did. “ Ben told him quietly. “ you don’t forgive me. “ 

Callum felt the guilt. “ I do but I just - I don’t know what’s wrong with me. “ he meant it. “ I don’t know why I’m acting like this. “ 

“ you don’t forgive me deep down. “ Ben some what accepted it. “ You can’t understand why I took our baby away and you really saw a future with a child and I took it from u. “ 

Callum firmly shook his head.   
“ You did it for you Ben. You felt uneasy havin a baby and I can’t force ya into keepin it. “ 

“ and that’s why you are suffering. You haven’t let yourself grieve the dream of bein a dad. You set your heart on it before I even took the test.” 

A few tears slipped from Callum’s eyes. “ I’m sorry. “ 

Ben rubbed Callum’s back. “ I know baby. “ 

“ I don’t want us to separate. “ 

“ I don’t want it to happen either. “ he whimpered. 

“ I think we need joint therapy, get us back on track and sort out underlying feelings. “ 

Ben nodded his head, heart beating out of his chest. “ I think we do. “ he agreed. “ I love you. I hope -“

“ I do too. I never stopped loving you. “ 

Ben lunched himself onto Callum and hugged him till there was no gap to distance them.   
“ Thank god I didn’t lose you. “ 

“ I think it’s more than the abortion upsetting me. “ Callum spoke into Ben’s shoulder. 

“ We’ll sort it out baby. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abortion gives me too much anxiety to write. It is a very touchy subject and I never know how to word it to not cause anybody to be upset.   
Ppl might disagree with Callum behaving thinking he is hurting Ben emotionally. But I wanted to write it like he really set his heart on the idea of a baby, he always imagined that Ben, him and a bump on the way would happen 2yrs down the line. So he is finding it hard to cope. 
> 
> But I do not want it to come across as some sort of abuse. 
> 
> But if people do disagree plz say but be respectful


	88. Chapter 88

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #108 - domestic abuse (sexual and coercive behaviour). Set few months after Christmas (‘19) and Callum & Ben are ignoring their feelings ( soulmate love ) and it takes a hospital visit for Ben to realise he needs stop acting like a muppet
> 
> Tw - Domestic violence, sexual abuse (implied, but there is a scene that is the start of sex but I cut it off when they are about to have sex. If that makes sense ) coercive behaviour,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ballllum x  
This is slightly to what you wanted. I wanted to set it when ballum were in love, had more history. I hope you are not too disappointed but if this type of abuse is a trigger for you & you can’t read it. I will obviously understand/respect that.

Calum loved Ben through and through. He was super glued to Callum’s mind, heart & soul and really made a dramatic impact on the Highway lad. But sometimes love isn’t enough to hold onto something and watch yourself slowly deteriorate because the man you love is keeping information from him & keeps breaking up with him. 

Callum made the heartbreaking choice to let Ben go. If Ben really don’t want him ( but he does! The right side of his brain screamed ), Callum can’t force him to love Callum can he? He needs to let Ben decide for himself, on what he wants, let him get his priorities straight. 

Even if his heart slowly turns to stone. 

-

Callum meets Mark on a Wednesday. When he went to the E20 and wanted to have some fun. Mark was fun, nice, non Ben Mitchell material. No. He needs to stop thinking about Ben, he needs to move on. 

“ Meet me tomorrow when you’re less drunk. I’ll like me men sober. “ 

And that’s why Callum is left with a small paper note with Mark’s number on. This could be fun, something new, being more than a baby gay. Even when he feels like he is betraying Ben. 

-  
Ben walks through the square barely keeping his legs upright. Since breaking up with Callum it’s like his soul has been drained from Ben. He hates it. He never was this weak and dependent on love. He is a Mitchell, Phil’s son, Mitchell’s ain’t love sick & pathetic are they? 

Till, the sight ( 12 steps away ) of Callum and this bloke holding hands and laughing together. Mark pressing a 5.5 second kiss on Callum’s stubble cheek and the Highway lad seen to be blushing with a small smile on his face. 

Ben wants to be sick. He has lost Callum forever. He lost the most important happiness to him, he made Ben want to be better. Ben wanted to be better for Callum but evidence shows that he failed. 

Ben Mitchell always fails. 

Phil - U nd find that Keano & make him pay. 

Ben takes one final glance at Callum and forced his eyes away. He’s protecting him. 

-

2 months of avoiding his soulmate and boyfriend. Ben should get a medal actually. It hurts too much to see Callum be happy, to look relaxed and a new freshness to him. Ben is a coward and this is why Highway deserves someone strong and not an act. 

Callum laughs at what Mark said before getting up and going to the bar to get more drinks in. Before Ben can process what he is doing, he is standing beside his lover with an aching heart. 

“ that your new fella then? “ Ben half slurred, his voice betraying him and making him sound defeated. 

“ Err Y-yeh Yeh he is. “ Callum stuttered. He doesn’t want hurt Ben. 

“ He nice? “ 

Callum traces the tip of his finger on the wooden bar, he nods slowly. “ He is. “ 

More than me? Do you love him as much you do to me? “ Good. You deserve nice Callum. “ Ben means it, he truly does, he would fight anybody who made Callum upset. 

“ You are nice Ben. “ Callum puts his hand on Ben’s who felt a shiver go down his spine and over his body. Ben took his hand away and hated the coldness. 

“ I ain’t Cal, but I’m ‘appy for ya. Be happy and don’t be like me. “ This is why he hates drinking. 

“ Ben -“ 

Ben patted Callum on the shoulder and looked seconds away from breaking down. “ You know I’m always ‘ere. “ and then he leaves the Vic to be greeted with loneliness. 

“ Alright son? “ Mick appears, watching the in-counter between the two men. “ Everythin Okay? “ 

“ Fine. “ 

Mick leans against the bar and looks dead in his eye. “ You need to move on Halfway. I know you love ‘im but you don’t ‘ave to let him take away your dignity. “ 

Callum takes his two pints and half smiles at his dad. Mark watched him walk to the table and Callum is obvious to the dark shadow on the man’s face. 

“ That your ex before? “ 

“ yeh. Ben. “ even saying his name makes him burn with electricity. He wants to go out there and tell Ben he is the one Callum loves, he is the one Callum wants to take home. 

“ what did he want? “ Marks voice controlled. 

Callum shrugged in his usual Highway awkwardness. “ Just wanted to see ‘ow I am. “ 

Mark nods firmly, leaving is head up for 3 seconds before forcing a smile on his face. The dark green eyes stare into Callum’s blue ones. 

“ After this I want you on a bed and become a whimpering mess. “ You’re mine. 

Callum nearly choked on his pint. He put his hand on Marks thigh. “ You better drink up then.” It isn’t the same with Mark like it is with Ben. When Ben tells Callum about sex or hinting, he would feel the arousal deep in his bones and crotch. He would be tingling from his toes. 

Mark does not do get that reaction out of Callum. Maybe Callum has to try more and it’s just sex isn’t it? 

-

As the months have gone on. Ben has seen a significant change in Callum; for the worse. He looks like he has lost weight, he looks in pain when he walks and every time ( all the time ) when Mark touches him Callum cringes and looks uncomfortable.   
He doesn’t speak to Ben anymore. He doesn’t negotiate with barely anybody in the square. He only goes to work and even then he just speaks to the grieving families. 

The purple love bites on his collarbone look more violent than love marks. The bruises on Callum’s wrists and stinging red ( with red blood cells coming up to the skin surface ) around the thin ring make Ben’s blood burn. 

Ben - meet me at mums at 6pm 

Callum - why? 

Ben - want see ya 

Callum finds his feet outside of Ian’s house. Mark is walking late and Callum felt free. 

“ ‘ello come in. “ Callum enters the house and feels his heart fly out of his chest, back becoming sweaty and he keeps twitching.   
“ no need to look so nervous Cal. “ Ben wants to joke but Callum looks frightened. 

“ W-why I’m I ‘ere?” Callum avoids eye contact. 

Ben frowns at his strange behaviour. “ wanna come through the livin room? “ Callum does as he is told and sits awkwardly on the sofa and Ben sits beside him too. 

“ I’m worried bout ya cal. “ 

“ why? “ Callum hesitantly faces him. 

“ you ain’t spoken to me in months and when you try that prick of a boyfriend speaks for ya. “ Ben’s voice hardened. 

“ he ain’t a prick. “ he tells him quietly. 

“ I never knew you’ll be the type to let people walk over ya. “ 

“ I don’t. “ 

Ben scooted forward noticing Callum tense up. “ You are actin differently. Is he hurtin ya? “ 

Mark wouldn’t hurt him. When Mark and him have sex it doesn’t hurt or makes Callum shout in agony and when he cannot move. When Cal sees blood and feels scabs on his body and arse. 

It’s just rough sex. He used to have rough sex with Ben and yeh it was intense and when he couldn’t move it was a good type. Where he felt Ben for days and he had bit of a limp. 

Mark doesn’t touch Callum in a way that makes him feel wrong, or doesn’t ask permission to touch Callum in a unpleasant way. 

What he has with Mark. It’s just more intense isn’t it? It’s fine. 

“ You can tell me Callum. “ 

Callum’s shoulders are so hunched his back hurts. He can feel the scabs and bruising with the red scratches move too. 

“ He ain’t - he ain’t like that. “ 

“ no? Then why does he act so possessive. Why do you act more awkward and uncomfortable than normal? “ 

“ I don’t. “ 

Ben places his hand on Callum’s thigh ( upper, by his knee ) and gently squeezes. Callum has flashback to yesterday. When Mark roughly touched his cock and forced him to become hard. When Mark firmly put his hands on his thighs and made handprints. 

“ Please talk to me. I miss you. “ 

“ I do too. “ Callum admits, very quietly. He wished he never met Mark, he feels trapped in the relationship. 

“ Then open up to me. “ 

“ He h-“his phone calls and it’s him. Callum feels sick, with shaking hands he answers the call. 

Ben wants to rip the phone from him. He was to hear the truth come from the horses mouth. 

“ ‘ello. I’m sorry I’m - I’m gettin some food and I’ll -I’ll come home. I didn’t mean to leave the flat. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. “   
Ben couldn’t believe Callum had been reduced to this. To this mess of a frightened, fragile human. He could kill Mark. 

“ Why you apologising for leavin the house? “ Ben sounds pissed off. 

“ becos he didn’t want me to leave he wanted me to be there.” Callum gets up and starts walking to the back door with wobbly legs. “ I need to go. Sorry Ben but I don’t want to get in trouble. “ 

Ben frowned and then his face softened. He put his hand on Callum’s shoulder and gently turned him around. 

“ You need ‘elp. “ 

“ I don’t. “ Callum disagreed. “ I need to go. Bye Ben. “And he quickly scuttled off. 

“ bye. “ Ben whispered to the closed door. 

-

Mark was leaning against the counter where it directly faces the entrance of the hallway. He had his arms crossed over his chest, curly black hair firmly pushed back and had his smart suit blazer off. 

“ Your late. “ 

Callum froze for 2 seconds; hand clutching tight on the plastic handle of the bag. “ I’m sorry there was a queue and -“

“ And? “ 

Callum swallowed. He doesn’t know what he has done wrong. He is confused. He’s never been in an relationship ( apart from Ben ) with a man to know if this is normal or not. 

“ i didn’t mean to be late. “ 

Mark scoffs, stops lolling on the kitchen counter and takes the bag off his boyfriend to drop it on the floor. He slides his long arms around Callum’s waist and slips his hand down into the back of Highways pants. 

“ I don’t - don’t really feel like havin oral -“Callum silently panics. Mark never listens to him anyway, Callum doesn’t know why today would be different. 

“ Why? Don’t you fancy me no more? “ Mark uses coercive behaviour. 

“ No - I mean I Yeh -Yeh I do but -“ 

Mark slips a dry finger into Callum’s dry hole and doesn’t knowledge his intake of breath.   
“ Then you will show me that you like me. You don’t want to disappoint me do you? “ 

Callum shakes his head, guilty.   
“ No. “ 

Mark starts sucking against Callum’s neck whilst applying a second dry finger. Callum’s body starts to finally react ( it has taken some time to get used to this. Months ago Callum would have to think of Ben but now he’s used to Marks touch ) and Mark’s green eyes turn darker. He drags Callum into their bedroom and pushes him on the bed, ripping his dry fingers out making Callum whimper in discomfort. 

“ that ‘urt. “ he didn’t mean for it to come out. 

“ aw poor Callum. “ Mark unbuttons his shirt. Then roughly taking Callum’s jumper off too. “ I’m disappointed in you Cal, you bein late for me, leavin the ‘ouse when I specifically told you not too. “ he tuts, straddling him. “ You are fit and sexy and mine. “ he slowly kissed down Callum’s body and biting hard on his nipple. 

“ ow. “ 

“ You gunna shut up and take what I do to you. Do you hear me? “ Mark pulls Callum’s brunette hair nearly making it rip out. 

“ S-Sorry! “ 

Mark stands on all fours and collapses his hard crotch ( very heavily and violently ) onto Callum’s crotch. The air was taken out of his lungs and felt tears run from the corner of his eyes. 

“ You Good boy. “ 

-

Ben has been sitting in the hospital chair for 2 hours now. He has his fingers locked with Callum’s limp ones, being mindful of the IV drip in his hand’s vein. Ben couldn’t believe how stupid he was, why didn’t he do anything sooner? How did he let himself leave it? Where was his bloody logic? 

Ben’s eyes trail along Callum’s sunken face, dark circles under his eyes. How he looks pale yet the angry red finger marks make him look like a lolly pop.   
When the hospital rang him at 1am ( Callum made Ben his next of kin ) and told him Callum has been severely assaulted. He let his mind to wanting to murder Mike. 

The doctor listed all the damages made to Callum 

-sexual abuse   
-physical abuse   
-cuts, bruises, scratches, scabs   
-Concussion ( when Mike pushed Callum )   
-fractured bones   
-ruptured anal 

Ben broke down. He cried and cried into Highway’s arm. The Male doctor was deeply sympathetic he understood the impact this had on Ben.   
And now he had to wait for Callum to wake up, wait for Callum ( if ) to tell him what happened.   
Mike had been arrested. 

“ I should have never left you. “ Ben confessed to the silent room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never written sexual abuse before ( only physical/verbal ) and this is new boundary type that I’m unsure about the reaction. I did some googling and I hope I have written it realistically for ppl.   
If I have upset people I am deeply sorry and it was never intended to cause harm. 
> 
> I chose this type of abuse for Callum because he has only ever known Ben & Whitney ( in canon). So I feel he is naive in some regardless of sex. Example, Mark saying that their relationship is intense and rough is normal. Callum would think it is because some ppl do like more ‘rough’. However, later on in their relationship I wanted Callum to learn from his gut feelings that it’s not normal. But with Mark’s coercive controlling he is convincing Callum is not thinking rationally. Which makes him confused and more vulnerable. 
> 
> As I said before, I’ve never written sexual abuse and I did some googling. I don’t know 100% about the horrid abuse and that’s why ( I feel ) my knowledge & understanding may be poor. 
> 
> But I do hope I’ve given this justice and please politely point out mistakes because 1, I can have accountability, & 2 I can learn more about it!


	89. Chapter 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #109 - Part 2 of chapter 108 
> 
> still be mindful of triggers!!

Ben helped his ex to the living room of the funeral home flat and guided him to slowly collapse onto the sofa. Callum grimaced from the horrible sensation but ignored it. 

“ thank you for ‘elpin me. “ Callum thanked him quietly. He found the messy coffee table more interesting to look at. 

“ You don’t have to thank me cal. I’m ‘ere to ‘elp and support ya. “ Ben softly said. “ You want your painkillers? “ 

Callum shook his head. He doesn’t want to be drowsy. It reminds him of that time when Mark made him drink more than he wanted too and then convinced him to have sex. Callum could barely think and was barely mentally capable of making any decision. 

“ But your in pain. “ 

“ And I don’t want any! Don’t force me like that Mark! “ 

Ben flinched, physically hurt by what Callum said. He’s being just like Mark isn’t he? Pressuring Callum into something. 

“ I didn’t mean too be. I’m just worried. “ Ben mumbled. 

Callum sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead. Stupid stupid stupid. “ No I am - didn’t mean to snap at ya. I know your tyna ‘elp. “ 

Ben didn’t move. He took one glance around the dimly lit room and back to hunched over Highway. “ You wanna Stay ‘ere by yourself? I can stay if you want? “ 

I don’t want to be on my own. It scares me. “ You ‘ave a life to get back too Ben. A daughter waitin for ya. You don’t want waste your time on me. “ 

Ben sat in front of him and hesitated to touch his hands and then fought against it. “ You are my second priority Callum. I care for ya. “ I love ya. 

Callum sniffed. “ I just want to be on me own for while. “ 

“ Well I could come by later on? To see ‘ow you are? “ 

“ That’d be nice. “ 

Ben left. After doing the final checkups that Callum is okay to be left on his own. Callum walks to the bathroom and switches the main light on. In the reflection of the mirror is a man he doesn’t recognise. Floppy out grown hair, sunken face and emotionless eyes. This isn’t him. Callum Highway is happy and strong and looks after everyone. 

Mark made Callum Highway scared and vulnerable, confused and anxious. He made him to not care about his appearance, about not eating; made him into a dirty little whore who just got used for sex and wanted sex but Callum didn’t know any better. 

Callum is a man. A man. Who couldn’t fight back. 

‘Pathetic puff. ‘ Jonno hisses. 

Callum stares into the reflection;tears slipping from his eyes. The mind wonders to that time when Callum was in this very room, looking into the mirror and taking in the detail of the bruises on his face. Mark came in slipping his longer, muscling arms around his waist.   
Callum feels the goosebumps rise, skin turning purple from the cold. Yet he can’t move. He feels Mark push him into the sink as the taller man’s dick pressed into Callum’s arse, how Mark bit him and hurt Callum when he grabbed hold of his dick.   
If Callum really tried hard enough he can turn around and Mark would be there behind him. He casts a look anyway and of course he ain’t. Just the shower & bath, another reminder of what else Mark did to him. 

‘Naughty little boy aren’t you? ‘ Mark purred intro Callum’s ear.   
‘ If you was continual enough i would’ve been treating you better. ‘ 

“ Shut up! “ Callum whimpered, dunking his head down ignoring the tears fall onto the base sink. 

‘ Now that is very rude of you isn’t it? Haven’t you got any respect? ‘ 

“ Please don’t - I don’t want anymore Mark. You’ve ‘urt me so much. “

Mark fisted his hand on Callum’s dry hole. ‘ I’m gunna wreck you beautiful. ‘ 

“ STOP! “ Callum punched the mirror seeing Mark’s sharp face in the mirror. 

Callum just broke. He repeatedly punched the mirror not processing the dangerous amount of blood coming out of his knuckles and fingers. The silver metal flying in different directions and a massive crack on the middle.   
Callum stopped from the emotional and physical exhaustion and slid down onto the floor in heaps of sobs. He hates this. Why has Mark made him like this!? 

-

7.5hrs later. Callum slowly woke up; his body ached from the cold tiles of the bathroom and his hand sticky from dried red blood. Bits of silver metal still stuck in his fingers.   
Callum sighed heavily with a groan. He can’t believe last night he lost it and hallucinated. How shameful is he? He is worse than Stuart and dad; he is weak & disgusting. 

Callum got up and heard someone frantically knocking on the door and buzzing the caller. He panicked thinking it was Mark before he heard Ben calling him. 

“ Where the fuck ‘ave you been Callum? I’ve been callin you for ages - what’s wrong with your hand? Why did you punch the mirror?! “ Ben was beyond hyperventilating, rushing Callum to the kitchen sink and turned the cold water over the wound. 

“ ow that hurts! “ 

“ babe I know but I need to clean it. “ 

Callum whimpered but consented, letting Ben carry on cleaning his hand. 10 minutes later and his hand is wrapped up in a bandage. 

“ why did you punch the mirror?” 

Callum played with the loose end of the White material. “ i hallucinated, Mark was touchin me and I just freaked out. “ 

“ You shoulda rang me. “ 

“ I know. “ Callum agreed fragilely. Ben rubbed Callum’s shoulder. 

“ Let’s get you to bed. You look shattered. “ 

-

5 days since Callum was released from hospital and he felt suffocated. He didn’t know what to do anymore without Mark’s controlling behaviour, was he allowed to leave? What if Mark didn’t like it? He doesn’t want to upset him. 

Somebody walked in and Callum immediately sat up shaking. Mark. 

“ You stupid, warped idiot. “ Mark growled. “ you tellin the police? For what! Shaggin? “ he pushed hard against Callum making him fall on the couch. 

“ you - you were sexually abusing me. “ Callum shook. 

Mark scoffed, now straddling Callum’s thighs. “ You don’t know what that means cal. What we have is good. “ 

Callum shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks. “ You - your manipulating me. “ 

Mark kissed along Callum’s neck, forcing him in place. He held tight on his wrists. “ You taste so good. “ 

“ GET OFF HIM! “ 

Mark didn’t have time to react. Before he knew it, his whole body was hurled back and Ben used every single strength he had and punched the abuser in the face. 

“ You fucking stay away from him do you hear me?! You STAY AWAY FROM MY CALLUM! “ Ben went for him again and dragged him out of the flat and chucking him out. 

He locked the door and sprinted back to Callum. Who was visibly shaking. “ I thought - he was going to do it again. “ 

“ Your safe now. “ Ben held him.   
“ I’ll protect ya. “ Callum cried into his chest.   
-

2 weeks from that night and he is just about coping. Ben has been staying few nights a week at Callum’s helping him and supporting. He hasn’t pushed Callum on Mark, kept his angry opinions to himself not wanting Callum to push him away. 

Ben yawns, rubbing his eyes whilst they watch the telly. “ You okay? “ 

Callum nods. “ I’m tired now. “ 

Ben turns to him. “ You can go to bed if you want? I ain’t forcin ya. “ 

“ Can you take me to bed? Don’t wanna be lonely. “ 

Ben smiled softly. “ You know what I’m gunna say, ain’t declined once ‘ave I? “   
A small smile appears on the man’s face and they both get up from the sofa. Callum gets into bed and Ben sits on the edge. 

“ I think I’m ready to talk about Mark. “ 

“ Whenever your ready Callum.” 

Callum twiddled with his fingers. “ He was nice at first. Charming, sexy, flirtatious and he liked me. I thought I wouldn’t ever get anything like it before, I was so broken after you and I actually ‘ad someone interested in ma. “ 

Ben shifted, guilty that he broken up with him. Now, Callum pays the price for his pettiness. 

“ That’s why I went along with him. I didn’t want to miss the chance of bein loved. “ 

I always loved you. 

“ And every time he was forward with me. I thought it was normal. When he touched me in places, I just - I thought it was okay!! “ 

“ What else did he do? “ Ben looked at him, the moonlight casting onto his face. 

“ Convinced me into sex, ignored me when I said I was uncomfortable, I never really enjoyed it because it hurt. “ 

“And if you told him it hurt. Would he carry it on? “ 

Callum nodded. “ He wouldn’t listen, carry on fuckin me or doin oral. When he did listen, he’ll tell me to shut it and stay in silence and take what he does to me. “ 

“ Do you know it was sexual abuse? “ 

“ near the end I did. “ Callum practically whispered. 

You should’ve told somebody. Ben forced his mouth to shut, if it was that easy Callum would’ve done it by now. 

“ What else did he do to you non sexually? “ 

“ Sometimes push me, verbally nasty, grab at me wrists. “ 

“ I’m glad your safe now. “ 

“ I just wanted to feel loved. “ Callum finally looked at Ben, his eyes red rimmed. “ and the most horrible thing ‘bout it was - I liked it. I got used to the rough sex. Me body reacted like it was normal. I got used to it. “ 

“ And that’s what you need to remember Callum. You got used to it & thought it was normal. When you had sex with me was it like you & Mark? “ 

“ no. “ 

“ and you need remember that. You’ll feel horrible about yourself but you need remember what you&me had was normal and what u had with Mark was abuse. “ 

“ What if I won’t ever be the same again? “ 

“ You’ll recover. “   
-

3 months later 

Callum and Ben have rekindled again. They have gotten closer. Ben hasn’t left Callum’s side since, lettin him vent out his anger and insecurities. Callum felt whole again, he felt like Callum Highway had never actually departed. 

Ben did confess he loves Callum but he never asked for anything in return. He has been so patient and compassionate. Callum is ready. He is ready to be in an relationship again, to make love. He feels safe Ben. 

“ Ben? “ 

He turns. “ yeh? “ 

“ I - I feel safe with you. “ 

Ben’s face softened. “ I’m glad you do cal. “ 

Callum slowly locks their hands together and for a split second he panicked. “ And I feel whole and loved and I’ve realised I never stopped loving you. “ 

Ben doesn’t know what to do. Callum, his Callum who was barley coping, now talkin freely and acting like the old Callum Ben knew. 

“ what I’m tryna say is. I’m ready. If your ready. “ 

Ben frowned. Then his mind caught up. “ Your ready for sex?” 

Callum’s heart was hammering. “ if you want to. “ 

“ you know that’s all I’ve ever wanted. “ 

Callum leans in and presses a delicate kiss to Ben’s small but plump lips and then pulls away.   
It was okay. He didn’t panic, he didn’t see Mark. He didn’t even think of that man. It was just him and Ben. Ben and him. 

“ Are you okay? “ Ben anxiously watched. 

“ I’m okay. “ Callum proudly says. “ I want you to look after me, want you to make me mine again and wipe that man’s mark on me. “ 

Ben took his hand and slowly walked to their bedroom. Ben was going to show Callum how proud and how much he loved Callum. Callum deserves intimacy. 

Ben gently pushed Callum onto the bed diagonally and in one swift move, his jumper was off. He straddled Callum’s hops applying different kisses to Callum’s neck before pulling away. 

“ Tell me if you don’t want it Cal. I ain’t like him, I’ll respect ya choice if you don’t want it. “ 

Callum put his hands on Ben’s love handles and squeezed slightly. He doesn’t know what to do anymore during sex, after havin months of being controlled. He’s lost his skills. 

“ I know you ain’t like that ben. Just - make me yours again. “ 

Ben smiled. He carried on slowly kissing along Callum’s neck whilst unbuttoning the shirt.   
“ Can’t believe you weren’t treated with love. “ Ben half moaned, he has a point. “ You are -“ he kisses along Highways chest with soft kisses. “ - the most sexiest man I’ve ever seen and I shouldn’t ‘ave ever let ya go. “ 

Callum felt emotional. Different. Just, completely different to what he had with Mark. He should’ve released sooner that it was abuse. 

Ben looked back up, reaching forward to wipe away the tears.   
“ What do you want baby? “ Ben’s voice deep with arousal. 

“ You kissin me and just - touching me. “ 

Ben lightly touched Callum’s hard on. “ Touch you here? “ 

Callum nodded, shifting on the bed. “ Just - just that nothin else. “ it still felt weird having a choice. 

Once Callum classified. Ben took Callum’s joggers & boxers off. Callum still looked beautiful. He still looked like his lover. 

Ben trailed down a messy line to Callum’s hard cock and slowly fiddled with the balls. “ Do you like this? “ 

“ y-Yeh. “ 

“ is it okay for me to blow you? “ 

“ Just that? “ 

“ just that. “ 

Callum pulled Ben’s hair and Ben took that as a yes. Ben kissed along the hard cock, making sure to take care & respect. He wrapped his lips around the tip and slowly sucked before pulling away. 

“ Gorgeous. “ 

“ Come here. “ Callum asked him, Ben knew this was new to him now. 

Ben cupped Callum’s jaw looking deep in his eyes. “ You wanna stop? “ 

“ just want kiss you. “ 

“ Nowts stopping ya. “ Ben cheekily smiled. 

Callum pressed a kiss to Ben’s lips and repeated the practice. It felt good kissing him. “ I just want to us to kiss if that’s okay?” 

“ I’m fine with that. I quite like kissin you anyway. “ 

Callum half giggled. He was gaining bit of confidence and let his hands slide to the sides of Ben’s head and face and kissed him again, bit more deep. 

“ Can I slip a tongue in? “ Ben asked him. Callum nodded, playing with Ben’s hair whilst he slit his tongue halfway in and they snogged. 

15 minutes later. Callum was lying on Ben’s chest whilst trailing pattens on Ben’s stomach. 

“ I know that probably wasn’t anything to you but it was the world to me. “ Callum confessed. “ Thank you for lookin after me. “ 

Ben held him tighter. He never wanted to let go. “ it was everything to me too cal, maybe slightly different becos of the circumstance. But I’ll always look after ya and if this is what I’ll forever ‘ave. I’ll catch it in a heart beat. “

Callum snuggled into him more. Ben doesn’t understand how a 6’0 man can look so small compared to his tall height. 

“ Love you Ben. “ 

“ love you too cal. “ 

Callum pressed another 40th kiss to Ben’s skin. “ Why did he treat me like that? “ referring to Mark. 

“ I don’t know cal. “ Ben went for the calmer route. Callum didn’t need hostile comments right now; not when he was opening up again. 

“ I deserved better than that. “ 

“ and I will treat you and show you exactly why you are deserved to be treated properly.” Ben applied a firmer kiss on top of Callum’s crown ( on his head ). 

As Callum was drifting under. He let himself relax before one thought stuck with him till the morning. He is wholeheartedly in love with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn’t want to dwell on all the recovery as it’s not a proper fic but a chapter of a one shot within a fic.   
But Mark does go to prison! I wanted him to come back and try get his claws back into Callum again. Luckily Ben saw him acorss from the square and sprinted to the flat.   
Callum not coping. I thought that is in character. He feels weak and with him feeling victimised, it would add onto the self hatred.   
The endin part. I wanted them both to be emotionally intimate than physical ( I feel Callum isn’t ready yet ). But I thought kissing and bit of a blow job was good enough for cal as that is all he could handle at the moment.   
Sorry if ppl do disagree with that but I guess ( not excusing) ppl recover differently? 
> 
> But I don’t want them to rush into a relationship and I hope you can see in this. That Ben isn’t rushing Callum and they are taking their time. 
> 
> Side note,   
Beah, I’ve written your 2 prompts and will be posted after or tomorrow


	90. Chapter 90

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #110 - Callum is heavily pregnant and someone barges into him and Ben becomes very protective. 2/2  
Callum finds out he is pregnant & doesn’t want to keep it because he feels like he is a bad dad. But Ben assured him and reminds him that he is good with Lexi. 1/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Beah x

Ben jumped into his husband’s body hugging the life out of him. Now knowing an actual life is growing in his soulmate makes Ben want to combust with rainbows and glitter. 

“ I can’t believe your pregnant. We’re gunna have kids and build a family. “ Ben spoke lightly into his husband’s shoulder. He pulled back at the lack of reaction from him. “ what’s wrong? “ 

Callum couldn’t meet his gaze, he was ashamed. “ I can’t ‘ave it. “ 

Ben’s heart broke. He guided him to the sofa and held both of his hands in a gentle vice. “ why? You’d be a brilliant dad. “ 

Callum shook his head frowning. “ I ain’t. I’ll wreck ‘em, they’ll ‘ave parts of me and I’ll ruin ‘em.” 

“ Baby stop bein stupid. You are amazing with Lexi, you act like she’s ya own. “ 

“ But that’s the point Ben she ain’t me own and these kids. “ Callum stopped himself, finally looking at his confused husband. “ what if I’m like me dad? What if I’m really shit dad and make me own kids resent me? “ 

Ben shuffled closer to him, placing his hand on Callum’s flat stomach. “ you will be an incredible dad. You know why? You’ll ‘ave your sexy ‘usband with you, Lexi and Lola and jay even Kath will ‘elp us. “ Ben listed the amounts of support Callum has. “ you ain’t nothin like your dad Callum. You are one thousand times better than him. “ 

“ I’m scared. “ he whispers, looking at Ben’s stubble than his eyes. 

Ben cupped his cheek and stroked the skin with his thumb.   
“ I know you are babe but you ‘ave me. “ 

Callum opened his arms and hugged his husband of 3 years. “ We can do this can’t we? “ Callum needs the reassurance. 

“ Of course we can. We can get through anything when we’re together. “ 

-

8 months later and Callum is carrying twins. One boy and one girl. They haven’t chosen a solid name yet but Ben has listed all the names he likes and Callum has done the same. They just need to narrow down the 25 names they like. 

Ben holds his husband’s hand as they walk down the street of the square with bags full of food in their free hands. 

“ Do you really need all these fish and chocolates babe? “ Ben questions him. 

“ i need the minerals and the cravings. “ 

Ben scoffed. “ Or you just wanna be a greedy bastard. “ 

A hunky Male walks straight into Callum’s shoulder making him nearly lose his balance and fall to the floor. 

“ Oi watch where your fuckin goin mate! “ Ben yells after the man who does the wanker sign and carried on with his business. Ben checks over his husband with his eyes and holds his shoulders. 

“ are you okay? Are you hurt? Callum talk to ma! “ 

“ I will if you let me speak. “ Callum answered instead. “ I’m fine honestly-“ 

“ but you winced and that impact could’ve jolted the babies! “ 

Callum made a face at the logic, regaining the strength he has on the bag and forcing his worried husband to their flat. “ I am okay Ben. No harm done. “ he unlocks the door. 

“ no harm done? No harm done! Callum you could’ve fallen and damaged the babies! This could of been serious! “ Ben rants behind him as they walk up the stairs. 

“ Yeh hypothetically. But I am okay! Stop over reactin!” Callum snapped, putting the shopping onto the wooden counter. 

Ben relaxed slightly. “ I just didn’t want anything bad to happen to you three. “ 

Callum clicked his jaw and smiled assuringly. He slid his arms around Ben’s waist and couldn’t go much further. “ I am okay. I know you are worried but no harm done. “ 

Ben didn’t say anything. He kissed Callum on the lips and put both hands on either side of Callum’s tummy. “ I love all of you. “ 

“ and we love you too. “ Callum played with Ben’s hair. “ I’m sure they’ve gotten used to your voice by now. The amount of time you speak to me bump. “ 

“ well they need to hear their favourite dad don’t they? “ 

Callum chuckled. “ We’ll see ‘bout that. “ and his stomach rumbled ruining the moment. “Think they’re hungry. “ 

Ben pulled away and went to the fridge. “ You want a fish salad? “ 

“ well I wanted you but suppose that’ll do. “ Callum nuzzled his nose into the back crook of Ben’s neck and shoulder. He stroked his chest. “ Don’t think I’ve ever been so content in me life. “ 

Ben raised his hand and held onto Callum’s large one. “ Me neither. I don’t ever want to lose this. “ 

“ me too. “


	91. Chapter 91

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #111 - - Ben freaks out about giving birth which causes him to go into labour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ballum4life x
> 
> You waited 4 days and it is finally here!

Ben ran his fingers through his hair stressed out. “ I can’t do it.” 

“ Can’t do what? “ Callum frowned beside him. 

“ I can’t give birth! “ 

“ Well it’d be a C section. “ 

Ben snapped his head to his boyfriend. “ I cannot do it Callum! I’m scared! “ 

“ Bit late now ain’t ya? Your a week away from your due date.” 

Ben growled. “ Stop bein flippant! “ 

Callum shrugged his shoulders and carried on looking through Twitter. “ Well you shoulda thought ‘bout that when you wanted us to ‘Ave a baby. “ 

Ben snacked Callum’s thigh. “ You are supposed to be supportive cal! You are meant to reassure me! “ 

Callum carried on flickering through his twitter like a teenage boy ignoring his parents. 

“ Callum! “ 

He huffed and closed his phone to look at his pregnant Ben and sighed in his face. “ What do you want me to do? “ 

“ I want you to tell me it’s gonna be alright. “ 

“ it’s gonna be alright. “ 

Ben wanted to strangle him.   
“ well don’t copy me word from word! ‘Ave some enthusiasm ‘bout it! “ 

Callum shuffled closer to him and wrapped his arms around his waist ( or well 2 waists considering Ben is carrying twins + weight gain ). “ You will be okay darlin, you see me sexy little humble humble and you will do amazin. If you decide to pop those kids out, on me £750 sofa I will kill you me self. “ 

Ben chuckled and then - oh shit. “ Ow! “ he grimaced at the waves of pain. 

“ Do not tell me they’re comin! “ 

Ben held himself in utter agony.   
“ They’re comin! “ 

“ get off the sofa! “ He helped him off the £750 settee. 

“ Is that all you care ‘bout! “ Ben snapped, letting his boyfriend guide him to the car. 

“ Partly, Yes! It’s fuckin designer Ben! “ 

“ Designer! “ Ben was outraged, as they exited the house and into Callum’s Porsche. “ You said you got it from Argos! “ 

Callum wasn’t quick enough to hide the regret on his face, 2 years he kept that a secret. 2 YEARS! 

“ Well I lied didn’t I Ben. “ Callum opened the car door and ( gently ) shoved him in. “ Hold on. “ 

Ben looked at him murderously.   
“ Hold on?! You are tellin a pregnant man to hold onto LABOUR! “ 

“ Yes for now. “ And Callum ran off back into the house and got the things they needed. He locked the door and skidded into his white Porsche. 

“ You haven’t dirtied the seats ‘ave ya? “ Callum started the car up. He loved being the teasing one. 

“ No I haven’t dirtied the seats & don’t you fuckin worry I’ve held on and the babies are waiting. “ 

Callum brought Ben’s hand to his lips and kissed the skin as he drove to the hospital. He didn’t say I love you or it’s going to be alright. Callum didn’t say we’re gunna be dad’s and I can’t wait to see you hold my children. 

He said - “ Thank you for not giving birth on me couch. “ 

Ben yanked his hand away and muttered something inaudible.   
“ How you duffed me up is beyond me. “ 

“ Aw come on! I’m only joking baby. “ Callum was all smiles. “ How’s the pain now? “ 

“ it’s subsided a bit. “ Ben painfully said. “ just hurry up. “ 

“ i ain’t gettin a £50 pound fine for speedin Ben. Labour or not. “ 

“ I regret carryin your kids now.” 

“ Well you’re the one who opened your legs Ben. “ 

Ben couldn’t respond because the Highways were making their way down and gettin ready for coming out. 

But Callum did hold his boyfriend’s hand and Ben got his revenge by transferring all the pain into the vice grip of their locked hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it ?!


	92. Chapter 92

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #112 - Ben is seriously hurt in the arches and Callum is the last to find out when Ben is in intensive care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For BallumshipperEst06/06/19 x

Callum rang his fiancé for the hundredth time and groaned in annoyance. Ben wasn’t picking up. Callum was in the West End of London and he wanted to get back in time if Ben wanted lunch. But it was a dead end. 

“ You better ‘ave good excuse for ignoring me x “ Callum texted him before going to his next job. 

-

“ Ben just stay with me okay? “ Jay panicked through the sentence, holding his brother’s limp shoulders. “ Hold on me to brova! “ 2 tears fell from his eyes as he stared at Ben’s pale yet blue face. 

The ambulance sirens are heard screeching from around the corner. “ Ambulance is ‘ere Ben just hold on okay?! Don’t leave us, me. “ 

-

Callum, 13:25 -I’m really worried ‘bout ya 

Callum, 13:48- Has something happened? 

Callum 14:04- I’m coming home now 

Callum’s foot tapped anxiously against the train’s flooring, he can feel something isn’t right. He knows something has happened to Ben but doesn’t know what. 

Callum’s phone lights up and doesn’t even bother seeing who’s ringing him. “ Ben where -“

“ Ben’s in hospital. “ Jay cut him up. 

Callum’s face went slack. Paled.   
“ W-why? “ 

“ He’s damaged his arm and he lost a lot of blood. “ 

“ but he’s okay? “ 

“ Just get to the hospital. “ 

“ but he’s OKAY JAY?! “ Callum shouted, frantically. He doesn’t care that people are staring at him and given the Highway lad weird looks. 

“ We don’t know. “ 

Callum bit back tears and tried not to break down. 

-

Callum charged through the London hospital and ran faster when he spotted jay sitting down on the plastic chairs. 

“ Jay! “ he looked up and let out a breath. 

“ He’s in intensive care. “ 

“ What the hell happened? “ Callum’s voice broke. 

“ He was fixin an engine and it got stuck which made a massive 6 inch cut on his arm. “ Jay explained quickly. “ And when he yanked it away, it caused his wrist to be fractured.”

“ Why didn’t he not ring anyone? “ 

“ The consultant said he collapsed from lack of blood and shock. “ 

Callum fell slowly onto the chair running his fingers through his hair. He can’t lose him. He can’t. It’d be impossible to lose the love of his life, he won’t ever be the same if Ben died. What about Lexi? She won’t have a dad no more. She will be so sad. 

“ Callum calm down! “ 

“ ..I can’t.. he can’t die jay!...” 

Jay forced the Highway lad to look at him. “ He won’t die Callum. He is in the right place and he’ll be loved after. “ 

“ ‘ave you told Lola? “ 

“ Yeh, she’s gettin Ian to pick up lex and she’s tryna get through traffic. “ 

Callum whimpered. “ I didn’t even say I loved him this mornin.” 

“ He knows you love him Cal. “ 

Callum sniffled. 

“ I wanted to marry him. “ 

“ and you will Callum. “ 

A female consultant comes up to the two men. “ Mr Mitchell’s family? “ 

“ Yes. “ 

“ we will be takin him out of intensive care in 2 days. The lose of blood has caused his organs to shut down, including the lack of oxygen. “ 

“ he ain’t ‘ave brain damage will he? “ Callum murmured. 

“ No, but if he was left longer. He would or even be dead. “ 

“ Can I go in and see him? “ Callum asked. She accepted. He walked in, not bothering to glance at jay. Callum silently broke down when he saw his gorgeous fiancé with a tube down his throat. All limp and unconscious. 

“ You better wake up Ben. You ain’t changin, I love you. Please just - be okay. “ Callum whimpered into Ben’s right, okay arm.


	93. Chapter 93

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #113 -Callum finds out jay told Ben off for moping and includes sympathetic jay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Alphabetgirl x

Half way through the movie Ben got up and went to bed. He couldn’t deal with sitting in a room full of white noise and everyone could be in content.   
How Lola and jay were cuddled up, Lex laying on Callum’s chest and sitting on his lap. How Ben felt so alone with a full room. 

Callum saw from the corner of his eye that Ben left. He was about call after him before reality hit. Lola noticed the silent commotion and gently told him to leave it. Ben needs time to himself. Ben needs time with Callum, he needs his comfort blanket. But nobody came, when Ben lay in the bed for 5,10,15 minutes. Callum never came. 

If Ben let himself sweetly cry in his pillow; the reality of never being heard or have his hearing made him feel titchy. How Ben took his hearing for granted, thinking it will always be there, his hearing won’t just go in a blink of a eye. How wrong he was. He missed it. He missed hearing water running or the footsteps. 

Instead, he was hearing a white noise that was the sound of his heavy heart. 

A soft yellow light seeped in. Ben pretended to be asleep. Callum took off his clothes and held his phone when he snuggled into bed.   
He traced his fingers through Ben’s hair and skin listening to his boyfriend whimper and deep heavy breathing, trying to compress a sob. 

Callum traced on Ben’s arm - I know you’re awake. 

Ben slowly opened his red rimmed eyes and murmured “ how did you know? “ 

Callum typed in his phone that Ben was crying. Which made Ben cry more because he couldn’t even hear himself. 

“ I hate this cal. “ Ben broke. “ Jay said I need to stop moping but how can I not?! I’ve lost me hearing. “ 

Callum frowned, typing in his phone. He said that? 

Ben saw the blurry words but just made out what it said. “ y-yeh he did but I feel so low cal. “ he confessed heavily. “ I feel so sad and I can’t ‘elp it. I want me hearin back. 

You could try the operation? 

“ It has risks. It probably won’t even work. I’m damaged. “ 

You are not damaged. You are still you Ben Mitchell and hearing or not, that can never take away your personality. 

Ben scoffed wetly. “ I am Cal. You’ll soon realise you don’t want me no more. “ 

Callum held Ben’s face and pressed a kiss to the temple. “ I will always love you. “ he put Ben’s fingers to his voice box, he felt it ripple and vibrate. 

Ben snuggled into his boyfriend’s chest and cried more. “ I wanted to be better for you and lex. “ 

Callum held him tighter than ever before. 

-

In the morning. Callum made him a full English and slowly made love to him, making Ben realise Callum wants him and just him alone. 

Callum also told jay off. Who apologised to his brother and hugged him.


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #114 - Callum dealing with dizziness & feeling faint ( that u get during the early stages of pregnancy, due to low blood pressure) and Ben looking after him? Ben could freak out when Callum does actually faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Prompter x

Callum got up from bed and immediately had black dots forming in front of his vision and he fell back down onto the mattress. He sat there for few short moments regaining his vision and the dizziness slowly fading. He groaned slightly before getting back up, he felt bit uneasy but better. 

He put on his joggers and baggy hoodie, fingers brushing past his slightly outstretched tummy.   
He walked through into the kitchen where his fiancé stood cooking breakfast. 

“ hello baby. “ Ben smiled naturally, kissing him on the cheek before kissing him longingly on the lips. “ ‘ow you slept? “ 

“ Fine. “ Ben narrowed his eyes at him. “ Was bit dizzy when I got up. “ he added, reluctantly. 

“ hmm. Probably low blood sugar. “ Ben assumed, going back to the microwave. “ Cooking pancakes. “ 

Callum leaned against the wall, feeling off. He felt sick and dizzy with a ache forming in his head.   
He ignored it. “ Hardly cookin it then are ya? “ 

Ben scoffed. “ Cheek. I’m makin me fiancé breakfast & u don’t even ‘ave the decency to say thanks! “ but continued to make his beloved soulmate his brekkie. 

Callum chuckled, stepping 3 feet to him and wrapping his arms around his small waist.   
“ Thank you baby. “ he pressed a kiss to the neck. Ben swayed in his embrace whilst feeling the impregnated stomach against his back. If he has a tingling feeling down his body and his tummy turning to soft goop. He isn’t going say anything. 

“ I’ve got some fruits for ya as well. So you don’t miss out on the vitamins. “ 

“ How thoughtful. “ 

“ well I can’t ‘ave me lover malnourished can I? What sort of husband would I be? “ 

“ Not a husband yet are ya? “ He teased. 

“ And because of you, we ‘ave to wait till we ‘ave the baby! “ 

“ Because I don’t our weddin photos with me lookin like a blob! “ Callum protested, moving out of bens space for him to get the 3 different kinds of fruits. 

Ben put the individual orange pieces into a small bowl with strawberries and grapes. “ You ain’t a blob. “ he applies Nutella onto the 2 pancakes. 

“ But I’ll be gainin weight and be growin not shrinkin! “ 

Ben puts Callum’s breakfast onto the kitchen table, being calm. Like he is used to Callum’s worries and dramatics. 

“ Baby, the love of my love, my sweet dearest. Please eat your breakfast. “ Ben pleaded, giving him a sympathetic kiss to Callum’s pouted lips. 

Callum didn’t say anything. He sat down and saw the black dots again, he squeezed his eyes shut trying to stop feeling so dizzy. 

“ Callum you okay? “ Ben touched his shoulder, nerved. 

“ fine. “ Callum answered on autopilot. He ate his food trying to not be sick. 

-  
Few days later it was getting steadily worse and of course Ben found out 2 days ago. When he witnessed Callum falling back down onto the couch.   
So Ben has become a nurse and looking after his future husband. 

“ Ben I’m okay. “ Callum was slightly annoyed. Ben hasn’t let him leave the bed, which he wouldn’t mind if they was shagging like rabbits. But instead he hasn’t got a stiff, instead his muscles have from lack of exercise. 

“ Babe you are experiencing dizziness which can be a sign of low blood pressure and sugar levels dropping. You need to relax. “ 

Callum glared at him. “ You can’t make me stay in bed all day! I’ll get bed sores! “ 

Ben clicked his jaw. “ I don’t want you faintin and bein vulnerable on yew own. “ 

“ Come ‘ere. “ Callum opened his arms. Ben tucked himself in Callum’s side and rested his head on Highways chest. 

“ I know you worry but you can’t keep me in bed forever without even lettin us shag. “ 

Ben burst out laughing at the bluntness. Till it passed. “ I don’t want us to lose this little one. “ he rubbed Callum’s tummy. 

Callum stroked Ben’s neck with his right hand thumb, stroking 3 inches backwards and forward.   
“ We won’t. You spoke to the doctor and he said take it easy, it’s normal to feel this way. “ 

Ben sighed, knowing he is right.   
“ I’ll lay off bein a nurse for while then. “ 

And now it’s Callum’s turn to smirk. “ Well don’t lay off it completely. I like you lookin after me & bein me little slave. “ 

Ben looked up at him with a glint in his eye. “ Mr Mitchell- Highway Do you ‘ave a slave kink? “ 

“ Only if you ‘ave an apron on fully naked with a black, silk bow on yew. Then yeh, guess I do. “ 

“ If you’re good boy. You might just get that. “ 

-

Ben and Callum walked to the Vic. He calmed down a bit from worrying and when Callum mentioned that they could go to the pub. Ben was worried before thinking that’ll be a good idea, they can’t stay in the flat forever. 

“ I’ll get the drinks in babe. “ Callum told him, making his way to the wooden bar as Ben found a table. 

“ alright son? ‘Ows me grandson or daughter ay? “ 

Callum couldn’t help the smile that came onto his face as his cheeks reddened slightly. “ Good. “ 

“ And the mornin sickness ain’t been bad? “ Mick worries, he will forever worry about him. He has been since Callum was a little green hopper. 

“ Nah that’s gone better now, hardly get it no more. “ Callum steadied on the spot, feeling a weight being dropped onto him; his stomach churning as his vision went loopy. 

“ I me Linda was terrible with Lee, always bein sick but tha hospital give her meds. “ 

Callum was going to collapse, feelin weaker and weaker.   
“ Boy, you okay? You want sit down? “ Mick leant over the bar touching Callum’s arm but he didn’t notice, barley keeping his posture. Ben was alerted by the landlords concerned voice and made his way to Callum. 

And like a disconnection. Callum was falling to the hard floor. Nothing was going through his head, his brain not alerting him for any danger. The last thing he saw was the floor when his limp body hit the floor. 

“ Callum! “ 

-

Callum slowly woke up disoriented. The IV drip pulling at his skin in the crook of his arm. Ben squeezed Callum’s hand and was hovering over him anxiously. 

“ your okay cal. Your in hospital.” 

And Callum grunted, feeling dreadful. “ ugh why I’m I ‘ere? “ 

Ben worriedly frowned. “ don’t you remember? “ 

“ think I fainted? “ he was confused. 

“ you did cal, was at the Vic. Your blood pressure was too low and the mornin sickness has lowered your immune system becos you feelin so ill. “ Ben explained to him clearly. “ You ain’t been lookin after yourself properly. “ 

“ but you’ve been lookin after me. Me little slave. “ Callum weakly chuckled, locking their hands tighter. 

Ben brushed Callum’s hair back from his forehead. “ I baby but I was only lookin after ya when you eventually told ma bout your dizziness. “ Mitchell said. 

“ Just wanna go home. “ 

“ I know you do. They just wanna have closer inspection on ya and then probably prescribe ya something. “ 

“ sorry for worryin ya. “ Callum’s hand reached up and stroked Ben’s cheek. 

“ I’ll always worry bout ya, you muppet. “ Ben’s other free hand rested on Callum’s belly. “ The concept of losin both of ya nearly kills me. “ 

“ I take better care of lookin after me self. “ Calum agreed, and then asking Ben for a kiss. 

They’ll be okay. All three of them.


	95. Chapter 95

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #115 - Do one where Ben signs “ I love you “ to Callum?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Enya189 x

Ben knows he has been difficult to be around with. How he snaps and shuts people out, when he self destructs. When he met that Hugo in The Prince Albert. All he wanted was to act normal and then that rich, middle aged man came along & he couldn’t miss the opportunity to steal his car. But of course Callum found him, he found his boyfriend chatting to a bloke and then they both left together. Leaving Callum standing there heartbroken & confused at Ben’s mixed signals. 

All Ben wanted to do was run back to his boyfriend. But when he was already walking out of the door, with the idea stuck in his mind. Ben can’t leave it. 

Life never is kind to Ben Mitchell though, of course he gets arrested. Of course Callum collects him and does not speak a word. When they get back to the flat Callum is dangerously calm. 

“ Callum? “ 

He ignores him, carries on cleaning the already tidy kitchen. 

“ Please don’t ignore me - I don’t know if you’re talkin or not. “ 

Highway finally turns around and crosses his arms over his chest glaring at Ben. If he didn’t look so vulnerable sitting on the sofa, Callum would wrap him up in his arms. But he is as stubborn as Ben and it won’t let him back down. 

“ What the fuck were you thinkin?!” Callum hardly ever swears ( okay he does when he trips, stumbles, drops/about too but doesn’t curse in every sentence). 

Ben flinches at his angry face, reading his lips but only gets few words. “ I’m sorry. “ 

“ But why go to the Prince Albert? Why meet up with that bloke and stole his car? “ he then nastily laughs. “ what the fuck is stealin a car gunna do? “ 

“ Don’t laugh at me. “ Ben defensively states but he is upset and it shows verbally and in his face. 

“ I don’t understand you Ben. “ 

Ben frowns before starring back at his boyfriend in rage, flinging an arm out in a gesture. “ You bloody know I’m a Mitchell Callum! You know I do criminal acts, heck I even given ya a stolen van! “ 

“ And you never trust me with anything! You never speak to ma! “ 

Ben backs down, shaking his head and then looking tiredly at him. “ Because it means your weak. “ 

“ But you force me to talk? “ 

“ I care bout ya. “ 

“ Yeh care but I hardly know you love me. “ 

“ what? “ Ben is gobsmacked, fully sat up now with his heart hammering in his chest. Callum must know he loves him. Ben would rip up the Earth if Callum was in danger. 

Callum huffs, hating that he let that slip. His stupid insecurities again. He collects his coat putting it on and shrugging Ben off when he tried to stop him. 

“ P-please don’t leave me cal. “   
Ben pleads, clutching Callum’s blue shirt. “ you know I luv ya. “ 

Callum’s jaw clicks, stared at his boyfriend for short while. “ I need clear me head. “ and for a final time, shrugging out of Ben’s grasp and leaving the flat. Ben stares at the empty space if not his heart. He can’t believe Callum feels this way. Surely he knows Ben loves him? Callum should know Ben is bad at talking about his feelings and exposing his inner vulnerability. But Callum should know surly? 

Callum always shows Ben the love though doesn’t he? In his cooking and kissing and sex, how Callum traces “ I love you “ in his skin.   
And Ben. He kisses him, hugs him and the way he looks at Callum. 

Ben tears his hair out at the realisation. 

-

Callum comes back 60 minutes later. To a rich smell of spaghetti bolonase. Ben sees movement in the corner of his eye and shyly smiles. “ Cookin us dinner. “ he tells him, nearing insecure. He wraps his hands and arms around Callum’s waist pecking him on the lips.   
Callum accepts it but still closed off. 

“ And the garlic bread in the oven. Haven’t set anything on fire yet. “ Ben jokes and feels better when Callum’s lips tug upwards slightly. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

Ben shakes his head. “ No I am. But I know one thing I am certain of -“ I love you. He signs the British Sign Language for I love you. 

Callum looks the softest. “ I know you do Ben. “ 

“ but you never been wary of it. I’ve always pushed ya away, always been defensive and I guess - I’m scared of lettin me self relax. Incase you die. “ 

Callum’s face falls. “ I ain’t goin no where. “ 

“ You don’t know that. “ Ben’s eyes are pleading & sad. 

“ No I don’t, but what I do know is. “ Callum steps into Ben’s personal space. “ That pasta is sticking to the pan and I am disgustingly in love with you Ben Mitchell. “ Callum deeply kisses Ben on the lips. They hold each other before separating and swaying in a good. 

“ I love you. I love you. I love you. “ Ben repeats after each kiss to Callum’s neck. “ Come on lets have this tea. Then I can make it up to you in bed. “ 

Callum raises an eyebrow. “ Baby, you don’t -“

With one hand staring the pan and the other cupping Callum’s scruffy jaw. “ I do. I ‘ave emotionally neglected me boyfriend. “ 

Callum back hugs the smaller man and nuzzles his nose in his neck. “ Your doin the dishes later on. I aint doin that pasta stained pan either. “ and leaves Ben to plate up the dishes of food.


	96. Chapter 96

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #116 - Ben is pregnant and wants a cast of his bump. Lola helps too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Kate x

Callum is lounging on the sofa eating his body weight in salt & vinegar crisps when a heavy weight is next to him. 

“ I’ve been thinkin. “ 

Callum pops a crisp in his own mouth. “ Dangerous. “ 

Ben slaps him. “ Of gettin a pregnancy cast. “ 

Callum frowns. “ what’s the point in that? “ 

Not expecting that answer if he was honest. “ Well to show the babies how big I was when they was in me tummy. “ 

“ But where would it go? “ 

“ what the cast? “ Callum looked at him if he was stupid.   
“ Yeh Alright- I’ve got a baby brain. We would put it against the wall on the floor. “ 

“ So it’d collect dust and look like a weird object? “ 

“ God Cal, you’re miserable today ain’t yew? “ 

Callum sucked the salt off his fingers and cuddled next to his pregnant babe. “ Whatever stupid idea you want babe. “ 

“ it isn’t stupid and Lola said she’ll ‘elp us. “ 

Callum sat back up and looked at him. “ So you asked her first and I’m the last to know? “ jealous much. 

Ben shrugged his shoulders.   
“ Well I needed a second opinion didn’t I? Google didn’t exactly help. “ 

Callum sighed, losing the will. “ does it cost a load? “ 

“ Barely costs anything babe. “ 

“ Better be worth it. “ 

Ben grins in response for getting his own way. 

-

“ Ew it stinks! “ Ben heaved. 

“ Ben keep still! “ Lola scolded. 

“ Are these really made with no salt?! “ Callum read the crisp packet ingredients. 

“ Callum Shut up! “ Ben snapped at his boyfriend who’s sitting on the couch munching away with the family sized packet. 

“ but it’s dead good though! You don’t get a dry m’outh after eatin a packet of crisps for a family! “ 

Lola shook her head whilst her forehead creasing in rolls as she carried on rubbing the wet cast onto Ben’s 8 month bump. 

“ How do you deal with him? “ 

Ben glanced at his boyfriend who obviously wasn’t listening, too busy eating and looking on his phone. 

“ I love him. And the sex is decent. “ 

“ Such a sap now ain’t ya Mitchell. “ Lola teased. “ You ain’t no serial shagger round West London now. “ 

Ben hummed out a laugh. “ Nah. Callum ruined any bloke for ma. “ 

“ You talkin bout me? “ Callum looked back up from his phone not knowing that he is covered in crisp crumbs and dust. 

“ No babe just - you ‘Ave -“ Ben gestured to his chest, chin and mouth. To keep the most of Callum’s dignity. 

Callum frowned to himself and shouldn’t look that cute scrubbing off crisps off himself.   
“ How’s that goin? “ he pointed at Ben and Lola. 

“ it is done! “ Lola officially said.   
“ we just need wait 30 minutes now for it to try. “ 

“ can’t I sit down? “ Ben was not pleased. “ me feet are killing ma. “ 

“ and that’s how I felt when I had lex. Put up and shut up! “ 

“ charmin. “ 

“ Ay lo, did you ‘ave any funny moments whilst you was preggers? “ Callum asked her. 

“ no. “ 

“ Short and sweet. “ Ben muttered. 

She shrugged and made a bitch face. “ Dunno not really. I couldn’t fit on the bog properly becos of me bump. “ 

“ Ay Ben you have -“ 

“ SHUT UP HIGHWAY! “ 

“ Ohhh I gotta hear this! “ Lola squalid. 

Ben sternly pointed a finger in her direction. “ no you do not. “ 

Callum was in fits of giggles. “ Don’t worry lo, ain’t missin much. Don’t wanna scar ya. “ 

Lola makes a disgusted face. “ gunna wash me hands. “ and she left. Ben shook his head at Callum in disappointment. 

“ Can’t believe you was gunna expose ma. “ 

Callum shrugged. “ Keepin secrets is bad Ben. “ 

“ So can I tell her the time when I blowed yew. You smacked your head back in the shower and ended up with mild concussion?” 

Callum blushed with embarrassment. “ Shut up Ben.” 

“ hmm ain’t nice is it. “ 

-

After 30 minutes the pregnancy bump cast was complete. Lola took it off Ben and smiled quite pleased with her handy work.   
Highway & Mitchell took it home where it sat in its home - on the start of the kitchen counter where the wall was. 

“ Can’t believe how wide you are. “ 

“ Fuck off Callum or i’ll crush ya in bed. “


	97. Chapter 97

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #117 - - Ben is pregnant and Callum has a pregnancy kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For AnonymouslyAdoresBallum

Callum watched his hubby walk around their house naked apart from his tight briefs. He looked astonishingly hot. Ben was 7 months pregnant now with twins and he had really blossomed out, eating for 3 people helped also.   
Callum loved seeing his husband ( of 2 years ) pregnant. He loved touching him all over, making him food when he so desired and the sex was good. How the bump rubbed against Callum and how the red blush covered the smaller man’s body. Ben panting heavily with his legs wrapped around Callum’s waist and the bump being a physical barrier but Callum pushed against it. 

Maybe he has a thing for Ben being pregnant let’s say. 

“ Baby am I gettin fat? “ Ben stood 6 steps in front of him, hands on side of his big bump waiting for Callum’s reaction. 

“ What?! Of course not. Why yew sayin that for?! “ Callum scrambled to stand up and in one swift move around the glass coffee table. He was in front of him, him so too, touching the tummy. 

Ben looked down at their hands and the bump. He has softened out over the months, getting man boobs ( only small ) but the midwife said that is supposed to happen. Plus, his body is producing milk ready for the babies. 

“ I ‘ave gained weight. “ 

“ And that’s supposed to happen. “ Callum told him straight, moving his left hand around the bump and running his fingers up the man’s chest. Which caused him to shiver from the sensitive skin. 

“ But I ‘ave man boobs. “ Ben admitted, ashamed. “ Bet people laugh at me when I wobble past. “ 

“ You do not wobble. “ 

“ But look at ma! “ Ben stepped back and gestured to his body. The stretch marks are the 2nd worst thing to happen, then the swollen feet, how he has just become bigger. Callum has countlessly told him he isn’t that fat, Ben looks like every other ordinary pregnant person. 

“ You always look at ma when i walk. You ‘ate me cos I’ve physically changed. “ 

Callum frowned, how can he think that? “ i don’t look at you cos I hate you. I stare at you becos I love you and find you fit.” 

Ben scoffed. “ Stop bein biased.” 

“ I ain’t. “ Callum sounded confident. “ I find you fit. “ Callum pushed himself into Ben.   
“ You are the sexiest man I have ever laid me eyes on. “ Callum kissed along Ben’s neck. Who’s hands gripped around his neck and bent his head back for Callum to have better access. 

“ You just have some sort of kink for pregnant people. “ 

Callum slowly walked him backwards and straddled him.   
“ Maybe I do but I only have a pregnancy kink for me husband.”Callum nipped Ben’s ear. 

Ben lifted his hips up. “ ‘ow did I not know-?” Callum sucked hard against Ben’s sensitive nipple making Ben moan & whimper loudly. 

“ I want you to try something on.” 

“ Ohh - What? “ Ben moaned out. 

“ Come with me. “ Callum helped him up and walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Where a luxurious bag sat on the rich covers of the bed. 

“ What’s in there? “ 

Callum tutted, getting the bag and handing it to his husband.   
“ Open it. “ 

Ben frowned at him, rummaging through the silk, cardboard bag and getting out something silky.   
“ It’s a - silk nightie set? “ 

“ You can really make the sexiest things drain can’t you? “ Callum thought it would go well. He was browsing through google and ‘came’ across sexy laundry for pregnant men. 

The one Callum picked was a beautiful navy blue. “ You put this on, you slide it on and it’s supposed to go over the bump too. “ 

“ But I won’t -“ 

“ I got your size. “ 

“ But -“ 

“ Ben stop wrecking the moment. I thought you was the kinky minded in this relationship. Looks like the roles have switched. “   
Ben went to go to put the ( barely any ) clothes on but Callum put a stern hand on his arm. 

“ Where you goin? Get changed in front of yew ‘usband. “ 

Ben grimaced with insecurity.   
“ And I ain’t havin non of that - we ‘ave sex all the time. “ Callum sat on the bed leaning against the headboard.   
Ben slowly took of his boxers under Callum’s heated gaze. The man slid on the pants first ( which looked godlike on his peachy arse ), and carried on sliding the silk material on the rest of his body. The two, thick silk straps going along his bump with the upper half covering his nipples ( bit like a bra ). 

Callum was rock hard. 

“ You look - amazing. Gorgeous.” 

“ why did you buy me this babe?”   
Callum flushed with embarrassment, getting up and pressing his crotch into Ben’s semi hard on. 

“ Because I love you bein pregnant and I can’t cope with it. “ 

The pregnant man looked shy.   
“ You like me bein like this? “ 

Callum kissed him. “ I like you being pregnant. “ 

“ And how are ya goin show me baby? “ 

Callum pushed Ben to lay on the bed and started kissing down the man’s body. He then sucked against the little hole-y material on Ben’s cock making Ben gasp with a moan. 

“ gunna fuck your brains out. “


	98. Chapter 98

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #118 - Instead of Callum getting kidnapped. He gets arrested for ABH & also on suspicion of murder. Which leaves Ben confused af.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Balllum x 1/10 prompts

Ben places the two bags of Chinese food on the coffee table whilst Callum gets the plates and 3rd set of beers.   
“ can’t believe we’re only boyfriends and we’re like a domestic married couple already. “ Ben announced his thoughts, unpacking the steaming food. 

Callum sat down next to his bae.   
“ Nah I dunno - kinda like us bein domestic. A little tester for our future ain’t it. “ 

Ben stopped, mid ripping off the cardboard off the rice and then looking at his equally shocked boyfriend by the words. 

“ You see us bein together in the future? “ 

Callum looked uncomfortable. I mean, they have to have the conversation some time in their relationship don’t they? “ I mean yeh, married, ‘ave few kids. Don’t you - see...that?? “ Callum didn’t typically want the answer if he was being honest. 

And then Ben’s shocked trance soon passed. A little happy smile appeared on his face.   
“ I would love to be Mr Highway some day. “ 

“ Then why the long pause? “ Callum let his body relax slightly. 

Ben shrugged, continuing to get the foreign food out but concentrating on Callum’s words. “ Becos I never thought anybody would want me forever. Me dad ain’t even want ma as a son. “ 

Callum looked sad. “ You know Phil is a potato with no feelin’s. You don’t need him. “ 

“... I know but, it’s a tug for acceptance. “ Ben answered heavily. “ can we not talk bout me dad? I’ll rather us talkin bout something more - significant. “ Ben grinned, kissing him on the lips. 

“ Hmm. Later remember honey.” 

Ben scoffed. “ Alright then sugar pie. “ 

15 minutes and 30 seconds later. A loud knock against the door making both men jump. Callum’s anxiety churning and Ben got up ready to head butt any person who disrupted their night together. 

“ What -“ 

“ I am PC Jones and ‘ere is me colleague, PC Jenkins. Is Mr Highway in? “ The Male Bobby sharply cut in giving no shits that he was rude; he must’ve been having a long shift. 

Ben still being taken back by having police officers at his door. He quickly answered after few seconds of silence. “ Err Yeh he is but why -“the two PC’s barged past the Mitchell lad. 

“ Oi you can’t just walk in -!” 

Callum fully sat up and guilt plummeted on him before it very quickly went. Ben saw it, of course he did. A thousand & one things going through his head. 

“ Mr Highway? “ 

“ y-yes? “ Callum thickly swallowed. 

“ I am arresting you on suspicion of murder and for ABH. “ PC Jones handcuffed Callum making him stand up. 

“ I AINT murder no body! “ Callum pleaded his innocence. He hasn’t got the fogginess about the murder. He hasn’t been involved in anything. Panic grow and anxiety worsened. 

The two officers escorted him out of the flat, with Ben following shouting and raging. 

“ He ain’t done nowt! He’s been with ma! “ Ben become angrier and more frustrated as the two emergency service organisation’s ignored Ben.   
“ Cal do not answer anything till I speak to you! “ He shouted very quickly as the back car door was closed on Callum. 

The neon coloured car drove away with sirens blazing as Ben stood helplessly trying to work out what the fuck his boyfriend has been up too. 

-

Dark. Alone. Afraid. Overthinking. Needing each other. 

Both men feeling the exact same feelings but completely miles apart. Callum on his back laying on the card single ( barely that ) bed with a flimsy blanket on him. The silence detaching him from his sanity. Ben in their bedroom on his side trying to work out how to get his boyfriend out of that police station. He doesn’t even know any of the facts. 

Betrayal. Guilt. Regret. 

-

“so Mr Highway. You are in a relationship with Mr Mitchell. “ PC Grimps looks at him with her head still down. 

“ Yeh I am. That a problem. “   
Sudden confidence came out of nowhere, was it the lack of sleep and food? Ben telepathically given him a boost. 

“ Bein on the defensive is not going to help matters. “ She said. “ And tryna act like a Mitchell isn’t going help your case. “ Her London accent thick enough to not tell which part of London she was from. 

Callum leant back more, crossing his arms over his chest and having a game face on.   
“ I ain’t. I am me own person and not gunna copy me boyfriend or his family. “ 

“ You ain’t squeaky clean Mr Highway. “ The officer back tracked and ignored his attitude. “ You been involved with the police before haven’t you? “ 

Silence. Win. 

“ You been arrested for shop lifting, for damage to property, driving a stolen van -“ 

“ I didn’t know it was stolen! “ Callum yelled. 

“ How can you be so naive to not know it was stolen. “ PC Grimps mocked. “ It was far too cheap for a vehicle of that sort and make. “ 

Callum glared at her for the offensive comment, choosing not to say anything and giving her the Highway evils. 

The cop carried on looking through Callum’s files. “ And then you was arrested for assault again? “ she was too happy to announce all of Callum’s failures. “ On a man called Mr Williams? Apparently you two had a fight and you walloped him multiple of times? “ 

The time when Callum got livid. The alcohol was foaling his tightened emotions he snapped. It was about his army mate - Simon - and this bloke ( Mr Williams) was mouthing off making offensive comments about his race and sexuality.   
Callum smashed his fist into the racist & homophobic face but carried on till other blokes pulled him away.   
He was only 18. When he came back after 2yrs from the army and when Jonno had a blazing row with Callum too. 

“ It does look like you have a patten of beating people up Mr Highway. “ 

“ You make it sound like I go around smashing people up. I ain’t like that. “ 

“ but been arrested twice for it.”   
She deadpans. “ and don’t get me started on the other arrests too. “ 

Callum’s childhood was horrid. Which affected his teenage years and he coped in the best way he could. Self disrupt and make Jonno hate him but see he isn’t just a weak man. That’s why Callum left for the army age 16. To turn his life around. 

“ Your DNA was found on Mr Kings face. “ 

“ Well Yeh If i punched him one its bound to be on him. “ Duh. 

“ And Whitney Dean’s DNA is on him too but I don’t understand why you beaten him up? “ 

“ I was drunk, went through something bad and ‘eard he’d been stalkin Whit again. “ 

“ And you thought the best thing to do is beat him up? Show him who’s boss? “ 

“ To show him he ain’t wanted in the square. “ 

“ And that’s why you helped Mrs Dean -“ 

“ You don’t know shit PC Grimps. I weren’t there and you got nowt to show it. “ Callum smugly said. “ You only ‘ave me DNA on his face and that’s it. No foot prints or other type of evidences. “ He listed. “ You cannot keep me ‘ere - apart from the ABH. Even then, it was practically common assault and did not cause Mr King to die. “ 

PC Grimps looked very grumpy, obviously not happy Callum one upped her one. “ Video type 103X, interview ended at 13:59, Mr Highway being released on bail for ongoing inquiries. “ 

-

Ben breathed out air seeing his man tiredly walk out of the doors to the reception area. “ Baby god -“ he hugged him tight. The past 2 days have been a nightmare. The station did not let Ben speak to Callum at all, nobody could get access to Callum. Finally they had each other. 

Ben kissed him on the lips then neck before growling into his ear. “ You’re gunna tell ma everything. “ 

-

“ Talk. “ Ben demanded. 

Heavy sigh. “ I was drunk and beaten Leo up which ended up bein ABH. “ 

“ After me & u splitting up? “ 

“ Yeh. Me ‘ead was messed up and i just saw red when I ‘eard bout Leo. “ 

“ and the suspicion murder part? “ 

Callum shrugged his shoulders, starring at his coffee. “ I honestly don’t know. They assumed I was involved cos of the DNA on him. “ 

“ but they kept you in for 2 days Cal. They don’t keep you in for that -“

“ I ain’t so innocent as you think Ben. “ 

“ Wot you mean? What else ‘Ave you been arrested for? “ Now Ben is bloody taken back. He never thought this image, this sweet & loving Callum would have a longer track record of arrests. 

“ Assault which again was ABH, damage to property, shoplifting, stealin a van -“ 

“ The van I sold -“ 

“ Yep. “ 

“ But weren’t yew fault?! “ 

“ Yeh I know but don’t worry I was mocked for me naiveness. “ 

Ben rubbed Callum shoulder in pity. “ And they thought you was partly responsible for the murder? “ 

Callum nodded. He doesn’t know why he feels so down about this. Is it because his past self is making a come back and he thought he got rid of it? 

“ Think your attitude has worn off on me babe. “ Callum joked. 

Ben looked very pleased, resting his hand on Callum’s thick thigh.   
“ Wish I was there to see ya all sexy and moody. “ 

“ Are you gettin hot and bothered by me Bein rude? “ Callum teased, looking at him. 

“ i love me bad boys, especially when they’re tall, soft and cute.” 

Callum blushed, looking down in embarrassment. “ I need to show you how pleased I am. “ Ben cut himself off kissing Callum’s face and then neck. 

“ But -“ 

“ But I really want us to shag and then we can discuss what happens next. “ 

Callum tongued Ben and Ben hurled Callum’s hoodie somewhere, straddling his thighs and sucking a hickey on his neck and chest. 

Who knew Callum being a dark horse, bad ass could turn Ben so horny?


	99. Chapter 99

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #119 - Callum is diagnosed with depression & Ben feels guilty for not seeing the signs and symptoms sooner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Balllum x prompt 2/10

Ben felt the most selfish human being on the planet right now. How he didn’t realise Callum had a mental health problem was beyond him. Ben got Highway a Doctor’s appointment, after months ( 9 months ) of Callum being low, disinterested in activities, lack of arousal and being low.   
That is only half of the symptoms Callum had been having. 

But after the doctor giving Callum some anti - depressants. He asked Callum if he wanted counselling. Who said no, he didn’t want to talk about his damaged mind, he didn’t deserve help. 

So, Ben brought him back home. A home where it meant to feel safe, happy and feel loved. Callum didn’t feel any of those feelings. It was dull, empty and he wanted to not exist anymore. 

“ Do you want a hot chocolate with chocolate digestives? “ Ben hesitantly asked him. It felt strange now, now knowing his husband has a mental health label over his head.   
The doctor wasn’t exactly useful. She just said it’d get better. Ben wanted to snap at her. She was a doctor with a medical degree but didn’t have a time travel diploma into the future did she?! 

Ben needs to act normal with Callum. To not make him feel different or see the issue than seeing Callum. 

Callum shrugged, staring into space and not taking notice of anything. “ If you want. “ he dryly replied. Ben awkwardly done the task and came back to his boyfriend who didn’t even glance his way. 

“ remember that time when you dipped your biscuit into some tea and it fell into it? “ Ben went through the memories. “ And it just came back to the top? “ 

“ ....yeh...” 

Ben wrapped his right arm around Callum’s shoulder and rested his head on him. “ Talk to me Cal, Wot you feelin. “ 

“ Empty. “ 

“ It’d pass in time. You’ll feel better one day. “ 

Callum felt like a statue. “ I been feelin this way for so long and I don’t want to feel it no more. “ 

“ Don’t you dare leave me Callum. “ 

“ It feels like I already ‘ave Ben. You don’t need me. “ 

Ben dug his fingers into his boyfriend’s bicep making him more grounded. “ I need you everyday cal. You are everything to ma, to lex - everyone needs you. “ 

“ I’m a nobody. All the things I’ve done, all the mistakes- I’m stupid. I shoulda died -“ 

“ and what? You lose a good life? A future? A family? “ 

“ They’ll be better off without me. “ 

“ No Callum. No it wouldn’t. “ 

“ I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore Ben. I don’t even know why I feel sad, I just feel so lonely. “ 

‘ I’m so lonely. I’m tired of being lonely. ‘ Callum’s exact words from 3yrs ago, when he and Ben first kissed in the dead of the night in the park. 

Was that one of the signs Ben ignored? Was it always there? 

“ Where ever you are, I’m there too. “ 

Callum didn’t respond. He silently picked up his mug of hot chocolate and the biscuit. “ You always made a brilliant hot chocolate. “ he weakly smiled. Ben wiped the crump off the side of his mouth and kissed him domestically. 

“ And I’ll make a thousand of them to show ya I luv you. “ 

Callum lightly chuckled, still feeling off but accepting Ben’s words. “ I’m sorry I’m like this, it ain’t your fault. “ 

“ Still ‘elp but feel guilty for not seein you internally hurtin. “ 

“ you can’t always watch over me Ben. Your me husband, not me carer. “ 

Ben rubbed his husband’s back.   
“ And I’ll be both till you’re neurological well - being becomes healthy again. “ 

Callum let out some oxygen and carried on drinking his cup of hot chocolate. 

-

2 weeks since Callum has been taking the medication and he has gotten worse than better. The doctor did say this type of medication will make Callum worse over the first few weeks and he will eventually improve after 4 weeks & 6 days. 

Ben has been bringing food and drinks to his husband’s bedside table for the past few hours ( and past 2 weeks ). Callum hasn’t left the bed ( only for the toilet ), he doesn’t see the point. There isn’t point seeing the world when you’re not meant to be in it.   
Lexi has been seeing him and talking to him. Callum has tried to make conversation for his step daughter but he can’t be capable with verbal interaction.   
So, they usually sit in silence or Lexi leaves him be. 

“ Right come on cal, eat this. “ Ben has a bowl of vegetable soup and some crumbly ( but soft ) bread. 

“ No point in eaten. “ 

“ yes there is. Please just eat it for me if not for ma, for lex. “ 

Callum blinks again. When Ben thinks he won’t, the depressed man slowly slides up and is in a sitting position. He leans against the headboard and Ben places the try on his lap. 

“ Eat some of it. “ Ben pushes Callum’s hair out of his eyes.   
“ Do you want me to brush your ‘air? It’s gettin bit notty. “ 

“ You can if you want. “ 

When Ben has brushed his husband’s hair. Callum has finished all his food. He was hungry, but that is likely when you have barely eaten. 

“ Why do you love me Ben? “ He suddenly asks him. When Mr Mitchell- Highway is about leaving the bedroom. 

“ You are me ‘usband. I luv your bubbly, soft personality. ‘Ow you get passionate ‘bout your x-box games. When you get all soft and sappy, you accepted lex as your own. I luv every single trait and fibre of you cal. “ And Ben leaves after his passionate reply. He hopes that is enough for Callum to hang onto in his darkness days. 

Even in the darkness. There is one small hole of light. Callum gets out of bed and slowly wraps himself around his husband. 

“ I luv u. “ 

Ben could cry. “ I love you too baby. “


	100. Chapter 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #120 - Callum comforting Ben after the square became aware of Ben’s full deafness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Noidea x

Ben didn’t want to see anyone. He wanted to be alone but have Callum there with him. Everybody knows about his deafness now, they’ll all be mocking him and laughing that tough Mitchell is deaf and will be dependent on other people. 

Callum wipes away an escaped tear from Ben’s eye. It’d get better. Callum texts. 

“ It won’t. I’ve lost everything. Me livelihood, me independence - I have to be dependent on others now. “ 

You ain’t dependent on others, there’s technically for people who’s deaf. 

“ And be a sad loser who has to wait for technology? I have to relay on that? “ Ben harshly stated. Callum knows he isn’t taking it directly at Callum but Ben is angry at the new environment, needing to adjust. 

Ben flops Callum’s iPhone 6 back on his boyfriend’s tummy waiting for Callum’s reply. 

I know yew hurtin. I know I don’t fully understand wot your going through but I am here, don’t push me away - again. 

A small sigh leaves his lips and crawls up Callum’s body. He pressed his lips against the skin and strokes Callum’s naked chest. “ I don’t mean to push you away, I’m just used to not havin support and love. “ 

Callum tugs his left side of his mouth and plays with Ben’s short - ish hair. “ I know baby but you won’t get any if you keep bein a prick. “ Callum smirks at the insult.   
Ben playfully makes a face and slaps Callum’s chest. 

“ luv you cal. “ 

“ I luv you too. I just want ‘elp yew. “ 

Ben rests his head on Callum’s chest and lets his fingers trial on the side of Callum’s body.   
“ I just want stay in self pity for short while. Me & u, ‘ere and stay in our little bubble. “ 

Callum gets the quilt and properly covers them both. He texts with one hand. When you feel up to it, we can get your confidence back. We can try to get your self esteem back. 

Ben yawns into the soft skin.   
“ M’just want us to lie ‘ere, just want feel me boyfriend with me.” 

Callum’s soft fingers trail through Ben’s locks as he slowly falls asleep under Highways touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am slowly getting through the prompts x


	101. Chapter 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #121 - Callum is on the verge of breaking point after caring for Ben for weeks and when he is finally by himself. In his flat. He has a complete emotional breakdown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Balllum - prompt 3/10

Callum’s feels like there is shards of glass against his feet on the pavement to his flat. Ben now at Kathy’s and Ian’s after their blazing argument. Ben pushing him away again, going on a ‘date’ in the Prince Albert and drunk driving with Hugo back to his house. 

It goes on a loop in his head and Callum wants to scream for it to stop. 

-  
( The argument ) 

Ben slams the door shut in Callum’s face making the inside of the house rattle as Callum angrily reopens it and slams it behind him.   
Ben storms into the living room and glares at Callum. “ Why do you always wreck things?! “ 

Callum barked an angry laugh at the nerve of his so called boyfriend. “ Me? You was on a date with a bloke! You was organising a fucking deal when you couldn’t ‘ear nowt! “ 

“ BUT I HAD TO TELL HIM didn’t I?! “ It rockets out of Ben. “ I had to save you yet again! “ he slightly slurs, from the alcohol but barely noticeable now from the adrenaline seeping in. 

“ What’s that supposed to mean Ben? You’re talking as if I’m your lap dog & I’m too stupid enough to defend me own!“ Callum’s flings an arm out after he jabbed himself in the chest when directing his words about himself to Ben. 

Ben can barely understand the words. Highway is talking too fast but he gets some of them.   
“ You gettin into trouble with Danny, me Havin to save ya from gettin ‘urt, you gettin kidnapped and me Havin to get ya! You ain’t strong enough. “ Ben is just about calm now and that is what hurts the most. The calmness he doesn’t even sound angry, frustrated yet but Callum can’t feel the anger anymore. 

You ain’t strong enough. 

That’s all Callum has ever felt from his early teenage hood to now. He has always thought he was weak, fragile - pathetic. Now Ben sees it too. He sees that Callum can’t handle himself, he sees that Callum isn’t worth having because he always has to be ‘save’. How pathetic is that? So many times Callum has yelled “ I’ve been in the army “ but that means - nothing doesn’t it? 

Callum snaps. “ if we’re talking about who’s weak do we want talk bout you? “ he walks closer to Ben seeing a red mist. He grabs hold of Ben’s shirt and drags him to the door, slamming him against it. 

Ben tries to get out of his tight grip but he is too strong for Ben. 

“ Mr I can too precious for daddy’s love, Im just his little slave to get the devoted love outta of him. “ Callum mocks. He doesn’t mean it. This is why he doesn’t like being angry, this is why he hates his own dad because Callum has inherited his temper. 

Ben looks away for a split second hurt. “ Shut up Callum.” He tells him, voice hard. 

“ No why should I? You keep telling me I’m weak that I keep Havin the hero Ben Mitchell save me. But all I have done is help you, all I have done is support you and what have you done? “ Callum pushes Ben into the door again with a thud. “ Push & push and push me away. You ain’t even been fucking grateful enough to say thanks, thanks for looking after me. “ Callum leaves him being pushed on the door. Callum stands away from him, needing to be away or he’ll do something he regrets. 

Out of control of his own emotions. 

“ Do you understand the things I had to do for you? I had to leave me dream job to stay with you! “ 

Ben scoffed. “ Dream job? Cal if it was a dream job you would’ve done it by now. “ 

Callum groans out a frustrated sound, jabbing his long fingers in the side of his head. “ you don’t understand do you? No of course you don’t, all you have known is dodgy stuff, all you have known is dirty money and scam your way through life.” 

“ ..... “ 

“ But I am done. “ 

Ben looks back up at him seeing the movement. 

“ What? “ 

“ I. Am. Done. With. You. “ 

Ben looks scared. “ No cal, don’t leave me. “ one second he is against the door and the next he is pleading with his boyfriend. “ please don’t I love you. “ 

“ No you don’t. I don’t want this no more. “ 

Ben cries. “ I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry - I didn’t mean wot I said please I need you. “ 

Callum shrugs him off. “ I can’t be in your life anymore Ben. I can’t handle your mixed messages anymore. “ 

“ Callum -“ Ben whimpers, falling to his knees when Callum left him alone. 

“ STUPID! STUPID STUPID STUPID! “ Ben repeatedly punched the floor sobbing his heart out. 

Why is he like this? 

-

The flat is like suicide. Too quiet, memories of him & Ben feel like years ago. Old. Callum wants Ben, wants to tell him everything will be okay, they will be okay but they won’t. He isn’t stupid. 

Ben isn’t capable of dealing with his own feelings. He keeps pushing people away, keep self destructing and is expecting people to stay with him.   
Expecting Callum to stay with him because he loves him and god he does. Callum didn’t know love would feel this strong & suffocating but even that isn’t enough sometimes. 

Callum wants to help Ben. He wants to try to show him there is light at the end of the tunnel. But how can he when Ben is so incorporative? 

Two heartbroken men with similar issues unable to see how much they can actually help each other. 

Callum bursts his little, golden heart out as the fat tears fall like the waterfalls. He just wants to be loved.


	102. Chapter 102

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #122 - Callum & Ben are at the Prince Albert having few drinks with Lola&Jay. A guy starts flirting with Callum but Ben immediately de-escalates the flirting and so does Callum.  
But the guy leaves whilst slipping a drug into Callum’s drink which has a bad effect on him & Ben tries to deal with his boyfriend & try to not get a murder charge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For prompter x

“ Awee come on guys seriously?” jay grimaces as his mate ( and work colleague ) does the tongue tango with his brother. 

Lola hits her boyfriends firm yet not so firm chest and giggles into her coke & vodka as she glances at her mates/family. 

“ Aw leave ‘em alone jay! “ 

Ben pulls away from his own boyfriend and has a full Ben Mitchell smirk on. “ Yeh Jay - unless you want a bit of Ben Mitchell? “ 

Callum looks disgusted. “ Don’t we luv bit of incest ay? “ 

“ Technically we ain’t related by blood. “ Ben informs him, still amused. 

“ And thank god for that. “ Jay tells him straight but everyone on the table know Jay is joking and it is just their brotherly banter. 

Ben grins still, a fizzing sensation going over him from the mixed alcohols he had consumed. “ It’s dead in ‘ere tonight. “ 

“ Well we do have the two funeral parlour directors in ‘ere.” Lola comments, gesturing to a tipsy Callum who takes no notice and Jay. Whom is offended. 

“ Er -“ 

“ Babe get us more drinks. “ Ben orders him with a glint in his eye. “ I want to see stars. “ 

“ Well just look outside then? “ Callum seems genuinely confused. 

“ You plonker! He means he wants get wasted! “ Jay shakes his head at his work colleague. 

“ oh! “ Ben pecks him on the side of the mouth and then teasingly slaps Callum’s bum as he leaves their table. 

Callum can hear his table’s loud laughs over the vibrating music and then feels a presence next to him. “ alight baby? “ thinking it was Ben. 

“ I am now. “ The man purrs, strolling his finger up and down Callum’s arm. Who moves away from him embarrassed. 

“ oh -no -I’m with me boyfriend sorry. “ forever the gentleman Callum is. Thinking there is a need to explain to a complete stranger. 

“ Aren’t you a cute one. “ Purrs the man. Callum blushed more.  
“ Wots ya name? “ 

“ Callum. “ 

“ Harry. “ Harry cocks his head to the side. “ but you can call me any name you want baby. “ 

Callum doesn’t know what to do. Harry isn’t doing exactly anything wrong is he? So it’d be rude of Callum to decline him. 

So Callum opts to awkwardly laughing, subconsciously waiting for Ben to come and save him. 

“ So wot? Ya boyfriend left ya has he? “ 

Callum shakes his head and swallows. He is obvious to Harry’s dark eyes watching every move and looking at every detail of Highway’s face. 

“ No he wanted ma to get the drinks in. “ 

“ Well I wouldn’t ‘ave ever leave a fit guy like you on his own. “ Harry’s stubbly fingers trace over Callum’s hand. “ Men ‘Ave always said they like me touch. It seems you’re quite the opposite. “ 

“ I ‘ave a boyfriend. “ 

Something in Harry’s eyes flicker but Callum can’t place it.  
“ Let me buy ya a drink Callum.” 

“ Nono it’s okay -“ 

Harry slides his hand on Callum’s love handle and gives a gentle squeeze. “ I insist beautiful. “ he then demands a triple shot of vodka for the both of them. 

“ I ain’t a shot type of guy. “ 

“ Well you’re my type so I guess we’re even. “  
And this is why Callum hates being awkward. He is too far in the conversation to go. How is he meant to go? He looks over to his table and Ben is no where to be seen. He guesses Ben went to the toilet and how he didn’t see his boyfriend & Harry talking he doesn’t know. 

Harry took the advantage to slip two dissolvable pills into Callum’s small shot glass.  
“ drink this. “ 

Callum does as he told. One shot won’t hurt. “ I best be goin -“ 

Only Harry has other ideas. He slips his hand in the back of Callum’s trousers and the hot breath against Callum’s neck makes him grimace. 

“beautiful little treasure. “ 

“ Getta off him! “ Ben hurls the tall bloke off his boyfriend. “ He’s mine - back off! “ he hisses, possessively. 

Amusingly, Harry laughs at Ben. Ben doesn’t like being laughed at. “ Your boyfriend is one of the kind mate. Can’t we share? “ 

Callum takes Ben’s hand and forces him to walk away. “ come on. “ 

“ I BET HE LOOKS GORGEOUS BEING FUCKED BOTH ENDS! “ 

Ben growls in the back of his throat. “ I’m gunna kill him. “ 

Callum forces him to sit down and puts his hand firmly on his thigh. “ no you ain’t leave it. “ 

“ But he was all over ya! 

Lola frowns, interrupts jay before he has the chance to even speak. “ who? “ 

Ben slurpy points to the Now empty space. “ that bloke - touching wots mine. “ 

“ Mate Callum ain’t an object. “ Jay objects. 

“ no but he is my human and I marked him. “ Ben throws his leg over Callum’s man spread ones. “ Aren’t you baby? “ 

Callum’s fingers find their home on the back of the man’s head and kisses him on the lips. “ just yours sweetheart. “ 

“ hmMM. “ Ben grins into their kiss. 

-

40 minutes later. 

Ben, Lola and Jay are all astonished by Callum’s antics. The man has been getting steadily drunker and temporary lost all of his inhibitions. 

Callum is lap dancing a lap dancer whilst going from stripper to stripper and pouring whisky and lemon drops onto the male’s fine chest. 

“ Wot has gotten into him?” Lola slowly said. 

“ Mate ya sure he ain’t taken nowt? “ Jay asked his brother. 

“ I think he’s just Havin a good time. “ Ben drinks his larger watching in amusement. Sure he is slightly jealous that Callum is practically getting a stiff on a professional stripper. But his baby gay ain’t no baby no more. 

“ This ain’t like him tho. “ 

And that’s true. Even Ben has to accept. 

Callum stumbles his way back to the table sweating furiously. “ M’need ‘ore ‘um! “ he slurs, speech becoming intensely worse. 

“ Babe maybe slow down a bit.” Ben hovers beside him, frowning at his boyfriend. Callum’s eyes are dilated, vision blurry and everything is too bright. The loudness sounds booming whilst his head feels like it is floating & too heavy. 

“ Whaat? “ Callum dips his head down, unable to hold it up. 

“ You need to sit down. “ Ben repeats louder. 

Only Callum isn’t listening. “ those blokes are fit! “ Callum announced to the whole E20.  
“ I want bring ‘em ‘ome & ‘ave a three sum with ‘im! “ 

Lola and Jay can’t help but laugh at Ben’s offended face.  
“ And wot bout me! “ 

“ Who?” 

“ Me Callum, your boyfriend? “ 

“ I ain’t have one. “ 

And only then do all three of them ( apart from Callum ) realise he isn’t actually talking to Ben. He is talking over his shoulder and eyes glazed over. 

Callum’s been spiked. 

Jay helps Callum to sit down and orders a water. Whilst Ben panicky tries to coax his Callum back. 

“ Baby? Do you ‘ear me? “ Mitchell cups the scruffy jaw. 

“M’tired. “ Callum squints his whole face. 

“ has anybody given you a drink? “ Jay shakes Callum’s shoulder. 

“ Did that bloke do anything to ya Callum? “ 

Too many voices. Too many deep, drowsy sounds. 

‘ Callum ‘ 

He looks up and it’s Chris standing in front of him with his army uniform on. White light. 

“ Chris. “ Callum’s whole face delights up. 

“ Who you talkin to Callum? “ Lola is concerned. 

“ Babe lets get -“ 

Callum shuffles past Ben not caring that he is being rough.  
“ No Chris! Don’t leave me again! “ Callum chases after the ghost. 

“ Callum come back! “ Ben stumbles, drunk himself but the cold air makes him sober. 

‘ You need come ‘ere Cal, silly. ‘  
Chris tells him, by the bridge. 

“ Please Stop runnin away! I need to see you! “ 

Jay and Lola are not so far off Ben. “ Callum you ain’t talkin to anybody! “ 

When Callum is about to run up the stairs of the slippery bridge. Ben drags him off them, Callum puts up a fight clearly distressed. 

“ You don’t understand Captain! He’s here! He’s alive we need to save him Sir! “ 

Jay and Lola cast a odd look at each other. 

“ Baby no one is there it’s just me, lo, Jay and you. “ Ben tells him slowly and clearly. Now a sicking realisation Callum has been spiked and drugged. 

“ I want Chris! “ Callum whines with a difficulty of speaking. 

“ Come back to the flat -“ 

“ I don’t want too! I want ben! “ 

Jay comes up and helps to hold Callum’s other side. “ He’s ‘ere mate. “ 

“ i want to go, go back and tell him - I need him -“ Callum scrambles, mentally confused. 

Eventually. Three of them get Callum safely back home. Who is tossing and turning in the bed agitated. Ben told his brother and Lola to go, he’s got it handled and when they were reluctant. Ben told them it is okay and he’ll ring. 

“ M’nonono don’t take me away!” Callum groaned out, trying to move but Ben was straddling his waist for him to not move. 

“ Calm down for ma. It’s Ben, look at ma. “ Ben used restricted practice and held down Callum’s shoulders, not enough to hurt him but enough force for the Highway lad to stop resisting. 

“ B-Ben they’re taking me away!” 

“ Shh. “ Ben brushed Callum’s sweaty hair away. “ go to sleep, you ain’t goin no where. “ 

And like a switch. Callum’s heavy eyes slowly closed shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad EastEnders has suspended and restricting episodes to 2 pair week. However, I am happy all the cast & crew are safe and try to be healthy in this hectic time. 
> 
> I hope all the readers are keeping safe too


	103. Chapter 103

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #123 - The Cochlear Implant doesn’t work 
> 
> Tw - Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ellie x

6 weeks he waited. 1 month and 2 weeks of ringing in is ears, praying and hoping to hear again. Ben grew more and more anxious to the day to reveal if it worked. 

It has also been 4 weeks since the doctor told him it did not work. 4 weeks of crying his heart out, sobbing into Callum’s chest that he is only 23 and is completely deaf. 

“ You can learn sign language. “   
They said. 

“ You can get adaptations. “ They said. 

“ There is nothing else we can offer you. “ They bloody said. 

Ben hasn’t left his bed over a month. He doesn’t want to leave the house, too depressed to move. He hoped so badly it’d actually would work. He thought he was lucky enough for the high above to give him a second chance. 

Callum, bless his heart, has been helping Ben to see the positives. Using that damm phone to communicate with him, the traces in his skin for words, he has been getting Lexi in to make daddy happy. 

“ Why isn’t daddy happy Callum?” 

Callum just stroked her cheek and tugged the small girl into his side and said daddy needs to re-adjust to life again. The two individuals looking in the dark room as Ben’s form in seen under the quilt. 

Ben grew sadder. Ringing became louder. Callum became more tired. Lola was a single parent. Ben grew skinnier. Jay was more busier. Callum’s own mental health was declining. Lexi tried make daddy happy.   
Callum became a carer & was still a boyfriend. 

Everybody has been affected and are falling apart. The one piece isn’t fitting and the glue is breaking their jigsaw and becoming lost.


	104. Chapter 104

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #124 - Lexi gets bullied at school and confides in Callum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Balllum 4/10

Callum picked his step daughter from high school and immediately noticed the negative body language Lexi was showing. She got into the car and didn’t speak a word. 

“ Lex? You alright? “ Callum was looking at the side of her head. After the temporary silence. 

“ Fine. “ She grumbled. 

“ If you want. You can talk to ma when we get home? Daddy is still working in the arches if you want -“

Lexi shook her head. “ no I just want talk to you. “ 

Over the years lex & Callum have grown a solid bond. Lexi does prefer talking to Callum because he lets her speak, doesn’t interfere or does anything to make Lexi unconformable so she would close off and regret speaking.  
The 15 year old girl does talk to Lola, Jay and her dad ( Ben ) but she goes to different ones for alternative type of advice. 

Callum nodded, starting the Audi. “ McDonald’s? “ 

A small tug at the girls lips. “ always. “ 

Callum grinned, always does when he manages to make his little girl smile. 

Once they get their ‘heathy’ tea. They go straight to their home and Lexi tells Callum she’ll put her pjs on and then they will talk about what is bothering her. 

“ Do you want the special Callum Highway hot chocolate?” The man suggested when the girl came back downstairs into the kitchen. 

“ Still can’t believe you’re callin it that. “ 

“ It’s been a speciality for the last 8 years! “ 

“ and your very high expectation of cooking is not? “ 

Lexi is too like her daddy. 

“ You know that is too. “ 

Lexi huffed out a small laugh.  
“ Go on - go and make yourself comfortable and I’ll make this for us. “ 

10 minutes later. Callum placed the two pale baby blue mugs on the coffee table. 

“ One for the princess. “ Callum got his drink back off the coffee table and left Lexi’s there. indicating that he was the princess. 

“ So camp. “ Lexi cringed. 

“ Well you should have seen me on holiday with your dad in Ibiza. I really went all out. “ 

Lexi was horrified. “ God ‘elp me. I’m glad I changed me mind last minute before it was booked. “ 

“ Who said you can’t join us for future holidays? “ 

Terror. 

“ So come on then. Tell us wots the matter. “ Callum nudged her. 

Lexi didn’t look at him. She carried on starring at the mug filled hot chocolate and brought her finger tip to play around the rim of the mug. 

“ People - these girls, they know I’m Bi. “ 

Callum nodded, showing he is listening. 

“ and they’ve been picking on ma, shouting & causing all their excess mates to be nasty too. “ 

“ ‘ow long has this been happenin’ for? “ 

Lexi silently drank her hot chocolate with a stiff shrug. “ Few weeks. “ 

“ and you didn’t tell anybody? Why you left it till now? “ 

Lexi looked regretful. “ didn’t want cause stress on daddy or you. “ 

Callum’s face fell looking pained. He shuffled closer to her and wrapped his long arm around her shoulders. 

“ Our worries are never more important than our little girl. “ 

“ I thought they would stop if I ignored them. “ 

“ Do you want me or your dad to go in the school -?”

“ I don’t want you two gettin’ more bother. “ Lexi admitted. “ They’ve already been nasty ‘bout you two. “ 

“ But we ain’t the ones bein bullied are we? You’re the one goin’ school everyday. “ 

A deep sigh came out of Lexi’s lips. “ Can you not tell daddy? He’ll over react. “ 

Mitchell- Highway tensed beside her. “ you know I don’t like lyin to him. We don’t keep secrets. “

“ Just don’t want him bein sad, thinkin it’s his fault. “

“ I won’t lie - he’ll think it but lex. He wants the best for you and it’ll ‘urt him more if you don’t tell him. “ 

Lexi nodded against Callum’s shoulder. “ I’ll tell him. If you just briefly explain first. “ 

Callum pressed a kiss to the girls head. “ thank you for tellin’ ma & trustin’ me. “ 

Lexi hugged his side ( after putting the mug down ) and instantly felt safer. “ luv you dad. “

“ luv you two lex. “


	105. Chapter 105

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #125 - Callum gets shipped to Afghanistan for 2yrs ( the army ) and when his letters to Ben just stop. Ben gets into a deep depression and self harms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anonymous x

When Callum first told Ben about being shipped away to Afghanistan for 2 years. Both men cried their hears out at the prospect of never seeing each other again. Of Callum not seeing Lexi. 

It has been 2 years and 6 months now and Callum’s letters have stopped. They stopped a year & 3 months ago now. That was the only source of communication between them since Ben’s Cochlear Implant did not work. 

Ben hasn’t left his bed over 6 months. He can’t function and even if he did, he is too frail and skinny to walk. 

“ Darlin. “ Kathy creeps into the stuffy bedroom. She pushes Ben’s over grown hair back and cups her sons overgrown scruffy jaw. It looks terrible on him to be blunt, the thickness does not suit him. 

Ben doesn’t move. He blinks as the white ringing noise gets louder. 

“ Leave me alone. “ 

“ I won’t, you need ‘elp. “ Kathy’s voice cracks, tracing her fingers over the 3D scars on his exposed skinny arm. 

“ I want Callum. “ Ben says, he can’t hear his mum but whenever he can see or feel a presence he weakly repeats himself. 

Kathy gets her phone, after subconsciously forgetting and starts texting her son. 

You need help Ben. Please tel us help you. 

“ Not till Callum comes back to me. “ 

That might be forever. He may never come back. 

“ Then I am going stay here and be with him if he’s dead. “ 

Kathy gasped. Don’t say that Ben! You’ve already wasted so much time and Lexi misses you! 

“ She don’t need me. I want Callum back. “ 

If you really want Callum back. You will help yourself and he ready when he does come back 

Ben turns over and hugs Callum’s pillow and hoodie. 

-

2 years and 9 months. Ben was getting stronger after 3 months of trying to be better for Callum. He was doing intense therapy to deal with his depression and self harm. He & Lex were rebuilding their bond, Lola, Jay and Kathy were the closet support for Ben. 

Till, there was a knock against the back door. Kathy went to answer and all you could hear was “ OH MY GOD! “   
Lola, Jay and Lexi all ran to the kitchen trying to understand what the danger was but - Callum was back. 

Callum. 

“ Oh my god! “ Lola started crying into Callum’s shoulder. “ we thought you was dead! “ 

Lexi was also hugging Callum’s waist, crying nearly hysterically into his clothes. “ Why did you stop responding to us?! “ 

Callum pulled away, he had his own tears falling down his slightly sunken cheeks and his very own beard. “ We was in war, the base lost all its communication and it - it wasn’t looking good. “ 

“ But look at you - you look as bad as Ben. “ Kathy slipped out. 

Callum frowned instantly worried. “ what’s wrong with Ben? “ 

Everybody’s faces fell and become slack with sickness.   
“ Ben’s been depressed, I don’t mean quiet. I mean - ain’t left the ‘ouse in 6 and has been self harming too. “ 

“ W-is - is he okay? “ Callum wanted to breakdown. 

“ Now he is. He has been in therapy, on anti-depressants. “ 

“ Why has be gone like this? “ Callum would have thought Ben would cope without him. Yeh may be bit sad but depressed? Self harming? 

Lexi looked at Callum like he was delusional. “ Daddy Callum, he loves you. You two are soulmates and he can’t function without ya. “ 

“ And it looks like you’ve hardly coped either. “ Jay added after Lexi spoke. 

“ No I ain’t, barely could cope. But the workload ‘elped. “ 

“ Ben’s in the living room. “ Lola said out of the blue, coaxing him.   
Callum stood straighter obviously nervous for some reason. He dropped his rucksack onto the floor and walked to the living room. Ben was sat on the sofa facing the telly. 

Callum put his hand on Ben’s shoulder feeling him tense up.   
However he didn’t turn around.   
Callum came into view.   
Ben looked from the legs all the way up to the face and -

“ Callum! “ Ben sprung onto him, wrapping his legs around the man’s waist kissing the life out of him and hugging him. 

“ I ‘eard ‘bout cha. “ Callum said slowly for Ben to read his lips. 

“ It doesn’t matter. “ Ben shakes his head, his voice thick with an upcoming sob. 

“ I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you no more. But there wasn’t a day go by when I didn’t think of yew.” 

“ I don’t care just - hold me baby. “   
Callum tucked his own head on top of Ben’s head and he sat down on the sofa chair.   
They didn’t even realise Kathy, Jay, Lola and Lexi were all watching. 

Their Ben is finally back with his soulmate.


	106. Chapter 106

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #126 -For the first time, Ben tells Callum he loves him after the operation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Balllum x prompt 6/10

Ben slowly woke up disoriented. Callum was sitting next to the hospital bed clutching his boyfriend’s hand in a tight grasp. 

“ Are you okay? “ Callum formed the words slowly, making sure Ben can understand him properly. 

“ hmm. “ came the groan. 

Pain. That is all he felt. He couldn’t think straight because of the agonising pain in his skull making him more drowsy. 

“ Did it go well? “ Ben rasped out in a slur. 

“ I don’t know baby. “ Callum ran his fingers though Ben’s short hair and then cupping his jaw. 

“ I love you Cal. “ Ben sleepily said, moving his face more into Callum’s touch like a cat fetching attention. 

“ I love you too sweetheart. “ Murmured Highway, stroking the side of Ben’s head where the hair is shaved off to get to the nerves and everything inside. 

“ M’want go ‘ome. “ 

“ You will eventually baby. You gotta wait a little longer okay? “ 

Ben could barely keep his eyes open at this point. “ I just want ‘ear your voice. “ 

“ Whatever happens, hearing or deaf - I’ll still do you in a heartbeat. “ Callum passionately put his heart on his sleeve. 

“ hmm funny. “ Ben droopily outstretched his arm out and stroked Callum’s face with all 5 fingers. 

“ Rest now baby, you need keep your strength up for later. “ 

Ben weakly chuckled with a smile. “ U gettin all hot & bothered are ya? “ 

Callum removed the hand from his own face and scattered various kisses to the pale skin. 

“ only for you baby. “ 

Ben happily hummed again before going limp, going unconscious. 

6 weeks - if he waits six weeks maybe everything will be back to normal. Ben will be hearing again and everything will be okay.


	107. Chapter 107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #127 - Ben finds out Callum is self harming and his boyfriend trying to help him 
> 
> ( different types of self harm issued)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ballum - prompt 8/10

Running - 

Callum, for the 4th time that day, put his jogging gear on and was about to leave the flat when Ben appeared from nowhere - frowning at him. 

“ You goin out again? Babe I’m I meant to be jealous? “ 

Callum breathed out a chuckle. Of course Ben would think that. He cupped the shorter man’s jaw and pressed a domestic kiss to the man’s lips. 

“ Unless you want to be jealous of the scenery and silence? Then no. “ Said Callum when he pulled away and fixed his fitted Nike jacket. 

Ben felt his gut go funny. It was the internal instinct and Callum was lying to him or maybe he was holding back information. 

Ben leant off the 3D corner of the connecting walls and slowly slid his hands around the man’s waist. 

“ you do know u can talk to ma yeh? “ 

Callum swallowed thickly, avoiding the eye gaze and feeling pressured. He knows Ben is on to him about the multiple runs, how they stretch to 3hrs each day. When Callum’s socks are covered in blood on the souls. 

“Yeh course I know. “ 

“ Then why don’t you ever do it?” 

Callum’s mind went into a mental block with his face going slack in worry. “ I - I don’t - there’s nowt to talk ‘bout Ben. “ 

The Mitchell lad shifted his gaze and tightened the waist hug. “ You never want ma to come with you. “ 

“ Becos you’re a lazy bastard. “ Joked Callum. 

“ Then I ‘ave you to see me sweaty and can ‘elp me get ma clothes off then. “ The hands rubbed up & down Callum’s back. 

Callum’s heart beat faster with his lung capacity shortening. Ben can’t go with him. He’ll wreck everything. Ben cannot know the lengths Callum goes to on his runs. Unless, he takes a shorter route. 

“ Babe you can come but you have to catch up with ma. “ 

Ben pushed his lover against the wall and kissed him quietly. “ I can keep a proper watch on ya now. “ 

-

Ben collapsed against the sofa when they got back home. He looked - a state. Which Callum wasn’t even mocking about. Ben was tomato red with thick sweat on his skin and he stank as well. 

“ cal -“ Ben wheezed, throwing a tired arm to wipe away the water. “ - how the fuck do you do it?! “ he grasped out in utter exhaustion. 

Callum was panting a bit but he has grown used to it. Plus the recent run has caused his blisters & cuts to reopen ( on his feet ) and he can feel the combination stinging. It makes Callum grounded for awhile. 

“ I ain’t a lazy, unfit git ain’t I? “ 

“ I’m gunna die. “ 

Callum took pity on him. Highway heavily sat next to him and heavily put his larger hand tightly on Ben’s upper thigh. 

“ At least look decent first babe.” 

“ Fuck off. “ Ben hurled his arm onto Callum’s chest leaving it there. “ I’m concerned babe - when you go runnin for hours and I’m like this for 40 minutes of runnin...” 

Callum moved his eyes looking anywhere but Ben out of guilt and feeling the signs of exposure. He hasn’t been careful has he? 

Callum can’t let his boyfriend ( or anybody ) know he is mentally declining and reaching breaking point. 

Smoking & drinking - 

It has been the 3rd week of Callum’s little ( which was a massive understatement of the century) binge sesh and Ben has grown tired of it now. His boyfriend has been going out every other day for the past ( under ) month and nobody can understand the sudden change in behaviour with the Highway lad. 

Nobody is capable of understanding of the sudden change. If Callum wasn’t running for London. He was drinking London dry and if he wanted to make his bank account bankrupt. He is going into the right direction. 

Callum is sleeping ( or more like unconscious after coming in blind drunk ) and stinks of booze & cigarettes. Ben doesn’t understand what has happened and why Callum is spiralling out of control. 

3hrs later. Callum stumbles out of the bedroom and into the kitchen barely awake, his hair has seen better days and don’t get Ben started on the state of his skin. 

“ You came in late. Again. “ 

Callum has the audacity to not look ashamed as he shrugs looking at his pissed off boyfriend. He swallows 3 painkillers with some lukewarm water. 

“ I’m only 28 Ben - gotta live me life to the full. “ Giggles Callum, still seeming drunk and stumbles again to the table and sits down. 

“ this ain’t normal! You gettin blind drunk every other day! You are tryna escape somethin and you’re strugglin to cope! “ Ben’s opposite Callum now, holding his hands in a tight grasp. 

“.......” A weak shake of the head. Callum doesn’t want to admit anything. He can’t. How can he tell Ben all the nasty, dark thoughts he is having? How he is an excuse of a son, feeling like he is back in the army....

Callum knows he is losing control of his sanity. He knows he is losing his nut. Yet, he can’t think, he can’t do anything but find the next fix to numb the self loathing. To ruin every chase of normality. 

“ No I ain’t Ben. “ 

“ stop lyin to ma! “ Cocky accent came in full as Ben exclaimed. 

Callum cleared his rough throat and rubbed his forehead; a headache forming and all he needs is a dark room - with bottle of the strongest alcohols. 

“ I ain’t Ben - I’m just, I’m enjoyin goin out with ma mates.” Said Callum, finally not being a coward and casting a glance at his boyfriend. 

Ben brought his hand up and cupped Callum’s more so scruffy jaw and stroked the pale & ill looking skin with his thumb. 

“ everybody is worried ‘bout ya. It ain’t like you to do this behaviour. “ 

Callum blinked slowly. He has caused more hassle yet again, why can’t he just disappear? Everyone is getting frenzied and worried when they should be carrying on with their lives. Jonno was correct Callum should “ just drop dead because nobody wants a coward like you “ in their lives. 

Why can’t he be normal, why does he always make mistake after mistake? 

“ I’ll stop it. “ 

Callum hates how delighted and relieved Ben looks. “ Promise? “

Callum nods numbly. “ I’ll slow down. I’m sorry. “ 

Ben squeezed Callum’s jaw and pressed a kiss to the forehead. 

“ luv you baby. “ 

“ Luv you too. “ more than you ever know. 

-

Callum has done his duty for the day, working at the funeral home and now he finds himself at the Queen Vic. He shot ben a message sayin’ they can have their dinner at the pub. Truth be told, he can’t be arsed cooking anything and he just wants to consume alcohol to die the numbing pain. Only, mick is serving and doesn’t look too pleased when he asks for a whiskey. 

“ I ain’t servin ya nowt. “ 

Callum grumbles. “ why? Its a pub Mick, you ain’t allowed to stop punters from drinkin’. “ 

The landlord crosses his arms over his chest and daring him to carry on. “ you’re right. But becos you’re family. I don’t wanna serve ya no alcohol. “ 

Realisation. “ this is ‘cause of the 3week binge ain’t it? I ain’t like Mrs C Mick. “ 

“ Ah and he finally gets it. “ Mick half smiles with his usual bluntness. “ I don’t want ya gettin dependent on alcohol Halfway. “ 

“ I ain’t. “ 

“ L said that and now she’s going to rehab seshes. “ 

Callum rolled with his eyes with annoyance. “ Lemonade with ice then. “ reluctantly he ordered. 

“ that I can do. “ 

Callum’s eyes wonder over all the alcohols and his mouth waters with want. 

Cutting - 

‘ All you ever done is ruin everything! ‘ Jonno screams in anguish, lunching himself at Callum. 

“ I’m sorry! I’m sorry dad! “ Callum scrambles away from his dad, running to the bathroom and locking the door shut. 

‘ WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST BE A PROPER SON?! ‘ 

“ Please don’t ‘urt me! “ Whimpered the man, feeling like that 5 year old boy again hiding away in his bedroom of the council house. 

‘ YOU DESERVE A GOOD BELTIN’ YOU SHOULD’VE DIED IN HOSPITAL! ‘ 

Callum screams in distress into his knees, shaking violently as he sobs loud and full. Everything hurts. He wants the pain to go away. Why can’t it go away?! 

With his blue hands, Callum opens the cupboard on the wall and gets the razor out. 

The first line done. Callum breaths out a breath. Jonno disappears, all of the pain melts away and the stinging brings him comfort. Blood pooling down his stomach as he does 4 more lines. He deserves this, he is disgusting. 

Gay. 

Pathetic. 

Army. 

Chris. 

Ben. 

His mum. 

Jonno. 

He deserves this. 

“ Callum?! “ 

Callum gasps, jumping like a scared cat. The razor slips and cuts his fingers and hand as it clatters on the floor. The injured man can feel & see teats falling onto his hand as the dark blood drops to the blue tales. 

“ Callum come out of there! “ Ben bangs the door, making the wood radiate in its hinges. 

“ No! “ Callum grasps out in distress. Everything is going wrong. He should’ve cut deeper. “ I’m fine! “ 

“ No you ain’t - open the door!!” 

Callum whimpers, sliding down the bathtub and holding his bleeding hand to his chest. Everything is too loud again. The gunshots and men screaming, Chris talking to him, Jonno and Ben shouts. 

He wants silence. 

“What’ve ya done?! “ cries out Ben. Callum doesn’t remember hearing Ben eventually burst in. 

Ben gently takes Callum’s bleeding hand and looks horrified. 

“ wot you done babe? “ Whispers Ben, unable to contain his terror. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

“ P-please just speak to me. “ 

“ I can’t live anymore. It ‘urts Ben. Everything is too loud and I hate me self. “ Callum crumbles over the emotional agony. 

Ben takes his boyfriend’s body and holds him close to his chest, pressing a kiss to his head. Ben got the bathroom towel and applying it against the cut. 

“ You need ‘elp. “ 

Callum whimpers against Ben’s chest. “ I’m too broken. I don’t know wots wrong with ma. “ 

“ you are not broken okay? I’m gunna ‘elp ya, in gunna make you happy again. “ 

A small sob breaks out of Callum. He doesn’t deserve this man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try out different types of self harm ( I know there’s more than three ). In some areas people may feel Callum is just acting “ normal “ and that is how I want it to *slightly* come across.   
You don’t always act suspicious when you are about to do an activity where you’re deliberately hurting yourself. I wanted Callum to have the phase “ calm before the storm “ and in the ending part is when he cannot carry on pushing his internal problems away. 
> 
> If people are curious to know what type of mental health illnesses Callum may have. I feel he has PTSD, depression and, maybe anxiety? 
> 
> I hope people aren’t offended by this or feel it was dull to read. If so, I’m sorry.


	108. Chapter 108

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #128 - Callum already knows sign language & he helps a stranger ( when he accidentally bumps into him ) and Ben sees this. He gets jealous not knowing they are using sign language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For WritersDialect x

Callum had a deaf best friend in high school when he entered year 10. Billy was deaf when he was born and forever been that way. Callum liked billy, they got on like a house on fire and they talked in their own language - sign language. It was amazing you see. You could discuss anything you want and nobody would know ( well if they knew sign language). 

But when GCSE season came ( Year 11, summer time ). Billy was involved in a car accident, which involved his sister & parents. None of them made it. The crash was - horrific. 

Callum stopped using sign language because it made him sad that he lost the only person who made him happy, whole. He lost that part of him where he could sign anything and only Billy knew. 

Now today is Billy’s anniversary of his death. Callum has been down about it for few days but today he has hit the low point. Which is why he wasn’t watching where he was going and he bumped into somebody. 

“ Oh god I’m - I’m sorry. “ Callum didn’t think and put his hand on the man’s shoulder. Who man frowned still shocked and disoriented but pointed to his ears and formed his mouth to say ‘ I’m deaf ‘. 

Oh. Callum automatically started using sign language. He signed ‘ I’m sorry I bumped into you ‘ he flicked his hand out to the man at the end part.

In his late forties, he seemed relieved someone knew his language and started to cooperate with Callum.   
Unbeknown to Callum Ben witnessed his boyfriend signing to this bloke and become suspicious at the hand movements. The way both men were smiling at each other. 

Callum become a tad emotional. The man’s name was Billy and he looked so similar to Callum’s old school mate he would have sworn it was him. Maybe if billy didn’t die he would look like this deaf person. 

Are you okay? 

Callum shook his head and wiped his eyes. I’m fine. He signed. You just remembered me of someone who died. 

The man’s face fell. Can I hug you? 

Callum chuckled and nodded. The two individuals hugged, funny that Callum bumped into him and now they are building some sort of civil ship between them. 

Where as the Mitchell’s eyes glared into Highways back watching them exchange the hug. 

Ben doesn’t like sharing. 

-

What happened in the Walford street still played on his mind when he went to the funeral home. He misses billy, even when he went to the army after his GCSEs, he missed signing to him. He was angry too. Why did billy have to leave the world at such a young age? 

“ You Alright lover boy? “ Ben’s voice filled the silent room making Callum jump. 

“ I didn’t see you come in. “ Callum was surprised, distracting himself. The already sorted & completed papers were being sorted out again. 

Ben crossed his arms over his defined chest still leaning against the doorframe wood panel. “ You was stuck in yew ‘ead. “ 

“ ....just thinkin. “ 

“ bout wot? “ He pushed, voice having an hard edge to it. 

“ None of your business. “ Callum didn’t mean to snap and neither did Ben expect it. 

“ Wot was goin on with that bloke in the street? “ Ben changed the subject slightly and didn’t let Callum push him away. 

A sigh. “ I bumped into him and I signed to ‘im becos he was deaf. Not a crime is it? Considering you’ll know plenty ‘bout goin against the law. “ 

“ Wow you’re really goin all out with these insults ain’t cha? “ 

Callum sighed heavily again rubbing his forehead not even looking at his boyfriend now.   
“ I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. “ 

Ben strolled over to him and sat on the desk in front of him. “ wots the matter Babe? You been not yourself for days. “ 

“ It’s just an anniversary of a school mate who died. “ 

“ Sorry. “ Ben loosely held Callum’s hands. 

“ And he was deaf, the bloke I bumped into was deaf and it reminded me of that unspoken language. That only me and Bil used, it made it feel - exciting knowing only us two would know. “ 

Sounds like a childhood fairytale. 

“ And that’s why that stranger ‘ugged you? You become emotional? “ 

Sometimes Callum hated Ben that he could read him like a book. “ yeh. “ 

Ben’s face become soft and he sat on his boyfriend’s lap hugging him. “ it’s alright now Cal. “ Callum let himself cry into Ben’s chest. “ let it all out. “ he continued to rub Callum’s back not saying a word only needing to comfort him. 

1991 - 2007, Rest In Peace, Billy Smith. 

I will always remember our little language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do people even like my fics/one shots anymore? I feel like I’ve turned invisible


	109. Chapter 109

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #129 - Somebody pulls out a gun on Ben but Callum jumps in the way and takes the bullet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Balllum - prompt 9/10

How Ben finds himself in these situations - he doesn’t know. The deal he was doing thought legit ( in the illegal world ) and Ben read all the papers and shit but this bloke - Thomas - was currently holding a gun to his chest because Ben made one little mistake. 

He didn’t pay the debt in time. 3 weeks over the due date and this gang member does not take too kindly to Ben’s clumsiness. 

“ Look mate -“ 

“ I AIN’T ya mate sunny boy. “ The guff voice echos around the arches room, making Ben shiver to be told. 

“ I’m gettin the money -“

“ you know the deal - no money, no life and guess wot one me boss chooses? “ 

Ben frowns, playing dirty. “ And you’ll still ‘Ave loss of money anyway -“

“ Oh I didn’t mention did I? “ The tall, bulky man smirks psychopathically. “ - we’d be sellin ya body for organs. You’ve got a beau- ti- ful tag on yew. “ 

Ben visibly swallows. The mental visions of his body been ripped to shreds now makes him slightly scared. 

“ I’ll get ya money by next week-“

“ NOT GOOD ENOUGH! “ The man pulls back the trigger and Ben feels a jolt through his body. He didn’t tell Callum he loves him today or Lexi, all thoughts race through his mind. 

“ say bye Ben -“ 

“no-!” 

Suddenly out of the blue. Callum bursts in and flies towards the man and wrested with him. Ben stares in shock, body frozen watching the two men physically fight. Till a bang is heard -

“ try again puff. “ The man makes a final kick to Callum’s ribs but that is the least of his problems. 

“ You can forget it Mitchel - me business don’t want nowt with ya. “ The criminal strolls out, going into the darkness and unknown. 

“ Cal- Callum! “ Ben falls to his knees, holding the sides of Callum’s face. “ P-please look at ma! “ 

Callum moans in displeasure, feeling like he was back in the field again. “ fuckin hell. “ 

“ You’re gunna be okay -“

“ I was protecting ya. “ Mutters Callum. “ I didn’t want you hurt.” He drowsily states, vision seeing double. 

Ben runs his fingers through Callum’s hair not taking notice that they are shaking. A crystal tear falls out of Ben’s eye. 

“ You bein’ the hero yet again. “ 

Callum chuckles, wincing before making a small whimper feeling the broken skin break again. “ B-Ben - “ 

Ben’s finger touch lightly goes onto Callum’s lips making him quiet. “ shhh save your energy. “ 

“ haven’t got much. “ It came out barely a whisper. 

“ You need stop talkin then - I know you luv the sound of your voice but this is takin the Michael. “ 

A small smile creeps into Callum’s pale face. “ funny. “   
It falls and his face turns serious. “ kiss me one last time.” 

“ no! Stop it - you’re gonna be fine! “ Ben cries in denial, cradling his boyfriend’s face. 

“ P-please. “ 

“ I ain’t doin a Romano & Juliet!” 

“ b-but you luv - romantic shit.” Callum whispers, breathing is such a task. He can feel his skin tearing and the blood coming out as some of it dries on the edges. 

Ben carried on playing with Highways hair, calming himself and Callum down. “ you know me opinions on that. “ 

“ I love you. “ 

“ Don’t say that! Don’t say that like this is the last time! “ 

“ You used to be me world. “ 

“ Callum you are goin to survive, you’re gonna go ‘ome to lex bein annoying and me cookin. “ 

“ You need more practice for your next boyfriend. “ 

“ there won’t ever be a next boyfriend. You are my boyfriend and me future husband! “ 

A tear slipped from his eye. “ i wanted us to have years together. “ 

“ and we will! “ 

“ Tell lex she was me baby girl. “ 

“ she already knows! Please just stop talkin! “ 

“ I luv u. “ Callum’s eyes shut. 

“NO! Callum please - wake up!”   
Ben’s voice cracked, it was barley recognisable. “ you ain’t even let me propose to you yet!” He collapses against Callum’s shoulder crying into the skin. “ If you love me - you’ll hold on. “ 

We’re soulmates.


	110. Chapter 110

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #130 - Callum is struggling with dissociation ( due to trauma ). Ben has to help him & reassure him what is going on/happening when Callum is out of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anonny x
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this! It was something about writing 3 overall different characters in frightening situations whilst all being in the same room. If that logically makes sense?  
But also the hardest to write as I wanted it to be spot one. I read about Dissociation on Mind & NHS website ( whilst watching videos ) and even read few fics about the topic. So i really hope I’ve done it justice.

Ben muzzled his nose into the crook of Callum’s neck and sloppily kissed the warm skin.  
“ Sexy you are. “ 

Callum moaned slightly, shifting on the mattress letting his boyfriend attack his neck. “ not as sexy as you babe. “ 

Ben hummed happily but it had a sense of lust added too. The shorter man got up on all fours and carried on assaulting Callum’s mouth, becoming the dominant one making sure Callum knows what he wants. 

“ I want to fuck you so badly. “ Growled Ben, biting the lower lip of Callum’s mouth, forcing his tongue in whilst using his left arm to dig into Callum’s side. 

Callum’s hips lifted from the mattress and wrapped his long limbs around the man’s waist to force him down onto him. 

“ Fuckin’ do it then - you pussy.” 

Ben growled louder, grabbing his boyfriend’s wrists and restricting them on top of Callum’s head, just resting on the headboard. 

“ wanna say that again pretty boy? “ Ben’s voice hard with arousal, his nose 2 inches away from Callum’s whilst their lips nearly formed a heart shape. 

Callum felt himself leaving his own body. Callum was floating and was watching his dad punch him in the face with one fist as the other paralysed his sons arms. No more pain, no more suffering; hearing his father say those exact words Ben used on him. 

Ben stilled from lack of movement. “ Cal? “ 

Callum watched from the corner of the ceiling. How it’s reverted back to Ben and him again in bed. Ben let go off the limbs, watching them collapse heavily beside the body. Yet, Callum didn’t feel it. He didn’t feel the pain. 

“ Callum what’s wrong? “ panicked, Ben was stressing, shaking his boyfriend’s shoulders looking at those glazed over eyes. 

“ I’m sorry. “ He hears. 

Ben felt his forehead crease. “ sorry for what? “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ He heard. 

“ Baby please! Tell me what’s going on! “ 

“ Stop. “ Callum heard. 

Is that the right thing to say? Will Jonno stop? Will he be beaten again by Keanu? Will he still be teased by those army colleagues? 

“ Sorry for WHAT! “ 

Callum saw the body tense.  
“ I’m sorry. “ 

Callum saw the bed moving further away from him, he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand who this man was in the bed. Why is he here watching two strangers? 

Ben was shaking, feeling his heart radiate out of his chest. He cupped Callum’s jaw with both hands trying make him look at Ben again. 

“ Callum look at me. “ 

“ Please Stop. “ The man heard him say. 

“ I’m not doin anything? “ Confused Ben said. He was still straddling him but wasn’t hurting him. 

The man from the ceiling watched on. He saw the man on top look confused and overwhelmed? The man did not understand why he looked scared? The man’s gaze shifts the bottom bloke, who was laying still - some would say he looked dead. The bright blue eyes seemed unfocused. 

“ Callum I’m gunna get you ‘elp okay? “ 

“ Then people would know. “ The man heard from the ceiling. 

“ Know about wot? “ Ben responded, his own skin having hard goosebumps coming up from the cold and anxiety. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

Ben scrambled off his boyfriend and searched for his phone, ringing Jay. “ P-please ‘elp me Jay, C-Callum is acting really weird and I need you to come to the flat now! “ The Mitchell lad threw his phone onto the quilt and quickly put his joggers and a hoodie on. 

The man watched from the top of the room and frowned. It felt weird, he felt weird. Like it wasn’t real, he felt like God. A presence, a spirit, not actually existing. 

“ P-please Babe, just come back to ma. I’m sorry for causing yew this. “ 

The man didn’t feel the heavy atmosphere now. He didn’t feel anything. It was like he was outside the room and looking inwards, observing this shaking man look ready to combust. 

Jay came rushing the flat and let himself in. When he entered the living room he was greeted with a pale faced Ben. 

“ what happened? “ Jay says quickly. 

“ We - we was kissin’ -“ A nanosecond grimace of Jay’s face not wanting the details of the sexual activities. “ - And then I held up his wrists and he just - just spaced out! “ Ben explained, in a frenzy. Jay put his hands on Ben’s shoulders to calm him down or his brother will end up with having a panic attack. 

Wordlessly, Ben brought his non biological brother to his bedroom. Where Callum is frozen, laying on his back with his head facing the window. The eyes of the soul dead like. 

“ ‘ow long he been like this? “ 

“ I - don’t know. 5 minutes? Ten?”

“ ring out of hours and see what they’ll say. “ jay advised, still unsure himself. He has never been in this position before. 

Half an hour later. Jay has gone home. Since the A&E department told Ben they cannot do anything as it is not s medical emergency. Which Ben was about to argue the toss with the understaffed nurse. Till she recommended some tactics to use. 

Ben creept back onto the small double bed and hesitantly touched Callum’s face. The man saw this, watching, seeing that some objects looked larger & scarier than normal. 

“ Baby? Can you ‘ear me? “ Ben loosely cradled his boyfriend’s face, stroking the skin to try to bring some comfort. 

“ I’m sorry. “ the man heard. Why is he keeping saying sorry for? 

Ben took a deep breath. “ Can you name 5 things for me? “ 

The man frowned, he looked around the room and felt tingling in his body. He was moving unstoppable. 

“ I - Err -“ the body mumbled, still not looking at anything in particular. 

The man moved back into the body and felt a shot back into reality. He blinked heavily a few times, absolutely confused and disoriented. 

He looked around the bright room looking around. He couldn’t think. “ I - the curtains?”

“ What colour are they? “ 

“ ....p-pink? “ 

“ well done, what else do you see? “ 

Callum slowly sat up feeling whilst not feeling Ben’s touch on him. It felt like he was still out of his body. 

“ Y-you. “ 

“ who am I? “ 

“ Ben. “ Callum sounded more certain. 

“ 3 more things babe. You’re doin so well. “ 

Callum looked over to the cabinet and saw something else. “ The lamp. It’s cream colour. “ 

“ hmm. “ 

“ And the mirror. It’s short. “ 

“ One more baby. “ Ben tubbed Callum’s thigh. 

Callum loosely picked up the cover. “ This quilt. You brought it. “ 

“ well done - are you back with me now? “ 

Callum nodded. “ y-yeh I am. What happened? “ 

“ You need to tell me that. “ Softy said. 

Callum’s brain sped up, regaining all its memory back.  
“ I left my body. “ 

“ What was the reason? “ 

“ Y-you strained me arms and I had - dad used to do that and Keanu did it too. “ 

Ben cupped his boyfriend’s jaw. “ I’m sorry. “ 

Callum didn’t listen to him.  
“ I didn’t want to feel again. I couldn’t help it. I’m sorry. “ 

“ it is not your fault okay? You couldn’t help it. “ 

“ I didn’t want to feel the pain anymore. I didn’t want to experience it. “ 

“ Babe you could not help it. It’s okay. “ 

Callum was still embarrassed. “ can you hold me? “  
Ben nodded and gently laid them both down with the Mitchell lad having his boyfriend’s body slumped against his side. 

“ Your safe now. “ Ben massaged Callum’s scalp. 

“ It was scary. “ Mumbled Highway, speaking into Ben’s not exposed chest. 

“ It would be. “ 

Callum’s arms wrapped further around Ben’s waist and slowly fell asleep with Ben still protectively holding him. 

-

Morning came twice as fast as the nighttime and it felt like Ben had barely slept. He was terrified that Callum will space out again and neurologically leave again. So, Ben drifted in & out of consciousness waiting for Callum to have one of his episodes again. He didn’t. 

Ben was in the kitchen making himself a strong black coffee at 6am; in defeat and not carrying on staying in bed. Callum was still fast asleep and at least that reminder kept Ben at ease for now. 

“ Why you up so early? “ Questioned Callum, absentmindedly coming out of the bedroom and wrapping his arms around Ben’s smaller waist. 

“ Not tired. “Answered Ben, pushing his leg between Callum’s V ones with the left limb on the outside of Callum’s left leg too. 

Callum frowned. Ben saw the details of the black bags under his nearly distant eyes. “ You seem on edge. Did something happen? “ 

Ben just slid his arms up and down Callum’s long ones before domestically touching delicately Highway’s cheek and the corner of his mouth. 

“ You don’t remember do you? “ Ben sounded sad. 

“ Remember wot? “ Now he was concerned. All that comes to the older man’s memory is them kissing and it all goes blank. 

“ You had a dissociation episode. “ 

“ A what? “ 

“ you spaced out on ma. When we was kissin’ & I restricted your arm capacity you left your body and yew head was somewhere else. “ Explained the Mitchell, laced with worry. Ben decided to leave some parts out not wanting to overwhelm him. “ When i finally brought cha ‘round, you was still drowsy and then you fell asleep on ma. “ 

“ ...I don’t remember? “ 

“ You kept sayin’ Sorry & people will find out. “ 

“ Would talkin’ bout cha past ‘elp? “ 

Callum stiffened. “ I dunno. “ 

“ Apparently it can help you with dealin’ with your past. “ 

Callum shook his head firmly, feeling himself lose again. Ben noticed this too and dug his fingernails into Cal’s skin to ground him. 

“ We could just ‘ave breakfast? Then go back to bed? “ 

Callum smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. “ No more talkin’ bout it? “ referring to his dissociation. 

Ben didn’t agree. He didn’t like pushing what happened away because it scared the life out of him but if Callum doesn’t wanna talk about it. Ben has to reluctantly obey that. 

“ If you don’t want too. “


	111. Chapter 111

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #131 - Stuart relapses ( drugs ) and Callum helps his brother. Ben isn’t too pleased with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so disconnected from my writing and creativity. It bugs me so much when I can imagine the things I want to write. But can never put it into words

Callum came back out of Stuart’s bedroom and immediately locked the door. He knows Ben is staring at him, by the look in his eyes. He’s pissed off. 

“ I can’t believe you are doin’ this. “ 

“ I have to Ben! He’s me brova. “ Callum turns around from the sink looking at his boyfriend. 

“ And it don’t mean you be his punch bag! “ 

Callum groaned, putting the glass down. “ He ain’t in the right frame of mind. “ 

“ he has already ‘urt you Callum. “ Ben stands up and makes his way over to him. 

“ CALLUM OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR YOU ARSEHOLE! “ comes the screeching from the bedroom. 

“ I need to ‘elp him. “ Callum weakly states, nearly crying.  
Ben cups Callum’s jaw. 

“ I know you do baby but it’s been 5 days and you look so ill.” 

“ YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN A THICK PRICK! “ Stuart hysterically kicks the door in, making it rattle against the doorframe. 

Both men glanced at the door, Callum with a negative & conflicted face of emotions. Ben looking like he will bash the door in and tell Stuart in no certain words. He will batter him. 

“ He ‘elped ma when I was struggling, he was there when i was little. I need to owe him back. “ 

Ben rolled his eyes. “ You don’t owe him shit. “ 

“ Ben you don’t understand Alright? Please just... if you can’t stand by me, just go. “ Callum picked up the glass and entered the bedroom, closing the door. Ben sighed heavily practically flying out of his shoes but instead he goes to sit down when he hears his Callum scream out in pain. 

“ Callum?! “ the man rushes into the room and feels the blood drain away from his face. Callum slumped against the wall with blood coming from his nose and eyebrow. Stuart shaking like a leaf on the bed looking sick. 

“ oh my - my god I’m so sorry Callum! “ 

The Mitchell lad crouched down to his boyfriend seething with anger. “ baby you okay? “ 

“ I’m fine. “ Callum winces but as usual he has that small smile on his face trying to hide his pain. 

“ no you ain’t Cal, you’re bleedin’.”

“ Callum I’m -“

“ shut it or you will be fucking sorry. “ Ben hisses at him, turning his gaze back to Callum and helping him up. 

“ Stu it’s okay. “ Callum assured him, too physically tired to process anything. Stuart shoots off the bed and places his shaking hands on his brother’s shoulders. 

“ please just - please carry on ‘elping ma. I need you! “ 

“ he ain’t doin nowt! “ 

“ Ben leave it, it’s okay. “ Callum squeezed Ben’s waist. 

“ no it-“

Callum’s eyes told him. Full of sadness and desperation. Ben let it go. Both of them left Stuart in his bedroom and Ben got out the A&E kit. 

“ He needs professional ‘elp. “ 

“ he needs me. “

“ and I need you. Lexi too. “ 

“ I can’t let Stuart down okay? “ Callum sternly replied. “ need some air. “ he pushes past Ben and leaves the flat. Ben watched him go with his heart feeling heavier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps, THANK YOU to all who read my fics and these chapters, the supporters and how all you lot like/comment and bookmark these. It actually means people like my work and love to reread them! 
> 
> ( don’t want sound vein ) 
> 
> But thank you !!!!


	112. Chapter 112

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #132 - “ Why are you crying?” “ Don’t cry. “ 
> 
> Tw- racist & homophobic slurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the lovely & beauty - Ballumm! 
> 
> ( I decided I won’t be doing a sequel for chapter 131 as there isn’t much to write? I was stuck about that. Sorry! )

14th February. Chris’s death anniversary and Callum was drinking himself into a frenzy somewhere in central London. How could it have been 2 years since his death? Why didn’t Callum tell him sooner? If only Chris knew Callum’s true feelings. If only Callum lost his virginity to a man than with a woman. 

“ Oi do ya remember that black geezer bloke? “ A loud male voice said out in the open, Callum gave him a non significant gaze before going back to his whiskey. 

“ Wot the ‘uck was his name?! ...Chris! From the army!” Callum’s head snapped up and now was watching internally.   
“ Did ya know he was a poof? “ 

“ Always thought there was somethin’ weird bout him. “ The second Male stated with his homophobia. “ I just thought it was ‘cos he was black but gay as well?! Surprised he didn’t do anything. “ 

Callum’s knuckles turned white around the glass. Chris wasn’t nasty, he wasn’t anything but perfect. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and these two tossers are discriminating him from the grave?! 

“ I knew Tom shoulda done something to him. “ The racist sneered. “ Why would the army let that nigga fairy in there? You woulda ‘ought he’d be the enemy. “ they both laughed. “ And that other geezer with the big ears - always gazin’ at him. Both of them poofs. “ 

Adrenaline seeped through his veins, his jaw clicking. He wanted to smash their skulls together. 

“ But you know when Chris died in the car crash? “ “ yeh? “ “ I was the driver. “ 

Callum’s face paled, mouth left open. Chris’s killer is 10 steps away from him. He killed his Chris. 

“ And I let him die. “ The White male smirked, taking the last of his beer and saying his goodbyes and leaving. Callum followed him into the darkness getting a dirty brick and whacking him over the head. He didn’t stop there. He couldn’t stop, he carried on punching the killer in the head with the brick till he became physically drained. 

The brick drops onto the ground with a bang. The man lies dead on the wet floor with blood pouring from his head. Callum hides the body and wipes all his DNA away and walks away like nothing happened. 

Chris has got justice. 

-

The flat sits in silence. No one home and Callum sits on the sofa reading Chris’s letters with a bottle of vodka in his hand. 

“ I’m so sorry Chris. “ Callum whimpered, dropping letter onto the other scattered ones and picking up a photo of his love. “ I’m so sorry you was murdered. You deserved better, you deserved more than me. “ his thumb crossed over ‘Kennedy’s face. “ I love you, I know I do, and I’m so sorry for not saying anything sooner. But I got justice for you. I know you’ll be upset with me but I did it for you, I’ll do anything for you Chris. “ “ please don’t be upset with me. I couldn’t handle it. “ Callum’s voice broke with thickness with a sob coming ahead. 

-

“ I was worried sick about you Callum! “ Ben stormed into the flat causing Callum to jump slightly but he ignored him, not in the mood. “ you just left work & went straight on the lash! “ 

“ free country isn’t it? “ Callum coldly said. 

“ Yeh it is but not when you have a boyfriend and a step daughter to deal with! “ Ben hissed watching his boyfriend walk to the sofa and slump down. 

Ben saw, what looked like hundreds, of letters and photos and was about to pick one up when Callum slapped his hand away. “ leave them! Ain’t none of your business! “ 

“ What’s wrong with you? “ 

“ I am just minding my own business. “ He shrugged, the images of last night on none repeat in his head. 

“ Talk to me cal, I know it was Chris’s anniversary yesterday. “ Ben sat beside him, taking his hand. Of course Ben could see through Callum. 

“ I miss him. “ 

“ And that’s why you drank whole of London? “ a slight mocking to his tone. 

Callum shrugged his shoulders.   
The truth on top of his tongue.   
“ I needed to cope. “ 

“ You have me. “ 

-

You killed a man. You killed a man. You. Killed. A. Man. 

But you did it for Chris. Chris needed justice. You killed a life for a lost one. Ben won’t forgive you. Nobody will. Lexi won’t see you as daddy fluffy no more. Lola & Jay won’t want you around Lexi or Ben. Ben. He won’t love you, he won’t want you in his life. You should’ve died Callum. 

“ Why are you crying? “ 

Callum looked up from sitting on the floor and sniffled trying to pathetically compose himself.   
“ I’m fine. “ 

“ bullshit. Don’t act like I ain’t noticed you actin’ differently. “ 

Callum tensed. “ Dunno wot you mean. “ tell him. 

Ben sat down crossed legged in front of his fragile boyfriend. “ You don’t sleep, eat, barley live. I know your nightmares ‘ave gotten worse. “ ben sternly listed. “ Ever since that night you have become a shadow and I wanna know wot the fuck happened to my Callum. “ 

“ I can’t say. “ Callum cringed away from him, from the guilt.

“ please talk to me. Please Callum. “ Ben pleaded, taking Callum’s hand and holding on like Callum will evaporate. 

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him. 

“ I - I saw Chris’s murderer. “ 

“ That bloke who was bashed over the head with a brick in an ally. That was you weren’t it? “ Ben said in disbelief by the realisation. 

“ I’m so sorry! “ 

“ you killed him. “ Ben’s head was floating. 

“ he - he was talkin shit and he killed my Chris! He left him to die on his own! “ Callum scrambled onto his knees getting Ben’s hands eyes pleading. “ Please don’t hate me Ben! Please! I was drunk and upset. I couldn’t then geezers talk shit about my Chris! “ 

“ I couldn’t ever hate you. “ 

Callum flew into Ben, his head fitting perfectly into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck. “ I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry Ben! “ 

Did Ben even know his boyfriend anymore?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, stay home and protect each other


	113. Chapter 113

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #133 - Ben helps Callum with stomach cramps and he helps him. 
> 
> Tw - Tsunami mention ( I mean literally just that, and it refers to Callum’s massive wave of pain ).   
I put a trigger on as i didn’t want anybody to be triggered and I know that the Tsunami’s are completely life wrecking but I felt it suited the painful cramps Callum is experiencing here. 
> 
> I am sorry if I have offended anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Prompt x

“ Baby, you okay now? “ Ben murmured, holding the hot water bottle to Callum’s stomach and rubbing his lower belly to soothe the pain. 

“ hmm. “ Came the long groan. Callum couldn’t move or the pain would attack him yet again. It has been 15 minutes of them both laying in bed together with Ben spooning his back and helping to relive the IBS pains. The pains haven’t even stopped yet. 

“ Do they usually last this long babe? “ Questioned Ben, he only found out about Callum’s irritable bowl condition 3 months ago but never experienced in helping Callum. 

“ sometimes 60 minutes or 70. “ Winced Callum. “ owowow. “ a massive Tsunami came over him again and tears came to the surface. It feels like somebody is slowly yanking out his intestines whilst squeezing everything out at the same time. 

Ben shifted and wrapped his arm more comfortably under Callum’s arm and deepened the rubs. “ I’d be over soon sweetheart. You ‘ad your pills?” Referring the IBS pain relief tablets. 

“ mmh’yeh. I don’t get why they’re startin’ again - I’ve been careful with me food. “

“ Stress causes it sometimes. “

“ ‘ow did you know? “ Callum shifted his head as he pouted slightly. 

“ I googled it up when you first told me. I wanted more knowledge ‘bout it & how to ‘elp ya if you ‘ave one of your attacks. “ 

“ Th’ought you’d laugh at ma. “ 

Ben frowned offended. “ Why would I laugh at you? “ 

“ Becos it’s embarrassing init. Me rushin to the toilet and I hate having this condition. “ 

“ Ain’t your fault. “ “ and I’ll never laugh you Callum for this, I know it ain’t pleasant but I won’t ever mock you for something uncontrollable. “ 

“ Thank you for looking after me. “ Callum ever so softly complimented him. 

Ben kissed his cheek. “ whenever you get the shits - I’ll be there with the aftermath of comforting you. “ 

Callum huffed a laugh, feeling better with the pain now subsiding. “ Luv you. “ 

“ Luv you too baby. “ Ben pecked him on the shoulder. “ need new hot water bottle? “ 

“ and cup of tea. “ 

Ben grinned. “ coming right up darlin’. “ he tickled Callum’s chin and pressed another smut kiss onto Callum’s nose. 

But of cause Ben can’t be too of a softy without a snarky Ben Mitchell comment. 

“ Thanks for redecorating the toilet babe. “


	114. Chapter 114

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #134 - “ You know I’m not like that”
> 
> Tw - implied human trafficking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got to admit. I didn’t watch Ben in April ‘19. So I dont know the storyline and this may be inaccurate. I will apologise for that!  
But I was angry that Ben was involved in it. 
> 
> -
> 
> It makes me sad that 3 ( of my favourite writers on AO3 amongst others ) have stopped writing.  
Ballumm, Ballum_19 & East02End. How they feel pessimistic about their writing because of readers being uncivil about their technique of writing!

Callum couldn’t get his nut around the concept of Ben, his sweet loving Ben, being involved in human trafficking. When Ben first told Callum ( and it wasn’t easy ) about all the things he has done or been involved in. Human trafficking was the one to really shook Callum. 

When he was about to leave the flat in disbelief and desperately needing to clear his head. Ben all but clung onto his boyfriend not letting him go. 

“ please, please don’t leave Cal! You know I’m not like that! “ 

“ It’s disgusting Ben! Don’t you understand how traumatising that is for those people? To be shipped around like they’re fuckin’ parcels?! “ 

“ I know! “ 

“ And yet you carried on working for it! Like it’s normal business! “ Callum yanked Ben off his arm stropping off to the fridge needing a strong alcoholic drink. Beer will have to do for now. It seems. 

“ Did you find it funny? “ 

Ben’s face fell, offended & hurt.  
“ no! “ 

Callum carried on ranting. Too angry to sound reasonable. “ Did you think it was just a laugh? Bet you looked down on all those vulnerable men & women seeing just price tags on them! “ 

Each word hit Ben in the chest. No bullet wound will ever compare to this, Callum shooting venom like it is sick in his mouth. 

“ It was just business and dad needed the money. I didn’t want to do it Callum! “ defended Ben. He despised working with those men back in April ‘19, knowing fragile people were in those tanks. Yet, if he shown an ounce of weakness. He’d wreck the Mitchell name. 

“ what if it was Lexi? “ Ben’s face tightened. 

“ Don’t bring her into this. “ 

“ what if Lexi was one of those women? Away from family, sitting with complete strangers and only seen as ‘ business ‘. How can you sleep at night? “ 

“ I didn’t let myself think. “ Ben finally said after the agonising silence. He slumped down onto the kitchen chair and rubbed his face with his hand. Paul’s ring making a shirk reminder that he would be disappointed in him. Just like Callum is. 

“ I drank & drank & slept with more blokes to numb the guilt I was havin’. “ Callum too sat down opposite him, taking his hand and stroking over the skin. 

“ i know you ain’t that cold blooded. “ Confessed Callum, not looking at him or he’ll clam up. “ I just hate human trafficking and it makes me livid.” 

“ you don’t hate me do you? “ Ben directed at Callum in a child like voice. He couldn’t hold the tears at bay and let them fall down his cheeks. 

“ no course I don’t. “ Callum sincerely admitted, cupping Ben’s jaw and casted a kiss to the man’s lips. “ sorry for beingin’ Lexi into it. It was wrong of me. “ 

Ben half hummed. “ I get wot you was tryin’ to say but all them were adults. That don’t make it right but no kids were involved. “ 

The older man of 5 years, looked like he was about to argue but obtained it. “ There ain’t anything else you’re keepin’ from me is there? “ fear. 

“ No. I promise you, there ain’t nothin else. “ 

Callum nodded his head still looking unconvinced. “ Were they hurt? “ 

“.... I don’t know...” 

It felt like a knife to Callum’s skin. “ I need go for a run. “ 

“ You will come back to me. “ Ben pleaded. 

“ I’ll be anywhere, you are. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe. Stay home.


	115. Chapter 115

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #135 - “ I’m scared Ben “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha this is shite

Callum looked so small on the hospital bed with wires coming out of his nose and a heart monitor attached to his chest. The steady, abnormal beat making it a ill fitting reminder that his Callum will be having heart surgery in few hours. 

“ I’m scared Ben “   
In a nanosecond ben went from the hospital chair to the edge of the bed and clutched their hands together. He also cupped he boyfriend’s jaw with his left hand. 

“ You’ll be okay. You’ll wake up and we can start recovery. “ 

Callum weakly shook his head breathing heavily trying to calm his damaged heart. You have to stay calm or you’ll have another heart attack. 

“ I can’t do it. “ 

“ what? “ 

“ I can’t do it Ben! I can’t ‘ave surgery. “ 

Ben scooted closer to the man frowning in worry & panic. “ you need this operation Callum! It’d save your life! “ 

“ But i can also die Ben! I may never be the same again! I’m fragile. “ Callum whispered the last word. If Ben wasn’t so close he would have to strain to hear it. 

“ You know this condition needs fixing, It’d only get worse if you leave it. “ Ben gently told him, nearly like a script being reread a thousand times. 

Callum wiped away a tear from his eye. “ I hate ‘ow I’ve got this from dad. “ 

“ At least you ain’t got his baldness. “ joked Ben, even to his own ears. It sounded weak but it brought a small smile to Callum’s lips. 

“ You won’t leave me would you?” 

“ Don’t be stupid. “ 

-

After hours of waiting. Callum pulled through. Ben cried. Stuart sighed in relief and even teared up. Now after few days in hospital. Callum can come home. 

“ I’m glad you’re safe. “ Ben whispered on Callum’s neck.   
Callum hummed tiredly, stroking his boyfriend’s arm and weakly kissing his forehead. 

“ We can ‘ave lifetime together now. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People can decide on what heart problem Callum has inherited from Jonno. 
> 
> Stay safe and thank you all for the support


	116. Chapter 116

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #136 - Ben looking after a badly hungover Callum after a night out 
> 
> Tw - Emetophobia suffers may be triggered by mentions of sickness/being sick ( and sorry if this warning triggers ppl too )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to BB for the prompt :)

Ben looking after a badly hungover Callum after a night out 

Callum is a big hypocrite. Ben is seething from smugness and bitterness from all the times his boyfriend told him off for being mega hammered. But Callum comes in at half 6 in the morning and is completely sloshed. 

Callum’s hair is chaos. Ben is pretty sure there is bit of a lettuce leaf amongst the rubble of dark locks. If Callum looks peaceful when he sleeps he sure hell looks like he is dead today. 

Heaving sounds fill the room and Ben is at Callum’s side in a flash, helping the unconscious man be sick into the bucket than choking to death. Ben wants to kill his boyfriend himself for managing to get into this state. Is Callum trying his best to ruin his liver? 

Snores later fill the room and ben controls himself from not putting the pillow over Callum’s face. 

-

“ ughh Ben...” moans Callum, from the middle of the double bed. The quilt messily wrapped around his body as his eyes did not want to co-operate with his brain. 

“ Ah! He lives to tell the tale then it seems. “ Came the reply somewhere from the bedroom. 

“ mmmmm. “ Callum moaned out again, unfortunately, it wasn’t the pleasurable one. 

“ You done this to ya self cal. Gotta live with the consequences. “ 

“ will you just shut up? “ Callum snapped weakly. 

Ben laughed. “ There’s some water & paracetamol on the night stand. ‘Ave that & you’ll be fine. “ 

“ I can’t move. “ Ben sighed heavily walking to his broken boyfriend and helping him up. 

“ Maybe I should’ve put on me nurses outfit on. “ Ben said in a innuendo comment, smirking more when Callum glared at him. After the fluids & 2 pills went down his throat. Ben somehow had Callum on his chest and limbs trapping the shorter man from escaping the bed. 

“ I love you. “ Callum said against Ben’s chest. 

“ I love you too. Even when you come in bladdered. “ He carries on stroking Callum’s locks with his fingers, frowns when his fingers get caught up in a knot of chip bits, ketchup & more lettuce? 

“ I’m never drinking again. “ 

“ But I love drunk Callum Highway! “ 

“ Well Callum Highway don’t like drunk Callum Highway. “ 

Ben pouts. “ I’ll never experience you walking into walls anymore then? “ 

“ Not when I’m intoxicated, no. “ 

Callum feels a rubble of laugher inside Ben. His presence making him slightly better. “ I think I’m bankrupt. “ 

“ a few dodgy deals will solve that problem. “ 

“ Ben -“ 

“ I’m joking! “ 

“ Criminal master minds in your DNA. “ 

“ So I’m a criminal master mind ay? “ Ben vainly repeats. Of course his ego is going to speak for him. “ Ben ‘ Criminal Master Mind ‘ Mitchell. Quite like that. “ 

“ You forgot the Highway at the end. “ “ you forgot about me. “ 

“ I could never forget about yew.” A press to Callum’s temple. “ You’d be me Master mind partner wouldn’t ya? “ 

Callum weakly laughs before gagging and being sick in the bucket over Ben. Who grimaces, his face turning pale because- gross. 

“ I think I’m gunna double think on me becoming Mr Highway. “  
Callum collapses back down on Ben who hesitantly rolls his boyfriend’s sick face off his t-shirt. 

“ Go to sleep babe. “ Ben soothes. 

“ Mmm. “ Callum practically went unconscious the minute his head hit the pillow. Ben took in few seconds of his boyfriend; a small smile creeping on his lips. He tucked him in & pressed a kiss to his upper cheek. 

“ Night mister Mr Mitchell- Highway. “


	117. Chapter 117

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #137 - Callum defends Ben from a bully in The Queen Vic 
> 
> Tw - Violence, homophobic slurs 
> 
> I may do a part 2 of this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy reading & stay safe x

Callum & Ben walked into The Queen Victoria and Callum told Ben to find a discreet booth for them. Ben did as he was told. Still anxious after having the cochlear implant operation and felt awfully vulnerable. 

“ what can I get ya boy? “ Mick asked his Halfway, leaving his leaning his arm against the dark wooden bar. 

“ one large larger & one medium plz Mick. “ Came the order. 

“ Oh ‘ard day? “ 

Callum made the ‘ nahh ‘ face yet no sound came from his larynx. “ Just tired that all. “ 

Mick shortly nodded frowning very slightly then glanced his head to Callum’s boyfriend. “ ‘Ows Ben? “ 

A sad mist flew over Callum’s face. “ Quiet. Since havin’ the operation he’s scared of doin’ anythin’ that cold affect his hearin’. “ 

“ Surely the docs ‘ave assured him tho? “ Mick said in disbelief whilst putting down the medium sized larger down. 

Highway shrugged, showing his fed up body language. “ They just said he needs wait. “ 

“ If Ben needs talk to someone who ain’t close close - you know where I am. “ Callum smiled without showing his teeth. 

“ Thanks Mick. “ Callum clasped the bartenders shoulder and they had an unspoken bond between them. Thank you for caring about me & my boyfriend when you don’t have too. 

Callum put down the moist glasses and delicately shook Ben’s arm to get his attention. 

< are you okay? > Callum signed. 

“ fine. “ Ben’s voice was sad. 

“ You are lying to ma. “ Callum spoke clearly to him, either man not noticing a hunky geezer enter the pub. 

Ben then drove his gaze from his fingers to Callum. The usual cheekiness and electric strike now disappeared. “ I want to hear again cal. “ 

Callum cupped Ben’s jaw and gave him a small stroke with his thumb. “ You will babe. “ 

“ Handicapped. “ The man loudly said, above the average inside tone.   
The pub fell into silence and Callum felt himself getting railed up. Ben left confused feeling the tension in the room. 

“ what did you just say? “ Callum made his way to get up ignoring Ben latching onto his wrist and saying “ don’t go -“

The chubby man stood tall with his 3rd chin defining even more. “ I said handicapped. Thought Mitchell’s meant to be men? “ 

“ Lad get -“ Mick cut in sharply only Callum got in there first. 

“ He is a real man. He ain’t some bully like yew! “ He pushed the 6’2 bloke who stumbled back. 

Ben practically leaped to his boyfriend’s defence, heart racing. “ cal just leave it. “ he urged, hopes he isn’t saying it too loudly. 

“ aww listen to your fairy -“ 

Fairy. Always been a fairly aint you Callum? Jonnos words slit through his brain. 

Mick ran round the short cut of the bar to get in between his son & the man who’s on the floor with his nose running of blood. 

“ Looks like the pussy has a spine then! “ Barks out the discrimination like it is perfectly acceptable. 

Fairly.   
Pussy.   
Weak. 

“ Callum please leave it! “ Ben weakly dragged him back. Callum was too strong for him; lunging down straddling the overweight man and punching 6 bells into his face. 

“ Shut the fuck up!! “ Callum wasn’t Callum anymore. Memories. Experienced. Trauma. Taking over and Callum is fighting all of them at once. 

“ oh my god -“ Honey looked ill reckon from the sight. 

“ oi ou ! Go on son! “ A males voice, non local. 

“ C-Callum! “ Ben desperately clung his finger nails into Callum’s biceps to pull him back. It was like pulling a rock from a cliff. 

“ Not the confident man now are ya?! “ Callum didn’t know if he was talking to the beaten or the flashbacks. 

“ get up “ Mick more so grumbled to himself yanking his son off the unconscious man. 

“ Halfway, What did you do? “ Linda stood at the main entrance of her pub shocked. Like everyone else. 

And that is when Callum’s eyes focused again. When he went back into reality. You could see Callum ‘ come back to Earth’. 

Everyone staring at him like a monster, nearly scared of him. Ben looked disappointed and shocked. Mick looked more than livid. Callum panting. 

Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. 

Callum bolted out of the building. Ben & Mick following as Linda rang an ambulance. 

It was like Callum was on autopilot, all his senses on high alert. The air gushing through him as he just went wherever his feet took him. 

Callum’s sanity wasn’t stable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Callum is OOC in this. But, I remember that he said in ‘18 to Tina. That he is more like his dad. We know Jonno is nasty piece of work. We have also seen Callum punch Leo and, unfortunately, Ben :(   
I wanted to explore callum’s aggressive side and imply it with his PTSD. I know I’m not very good at writing the flashbacks with the present. but I am trying to work on that, also the direction of character being included too. So not just 1/2 characters are centre stage. 
> 
> I wanted Ben vulnerable. I know he won’t 100% show it around others in public. I just wanted him without the hard man act


	118. Chapter 118

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #138 - the sequel of chapter 137

Callum collapsed into half moist dry mud; his feet stinging from the pressure and friction. 

You need get up! Halfway! You’ve always been weak. He’s dead. Queer. BANG! BANG! BANG! BEN! 

Callum’s breathing hitched. It is like a recording stuck on speed and the more you try to stop it, the more it plays and you get frustrated by the second. 

Chris. Ben. Jonno. Stuart. Army. Police. Ben. School. Mum. Soldiers. 

“ P-please Stop - Stop - I cant - can’t - “ Black dots form in front of his eyes as he collapses into the mud from hyperventilation. 

-

“ How could he be so clueless! “ Mick angrily commented, pacing around in circles in Callum’s flat. After 90 minutes of searching for him. 

“ We should call the police -“ Linda started off and cut off by Stuart. 

“ And my brova going straight to prison? No chance. “ 

“ L, he’s right. They’ll sling their huck on ‘im.“ Mick piped in, finally stopping his pacing and stood by the window of the living room. 

“ No police okay! We sort this out together. “ Ben snapped, turning around after hearing a very muffled “ police.” 

“ and what’s your grand plan Ben!! Hmm! “ Linda snarled at him. Ben could see in her eyes that she blamed him. 

“ You’re talkin’ too fast for him. “ Mick told his wife, his tone wasn’t the comforting one.  
The 43 year old took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. 

“ But I just don’t get why he acted that way? He’s never been the violent type. “ Linda was confused, ignoring how insensitive she was. 

“ he’s always been more like dad Linda. “ Start started off. Ben couldn’t grasp what he was saying. 

“ Callum has been struggling. “ Ben said, feeling left out, hoping what he said isn’t too out of the blue. 

Linda whipped her body to Ben who was standing by the sink.  
“ yeh no wonder since being wit you. He ain’t my Halfway no more! “ 

“ L! “ Her husband hissed at her. 

“ This is my fault? “ it was more a question than anything. Mick took pity on him and squeezed his shoulder gently. 

“ Course not son. He obviously has some problems. “ 

Silence. 

“ I’m going try ringing him again. “ Linda excused herself, leaving the room icy cold. 

-

Callum slowly woke up. When his blurry vision focused he saw his knuckles ripped to shreds and red liquid coming from the skin cells. Then something black or dark brown was on his palms & inside his fingernails. No train of thought was present in his mind. 

He slowly sat up in a disorientated state. How did he get here? It’s dark now. Everyone must be so worr- Ben!  
Callum rushed to get up only for his blood pressure levels to shoot down. Ben must be beyond stressed about him. 

Callum gets his numb fingers to work and gets his phone out from his pocket. Please don’t die on me. Please have charge. 

All he saw was a blank screen reflecting his ill face. He starts walking again trying to find home, feeling empty like the woodlands around him. Quiet. Dark. Cold. It brings a beautiful God like sense to him. It is like a comparison to death in a way - you don’t feel scared. You know what is to come. 

-

When Ben is alone in the flat; it is cold, no spiritual activity. But when Callum is there. There is a positive, comfortable - happy vibe. Which brings an emotional side to Ben. Love. Euphoric. 

A white noise is the only thing Ben can hear as he sits on the sofa like a little boy waiting for his parents to come back. The moon shines on his face, cheeks red, blotchy and tear stained.  
Why isn’t Callum coming home?

This is worse than Keanu taking Callum some how, at least Callum was with someone. Ben checks the time what seems the trillionth time. 

No new messages. 

-

Callum enters the unlighted flat and creeps in completely debilitated and hurt. He sees Ben’s hunched up back with his hands cradled together slightly rocking backwards and forwards. 

Ben sees the movement in the corner of his eyes and jumps unexpectedly. “ Callum! Oh my god -“ he stutters out, relieves, thankful, grateful. “ Don’t ever do that to me again. “ Ben whimpers into Callum’s neck, arms completely indulging Callum’s waist. 

The older man pulls away 5 inches. “ I’m sorry. “ 

“ You left me. You - beat up that man and you never came back! I was so scared. “ long fingers slide around the lower skull of Ben’s head as Callum’s right hand cups the scruffy jaw. 

Ben despise being unfortified. 

“ I wasn’t thinking. “ Callum doesn’t notice that they have moved to the sofa. 

Ben doesn’t catch what his companion said. “ You need to sort out your PTSD cal! You weren’t even in the room when you was beating that geezer up.” 

“ He was bein’ a prick! He was mockin’ ya! “ 

“ You should’ve left it. “ The Mitchell said, in a quieter tone. 

Callum wiped away a tear from his own blue eye. “ I hate that he was discriminating you & you was none the wiser. “ 

“ Don’t mean you rearrange his face babe. “ 

“ I’m sorry! “ Callum cried out, realisation hating him like a ton of bricks. Ben tucked his boyfriend into his chest as they leant back on the settee. 

“ Me dad’s gunna sort out the bloke. You ain’t goin to prison. “ Ben told him, in denial. 

“ I - i saw so many hallucinations. I couldn’t - I couldn’t control me self “ Callum yelp out. 

Absentmindedly stroking Callum’s hair calming him down, feeling the fast movements of Callum’s breath on his neck. 

They’ll get through this. 

-

Tense is the word to describe the current moment. Callum slumped on the closed toilet seat as Ben runs the bath. There isn’t anything to say, both of them exhausted emotionally and physically fatigued.  
When the bath has filled up. Ben silently requests to undress Callum and gently takes off his lovers clothes. It feels sad, defeated, scared of the future. How you desperately want to turn back time. 

Ben squeezes the soap from the old fashioned yellow sponge, wiping Callum’s hunched over back. Spine visible. “ You’ll get a sore back if you sit like that babe. “ Ben quietly tells him, feels like Kathy. 

“ We’ll ‘elp you Cal. You ain’t alone okay? “ Ben doesn’t like the distant presence in Callum’s blue eyes, a blank expression as he stares at the ceiling. “ I don’t fully understand wot you’re goin’ through but I do know how it feels to ‘ave everything ripped away from ya. You feel worthless, a empty page that needs to be filled. I ain’t gunna let you be ripped away from me Cal, we need finish this last chapter so we can start a new page. “ 

Crystal water pecks fall from Callum’s eyes. “ I don’t want to go to prison. “ terrified, afraid, scared. 

Ben turns Callum’s jaw to him and presses an emotional kiss to his soulmate’s lips. “ You are not leaving me. “ 

-

You are just like ya dad aren’t you? A violent bastard. No wonder your mum left you, she didn’t want a son like Jonno, something to be remembered of. To be ashamed. Callum this is why you are alone. You are a facade. Unnoticeable. Only needed when people are in desperate situations.  
Everything you touch. It dies, resents you or shows how you’re not a real man. Even your mental health hates you Callum, your own mind can’t stand you.  
That’s why you’re going crazy. Loopy. Unhinged. 

You don’t deserve to be fit & healthy. 

Callum holds the picture frame of himself & Ben pretending to munch on Callum’s ear. They look so happy. So in love. It’s a shame Callum has wrecked everything. 

“ Baby don’t cry. “ 

Callum looks up and his cheeks turn Rosie pink from being caught out. “ I’m a disappointment Ben. “ 

Ben tuts, cradles his boyfriend into his side. “ You are anything but. You are my Callum highway, I just see you. “ 

Callum shakes his head. “ I’m going to prison. There’s witnesses that seen me ‘urt him. “ 

“ you are not going to prison Callum. “ Ben sounds annoyed and slightly delude.  
Before they can continue their conversation. Callum gets up to answer the door with Ben following suit. 

Dread. Is it the cops? Is this the last goodbye??

“ Come up. “ 

Ben looks like he is about to rugby tackle Callum to the floor for inviting whoever in. “ why -“

“ it’s mick. “ 

Mick storms into the flat with face like thunder. “ Are you completely stupid! Do you know how fucking worried I ‘ave been about you? I thought you was gunna do something stupid like Lee! “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ those words are sorting to have no meaning to them now. 

Mick ignored him and instead bear hugged Callum. “ I love you son. “ he then pulled away. “ but we can’t erase wot happened. “ 

Ben cleared his throat. “ phil said he’s sortin it. “ 

“ and ‘ow do you know he’s gunna do it right?” 

Ben frowns slightly, not able to lip read Mick’s pronunciation. He guesses instead. “ He knows him. The bloke will be kept quiet. “ 

Mick doesn’t look pleased by the circumstances that Callum is now included with Phil’s mess and the fear of a prison sentence looming over their heads.  
“ Cal, you should ‘Ave talked to me.” 

“ I’m barley able to form thoughts of me own mick without having episodes. “ 

Mick knows how that feels with his anxiety. “ I need go, I told L ill only be 5 mins but Callum -“ he places his hand on the Highways shoulder. “ I am ‘ere for you” Callum weakly smiled at him before being separated and Ben & Callum we’re left on their own.  
Ben wordlessly hugged Callum needing the affection, knowing he is being clingy but he needs the warmth of Callum. 

“ Please Don’t ever leave me. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if part 2 wasn’t as *good* as part 1.


	119. Chapter 119

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #139 - Callum struggles with his body image and weight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anonny x
> 
> Ppl are free to send prompts if they want too :))

Callum’s metabolism has always been a bit - loopy. Up & down like a flippin’ yo-yo, ever since his teenage years. He has been on the borderline chubby side, then he lost it and was under weight, then he was normal weight. Do you get the patten? 

He is re-experiencing being bit on the heavy side again. He isn’t even fat, not by a mile off. He is just - gained few pounds okay?! 

When he looks in the bedroom mirror at his body. He sighs heavily. All the natural soft bits of his body that Ben adores like the buttocks, thighs and the love handles. Ben always clings onto during sex or snogging sessions have just - expanded. 

“ Ooop - weren’t expecting you to be naked & staring at yourself. “ Ben’s iconic voice scares the shit outta Callum making him jump and fling the cosy grey gown on. 

“ thought you was at work? “ Callum divulges the topic about him. He would rather talk about butterflies than his embarrassing body. 

Ben strides over to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around the man’s waist with his own right leg pushing in between Callum’s thighs. 

“ Yeh I was and now I’m not. That a problem Mr Highway? “ 

“ N-no course not. “ 

Ben squints his eyes at him.   
“ you’re acting odd. More than usual. “

Callum barks out an offended chuckle. “ Th-thanks? “ 

“ Why are you naked and looking at yourself? I’m usually the vein one in his relationship. “ 

I’m I fat? “ Just havin’ a moment. “ 

“ a cheeky wank you mean? “ 

“ A moment. “ Callum repeats his earlier reply, with a bored grin on his face. 

Ben carries on his teasing. “ You was gettin’ frisky without ma! Should I be jealous? “ 

Callum’s Adam Apple bobbles and he slowly pushes Ben into the mirror as he leans his body against Ben’s. How can Ben stand the sight of him? 

All the pent up insecurities make his testosterone hormones rocket up. Sex is a release, a time to forget.   
Callum slides his right hand into Ben’s Calvin Klein boxers. “ You’ve always been jealous of me hands anyway. My long fingers wrapped around your hard cock yanking your beautiful leaking dick. As you scream my name for release. “ 

“ Fuckin’ ‘ell. “ The shorter man curves his head back making his hips push forward into Callum’s hand. It is an advantage. 

“ is this what you wanted me to do?” Highway squeezes the mushroom head then strokes the opening slit with his thumb.   
“ You look too beautiful. “ 

“ Cal-“ Moans out his boyfriend’s name. 

Callum pushes forward and assaults Ben’s lips with a lustful kiss. “ You’re gunna see stars.” All traces of body image issues abort from his brain. 

-

The next few weeks Callum had been going to the gym intensely for hours on end trying desperately to lose some of his pudge. He loosened his socialism too, not going out for meals and drinks with Jay, Lola, Ben, Lexi or just the once a fortnight dates with his boyfriend. Callum couldn’t let himself get any fatter. He couldn’t let himself be that 14 year old again who got bullied and was slightly overweight. He’ll lose Ben. He won’t find Callum attractive anymore. 

Day 20, twenty days of running & boxing and there is barely a difference; to what he looked like before. Is he really that chubby? 

“ We need to talk Callum. “ 

Callum jumped back 4 inches. Ben was outside their locked bedroom door and didn’t sound pleased at all. 

“ Er what about babe? “ Callum tried to sound casual. He tried to sound like his heart wasn’t radiating from the right & left side. 

“ Don’t play stupid with me. “ Ben’s voice hardened. Callum gulped, putting Ben’s baggiest hoodie back on and Adidas tracksuit bottoms. He left the comfort of their room. 

Ben was standing by the kitchen table arms crossed and an unreadable expression on his face. Callum didn’t miss the glint in his bright baby blue eyes of seeing Callum in his hoodie. 

“ Are you cheating on me? “ 

Callum was speechless. “ Wha-What? “ 

Ben scoffed, smiling but the opposite of happy. “ Are you cheating on me Callum?! “ 

“ no! “ 

That didn’t relax Ben for a second. “ then why are you always sneaking about going out places for hours on end? Why don’t you ever want spend time with ma or our family? “ ranted Ben, slapping his arms around. 

Why couldn’t you do one harmless thing Callum? Even going to the gym is causing you to be a failure, never mind the tragic weight loss you’re failing to achieve. 

“ Speak Callum! You are a shit lier as it is. Tell me wot you been doin’! “ 

Callum mentally jumped out of his trance of thoughts. He can’t tell Ben. It isn’t the right time. He feels too uncomfortable to tell his attractive boyfriend that he has become a blobby. 

“ It’s nothing. “ 

“ Bullshit. “ 

“ There ain’t nowt to worry ya bout. “ 

Ben rubbed his forehead with two fingers getting a headache feeling like he is attempting to try to get blood from a rock.   
Ben took Callum’s hand and lead them both to the sofa. Over the years of knowing Callum. Ben has discovered when a moment is red. Callum clams up and shuts down all communications, Ben guesses it is something to do with his childhood. 

The younger man strokes Callum’s hand with his thumb.   
“ You ‘ave been quiet as of late. Distant. Always going to the gym and coming back exhausted, sleeping in late barley doin’ any work. “ Ben lists off. “ I thought you was depressed at the start then jay said it could be anxiety or something “ Ben wasn’t going to say his brother thought Callum was cheating. He would never do that in a million years. Again. 

Callum looked down at his lap and felt his chest contrast with the guilt. “ I’m sorry. “ he looked up and seeing Ben’s face he felt such a pillock. “ No! I ain’t cheated on ya! “ Callum was quick to deny all Ben’s insecurities, shuffling closer to him and cupping his chin. “ I love you - I only ever want you. And Tom Hardy. “ Ben chuckled loudly at the joke. 

“ it’s me not you. “ Callum starts, tone flat. “ I’ve been worrying about me weight. “ 

Ben frowns. “ there’s nothing wrong with you. “ 

Callum took a deep intake and released heavily. “ Me weight has always been up and down since I was 13. It’s gone back up again. “ 

“ Cal, you ain’t fat or chubby. “ 

“ I’ve gained weight though. “ 

“ You’re acting as if it is 2 stone! Everyone gains bit of weight. I’ve certainly ‘ave. “ Callum is quick to speak and Ben gets in there first. “ babe, both of us ‘ave changed, but I don’t get why you are so worried? “ 

“ I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want to be chubby again. I’ll be all alone, no mates, no family - just a fat bloke eating his feelings away. “ 

“ ....Bit dramatic. “   
Callum huffed, irritated, getting up from the sofa. “ doesn’t matter. “ he muttered moodily. Ben chased after him into the bedroom. 

“ Babe I weren’t laughing at ya.” 

“ yeh you were Ben! “ snapped Callum. “ I’m having a struggle with my body image and you are mocking me! “ 

“ I wasn’t! “ 

Callum collapsed down onto the bed. “ I used to be chubby when I was younger and then really skinny. I just don’t want to change again cos I’ve got a fit boyfriend who’d leave me. “ 

Ben sat next to him, their thighs touching. “ I won’t ever leave you. Anyway, when things are hot they expand don’t they? “ 

Callum slowly looked at him.   
“ I’m takin’ a slight offence to that. “ Ben rolled his eyes, pecking his lips onto Callum’s. The innocent kiss slowly progressed into Ben and Callum taking their clothes off and rolling around in bed. 

“ I’m gunna show you how much I fancy ya. “ Ben trailed his lips down Callum’s chest. 

“ do it then. “ Callum moaned when Ben licked his sensitive nipples. 

“ Patience. This is all about you beautiful. “ 

-

Late at night when Ben is sleeping on Callum’s chest and arms wrapped around his waist and one laying on his stomach. Callum was stupid to worry about his weight and Ben leaving him. He wouldn’t ever break up with Callum.   
Ben snuggled further around his boyfriend and moaned slightly, his lips faintly smiling. Callum kisses his forehead and sticks with the present of being in love, being excited about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh I did struggle with this. I didn’t know what exactly to write? I did think should Callum have an overactive thyroid ( where you gain weight quicker - or is that underactive thyroid?) but then I was like - would that fit though? Just because you gain weight faster doesn’t necessary mean your thyroid is the problem. I think ppl can tell by these notes that I’m not completely sure about Callum’s weight situation. The 2nd thing I was thinking about is his metabolism is always going slower or faster. 
> 
> I am sorry this chapter is unclear and bit confusing. I hope it isn’t *that bad *


	120. Chapter 120

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #140 - Inspired by tonight’s episode ( 11/5/20). Ben straddles Callum’s lap when he is kissing, licking and sucking his neck. 
> 
> TW - contains smut & dirty talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the lovely & talented - TotallyRadioactive15 x

“ Closer? CLOSER? “ Ben smirked, taking his body close to his boyfriend’s tall structure and wrapping his short arms around the man’s waist. “ What time does it start? “ he began kissing Callum’s neck small little pecks going up to the inside of the ear. 

“ Stop! “ Callum didn’t want it to stop. 

Ben sucked lovingly at the pale skin whilst pushing his right leg around Callum’s hip. “ so. fucking. hot. “ the word was growled out with his sentence being slurred with his lips licking down Callum’s throat. 

“ Don’t start something you can’t finish. “ 

“ mmmh? “

Callum quickly brought both of Ben’s legs around his waist and held the decent arse in his hands. “ Don’t start something you cannot finish. “ 

Ben stroked the back of Callum’s head and naturally ( maybe purposely) pushing his crotch into the stomach making him be physically closer to Callum. 

“ And What? You gunna arrest me officer? “ Ben pretended to act innocent, seducing him by unhooking the dark brown belt and scratching his teeth along Callum’s scruffy jaw. 

Wordlessly, Callum carried his love to the living room and sat down on the sofa. Ben was optionally straddling him now, pushing his weight and assaulting Callum mouth. 

“ Fuck I wish I can ‘ear you moan. “ 

Ben bit Callum’s bottom lip forcing his tongue in between Callum’s mouth snogging him. Their lips scrunched up together, hands touching all body parts. 

“ I need you. “ Callum whined, touching his hard cock. Ben swotted it away and played with the heavy balls. 

“ You ain’t gettin’ off so easy mister. “ Ben made a large hickie at the collarbone. He slid down Callum’s body and yanked the dark blue jeans to Callum’s ankles. Lust. Is the word to describe Ben’s eyes. 

“ ‘ow did I get a bloke who is this perfect? “ Ben murmured, mainly to himself, nuzzling his nose in the inside of Callum’s thick thighs. “ I luv these - big and squishy made for my hands to grab on too. “ 

Callum couldn’t speak, closing his eyes and letting Ben touch him in the most intimate place. He loves Ben talking about his body, his most insecure parts. 

Callum scrunches a handful of Ben’s hair. “ ‘urry up. “ he moaned out, absentmindedly. 

The other man licked the whole 7 inch trail of the hard cock, smelling the scent making his body jolt. “ You smell delicious. “  
“ oi don’t laugh at me! “ Ben half screeched with his voice deep. Callum grinned moving forward and wetly kissing him.   
Ben was the first to pull away needing oxygen back in his lungs, the swollen mushroom head slotted into Ben’s mouth beautifully, looking up seeing Callum’s mouth making a ‘ O’ shape was a sight he never wanted to forget.   
Sucking slowly at the tip having pre-cum escape he bit gently and then took all of him in. 

“ Always underestimated your mouth capacity ain’t ya? “ Callum dirtily told him off, when Ben gagged a bit. “ Can’t even take my big cock in your mouth without choking. “ if Callum clearly mocking him didn’t make his dick expand - he’s lying. 

“ Come on big boy - can’t even be a proper gay if you can’t do the job right. “ 

Ben’s eyes hardened, going further into his boyfriend’s dick and sucking him with his hands squeezing the balls and tickling underneath. 

“ OOhh Ben -I’m gunna come -“  
Callum’s body tensed and with some swifts and pulls. Ben was swallowing the white waves of cum. The Highway lad scratched his fingers back on Ben’s scalp pulling away when his orgasm finished. 

“ good boy. “ Callum smirked, wiping the white liquid form the side of Ben’s mouth and making Ben suck his thumb. “ always been a greedy boy ain’t ya. “ 

Ben didn’t have a clue what he was saying but sensing it was smut talk. “ Only for you. “ 

Callum pressed his lips on Ben’s moist ones and kissed him softly. “ You are beautiful. “ 

Ben felt his eyes dilate with vulnerability, those words hitting him right in the heart. Nobody has ever said that to him & they mean the world to him now with his profound disability. 

“ you dirty little slut ain’t you? “ Callum said out of the blue, pressing his hand on the wet patch of Ben’s crotch. “ Didn’t even realise you let yourself go did you? “ 

Ben gulped, Ben Mitchell speechless was a rare occasion. “ What you gunna do to me officer? “ he remarked, confidently if his voice didn’t sound so wrecked. 

Callum cocked his head to the side and moved Ben onto the sofa, laying between his opened legs. “ Messy Little whore. “ it was agonisingly slow removing Ben’s jeans and boxers off his cock. The material aggravating the sensitive organ. 

Callum’s eyes widened at the sight. Ben’s cock covered in wet come half it drying. The smell. The smell was - magnificent.   
“ Only you can make me hard in seconds again. “ 

“ Callum -“ Whimpered Ben, closing his legs around Callum’s waist trapping him. “ Fuck me. “   
Long fingers played with the cum and twirling the half solid liquid on Ben’s cock. 

Callum cupped Ben’s jaw and made him look directly at him.  
“ Only good boys get to be fucked. “ 

Ben whined. “ I ‘ave been good.” 

“Not enough baby. “ with two fingers Callum held decent amount of cum and brought it to Ben’s lips making him swallow it. 

“ disgusting. “ 

“ Please - please fuck me i need you -“ 

Callum looked at his watch. 5 minutes till he was meant to leave. Callum smirked. He was in control, the dominant one. Ben was at his mercy, a wriggling worm aching to be shagged. 

Callum wrapped 4 fingers around the base of Ben’s cock and moved it like a gear stick. Watching it come alive. Ben moaned loud. He didn’t know and Callum had a second of pity for him. He was glad it is only them in the house. 

“ Such a whore ain’t you Mitchell? What would your dad say? “ Callum dominantly sucked the slit. “ Being a slut for cock. “ Ben moaned again, pushing his hips up and groaned when Callum pushed them back down looking at him.   
Their eyes dark. 

“ I need to go. “ 

Ben’s mouth opened like a fish. “ you can’t leave me like this! “ 

As Callum was still playing with Ben’s expanded dick. He continued to speak. “ I’m gunna be late. “ 

Ben shuffled down the settee wrapping his long, hunky legs around Callum’s neck, Callum had no where to look but that gorgeous leaking cock.   
If Ben was going play that card. Callum can set the rules.   
Firstly, Callum stuck his tongue underneath the start of the cock and blew into Ben’s stretched hole making him jump at the sudden gust. 

“ Pussy. “ Callum muttered without any malicious intent. 

“ Ohhhh Callum -“ Ben squeezed his legs on his boyfriend’s neck. 

He wrapped his plump lips on Ben’s cock and sucked slowly, moving his hands and holding a handful of Ben’s juicy arse. The pointy fingers were teasing the outline of Ben’s hole making it clench. 

“ You’re killin’ me cal. “ 

Callum hummed. A rhythm was set and because Ben was a desperate bitch for Callum. He was cumming in minutes. Which Ben was embarrassed about, his cheeks flushed from not only sex. Callum laid on Ben his hips still slotted between Ben’s and pressed aftercare kisses to the flushed skin. 

“ Don’t be embarrassed baby. “ 

Ben tried hiding his face, stopping when Callum cupped either side of his scruffy jaw. “ It is embarrassing. “ 

Callum tutted slightly. “ I don’t give a shit if you cummed from my touch in seconds. It gives ma a confidence boost that you want me that much. “ 

Ben huffed a laugh. “ this is what I needed. “ he murmured. “ thank you for not treating me differently. “ 

Callum stroked Ben’s hair out of from his forehead. “ I only see you. “ 

Ben smiled, madly in love. “ you’re gunna be late. “ 

“ Only becos you can’t resist me. “ Cheekily said, Callum kissed him some more. The kisses slow and delicate taking their time. Before Callum eventually had to go, he was still presentable considering the activities he just did.   
Ben was still laying there with his jeans down to his ankles, happy. His heart was filled and still felt Callum on him. 

He loves that man so bloody much. It is more than love. It is addiction, obsession, a need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried to write this as good to my ability! I hope this is okay and the smut isn’t that cringe-y or I hope there isn’t parts and ppl think “ yeh that doesn’t happen.”
> 
> I didn’t want to write Callum to be sweet and angelic when having sex with Ben ( but I also think he is sometimes ). I wanted him to be the dominant one. I feel Ben lets his guards down during sex ( most of the time ).   
Sorry if ppl do disagree with what Callum said but he is just railing Ben up to get a reaction becos he is too horny and desperate. 
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed / tolerated reading this and stay safe!


	121. Chapter 121

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #141 - “ Please let me help you “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowowowwow 900 kudos?! Flippen heck! Thank you so much for all the support and feedback. I never knew this Ballum one shot would reach 141 chapters ( and counting) and have 100 likes off 1,000!! It means the world to me, not just the figures but people actually giving a fig about my work x

It was expected really. Callum’s down fall. The mental decline. Stress. Aggressive behaviour. Mood swings. A complete change in his personality. 

I should have realised sooner. Ben kept telling himself. Why wasn’t I more observant? Why was I self centred and assumed Callum is fine? 

Now seeing his boyfriend attached to wires sleeping on the hospital bed. It brings an abnormal ache to his chest. He did this. If Callum wasn’t with Ben, he wouldn’t have been kidnapped, he wouldn’t be Ben’s support system, his resilience for Ben. Now, everything has ruined Callum. Ben doesn’t think there is a way out. 

Ben brought Callum’s limp hand to his lips and speaks muffled.   
“ Please let me help you. I’ll be better, please don’t leave me Cal. “ 

“ Bit late isn’t it? “ Stuart appeared, hearing everything Mitchell said. Stuart sat down opposite his brother, eyes dark and cold. He won’t ever forget his little brother’s distressed face, screaming, crying for help. For everything to stop. Now all of it has - for now. 

Ben sniffled, eyes red rimmed and tired. 2 days consisting of worrying and 30 minutes sleep.   
“ I know I should have done more. “ 

Stuart scoffed, before being more reasonable. Callum would want him to be. “ All of us should have - ain’t just on you. “ though, Stuart’s voice was flat and angry. 

“ Why isn’t he waking up? “ Ben whimpered. Even Stuart was taken back by the vulnerability Ben is showing. He really loves him doesn’t he? 

“ You know the docts said he has borderline severe pneumonia, dehydrated and has minor injuries. “ 

Tears bricked Ben’s eyes, not saying anything. He put his head down and rested Callum’s hand against his forehead.   
Mick and Linda creeped in the hospital room quietly, could say awkwardly too. Mick cleared his throat and Ben looked up seeing Callum’s extended family. Linda locked eyes with Ben something in them was shattering. 

“ ‘ow is he? “ Linda asked, quietly, her Halfway doesn’t belong in a hospital bed. 

“ Stable. “ Stuart answered him. Ben didn’t want to speak. Incase his lynx cracked. 

“ and - mentally? “ Mick hesitantly asked the question. 

“ Don’t have a clue. He ain’t woken up yet. “ 

“ but he will though. Won’t he?”Linda asked, scared. 

“... yeh. “ Stuart said after the short pause. 

The room went into quietness. Mick and Linda standing at the end of the hospital bed not knowing what to with themselves. Till Mick gasped. 

“ He just moved his ‘and! “ 

“ Cal.. Callum you ‘ear me?” Ben pleaded, hovering over him with his heart racing. 

“ I’ll get a nurse. “ Linda rhetorically stated, hurrying out of the room. 

-

All tests were completed and Callum was set to go home tomorrow. It was now just him and Ben. Ben looking guilty, scared, worried, relieved - a massive combination of emotions. 

“ I needed you and you weren’t there to ‘elp me. “ 

Ben’s face shattered into thousand pieces. “ I - I’m sorry.” 

Callum couldn’t look at him. “ i ‘elped you for ages with your deafness, I supported ya, I was your rock when you was crying on ma bout Danny and Phil. But when I was ‘urtin’ - you didn’t notice or just told me how much you’ve been through. “ 

“ I’m sorry. “ Ben cried. 

“ I don’t think I can be with you anymore. “ 

“ What? Nono please don’t Callum - please. I love you, I know you love me too. “ Ben scrambled out quickly, sitting on the edge of the bed gripping hold of Callum’s hand. Like if he lets go. They’ll be separated forever. 

Callum looked exhausted. “ i don’t think I can carry on bein’ your boyfriend Ben. “ 

“ I’ll change -“ 

“ haven’t you already said that? In February, you said “ You make me want to be better “ and we’re still the same. Nowts changed. “ 

Tears fell down Ben’s cheeks. He knows he has fucked up. “ Please babe -“

Callum whispered. “ just go. “ 

“ You ain’t in the right frame of mind -“ Ben instantly knows that is the wrong thing to say. By the way Callum’s face hardens. 

“ get out. “ 

“ Cal-“ 

“ GET OUT! “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And sorry if this chapter isn’t the best. 
> 
> Background context - Ben’s cochlear implant was successful and this is set later on in the year


	122. Chapter 122

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #142 -Ben wakes up during the night and wants to have sex and ends up being the withering bottom underneath Callum fucking him senseless. 
> 
> TW - rough sex, dirty talk, crude slurs used

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always feel nervous writing smut because I don’t know if it is okay and the smut talk is - acceptable?

Ben softly kissed along Callum’s neck, hoovering over his sleeping form and small little gasps escaped his lips as each wet kiss was applied to his boyfriend’s skin. Callum groaned in his sleep shifting closer to the warmth. Ben couldn’t stop the smile appearing on his face watching Callum have a small smile on his face. He is dreaming something happy, Ben guesses. 

“ Baby wake up. “ Ben didn’t mean for that to come out, his palm flat out on Callum’s chest as he kissed and nuzzled Callum’s neck and facial cheeks some more. 

“ Mmm you doin’?” Callum moaned, sleepily, wrapping the warm quilt around his shoulders. 

“ I want you. “ Ben answered with a whisper, pecking Callum’s dry lips. 

“ I’m sleepy. “ Callum sounded like a child. 

Ben threaded his fingers through the brunette locks. “ You dismissing sex for sleep? “ 

Callum blinked again and looked at Ben through clearing vision. In that moment Ben knew he won. Callum slowly sat up and pushed Ben down on the left side of the bed. 

“ Desperate little bitch aren’t you? “ Murmured Callum, slowly rolling his cock against Ben’s. “ Can’t even wank yourself off without needing your boyfriend to ‘elp you. “ 

Ben felt heat at the bottom his gut. “ Need your big ‘ands don’t I?” Smirked confidently. 

Callum’s hand went down between their bodies to Ben’s hard boner. He squeezed the stiff. “ Why couldn’t you do this yourself Ben?” Callum asked him, clear, lustful. 

Ben gulped down salvia. “ I wanted- “ Callum moved his hand up and down on the cock. 

“ what was that?” 

Ben panted, his smugness slowly fading into need. “ I wanted you. “ 

Callum tutted, removing his hand from him making Ben whine from the loss of contact. The taller man thrusted his hips side to side with their cocks hitting each other causing friction and heat. 

“ Desperate for cock aren’t you? Always aching to be fucked. “ Callum ranted against Ben’s ear. Ben’s hands wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck and short legs hooking at the ankle around Callum’s back. 

Callum stuck his fingers into Ben’s mouth to collect every ounce of wetness he could get.   
“ Come on Ben - I know you can give me more than that. “ Callum thrusted upwards making Ben gasp out, deep from his chest. “ Good boy. “ Callum seared a kiss to Ben’s dry mouth and stuck two fingers into Ben’s dry hole. The muscles clenched around Callum’s long fingers, more so, when he started moving them in Ben 

” Oohhh. “ Ben pushed his hips up into Callum’s crotch. 

“ Who said you can move?” Callum demanded, pushing him down. He stuck another two fingers in stretching Ben even more. It felt like he was being slowly ripped open. Ben slowly reached for his cock -

“ None of that.” Callum dominantly held Ben’s wrist away from their cocks. 

“ P-please Cal -“

“ stop bein a desperate slut and be a real man will you?” Callum hissed against Ben’s skin biting it between his front teeth. “ why aren’t you capable of doin what your told?” Callum growled. 

Tears bricked the bottoms eyes. “ Just fuck me. “ Ben was already wrecked, sweat lacing his face with flushed cheeks and body growing red from the expanded blood vessels. 

Callum barked out a laugh staring down at his boyfriend, sticking in his whole hand in Ben’s hole and making a fist. Ben gasped loudly, eyes dilating. 

“ Oh. You want me fuck you? Not even a please? “ Callum was in disbelief, turning his wrist around tormenting Ben. “ You really are a pussy ain’t you? You should be glad I luv you then. “ Callum cupped Ben with his right hand, hungrily snogging him. Their noses scrunched together and lips pressed completely together. 

Callum pulled his hand from Ben’s overly stretched hole. Earning a cry of pain from Ben, tears slipping from his eyes feeling his cock hurt from not being able to be released. His anal aching and hurting too. 

“ Aw Baby, I know you want to be fucked but you need to be good remember? “ Callum cupped either side of Ben’s scruffy jaw. 

“ Pl-please let me cum. “ 

Callum’s face scrunched up in mock. “ Thought you wanted to be fucked?” 

Ben’s eyes widened, pushing up and pressing his chest against Callum’s flushed one. He regretted moving because the pain shot from his crack was like it was on fire. “ I - I do! “ 

Callum stroked the very top of Ben’s eyebrow, pecking him 3 times on the lips. “ Lie down and I’ll fill you up like the Good greedy bastard you are. “ 

Callum lined himself up against Ben’s aching hole. He pressed his finger nails into Ben’s hips looking up and seeing his shorter boyfriend’s eyes black. 

“ Ready?” Ben nodded. 

“ Need ‘ear you say it sweetheart. “ 

“ Yes! “ 

Callum slid himself into Ben both of them gasping from the pressure. “ You feel beautiful, so so tight. “ Callum moved himself up into him. “ I can’t wait to fill you, to watch you leak from my big cock. You love that don’t you?” 

“ I love your big cock. “ Ben breathed out, sensing his own cock leaking. “ ‘ow I feel so full and I still want more. “

Callum smirked, wordlessly, thrusting faster and faster into him. Hips bashing together and cocks scrapping together like two planks of wood. 

Ben couldn’t hold on any longer. He needed relief. He needed to push. “ I’m - I’m gunna cum-!”  
Waves upon waves of cum went over Callum’s front and as Ben’s cock deflated, white liquid went over Ben’s own stomach too. Callum not long after orgasmed in Ben, filling him up. He pulled away with a pop. White liquid oozed out of Ben’s fucked out hole and he stuck a wet finger in gripped the inside of the skin. He pulled out and his finger laced with clear liquid. 

“ You dirty boy. “ Callum murmured, looking down his chest and stomach. Ben was panting frantically, blissfully fucked. “ You don’t honestly think you’re done right? “

Ben opened his eyes in slight horror. How is Callum not physically drained yet? 

Callum smiled, straddling him and kissing him whilst pushing his wet hair out of his eyes. “ lick me clean. “ Callum demanded. “ If you want to be a man, lick me clean. “   
Ben’s cock twitched. Callum helped him to sit up and kneel on his knees and shakily put his hands on Callum’s shoulders. This is too hot. He is too aroused, his cock filling up again, his skin burning. 

Ben moved his hands to hold his boyfriend’s waist as he licked his chest. Which made Callum laugh at him in shock. 

“ You honestly thought I was bein serious? “ Ben was embarrassed, turning bright red.   
Callum scalped handful of Ben’s cum and wiped it across Ben’s mouth. “ I knew you was always greedy but to lick your own cum off your boyfriend? That must be a new low for you. Ain’t it?”

Ben’s eyes went small but not in sadness. Pleadable. “ I’m your slut. I’ll do anything you say.”his voice strained, sounding drunk on sex. 

“ What would your family say ay?” Callum’s voice controlled, pushing his body against Ben’s as they’re both kneeling on their knees. “ a Mitchell licking cum off their boyfriends body. They’d be ashamed. “ 

Ben gulped, knowing their cocks are touching in the air. “ Your dad would be disgusted. “ 

Callum smiled. Finally Ben has his confidence back. “ He would hate me even more. Knowing I just fucked a man and fingered him. “ 

Ben wrapped his arms around Callum’s upper waist and pressed their stomachs and chests together, causing the cum to spread. 

“ fuck me again. “ Ben whispered into Callum’s mouth biting his lower lip. 

“ Such a sexy, pussy.” Callum groped Ben’s arse. “ Greedy, Gay pussy. “ 

Ben thumped his cock into Callum. “ You love it, you love me being a desperate fanny don’t you? “ 

Callum slowly moved them both down back onto the bed. “ You’re one of the kind. “ 

-

After round two of sex. Callum was making a hot water bottle and gotten them two glasses of water with some food. He entered their bedroom and helped Ben to sit up. 

“ I didn’t properly hurt you did I?” Callum was scared. 

Ben shook his head with a soft smile. “ You could never hurt me. You’re just big ain’t you? “

“ Sorry. “ 

Ben cupped his jaw and kissed him soundfully. “ don’t apologise. I love your big cock, even when it’s ramming into ma. What we just did - I’m addicted to it. “ 

Callum blushed. “ I loved it too.”

“ never be scared Cal, both of us liked it, both of us will be aching for a week but it was worth it Yeh? “   
Callum nodded. “ I’ll do it all again. “ 

“ Me too but I don’t think I can sit down. “ Callum chuckled awkwardly. 

They eventually fell asleep with Callum spooning Ben, protecting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have writers block for my new fic “ Sun, sea, sex and party “ it is really doing my headin.   
Can anyone suggest scenes they want to see? The parts I’m struggling with is Ballum in a strip club. Honestly. I need help or chapter 3 isn’t going to be updated.


	123. Chapter 123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #143 - The Albert Square residents wrongly accuse Ben. When something happens and when the truth is revealed - they all want to apologise to Ben. But Jola ( Jay & Lola ) and Callum won’t let anyone near him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Pinkbluebell x

A week of gossip. A week of snide looks, hushed whispers and unfriendly faces. It’s getting to Ben. Ever since the death of Phil Mitchell was exposed, everyone turned to Ben as the culprit. He can’t even go to work now - either The Arches or Maximum Motors - because the rumours that he is a murder has spread to the whole of London, all the criminal businesses too. 

The bobbies are delighted at the aspect of taking Ben down, this is their final chance to put away a Mitchell. A dangerous one off the stress. One problem being, Ben has an alibi. 

“ Babe we cant stay in ‘ere forever you know. “ Callum tells him gently, stroking the back of his husband’s head. 

Ben shrugs, swigging another beer watching daytime television that he can’t give 2 figs about. “ why can’t I?” 

“ cos you haven’t done anything!” Exclaims Highway in frustration. 

“ well they think I ‘ave don’t they?”

Callum frowns at his hubby. “ When ‘ave you ever cared about wot they think?”

Ben sighs heavily, putting down the beer bottle and looking up at his innocent husband. They have been married for 4 years now and it still feels like yesterday they got together in February ‘20. 

“ i thought they liked ma. “ Confessed Ben, he sounds so quiet and defeated. “ but it just shows they’ll never fully forgive me for the mistakes I’ve made. “ 

Callum plays with Ben’s hair.   
“ They are hypocrites. If we stay inside, you know they will only think you’re guilty. “ 

“ I don’t want face ‘em. “ 

“ You have too. You need show you are innocent. “ 

Ben chuckled with a dirty thought. “ I’ll never be innocent babe. “ Callum rolled his eyes in response. 

-

The moment Ben and Callum step into the Queen Vic. It goes quiet, all watching and thinking the same thing “ ain’t you been taken to prison yet?”   
Callum tells Ben to find a seat large enough for them, Lexi and Lola & Jay to seat at after. 

“ Two largers plz. “ Callum asks Mick, flatly. 

“ Son, Don’t Shut ma out. “ 

“ you think me ‘usband has killed his dad. “ Callum hisses in a hushed tone, making sure Ben don’t suspect anything. 

“ It was a mistake. “ 

Callum scoffed. “ you never fully liked him. “ venom in his words. “ I just want a quiet night with me family. “ 

Mick looks hurt, visibly swallows getting Callum’s order. Callum collects the drinks and goes back to Ben. 

“ he thinks I’ve done it Don’t he?”Ben asks him the second Callum sits down. 

Callum has always been a shit lier. “ He has his suspicions. “ 

“ Thought he saw ma as family.” 

“ and he does!” 

“ You, Lola and Jay Don’t. Do you?” 

Callum helplessly looks at his hands. “ I don’t know wot to say Ben. “ 

“ don’t say anything. “ Grumbled Ben, gulping down half of his beer. 

“ Daddy!” 12 year old Lexi runs in and hugs Ben in the booth before sliding into a seated position. 

“ You Alright Princess?” Ben genuinely smiles. 

“ Yeh! School was borin tho.”

Lola came to the table with her white wine and jay following with his beer. “ Well you weren’t saying that before lex. “ jay dobs her in. “ You was arguin’ with -“

“ Nono, lili was being nasty bout dad so I told her straight. “ 

“ what did you exactly say lex?” Callum was worried if she’s unintentionally made things worse 

“At least my mum doesn’t sell herself off for money and I have a functional family unlike her barley -there -single -mother. “ 

Lexis table fell into silence, shackled that their Lexi even said that. Before her parents could tell her that was unacceptable. Honey loudly said behind them. “ We know what she’s gunna be when Lexi is older. “ 

Ben turned around and angrily looked at the woman. “ Wot you mean by that?”

Honey looked startled. “ Oh nothing. “ 

Callum looked at her too, livid “You implying our Lexi is gonna be a criminal ain’t cha?” 

Karen stuck her nose in too. “ nah she just sayin’ Lexis gunna be rude like her dad - all the Mitchell’s are unloyal twats. “ 

“ Karen you wanna get out?” micks voice faded out when Lola’s spoke over the landlord. 

“ Err didn’t your Keanu sleep with Sharon for 2 years and get a sprog out if it? “ she then laughed bitterly. “ oh wait - two spogs from each Mitchell?” 

Karen sucked in her lower lip, teeth showing.” my boy -“

“ oh shut up Karen. “ Jay shot her babbling down. “ You bein such a hypocrite. Keanu was a sleeze, ain’t different to you. “ 

“ and what does that mean?!” 

“Work it out luv, surly you ain’t that thick.” Lola hissed. 

“ If none of ya can shut it - all of ya can get ‘out. “ Mick shouted on top of all their voices, getting the end of his tether. 

The Mitchell-Highway, Brown/Pearce family had one final glare at Taylor before going back to their seats. Which felt like defeat. Karen and Honey awkwardly resumed their drinking as the pub silently went back to their usual conversations. 

“ Sorry Daddy. “ Lexi nearly whispered. 

“ why you sorry for sweetheart?”Ben wrapped his arm around his daughters shoulders. 

“ If i didn’t say anything none of that woulda ‘appended. “

“ Lex, you do not ‘ave to apologise to the likes of them okay? You did nowt wrong. “ Lola told her daughter, no room for argument. 

Mick went up to their table sensing the bitter tension. All the tables eyes stared into the carters soul. 

“ M-menu of the day-“

“ We’ll just ‘Ave our usual Mick thanks. “ Jay put the landlord out of his misery. 

“ k. “ 

-

2 weeks later. It was told that Ben Mitchell did not kill his father but an old gang member took Phil down and caused his skull to break like a Victorian doll. 

Honey knocked on Ben’s and Callum’s house door. Callum opened it, not looking pleased to say the least. 

“ Yes? “ 

“ I want to see Ben -“

“ Why?” His tone still cold. 

“ To apologies. “ 

Callum slammed the door shut on her. “ Bit rude. “ she muttered. 

-

Eventually, the whole square sent sorry cards to Ben’s house. They were guilty and every one of the card had a note inside saying how sorry and guilty they feel for blaming Ben. 

And for every card Ben read. The more he wasn’t ever going to forgive or forget. But to move on and never be the same with that lot again.


	124. Chapter 124

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #144 - Callum is the one having the operation instead of Ben

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For WriterDialect x  
Sorry this is overdue

The hospital plastic chairs numbing his bottom is the only feeling Ben can grasp. Callum has been in theatre for 2 hours now and Ben still hasn’t heard anything. He has convinced himself his husband is in the morgue alone, cold. Dead. 

It was a gang of youths from the South End of London, they know The Mitchell’s from business to business and ‘eard about the queer son of Phil Mitchell marrying a man. A bent copper, who then was a Medic. 

Callum was already hated in the criminal world. 

Ben bites his bottom lip bringing tears to his eyes that fall onto his bold silver wedding ring. He and Callum were only in the park, in Walford, walking the long way back home from date night. 

Ben decided to not have his cochlear implant in that night. To not be dependent on it but - that costed his husband’s safety. He didn’t realise what was happening till he heard loud a very muffled commotion happening. 

Callum bleeding out on the wet ground. Youths running in different directions. Ben screaming in anguish with flashbacks of Paul. He couldn’t hear anything. He rang the ambulance but he was that hysterical. He was surprised the operator could understand what he was saying. 

Two hours of waiting. 

Kathy and Phil were with him. Ben thinks the hospital rang them on behalf of Ben. He can’t remember. All he sees is his husband unconscious and Paul dead. 

“ Ben. “ Ben looks up to see the doctor. He has never gotten up so fast. 

“ Have you got your implant in-?”

“ yeh - Yeh I have -“ Ben cuts him off, Ben isn’t interested in himself. He barley said thanks when Kathy brought it to him. “ ‘ow is me husband?!” 

“ Best talk in private. “ this isn’t good. This is bad. So bad. Callum is dead. Dead. I’ll kill those bastards. 

Ben’s leg bounces a second. Phil looks disinterested with fraction of concern and Kathy - she sees Callum as her own. 

“ The operation was successful.” Sigh of relief. “ However -“ i should be in Callum’s position. “ Callum has sustained severe injuries to his already damaged ribs. We had to remove a total of 3, two from right said and one on the left. “ Dr Kennington takes a deep breath, letting the information soak in. 

“ Yeh carry on this ain’t a soap opera ya know. “ Phil snaps, patience only lasting seconds, ignorantly ignoring Kathys and Ben’s glare. 

“ Callum has a fractured skull. Which will heal but we have put him into an induced coma. “ 

“ He ain’t deaf is he?” Ben hates how scared he sounds. 

“ There is no reason for him to be but we really don’t know till Mr Highway - Mitchell wakes up.” The Doctor half shrugs. “ his leg will be in a cast for 6-8 weeks from the severity of the kicks. But apart from the head injury. Callum should make a full recovery and see how the skull heals. “ 

Callum looks so small sleeping in the hospital bed. Wired up with tubes down his throat.   
“ He’ll be already son. He’s been through worse. “ Phil. 

Ben turns to him with utter disbelief. “ oh that’s alright then dad! “ 

Phil looks disappointed. “ Ben -“

“ no dad. You listen to me yeh? You find those twats who’ve done this to him or I will and I’ll kill every single one of them. Got it?” 

Phil shortly nods, walking away dialling a phone number. Ben turns back to the window, palm pressed against the glass wishing he could have prevented it. 

Paul. Now Callum. He is cursed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question to ask you, I really want some feedback as Google is utterly useless! 
> 
> Is it normal to not be able to move your forehead and have your eyebrows not move. When you speak, or make an expression with only the lower ( eyes down ) face moving?


	125. Chapter 125

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #145 - Ben does something wrong & they end up having angry sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Vicky x

Ben physically winces from the loud bang of the front door being slammed shut. A few seconds later a very livid Callum Highway storms into the living room power shooting evils at his idiot of a boyfriend. Ben. 

“ Babe -“ 

“ don’t even babe me Ben! You are an absolute liability! I can’t leave you for two fuckin’ minutes can I?” 

Ben would have made some remark. A cheeky innuendo. But, he knows his boyfriend and Ben can practically feel the testosterone on him. 

Callum leaps 2 long strides to him and grabs his wrist to drag him to the bedroom.   
Ben doesn’t have time to think before Callum is assaulting his mouth. “ So fuckin’ cocky you are. “ Highway bites down on Ben’s bottom lip, enough for it to bleed. Long fingers curl around Ben’s green jumper and aggressively pulls it off Ben and throws it into a random direction. 

“ Wanna tell ma? “ Ben pants, fuck, he can feel the heat in his cock. 

Callum growls, ocean blue eyes turning dark blue like ice. He grabs a tighter hold of Ben’s shoulders and pushes him into the wall before pulsing his dick into Ben’s cock. 

“ Snarky fucking bastard. “ Callum thrusts his hips against Ben’s broad ones, hungrily kissing his man. Their tongues collide with teeth bashing into each other. 

“ Ohh Cal -“ 

“ Don’t even say that. “ Callum yanks Ben off the wall suddenly making him walk backwards, too fast for his legs and collapsing into the mattress. 

“ Always actin like the big man ain’t you? “ Callum seethes, taking Ben’s jeans and boxers off in one swift movement. “ Always tryna be daddies golden boy. When really. You’re his bitch. “ Callum crawls up Ben’s body, twisting his hardening nipples. 

“ Ah - Cal!” Ben whines, half yelps from the pain. 

Callum smirks, dominantly. “ Woulda thought you’d be makin some crud comment Ben. “ he lets go of Ben’s nipple and tugs at Ben’s hair, smearing a heatfull kiss to his mouth. “ love your mouth. Big enough to take my big cock and hold mouthful of my cum. “ 

Ben moans loudly, loses control of his voice. He pushes his hips up wanting to be fucked. “ I need you. “ 

“ Like you need your praise? Your acceptance?” Callum mocks, with each word he thrusted his cock between Ben’s legs. 

“ P-please babe -“ Ben whimpers, breathing heavily with his aching sensitive cock standing tall. 

Callum pouts, sweat beads dripping down his face with shaking legs. “ you don’t deserve to be fucked. You’re a lier, a dirty, sexy criminal. “ the taller man whispered into Ben’s ear, biting the lobe. 

Ben’s lips chase after Callum’s moist ones. “ Fuck your sexy criminal then. “ 

Callum reaches over to get the lube and Ben takes advantage. He runs his hands all over Callum’s back muscles and biceps, flexing and clenching. 

“ You are beautiful. “ Ben yearns, sucking softly at Callum’s collarbone. “ You love me still. Even when I’m bein naughty. “ 

Callum scoops up handful of lubricant, straddling Ben’s waist. Ben stretches his hands over the thick thighs and scratches his nails down marking him. 

“ Fuck me. Use all that pent up frustration and fuck me till I can barley walk. “ 

Callum’s eyes turn darker. His cock twitches and more blood pulses in his veins. Single handily takes off his own t-shirt and resumes to stretch Ben beyond capacity. If he wants to get fucked. He will be fucked. 

Ben puts his legs around his boyfriends neck and Callum slides two fingers in first, watching the hairy hole twitch.   
“ look at that - aching to be fed more ain’t you? “ Admires Callum. “ Two ain’t ever enough is it, always needing more than what you should get. Was that deal worth it? “ no response. Ben’s eyes are closed with his mouth open, feeling incredible already. Callum wants to wreck him. He adds more lube and sticks all four fingers into ben, making arch his back up. Mouth open yet no noise comes out. 

“ Cat caught your tongue?” Callum is smug, wriggling his fingers in the twitching muscle.   
“ Bet all those criminals are louder than you are in bed. “ Callum supposed. “ then again they’re real men unlike you. “ 

“ I am a real man. “ Ben grits out with a growl, pushing his arse in Callum’s fingers. 

“ are you sure? Your dad don’t think so. “ Callum slips his fingers from Ben’s expended hole and feels more heat pool at the bottom his stomach. When Ben wetly moans. 

Callum lines his cock at the entrance and pushes himself in. They slot together like a jigsaw piece, hips pressed together and fingernails digging into skin. 

“ You’re shit criminal. “ a hard thrust. “ Gettin’ yewself arrested by coppers, can’t even do a deal right can you?” Another rough thrust made into ben making him grunt. 

“ So bad ain’t I?” 

“ Bad, bad boy. “ Callum’s thrusts came slow and gentle. Ben could feel him so much now, defined details. 

15 minutes later. Ben was a crying mess, whimpering with Callum stroking his swollen red cock. “ Let, let me cum. “ 

“ Nope. “ 

“ Callum! Please! I’ll be good, I won’t ever - ever do anymore d-dodgy deals - again” Ben was breathless, his chest erratic with his skin flushed red and wet. 

“ Lier. “ 

Ben groaned in frustration; a small noise escaping his lips. He pushed his hips up and Callum touched Ben at a beautiful angle making his cock twitch. 

“ Just let me fuckin cum you bastard!” Ben shouted, instantly regretting it when Callum pulled away from him. 

“ you can finish your self off now. “ 

Ben sat up shaking with nerves, adrenaline. “ Nono I need your - your hands!” He dragged Callum’s larger ones to his leaking cock. “ Please. “ 

“ you sound so pathetic. “Callum mocked, cupping his scruffy jaw. “ You Don’t deserved my hands touching you,” he handled the heavy balls, they looked like big oranges. “ Especially when you’ve fucked up another deal, I know I like legit but fuck me Ben. I could’ve been more successful than you.” 

“ I’m sorry. “ Ben strained out, looking at him through huddled vision feeling like second he is going to collapse from his shakes. 

“ You should be. “ Callum squeezed Ben’s cock and thumped it some more making Ben come on himself. He made a mess. A complete mess. 

“ Hope you enjoyed yourself because you’re sleeping on the sofa and cleaning this bed. “ Callum ordered, pushing an exhausted Ben down suffering the after effects of his long, endured orgasm. 

Ben lies on his back for a solid 10 minutes trying get over the shaking and waves of arousal.


	126. Chapter 126

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #146 - Callum’s vision is deteriorating over time. He makes a hospital appointment and they tell him. He will lose his eyesight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For WriterDialect x   
Prompt 2/2

A dark narrowing tunnel was all Callum could now see. At the age of 30 years old. The ophthalmologist told Callum his vision will only ever deteriorate and eventually be blind by 31. 

Callum can’t remember getting home. He can’t remember breaking down like a dam in the living room with his body shaking like a leaf. 

Blind. He is watching his own eyesight die and not him or professionals can do anything about it. Only treatment afterwards but not guaranteed because he will only see slight lights and won’t get his full vision back. 

“ Baby? What’s wrong? Callum?” Ben dropped the shopping bags onto the dark oak floor running to his husband; on the sofa. 

“ I’m blind! I won’t ever see anything again and when I’m thirty - thirty one I’ll be - l’ll be completely blind! “ 

You can’t define the emotion on Ben’s face. A mixture of words with his brain freezing from the information. Stroking Callum’s arm with his head on Ben’s chest speechless. 

How did it get to here? Ben half blind and has a cochlear implant. Callum’ll be blind at 31. Ben isn’t a religious man. But why has this happened to them? 

“ it’d, it’d be okay. “ Ben spoke, slowly. 

“ ‘ow! I’m goin blind and I won’t ever see me ‘usbands face again or - Lexi. Lexi!” Callum burst into another dam of tears. He can’t breathe, his head racing and racing with the surgeons factual information. Lexis and Ben’s faces slightly blurred in his head. 

He can’t even mentally imagine anything anymore. 

Callum suddenly pulled away from his husband. Cheeks red & blotchy with his eyes red. “ I can’t be with you Ben. You can’t be riddled with a blind person -“

“ don’t be so stupid!” 

“ I ‘Ave a vision impairment Ben! I’ll ‘Ave to ‘Ave carers and won’t ever be independent again. “ 

Ben shuffled quickly to his husband. The cochlear implant going 2% fuzzy with the high pitched voice of Callum. “ Babe There’s foundations ‘ho can ‘elp you, you’re not alone -“ 

“ I don’t see the point in bein’ ‘ere anymore. I’ll go unnoticed by everyone, wouldn’t be able to socialise or, or know wots ‘appending. “ 

Ben gripped hold of Callum’s hands. The man seeing very faint details of Ben. “ You are not going anywhere, you ‘ear me? We’re in this together and I’ll ‘elp you through everything okay?” 

“ I don’t see a way out. “ Callum whimpered, defeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is not the best piece of work. Truthfully, I wanted to get this out of the way.   
Callum has “ Retinitis pigmentosa (RP) “. I had a scenario that Callum’s mum had this genetic condition ( so her mum has it. Callum’s Nan ). But RP worsens over months/years and isn’t a sudden thing ( from what ive read ).   
In this short chapter. The setting of time length isn’t quite accurate, it is more 7 months down the line and when Callum gets diagnosed. His condition is progressing more and the surgeons have given him a time lapse when he will be eventually blind. 
> 
> *as stated before, medical information may be incorrect *


	127. Chapter 127

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #147 - E20 is the best place for a drink. A remarkable place for Ben to be jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anon x

For the past ten minutes now. Callum has been talking to this geezer at the bar. Callum has barley made any interaction of removing himself from the conversation and come back to his boyfriend, Ben. 

The more Ben sips on his lager. The more he is getting jealous and insecure. Maybe Callum has finally found someone who would look after him, who hasn’t got impairments. 

Somebody who is Perfect.   
No daddy issues.   
No insecurities.   
Somebody who isn’t Ben Mitchell. 

“ You Alright Babe?” Callum shakes his shorter boyfriend’s arm with concern written on his face. It pains Ben to see him like that because of him. 

“ Yeh - Yeh fine. “ he reads Callum’s slow lips. “ Who’s this?” Ben gestures to the man beside his boyfriend. 

“ Jamie. “ Jamie outstretches his hand waiting for Ben to shake it. Ben wants to laugh at him. Why would he want to shake this man’s hand when he doesn’t even know his name? 

Callum points to the chair with his head and tells Jamie to sit down. Ben’s heart races anxiously not knowing what they are saying. 

“ Me and Jamie used to go to the army together. “ 

Ben’s face falls. They used to be together? 

Jamie side hugs Callum shuffling his head in the crook of his distant mates neck. The intimacy rips Ben’s heart in two. 

“ Used to always be together didn’t we?” Jamie chuckles with slight slurred speech. 

“ yeh becos you was a loner! “ Callum snipes back, shoving him off playfully. Looking at Ben not noticing the tears in his eyes. 

“He was basically the ‘ I need to stay alone or I’ll end up goin back ‘ome ‘ type of guy. “ 

“ That makes out I was some sort of creep! “ Jamie out rages, making Callum turn around too quickly for Ben to read his lips. Only capturing half the sentence. 

“ oh I’m sorry. Do I need to retell the story when you locked us both in those steamy showers? “   
That era of being deep in the closet still causes shocks of grimaces throughout Callum’s body. 

“ You loved it! “ 

Ben felt like the 3 year old kid. That had no clue what was going on and observed everyone in silence.   
This was meant to be his & Callum’s night out. Just them. 

Callum blushed. Ben’s stomach churned more. “ I ain’t denying nowt. “ 

Ben finally got the courage and shook Callum’s arm. “ babe?” 

“ oh he finally speaks!” Jamie shoots before making a face when he assumed Ben ignored him. 

“ Yeh Babe?” Callum asked him.

“ can we go?” 

“ I’m I too intimidating for you?” Jamie mocked, causing Ben to feel more suffocated. 

Luckily Callum saved his boyfriend. “ nah mate. He’s just tired that’s all. “ 

Rounding up the bills and goodbyes. Callum & Ben make it back home to the flat. Ben just wants get back to bed, cuddled up with Callum and fall asleep. Unfortunately. Callum wants to hook out all the insecurities exploding in Ben’s head. 

what’s wrong?   
Callum texts him. 

“ Nothing. “ 

I know there’s something up. Plz talk. 

Ben huffs, lifting himself off Callum and sitting beside him. Twitching his fingers together and finally connecting eye contact. 

“ You never told ma you was with somebody else at the army.” 

Callum frowns. “ I wasn’t?” 

“ don’t lie. “ 

“ no babe I weren’t. Me and Jamie we’re together in the army as mates. You must’ve misunderstood. 

Of course I bloody did. “ Oh. Right. Sorry. “   
Callum’s jaw clicks, locking their hands together and pressing a kiss to Ben’s hand. 

“ You was jealous weren’t you? “ 

A tear slips from Ben’s eye. “ I just want you to be with somebody who ain’t got impairments. “ 

“ And I bet you wish you was with somebody who don’t have mental health disorders. “ 

“ what? No! “ 

Callum half shrugs, a glint in his eye. “ then we’re a match ain’t we? Both of us want each other but feel we don’t deserve love. “ 

Ben lowly chuckles. “ I love you cal. “ 

“ I love you too. “ Callum kisses his lips. “ now come on. Let’s go to bed early. “ 

Ben’s face lightens up. “ I’ve been waiting all day. “ he pushes Callum down on the bed straddling his waist crashing their lips together with tongues colliding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have re-written this about dozen odd times. But my writing has just flown out of the window and I don’t enjoy it anymore, ive kinda gone off EastEnders. Plus I’m extremely stressed about applying for uni, accommodation, money etc etc. Soo - I dont know if I’ll write again. I just lost the creativity. I’m sorry.


	128. Chapter 128

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #148 - Post break up. Callum self destructs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the Christmas break up but Callum was already in the police in that time to fit in with this chapter.

When Callum started out in the police he assumed it would be a turning point. A new curve in his life where things were starting out great, to build his confidence and become somebody Callum wanted to be proud of. How wrong was he to believe that naive assumption?   
The bobbies only sweet talked him to get information on Ben - plus Phil - they wanted Callum to be a spy on his own family.   
It taken Callum a few months for him to realise. For example, the chief officer always gave him promotions, or the other PCs would make him hot drinks and you could say. Working on the naive and the gullible. 

Callum quit the police force. 

Now unemployed. Callum was sitting at home with his whiskey bottles and cigarettes staring insignificantly. He felt like a middle aged fat bloke. Suppose, in some ways he is. No real family, alone and getting intoxicated with alcohol & tobacco. 

“ Babe please, let me in!” 

Ben’s broken voice cut in the dark shadows of the flat. 

“ I need to see ya - I need to know if you’re okay! “ 

Callum pressed the buzzer to reply. “ Fuck off Ben. “ 

“ Lexi misses you. I miss you. Please babe, I’m sorry okay? I know I’ve been stupid. “ 

“ Shoulda thought of that when you broke up with ma. “ Callum took a long swig from his whisky bottle. 

“ You’ve been drinking? “ 

“ Seems it. “ Aiming to sound funny only coming out incredibly sad and bitter. It breaks Ben’s heart. 

“ Cal I think you’re havin’ some sort of breakdown -“ 

“ Well If I’m having a breakdown dunno wot the fuck you’re havin’”. Callum hissed into the controller, throwing it on the other side of the sofa ignoring his ex. 

Callum is sick of being nice. 

-

00:04am. 

“ Cal let me in. “ 

“ Go away Stuart. “ 

“ I ain’t leaving you when you’re like this. Please let me in. “ 

“ I wanna be on me own. “ Callum flatly said. 

“ Please. “ 

With a loud huff. Callum buzzes his half brother into his flat. Waits for the comments and empathy, the pity and judgment. 

“ You look dead. “ 

“ cheers. “ 

Stuart turns the light on and his face falls from the ( looks like a crime ) scene in front of him. Callum winces from the light with his eyes blood shot and facial skin pale & ill looking. He also has a proper beard making him look slightly unkept. 

“ cal - it took you so long to stop. “ Stuart is disappointed, holding up the cigarette packets. 

Callum shrugs against the sofa back. “ Doesn’t matter. “ 

“ why did you quit the police? Thought it was ya dream? “ The older Highway questions, sitting down on the table ( after moving the mess ). 

“ They were usin’ me to spy on Ben ‘n’ Phil. “ 

“ Well Yeh brov. You’re wif the Mitchell’s. What did you expect?” 

Callum swallows the lump in his throat. Stupid. “ I’m sick of gettin used. “ 

“ cos you let it ‘appen. “ 

Callum slams the clear bottle glass down on the arm rest making Stuart to flinch slightly. “ Didn’t mum used to say be nice ‘n’ all? “ Callum reaches for the cigarette packet noting there are only two cigs containing now. 

“ Yeh? But there’s nice and bein’ gullible. “ 

“ Shoulda stayed alone. Better off lonely than havin’ your dignity ripped from you. “ He takes a drag off his ciggy. 

Stuart sighs. “ I can’t be bothered to speak to ya when you’re like this. “ 

Callum laughs out loud, right hand in the air with smoke going in the air from the tip. “ You’re the one who came ‘ere!” 

“ brov please just go outside and live again. “ 

Callum doesn’t respond. Instead breathing in a long breath and blowing out the grey smoke in his brothers face. “ nah your right. Need more fags & whiskey. “ 

-

Callum finally found the strength to get off the manky sofa and put some clothes on. Uncaring about the appearance he currently was in.   
Entering the corner shop and Honeys smile faded from her face. 

“ Callum! Hello, you look...” 

Callum walked past her not bothering to communicate. He grabbed three bottles of scotch fancying to up the strength.   
“ And two packets of cigs plz. “ 

“ are you sure?” 

“ nah you’re right. I’m I sure that I want these items I’ve chosen?” 

“ no reason to be rude -“ 

“ No reason to be so thick honey, do your job will you? “ 

“ Callum! “ Mick scolded, marching over to his son. Callum’s shoulders sagged as he rolled his eyes. Funny enough they didn’t roll out of his skull.   
“ What is wrong with you?” 

The younger man dragged his arm out of Micks grasp not looking at him, getting out his wallet. “ Nowts wrong. Just want get me stuff but I’m dealing with idiots. “ 

Micks face turned to thunder.   
“ Get out. “ 

“ You What?” 

“ Get out and come wif me. “ 

“ You can’t -“ The older carter dragged Callum out of the shop. Mick doesn’t care if Callum is a grown man and isn’t biologically his. Callum is a Carter and Mick isn’t letting Halfway be Jonno. 

Callum slouches on his settee staring up at Mick still standing in the centre of the room in dad mode. “ what was all that about? Honey ain’t done nowt to ya. “ 

Callum looks down at his table now feeling bit guilty. Honey didn’t deserve that before, just because Callum’s life is ruined doesn’t condone anything. 

“ I’ll apologise to her. “ 

“ yeh you will. “ Mick demands, now sitting down at the kitchen table. “ why you been drinkin ‘n’ smokin’ in ya slumber for?” 

“ No point in life. “ 

“ Halfway..” Micks voice soft. He never wants to hear somebody he loves talk like that again, Lee was troublesome but Mick can see his son in Cal. 

“ it’s true. No boyfriend, no job, used or “ protected. “ I try to be nice and shit but what is the point?” 

“ Because you’re a gentleman. Heather brought you up as good as she could. “ 

“ still left didn’t she?” Callum explained, hurt. 

“ I know son, but she wanted you to be anything like Jonno and she would ‘ate to see ya like this. “ 

Callum shook his head staring out into the window with tears building up in his eyes. “ I dunno wots happenin’ to me Mick. “ 

“ wot you mean son? “ Mick leaned his forearms onto his knees. 

“...everything’s gone wrong. I - I did ‘ave a good life, yeh it weren’t the best but - it was okay. “ Callum stopped talking, taking a deep breath and shifting on the seat. “ Now though, since comin’ out. It feels like me world is slowly collapsing. I luv Ben. I luv him too bloody much but he keeps tryna protect ma. Living separate lives with ma & it feels like I only get fragments of ‘im. “ 

“ you knew Ben was difficult. He don’t go the easy way Halfway.” 

Callum breaks contact from gazing and looks at his father.   
“ I know. I can’t ‘elp but still luv him. He’s just so affected by Phil, completely hooked on gettin’ this nonexistent acceptance. “ 

“ ‘Ave you two talked? “ 

Callum shrugs nonchalantly. “ He’s like me. Don’t like talkin’ cos it shows you’re weak till it’s too late and you want bash your head against the wall. “ 

“ And that’s why you suffer with yuw PTSD, why I suffer with me panic attacks. It’s not good to hold stuff in cal. “ 

“ I just want everything to stop.” 

“ what if you go somewhere, temporarily? Brighton or Cornwall. Just yourself and ‘ave a break. “ 

Callum rubbed his forehead feeling the alcohol hit him. It was only lunchtime and actually felt like 1 in the morning instead. 

“ I’ll look after. “ 

Mick nodded, standing up and clasping his hand on Highways shoulder. “ I’m ‘ere for you son.” 

“ thanks Mick. “ Highway sincerely thanked. 

Maybe leaving Walford is a good choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am slowly getting back into writing again! But it is still hard at times and I know this chapter is shit & OCC but I may or may not do a part 2?   
The prompts that are patiently waiting for me. I’m getting to them 🥴


	129. Chapter 129

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #149 - Ben accidentally hitting Callum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anon x
> 
> I know you wanted an abuse prompt but I didn’t want to write that and this idea came to me instead. However, I’m going try to do a sequel of this prompt with them arguing & one of them punching/hitting/flying miss isles with the other one. As they have punched each other ( accidental/rage ). But don’t count on the part 2! 
> 
> For chapter 148 ( if I mentioned ) I won’t be doing a part 2 for that

Ben felt his eyelids flutter open against the still dark room consumed him. He rolls onto his back and doesn’t feel his boyfriend next to him. Odd. Absentmindedly hurling his arm to the right aiming for the pillow to feel Callum. He hits him square in the face waking him up. 

“ hmm what was that for?!” Snaps Callum sleepily, always moody when waken up abruptly. Highway shuffles into Ben’s side resting his head in the crook of his neck and wrapping his outer arm around Ben’s mid - section. 

“Thought u left. “ mumbles Ben semi conscious. 

“ No, right beside ya and get punched in ma face. “ He snuggles his nose into the warm skin smirking tiredly when his boyfriend giggles. 

“ Ticklish that is. “ Murmurs Ben, twiddling the older man’s dark brunette beard. 

“ mmm least I can grow a beard.” 

“ I can grow one!”

Callum yawns against his bare chest. “ sure. That’s why u ‘ave that bare triangle on yew upper lip. “ 

Ben pinches Callum’s side earning a yelp. “ You luv it. “ 

Callum lazily reaches up and presses a dry kiss to Ben’s scruffy jaw. “ I do - just not the proper beard. “ 

Ben doesn’t reply, not needing too. The younger man cuddles his boyfriend of 3 years and presses one last kiss to his forehead before falling back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care x


	130. Chapter 130

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #150 - Callum’s recent weight gain dilemma durning lockdown 
> 
> Contains - cuteness! Insecure Callum! Soppy Ballum!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben has his hearing aids in this fic and the Covid’ guidelines are set around now ( also I have lost track of the week sorry ).

Callum was not happy okay! Since the 13th week of lockdown - which felt like week 200 - he and Ben were Quarantining in the flat upstairs from the funeral home. That consisted of unhealthy amounts of sex ( Ben didn’t see the problem “ but babe, this is what we were made to do. Fuck for hours on end and have nowt to do “). No proper physical exercise and Callum eating. Bored eating as he liked to call it. 

When he decided to put on his Nike small shorts - his body mocked him. He had expanded slightly and why did he eat that last slice of cake!? Why didn’t Ben tell him about the recent weight gain? 

“ Babe I’m meant to be the vein one remember? “ Ben cooled behind him eyeing up his boyfriend. 

“ you didn’t tell ma I was gettin’ fat. “ Callum talked at him from the reflection of the bathroom mirror. 

Ben shrugged his shoulders, frowning slightly. “ didnt think it was a problem - ain’t like you’re touching the sides of door frames any time soon. “ 

The older man of the two turned around, hands resting on his hips with a crease in his spotless forehead. 

“ Loved ones are meant to tell each other when the loved one is gettin’ heavy. “ 

“ but you’ve always been bit heavy. “ Ben joked, he meant Callum’s height. Callum meant his weight. 

Callum walked out. 

“ babe no come on! “ Ben vastly walked following Callum to their bedroom. 

“ you are laughin’ at me! “ 

“ If I was laughin’ at ya. I would’ve made a comment when you eaten the last slice of cake! “ 

Callum flopped his hands onto the bed where he sat against the pillows. “ Oh so you was making comments bout ma in ya ‘ead and carried on insulting me!” 

“ What? No! “ 

“ I can’t believe this - getting fat and havin’ me boyfriend mock me. “ 

“ you ain’t fat! “ 

“ I don’t believe you. “ 

Ben felt his soul give up on him.   
He walked to his insecure boyfriend and sat next to his thigh. “ You have always been bit- “ What was the right wording? Soft? Squeezable? Doughy? 

“ A bit? “ Callum impatiently repeated. 

“ ... a bit..soft. “ 

Highway barked out a disbelief laugh. “ So I’ve always been bit fat and no one decided to tell me?” 

“ You ain’t fat!!! “ 

Ben got on top of Callum straddling his thighs, digging his shirt fingers into the pale flesh.   
“ You ‘Ave never been fat okay? I love your body, I love holding onto you and feelin’ you not just muscle. “

Callum couldn’t escape the blue eye gaze, his cheeks reddening and his stomach. He nervously smiled. “ You really think that? “ 

Ben pecked his lips. “ not think. Know. “ pulling away and applying a second, third, fourth kiss into Callum’s jaw and neck. Callum naturally moaned at the pressure of the scattered kisses and felt Ben’s soft lips pull away with a moan of disapproval from Callum. 

“ Why d’you stop?” 

Ben raced his hands up Callum’s chest and going around the man’s neck and gripping softly at the brunette hair. 

“ Cos I want to appreciate you.” Murmured Ben, blushing from the sheer vulnerability he has just shown. “ ignore that -“

“ You know you don’t ‘ave to hide from me. “ 

“ hard sometimes not to show me true feelings. “ 

“ I know baby. “ Callum whispered gently. “ sorry for bein’ stupid before. “ 

“ you are allowed to be insecure Callum. “ the referenced man shrugged his shoulders not liking the attention suddenly. 

“ wanna watch a movie?” 

“ course. “ beamed Ben. “ but none of your super hero shit. “ making a beeline for the living room ignoring the insulted Callum. 

“ They’re not just super heros Ben! “


	131. Chapter 131

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #151 - School AU. Callum and Ben have been dating for few weeks now during the academic year. They’re in love. Stuart hates it. 
> 
> Tw/ crude swear word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anonymous x
> 
> Tony Clay looked beautiful in that EastEnders video and looked so healthy

The second Stuart walks into the house he immediately wants to walk out. The sight of his half brother cuddling the popular naughty kid - Ben Mitchell- makes the older Highway man want to slap Ben across the face. 

“ Alright brov?” Callum acknowledges him, his head still in the direction of watching the telly. 

“ fine. “ Came the short reply, face full of disgust hearing Ben make Callum giggle and soft ripples of laughter escaping Ben’s lips. 

“ Wanna get a pizza?” Ben asks his boyfriend, bluntly ignoring Stuart standing in the kitchen now pointlessly. 

“ Yeh if you want. Stu? “ Stuart forces his body to turn around to look at the love sick couple. Evil imprinted into Ben’s blue eyes his smaller hands still on Stuart’s brother. He knows what he is doing and Stuart cannot stand it. 

“ Shouldn’t you be goin’ ‘ome? Back to your mum?” Stuart hisses in a flat tone to the Mitchell.. “ oh wait. She’s still dead aint she?” 

“ babe don’t -“ Callum pushes him back down on the sofa. “ Stuart apologise! There was no need for that! “ 

“ no? Hes only wif ya cos he feels sorry for you Callum!” 

“ He loves me. “ Callum defends them both, trying not to show the hurt Stuart has caused. 

“ oh give me a fucking break! Ben don’t luv ya Callum, he’s a nasty little leech gettin’ his kicks in the weak ones. “ 

“ Mate you need your ‘ead tasted, I ain’t wif him becos he’s weak. I’m wif him becos I love him! “ 

“ You think I’m weak?” Ben looks down at him guiltily, the sentence he used now replying back. “ no babe -“ 

Callum felt pathetic tears break out. Running off the sofa and shooting you the stairs with his heart beating hard in his chest. Stuart and even his boyfriend think he is weak. Ben is only with him because he sees him as a vulnerable animal. Jonno was right. Callum is too much of a fanny to defend himself. 

Stuart claps his hands hysterically. “ Well done Mitchell! Well fuckin’ done upsettin’ me brother.” 

“ You was provoking ma! You can’t stand the sight of him bein’ ‘appy can you? “ Ben yells, chest puffing in & out with short breathes. “ You havin’ to put your life on ‘old to look after him and havin’ ya Dad in prison for GBH. You must resent him. “ 

“ I ain’t listenin’ to a 16 year old.” 

“ no? Well if you want Callum to stay away from ma - you need to hide him as far as you can cos I ain’t leaving him!” Ben gets his belongings and slams the door shut, exiting the flat in fits of rage. Till regret settles in and feels guilty for leaving Callum alone with Stuart. 

-

Ben watched Stuart leave the flat and the Mitchell lad jogged fo the door letting himself in quietly. Callum was still in his bedroom laying on his bed still affected by last night. Too in his head to hear his boyfriend come in. 

“ babe “ 

Callum flinched slightly. “ ‘Ow did you get in?” 

“ Door was left unlocked. “ Answered Ben, creeping over to him and straddling his thighs. “ Last night wot I said. It came out wrong. “ 

“ did it? “ Callum whispered, anxiously. 

Ben cupped his boyfriend’s jaw and pressing a kiss to his soft lips. “ I luv you, all of you, I don’t give a toss if you ain’t popular or you beat the shit outta blokes - but you’d look pretty fit tho -“ 

Callum laughed at his humour softly. “ Of course. “ 

“ Wot Stuart said ain’t true cal, he ‘ates ma and wants to draw a distance between us. “ 

“ i won’t allow him too. “ 

“ But you live wif him. “ 

Callum shrugged, bringing his pinky finger up in the air. “ Us against the world remember?” 

A soft blush crept onto Ben’s cheeks, a gentle smile forming on his face as they intertwined their pinky fingers together. 

“ Us against the world. “ 

What they didn’t hear was Stuart coming back into the flat hearing their passionate exchange. He quietly went back outside and got his phone out knowing this will wreck Callum’s heart and take Ben away from him forever. 

“ I want to make a statement against Ben Mitchell. He was involved in arson. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, I wanted to get this out of the way and I was thinking of a really good idea for this but then I thought. Is it a bit too much? So I’m sorry if this chapter is vague and flat!
> 
> Background information -
> 
> Ben’s mates were involved in Arson 3 weeks ago on the day Stuart rang the police. Stuart has the ‘evidence ‘ that Ben could be involved because he was home( Phils) but no one can give him an alibi! So the police would suspect Ben could be a suspect and Stuart can basically set him up.


	132. Chapter 132

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #152 - Ben comforting Callum who is sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Ballumfic x 
> 
> Sorry if this rubbish!

Ben nuzzled his nose into Callum’s half curly hair delicately rolling his boyfriend into his body making him more safe. 

“ You okay babe?” Ben softy asked, twirling Callum’s brunette hair in his fingers. 

“ Fine. “ Came the fragile reply. 

“ you know we’re safe yeh? Nothing can’t ‘urt us. “ 

Callum shifted his shoulders and head on Ben’s thighs, nuzzling the left side of his face into the soft squishy flesh. 

“ you can’t be sure on that. “

“ no, but I know that it’s unlikely for us to be in danger. “ 

“ Chris used to say that, “ a small smile appeared but it didn’t fit the circumstances. “ even when there was bombings. He still told me we would be safe. “ 

“ And were you?” 

“.....sometimes. “ 

“ You hardly ever mention the army. “ 

Callum tensed. “ it’s bad to talk about it, bad things ‘appen. “ 

Ben frowned. “ like what baby?” 

“ Images, faces, blood - death. I don’t want to think about it!” Whimpered Callum, getting distressed. Ben held him closer and ran his fingers through Callum’s hair massaging the scalp. 

“ I ain’t forcin’ you baby, I just want you to be healthy again. “ 

“ Chris said that once, he wanted me to be ‘appy and healthy and then he died. I needed him but he didn’t need me. “ 

Nobody actually needs me. Do they?


	133. Chapter 133

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #153 - Ben gets really intoxicated and accidentally triggers flashbacks for Callum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Anon x

Callum has always managed to sleep well during the night as a young child. If there were thunder storms, lighting bolt rain - you name it - Callum slept through the mayhem. Till the age of six. Jonno came more drunk, more physically and verbally aggressive and young Callum started wetting the bed. Stuart of course helped his little brother during the late hours of the morning. But it never stopped Jonno from giving Callum a slap. 

Today was already a difficult day for the Highway lad. He was hyperaware of his surroundings, snippets of flashbacks clashing into his tired brain. All he wanted to do was go to sleep. Only, Ben was out today with some mates and Callum couldn’t sleep. He can never sleep without his boyfriend snuggled next to him, Ben calmed him, made the voices go away. 

BANG! “ Fuckin’ cunt!” 

Callum bolted up, gasping for air at the sudden disruption. 

“ Stupid - shoud’nt even be there -“ 

Callum grasped the sheets as sleepiness fell away and reality came plummeting down. Ben was home. And extremely drunk. Callum slowly gets up and walks out to see his boyfriend stumbling around the kitchen getting food. 

“ Let me ‘elp -“ Callum started to say. 

“ fuck off cal-um. Yoo ain’t no use anyway. “ 

The older man, of the two, stepped away hurt at his words. Jonno used to say something similar to that. 

“ I’m just want to ‘elp you Ben. “   
The drunk man turned, tired eyes glazing over and pointing a plastic frying spatula at Callum. 

‘ ugly piece of shit you are - shoulda gone wif ya mother and fucked off ‘ 

“ I don’t need you - no one does” Said the drunken Mitchell, stumbling around back to the counter failing to open the bacon. Callum crept up to him in fear, it’s like the process of age regression and gone back to that frightened six year old again. 

Callum pulled Ben’s shoulder and everything happened so fast. Like a whip on a rollercoaster and it goes flying. Ben smacks Callum across the face and pushes him with so much unsudden force. Callum flies back on his bum with a thud. 

‘ WASTE OF SPACE ‘ Jonno spat at young Callum on the floor. 

“ Callum - I didn’t mean - I’m sorry -“ Ben sobered up in a nanosecond. He stepped forward to help his boyfriend and whimpered when Callum flinched from him and flew backwards 5 inches. 

“ You ‘urt me. “ Callum whispered, carefully touching his left reddened cheek. 

‘ Daddy please don’t ‘urt me ‘ 

“ I’m so sorry Callum. “ Ben cried. 

Callum quickly got up, his balance trying catch up with his physical quickness and legged it to their bedroom. Locking the door and sliding down the wooden frame chocking on sobs. 

“ Baby, Babe please, I’m sorry!” Ben panicked, feeling physically sick. 

“ Please just go. It’s fine. “ 

“ no it ain’t! Cal I shouldn’t ‘ave ever ‘urt you. Please open the door. “ 

A few seconds past. Ben felt his heart lurch but then their bedroom door opened and Callum stood looking in he definition of vulnerable. Floppy hair, red puffy eyes with a cheek representing the assault Ben made. 

Tears dropped from Ben’s eyes and felt he didn’t have the right to even be in the same room as Callum. How could he do that to him? 

“ I’m so sorry. “ 

“ it’s fine. “ The Highway lad was defeated, tired. He walked past Ben to sit at the settee. “ Dad use to ‘urt me when he was drunk so it’s just normal init. “   
Ben firmly shook his head outraged. 

“ no it ain’t Cal. It’s abuse wot Jonno use to do to you. If you want break up with me -“ 

Callum grasped at Ben’s hands and shook his head, still not properly looking at his eyes. “ I don’t want break up with yew. “ 

“ you can’t even look at ma. “   
Ben wished he hadn’t. The hand print glued onto Callum’s pale skin looked disgusting. 

“ Callum. “ he broke down into sobs, rocking his boyfriend in his chest feeling worse than guilt. “ I’m so so so sorry. “ 

Callum’s long fingers stroked along Ben’s arm. “ It’s fine Ben. No you shouldn’t of done it but you’re drunk. Just forget ‘bout it. “ 

Ben pulled away from him wiping at his eyes and cupping his boyfriend’s jaw. “ I can’t forgive me self, I’m dangerous. “

A sigh escaped Callum’s lips. “ Ben you didn’t mean to ‘urt me okay? Please just don’t dwell on it, you won’t ‘urt me again so just - just go to bed. “ 

“ with you?” 

“ yes with me. “   
The walk to their bedroom was tense. Ben couldn’t look at him and Callum was feeling worse than ever. They got into bed and Ben hesitantly put his arms around Callum’s waist and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead. Callum tried to hide the wince from the strong smell of alcohol in Ben’s breath. It was like being with jonno again, him shouting in Callum’s face and he had no else to breathe. 

“ love you. “ 

“ I love you too. “ I will always love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based this on my own experiences with my drunk mum ( some parts included in this ). SO I’m sorry if this chapter feels borderline abusive but I need to be truthful. Every time my mum is drunk she’s either verbally or physically abusive ( and an organisation have stated she’s emotionally abusive ) and with my mums ex bf. He was twice as bad.   
So this is kinda normal for me. But this chapter isn’t abuse for Ballum.


	134. Chapter 134

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #154 - 2 months since returning from the army on medical discharge. Callum is not coping mentally. He has lost his freedom, independence and asks Ben for something. That is so not Callum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Writing another PTSD, OOC Callum fic? Obviously!
> 
> For anyone that is interested. I won’t be doing a sequel for the last chapter. 
> 
> TW - Drug mentions, PTSD/ flashbacks, mentions of injuries

Pain. That’s all Callum felt through out the day and night. He couldn’t get away from it. The strong medication - Co-codamol - barley touches the fragile wounds on his body.   
Ben, bless him, has done anything and everything for his boyfriend. Made teas, hot chocolates, Hell he has even taught himself how to cook. When Callum was sleeping day to night after returning back from the army. Ben felt he had the responsibility to bring Callum back to good health. Only, Callum’s injuries are far from good health and bit of fried egg with beans and toast isn’t going to help the pain. Is it? 

Now somehow today is worse than the others. Callum is whimpering into Ben’s chest crying and clutching his sensitive left side as well as begging anyone listening to stop the burning sensation. It feels like he is on fire again, having that firing shrapnel launch itself into Callum’s already damaged side and that is the only the first list of problems. 

“ P-please Ben. Please make it go away!”

“ You know I would baby, if I could. “ 

Callum pulls away from Ben shaking and ill looking with desperation. “ please get me drugs Ben. “ 

Ben stills. “ Y-what? No I ain’t gettin’ you drugs! You off your nut?” Jumping slightly when Callum unexpectedly clings onto his arms. Highways dark eyes glaring into Ben’s bewildered ones. 

“ I just want the pain to go away Ben. Please. Please help me. If you really loved me -“

“ That’s a low blow. “ 

Callum whimpers, turning away from him ashamed of himself. All his morals and self respect thrown out of the window. A shadow of his former self. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

Ben shuffles closer to his broken boyfriend and nuzzles his face in the crook of Callum’s neck hugging him. This is breaking Ben’s heart. 

“I know you are baby. I dont want you becoming dependent on ‘em. “ 

“ I want to forget. “

“.... I know you do...” Ben whispers just loud enough for Callum to hear. A plan forming in his head. 

-

Ben tucks Callum into his side of the bed, after passing his pain killers with water and before reapplying lotions and bandages to the severe and mild wounds. Checking that Callum is asleep, Ben leaves the room closing the door softly and going into the living room. Sitting down on the settee and ringing the only bloke who has contacts of contacts. 

Phil Mitchell. 

“ Dad, I need your ‘elp. “ 

-

Like each morning for the last two months. Ben brought Callum breakfast and the added essentials of his prescription routine. Like each morning Callum would kiss Ben back tiredly and would feel normal. Till life kicked in. 

“ Phils coming over in a bit. “ 

Callum looks at him tiredly. “ why?” 

Ben forced his body around to fully look at him. Guilt riddled his heart knowing he has told Phil. 

“ You did what!” Callum yelled in betrayal. “ Why - why would you do that? I trusted you Ben! “ 

Ben rushed to Callum and sat opposite him, gripping hold of his larger hands needing his full attention. “ Phil has been through addiction and I thought him tellin’ ya his experience-“

“ I ain’t on drugs. “ Callum butted in, weaker now. Ben guesses the sudden movement caused more damaged to Callum’s injuries. 

“ I know baby. But havin’ me dad tell ya about drugs could ‘elp you to not ‘ave any. “ 

Callum covered his face with his hands feeling like crying. “ I just want the pain to go away. Why the fuck did that twat bomb that area? “ 

Ben pushed Callum’s head into his chest and kissed his long brunette hair. “ I’ll ‘elp ya cal, you know I’ll do anything for you. “ they were short lived when banging against the flat door persisted. 

“ I always knew you was thick but thinkin’ of takin’ drugs? “ Phil stormed in, zoning on the Highway lad. “ Why the ‘ell would you take drugs for? Ain’t me useless son enough?” 

“ thanks dad. “ Ben said beside his lowlife of a father. 

“ legal drugs don’t ‘elp. “ Callum answered the older Mitchell, not even registering the bickering between the two criminals. 

“ And wot? Illegal ones will?” Phil stated bluntly, belittling Callum. Callum dares to look up to see Ben’s sad eyes glowing into Callum’s and full of concern. Phil red and annoyed as ever but in his own twisted way. Phil has some empathy. 

“ you took drugs. “ 

“ Yeh when I was in a low place -“

“ but being burnt alive out in a war zone being bombed and havin’ to see colleagues die ain’t a low point? “ 

Ben sniffled back a noise from the back of his throat. It kills him hearing about what Callum went through, each time it’s mentioned it feels like the first. 

Phil sighed awkwardly. “ I don’t want see a decent cretin throw ‘is life away. “ only him can offend someone with a compliment. 

Does Callum really want to get all heart-full in front of his boyfriend’s dad? The bloke who cried when his son came out and is emotionally cold? 

“ I ain’t listenin’ to you. “ 

“ Well that accident did grow ya some balls -“ 

“ Get out!” Callum couldn’t contain his anger, the mock. He knows Phil is laughing at him. No one cares, not really. Only Ben. 

After Ben gets his dad out of the flat. He goes back to Callum and lets him set in Ben’s lap and snuggle on the chair. Ben kisses Callum’s temple stroking his back. 

“ I’m sorry baby. “ 

“ ain’t your fault. “ Callum said quietly into Ben’s chest. 

“ I want to ‘elp you. I just don’t want seein’ you become ten times worse. “ 

Callum’s hand sneaks around to cup Ben’s head pressing a delicate kiss to his lips. “I don’t want to be in pain anymore. “ 

I don’t want to see you in pain anymore too.


	135. Chapter 135

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #155 - Ben cannot hack it anymore. Seeing Callum’s devoted support and advice is too overwhelming, exposing Ben’s vulnerability. Ben does the only thing he knows. Snaps. Causing Callum to be drunk and cold hearted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon - Ben is permanently deaf

“ I just want help you Ben! Is that too much to ask? “ 

Ben finally snaps. “ Stop tryna help every fucker Callum! Always trying to fix everything when you can’t even fix yourself. So why the fuck should I listen to somebody who’s incapable of fixing themselves?!” 

Silence filled the suffocating room. Did he really just say that? All Callum was doing was support him, giving advice and altering his own environment to support Ben’s needs. Educating himself on deafness for people with permanent hearing loss and Ben just snapped at him, said unforgiving words. Just because he feels weak, pushing people away as it exposes his weakness. 

Verbally hurt Callum. Callum who has been the one that has stuck by his side, not pushed on BSL, has done everything for Ben’s well - being to not decline. 

Ben is a prick. He hates himself more than he originally did. 

“ babe I’m sorry -“ 

Callum’s mouth downturned, sniffling back as tears immediately coming to the surface. “ Noted. “ shuffling past his boyfriend harshly struggling Ben off him. When Ben clung onto his arm, digging his fingernails into the skin. The front door spammed shut echoing the whole flat as vibrations ricocheted into Ben’s fragile head. Ben broke down on the couch intense cries filling the empty flat with load ringing causing him to become more distraught. 

Why is he so damaged? 

-

When Callum left the flat he headed straight to the mini market to get some booze. He could laugh really, just what his old dad would do. Go straight to the ale when he wants to escape, learn to cope and have a fuzzy mind. 

When Callum looks up to the sky. It’s pitch black. Yet no thoughts consume him, empty mind. The whisky has done its job then. 

Ben - please baby come home. 

Ben - I need you. 

Ben - don’t leave me, plz, I need you Callum. Come back 

Callum turns off his phone and heads back stumbling along pavements and nearly falling back down the steep stairs of the flat. 

“ where did you go? You was hours. “ 

“ Anywhere except ‘ere. “ Callum grumbles drunkly, heading into the storage cupboard getting out a pillow and thin blanket. 

Flash of hurt crosses Ben’s face soon changing into confusion. “ why aren’t you sleeping in our bed for?” 

“ I don’t want be near ya, considering I’m such a nuisance to ya. “ The older Male snaps the blanket and pillow onto the couch. Then heading past Ben to the fridge getting more alcohol. Ben helplessly watching feeling the distance increase and them becoming colder. 

“ I want you near me. “ 

“ No you don’t. You do wot you like yeh? I ain’t interested and you don’t want me support so I don’t give a shit. “ 

“ I know you don’t mean that. “ 

“ go to bed Ben. “ Callum coldly tells him from the sofa. 

“ I’m sorry. “ 

“ so I’m I. “ 

Frozen on the spot watching his kind hearted boyfriend turn into this cold hearted man terrifies him. Callum ain’t like that and when pushed. Ben’s broken him. 

“ You still ‘ere? “ 

Ben gulps feeling like a little boy moving away and retreating to their bedroom in silence. Clutching Callum’s pillow he cries in silence not hearing a sound.


	136. Chapter 136

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #136 - sequel to the last chapter (135)

Throughout the night Ben did not sleep. He couldn’t handle the thought of Callum drinking more than he can consume and alone in the living room. What if he has a flashback and Ben can’t hear him?   
Ben kept checking on him even when he got snapped at, even when Callum hurled nasty things to him. Ben stayed, plus he didn’t know exactly what his boyfriend was saying but 1, he was drunk and 2, he was slurring his sentences. So Ben couldn’t grasp what he was saying regardless.   
Mitchell groggily gets his phone barley eyed and eyebrows knitted together looking at the time. 06:59. Great.   
Getting out of bed and sliding some random baggy shorts and Callum’s large hoodie on. The strong mist of Callum’s cologne hits him square in the face. The smell makes him miss Callum even more and shows how much he fucked up too. 

“ Oh your up. “ The words escape Ben before he can stop himself. 

“ yeh sorry about that. “ Came the harsh reply, Callum looked at Ben square in the face and said it. Ben doesn’t know if that hurts more. 

“ Can we talk? “ Ben awkwardly played with his ring. “ please?” 

Callum got his mug and sat at the kitchen table. Dark circles under his eyes and looking unkept. “ Go on then. “ 

Ben sat down too. “ I’m sorry. “   
Callum held a blank expression. “ What I said it was out of order and I need to stop pushing you away and thinking you can take it. “ Callum didn’t say a word. It made Ben’s anxiety go worse.   
“ please say something. “ 

“ what do you want me to say?” 

“ anything. “ 

“ I’ll wait till the next time you manage to control yourself and not verbally assault me Yeh? “ 

“ Please don’t be like that. “ Ben whined. “ I’m trying me best and I hate that I’ve hurt you again. It’s all I do and I hate seein that I’m damaging you. “ the last part escaped with a squeak from a dry throat and from crying. Callum’s face softened getting up and walking round the table. He wrapped Ben into a hug kissing his head. 

“ I won’t take anymore of you pushin me away and bein nasty Ben ok? I love you but I will leave you. If this happens again. “ 

“ I promise- I’ll try harder. “ 

Callum pulled back. “ Just have some self control, walk away or something. “ 

Ben nodded vulnerability, blinking back tears. “ we good?” 

“ We’re getting there. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is bleak and probably not what you wanted but my head was blank writing it.   
But Ben does try to control his emotions and doesn’t snap so easily. Callum is less persistent and just let’s ben do what he wants. So less supportive than he used to be. He knows he can’t change Ben and accepted it and now sees that when he is too supportive he suffocates Ben. Which causes a negative reaction out of ben.


	137. Chapter 137

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to chapter 134
> 
> Tw - drug mentions, mentions of scars/bruises/wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually like this chapter. But I’m sure people will find it cringe-y!

The following day Callum was in bed. A low mood consumed him aching from the fibre of his bones. Nerve endings screaming with sensitively and shock waves of jolts littered Callum’s legs. 

“ Do you need anything babe? “ Ben asked him. 

He too was in bed not leaving his boyfriend’s side even for a minute. Plus, he has tried to make this day as normal as it can be for Cal. The 34’ inch telly hanging on the wall at the very end of the bed with a braided bed cover adding extra warmth ( thanks to Lola buying it so Lexi had something to give to her daddies for a special treat ). Made Callum feel at least human even by 1%. 

“ Some more painkillers please.” Callum replied, barely above the average tone. 

Ben looked awkward. “ you only had some half an hour ago babe. “ 

“ Ain’t enough. “ 

“ but they was -“ 

Callum clutched Ben’s jumper looking up at him death like. “ please. “ 

Ben sighed not happy. “ fine. “ he softly pecked his lips with a stroke to his hair and left the bed. Callum instantly missed the warmth and the loss of presence made him more lonelier. Moving deeper into the mattress he let out a loud moan of distress feeling the infected wound rip open slightly under the bandage. Shaking under the many covers he couldn’t stop his legs from jolting causing his whole body to shake making the external and internal injuries to suffer even more. 

“ Your wounds has ripped open haven’t they?” Ben knew from the second he walked into the room. 

Callum nodded weakly, rubbing his thighs trying Stop the shakes. “ The - the infected one. “ 

“ Cal, need be more specific. “ 

Heavy sigh. “ Largest one. “ 

“ let’s have a look -“

“ no!” 

Ben knelt on the bed kneeing in front of him. “ I’ve seen them hundred times before. “ 

“ you’ve seen them too many times Ben! You didn’t sign up for this. “ 

Ben kisses Callum’s salty forehead. Callum’s eyes become slightly droopy with sudden tiredness. Ben stroking him isn’t helping either. 

“ The moment I fell in love with you. I signed up for every single issue that comes your way. “ 

Callum looked back up with tears in his red eyes. “ I don’t deserve you. “ 

Putting the high dosage of tablets on the cabinet. He got into bed and wrapped the covers around Callum then wrapped his arms around his waist. 

“ you do cal, I love you and I won’t ever see you differently. “ 

“ I hate myself. “ 

Ben felt his heart shatter. “ I’ll get you to love yourself again. Even if it kills me. “ 

Callum trailed his finger up and down Ben’s chest. He didn’t want to move, too comfy. Typical really, considering he was in so much pain and the minute he is in his soulmates arms. Everything melts away. 

“ I love you Callum. “ Ben murmured. “ Babe?” He leant back and smiled without showing his teeth. Callum fell asleep holding onto Ben. 

At least Callum hasn’t overdosed on anymore pills and had the correct dosage. 

-

As unconsciouses faded away into consciousness. Callum felt heavy. The room dark as his retinas readjusted. Ben sleeping against the crook of his neck and limbs protectively around the older man. It brought a small smile to his scruffy face. Ben has become so much more mature as of late and let some of his hard man image die down ( but only a little bit ). Now Ben takes responsibility and really has shown Callum how much he is in love with the man. 

The sentimental moment vanishes just as quick as the pain starts again. Callum wants to cry. Sliding out of Ben’s tight embrace he gets his phone from his cabinet to ring a withheld number in the living room. He does not catch Ben waking up and eyes blinking in the dark. 

“ Meet me in 20. I want ‘em. “   
Coming back into the room he tries to quickly get dressed. But the sight of Ben ‘sleeping’ tugs at his heart strings. Does he really want to do this? Does he really want this, doing drugs? It will wreck him and Ben will be disappointed. But Callum wants the pain to go away. Callum leaves the flat silently. 

Ben gets dressed within 0.5seconds following his stupid boyfriend’s footsteps. 

-

Callum walks, walks and walks to the drug dealers destination in a dodgy park. Street light posts causing trees appear larger, scarier, darker around edges and -

“ FUCK! “ Callum gasps, spun around like a lighting strike. Ben in his face fuming with rage. 

“ you cretin. You fuckin’ moron! You think I’m thick or something?” 

“ how-?” 

Ben laughs. Not remotely funny. “ I know when me boyfriend leaves me - I got some sort of fuckin device drilled into ma that tells me you’ve fucked off. “ 

Callum looks down at the wet ground. He can’t look at Ben feeling like a guilty dog unable to match eye contact with their owner. 

Ben’s hot breath floats away in the old air. “ You wasn’t gunna tell me was you?” 

“ I couldn’t. “ 

Ben looks like he is about to cry. “ why baby?” His voice doesn’t match his facial expression. He cups Callum’s beardy jaw and lifts his head up. 

“ You’ll be disappointed. You wouldn’t let me go if I told ya. “ 

“ Least you have some sense. “ 

“ I need them Ben! You don’t understand how much pain I’m in!” Callum squeaked in a low hush, a tear rolled from Ben’s eye. 

“ you really picking drugs over me? Over us. Aren’t you?” 

“ don’t say that. “ Whimpered Callum. 

Ben’s hand tightened around Callum’s jaw. Ben’s eyes never looked so bright yet so dark before. A chill ran down Callum’s spine and it weren’t the cold. 

“ You’re throwing your life away and I can’t watch the man I love ruin himself. “ 

“ That Callum? “ A rough, suspicious voice came from the darkness. Callum squinted and there was the bloke. Who has the drugs to take away the pain. 

“ Choose Callum. “ Ben ordered, his voice unexpressionable. 

“ you can’t make me do that. “ 

“ I ain’t waitin’ all night mate. “ the drug dealer hissed. 

Ben felt Callum slip away. Callum walked into the dark leaving Ben on the other side of the light. 

Callum really choose the first option than him. 

-

Ben walked off back home, the flat. Pathetic tears ran down his cheeks and he couldn’t stop crying. Callum choose drugs. Drugs and not Ben. Does Ben not mean anything to Callum anymore? His sweet, thoughtful - considerate boyfriend has changed into a man Ben does not like. 

“ Ben - wait please - wait - please Ben! “ Those two last words made Ben Stop. It was the break in Callum’s strained voice. Even now when his lover has ripped his heart out. Ben will do anything for him. 

“ what do you want Callum? Thought you be high as a kite by now. “ 

Callum turned him around. Callum was crying, red cheeks and velvet eyes with dried tear stains down his puffy cheeks. What a mess. 

“ I choose you. “ 

“ Do you? “ 

Callum frantically nodded. “ Yes I got ‘em and they weren’t worth it. I chucked ‘em in the nearest bin. “ 

“ I don’t know if I believe you. “ 

“ You can check me. We’ll go to the flat and you can check me. Please Ben, please don’t give up on us. “ 

“ like you did?” 

“ Becos I’m desperate! Im so fucking desperate for the pain to go away, just have twenty minutes of silence. Outta of me head and just be free. “ “ But i couldn’t stop seein your face. You looked devastated. Your eyes, your eyes looked so dead like. Like a part of ya died and I couldn’t handle it. You are my drug Ben Mitchell and I’ll probably regret it but as long as I have you with me. That’s all I need. If you have me? “ 

Ben broke into a sob. “ come here you numpty. “ 

Loud ugly tears echoed the empty industrial estate. He sobbed into the shorter man’s shoulder. “ I’m so sorry - so so fuckin sorry baby. Please forgive please Ben. “ 

“ of course I forgive you. I love you and I’ll never stop. “ Ben pulled away, feeling exhausted. “ I’m proud of you. “ Callum sniffed hard, aggressively wiping away his tears. 

“ I want go home now. “ 

-

Ben didn’t sleep. He didn’t let himself again. Instead he watched over Callum till dawn came, a new day, the same routine. 

“ Mornin beautiful. “ Ben stroked Callum’s cheek with his inner finger. 

“ Mornin. “ Sleepily smiled Callum. Last night emotionally and physically exhausted him. But he’s glad Ben stopped him. 

“ You okay?” 

“ I’m glad you stopped me. “ 

Ben shifted closer. “ I am too, but I understand your intentions. Even though they’re wrong. “ 

Callum held both of Ben’s hands together and kissed each knuckle. “ I love you. “ 

Ben could cry. This is his old Callum. This man in their bed kissing him so delicately. This is his Callum. 

“ I love you too. I’m still proud of you even when you don’t see it.” 

“ I’m goin try ‘n’ get help. I want change for you. I don’t want you watchin the man you fell in love with decline even more. “ 

Ben pushed his leg between the V of Callum’s and wrapped his arms around Callum’s neck. Breathing in the same oxygen with their hearts beating in time. 

“ I want us shower together. I want be intimate again with you.” Ben’s voice low and gentle. “ I just want bathe you baby. I ain’t askin for anything else. I promise. “ Ben played with Callum’s long hair. 

Callum’s eyes widened with terror. “ You - my body -“ 

“ shh shh shh it’s okay. I’ve seen it when I have to change your bandages - I still see my sexy man. “ 

“ ain’t that anymore. “ Callum looked down only to have Ben lift his chin up and press a feather kiss to his lips. 

“ you are sexy and fit and mine.” 

“ come on then. Always get your own way. “ Callum weakly joked but the glint in his eyes were back. Ben’s eyes smiled, hide the way his face fell when Callum gasped in pain but tried hide it. 

Warm water running and Callum stared terrified. Ben watching his every move, breath and he could barley take off his t - shirt without shaking. 

“ you want me to undress you?”

Callum dumbly nodded. Ben pressed a soul kiss to Callum’s plump lips. “ Hate seein you insecure. “ murmured Ben, slowly raising the body shirt as Callum tensed with his goosebumps coming up. 

“ See? Beautiful. “ Callum shivered from Ben’s bird touch, finger tips trailing along Callum’s skin tickling him ever so softly. 

“ m’not. “ Callum had the urge to cross his arms over his chest but Ben held them in place.   
The younger man pressed individual smooches down his torso to each scar and bruise to each side of the bandage of wound. 

“ I see you. Just you Callum. “ 

“ How?” Ben’s face moved. Taking off the rest of their clothes. Ben puts them both into the shower. Callum bits back a distressed noise from the warm water hitting his sensitive skin. 

“ You have physical scars. But they’re part of you, I don’t see just see your physical injuries and I don’t just see a label for your mental state. I see my Callum. I see my funny, handsome and bit of a airhead Highway. “ Ben pushed Callum against the wet wall as he bathed Callum in special non inflammatory shampoo. “ I see the man I love. Who I want cherish, protect, keep safe and will do anything for. “ 

Callum bit his lip hard enough that could cause it to bleed. This is too intimate. Callum holds a sob because he is too overwhelmed. Ben hasn’t been like this in a long time and since all the shit they have faced. It’s too much. 

“ sex ain’t just for stiffies. “ Ben quirked an eyebrow with his lip raising up. “ I feel closer to ya. I love our morning kisses, snogs, cuddles - sharing a shower together. I would have this over anything any day. Cos I love you Callum. “ 

“ I don’t know what to say. “ Callum’s voice broke. 

“ you don’t have to say anything at all. “ Ben stroked back Callum’s drenched hair. “ just kiss ma. “ 

Callum’s hands slide up Ben’s love handles to his shoulders and around his neck. Pressing in their tongues dance together like sugar in hot chocolate. Sweet, warm - home. 

“ I want be your husband someday. “ 

“ We’ll make it a reality sweetheart. “


	138. Chapter 138

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is deaf as canon. Callum in the police during covid

Seeing Callum from across the square unaware of Ben watching him makes his heavy heart, heavier. Since lockdown became more than 6 weeks in isolation. Ben has gotten used to Callum’s work schedule. For example, at 11:20, 13:40 and 15:55 on most days. PC Highway is wondering around the square. 

Ben has definitely noticed his boyfriend looking more tired, slightly unkempt and more firmer. Ben isn’t keen on that last description. Callum is kind, warming and doesn’t bring any sort of power over you. Now, PC Plod - who sometimes trips over air - holds himself straighter, chin up and out. Less dorky and more fitted for a hardened police officer. 

What makes it worse is that Ben is reluctant to directly talk to him now. Callum’s PPE making it impossible for lip reading to happen, Ben doesn’t know enough sign language for a conversation and the mask he wears causes his glasses to fog up because of his contacts have run out. ( plus he can’t be bothered ordering new ones and money being tight ). 

Alternatively, they stick to texting and Skype when at home. Which again causes strains with Callum working constantly. 

Ben feels detached. 

Being at the Mitchell house can have those effects. When you have Phil Mitchell as a dad. But Lexi has been a goldmine, her enthusiasm, optimism and pure joy has really lifted Ben’s mood. Made him miss Callum more. 

Ben now slumps on his bed in his childhood room staring at his own front camera on his laptop waiting for Callum to pick up. Ben could laugh at his dull expression and the typical appearance of slumped with the small double chin showing. 

“ Alright Babe! “ Waves Callum happily but it doesn’t reach his eyes like they did before. “ Oh. You look moody. What’s wrong?” Callum adjusts his four fingers to greet the thumb with a slight bent in the joint. To make the mini finger exposed upwards for the BSL pronunciation of “ what’s wrong.” 

“ Nothin. This is what I normally look like. “ Answered Ben, reading the subtitles. Callum specially got for him after downloading an app and paying for it. 

“ How’s it been then?” 

Ben shrugged, inching both of his lips upwards. “ Boring but lex makes it better. And food. And porn. “ 

Callum rolled his eyes at the typical response. “ Everyone knows I’m the real deal babe. “ 

“ No one compares cal. “ Callum doesn’t think Ben intended to sound so soppy. Nevertheless, Callum doesn’t comment but can’t help to show how warm it made him feel. 

“ works been stressful. But I have a day off tomorrow. Hopefully. “ 

“ We could always meet up? I know 2 metre distance but spend some time together?” Pleading practically. 

“ I dunno - where?” 

“ The woods? Nice little picnic, you sit one end and I sit at the other. “ 

Callum looks reluctant. Ben bites his lip trying not look heartbroken. “ it’s fine cal. It don’t matter. “ 

“ it’s not that I don’t wanna, it’s the rules init and I don’t wanna risk it babe. “ 

Ben nodded, trying to rapidly blink away the tears. Faking looking down at his phone. “ Aw Babe gotta go - dads texted, wants me pop to the shops. “ 

“ oh. Ok. I’ll try text ya later yeh?” 

Ben forced a smile and ended the call on Callum’s equally disappointed face. Ben can’t do this tonight. His heart isn’t strong enough to carry on with a conversation with the man he loves and not even be allowed to touch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really trying to get back into writing but I don’t think it’s for me 😩


End file.
